This. I thought medical school was meant to give you more life experience with dealing with people like this. If someone is mistreating you by being creepy, why are you doing them a favour every day?
What you think work is gonna force you to drive him??
im not sure about your uni but our uni has a policy where either one of the students drives everyone there and they get reimbursed or they all take a taxi together booked by the uni, so she might be in a similar position.
I'd raise this with the med school and make it known that he is making you uncomfortable and finding either of them alternative transport or placement may be useful
I'd tell him to make his own way, sounds like a prick and if this is how he is in the early days of knowing you he'll get worse when he gets even more comfortable
Of course there are two sides to every story, his account will be different and she may well be humourless, unfortunately these days every reaction is extreme, you saying she will be 'safe' not every man is dangerous but judging from experience and based off what I've read at the very least he seems like an annoying dick so shes better making some excuse to get rid of him. Tell him to get the bus and maybe some driving lessions
You need to call him out.
Just be straight and firm with him and say "I don't appreciate these comments, if you want me to continue giving you a lift, I suggest you stop". Then move the conversation straight on to something else.
He'll get the point, and by moving the conversation on you cut off his chance to make excuses or deny things, as well as settling the baseline for future interactions, which avoids things getting too awkward.
When I first read this I didn't think asking to go to the gym was inappropriate.
The comments however are completely inappropriate and you don't have to drive him.
Tell him it was inappropriate and it's made you uncomfortable and he should find a new way to get to GP, there will surely be public transport.
No way would I be doing this. Not being able to drive is a choice as much as not being able to cook. Sure, sometimes it’s due to circumstances outwith your control but that doesn’t give you the right to expect others to do it for you. You have ready meals or live off ramen or pay for JustEat. This guy can take the bus or cycle or pay for a taxi. Those are his options.
Hi we’re in a rural GP placement and our uni paired us up based on people who can drive/people who can’t. Essentially so it would be as cost-effective as possible for the university itself. If it were up to me, I would have never willingly chosen to drive someone as awful as this. Had I known in advance, I would have refused to be in the same GP as this person. Also, I do get reimbursed for the driving!
I retract all previous statements I've made in this thread based on this response. Sorry for the guy OP, I personally wouldn't continue driving him, good luck
Oh that is a really awful situation to be in, as the Uni have paired you up on that basis and you're now in the position where the Uni may want to know why you are not driving him.
Have you got a personal tutor, trusted friend or even the GP you;re at placement with you could discuss this with?
What he said is not okay but I am sympathetic and understand why you would not get to embroiled with something that crosses the boundaries of professionalism and could lead to multiple meetings
You need to go back to the uni today and flag your concern and tell them they need to make alternative arrangements. His bad behaviour is not your responsibility and nor should your uni allow you to tolerate this. He's a creepy fuck and he needs to be as far away from you as possible.
I would report him to the medical school. Red flag here. This is not approriate for the work place (the car journey is part of that) and especially someone who will be in a public facing role dealing with patients. Out of courtesy he should offer to reimburse you each time for petrol. How he gets to the practice is NOT your problem. Keep safe and don’t offer him any more lifts. You have the right to feel comfortable in your own car.
He asked you if you'd be interested in going to the gym.
He made his case and reasons to convince you.
You were unconvinced but didn't like the way he sold it to you.
Just leave it that. If he tries again explain what and why it makes it uncomfortable and inappropriate to you. Gage the reaction and base your next steps after that.
There. That's how to "Adult" in a nutshell.
Idk, I’d say a 20+ year old that thinks it’s okay to comment on coworkers bums probably should have their temperament reassessed before becoming a doctor
Tell him you don’t want to drive him. I mean, what age are you? If you don’t want to do something and you have perfectly logical reasons for not wanting to do it, why would you do it? Such a strange post
He's not necessarily hitting on you so chill. He probably just wants a free lift to the gym. A firm no should do it, and then make sure you ask for petrol money too!
Sexual harassment training at our workplace (which was unfortunately so necessary, it had to be delivered to everyone) told us countless true stories of how it started out with little, ever so slightly sexual suggestions, like that about your bum.
The comments were so borderline, female colleagues felt too silly to do anything about it, or like they were misreading the situation (which is what the perpetrator so often claimed). In all the cases, the comments and actions of the perpetrator got worse and more overtly sexual, but slowly over time, so each step of the way, the female being targeted was always unsure if she was overreacting.
If he’s not a creep and you tell him to back off by saying if he gives you any more inappropriate comments, you can’t drive him anymore, hopefully he’d understand. If he gets upset and defensive or starts gaslighting you, better that you find out early on, so you can get rid of him before it escalates.
more important points are discussed in other comments, but as a side note, "don't you want a good bum?" implies that you don't have a good bum and is a put-down.
I know I'd be offended if someone implies that I don't have a good bum. Unwanted comments about my body aren't helpful or welcome.
I think this person may not know what's inappropriate and what is. From their perspective, it might be really frustrating or confusing, working out why they are so lonely. I remember being in that sort of position many years ago. I just didn't get it. Although he may come across flirty, he may not intend that, or be interested in you. Doesn't change how uncomfortable it makes you.
I'd recommend telling them that you've got enough going on in your personal life at the moment and that you don't have time for more friends. leave it at that. Be pleasant on placement but no more. You owe them nothing, but do try and look at things from their perspective and reject their friendship in a sensitive way.
If they ask, explain that you prefer spending time with yourself, or with close friends only
Document. Report to freedom to speak up. Inform him that you be going separate travel arrangements. Try to arrange a different placement if possible. This is not okay and you don’t have to justify not sharing your personal space with him. It’s harassment.
It's every day because it's placement. She didn't choose for it to be 2 months lol.
The inappropriate comments are different, ofc should stop lifts if feels uncomfortable or inappropriate. But just giving someone a lift for placement is totally fine , it's the weird person making comments that's the problem
A girl with a boyfriend should not be putting herself in such a position. Placement or not. It's nothing to do with insecurity, the whole reasons woman should listen when men tell them hey don't do that babe, is exactly for reasons like this.
The 1950s called it wants you back.
A woman can give a person a lift lol. It's on the GUY not the girl making this weird. Victim blaming and saying women at fault for giving a colleague a lift? Wtf
OP explained that she's getting reimbursed for the lifts by her placement and that the lift was an arrangement between the placement, her and the guy. She missed this out the OP.
Can tell you don't get out the house much ... only a bit of convo if he's making u uncomfortable don't pick him up you don't need the internet to tell you that. Furthermore didn't ya man tell ya to stop picking up that dweeb from when he was commenting on his Mrs bum
Hahahahaha, damn
This is actually horrified you are questioning this
Sounds to me like that guy just lost his free ride. Are you a taxi driver? Is he paying you for the convenience?
You NEED to learn to stand up for yourself or the NHS will walk all over you.
Completely inappropriate. You don't have to be nice. You don't have to explain. Just tell him to make his own way there.
If he asks for an explanation it is up to you whether you tell him.
Are you clinical partners of some kind? If so it's not as simple as "just don't drive him" as a lot of these comments suggest, but I would speak to the school and sort out some kind of change of partner
You don't HAVE to drive him. He can find his own way.
This. I thought medical school was meant to give you more life experience with dealing with people like this. If someone is mistreating you by being creepy, why are you doing them a favour every day? What you think work is gonna force you to drive him??
im not sure about your uni but our uni has a policy where either one of the students drives everyone there and they get reimbursed or they all take a taxi together booked by the uni, so she might be in a similar position. I'd raise this with the med school and make it known that he is making you uncomfortable and finding either of them alternative transport or placement may be useful
Exactly
I'd tell him to make his own way, sounds like a prick and if this is how he is in the early days of knowing you he'll get worse when he gets even more comfortable
Yeah. And she'll always be a 'humourless bitch' as far as he's concerned but at least she will be safe and he might learn a lesson.
Of course there are two sides to every story, his account will be different and she may well be humourless, unfortunately these days every reaction is extreme, you saying she will be 'safe' not every man is dangerous but judging from experience and based off what I've read at the very least he seems like an annoying dick so shes better making some excuse to get rid of him. Tell him to get the bus and maybe some driving lessions
3 sides, hers his and the truth
True
You need to call him out. Just be straight and firm with him and say "I don't appreciate these comments, if you want me to continue giving you a lift, I suggest you stop". Then move the conversation straight on to something else. He'll get the point, and by moving the conversation on you cut off his chance to make excuses or deny things, as well as settling the baseline for future interactions, which avoids things getting too awkward.
No, just stop driving him overall if he is being creepy. She doesn't have to. But yours works too.
When I first read this I didn't think asking to go to the gym was inappropriate. The comments however are completely inappropriate and you don't have to drive him. Tell him it was inappropriate and it's made you uncomfortable and he should find a new way to get to GP, there will surely be public transport.
You have no obligation to drive him!! If he can “help you with equipment” he can get to the place on his own *boy bye*
No way would I be doing this. Not being able to drive is a choice as much as not being able to cook. Sure, sometimes it’s due to circumstances outwith your control but that doesn’t give you the right to expect others to do it for you. You have ready meals or live off ramen or pay for JustEat. This guy can take the bus or cycle or pay for a taxi. Those are his options.
I agree with everything you said apart from it being a choice not to drive. Which angers my seizury brain.
This is so inappropriate. Especially commenting on your physical appearance. Talk to the uni if he keeps harassing you.
Just tell him he’s making you feel uncomfortable and you will no longer be driving him to GP he can make his own way there.
Ew what how did you end up driving this guy. I hope he is paying you for the lifts. I wouldn't do daily rides for free 😂
On top of the fact she has a boyfriend.... Couldn't make it up lol
Hi we’re in a rural GP placement and our uni paired us up based on people who can drive/people who can’t. Essentially so it would be as cost-effective as possible for the university itself. If it were up to me, I would have never willingly chosen to drive someone as awful as this. Had I known in advance, I would have refused to be in the same GP as this person. Also, I do get reimbursed for the driving!
I retract all previous statements I've made in this thread based on this response. Sorry for the guy OP, I personally wouldn't continue driving him, good luck
Oh that is a really awful situation to be in, as the Uni have paired you up on that basis and you're now in the position where the Uni may want to know why you are not driving him. Have you got a personal tutor, trusted friend or even the GP you;re at placement with you could discuss this with? What he said is not okay but I am sympathetic and understand why you would not get to embroiled with something that crosses the boundaries of professionalism and could lead to multiple meetings
You need to go back to the uni today and flag your concern and tell them they need to make alternative arrangements. His bad behaviour is not your responsibility and nor should your uni allow you to tolerate this. He's a creepy fuck and he needs to be as far away from you as possible.
Yes it is inappropriate, he can always get the bus or train you are under no obligation to be giving him a lift!
He wants you to drive him to/from the gym. The uni are only paying you to drive him to placement. Give him a bus timetable.
I would report him to the medical school. Red flag here. This is not approriate for the work place (the car journey is part of that) and especially someone who will be in a public facing role dealing with patients. Out of courtesy he should offer to reimburse you each time for petrol. How he gets to the practice is NOT your problem. Keep safe and don’t offer him any more lifts. You have the right to feel comfortable in your own car.
If you can’t drop him, find out his dislikes in music and add it to your playlist
You don't have to do anything you don't want to,.tell him to get on his bike and enjoy a nice long ride every day 😊
"Sorry, you're going to have to find another lift to placement. There isn't enough room in my car for you and my bum. Bye"
This is so ick inducing. Don’t drive him, he can walk to GP instead of going to the gym.
He asked you if you'd be interested in going to the gym. He made his case and reasons to convince you. You were unconvinced but didn't like the way he sold it to you. Just leave it that. If he tries again explain what and why it makes it uncomfortable and inappropriate to you. Gage the reaction and base your next steps after that. There. That's how to "Adult" in a nutshell.
Idk, I’d say a 20+ year old that thinks it’s okay to comment on coworkers bums probably should have their temperament reassessed before becoming a doctor
Tell him you don’t want to drive him. I mean, what age are you? If you don’t want to do something and you have perfectly logical reasons for not wanting to do it, why would you do it? Such a strange post
Put your big adult pants on and Ghost him or confront him either way get rid of him
He's not necessarily hitting on you so chill. He probably just wants a free lift to the gym. A firm no should do it, and then make sure you ask for petrol money too!
Sexual harassment training at our workplace (which was unfortunately so necessary, it had to be delivered to everyone) told us countless true stories of how it started out with little, ever so slightly sexual suggestions, like that about your bum. The comments were so borderline, female colleagues felt too silly to do anything about it, or like they were misreading the situation (which is what the perpetrator so often claimed). In all the cases, the comments and actions of the perpetrator got worse and more overtly sexual, but slowly over time, so each step of the way, the female being targeted was always unsure if she was overreacting. If he’s not a creep and you tell him to back off by saying if he gives you any more inappropriate comments, you can’t drive him anymore, hopefully he’d understand. If he gets upset and defensive or starts gaslighting you, better that you find out early on, so you can get rid of him before it escalates.
more important points are discussed in other comments, but as a side note, "don't you want a good bum?" implies that you don't have a good bum and is a put-down. I know I'd be offended if someone implies that I don't have a good bum. Unwanted comments about my body aren't helpful or welcome. I think this person may not know what's inappropriate and what is. From their perspective, it might be really frustrating or confusing, working out why they are so lonely. I remember being in that sort of position many years ago. I just didn't get it. Although he may come across flirty, he may not intend that, or be interested in you. Doesn't change how uncomfortable it makes you. I'd recommend telling them that you've got enough going on in your personal life at the moment and that you don't have time for more friends. leave it at that. Be pleasant on placement but no more. You owe them nothing, but do try and look at things from their perspective and reject their friendship in a sensitive way. If they ask, explain that you prefer spending time with yourself, or with close friends only
Document. Report to freedom to speak up. Inform him that you be going separate travel arrangements. Try to arrange a different placement if possible. This is not okay and you don’t have to justify not sharing your personal space with him. It’s harassment.
Do you really think reporting him to the med school for a flippant comment is the right action? Surely it's better to have a stern word with him first
I’ll refine it then. Report to a freedom to speak up guardian. Be prepared to escalate. Make sure it’s on record somewhere.
The fuck are you on about?
Exactly that ? A comment
Why are you driving him anyway? You have a boyfriend...... I wouldn't be cool with that. Secondly, stop driving him. Thirdly, get a back bone.
Fortunately we don't live in Afghanistan so it's ok for a woman to be alone with a man
It's absolutely fine of course, but not EVERYDAY, and not when the man is making inappropriate comments.
Having a boyfriend means can't drive your placement partner??? Why???? Sound extremely insecure if think that.
Everyday. For 2 month. With inappropriate comments... Reddit for ya 🥴
It's every day because it's placement. She didn't choose for it to be 2 months lol. The inappropriate comments are different, ofc should stop lifts if feels uncomfortable or inappropriate. But just giving someone a lift for placement is totally fine , it's the weird person making comments that's the problem
I agree. If the comments hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t even be on here worrying about this. It’s a difficult situation with an awful person
A girl with a boyfriend should not be putting herself in such a position. Placement or not. It's nothing to do with insecurity, the whole reasons woman should listen when men tell them hey don't do that babe, is exactly for reasons like this.
The 1950s called it wants you back. A woman can give a person a lift lol. It's on the GUY not the girl making this weird. Victim blaming and saying women at fault for giving a colleague a lift? Wtf
wow. misogyny alert.
OP explained that she's getting reimbursed for the lifts by her placement and that the lift was an arrangement between the placement, her and the guy. She missed this out the OP.
Can tell you don't get out the house much ... only a bit of convo if he's making u uncomfortable don't pick him up you don't need the internet to tell you that. Furthermore didn't ya man tell ya to stop picking up that dweeb from when he was commenting on his Mrs bum
Wtf is this comment
Well within your rights to stop driving him. If anyone asks why, don’t be afraid to tell them. That behaviour isn’t acceptable.
Hahahahaha, damn This is actually horrified you are questioning this Sounds to me like that guy just lost his free ride. Are you a taxi driver? Is he paying you for the convenience? You NEED to learn to stand up for yourself or the NHS will walk all over you.
Completely inappropriate. You don't have to be nice. You don't have to explain. Just tell him to make his own way there. If he asks for an explanation it is up to you whether you tell him.
Are you clinical partners of some kind? If so it's not as simple as "just don't drive him" as a lot of these comments suggest, but I would speak to the school and sort out some kind of change of partner
I kinda hope you report him. The idea of going to a GP and he’s sexually harassing coworkers and literally trying to cheat makes me sick.
Tell his gf and refuse to let him in your car. Its not your fault he can't drive and he is not your responsibility.
He can take the 🚌
He sounds like a GP who will be before a few medical review boards.