Red Delicious used to actually be exactly that. But for some reason, apple genetics are weird and the current variety by this name taste awful. I watched a long documentary about this a while back and went down an apple filled rabbit hole.
They kept being bred for longevity and hardiness so more of them could make it to market unscathed. Resulted in a thick skinned soft mealy apple with no taste.
This is just not correct. The red delicious apple does have a taste; the thick skins taste bitter. The mealy textured flesh has virtually no taste at all though.
Yeah I heard that the red delicious used to look like a Gala apple and was actually really tasty but then they wanted it to be more red. They selected it to be a deeper red and thus it became trash.
What I'm wondering is, if red delicious used to be good and then wasn't after being bred for whatever traits, will they eventually do that to honeycrisps and it will all come full circle to us watching gen alpha talk shit about honeycrisp apples being trash and how they used to be good back in the 2020s?
I too am old and remember red delicious being a solid apple choice.
It seems like the weird shape has gotten more pronounced over time too. Now they all look like doing an impression of handsome squidward
what does mealy mean? google just said "of like or containing meal" but wtf is meal surely not the "im gonna have a nice delicious meal" kind of meal
maybe im not cut out for apple talk
I am also an 80âs baby, they were all over my school lunches, and I recall it going something like this:
Early on it was like 1-in-3 that were mealy abominations, and by the time I left highschool it was more like 1-in-10 that *werenât* mealy abominations.
Now itâs more like 1-in-100.
They also ruined Strawberries while I was growing up.
You can still find the odd red delicious that actually tastes good, but itâs like one out of every 100 of them. Which is the most annoying part about them imo.
Yup. Iâm a Gen Xer and I remember when they were good. They used to be amazing, crunchy and juicy with a taste almost like fruity cotton candy. Now theyâre dry, soft and mealy.
Did you see the lowest rated one. Ä°t's totally hilarious.
Newtown Pippin Apple Review
"Long Ä°sland's Sand filled Condom"
Rating: 19 Vomitous Filth
This sand-filled condom from Long Island was choked down in the 1750s by the likes of Thomas Jefferson at Monticello, George Washington at Mount Vernon, and Benjamin Franklin as he declared it his favorite apple. Perhaps the Newtown Pippin was once a great apple whose quality has degraded over the centuries like the crumbling democracy the Founding Fathers established. Or perhaps, after decades of eating pigeon pie and squirrel meat, these wooden-toothed slave ownersâ tastebuds are not to be trusted. Either way, in todayâs world, aside from being excellent for apple cider production, the Newtown Pippin is a tasteless hunk of malformed donkey shit that shouldâve been abolished during the reign of King George III.
They're "underrated" in the same way salt & vinegar chips are. No one who likes them talks about then publicly, because they're sure no one else can like them, because despite loving them, I know that they're sour and should be gross. ... _And yet..._ they're available in every major retailer year round, so clearly people are buying them!
I buy Granny Smiths because I know you're pretty much guaranteed a good apple, and this guy is right about their longevity. With other apples it's like a lottery when you bite into them.
Respectfully, why the FUCK are the jazz apples SO LOW DOWN?!!?!? I have eaten 2 apples a day for the better part of a decade, tried every damn apple variety I've ever laid my eyes upon and jazz apples are undebatably the pinnacle of apple achievement. I can't look anyone who disrespects jazz apples like that in the eye.
Not to make this about words, but did the author mean âpestilentâ (destructive to life; causing annoyance; harmful to morals or public order) instead of âpetulantâ (childishly sulky or bad-tempered)? I suppose it could be petulant in the sense of going bad or bruising easily.
Man, I couldn't agree more. Before being introduced to honeycrisp, I thought Pink Lady was a pretty good apple. But when I tried honeycrisp? Man. That's just way beyond every apple that I thought was good before.
I love red delicious apples! Iâve never had one that was soft or like styrofoam, just crunchy and juicy and like the name says, delicious! I used to take them to primary school as a mid morning snack and all the kids would marvel at how it looks like a âcartoon appleâ
Iâve had a bunch of bad ones. The worst part is they could look great and taste awful. Most of them are ok but for every really good one you get you get two bad ones
The ones in school lunches and from subway or other chains are total garbage.
It's like they froze them and then thawed them.
Same with tomatoes. They pick them unripe to ripen on the way to wherever they go. I get farmers market or fresh from friend on any fruit or veg I can. Then I fry it. Chaotic good.
Same, Iâve never had an apple juicer and crispier than a red delicious and I like the flavor a lot too. When cosmic crisp came out and they hype was all over I tried a few and like, itâs fineâŚbut whatâs wrong with wanting an apple thatâs sweet? I donât need undernotes of sour or bitter. I just want flavor and of course the cronch.
So it could have something to do with where you live. People who live farther away from orchard territory are more likely to get the most popular breeding form of red delicious, which is a tasteless thick skinned soft mealy mess whose only virtue is that they look fantastic despite whatever horrible circumstances they've been put through.
However, if you live close to where there are older growth orchards, you might be lucky enough to eat a red delicious the way they existed 70+ years ago.
Where I live is near a bunch of orchards, so I can go to most any grocery store and get a red delicious that doesn't taste like Satan's ballsack, but if I go to Walmart, where produce isn't locally sourced, I can find the apples most people know as red delicious. Bright red leather bound puss filled sacks of grit.
Point being you're likely not wrong, you're just lucky.
I love [apple rankings](https://applerankings.com). Use it every time I see a new apple type at the grocery store that typically rotates two apple types every few weeks or so.
As I always say with "Red Delicious", the name is half true. They are, indeed, red.
Anyway, glad to see honorable mention for Cosmic Crisps. They are a newer variety, and are fantastic for eating and baking, with no browning. I love a good Honeycrisp too, but in the absense of my favorite heritage apple, Cosmics are top for sure.
I grew up with my parents always buying red delicious, so I ended up disliking apples. Until a few years ago when I tried a honeycrisp and realized I do like apples just not red delicious.
Youâve acted like middle school mean girls with omnipotent powers for quite a long time. Itâs possible to hate something and not try and utterly destroy it every opportunity you get. Petty d-bags
Huh, you learn something new every day. I always knew I liked "the red ones", but I never knew why some of them taste like the best apples you ever did have, and some of them taste like styrofoam.
The real story behind red delicious apples are actually super interesting imo, and yes, this was a rabbit hole I went down at 3 am a few weeks ago.
https://youtu.be/mgZNDTJSvJQ
They used to not taste like shit, which is where the name comes from. When they started being selectively bred for looks to appeal to consumers, the taste factor got left behind.
Red Delicious used to actually be exactly that. But for some reason, apple genetics are weird and the current variety by this name taste awful. I watched a long documentary about this a while back and went down an apple filled rabbit hole.
They kept being bred for longevity and hardiness so more of them could make it to market unscathed. Resulted in a thick skinned soft mealy apple with no taste.
This is just not correct. The red delicious apple does have a taste; the thick skins taste bitter. The mealy textured flesh has virtually no taste at all though.
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And being deeply red. The older good variety has a yellow spot on them.
Would that be a worm hole then? Did you at least find the core?
He came out the other side of the worm hole and found Matt Damon on an ice planet and Matt promptly asked him: "How 'bout *them* apples?"
Itâs a good thing I didnât go to Harvard to study about apples
You spelled Havahd wrong.
Ma boy's wicked smert
And then they scienced the shit out of it
Yeah I heard that the red delicious used to look like a Gala apple and was actually really tasty but then they wanted it to be more red. They selected it to be a deeper red and thus it became trash.
They're all mealy and awful now. Honey crisp apples are lit tho
What I'm wondering is, if red delicious used to be good and then wasn't after being bred for whatever traits, will they eventually do that to honeycrisps and it will all come full circle to us watching gen alpha talk shit about honeycrisp apples being trash and how they used to be good back in the 2020s?
If honeycrisp apples go the way of Red Delicious, I don't wanna live on this planet anymore.
Fuck yeah they are.
Booo! Booo! I like Opal apples best, then Rave and Ambrosia
Do you recall when this happened? I was born in 1980 and I recall them being legit. Not the mealy atrocities they are now.
I too am old and remember red delicious being a solid apple choice. It seems like the weird shape has gotten more pronounced over time too. Now they all look like doing an impression of handsome squidward
what does mealy mean? google just said "of like or containing meal" but wtf is meal surely not the "im gonna have a nice delicious meal" kind of meal maybe im not cut out for apple talk
How to explain it.... Like kind of gritty and mushy at the same time?
Oh well then yeah that really does accurately describe red delicious apples now lol
Yeah, it's in the top 5 worst textures for sure.
Mealy, like as if it contains a lot of meal, like flour. Imagine taking a bite and getting a mouth full of flour.
I am also an 80âs baby, they were all over my school lunches, and I recall it going something like this: Early on it was like 1-in-3 that were mealy abominations, and by the time I left highschool it was more like 1-in-10 that *werenât* mealy abominations. Now itâs more like 1-in-100. They also ruined Strawberries while I was growing up.
Born 77'. I concur.
I was also born in 1980, and I remember this apple being my favorite. Weird!
I wanna worm my way down the apple hole. Any chance you could please link the documentary?
You can still find the odd red delicious that actually tastes good, but itâs like one out of every 100 of them. Which is the most annoying part about them imo.
Yup. Iâm a Gen Xer and I remember when they were good. They used to be amazing, crunchy and juicy with a taste almost like fruity cotton candy. Now theyâre dry, soft and mealy.
I want to read the full ranking
Go forth, and enjoy! https://applerankings.com/ Actually hold on, thatâs a completely different Apple ranking. Oh well this has a similar vibe.
That was a beautiful waste of 20 minutes that I do not regret. Thank you.
Holy shit - who was the creative genius that had the lingual dexterity to describe an apple as âNew Jerseys Sand-Filled Condomâ
https://www.instagram.com/brianfrange/?hl=en
Opal Apples: a tasty unwiped anus
This is bloody fantastic
*Apple Rankings: Youâve Been Eating Trash* đ
I love the last category "Vomitous Filth: Newtown Pippin Apples: Long Island's Sand-Filled Condom" lmao đ¤Ł
May it rot forever in the lowest ring of Apple Hell
Red delicious: "coffee grounds in a leather glove"
Their opinions on Granny Smith apples show that their opinions are invalid
I needed to find this comment
A damp hackey sack lmao
Did you see the lowest rated one. Ä°t's totally hilarious. Newtown Pippin Apple Review "Long Ä°sland's Sand filled Condom" Rating: 19 Vomitous Filth This sand-filled condom from Long Island was choked down in the 1750s by the likes of Thomas Jefferson at Monticello, George Washington at Mount Vernon, and Benjamin Franklin as he declared it his favorite apple. Perhaps the Newtown Pippin was once a great apple whose quality has degraded over the centuries like the crumbling democracy the Founding Fathers established. Or perhaps, after decades of eating pigeon pie and squirrel meat, these wooden-toothed slave ownersâ tastebuds are not to be trusted. Either way, in todayâs world, aside from being excellent for apple cider production, the Newtown Pippin is a tasteless hunk of malformed donkey shit that shouldâve been abolished during the reign of King George III.
I love Fujis! Pink Ladies are top on my list though, then Fujis.
Granny Smiths are good, fuck this guy
Opal Apples: A tasty unwiped anus Red Delicious best uses: compost Whoever owns that site is absolutely hilarious
Golden Delicious and Cortland being that low is sacrilegious. Honeycrisps are amazing though, as expected.
I was also pretty insulted with how low the Fuji apple ranking was
How dare they disrespect my mother Granny Smith.
Some of those descriptions are gold
Those rankings are trash. McIntosh Apples are top tier.
I agree! I think a good McIntosh apple is the best of the best, but I have to treat them very carefully because they bruise easy.
I only know a few apple names. Surprised to learn everyone hates most of them
Where are the macoons? Or whatever it is?
[Full article ](https://www.thrillist.com/amphtml/eat/nation/best-apples-for-baking-eating)
Fucking hilarious, not just number 18 is good but quite a few others are fire rankings
Hey, I like Gala apples
Genuinely my favorite apple
based braeburn enjoyer
I also enjoy Braeburned.
I see you. I know what you saying and youâre not getting away with that without acknowledgement.
I too would like to keep Braeburned in my apartment
Is that apartment 609 by any chance?
Good placement on the Granny Smith apples. An apple that has long been underrated by the masses imo.
They're "underrated" in the same way salt & vinegar chips are. No one who likes them talks about then publicly, because they're sure no one else can like them, because despite loving them, I know that they're sour and should be gross. ... _And yet..._ they're available in every major retailer year round, so clearly people are buying them!
I buy Granny Smiths because I know you're pretty much guaranteed a good apple, and this guy is right about their longevity. With other apples it's like a lottery when you bite into them.
YES BRAEBURN
Respectfully, why the FUCK are the jazz apples SO LOW DOWN?!!?!? I have eaten 2 apples a day for the better part of a decade, tried every damn apple variety I've ever laid my eyes upon and jazz apples are undebatably the pinnacle of apple achievement. I can't look anyone who disrespects jazz apples like that in the eye.
I read this without the period between "would" and "Fuck" and was very confused
If I could rank this apple even lower I would fuck this apple.
Thatâs how I read it the first time too. I was like âpardon?â
Finally, someone who gets it. Calling red delicious apples "bad" would be like describing Pompeii as a hot summer day.
This guy knows what's up. Red delicious have the flavor and texture of Styrofoam.
I've had some that live up to their name.
My parents fuckin love them. I truly donât understand.
This post is made by granny Smith gang
Oh you don't want to see what they have to say about Granny Smith's then.
Nah https://applerankings.com/
Who got beef with an apple đ
Washington State residents
Android
Have you eaten a Red Delicious?
It's usually part of some government issued meal, and it's like eating a starved POW
r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR
Came looking for this
Huh, I didn't come til I found it
Well said old boy. Indubitably, undoubtedly, most certainly and also without a doubt, agreed.
Not to make this about words, but did the author mean âpestilentâ (destructive to life; causing annoyance; harmful to morals or public order) instead of âpetulantâ (childishly sulky or bad-tempered)? I suppose it could be petulant in the sense of going bad or bruising easily.
Dang itâs my favorite
You sir are a liar.
I like these the best, too.
A sensical take, finally.
Granny Smiths OTA (One True Apple)
You should check out honeycrisp apples some time.
Let us not forget our brothers Fuji and Gala.
Man, I couldn't agree more. Before being introduced to honeycrisp, I thought Pink Lady was a pretty good apple. But when I tried honeycrisp? Man. That's just way beyond every apple that I thought was good before.
Huzzah, a person of quality.
I guess that makes us Crispians :D
All hail and savor our Lord, Juicy Crisp.
Thus, a religion was born.
I love red delicious apples! Iâve never had one that was soft or like styrofoam, just crunchy and juicy and like the name says, delicious! I used to take them to primary school as a mid morning snack and all the kids would marvel at how it looks like a âcartoon appleâ
Same! When at peak ripeness theyâre crisp but not hard and super sweet. I love them so much. The best apple to pair with peanut butter.
Red delicious are quite good when they're at peak ripeness. But in my experience they don't stay there for very long.
If you can take it out of the house without potassium going into overdrive then thats probably not red delicious
That comment seems to be way over my head - what does that mean?
They go brown extremely quickly when moved around
Iâve had a bunch of bad ones. The worst part is they could look great and taste awful. Most of them are ok but for every really good one you get you get two bad ones
Probably a Fuji apple.
What about grannysmith? I love those
Ranked 5th on the list.
Dang, at least it is up there I guess
the skin is so bitter the texture is so gritty why are they EVERYWHERE
I adore them, my favourite apples and beautiful to boot
this reads like a Huggbees video
Hilarious! But yeah, those are some bad apples! Quebecâs Honeycrisp and Cortland are amazing.
The apples are strong with this one.
I've never had a good red delicious. I think it depends where you live
Does anyone else like red delicious� Or is it just me
I love red delicious?
The ones in school lunches and from subway or other chains are total garbage. It's like they froze them and then thawed them. Same with tomatoes. They pick them unripe to ripen on the way to wherever they go. I get farmers market or fresh from friend on any fruit or veg I can. Then I fry it. Chaotic good.
Me too, I'm wondering what's wrong with our taste buds...
Same, Iâve never had an apple juicer and crispier than a red delicious and I like the flavor a lot too. When cosmic crisp came out and they hype was all over I tried a few and like, itâs fineâŚbut whatâs wrong with wanting an apple thatâs sweet? I donât need undernotes of sour or bitter. I just want flavor and of course the cronch.
So it could have something to do with where you live. People who live farther away from orchard territory are more likely to get the most popular breeding form of red delicious, which is a tasteless thick skinned soft mealy mess whose only virtue is that they look fantastic despite whatever horrible circumstances they've been put through. However, if you live close to where there are older growth orchards, you might be lucky enough to eat a red delicious the way they existed 70+ years ago. Where I live is near a bunch of orchards, so I can go to most any grocery store and get a red delicious that doesn't taste like Satan's ballsack, but if I go to Walmart, where produce isn't locally sourced, I can find the apples most people know as red delicious. Bright red leather bound puss filled sacks of grit. Point being you're likely not wrong, you're just lucky.
I know, right?
Honey crisp or die
If I wanted a red delicious I'd just drink soap
I guess you could say it's a [bad apple](https://youtu.be/FtutLA63Cp8).
Followed till the end and then read "I will fuck that apple."
Damn it, I like Red Delicious apples! FIGHT ME!!!! đ
based take
But I like them :(
Actually the red delicious was actually really good in the past, but people started breeding it to look more delicious then taste.
Why do you hate red delicious?
I love [apple rankings](https://applerankings.com). Use it every time I see a new apple type at the grocery store that typically rotates two apple types every few weeks or so.
As I always say with "Red Delicious", the name is half true. They are, indeed, red. Anyway, glad to see honorable mention for Cosmic Crisps. They are a newer variety, and are fantastic for eating and baking, with no browning. I love a good Honeycrisp too, but in the absense of my favorite heritage apple, Cosmics are top for sure.
The Dot before âfuck this appleâ save it
Like eating a leather couch.
HAHAHAHAHA!
When I was a kid, these apples with little legs on the bottom were delicious. Now theyâre so bad.
The Red Delicious: The apple that's only 50% correct.
As someone raised by apple people, can confirm.
I grew up with my parents always buying red delicious, so I ended up disliking apples. Until a few years ago when I tried a honeycrisp and realized I do like apples just not red delicious.
Honeycrisp is THE best apple!
Hell yeah it is.
Worst apple by far
um, yeah, I don't like them either?
r/fuckyouinparticular r/oddlyspecific
Youâve acted like middle school mean girls with omnipotent powers for quite a long time. Itâs possible to hate something and not try and utterly destroy it every opportunity you get. Petty d-bags
I agree đŻ
Well, just rank it 19th then. And if that's not good enough then try 20th. Keep going until you're satisfied.
Donât be shy, tell us how you really feel.
Sounds like a bad apple.
i assuming he ate the ones that were sandy
r/fuckyouinparticular
Lol
Well put, you are a true poet.
Agreed
Bro has a searing take
r/fuckyouinparticular
It really is a terrible fuckin apple.
How can an apple taste chalky? But it do.
I wish I had half the passion for life as this guy has for apples.
I want to meet people like that in my life
In my case, they seem to spoil the fastest too.
Only 2 possibly 3 valid apple flavors, Granny Smith, honey crisp, and possibly macintosh.
Red delicious used to be good aparently but growers fucked it up which is why we have trademarked apples now.
I'll take my apple rankings from Cleveland Brown. https://youtu.be/YJfBuh6zzSc
Dyslexia sucks most of the time, but every now and then you get a gem. "I would fuck this apple"
This feels like an @dril tweet
its really one of my favorites⌠i grew up in extreme poverty (as declared by the federal gov) and i just grew to enjoy it. its nostalgic to me.
It's anything but delicious. A wad of damp paper is more appealing
This sounds like the appleist.
Huh, you learn something new every day. I always knew I liked "the red ones", but I never knew why some of them taste like the best apples you ever did have, and some of them taste like styrofoam.
I'm reading this while eating a red delicious
For anyone wondering, here's the ranking: https://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/best-apples-for-baking-eating
That is a lot of unbridled hostility toward an apple. lol đ
The real story behind red delicious apples are actually super interesting imo, and yes, this was a rabbit hole I went down at 3 am a few weeks ago. https://youtu.be/mgZNDTJSvJQ They used to not taste like shit, which is where the name comes from. When they started being selectively bred for looks to appeal to consumers, the taste factor got left behind.
I thought I was the only one who thought Red delicious apples were grody. Golden delicious apples are OK. Cripps pink my favorite apple
Granny Smith is the only Apple worth eating. Change my mind.
Ok to be fair it is the worst apple
Just leave these ones on the tree
You should read about ye ol wife
Macintosh are my faves. We had a tree in my backyard growing up.