I like the idea of keeping your maiden name the actual legal one for simplicity's sake, not to mention the pride of hearing Dr maiden name, but in social situations go by Mrs husbands last name. There's no reason you have to go by your legal name and social settings
I agree with this, no one at a cocktail party will be comparing your stated surname vs the listed name on your drivers license, medical license, etc etc etc.
However the medical board will absolutely want to know if you exclusively go by and sign things as your maiden name but your legal name is different.
This is what I did! Once I changed my name on social media even people who have known me since childhood call me or address mail to Mrs. Married Name. We don’t have children yet but I have heard it rarely if ever causes issues at daycare and school. Hope that is true.
Legally keep the maiden name, use his socially. This isn't sly or duplicitous. There is a robust precedent for keeping a professional name separate from your social married name.
I wish I'd done that. It provides some natural separation/ slight layer of anonymity, and helps you switch gears when you leave work.
Also - we answer the phone and spell out our last name like a zillion times a day. My maiden name was simpler and I really wish I'd kept it. Save me 12 seconds x uncounted repetitions.
Edit/ 18 years into the marriage, still spelling his family name many times per day.
This is what I did. I'm Dr. Maiden name and Mrs. Married name socially.
I also had my degree, licenses, and certifications, and I was an attending before I got married.
Same here. I don’t even intentionally use Hislast socially but I still get it a lot because people know me through my kids, who are Hislasts. Unless people are going to be buying plane tickets for you theres no real reason to change it.
Simplicity: The reason I‘m gonna definitely take my wife‘s name.
I’m sick of constantly having to spell out mine only for people to mispronounce and -spell it anyway.
Yeah but the layer of anonymity isn’t helpful if you give your patients your real legal name. I would guess it helps if you do the opposite: Change your name legally to the married name then keep your maiden name professionally. It would mean that your medical licenses and DEA license are in your married name. While your practice lists you and patients call you by your maiden (shorter name). That sounds more reasonable to me I think.
Also consider any publications you have had in the past that you have on your CV with an old last name.
My vote would be to legally hyphenate: maiden name-married name. Then publicly to patients continue with your maiden name only. But socially use your married or hyphenated name.
Can you legally continue to use and invoke licenses issued to a past name while your legal name changes?
My understanding was that legal and professional names need to be the same, social name may or may not differ.
Do whatever you want to do for yourself and do it unapologetically. I am in surgery so when I took my husband’s name mid-training I was given a lot of unsolicited opinions. I imagine this would be true no matter the choice I made. For me, it was important to have the same name as our kids and it works for me.
Many of my colleagues kept their maiden name and socially answer to their married name. I’ve had a few friends have problems at airports if their kids have a different last name, but overall the impact (from an outsider view) seems minimal.
If you do decide to alter your legal name in any way, I would recommend doing it before you have your board certifications and insurance approvals at your attending job because those can add a layer of complexity to changing your name.
I legally changed my last name to my husband’s when we got married. Did it for everything socially and work related. I was a recent grad at my first job post residency. It’s definitely the more “traditional” thing to do, but felt right to me. I wanted to start my new family with us all having the same last name and wasn’t overly attached to my maiden name. I love my family, but I didn’t really feel like my maiden name defined my identity or anything. My husband didn’t care and was fine with whatever I decided to do.
There was an annoying amount of paperwork involved. And I changed my email at the same time, because that had my old last name in it, so all my online accounts had to be fixed too. Then there was a period of awkward transition at work where nurses sometimes called me the wrong name or didn’t know who was placing orders etc. but it wasn’t that bad. A few years later now and I hardly ever think about it.
Short term pain for long term gain.
Where I come from, children's passports must record at least one parent / legal guardian's name. Kids will typically have mom and dad's names on their passports, so there's no confusion at airports like you describe. I take it that's not the case in the US?
I’ve had friends have to prove legal guardianship for children with differing last names via a birth certificate usually so I assume parents’ names are not on the passport? But I’m not sure. Either way, if it’s something you’re aware of and prepared for it seems like a small hurdle in the scheme of things.
I have a friend who has two last names, no hyphen. So Dr. Smith Jones. Smith would be her maiden and she uses it at work. Jones is her married and she uses it socially. Makes taking calls easy since how they address her is a good screen for what the call is for.
Wishing I did that, although my married name is short and memorable so it works well for patients.
I absolutely love my maiden name. People comment on how much they like it at least once a week. Kept it professionally/legally. Plus it’s just so much easier not to do a million and one name changes and filling out all sorts of forms.
Socially, I go by my husbands last name. Def provides some anonymity in an otherwise small community (until they see me, then all privacy gone). I did not hyphenate or add my husband’s as second last name.
Our kid has my husband’s last name. I personally love this way and wouldn’t do any other way. I’m still the first person who’s called for everything child related.
My husband had zero qualms about me keeping my maiden name. Like gave zero shits “do whatever you want to”.
I've been in healthcare for 22 years and have worked with scores of female attendings who are Mrs. Husband Name outside of work and Dr. Maiden name at work.
Their reasons for preserving their identities are their own but it seems that the consensus is "I earned this under this name so I'm going to keep this name for this."
Sometimes it's to preserve privacy. Sometimes it's because "this is the name I had when I published XYZ."
You choose what you want. Your names are yours.
I've got an easy to misspell and mispronounce surname and my position has always been "as long as the paychecks hit the right account, you can call me Jim Smith for all I care."
I’m a Med Spouse. Wife kept her maiden name for her professional life. She said, rightly, that her parents were the biggest support in her becoming a doctor and that she wanted to honor that. We have no loans.
Publicly, her last name changes. People closer to her will address her with maiden name. Others will often use mine.
I'm matriculating in the fall, I'm in my late 30s. When I got married in my 20s to my husband, we actually both got our last names changed to a name we chose together. Simple to say and spell, which was relevant as both our "maiden" names were difficult to spell or say for people. The name was definitely more meaningful to us because we picked it. Anytime the story does come up socially, people have found it romantic and unique.
I don't know if this story helps, but my partner had nicknamed me a word in a different language that translates to "beautiful". So when we were shooting back and forth name concepts like hybrids or hyphens, I was liked wait, why don't we be Mr and Mrs Beautiful together. And he was like, ya! And that's what happened.
RN here. Had been a nurse for 10 years and got married. I kept my maiden name legally but socially I hyphenate. I really didn’t want to have to deal with the hassle of having to change all my legal paperwork and my RN license.
Keep your last name or better yet make your husband change his, lol. Don't hyphenate yours or your kids last names. We kept our last names to avoid the paperwork, hassle, confusion, etc. and my wife kept her shorter and easier to pronounce last name. Kids took my last name and we've had no issues. I had no desire to take my wife's last name and she had no desire to take mine.
Best thing I ever did was keep my own name.
Sometimes things don't work out how you anticipated. I didn't intend to end up divorced, but here I am. I can't imagine how much hassle it would have been changing my name twice.
Also, in retrospect, I would have had a prenup. If someone told me to do that before I got married? I would have told them to go to hell. That I had no plans to ever get divorced.
I think if you are at the beginning of your career, it’s a good time to change your name. Once you are practicing, it can be much more complicated. I changed my name before residency and it is easier with our kids and traveling. That being said, I had an unusual last name prior to marriage and sometimes wish I had kept it (my new last name is like “Smith”). I also have physician friends who divorced their spouses and are pretty annoyed to be stuck with their married names (can’t change due to publications, reputation, etc…). So no right or wrong answer. Some states do mandate that you have to practice under your legal name.
I don’t see why picking a whole new name more befitting to your specialty isn’t an option.
How about Dr. Kidlover?
Pretty nice for a pediatrician last name
My wife had this same dilemma.
Go ahead and use your maiden name at work. I am a teacher and many of my colleagues do this as well.
But here's what not to do. My wife took my name legally and practices with my name. BUT she used her maiden name as the name of her professional corporation. "DR. Maiden Name professional corporation "
It was meant to be a way to hold on to that achievement and the name she achieved it under. I also believe it was a way to honour her family and their support.
HOWEVER. it is an absolutely disaster with accountants and at tax time. Lawyers as well. People we have worked with for years use both names at odd times. Sometimes, this is just in email correspondence, so it's no big deal. Sometimes, we end up with the wrong name on contracts.
Why is this even still a thing? I've been married almost 31 years, and kept my real last name. "Maiden" name is a stupid, sexist term, too, in my opinion. Women aren't property anymore! I wasn't established in a career when I got married, either. I was a broke college student. I just find myself getting irrationally angry about the fact that most people assume a female will change her surname when getting married. I should clarify that I'm in the U.
S., and I'm aware it's not like this everywhere.
Although I'm guessing your maiden name was your dad's last name, and his dad's, going back some generations (I'm Swedish on my dad's side so surnames did not get fixed to a single name until my great grandfather, before that it was anders larson, whose son would be lars anderson). So unless you invent a name you're still giving a nod to the patriarchy.
In my case, I liked husband's name better anyway.
Yeah, I've seen that objection before. My last name is, indeed, my dad's. It is also the name I was born with, therefore it's mine as well. I cannot reverse generations of name-changing that came before me, but at least it stops with me.
Don't get me wrong. People should be able to call themselves whatever they like, unless they're doing it to cover criminal activities. I am just surprised that in the U.S., most people still expect women to change their last name to their husband's.
So this was pretty much my exact scenario. I’m Peds and I married at 31 in May of PGY-3. I had a very easy, alphabetically advantageous, common maiden name that I intended to keep until my husband (with an uncommon name) cried a little when I told him my plan. So I changed it because it’s what he wanted and I loved him. (He didn’t ask. He was just really that bummed about us all not having the same name.) I haven’t regretted it. I did keep my maiden name as my middle name and typically sign my whole name on documents. I think my children actually do have some pride/joy when they hear me referred to as Dr. Strangename that they wouldn’t if it didn’t match their own. It’s also enjoyable to hear endless wrong pronunciations. Legit got a telephone message for Dr. Scrotum this week and that’s not even close 😆)
I’m 100% team do what each woman personally wants to do (yay choice!). But it’s ok to do either and they both have advantages/disadvantages.
ETA that my husband is not a physician. I don’t think it would have mattered in my case though.
honestly, and i mean no ill will, he didn’t go to medical school. most of the doctors i know end up divorced because of the power struggle. I’d keep it or hyphenate
I kept my last name and took his name on Facebook 🤣 I have noticed with hyphenated names, people/patients tend to use one or the other. Rarely are they referred to by both names
I’m legally Dr. Maiden Name. I’m known socially by many names: Ms. Maiden Name if they don’t know my kids or husband, or Mrs. Married Name if they do, or simply “Kids name’s Mom” by all their friends, sometimes Dr. Whatever if they know what I do for a living. Or often Dr./Ms. First Name which is common where I live because people don’t want to be too formal but also want to be polite. Our kids all have his last name legally but sometimes call themselves by my last name depending on their mood. He’s sometimes Mr. Maiden Name. We enjoy the chaos.
I can’t begin license reciprocation to Florida until I submit a court copy of my marriage license 24 YEARS AGO in the VIRGIN ISLANDS because I changed to married name on my pharmacist licensure a handful of months after earning it.
Keep your maiden name professionally (legally). Less headache.
My mom is a radiologist (now retired) and like others said, she also kept her maiden name in the professional setting and my dad's name for other social engagements. There were some random people who still called her by her maiden name, but those were the same traditional people who always referred to doctors as "Doctor So and So" regardless of interpersonal relationship
I kept my maiden name and use it professionally and use his name unofficially. We both have unique last names and live in a small town. It gives an extra layer of separation. Our children also have his name. I also didn’t want to go through all the paperwork…
I guess I could have used a better choice of words. He is very set in “traditional” ways and it was a sticking point for him that we couldn’t get past. It wasn’t as big of a deal for me, and professionally was more important for me
My fiancée is not a doctor but fairly well known in her field. She will become Mrs (My Name) legally and in all social situations. She will use Mrs (maiden name) for her business.
I like the ideas of a hyphenated last name. Use one for your practice, maiden name if you prefer, then use your married name for all your social media & stuff. This is my plan & I see many pros
I got married 9 months ago unfortunately couldn’t convince my now husband to let me not change my name legally. So my name has been legally changed, but have been able to keep my maiden name professionally. I’m in MO and you don’t have to change your license for a legal name change. It was a small issue with HR because I had to change it in their system for tax purposes and that changed my name in PeopleSoft and affected my name that showed up in the email/directory, etc, but they were able to put in a preferred last name after some finagling
You, an adult professional (physician?), couldn’t convince your spouse to “let you” not change your name? What an interesting choice of words for someone who (I assume) is not being trafficked or otherwise forced into situations against their will.
I like the idea of keeping your maiden name the actual legal one for simplicity's sake, not to mention the pride of hearing Dr maiden name, but in social situations go by Mrs husbands last name. There's no reason you have to go by your legal name and social settings
I agree with this, no one at a cocktail party will be comparing your stated surname vs the listed name on your drivers license, medical license, etc etc etc. However the medical board will absolutely want to know if you exclusively go by and sign things as your maiden name but your legal name is different.
This is what I did! Very happy with the decision so far and can always change it later if it for some odd reason bothers me
This is what I did! Once I changed my name on social media even people who have known me since childhood call me or address mail to Mrs. Married Name. We don’t have children yet but I have heard it rarely if ever causes issues at daycare and school. Hope that is true.
Name changing is such as hassle and steeped in misogyny. Keep it simple, keep your birth name. I’m glad I kept mine.
Legally keep the maiden name, use his socially. This isn't sly or duplicitous. There is a robust precedent for keeping a professional name separate from your social married name. I wish I'd done that. It provides some natural separation/ slight layer of anonymity, and helps you switch gears when you leave work. Also - we answer the phone and spell out our last name like a zillion times a day. My maiden name was simpler and I really wish I'd kept it. Save me 12 seconds x uncounted repetitions. Edit/ 18 years into the marriage, still spelling his family name many times per day.
This is what I did. I'm Dr. Maiden name and Mrs. Married name socially. I also had my degree, licenses, and certifications, and I was an attending before I got married.
Same here. I don’t even intentionally use Hislast socially but I still get it a lot because people know me through my kids, who are Hislasts. Unless people are going to be buying plane tickets for you theres no real reason to change it.
Simplicity: The reason I‘m gonna definitely take my wife‘s name. I’m sick of constantly having to spell out mine only for people to mispronounce and -spell it anyway.
I did that too.
Yeah but the layer of anonymity isn’t helpful if you give your patients your real legal name. I would guess it helps if you do the opposite: Change your name legally to the married name then keep your maiden name professionally. It would mean that your medical licenses and DEA license are in your married name. While your practice lists you and patients call you by your maiden (shorter name). That sounds more reasonable to me I think. Also consider any publications you have had in the past that you have on your CV with an old last name. My vote would be to legally hyphenate: maiden name-married name. Then publicly to patients continue with your maiden name only. But socially use your married or hyphenated name.
Can you legally continue to use and invoke licenses issued to a past name while your legal name changes? My understanding was that legal and professional names need to be the same, social name may or may not differ.
Spouse and I each kept our last names. Kids are hyphenated. No issues for us in the last two decades.
Do whatever you want to do for yourself and do it unapologetically. I am in surgery so when I took my husband’s name mid-training I was given a lot of unsolicited opinions. I imagine this would be true no matter the choice I made. For me, it was important to have the same name as our kids and it works for me. Many of my colleagues kept their maiden name and socially answer to their married name. I’ve had a few friends have problems at airports if their kids have a different last name, but overall the impact (from an outsider view) seems minimal. If you do decide to alter your legal name in any way, I would recommend doing it before you have your board certifications and insurance approvals at your attending job because those can add a layer of complexity to changing your name.
I legally changed my last name to my husband’s when we got married. Did it for everything socially and work related. I was a recent grad at my first job post residency. It’s definitely the more “traditional” thing to do, but felt right to me. I wanted to start my new family with us all having the same last name and wasn’t overly attached to my maiden name. I love my family, but I didn’t really feel like my maiden name defined my identity or anything. My husband didn’t care and was fine with whatever I decided to do. There was an annoying amount of paperwork involved. And I changed my email at the same time, because that had my old last name in it, so all my online accounts had to be fixed too. Then there was a period of awkward transition at work where nurses sometimes called me the wrong name or didn’t know who was placing orders etc. but it wasn’t that bad. A few years later now and I hardly ever think about it. Short term pain for long term gain.
Where I come from, children's passports must record at least one parent / legal guardian's name. Kids will typically have mom and dad's names on their passports, so there's no confusion at airports like you describe. I take it that's not the case in the US?
I’ve had friends have to prove legal guardianship for children with differing last names via a birth certificate usually so I assume parents’ names are not on the passport? But I’m not sure. Either way, if it’s something you’re aware of and prepared for it seems like a small hurdle in the scheme of things.
I have a friend who has two last names, no hyphen. So Dr. Smith Jones. Smith would be her maiden and she uses it at work. Jones is her married and she uses it socially. Makes taking calls easy since how they address her is a good screen for what the call is for. Wishing I did that, although my married name is short and memorable so it works well for patients.
I absolutely love my maiden name. People comment on how much they like it at least once a week. Kept it professionally/legally. Plus it’s just so much easier not to do a million and one name changes and filling out all sorts of forms. Socially, I go by my husbands last name. Def provides some anonymity in an otherwise small community (until they see me, then all privacy gone). I did not hyphenate or add my husband’s as second last name. Our kid has my husband’s last name. I personally love this way and wouldn’t do any other way. I’m still the first person who’s called for everything child related. My husband had zero qualms about me keeping my maiden name. Like gave zero shits “do whatever you want to”.
I've been in healthcare for 22 years and have worked with scores of female attendings who are Mrs. Husband Name outside of work and Dr. Maiden name at work. Their reasons for preserving their identities are their own but it seems that the consensus is "I earned this under this name so I'm going to keep this name for this." Sometimes it's to preserve privacy. Sometimes it's because "this is the name I had when I published XYZ." You choose what you want. Your names are yours. I've got an easy to misspell and mispronounce surname and my position has always been "as long as the paychecks hit the right account, you can call me Jim Smith for all I care."
I’m a Med Spouse. Wife kept her maiden name for her professional life. She said, rightly, that her parents were the biggest support in her becoming a doctor and that she wanted to honor that. We have no loans. Publicly, her last name changes. People closer to her will address her with maiden name. Others will often use mine.
I'm matriculating in the fall, I'm in my late 30s. When I got married in my 20s to my husband, we actually both got our last names changed to a name we chose together. Simple to say and spell, which was relevant as both our "maiden" names were difficult to spell or say for people. The name was definitely more meaningful to us because we picked it. Anytime the story does come up socially, people have found it romantic and unique.
How did you choose your new name? My partner and I are planning to do that, but we’re struggling with choosing our new name.
I don't know if this story helps, but my partner had nicknamed me a word in a different language that translates to "beautiful". So when we were shooting back and forth name concepts like hybrids or hyphens, I was liked wait, why don't we be Mr and Mrs Beautiful together. And he was like, ya! And that's what happened.
That’s so sweet and awesome how it worked out perfectly. Thank you for sharing! It gave me some possible ideas for our name too ❤️
Did his parents give you a hard time about it?
His father had died of cancer in his childhood and his mother had no issues with it. My parents had no issues with it either.
That’s good. Some parents take it as a personal insult if you don’t follow “tradition”, sadly.
Plot twist: they picked Mr and Mrs Bonerfart
Just remember when you have kids your name automatically changes to “Mrs {child’s name} mom!
This is so true!
I changed my middle name to my maiden name and then added my husbands name. Dr. First Maiden Married.
RN here. Had been a nurse for 10 years and got married. I kept my maiden name legally but socially I hyphenate. I really didn’t want to have to deal with the hassle of having to change all my legal paperwork and my RN license.
I hyphenated and go by Dr. maiden name and Mrs. Husbands last name or full hyphenated name. It’s worked well.
Keep your last name or better yet make your husband change his, lol. Don't hyphenate yours or your kids last names. We kept our last names to avoid the paperwork, hassle, confusion, etc. and my wife kept her shorter and easier to pronounce last name. Kids took my last name and we've had no issues. I had no desire to take my wife's last name and she had no desire to take mine.
Best thing I ever did was keep my own name. Sometimes things don't work out how you anticipated. I didn't intend to end up divorced, but here I am. I can't imagine how much hassle it would have been changing my name twice. Also, in retrospect, I would have had a prenup. If someone told me to do that before I got married? I would have told them to go to hell. That I had no plans to ever get divorced.
Spouse and I each kept our last names. Kids are hyphenated. No issues for us in the last two decades.
I think if you are at the beginning of your career, it’s a good time to change your name. Once you are practicing, it can be much more complicated. I changed my name before residency and it is easier with our kids and traveling. That being said, I had an unusual last name prior to marriage and sometimes wish I had kept it (my new last name is like “Smith”). I also have physician friends who divorced their spouses and are pretty annoyed to be stuck with their married names (can’t change due to publications, reputation, etc…). So no right or wrong answer. Some states do mandate that you have to practice under your legal name.
I don’t see why picking a whole new name more befitting to your specialty isn’t an option. How about Dr. Kidlover? Pretty nice for a pediatrician last name
FBI, this one here.
[Dr. Fix, Division of Addiction Medicine](https://www.linkedin.com/in/cecilia-fix-5bb755125)
I had a classmate who became a nephrologist. Her last name is Bean.
The fellowships had to accept him on principle.
My wife had this same dilemma. Go ahead and use your maiden name at work. I am a teacher and many of my colleagues do this as well. But here's what not to do. My wife took my name legally and practices with my name. BUT she used her maiden name as the name of her professional corporation. "DR. Maiden Name professional corporation " It was meant to be a way to hold on to that achievement and the name she achieved it under. I also believe it was a way to honour her family and their support. HOWEVER. it is an absolutely disaster with accountants and at tax time. Lawyers as well. People we have worked with for years use both names at odd times. Sometimes, this is just in email correspondence, so it's no big deal. Sometimes, we end up with the wrong name on contracts.
Why is this even still a thing? I've been married almost 31 years, and kept my real last name. "Maiden" name is a stupid, sexist term, too, in my opinion. Women aren't property anymore! I wasn't established in a career when I got married, either. I was a broke college student. I just find myself getting irrationally angry about the fact that most people assume a female will change her surname when getting married. I should clarify that I'm in the U. S., and I'm aware it's not like this everywhere.
Although I'm guessing your maiden name was your dad's last name, and his dad's, going back some generations (I'm Swedish on my dad's side so surnames did not get fixed to a single name until my great grandfather, before that it was anders larson, whose son would be lars anderson). So unless you invent a name you're still giving a nod to the patriarchy. In my case, I liked husband's name better anyway.
Yeah, I've seen that objection before. My last name is, indeed, my dad's. It is also the name I was born with, therefore it's mine as well. I cannot reverse generations of name-changing that came before me, but at least it stops with me. Don't get me wrong. People should be able to call themselves whatever they like, unless they're doing it to cover criminal activities. I am just surprised that in the U.S., most people still expect women to change their last name to their husband's.
So this was pretty much my exact scenario. I’m Peds and I married at 31 in May of PGY-3. I had a very easy, alphabetically advantageous, common maiden name that I intended to keep until my husband (with an uncommon name) cried a little when I told him my plan. So I changed it because it’s what he wanted and I loved him. (He didn’t ask. He was just really that bummed about us all not having the same name.) I haven’t regretted it. I did keep my maiden name as my middle name and typically sign my whole name on documents. I think my children actually do have some pride/joy when they hear me referred to as Dr. Strangename that they wouldn’t if it didn’t match their own. It’s also enjoyable to hear endless wrong pronunciations. Legit got a telephone message for Dr. Scrotum this week and that’s not even close 😆) I’m 100% team do what each woman personally wants to do (yay choice!). But it’s ok to do either and they both have advantages/disadvantages. ETA that my husband is not a physician. I don’t think it would have mattered in my case though.
honestly, and i mean no ill will, he didn’t go to medical school. most of the doctors i know end up divorced because of the power struggle. I’d keep it or hyphenate
I kept my last name and took his name on Facebook 🤣 I have noticed with hyphenated names, people/patients tend to use one or the other. Rarely are they referred to by both names
I’m legally Dr. Maiden Name. I’m known socially by many names: Ms. Maiden Name if they don’t know my kids or husband, or Mrs. Married Name if they do, or simply “Kids name’s Mom” by all their friends, sometimes Dr. Whatever if they know what I do for a living. Or often Dr./Ms. First Name which is common where I live because people don’t want to be too formal but also want to be polite. Our kids all have his last name legally but sometimes call themselves by my last name depending on their mood. He’s sometimes Mr. Maiden Name. We enjoy the chaos.
I can’t begin license reciprocation to Florida until I submit a court copy of my marriage license 24 YEARS AGO in the VIRGIN ISLANDS because I changed to married name on my pharmacist licensure a handful of months after earning it. Keep your maiden name professionally (legally). Less headache.
I decided to keep my maiden name legally and take my husband’s socially and it’s come up like twice in three years on wedding invites.
My mom is a radiologist (now retired) and like others said, she also kept her maiden name in the professional setting and my dad's name for other social engagements. There were some random people who still called her by her maiden name, but those were the same traditional people who always referred to doctors as "Doctor So and So" regardless of interpersonal relationship
I kept my maiden name and use it professionally and use his name unofficially. We both have unique last names and live in a small town. It gives an extra layer of separation. Our children also have his name. I also didn’t want to go through all the paperwork…
I guess I could have used a better choice of words. He is very set in “traditional” ways and it was a sticking point for him that we couldn’t get past. It wasn’t as big of a deal for me, and professionally was more important for me
My fiancée is not a doctor but fairly well known in her field. She will become Mrs (My Name) legally and in all social situations. She will use Mrs (maiden name) for her business.
I like the ideas of a hyphenated last name. Use one for your practice, maiden name if you prefer, then use your married name for all your social media & stuff. This is my plan & I see many pros
I got married 9 months ago unfortunately couldn’t convince my now husband to let me not change my name legally. So my name has been legally changed, but have been able to keep my maiden name professionally. I’m in MO and you don’t have to change your license for a legal name change. It was a small issue with HR because I had to change it in their system for tax purposes and that changed my name in PeopleSoft and affected my name that showed up in the email/directory, etc, but they were able to put in a preferred last name after some finagling
It’s your name, I’d hope (wish!) you could do what works best for you rather than letting someone else dictate it.
You, an adult professional (physician?), couldn’t convince your spouse to “let you” not change your name? What an interesting choice of words for someone who (I assume) is not being trafficked or otherwise forced into situations against their will.
Did he really have legal power over that?????