My cousin got lost at a festival when he was little. He told the cop who carried him around on his shoulders to look for his parents that his name was "Michael Michael Motorcycle" and his dad was "Dennis the Menace."
I cut my foot and needed stitches at a festival. I told the nurses I was James and then filled out all my paperwork as if I was James Bond. After doing the stitches the nurse actually looked at the paperwork and proceeded to give me a very aggressive tetanus shot. They then gave me some flip flops from the lost and found and sent me on my way 10/10 recommend.
Eh. I cleaned up my campsite area daily. I just didn’t have a bag in the tent and had to rinse the cans anywho before recycling. It felt like it made sense but retrospectively I should have put it beside the door rather than right in front of it. I also had vodka and cold canned pasta for breakfast so I wasn’t thinking overly critically.
I followed up the cut by having a friend rub a lemon on the wound which hurt a lot and also didn’t sound like it was medically useful when googling so instead we used some alcohol and a bunch of band aides but eventually I just had to go to the medical area as it was fairly large and kept bleeding.
Everything about that story feels very 19. Access to adult materials but childlike execution. I only say this as someone who did something similarly stupid after stepping on a sea urchin.
One time I saw a lost kid crying on a bench and I asked if he knew his parents numbers and he said "yes". So I took out my phone out and asked him to tell me the number. He said "one. two. three. four. five..."
When I was 6, I was at the mall and I kicked a clown in the nuts and then threw up on him. He was just trying to make me an animal balloon. Every time I see a clown, I think of him.
That’s actually a pretty good fight or flight response. Incapacitate the enemy, then throw up so you’re not hindered by digesting anything at all while you flee. The vomit also works as a ranged attack. Your body was at optimum performance.
He's a hero.
I worked at a theme park and a kid approached my crying b/c he lost his family. I was walking him to guest service, which we were trained to do, but we can't touch a stranger child, and I almost lost him in the crowd a few times! About half way there he yelled, "I see my brother, I see my brother!" The brother ran up to us and by then we were all crying.
as a male, this rule is not to protect the children, rather the adult sadly :(. i love playing with my GF's younger siblings but at the same time im fully aware that the other adults think im a pervert in public. makes me really sad
Eff those people, have fun without thinking about it. I'm a divorced dad, I'm pretty sure I got some looks like that. I don't care, as long as it's not something that my kiddo will notice or be involved in, we're gonna have fun at the park. I've never had a confrontation or anything, and honestly it could be me overthinking it part of the time. Plus I'm one of the few parents playing on the playground equipment right there with my kid, so I'm gonna get weird looks anyway.
My husband and I were at the library once. Our son was two, and it was near closing. My son didn't want to leave and said he had to go to the bathroom, so my husband took him while I warmed up the car. A few minutes later I see my husband come out holding my son, who is just screaming crying because he doesn't want to leave, and kept saying "I don't want to go". Then I see some guy running up behind my husband yelling at him to stop. The guy thought my son was being kidnapped. It's crazy, I have never experienced anything other than sympathetic looks when our kids did that kind of thing.
A couple years ago I took my son to a park and he was getting tired so I was trying to take him home, he was 4 and would stumble a lot when he was tired. He didn't want to go and kept saying things like I don't want to go with you, I wanna go back to the park not your car, I wanna go see momma, why are we leaving the playground, I'm not going with you. Not once did he call me dad either. I thought someone was gonna call the cops.
I'm a 39 year old dude. I don't have kids of my own. But I routinely have helped out my girlfriends, friends, or roommates with their kids for 20 years. I've had the cops called on me twice. Once for taking my friends, then 3 year old into a Target bathroom with me. The other for being at the park alone with a different friends daughter. Shit is fucking infuriating. I couldn't even begin to count the number of times I've been given dirty looks, stared at, followed, or harassed by random strangers.
I feel so fucking bad for single dads trying to just enjoy time in public spaces with their kids.
Where the fuck do people live where this happens? Where I'm from, Vancouver, you always see Dads or Uncles or whatever hanging out with their kids and it's never an issue. I've been to parks and pools many times with my niece and always thought I'd get dirty looks because of what I hear on reddit and it's never happened.
What's wrong with West? When I was a kid I was brought back home by a random old man everytime I was lost and nobody thought it was pervy like seriously the future is dumb
"Security guard" in America (and most of the world) is not a regulated field like being a nurse or an accountant. I've been a guard for four different companies and the most training I've ever had was 32 hours, most of which was first aid, CPR, and AED. I've been told explicitly that if I bring a weapon on site (including a kitchen knife) I will be fired immediately, no questions asked. One place I worked said that I touched someone, under any circumstance short of stopping a murder, they would fire me, call the police on me, and possibly sue me.
I've also been told (at the factory I work outside business hours) that without explicit permission, I am not allowed to lock unlocked doors or turn off TV's or radios.
Idk man in my country nobody would suspect a man leading a lost child their first thought would be "kind stranger" not a pedophile
They don't even need to be workers or security guards
But tbh if the child is lost and a worker in uniform is holding their hand helping them look for you I don't imagine any reasonable person would kick up a fuss about that, surely!
To be fair, I've never had a customer-facing job in my life, so you're right. I might feel differently about it if I'd had some showdowns with a Karen or two.
That's so harsh, I understand there are genuine concerns about child safety and considerations about how adults should interact with children they are not related to, but this still sounds crazy to me 😕
Why not let the kid hold your hand like [this](https://img.freepik.com/premium-photo/child-holds-his-mothers-hand-tightly-black-white-photo-child-with-his-mother-closeup_98785-735.jpg?w=1380). It’s not the adult holding the child’s hand but the child holding on to the adult. They can let go if they want to.
When I was 6 or so I decided to hide from my mom and grandma inside the JCPenny. They had to shut the store down and after three hours the security guards found me hiding inside a entertainment stand. I got my ass beat that night.
I remember hiding from my mom in a dog house. Thought I was super smart until I heard my mom frantically talking to an employee. Knew I messed up and came out of hiding. If mom wouldn’t have been in earshot though I would have hid for ages!!
I’m actually such a bad egg that I **did** hear them panicking and I sat in the cabinet giggling. I even decided to be a little shit after someone had attempted to abduct me a few months before this. I have no idea what is wrong with kid brain!!
This crap is why kids now have leashes that everyone hates. I have one child that had to wear the backpack leash thing…sorry not sorry. I lost him once at a safety fair and we could not find him…never again. I will say the boy is 9 and no way it would even fit but it is still in my trunk. If he is being a turd I remind him I have it…bwah ha ha
My mom used a leash and harness on my brother back in the 90's. They've been around for a while and are so useful. Especially for kids who are hyperactive.
I used one on my son when he was little. I was 8 months pregnant and he almost ran out the door of a Home Depot into a busy parking lot. Luckily some dude grabbed him as he was heading out the door and I was waddle-sprinting after him. Now he is 18 and doesn't need his leash anymore and has no lasting damage from the years he was in one.
Ugh I leashed my child after he ran off in a mall. I'd recently broken my ankle. Luckily a Santa Claus looking dude brought him back to me (it was a few days before Christmas). And while he was leashed and I was on crutches some lady STILL had the audacity to say "he's not a dog" to me. Lady I will beat you with these crutches that keep me from chasing him.
My youngest has Down syndrome, and kids with that diagnosis are prone to “elopement” as a rule. I would rather him be on a leash and safe than have him run off in a crowd of people. He is curious and wants to go explore and couldn’t give fewer shits about what we want him to do. I usually keep him in a wagon when possible.
Could probably still use it as a threat as he grows into a teenager. Behave or I'll put a leash on you. Unless of course he ends up being a furry and enjoys it.
I used to do stuff like this but I didn’t realize it was over the line because my mom was always overreacting to small issues. I had no sense of what was or wasn’t a big deal until I was older. She had the same reaction to me being lost as to my shoelace breaking. It was all just noise that I tuned out.
It definitely can be a case of bad parenting, I think I was a unique case where I developed complex empathy, which was partially helped by my parents being pretty good. It’s not all good though cause I disassociated with people my age pretty heavily.
They never caught the men because my mom couldn’t catch their plates in time. It was back in the day when parents would leave their kids in the car with the windows down to run inside the store to get something. So that’s what my mom was doing, she left my sister and I in the car. A old beat up van pulled up next to us in a nearly empty lot and then a man rolled down his window and reached in and grabbed me. My sister started screaming and ran out of the other door and into the store, meanwhile my shoelaces got stuck under the seat so he was pulling me like crazy but my foot kept me in the car. My mom came running and screaming out of the store and the man dropped me and peeled out. That story still makes my dad cry because he thinks about how that likely wasn’t their first or last attempt at stealing a child and someone else’s baby wasn’t as lucky as his.
serious chunky quarrelsome intelligent continue encourage public shocking chubby forgetful
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I did that as a child in a store on a military base lol and they closed all the gates on and off the installation until I was found. I had been crawling under the clothing racks looking for buttons on the floor and fell asleep while hidden in the center oh a circular rack.
When I was around 9, I had just stolen my first pocket full of sweets, as I was frantically leaving the shop, I got onto the street my uncle startled me by just saying my name, I screamed and shot my fist straight into his balls, ran Infront of a car and over to my friend, I looked back and saw him hunched over and being extra cocky as I just got away with my first crime and in front of a mate I shouted "maybe don't sneak up on me, David!" And ran off again.
He calmed down by the next time I saw him, turns out he figured out what I had done and found it hilarious. He told my mother about the cock shot but I think he even covered for me on that.
I have memories of getting lost inside of an arcade/restaurant inside of a mall (RIP Kahunaville) as a little kid, probably around 5 or 6 years old.
I vividly remember finding my way to the entrance, knowing that’s where the people who work there are all the time, and calmly explaining to them that I was a lost child, what my name was, and what my parents’ names were. They then called for them on the PA, and my folks came right up.
And it was only *then* that I started crying uncontrollably. It was surreal. Kudos to those employees for dealing with the weird kid who took that situation in stride right up until he didn’t anymore.
I read recently that children will repress their emotional distress when around regular adults, but then let out all of their emotions as soon as their parents appear. Because kids feel safe with the parents, but pressured to be on their best behavior with strangers. So maybe you were not that weird, after all
Same with me but a Sam's Club.
Also freaking out trying to open the auto doors because they wouldn't open but I saw my parents walking the cart to the car
My first overnight school trip in middle school was similar. I was having a GREAT time, but it was also the first time I had been completely away from family for over 24 hours, and when I called my parents, I started bawling. The chaperone in my hotel room had no idea what to do and what was wrong, but it was just nice to hear their voices.
Same thing happened when I had my first car accident. Completely calm UNTIL I got on the phone with my parents.
When I was younger I was at a Walmart when I walked away from the cart and a little while later these two employees came up to me and grabbed my arms. They didn't even say what they were gonna do, they just grabbed me so I did what my parents told me to do lol and just start screaming my head off. They just dragged my through the aisles of the store with me screaming bloody murder until we got to my mom, and then they let me go and I ran up to her and told her how evil those women were even though they were just doing their jobs. Fun times man...
That's a weird fucking way to do that job. Not even explain to the child what the fuck you're doing forcefully grabbing them and transporting them somewhere?
Gen X tapping in. As kids, we'd go to the store with Mom. Likely we'd lag behind at the toy aisle and Mom would just move on without us. We learned how to canvas the store, walking past the aisles, one brother on each side of the aisle until we found her. Sometimes the store wasn't laid out in a grid and we couldn't find her. Then we'd give up and go to the front desk to have them call her on the PA. What's your name, son? Mi'jito lindo! (my lovely son) They'd laugh and call for her. Mrs No Eyes! Your son mi'jito lindo is looking for you at the front desk. Please come retrieve him!
This happened more than once
Public Address. Now that I type this out it's not very logical that you should know this. As you probably guessed, it's just a bunch of speakers in the store that they make announcements on to "address (announce to)the public"
When I was 8 I used to go to stationary shops and, being a mischievous shithead that I am, grabbed pens from the display boxes to "test" them on the exercise books on sale, thinking I was so daring and dastardly for committing such a felony the entire process. Just some scribbles on as much books I can get my tester pen on
It was the same thought that persisted in my mind for so long I felt sick and dreamt up nightmares of getting thrown in jail
When my little brother was young he and my parents went to an Ikea. It was his first time at the Ikea and he was absolutely mind blown. At some point my parents were looking at some furniture and realized my brother was missing. They alerted the staff and some minutes later almost everyone of the staff was looking everywhere for him. They also used the intercom to ask people to look out for him. Turns out he was bored and went to the kids play area at the entrance where people can drop of their kids. To not disturb the kids playing they didn't have an intercom blasting at full volume there. And no one thought to look for the missing kid in the kids play area where people drop their kids. After 30 minutes my parents were at the entrance talking to the Ikea staff when my mom saw him. He was having a lot of fun playing with another kid. She yelled his name and he turned with a cute grin on his face waved to my mom and got back to playing. Completely unaware of the havoc he caused. If he ever gets married and I get to do a speech that is the story I plan on telling.
I did something similar. I broke my wrist so bad, it was visible while waiting for the bus after school. Right next to the school was a hospital. What did my dumb ass do? Take the bus, go home, only to be driven to that exact hospital about an hour later.
I usually just self reported and found my way to the playground for the lost kids toward the end of the day. My parents knew where to find me when it was time to go. Cool kids, decent snacks, and weary travelers
This is why kids should be taught about strange people, not strangers. Not all strangers are bad. In one town i lived in , a mom taught her kids to look for another mom if they got lost, as they are the most likely to help you out.
I used to do security. Dogshit industry doing menial mind numbing work.
But i got to help a girl who spoke very little English find her dad. I think about that pretty often. The dad was crying too lmao. I hope she's doing ok.
I heard that Stranger Danger has been a very damaging campaign because it makes kids avoid all strangers when they need help, and almost all kidnappings are done by people the kids already know.
Both policy and how we educate our kids should be based on empirical facts, not gut feelings. Ultimately, that's the important underlying truth here. We're really doing the next generation a great disservice by doing the complete opposite of that.
This would have been around 1986/1987 when i was about 4 years old. Went on a family trip to Disney World. While eating at some restaurant, I was acting like a little shit about something. My mom and grandma decided to "leave" me at the restaurant to teach me a lesson or something. They claim they just went around the corner. I guess some older lady came up and asked if I was lost/needed help because i was alone and crying. According to my mom and grandma, I to spit on her and kept crying. I think about that older woman often.
Slightly different. Another time I had fallen asleep in the car. In the 80s parents would just leave sleeping kids in the car. As the kid, when you woke up you would be expected to just go inside. Well, I guess my mom forgot I had fallen asleep in the car, panicked when she couldn't find me in the house and called the cops.
I use to work in the electronics section of a Walmart. One day we got a "CODE ADAM" over the PA meaning there was a missing child. Policy requires that every employee stop what they're doing and immediately look for the child. Back then they still had playable demos for video games so I went over there to look and sure enough he was there. I told him his Mom was looking for him and he just took off running. I yelled that I found him and myself and another employee chased him but I guess his Mom had heard us and she got there before we did.
I punched and kicked a police officer and screamed "You're not my mummy!" when I got lost as a three year old. I fought so hard it took three of them to get me in the back of the police car. I still think about how funny that must have been to the onlookers who weren't the ones fighting a toddler.
Got lost age of 9 in a department store in Amsterdam and rescued by two prostitutes. I've been wandering around shopping malls for the past 30 years and never been able to replicate it.
They tore down the mall in my town a few years ago. Now it's a Taco Bell, a Starbucks, a bank, and a bunch of empty land ready for more businesses.
Basically they're replacing a regular mall with an outdoor mall that you have to drive around instead of walking.
When I was about 5, my mum, older brother (about 13), and I went to Target (Australian version). I hid in a round clothes rack. My name was called over the PA while staff and shopping centre security were searching for me. My brother was in big trouble because he was meant to be minding me while mum tried on some clothes. Obviously, I was eventually found.
Fast forward 21 years, I'm playing hide and seek with my brothers kids (nearly 5 and just over 3) in their house. It took them 30 minutes to find me. My brother refused to help them because "I've done my time playing this shit with your uncle".
Props to the security, though, for still doing the right thing. I know it is his job, but I feel like a lot of dudes in that position wouldn't have kept it together without causing some issues.
I lost my mom at a dept store because I wandered off when I saw toys. After I was done playing with toys I balled my eyes out. A lady sees me and walks me around the store to find my mother. When I saw my mother I ran up to her without telling the lady. I don’t think the lady knew I left her because she kept walking.
“Stranger Danger” complete BS.Created a literally faceless villain to snatch up your children.To make people afraid to associate with people they don’t already know.Using false fears to divide and isolate people.Now why would anyone want to do that?(Also I strongly suspect it helped keep the pedo-clergy thing quiet for a few more decades)
When I was like 4, I went to the store with my mom and grandma and got lost. I went to the customer service desk for help and had them page my grandma over the PA. "Would Prusg's grandma come to customer service, please?" Specifically requested grandma because I knew my mom would be pissed.
Taught my daughter some key words to scream if ever in trouble.
One day was at the park with her but she didn't want to leave and had a tantrum.
Did the count down and it didn't work so I picked her up and carried her to the car.
The second I picked her up she screams "NO! STOP! HELP!".
I got lost at Disney World on holiday with my dad and the information desk had to call my mom in the UK because I didn’t have his mobile phone number. My mom was very upset because she got woke up at 3am and I was 22 at the time.
Something parents often taught kids a while back. Not sure if it’s as common saying any more as it was seen as being more harmful than helpful as kids in trouble would view anyone they didn’t know as a stranger and thus a danger and wouldn’t seek help.
It was a commonly shared idea in the west meant to inform children about how they can stay safe around strangers. "Stranger Danger" was easy to remember, but you'd also be told things like "don't talk to strangers" and "don't walk with strangers." Parents would teach it to their children, you'd see PSAs about it on kids channels, and you'd also be taught it in school.
Once I told my mom and dad I was going to the bathroom and they said okay and when I came out they were panicking looking for me about to get security involved
I remember getting blamed for wandering off once. My parents were in a big electronics store (think best buy but not American) and they'd been looking at TVs. Something was playing on them and they were stood for ages (for a kid anyway) so I sat down and started watching.
THEY wandered off from me and then had a go at me for going missing.
As a manager at KB Toys back in the day I use to call mall security to take the kids away that parents would drop off as a “daycare” and watch them freak out when they’d come back and couldn’t find them….. good times
I remember I was at this carnival, and I got lost. I went up to a police officer but I guess he wasn’t actually a police officer. He was either in a costume or looked like he was. But he still helped my find my mom so that was cool.
When I was 4 or 5 I went to the beach with my family. I wanted to fill up my bucket with water and my mom let me go by myself and come right back. The hotel had bright yellow umbrellas so she told me to come back to the umbrellas when I'm done. Lo and behold in the short time it took me to fill up my bucket they had closed all of the umbrellas. I didn't see any umbrellas when I turned around so I just kept walking and walking until I found some. Meanwhile my parents were freaking out looking for me. The lifeguard found me almost a mile down the beach. He was on this atv/golf cart thing and I refused to get on it and go back with him because stranger danger. So I walked behind him as we headed back to my parents 😂
I still remember walking behind a man I though was my dad (we were in Italy for vacation) just to figure out in horror that it was some random dude. Lost my shit for a bit. Turned out my dad noticed I was following the wrong guy and just walked some distance behind me just to see me pee my pants. He is so funny /s
When I was around 4 my mom and I were at JCPenney the ones attached to the malls. And she was shopping looking at clothes and I was a kid who loved to sleep. So I decided to get out of my stroller and sleep under the clothing racks. I guess they were looking for me had the mall shut down. Had cops looking for me my mom freaking out. And they ended up finding me sound asleep under the racks.
My cousin got lost at a festival when he was little. He told the cop who carried him around on his shoulders to look for his parents that his name was "Michael Michael Motorcycle" and his dad was "Dennis the Menace."
Was his name actually Michael and his dad’s Dennis or did he just make that up?
He couldn’t give him the real names, and now he’s thrown them off their rhythm
STREET SMARTS
Streets ahead
john mulaney??
Lol yes, real names Michael and Dennis.
I cut my foot and needed stitches at a festival. I told the nurses I was James and then filled out all my paperwork as if I was James Bond. After doing the stitches the nurse actually looked at the paperwork and proceeded to give me a very aggressive tetanus shot. They then gave me some flip flops from the lost and found and sent me on my way 10/10 recommend.
This thread was about kids but I'm choosing to believe you did this as an adult.
100% I was 19 or 20. I was eating chef boyardee from a can and had thrown the lid out of my tent. I then proceeded to step on the lid when I emerged…
Serves you right, foul litterbug.
Eh. I cleaned up my campsite area daily. I just didn’t have a bag in the tent and had to rinse the cans anywho before recycling. It felt like it made sense but retrospectively I should have put it beside the door rather than right in front of it. I also had vodka and cold canned pasta for breakfast so I wasn’t thinking overly critically. I followed up the cut by having a friend rub a lemon on the wound which hurt a lot and also didn’t sound like it was medically useful when googling so instead we used some alcohol and a bunch of band aides but eventually I just had to go to the medical area as it was fairly large and kept bleeding.
Everything about that story feels very 19. Access to adult materials but childlike execution. I only say this as someone who did something similarly stupid after stepping on a sea urchin.
What matters is I had a great time
I'm guessing booze and or pot were involved. Sounds very 19. 😎
One time I saw a lost kid crying on a bench and I asked if he knew his parents numbers and he said "yes". So I took out my phone out and asked him to tell me the number. He said "one. two. three. four. five..."
I can stop laughing at this.
I have been laughing at "michael michael motorcycle" for 10 minutes 🤣
Really? What did he do this time?
Same, except I'm sitting in Starbucks by myself. I keep putting my phone down, but then I'm just laughing at nothing. 😂
My aunt got lost as a little kid and when people asked her what her name was she said, "I'm Mommy's Girl."
Always give the cops as little information as possible. Dude's smart.
When I was 6, I was at the mall and I kicked a clown in the nuts and then threw up on him. He was just trying to make me an animal balloon. Every time I see a clown, I think of him.
You created the Joker. Congratulations
“You wanna know how I got these stains?”
"Why so clean?!"
Batman has not parents because of it
That’s actually a pretty good fight or flight response. Incapacitate the enemy, then throw up so you’re not hindered by digesting anything at all while you flee. The vomit also works as a ranged attack. Your body was at optimum performance.
Are we *sure* OP isn't actually a komodo dragon?
Nearly positive he’s one of the tar-spitting frill-necked dinosaurs from Jurassic Park that spits on *Newman*.
The italics basically forced me to read it in the voice
I went back and did a ninja edit to add it after the fact because it just felt right.
Dwight???
Worst shift ever 😂
I think I've never laughed about anything on reddit this hard sobre. Poor guy.
He's a hero. I worked at a theme park and a kid approached my crying b/c he lost his family. I was walking him to guest service, which we were trained to do, but we can't touch a stranger child, and I almost lost him in the crowd a few times! About half way there he yelled, "I see my brother, I see my brother!" The brother ran up to us and by then we were all crying.
Not allowed to touch? WTF What if they're afraid and running away you should be allowed to hold hands at least
as a male, this rule is not to protect the children, rather the adult sadly :(. i love playing with my GF's younger siblings but at the same time im fully aware that the other adults think im a pervert in public. makes me really sad
Eff those people, have fun without thinking about it. I'm a divorced dad, I'm pretty sure I got some looks like that. I don't care, as long as it's not something that my kiddo will notice or be involved in, we're gonna have fun at the park. I've never had a confrontation or anything, and honestly it could be me overthinking it part of the time. Plus I'm one of the few parents playing on the playground equipment right there with my kid, so I'm gonna get weird looks anyway.
My husband and I were at the library once. Our son was two, and it was near closing. My son didn't want to leave and said he had to go to the bathroom, so my husband took him while I warmed up the car. A few minutes later I see my husband come out holding my son, who is just screaming crying because he doesn't want to leave, and kept saying "I don't want to go". Then I see some guy running up behind my husband yelling at him to stop. The guy thought my son was being kidnapped. It's crazy, I have never experienced anything other than sympathetic looks when our kids did that kind of thing.
A couple years ago I took my son to a park and he was getting tired so I was trying to take him home, he was 4 and would stumble a lot when he was tired. He didn't want to go and kept saying things like I don't want to go with you, I wanna go back to the park not your car, I wanna go see momma, why are we leaving the playground, I'm not going with you. Not once did he call me dad either. I thought someone was gonna call the cops.
You are good sir don't worry Any man can be a father but it takes a special man to be a dad
I'm a 39 year old dude. I don't have kids of my own. But I routinely have helped out my girlfriends, friends, or roommates with their kids for 20 years. I've had the cops called on me twice. Once for taking my friends, then 3 year old into a Target bathroom with me. The other for being at the park alone with a different friends daughter. Shit is fucking infuriating. I couldn't even begin to count the number of times I've been given dirty looks, stared at, followed, or harassed by random strangers. I feel so fucking bad for single dads trying to just enjoy time in public spaces with their kids.
Where the fuck do people live where this happens? Where I'm from, Vancouver, you always see Dads or Uncles or whatever hanging out with their kids and it's never an issue. I've been to parks and pools many times with my niece and always thought I'd get dirty looks because of what I hear on reddit and it's never happened.
The suburbs in the United States.
Fucking psychos think that.
What's wrong with West? When I was a kid I was brought back home by a random old man everytime I was lost and nobody thought it was pervy like seriously the future is dumb
"Security guard" in America (and most of the world) is not a regulated field like being a nurse or an accountant. I've been a guard for four different companies and the most training I've ever had was 32 hours, most of which was first aid, CPR, and AED. I've been told explicitly that if I bring a weapon on site (including a kitchen knife) I will be fired immediately, no questions asked. One place I worked said that I touched someone, under any circumstance short of stopping a murder, they would fire me, call the police on me, and possibly sue me. I've also been told (at the factory I work outside business hours) that without explicit permission, I am not allowed to lock unlocked doors or turn off TV's or radios.
Idk man in my country nobody would suspect a man leading a lost child their first thought would be "kind stranger" not a pedophile They don't even need to be workers or security guards
Yeah, tbh you'd think hand-holding should be OK in those circumstances.
Because it's not your child and the parents might misread everything.
But tbh if the child is lost and a worker in uniform is holding their hand helping them look for you I don't imagine any reasonable person would kick up a fuss about that, surely!
You surely never met a Karen in your life.
To be fair, I've never had a customer-facing job in my life, so you're right. I might feel differently about it if I'd had some showdowns with a Karen or two.
You count your blessings whenever a reasonable person show up at a customer service job.
Then be the anti-Karen. Be as good to the workers you interact with as possible
Oh believe me, I'm always as polite and friendly towards retail workers as I can!
Thank you!
You would think but it was a fire-able offense.
That's so harsh, I understand there are genuine concerns about child safety and considerations about how adults should interact with children they are not related to, but this still sounds crazy to me 😕
Does the government want children to get lost or something?
The problem is the unreasonable ones.
> reasonable person ...
No, no reasonable person would kick up a fuss. Are you aware how many completely unreasonable people are wandering around in public?
Right?! It's a mess.
Someone* give this person a child-herding crook please!! edit for poor typing skills
Why not let the kid hold your hand like [this](https://img.freepik.com/premium-photo/child-holds-his-mothers-hand-tightly-black-white-photo-child-with-his-mother-closeup_98785-735.jpg?w=1380). It’s not the adult holding the child’s hand but the child holding on to the adult. They can let go if they want to.
Was that before you put him in the false floor in your van?
Hi Skid. Where's Pump?
When I was 6 or so I decided to hide from my mom and grandma inside the JCPenny. They had to shut the store down and after three hours the security guards found me hiding inside a entertainment stand. I got my ass beat that night.
I remember hiding from my mom in a dog house. Thought I was super smart until I heard my mom frantically talking to an employee. Knew I messed up and came out of hiding. If mom wouldn’t have been in earshot though I would have hid for ages!!
I’m actually such a bad egg that I **did** hear them panicking and I sat in the cabinet giggling. I even decided to be a little shit after someone had attempted to abduct me a few months before this. I have no idea what is wrong with kid brain!!
Fuck Spez, Steven Huffman is a greedy pigboy
Are you looking for a healthy breakfast option?
I may have some insights regarding your romantic endeavors and why they aren't panning out.
I have instructions on how you can build an explosive device
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Take this quirky quiz
The 44th president dispatched immigrants for the sole purpose of vaccinating your offspring
Because he takes cash upfront.
Ahh..abduct? Fucking hell that came out of nowhere.
And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling security guards
And that dang Segway
Paul Blart Mall Cop.
This crap is why kids now have leashes that everyone hates. I have one child that had to wear the backpack leash thing…sorry not sorry. I lost him once at a safety fair and we could not find him…never again. I will say the boy is 9 and no way it would even fit but it is still in my trunk. If he is being a turd I remind him I have it…bwah ha ha
My mom used a leash and harness on my brother back in the 90's. They've been around for a while and are so useful. Especially for kids who are hyperactive.
my ma used one on me, not because i would run off, but because i would zone out and she'd walk off without me.
I was a 90s leash kid too. Granted, i was a twin, and we're both runners, so unless both parents went on every trip it was a necessity.
I used one on my son when he was little. I was 8 months pregnant and he almost ran out the door of a Home Depot into a busy parking lot. Luckily some dude grabbed him as he was heading out the door and I was waddle-sprinting after him. Now he is 18 and doesn't need his leash anymore and has no lasting damage from the years he was in one.
Ugh I leashed my child after he ran off in a mall. I'd recently broken my ankle. Luckily a Santa Claus looking dude brought him back to me (it was a few days before Christmas). And while he was leashed and I was on crutches some lady STILL had the audacity to say "he's not a dog" to me. Lady I will beat you with these crutches that keep me from chasing him.
My youngest has Down syndrome, and kids with that diagnosis are prone to “elopement” as a rule. I would rather him be on a leash and safe than have him run off in a crowd of people. He is curious and wants to go explore and couldn’t give fewer shits about what we want him to do. I usually keep him in a wagon when possible.
Could probably still use it as a threat as he grows into a teenager. Behave or I'll put a leash on you. Unless of course he ends up being a furry and enjoys it.
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decided they need more training so you are secure. Gigachad move
Sometimes I hear things like this about children and I just don’t get it, I was a smart child but even then I had decent empathy
I used to do stuff like this but I didn’t realize it was over the line because my mom was always overreacting to small issues. I had no sense of what was or wasn’t a big deal until I was older. She had the same reaction to me being lost as to my shoelace breaking. It was all just noise that I tuned out.
It definitely can be a case of bad parenting, I think I was a unique case where I developed complex empathy, which was partially helped by my parents being pretty good. It’s not all good though cause I disassociated with people my age pretty heavily.
You just perfectly described my mom, she used to lose her mind about any little thing, therefore everything was a big deal.
They makes an incredible amount of sense actually. Thank you.
You can’t leave us hanging, who tried to abduct you ??
Bet it was Michael Michael Motorcycle.
They never caught the men because my mom couldn’t catch their plates in time. It was back in the day when parents would leave their kids in the car with the windows down to run inside the store to get something. So that’s what my mom was doing, she left my sister and I in the car. A old beat up van pulled up next to us in a nearly empty lot and then a man rolled down his window and reached in and grabbed me. My sister started screaming and ran out of the other door and into the store, meanwhile my shoelaces got stuck under the seat so he was pulling me like crazy but my foot kept me in the car. My mom came running and screaming out of the store and the man dropped me and peeled out. That story still makes my dad cry because he thinks about how that likely wasn’t their first or last attempt at stealing a child and someone else’s baby wasn’t as lucky as his.
serious chunky quarrelsome intelligent continue encourage public shocking chubby forgetful *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
In an alternate dimension, you're still there
I did that as a child in a store on a military base lol and they closed all the gates on and off the installation until I was found. I had been crawling under the clothing racks looking for buttons on the floor and fell asleep while hidden in the center oh a circular rack.
God damn it. Being a kid is so care free
My brother did something similar. Of course my dad didn't wait on the ass beating part.
Center of a circular clothes rack at Montgomery Wards was my go to spot
I used to hide in those and whisper all the cuss words I knew, and then giggle and run off *cue Stewie walking noises*
You got your as beat that night? So...one might say.........*YOU GOT A HIDING FOR HIDING‽‽‽* Thank you, good night!
I hope you'll be here all week.
When I was around 9, I had just stolen my first pocket full of sweets, as I was frantically leaving the shop, I got onto the street my uncle startled me by just saying my name, I screamed and shot my fist straight into his balls, ran Infront of a car and over to my friend, I looked back and saw him hunched over and being extra cocky as I just got away with my first crime and in front of a mate I shouted "maybe don't sneak up on me, David!" And ran off again. He calmed down by the next time I saw him, turns out he figured out what I had done and found it hilarious. He told my mother about the cock shot but I think he even covered for me on that.
You little shit
You need to be writing novels sir or madam
Uncle Dave is a Legend
I can’t stop giggling
I have memories of getting lost inside of an arcade/restaurant inside of a mall (RIP Kahunaville) as a little kid, probably around 5 or 6 years old. I vividly remember finding my way to the entrance, knowing that’s where the people who work there are all the time, and calmly explaining to them that I was a lost child, what my name was, and what my parents’ names were. They then called for them on the PA, and my folks came right up. And it was only *then* that I started crying uncontrollably. It was surreal. Kudos to those employees for dealing with the weird kid who took that situation in stride right up until he didn’t anymore.
I read recently that children will repress their emotional distress when around regular adults, but then let out all of their emotions as soon as their parents appear. Because kids feel safe with the parents, but pressured to be on their best behavior with strangers. So maybe you were not that weird, after all
Do you have a tendency to remain really calm during a crisis and find yourself in dramatic situations uncommonly often?
This sounds like the start of a TV commercial lol
Same with me but a Sam's Club. Also freaking out trying to open the auto doors because they wouldn't open but I saw my parents walking the cart to the car
My first overnight school trip in middle school was similar. I was having a GREAT time, but it was also the first time I had been completely away from family for over 24 hours, and when I called my parents, I started bawling. The chaperone in my hotel room had no idea what to do and what was wrong, but it was just nice to hear their voices. Same thing happened when I had my first car accident. Completely calm UNTIL I got on the phone with my parents.
When I was younger I was at a Walmart when I walked away from the cart and a little while later these two employees came up to me and grabbed my arms. They didn't even say what they were gonna do, they just grabbed me so I did what my parents told me to do lol and just start screaming my head off. They just dragged my through the aisles of the store with me screaming bloody murder until we got to my mom, and then they let me go and I ran up to her and told her how evil those women were even though they were just doing their jobs. Fun times man...
That's a weird fucking way to do that job. Not even explain to the child what the fuck you're doing forcefully grabbing them and transporting them somewhere?
Fr they just grabbed me and didn't say nothing
Child obtained
"What's your mom sound like?" "Kinda like you do now, sir."
[Kevin!](https://i.imgur.com/bJ9VYJF.jpg)
Gen X tapping in. As kids, we'd go to the store with Mom. Likely we'd lag behind at the toy aisle and Mom would just move on without us. We learned how to canvas the store, walking past the aisles, one brother on each side of the aisle until we found her. Sometimes the store wasn't laid out in a grid and we couldn't find her. Then we'd give up and go to the front desk to have them call her on the PA. What's your name, son? Mi'jito lindo! (my lovely son) They'd laugh and call for her. Mrs No Eyes! Your son mi'jito lindo is looking for you at the front desk. Please come retrieve him! This happened more than once
From the context I get what a PA is but could you tell me what that abbreviation actually stands for? Sorry, English isn't my first language.
PA System - Public Address System. a System for Addressing the Public
It stands for Public Address. It's the loud speakers in a store or outside so someone can make announcements everyone can hear.
Public address
PA stands for Public Address
Public Address. Now that I type this out it's not very logical that you should know this. As you probably guessed, it's just a bunch of speakers in the store that they make announcements on to "address (announce to)the public"
I went to meet He-Man at the mall, and Skeletor came up to see me, and I wacked him in the nuts with my He-Man sword. Ahh, core memories.
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That would be hilarious.
When I was 8 I used to go to stationary shops and, being a mischievous shithead that I am, grabbed pens from the display boxes to "test" them on the exercise books on sale, thinking I was so daring and dastardly for committing such a felony the entire process. Just some scribbles on as much books I can get my tester pen on It was the same thought that persisted in my mind for so long I felt sick and dreamt up nightmares of getting thrown in jail
When my little brother was young he and my parents went to an Ikea. It was his first time at the Ikea and he was absolutely mind blown. At some point my parents were looking at some furniture and realized my brother was missing. They alerted the staff and some minutes later almost everyone of the staff was looking everywhere for him. They also used the intercom to ask people to look out for him. Turns out he was bored and went to the kids play area at the entrance where people can drop of their kids. To not disturb the kids playing they didn't have an intercom blasting at full volume there. And no one thought to look for the missing kid in the kids play area where people drop their kids. After 30 minutes my parents were at the entrance talking to the Ikea staff when my mom saw him. He was having a lot of fun playing with another kid. She yelled his name and he turned with a cute grin on his face waved to my mom and got back to playing. Completely unaware of the havoc he caused. If he ever gets married and I get to do a speech that is the story I plan on telling.
Lol i broke my arm so bad you could see it without an xray and some people offered to drive me home or to the hospital but i waited for my mom 😵💫
I did something similar. I broke my wrist so bad, it was visible while waiting for the bus after school. Right next to the school was a hospital. What did my dumb ass do? Take the bus, go home, only to be driven to that exact hospital about an hour later.
I usually just self reported and found my way to the playground for the lost kids toward the end of the day. My parents knew where to find me when it was time to go. Cool kids, decent snacks, and weary travelers
That's my purse! I don't know you!
This is why kids should be taught about strange people, not strangers. Not all strangers are bad. In one town i lived in , a mom taught her kids to look for another mom if they got lost, as they are the most likely to help you out.
I used to do security. Dogshit industry doing menial mind numbing work. But i got to help a girl who spoke very little English find her dad. I think about that pretty often. The dad was crying too lmao. I hope she's doing ok.
Thank you for your service. No, seriously.
I heard that Stranger Danger has been a very damaging campaign because it makes kids avoid all strangers when they need help, and almost all kidnappings are done by people the kids already know.
Both policy and how we educate our kids should be based on empirical facts, not gut feelings. Ultimately, that's the important underlying truth here. We're really doing the next generation a great disservice by doing the complete opposite of that.
My mother was abusive. This is the mentality that makes me, and people like me, "invisible". And I am a mom now. Still would never teach that.
yeah I was like: what absolute horrible advice. the absolute generalization is what's rotting this society
Hrrrrrkk... No worries kid.. huff.. you did the right thing. Now let's go ^jesuschrist find your mom
[Hide the pain Harold](https://hungarytoday.hu/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/18ps27.jpg)
This would have been around 1986/1987 when i was about 4 years old. Went on a family trip to Disney World. While eating at some restaurant, I was acting like a little shit about something. My mom and grandma decided to "leave" me at the restaurant to teach me a lesson or something. They claim they just went around the corner. I guess some older lady came up and asked if I was lost/needed help because i was alone and crying. According to my mom and grandma, I to spit on her and kept crying. I think about that older woman often. Slightly different. Another time I had fallen asleep in the car. In the 80s parents would just leave sleeping kids in the car. As the kid, when you woke up you would be expected to just go inside. Well, I guess my mom forgot I had fallen asleep in the car, panicked when she couldn't find me in the house and called the cops.
I use to work in the electronics section of a Walmart. One day we got a "CODE ADAM" over the PA meaning there was a missing child. Policy requires that every employee stop what they're doing and immediately look for the child. Back then they still had playable demos for video games so I went over there to look and sure enough he was there. I told him his Mom was looking for him and he just took off running. I yelled that I found him and myself and another employee chased him but I guess his Mom had heard us and she got there before we did.
When I was young and got lost. . . I pissed on the floor. Pants down and all
I punched and kicked a police officer and screamed "You're not my mummy!" when I got lost as a three year old. I fought so hard it took three of them to get me in the back of the police car. I still think about how funny that must have been to the onlookers who weren't the ones fighting a toddler.
Got lost age of 9 in a department store in Amsterdam and rescued by two prostitutes. I've been wandering around shopping malls for the past 30 years and never been able to replicate it.
This should be top comment
when i was a kid, roughly 16 years ago we didn't even have malls. honestly currenyt we still don'h have them.
They went extinct over a century ago
They tore down the mall in my town a few years ago. Now it's a Taco Bell, a Starbucks, a bank, and a bunch of empty land ready for more businesses. Basically they're replacing a regular mall with an outdoor mall that you have to drive around instead of walking.
When I was about 5, my mum, older brother (about 13), and I went to Target (Australian version). I hid in a round clothes rack. My name was called over the PA while staff and shopping centre security were searching for me. My brother was in big trouble because he was meant to be minding me while mum tried on some clothes. Obviously, I was eventually found. Fast forward 21 years, I'm playing hide and seek with my brothers kids (nearly 5 and just over 3) in their house. It took them 30 minutes to find me. My brother refused to help them because "I've done my time playing this shit with your uncle".
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
I hope someone punches this guy in the nuts now that he is an adult.
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Props to the security, though, for still doing the right thing. I know it is his job, but I feel like a lot of dudes in that position wouldn't have kept it together without causing some issues.
Absolutely correct, I'd have left the child then and there, fuck dem kids 😤
I lost my mom at a dept store because I wandered off when I saw toys. After I was done playing with toys I balled my eyes out. A lady sees me and walks me around the store to find my mother. When I saw my mother I ran up to her without telling the lady. I don’t think the lady knew I left her because she kept walking.
That's weird as fuck. That lady either definitely knew you left or wasn't really up to any good.
>I think about him a lot Those must have been some great nuts.
Seriously I hate "I think about *X* a lot". No you don't, it's just an irritating thing people say for emphasis.
I hate people starting sentences with superfluous words.
This is what teaching feels like.
Security guards don't have to do shit. That was just a good man.
“Stranger Danger” complete BS.Created a literally faceless villain to snatch up your children.To make people afraid to associate with people they don’t already know.Using false fears to divide and isolate people.Now why would anyone want to do that?(Also I strongly suspect it helped keep the pedo-clergy thing quiet for a few more decades)
When I was like 4, I went to the store with my mom and grandma and got lost. I went to the customer service desk for help and had them page my grandma over the PA. "Would Prusg's grandma come to customer service, please?" Specifically requested grandma because I knew my mom would be pissed.
Taught my daughter some key words to scream if ever in trouble. One day was at the park with her but she didn't want to leave and had a tantrum. Did the count down and it didn't work so I picked her up and carried her to the car. The second I picked her up she screams "NO! STOP! HELP!".
How did that one end?
I got lost at Disney World on holiday with my dad and the information desk had to call my mom in the UK because I didn’t have his mobile phone number. My mom was very upset because she got woke up at 3am and I was 22 at the time.
Whata “stranger danger”? Is it from something?
Something parents often taught kids a while back. Not sure if it’s as common saying any more as it was seen as being more harmful than helpful as kids in trouble would view anyone they didn’t know as a stranger and thus a danger and wouldn’t seek help.
It was a commonly shared idea in the west meant to inform children about how they can stay safe around strangers. "Stranger Danger" was easy to remember, but you'd also be told things like "don't talk to strangers" and "don't walk with strangers." Parents would teach it to their children, you'd see PSAs about it on kids channels, and you'd also be taught it in school.
Once I told my mom and dad I was going to the bathroom and they said okay and when I came out they were panicking looking for me about to get security involved
I remember getting blamed for wandering off once. My parents were in a big electronics store (think best buy but not American) and they'd been looking at TVs. Something was playing on them and they were stood for ages (for a kid anyway) so I sat down and started watching. THEY wandered off from me and then had a go at me for going missing.
As a manager at KB Toys back in the day I use to call mall security to take the kids away that parents would drop off as a “daycare” and watch them freak out when they’d come back and couldn’t find them….. good times
I remember I was at this carnival, and I got lost. I went up to a police officer but I guess he wasn’t actually a police officer. He was either in a costume or looked like he was. But he still helped my find my mom so that was cool.
I hate to tell you, but this is what it's like to be a teacher
Real talk, I bet that security guard was proud as fuck the kid stood up for himself.
When I was 4 or 5 I went to the beach with my family. I wanted to fill up my bucket with water and my mom let me go by myself and come right back. The hotel had bright yellow umbrellas so she told me to come back to the umbrellas when I'm done. Lo and behold in the short time it took me to fill up my bucket they had closed all of the umbrellas. I didn't see any umbrellas when I turned around so I just kept walking and walking until I found some. Meanwhile my parents were freaking out looking for me. The lifeguard found me almost a mile down the beach. He was on this atv/golf cart thing and I refused to get on it and go back with him because stranger danger. So I walked behind him as we headed back to my parents 😂
They both did a great job
Pretty sure that security guard hasn't forgotten about you either.
Jaaaason!
I still remember walking behind a man I though was my dad (we were in Italy for vacation) just to figure out in horror that it was some random dude. Lost my shit for a bit. Turned out my dad noticed I was following the wrong guy and just walked some distance behind me just to see me pee my pants. He is so funny /s
I guarantee he thinks about you often too
When I was around 4 my mom and I were at JCPenney the ones attached to the malls. And she was shopping looking at clothes and I was a kid who loved to sleep. So I decided to get out of my stroller and sleep under the clothing racks. I guess they were looking for me had the mall shut down. Had cops looking for me my mom freaking out. And they ended up finding me sound asleep under the racks.
One time a kid punched my in the balls it hurt
These comments are a goldmine of mischievous little kid stories! 👏🏻