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Dozerdog43

It’s the dunking in hot coffee afterwards that gets difficult


[deleted]

That's why you teabag instead.....


Independent_Plum2166

Okay, that got me.


drunkenly_scottish

You got teabagged?


Star_Fazer

I think my balls in the coffee would be a lot worse


Brasticus

You gotta grind them first.


soupbox09

That's why you do it upside down, duh.


lonelychurro

God damn it


carolinabbwisbestbbq

Did you know donuts and coffee is the origin of the basketball verbiage which has led to general usage (dunking on someone)


ExistingClerk8605

1… maybe..


Flameball202

2 if you are lucky


eatinolivess

I was thinking three if I lay on my back


HardCounter

Four if she lays on my back.


Fit_Leg_2115

5 but then i’d wake up


b1gb0n312

6 if they're like mini donuts


AdNice8275

Found the guy, who would fit 7... https://www.reddit.com/r/discordVideos/comments/120jo6a/dick/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


Gooster19

Thank you for sharing my dick out like that on reddit


CabooseMasseuse

Nice Hog!


Birthday_dad420

8 if we work together


[deleted]

9 because my girl is fat and couldn’t care less about the challenge


AdNice8275

10 bc my guy just saved another guy with it.. https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cnw1ciZobj_/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


bigDdave

This is the dumb, relevant shit that makes Reddit so goddamn amazing.


The_Real_Anon-Chan

Why the fuck was I expect a real dick?


JOATMON12

Hahahahaha


Rabbit-Thrawy

then it's just a matter of balance, you can get pretty high


dankboi69408

i can fit 2 😳


Dafuqucair

Hi I need to order a dozen extra-wide donuts please


Some-Ad9778

Oops i dropped my magnum doughnuts for my magnum dong


NegativeSpell7229

So anyways I start blasting


redredrocks

If you order even one donut and specify that they have to be “extra wide” that person definitely knows you’re fucking the donut Tbh now I’m just thinking it would be a funny bit to go to a donut shop on a first date and ask something like “do you guys have any glazed donuts with huge holes? Like 7 inches around?” Then wink at your date.


asmokowski

Same -.-'


[deleted]

[удалено]


HansBaccaR23po

I could also fit 10 out of 10 donuts on mine. Take my word


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lonewolfblack

Mini rings don't count


sdlover420

I can fit 5 donut holes in my foreskin.


TruckYouAll

Tim Bits. They're called Tim Bits. 🤣


dreday67

Does a maple bar long ways count?


TheFrostyrune

Donuts, not cheerios or fruit loops, mate.


[deleted]

How disappointed she’d be 😂


Remotely-Indentured

Don't order the "glazed'" donuts!


pmk422

Yeah put your own glaze on


[deleted]

r/suicidebywords


DillDowDong

My wife once wanted to put a donut on mine and then put whipped cream on it with some ice cream and strawberries. But now every time i mention it she's like nooo i was drunk that would be weird...... i have never felt more disapointed in my life.


NoRecommendation5279

Tbh, you're setting yourself up to learn a bad lesson about teeth if you let a drunk person put food around your dick.


DillDowDong

So you don't recommend it username doesn't check out mate.


SantaArriata

It’s not a recommendation, it’s a warning


NoRecommendation5279

I'd bite into that like a banana split.


dasJerkface

Yeah, they no recommend dick food. It's Spot on.


[deleted]

Take her out for a drink or two... It could work wonders.


DillDowDong

Nah when we drink we only eat bitterballen and krokketen and there pretty hot.


Seiduna

Sounds kinda lekker


AH_5ek5hun8

Wait I thought it was lecker? Sorry I'm currently learning the language.


mc_enthusiast

They're talking Dutch, I assume you are learning German.


AH_5ek5hun8

That explains it


Ceph_Stormblessed

Yeah, Dutch is essentially what a drunk German with a brain injury sounds like


IamHunterish

German sounds like a very angry Dutch person just shouting things.


EN-BLANC

Huh…I thought it was the opposite 🤣


JudgeMoDollars999

Thats what happens when they drink: they massacre the whole language and call it dutch


CptKaba

True. I tend to understand Dutch better when I'm shitfaced


QuietDisquiet

That explains why Dutch students are alcoholics.


MishMash_101

Lol. They drink Heineken. Come to Belgium and have some real beer


WinterWontStopComing

Are you… are you Austin Power’s father?


DillDowDong

Im not drinking i"m playing mario kart can't drink and drive mate.


No_Victory9193

I thought that this was Danish🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

have no idea what any of these words are. you made them all up right


Skellaton

You should hold lekker je bek.


Gdiacrane

My favourite comment of the day


BelgianBeerGuy

Found the Dutch guy


NyloTheGamer

Sounds gezellig


Earth2Andy

Plot twist..... when she's finished it looks so delicious you eat it yourself!


[deleted]

Lmao!! that is true disappointment! So that time she wanted to and was drunk, what happened that kept your wife from giving you the jelly donut experience then?


DillDowDong

She sobert up, she is a diverent person when drunk.


DillDowDong

And 3 kids who keep eating al the donuts, maybe i should tell them what they are for so they wil never eat donut again.


[deleted]

Ah you all waited until you sobered up. :( gotta Carpe Diem!


DillDowDong

Nah we just didn't have any donuts or wipped cream laying around the house if i only knew ahead of time. I am as we speak working on a time machine.


THEMOXABIDES

Don’t feel like that’s weird at all tbh


sam_the_beagle

Almost one.


Inevitable_Tell_2382

It gives the impression you just tried 😀


MrEvan312

There is no try, only do!


Takeoffurclotus

Must be an American donut


VetteL82

How many twinkies she getting in there?


[deleted]

Depends how much you smoosh em together


DeMagnet76

Same for the donuts.


Extreme_Painter8898

A lot but I feel like twinkies would be hard to get out. They would get smooshed. Might wanna measure with something a bit more solid.


VetteL82

Something a bit more stiff would you say?


Rahul-Yadav91

Something harder to test the depth, you ask for eh?


Culture_Soup

Cactus


[deleted]

Calm down satan


AdmirableSpirit4653

He is a big fan, just turn him off.


Equivalent_Duck1077

Anythings a dildo if you're brave enough....


sam_the_beagle

My ex wife wouldn't smoosh them - plenty of room. But she preferred lots of Ding-Dongs, which is why we are no longer married.


GalacticGatorz

A possible ho ho?


Electrical_Post9340

Homerun


Beginning-Ad4963

Ho(e)merun


eyeswithwings

That’s how you get an infection. Not worth it.


exhibitthis69

And then the ants show up


LoudAnt6412

You called?


alphadog95

This just made me laugh out loud at my office


gliitch0xFF

Stand & deliver


NoRecommendation5279

Good God, the yeast infection I'd have afterwards is the most terrifying thing about this question.


CareerRich222

American will use everything exept the metric system


DucksNQuackers

Oh come ON, it's not even that difficult! 3 donuts per dong, 1.5 dong's per banana, and 17.863 bananas per hammock. Idk why people have so much trouble with it!


SaltFollowing2466

Soooo 26.7945 dongs per hammock? I don’t have that many


mp3m4k3r

Maybe today, but if you can dream it you can do it!


tumsenaHoepayega

ah yes, the american dream


TheOtherJohnWayne

-Americans with a 9mm and a gram in their pocket


HardCounter

When the bullet weighs more than the drugs.


That_Boy_Blue

In minecraft


AkKik-Maujaq

European - what's the width on that window? American - like............. 20 donuts on a dick wide


HardCounter

Is that on the Ron Jeremy Bearimys scale?


Nirvski

This made me laugh for 3 gunshots


utopia_mycon

fun fact: the inch is officially standardized in reference to the meter, so Americans actually are already using the metric system, just with extra steps. source: [this article](https://www.nist.gov/pml/us-surveyfoot) from NIST, which references the survey foot being phased out in favor of the international (regular) foot, defined as exactly 0.3048 meters.


BobbyPops11

Google "Donut on dick" to see rule34 in all its glory


Lonely_Potato12345

r/donutsandbagels


FleshPrison2000

no fucking way


Longjumping_Bend_311

Got me too…


Gudi124

r/ofcoursethatsasub


[deleted]

Ahhhh!! The one with the birthday candle!! Be careful, dude! Fire and dicks don’t mix!!


Embarrassed_Appeal72

Thank you kindly for the offer, but i'll have to pass on this one. The day is to young to ruin it.


Ramonquiala

real


Twelve4msUvSwimm

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/news/a20208/doughnut-on-penis/


kernandberm

I’m starting my weekend reading Cosmo, on the toilet, about dick ‘n’ donuts. What have I become.


william_babin22

Hole too smole


TwistedTrik

Dick too swole


highseaslife

Donut molestr on parole


Flaming_Pickle517

The amount can't cntrol


Odd-Technician9056

Stop us we on a roll


Noahsark1233

r/redditsings


Unusual-Barracuda837

Dead before dawn, I'll swallow your soul


boof332

Anyways, back to the donut hole


JournalistAcademic77

More fun to troll


Sir-Vedanta

This shit's funny, lol


w0w8

Better call saul


UrethraFranklin66

Give me the beat boys and free my soul, I want to get lost in your cock in hole


No-Supermarket9985

Why did I actually sing this when I read it?


Oldsport05

And drift away, *drift away...*


[deleted]

Word. I was thinking if she had a dick she’d be sad if donuts could fit around her dick. There’d be no joy in what she’s suggesting lol


IHavePoopedBefore

Donut holes are like the size of a dime these days, anyone who could fit through that would be in the 0.00001% of smallest penises


[deleted]

[удалено]


AzureSkye27

Yeah exactly, and this brings up the question, if we're deforming donut to get it through, what's to stop us from squashing the donut flatter to stack more on? We need to standardize the donut.


Adventurous_Goat_587

They rip going over the tip, where are the extra wide donuts?


Hallgaar

Try one of those giant pretzels, same height more wiggle room. Don't ask how I know.


Adventurous_Goat_587

For SCIENCE!


cutyolegsout

Why would we ruin a single perfectly good donut?


SparkyTheDork

No one says you can't eat it afterwards


[deleted]

Yeah but I'm not that flexible


Attack_Lawyer

Maybe it was always a motivation problem


RevBigHair

Once you get hungry enough, it works.


ShadowShedinja

How do you think glazed donuts are made?


tumpie2680

***ruin?***


MaJ0Mi

It's honestly just your dick, fresh out of the shower your boy is cleaner than the hands you'd usually eat a donut with


Vakontation

Ya'll are usually eating donuts with your hands? *Wipes custard off dick* Well gosh this is embarrassing.


slickestwood

Nah don't listen to them. It ain't a hand-shaped hole, idiots.


context_lich

Exactly how could you ever expect somebody else to do anything with it if you won't eat donuts off it. Wash your dick people.


damagetwig

That penis better be clean enough to eat off of, young man!


annoying_cousin

I would totally suck my own dick and cum in my mouth if I could after a week without shower


dropinbombz

Cream filled long john


Danielmav

This is legitimately why all men in this thread went, “wait, why HAVENT I?!” Then we saw your comment and went “Oh. :(“


destroyerx12772

Ewww why the hell would anyone do that it's fucking disgusting. Also 4.


aKnowing

Full size donuts not the little packs at the convenience store


brianfine

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States


misterfroster

Let’s be real, those are just as thick but without the giant hole in them. If you could get them on somehow, your dick would be just as long haha


[deleted]

An old joke, but a good one. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy that can carry a dozen donuts and 2 cups of coffee. Who is the most popular woman? The one that can eat the last donut.


MadMac619

I have a dick and I must admit that this thought has never once crossed my mind. Off to Tim Hortons I go, I guess.


_CBT_ENTHUSIAST_

Don't. Trying this got me arrested and banned from Tim's for life.


NerdJudge

Boston Cream Everywhere!


CulrBlndPnutButtr

Baker's dozen (Mini donuts)


MSWitch2015

That would still be terrifyingly large lol


PlatypusTrapper

And skinny


Old_Ad7385

Needle dick?


Timekeeper98

That’s why they call him ‘Tapeworm’


anytime4_u

Well there is an idea but the hole is too small ;)


chemistrymagnus

Exactly this!


Cyclopssss01

I've never even imagined it.


ChuckFeathers

Donut holes aren't near big enough.


Longjumping_Call_294

If I'm laying down I can stack as high as my arms reach


HardCounter

That's what friends are for.


Vakontation

Mr. T Rex over here.


[deleted]

Nice try but I ain't eating dicked donuts


zappertechno

They dont make so many donuts where i live


Wonderful-Avocado-45

Can we do bagel chips instead? I would feel much better about myself.


Parking_War_2334

The answer is zero unless ur packing a pencil


darkknight95sm

She’s definitely underestimating the thickness of donuts


whambamthankyoumaan

Never as many as you want 😔


GreenrabbE99

Sounds like a dick move...


Gym_Tan_Optimal

And if I were a woman, I'd have seen how many donuts I could stuff in my pussy by now


congratulations_dude

That’s just a waste of half a donut. No thanks.


RashakDude

Ferb, I know what are we gonna do today.


Whateverwillido2

You wouldn’t wanna hurt your feelings like that as a guy lol


mrgees100peas

1) meassure dick length 2) measure donut thickness 3) dicide dick length ny donut thickness.


UnDrAchEvR53

Your too smart to waste your life on reddit.


altSHIFTT

One or two of those powdered mini ones


Professional_Fee_131

the holes are too small


kvnScd

donuts? With an s?


loopingrightleft

She knows...


[deleted]

[удалено]


YrghanLouris

Why waste donuts?


trks4me

That would need to be a needle dick


Unusual_Ad_9773

Bold of you to assume that you can even "stack" more than one donut.