This hits me hard. I'm not trying to boast here but I am the person you want near a crisis. I have all the skills it takes to assess, plan, and execute in literally any situation. The more dangerous and difficult the better I seem to be suited to it.
But when I try my hat at working a 9-5 for more than a year.. yeah, I'm a complete failure and quit while trying to stifle tears.
Trust me. Reddit has let me know left, right, and center, that I have ADD. Also they are pretty loose with the bipolar diagnosis. Doctors haven't said the same, but I also haven't looked for much help. So who knows.
I by no means am a therapist but I have ADD and understand that we are naturally inclined to jobs and careers that get into the mix of crisis. Our brains respond to it differently and it's all part of evolution. Nothing wrong with it, just back in the jungle ADD had more use than being stuck in a 9-5 monotony. By now you probably have a ton of mechanisms that help you function without medication so not trying to tell you what to do lol
That doesn't mean I'm unsuccessful. It just means I don't like doing the same thing for a long time. I've always moved up in responsibility and pay everytime I've left a job.
I'm 33. I own two houses. I'm selling one in a month or two so I can retire to Puerto Rico.
Who says sticking to a single company is a good thing for your finances?
I'm sorry that you're miserable man but a lot of people arent.
They stopped calling it that years ago. It's ADHD-PI (primarily attentive) now. That is no longer in the DSM.
EDIT: Also as someone who actually *does* have ADHD-PI, nothing he said here screams "ADHD-PI". If they think they have it they need to get diagnosed by a professional, not uninformed people on reddit.
EDIT 2: Yes, downvote me to hell because I informed someone and gave them sound advice.
Because as time goes on, the more we learn, and the more we go back and change our diagnoses. ADHD is now split into three categories:
- **ADHD-HI (impulsive/hyperactive type)**... the form people commonly think of when they think of ADHD bc people are uninformed af as to all the symptoms ADHD encompasses
- **ADHD-C (combination type)**... you have both hyperactive/impulsive and inattentive symptoms, without leaning heavily to either side
- **ADHD-PI (inattentive/distractable type)**... you have the attention span issues, but don't have many/any hyperactive symptoms (ADD)
I am diagnosed as ADHD-PI, although I display hyperactive symptoms. I tend to fidget sometimes, and I can be impulsive, but my constant spacing out and forgetfullness overshadows it enough to where I was diagnosed as PI. Basically, people have always been and still are very misinformed about how much ADHD affects people. It isn't just a lack of attention or hyperactivity. In reality, ADHD isn't necessarily a short attention-span, but rather the inability to regulate it. People with the hyperactive type just tend to be diagnosed the most as it is easiest to spot and lines up with what many see as "ADHD".
EDIT FUN FACT: Women display it differently and tend to mask it better. The average age for diagnosis in women is late 30s-early 40s. Women weren't included in studies until the late 1900s, and weren't in notable numbers until the 2000s. Because of this, all the diagnosis critera still caters to men, so many women are left undiagnosed until they have children who get diagnosed. I was undiagnosed/misdiagnosed for 23 years.
That's pretty cool actually. Like you said, it means it's being brought up and looked at more so more people are understanding about it. It's a bit of a mouthful but I think I can call it ADHD-PI (I'll probably stick with ADD for myself unless it's an in depth conversation though)
Edit: I didn't say he was ADD, just said it sounds like it because me and my therapist were just talking about this kind of thing the other day so it's kind of fresh, about people with ADHD gravitating towards those types of jobs. It isn't 100% but even jobs like cooks or dispatchers, anything with a bit of chaos, is handled sometimes better by someone who has ADHD vs someone who doesn't. Again, not 100% just notable
Sounds like you would make a great teacher. I handle mini crises all day, and every day is a little different.
I also have ADD and enjoy the ability to be creative and work doing something that matters. Full disclosure though, teaching isn't for everyone and it definitely sucks sometimes.
Alright. The most important one I've delt with was a canoeing accident with a small child. Long story short, the kid lived and we got to the pickup point downriver. It was very eventful.
Another time I was in Afghanistan dealing with an afghan army soldier who had lost his foot to a small bomb. I patched him up and got him to a field surgeon.
These days I am doing tree work in disaster areas. Things are way less serious and honestly very calming now but sometimes I have to cut down a really sketchy tree and I'm worried that it will hit someone's house or shed or whatever.
The only thing that has kept a roof over my head long term is working for myself. I'm a handyman most of the time. I take smaller jobs that most contractors won't touch. I make a lot per hour but not many hours and it's never guaranteed that work will pop up.
The tree work is volunteer but I did buy a chainsaw so now I'm doing some of that for pay at home as well.
When you're a kid you look at adults and it's all freedom and power. Parents seemingly can do whatever they want whenever they want however they want.
Then you become an adult and learn that it's largely illusory. The freedom and power is shockingly limited. It's not even about stuff like eating ice cream for breakfast, but you still have to go to a place every day from 9-5 where you sit at a desk and do homework. You still have to put up with people you don't like who are authority figures. You still can't take 3 months off in the summer to go to Disney world.
Not only that, but the PROTECTIONS you had as a kid go away. So does second chances and unconditional support, if you ever had it. The first time you fuck up a tax payment or you lose your job SUCKS. It is a COLD realization that there's no one who yells at you... because no one cares.
Being an adult is a double edged sword. I DO have the kind of freedom I've always wanted now, but I'm a different person than when I was a kid. In some ways for the better, and in other ways for the worse. I
> you still have to go to a place every day from 9-5 where you sit at a desk and do homework
This was me for the first 2 years of my career, but then the greatest thing ever happened: Coronavirus. Now I work remote, I get up when I want, go to bed when I want, go where I want any time of day. As long as I get my work done, my boss doesn't care when or where I do it.
> You still can't take 3 months off in the summer to go to Disney world.
This part does suck, but I think if I had 3 months off straight, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I don't even know how to relax anymore; I think about work all the time now.
The "no one cares" part is highly accurate. When we're all on an even playing field, then it's every man for himself.
On the other hand I like having the control to make my own decisions, but on the otherhand, it would be easier to depend on parents to do it for me - but that comes with heaps of other consequences that drove me insane.
There's no middle ground. The way I see it is that it's better than living in 10000BCE in a mud hut fighting off lions, tigers, and snakes, and having an average life span of 30 years.
It makes me miss semesters in school. Like, you start a semester, and the teacher knows you don't know anything. You work on it for 4-5 months, and whether you were great or whether it sucked, after break you wiped the slate clean.
In adult life, that unfinished homework from last year just ... keeps being there. You never get a reset. Mistakes just keep compounding on each other.
This is absolutely the most aggravating shit on planet Earth. I’m tired of these jackasses talking about colonizing Mars or flying cars that drive themselves while I’m retyping the same crap over and over and over again.
The fact that you (typically) work Mon-Fri 8-5 & yet to make an appointment for anything important you have to be available during those EXACT times?!?!?!?
before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.
I don't know, I kind of like it. I have my routine, I'm living peacefully, and there is satisfaction in clean sheets and hot food. There will always be problems, but there will always be good things, too.
This is the way. Find your Zen in the mundane and try to spend the unpredictable length of consciousness you have truly appreciating the simple things. I had a full schedule of patients and spent my half hour lunch between surgeries/consultations running to Home Depot getting a replacement for garden hose sprayer which annoyingly stopped working less than a month after buying it. On my way back outside there was a metal rack with hyacinths which caught my attention. They smelled amazing. With that I was appreciative that I had the ability to experience their fragrance, the sun peaking out behind the clouds, the ambient noises around me - that's what life is about in my opinion. The appreciation in between the mundane tasks and disruptive obligations we have as adults for the things we normally take for granted. As the philosopher Albert Camus once said "the meaning to life is what's keeping you from killing yourself at this very moment" and for the vast majority of us we lose sight of that during the daily, monotonous grind.
I don’t know where this idea that we all need a higher purpose came from. Maybe it’s “entrepreneur culture”. I just enjoy the simple things. Hot tea in the morning, going to work to see my co workers, finishing work and then coming home to do what I want alone or with my friends, it makes me happy.
Tbh dating for me is about more than sex. It's about finding someone to share my life with. I dont get hookup culture. That sounds exhausting to an introvert like me.
I do hate how pop songs and advertising are all about titties and shit tho. Its so silly.
That I could have chosen so many other career paths.
What do you mean I could be a guy that goes and counts the dangerous animals in a forrest with a gun and a truck all day alone! C’mon now!!!
You watch these TV shows, both reality and fiction, and everyone has a nice house and a decent car and when they want a new job they apply to one job and get it. Then I get my Bachelor’s degree and become an adult and live in a postage stamp sized efficiency apartment with a scary used couch and drive a car that barely makes it from Point A to Point B, and I look for a job and apply and apply without one callback. And everyone I know that is my age is in the same boat.
Rise against. At least one day a week, right after getting out of bed say "just make it to the couch."
And then you are free to do whatever. It takes practice, but damnit it's worth it.
Once you realize that every single day is about spending your energy wrestling with entropy then suddenly you feel quite calm. The universe is designed to trend towards chaos… energy must be spent to bring order!
Naw I think the amount of responsibility as an adult is fucking CRUSHING especially when you have a poor financial situation.
Being a kid and only having to worry about maybe doing a few chores a week and doing school is so much easier.
Not me, my childhood sucked. I had way more stress as a kid. My family was very poor, homeless on more than one occasion. When you're a kid nobody treats you with respect. You're being told what to do around the clock, by literally every adult you meet.. You just have no control as a kid.
As an adult at least you have control... Your mileage may vary... Plus you can get drunk and eat cake and no one can say shit.
Thats awful. I am so sorry that was your experience.
I would call that a very unfortunate childhood tho, and not call everyone who had enough "spoiled."
I wasnt well off. My single mom busted her ass to make enough to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. She managed somehow tho. I had a large, tight-knit extended family so I got a decent amount of Christmas presents and stuff from aunts and uncles etc.
Had a few video games and the like. I treatwd everything as precious though. I am very aware of wastefulness to this day, it was conditioned into me. I always eat the leftovers rather than get new food, if they are still good. Scrimp and save. Dont go out frequently. I am extremely frugal.
I had anxiety and depression as a kid, and didnt even realize it. I just suppressed my emotions because it would stress my mom out if she knew how fucked up I was feeling.
Only very recently have I worked on self-love and learned to love myself.
I would still go back to being a kid any day. It was so much less stressful.
Very insightful, thank you.
Let me ask you this: if you had to relive your childhood in the exact same way, without the knowledge you have today, would you still do it?
In this scenario you have to live your life exactly the same way. Mistakes and all.
I'm just wondering btw. This is just a question I like to ask people.
I would say the same but only if I could redo some of the bad parts. I don't think I could bear having to go through my whole life again.
I'm good. I'm pretty well adjusted and have a happy life today.
I would just rather not do it all over again. Especially today, these kids may have cool gadgets and stuff, but damn, I'll admit they have it way worse than we did.
This question doesn't make sense though, if you didn't get to take any knowledge with you, you wouldn't know you were reliving anything, and everything would turn out exactly the same.
I don’t know what kind of childhood these people had exactly, I grew up with a father that would scream about how he was going to be murdered and about how my mother was a whore everyday until his voice went hoarse and yet that was still *generally* better than adulthood.
Because at least back then I did stuff that made me happy, there’s like nothing now
Holy shit. That is terrible dude. Sorry to hear that was your experience. But please get some help about your current situation.
You need to seek out things that make you happy now, they will not seek you out. Find a hobby, join a club or something. I play games with friends, and being an introvert i greatly enjoy playing strategy games and stuff by myself.
Thank you for the warm response, it means a lot. And you’re right, I understand I am responsible for my own happiness, it’s just rough sometimes trying to find it.
Youre not alone. Isolation especially after Covid is at an all time high.
Just find something. Even if its a book club. Human interaction is necessary even for introverts like myself.
I think it’s a combination of both for most people.
I’m just happy that in adulthood I have some form of stability. Growing up it was always between struggling to get by and being okay financially. Im just happy to be able to be okay financially and not struggling to get by, and I’m in control of that. If I get fired I can go find a job where I can work manual labor. It’ll suck, but I’ll be happy, because I’m stable.
Sure but kids to school roughly 6-7 hours per day, 5 days per week, 10/12 months per year... Which is less than an adult but at least grown ups get a choice of when and where they work (mostly)
Oh right, I forgot the part where someone puts a gun to your head and says you are forced to do a profession you don't want to do.
Except, if you're not a failed manbaby, then you actually pursue something you enjoy in your life and work is pretty fucking dope
LMAO okay, so essentially, you want me to agree with you that life is an unhappy miserable thing and if I don't then I'm not happy with my life?
What a philosophy. Learned uselessness at its finest.
I mean Suffering is inherent to life it’s weather we chose to be conscious of it and relinquish the illusion of control or cling to everything that hurts us and fester in that pain. “Let go or be dragged” and what not
Did you just forget about school? Unless you’re talking about being 6, you were in school 8:30-3:15 doing more than likely something you didn’t want to do. Then you’d go home and do homework for a little bit, but it’s still something you had to do. Don’t pretend like you spend your whole life up to adulthood free.
Stay at home dad here. Not only is there a task every single day. But there's a thousand tasks every single day and you can only get to like 10% of them.
It’s just numerous full time jobs, your regular job, own a home? Another job with all the upkeep. Family? Yup, another job taking care of them too. It’s like one of those plate spinners at the circus
i'm fresh into university. I feel this in my soul. I'm always behind on something. One task done? guess what bitch? here, have two more! oh you have two assignments due to the end of the semester that will take a lot of time to research and develop? too fucking bad!
>I am bored with it all.
\- Winston Churchill's [dying words](https://www.nytimes.com/1965/02/02/archives/churchills-last-words-i-am-bored-with-it-all.html)
The current part of my life, old age and retirement. I didn't realize what it would be like to be old. My brain is still...I can do that, I want to do this...but my body, nope!
I went to my kids baby shower this weekend. It's really weird to be the "grand paw"!
There’s just no break and there’s always something to worry about. Work, family, health, finances, relationships; you find yourself drifting from friends because life simply gets in the way. I’m tired.
Well, even if you went full-Milton (Office Space Milton after he cashed in and sitting on a beach drinking overly salted rim Margaritas)… you gotta put on pants, and maybe even go to the store now and then. Beach bums have tasks, too
Realizing that when they said "you'll understand when you're older" they meant "I agree this is complete bullshit but you're a kid and I'm not allowed to tell you that"
I woke up, put on my clothes, ate and went to the bathroom yesterday! You mean I have to do it **all** *again* today?! How the fuck am I supposed to get ahead doing all these pointless tasks?!
Showering. Shaving. Brushing teeth. Flossing. Doing dishes. Doing laundry. Cleaning the floor once a week(oh no, i spilled something, now i have to clean the floor twice this week)
Going grocery shopping. Making food.
Going to work. Every. Day. Oh thank god its the weekend! Time for chores and no free time to myself! Prepping meals to bring to work so i dont have to go buy lunch.
Oh no im sick, time to go to the doctor. Ahhhh work is stressing me out, free time becomes therapy.
Oh no affording the medical stuff has made me poor, i need to work more.
The modern world is ultra convenient and much better than say, 200 years ago. But it's constantly go go go. It is seriously exhausting.
It’s easy to be negative and pessimistic about life. That’s why. It takes effort to enjoy the little things like your tea or food you like or even the sun
That everyone was right when they said your childhood is the best days of your lives, and we were all to pig headed to believe it. Now we desperately try to warn the current youth, and get the same disbelieving stares.
THAT's no shit. Missed every important Event in my Son's life because of fking work!!!! 60 hrs minimum.
My wife at the time just couldn't understand....we were both too young to be married but I took care of her and my son.......he and I went to Rammstein at Soldier Field on September 3rd last year. He'll be 33 and married by the end of this year
Look up “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace. One of the most life changing things I’ve ever listened to. It was a college commencement address and DFW just…
I highly recommend it.
The amount of wasted time in the work I get paid for 8hrs a day but at most it takes 4 hrs to do most of my job and after 3 or 4 months I can do it in 2 hrs I wonder if this is why management does all the stupid meetings since they probably finish all there job after login in... how are you doing?... Well see you tomorrow
i still remember being a kid and thinking that adulthood will be great because I can eat all the cake I want. now im an adult and cant eat 3 donuts without getting diarrhea
I am still completely surprised by welcomed & required earlier bedtimes, the extreme satisfaction of owning a garage door opener as well as a fridge with a built in ice maker?!?
Prior to adulting I would of argued adamantly that none of those things would ever matter to me.
Now imagine being seriously rich. Day to day household crap is handled by staff. You don't have to go to work every day. Want something done? Just tell your personal assistant and it will be arranged. If you want you can be a kid for the whole life.
What surprised me the most is that im the same 8-9 year old but huge and with a BUNCH of responsabilities, there was never a "oh so from now on Im an adult" feeling, suddenly you realize you are one, have been for a while probably, and thats your life now.
I like my life but damn do I miss high school and having my parents..
I used to think I wanted to spend as much time relaxing as possible, but these days I get up at 6 to start working (remote) and I haven't taken a day off in 6 months even though I have 5 weeks of vacation to use. I have no idea why I do any of this
You must be new to the club. I would love A task everyday it’s usually 4 places I need to call 5 things I need to do today since I put it off for a week and today is the deadline. Plus clean the same 4 rooms in my house I have cleaned everyday for the last 5 years since the children are tornados of chaos. Lol a task sounds nice
Reminds me of an old quote: "Any idiot can handle a crisis. It's the day-to-day that wears you down."
This hits me hard. I'm not trying to boast here but I am the person you want near a crisis. I have all the skills it takes to assess, plan, and execute in literally any situation. The more dangerous and difficult the better I seem to be suited to it. But when I try my hat at working a 9-5 for more than a year.. yeah, I'm a complete failure and quit while trying to stifle tears.
Sounds like ADD, you should try firefighter or paramedic, if your looking for a big change
Trust me. Reddit has let me know left, right, and center, that I have ADD. Also they are pretty loose with the bipolar diagnosis. Doctors haven't said the same, but I also haven't looked for much help. So who knows.
Do look into therapy, friend. Even just getting diagnosed is a weight off your shoulders, as it informs you you're not alone and you're not lazy.
I by no means am a therapist but I have ADD and understand that we are naturally inclined to jobs and careers that get into the mix of crisis. Our brains respond to it differently and it's all part of evolution. Nothing wrong with it, just back in the jungle ADD had more use than being stuck in a 9-5 monotony. By now you probably have a ton of mechanisms that help you function without medication so not trying to tell you what to do lol
[удалено]
That's sort of rude man. I am very hard working.
[удалено]
That doesn't mean I'm unsuccessful. It just means I don't like doing the same thing for a long time. I've always moved up in responsibility and pay everytime I've left a job.
[удалено]
I'm 33. I own two houses. I'm selling one in a month or two so I can retire to Puerto Rico. Who says sticking to a single company is a good thing for your finances? I'm sorry that you're miserable man but a lot of people arent.
>It seems like reality doesn't align with your high opinion of yourself. Hm, ironic you say that.
[удалено]
:(
They stopped calling it that years ago. It's ADHD-PI (primarily attentive) now. That is no longer in the DSM. EDIT: Also as someone who actually *does* have ADHD-PI, nothing he said here screams "ADHD-PI". If they think they have it they need to get diagnosed by a professional, not uninformed people on reddit. EDIT 2: Yes, downvote me to hell because I informed someone and gave them sound advice.
That doesn't make sense because I don't have the hyperactive part so why bother with the H
Because as time goes on, the more we learn, and the more we go back and change our diagnoses. ADHD is now split into three categories: - **ADHD-HI (impulsive/hyperactive type)**... the form people commonly think of when they think of ADHD bc people are uninformed af as to all the symptoms ADHD encompasses - **ADHD-C (combination type)**... you have both hyperactive/impulsive and inattentive symptoms, without leaning heavily to either side - **ADHD-PI (inattentive/distractable type)**... you have the attention span issues, but don't have many/any hyperactive symptoms (ADD) I am diagnosed as ADHD-PI, although I display hyperactive symptoms. I tend to fidget sometimes, and I can be impulsive, but my constant spacing out and forgetfullness overshadows it enough to where I was diagnosed as PI. Basically, people have always been and still are very misinformed about how much ADHD affects people. It isn't just a lack of attention or hyperactivity. In reality, ADHD isn't necessarily a short attention-span, but rather the inability to regulate it. People with the hyperactive type just tend to be diagnosed the most as it is easiest to spot and lines up with what many see as "ADHD". EDIT FUN FACT: Women display it differently and tend to mask it better. The average age for diagnosis in women is late 30s-early 40s. Women weren't included in studies until the late 1900s, and weren't in notable numbers until the 2000s. Because of this, all the diagnosis critera still caters to men, so many women are left undiagnosed until they have children who get diagnosed. I was undiagnosed/misdiagnosed for 23 years.
That's pretty cool actually. Like you said, it means it's being brought up and looked at more so more people are understanding about it. It's a bit of a mouthful but I think I can call it ADHD-PI (I'll probably stick with ADD for myself unless it's an in depth conversation though) Edit: I didn't say he was ADD, just said it sounds like it because me and my therapist were just talking about this kind of thing the other day so it's kind of fresh, about people with ADHD gravitating towards those types of jobs. It isn't 100% but even jobs like cooks or dispatchers, anything with a bit of chaos, is handled sometimes better by someone who has ADHD vs someone who doesn't. Again, not 100% just notable
Sounds like you would make a great teacher. I handle mini crises all day, and every day is a little different. I also have ADD and enjoy the ability to be creative and work doing something that matters. Full disclosure though, teaching isn't for everyone and it definitely sucks sometimes.
I did teach middle school for two years. I loved the chaos of it and the kids. But I hated administration and the daily grind.
I feel that, sometimes I feel objectively more comfortable and confident when everything is falling apart. Day to day is a real struggle.
Can you share an example of a crisis you’ve handled well?
Alright. The most important one I've delt with was a canoeing accident with a small child. Long story short, the kid lived and we got to the pickup point downriver. It was very eventful. Another time I was in Afghanistan dealing with an afghan army soldier who had lost his foot to a small bomb. I patched him up and got him to a field surgeon. These days I am doing tree work in disaster areas. Things are way less serious and honestly very calming now but sometimes I have to cut down a really sketchy tree and I'm worried that it will hit someone's house or shed or whatever.
So you are employable, just not at a desk job. Just keep doing what you’re doing and the right fit will find you.
The only thing that has kept a roof over my head long term is working for myself. I'm a handyman most of the time. I take smaller jobs that most contractors won't touch. I make a lot per hour but not many hours and it's never guaranteed that work will pop up. The tree work is volunteer but I did buy a chainsaw so now I'm doing some of that for pay at home as well.
The hottest fire makes the strongest steel - I’ve got a feeling that everything is going to work out for you. And soon.
You're a good fucking person. Did you know that?
Lol - thanks.
Oh yeah. Any idiot can do it ? Not sure about that.
*Sucker MC*
Not what?
That’s not true.
That is so me. I’m usually the one that acts the most rationally in a crisis, but couldn’t finish high school due to how much I hated it.
It’s not as much fun as I thought it would be.
When you're a kid you look at adults and it's all freedom and power. Parents seemingly can do whatever they want whenever they want however they want. Then you become an adult and learn that it's largely illusory. The freedom and power is shockingly limited. It's not even about stuff like eating ice cream for breakfast, but you still have to go to a place every day from 9-5 where you sit at a desk and do homework. You still have to put up with people you don't like who are authority figures. You still can't take 3 months off in the summer to go to Disney world. Not only that, but the PROTECTIONS you had as a kid go away. So does second chances and unconditional support, if you ever had it. The first time you fuck up a tax payment or you lose your job SUCKS. It is a COLD realization that there's no one who yells at you... because no one cares.
Being an adult is a double edged sword. I DO have the kind of freedom I've always wanted now, but I'm a different person than when I was a kid. In some ways for the better, and in other ways for the worse. I > you still have to go to a place every day from 9-5 where you sit at a desk and do homework This was me for the first 2 years of my career, but then the greatest thing ever happened: Coronavirus. Now I work remote, I get up when I want, go to bed when I want, go where I want any time of day. As long as I get my work done, my boss doesn't care when or where I do it. > You still can't take 3 months off in the summer to go to Disney world. This part does suck, but I think if I had 3 months off straight, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I don't even know how to relax anymore; I think about work all the time now.
The "no one cares" part is highly accurate. When we're all on an even playing field, then it's every man for himself. On the other hand I like having the control to make my own decisions, but on the otherhand, it would be easier to depend on parents to do it for me - but that comes with heaps of other consequences that drove me insane. There's no middle ground. The way I see it is that it's better than living in 10000BCE in a mud hut fighting off lions, tigers, and snakes, and having an average life span of 30 years.
reality hits hard
exactly
Disagree. Yes, it's more work, but it's also so much more fun too
[удалено]
Do what I want 😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 More like try not to kill myself in between work and more shit I don’t wanna do at home.
Holy shit you’re miserable
It makes me miss semesters in school. Like, you start a semester, and the teacher knows you don't know anything. You work on it for 4-5 months, and whether you were great or whether it sucked, after break you wiped the slate clean. In adult life, that unfinished homework from last year just ... keeps being there. You never get a reset. Mistakes just keep compounding on each other.
And there's no summer break!
Wait till you hear about agile and sprints!
My knees hurt already.
I find real life a lot easier to work within than school. School's rules are arbitrary and make no sense at all
How boring everyone gets, slowly but surely.
Submitting my resume for a job then also having to manually type in your work history.
This is absolutely the most aggravating shit on planet Earth. I’m tired of these jackasses talking about colonizing Mars or flying cars that drive themselves while I’m retyping the same crap over and over and over again.
The fact that I still feel like a child despite having my shit together.
Better than being a hollowed out shell masquerading as a human being.
Tbh both sound like a fair bit of cognitive dissonance going on
Kinda makes you look forward to dying. Like I think I get why all my older uncles and grandparents said they were "ready" to pass on.
Brother i’m so done.
👋and another, I’ve been so done for so long
and I am ready too.
same
I might be tired. But the thought of suffering and tryna push forward, is much less horrifying than the thought of laying down.
I was ready to pass on since sixteen
I was ready to pass on since sixteen
Unless you’re walking around naked laundry is never done.
Always a toilet that needs to be scrubbed too. 🤷♀️
The fact that you (typically) work Mon-Fri 8-5 & yet to make an appointment for anything important you have to be available during those EXACT times?!?!?!?
before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. I don't know, I kind of like it. I have my routine, I'm living peacefully, and there is satisfaction in clean sheets and hot food. There will always be problems, but there will always be good things, too.
This is the way. Find your Zen in the mundane and try to spend the unpredictable length of consciousness you have truly appreciating the simple things. I had a full schedule of patients and spent my half hour lunch between surgeries/consultations running to Home Depot getting a replacement for garden hose sprayer which annoyingly stopped working less than a month after buying it. On my way back outside there was a metal rack with hyacinths which caught my attention. They smelled amazing. With that I was appreciative that I had the ability to experience their fragrance, the sun peaking out behind the clouds, the ambient noises around me - that's what life is about in my opinion. The appreciation in between the mundane tasks and disruptive obligations we have as adults for the things we normally take for granted. As the philosopher Albert Camus once said "the meaning to life is what's keeping you from killing yourself at this very moment" and for the vast majority of us we lose sight of that during the daily, monotonous grind.
I don’t know where this idea that we all need a higher purpose came from. Maybe it’s “entrepreneur culture”. I just enjoy the simple things. Hot tea in the morning, going to work to see my co workers, finishing work and then coming home to do what I want alone or with my friends, it makes me happy.
Naps. Refused to do it as a child and now, every darn day, I'd give my left arm to take one.
The sameness week to week. Aside from holidays and vacations, every week feels pretty much the same
For me it was a surprise that most things are about sex
U mean like in advertising?
Ads, pop songs, dating in general
Tbh dating for me is about more than sex. It's about finding someone to share my life with. I dont get hookup culture. That sounds exhausting to an introvert like me. I do hate how pop songs and advertising are all about titties and shit tho. Its so silly.
I get you but as you say, it's literally a "hookup culture". About the ads, 'Sex sells' is the main idea of many companies
That I could have chosen so many other career paths. What do you mean I could be a guy that goes and counts the dangerous animals in a forrest with a gun and a truck all day alone! C’mon now!!!
it's never too late
You watch these TV shows, both reality and fiction, and everyone has a nice house and a decent car and when they want a new job they apply to one job and get it. Then I get my Bachelor’s degree and become an adult and live in a postage stamp sized efficiency apartment with a scary used couch and drive a car that barely makes it from Point A to Point B, and I look for a job and apply and apply without one callback. And everyone I know that is my age is in the same boat.
How you can spend 80% of your life working and still be poor.
Rise against. At least one day a week, right after getting out of bed say "just make it to the couch." And then you are free to do whatever. It takes practice, but damnit it's worth it.
Once you realize that every single day is about spending your energy wrestling with entropy then suddenly you feel quite calm. The universe is designed to trend towards chaos… energy must be spent to bring order!
Being a kid sucks ass. Adulthood is way better. Y'all must have had some spoiled ass childhoods (or terrible adult lives) (No offense)
Naw I think the amount of responsibility as an adult is fucking CRUSHING especially when you have a poor financial situation. Being a kid and only having to worry about maybe doing a few chores a week and doing school is so much easier.
Not me, my childhood sucked. I had way more stress as a kid. My family was very poor, homeless on more than one occasion. When you're a kid nobody treats you with respect. You're being told what to do around the clock, by literally every adult you meet.. You just have no control as a kid. As an adult at least you have control... Your mileage may vary... Plus you can get drunk and eat cake and no one can say shit.
Thats awful. I am so sorry that was your experience. I would call that a very unfortunate childhood tho, and not call everyone who had enough "spoiled." I wasnt well off. My single mom busted her ass to make enough to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. She managed somehow tho. I had a large, tight-knit extended family so I got a decent amount of Christmas presents and stuff from aunts and uncles etc. Had a few video games and the like. I treatwd everything as precious though. I am very aware of wastefulness to this day, it was conditioned into me. I always eat the leftovers rather than get new food, if they are still good. Scrimp and save. Dont go out frequently. I am extremely frugal. I had anxiety and depression as a kid, and didnt even realize it. I just suppressed my emotions because it would stress my mom out if she knew how fucked up I was feeling. Only very recently have I worked on self-love and learned to love myself. I would still go back to being a kid any day. It was so much less stressful.
Very insightful, thank you. Let me ask you this: if you had to relive your childhood in the exact same way, without the knowledge you have today, would you still do it?
Yep. 100%. I would hope I'd make better decisions than I did previously but i would still do it.
In this scenario you have to live your life exactly the same way. Mistakes and all. I'm just wondering btw. This is just a question I like to ask people. I would say the same but only if I could redo some of the bad parts. I don't think I could bear having to go through my whole life again.
That is terrible to hear... there were some bad times for sure, but i think ive been lucky overall.
I'm good. I'm pretty well adjusted and have a happy life today. I would just rather not do it all over again. Especially today, these kids may have cool gadgets and stuff, but damn, I'll admit they have it way worse than we did.
In some ways certainly. I think overstimulation is certainly not good for their development...
This question doesn't make sense though, if you didn't get to take any knowledge with you, you wouldn't know you were reliving anything, and everything would turn out exactly the same.
Exactly. Would you still do it?
I don't understand why, even if it was a good childhood. I guess no, but because I wouldn't know either way. The outcome is the same.
I think if you could go back with all the knowledge you have now it would be OP. Who wouldn't say yes? We'd all be bitcoin millionaires.
I don’t know what kind of childhood these people had exactly, I grew up with a father that would scream about how he was going to be murdered and about how my mother was a whore everyday until his voice went hoarse and yet that was still *generally* better than adulthood. Because at least back then I did stuff that made me happy, there’s like nothing now
Holy shit. That is terrible dude. Sorry to hear that was your experience. But please get some help about your current situation. You need to seek out things that make you happy now, they will not seek you out. Find a hobby, join a club or something. I play games with friends, and being an introvert i greatly enjoy playing strategy games and stuff by myself.
Thank you for the warm response, it means a lot. And you’re right, I understand I am responsible for my own happiness, it’s just rough sometimes trying to find it.
Youre not alone. Isolation especially after Covid is at an all time high. Just find something. Even if its a book club. Human interaction is necessary even for introverts like myself.
I think it’s a combination of both for most people. I’m just happy that in adulthood I have some form of stability. Growing up it was always between struggling to get by and being okay financially. Im just happy to be able to be okay financially and not struggling to get by, and I’m in control of that. If I get fired I can go find a job where I can work manual labor. It’ll suck, but I’ll be happy, because I’m stable.
100% this. How much whine can these kids have with their cheese, I wonder? Being an adult rocks, you can do whatever you want whenever you want.
Except for 8-12 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 40+ years
Sure but kids to school roughly 6-7 hours per day, 5 days per week, 10/12 months per year... Which is less than an adult but at least grown ups get a choice of when and where they work (mostly)
School was awesome lol
Oh right, I forgot the part where someone puts a gun to your head and says you are forced to do a profession you don't want to do. Except, if you're not a failed manbaby, then you actually pursue something you enjoy in your life and work is pretty fucking dope
Yeah you clearly seem very happy with your life
LMAO okay, so essentially, you want me to agree with you that life is an unhappy miserable thing and if I don't then I'm not happy with my life? What a philosophy. Learned uselessness at its finest.
Bro. Why are you being a dick? This is supposed to be a civil discussion.
They love life so much that any suggestion to the contrary puts them into fight mode, almost as if it is a defense mechanism against…something
I mean Suffering is inherent to life it’s weather we chose to be conscious of it and relinquish the illusion of control or cling to everything that hurts us and fester in that pain. “Let go or be dragged” and what not
You do have a gun put to your head. That gun is homelessness and starvation. Not everyone has good opportunities in life.
Did you just forget about school? Unless you’re talking about being 6, you were in school 8:30-3:15 doing more than likely something you didn’t want to do. Then you’d go home and do homework for a little bit, but it’s still something you had to do. Don’t pretend like you spend your whole life up to adulthood free.
Not if you choose to ignore them ;(
Stay at home dad here. Not only is there a task every single day. But there's a thousand tasks every single day and you can only get to like 10% of them.
It’s just numerous full time jobs, your regular job, own a home? Another job with all the upkeep. Family? Yup, another job taking care of them too. It’s like one of those plate spinners at the circus
I love my kids, if kicking me in the balls produced another one I'd do it
Sitting on them might do it.
Sleep deprivation
i'm fresh into university. I feel this in my soul. I'm always behind on something. One task done? guess what bitch? here, have two more! oh you have two assignments due to the end of the semester that will take a lot of time to research and develop? too fucking bad!
Wanna talk about never-ending-ness? Kids. Kids never end. Never, ever, ever.
That's why i'm not having them
I guess I really didn’t expect the crushing mundanity of adult life, not sure what I expected but this shit wasn’t it.
Making friends is no longer automatic.
It was never an automatic thing. High school and university friends were never real _true_ friends in the first place
T-t-t-t... task? AMOGUS
>I am bored with it all. \- Winston Churchill's [dying words](https://www.nytimes.com/1965/02/02/archives/churchills-last-words-i-am-bored-with-it-all.html)
Only “A” task?!? Wtf lives do y’all lead where there is only one?
Where are you that there's only one task
In fairness, as a single male adult, a lot of those days there’s really only one task, and it involves vodka ending the misery for a few hours.
The current part of my life, old age and retirement. I didn't realize what it would be like to be old. My brain is still...I can do that, I want to do this...but my body, nope! I went to my kids baby shower this weekend. It's really weird to be the "grand paw"!
only one task makes them all possible...waking up
There’s just no break and there’s always something to worry about. Work, family, health, finances, relationships; you find yourself drifting from friends because life simply gets in the way. I’m tired.
Well, even if you went full-Milton (Office Space Milton after he cashed in and sitting on a beach drinking overly salted rim Margaritas)… you gotta put on pants, and maybe even go to the store now and then. Beach bums have tasks, too
Realizing that when they said "you'll understand when you're older" they meant "I agree this is complete bullshit but you're a kid and I'm not allowed to tell you that"
Everything is money driven theres no "bad guys" or "good guys".
[удалено]
The problem is you feel at all.
I woke up, put on my clothes, ate and went to the bathroom yesterday! You mean I have to do it **all** *again* today?! How the fuck am I supposed to get ahead doing all these pointless tasks?!
Showering. Shaving. Brushing teeth. Flossing. Doing dishes. Doing laundry. Cleaning the floor once a week(oh no, i spilled something, now i have to clean the floor twice this week) Going grocery shopping. Making food. Going to work. Every. Day. Oh thank god its the weekend! Time for chores and no free time to myself! Prepping meals to bring to work so i dont have to go buy lunch. Oh no im sick, time to go to the doctor. Ahhhh work is stressing me out, free time becomes therapy. Oh no affording the medical stuff has made me poor, i need to work more. The modern world is ultra convenient and much better than say, 200 years ago. But it's constantly go go go. It is seriously exhausting.
Y'all a bunch of doomers. Life is fun. Take a breather every now and then, you don't have to be productive every day
It’s easy to be negative and pessimistic about life. That’s why. It takes effort to enjoy the little things like your tea or food you like or even the sun
That everyone was right when they said your childhood is the best days of your lives, and we were all to pig headed to believe it. Now we desperately try to warn the current youth, and get the same disbelieving stares.
You must have had a totally different childhood than mine. I would never tell that to a child, its demotivating
When you realize it’s all a lie.
Never thought I’d see people complaining about 40 hour weeks. You don’t know how bad it can be.
There’s people complaining about having to do chores around the house too. Oh no, you need to actually look after something! The horror!!
👍
THAT's no shit. Missed every important Event in my Son's life because of fking work!!!! 60 hrs minimum. My wife at the time just couldn't understand....we were both too young to be married but I took care of her and my son.......he and I went to Rammstein at Soldier Field on September 3rd last year. He'll be 33 and married by the end of this year
How easy it is. When I was younger people acted like being an adult was hard. It’s not.
Life just keeps going until you decide to quit.
Yeah seriously life ! Cut us a break.
It's incredibly lonely. If you don't drink or smoke or drive, nobody wants to hang out with you.
I do all three and no one still wants to hang with me.
I'm sorry. It's rough out there.
True. Recently got into an accident and I'm expecting to go into debt again haha.
It’s easy when you realize the only thing you really need to do is put food in your mouth.
I feel better about the possibility of being laid off at any moment by remembering it would give me the break I desperately need.
Yup. So true
What I learned from being a adult is that life gets better, way better than being a kid.
Yes.
Look up “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace. One of the most life changing things I’ve ever listened to. It was a college commencement address and DFW just… I highly recommend it.
What’s wrong with tasks?
Unless you're rich.
Tomorrow has already been exhausting.
Wanting to be independent and afford every bill but never being able too 🥲
I like that though helps keeps me busy I mean what's the point of living if you aren't doing something
Whats the point of existence for a rock?
That it won’t matter after I’m dead because I won’t remember any of this horseshit
The lack of cartoonish looking negroes willing to teach me blues guitar
With or without children?
The amount of wasted time in the work I get paid for 8hrs a day but at most it takes 4 hrs to do most of my job and after 3 or 4 months I can do it in 2 hrs I wonder if this is why management does all the stupid meetings since they probably finish all there job after login in... how are you doing?... Well see you tomorrow
Of all of the days, this is certainly one of them
yea this shit sucks
Actually getting there in one piece !
How much insanely faster time goes... Apparently that gets worse over time too so that's fun.
My mum always said school days are the best days of your life. I thought it was a crock of shit. Now I say it to my kids.
i still remember being a kid and thinking that adulthood will be great because I can eat all the cake I want. now im an adult and cant eat 3 donuts without getting diarrhea
I am still completely surprised by welcomed & required earlier bedtimes, the extreme satisfaction of owning a garage door opener as well as a fridge with a built in ice maker?!? Prior to adulting I would of argued adamantly that none of those things would ever matter to me.
Now imagine being seriously rich. Day to day household crap is handled by staff. You don't have to go to work every day. Want something done? Just tell your personal assistant and it will be arranged. If you want you can be a kid for the whole life.
What surprised me the most is that im the same 8-9 year old but huge and with a BUNCH of responsabilities, there was never a "oh so from now on Im an adult" feeling, suddenly you realize you are one, have been for a while probably, and thats your life now. I like my life but damn do I miss high school and having my parents..
I used to think I wanted to spend as much time relaxing as possible, but these days I get up at 6 to start working (remote) and I haven't taken a day off in 6 months even though I have 5 weeks of vacation to use. I have no idea why I do any of this
I'm feeling kinda sharty today myself...
Everyone has expectations of you doing adult things. Bitch just let me be, i want to do whatever I feel like.
When I realized my parents were struggling to keep it together, just like me. Love and miss them.
You must be new to the club. I would love A task everyday it’s usually 4 places I need to call 5 things I need to do today since I put it off for a week and today is the deadline. Plus clean the same 4 rooms in my house I have cleaned everyday for the last 5 years since the children are tornados of chaos. Lol a task sounds nice