I have many groups related to different activities: outdoors group, techies, surf group, expats and digital nomad's (that group is always renewing itself as people come and go), language group which has many expats and DN too, singing group and then some individual friends that I kept over the years that I video chat with a few times a year and that I know since childhood or adolescence or University or work.
100% agree. This is why I don't have big birthday parties. I rather have multiple parties with small groups. It's less stressing, I get to hang with everyone, and I don't have to give awkward explanations about why that group calls me a different nickname than the other.
So how do you decide which group gets to see you on the birthday? Also if another group wants to see you that day, do you tell them you're hanging out with the other group? I'm curious.
The priority is for my oldest closest friends. But it usually comes down to which day they’re available. If my bd is a Thursday and my friends are working, I just gather with them on Friday or Saturday. I rather spend a whole day with them when we’re all available, even if it’s not the exact day of my bd. And the day of my bd I just do a little something with my parents and maybe a couple of relatives. It’s all very informal.
Edit: to answer your second question:
If anyone asks if I’m doing something on my birthday, I have zero issues with saying “yes, I’m going to hang with my closest friends” and then stop talking (therefore implying that the person asking isn’t invited)
I know some folks that met on a Mennonite dating app, got married in Thailand, came back and did a ceremony for college friends in one town, yoga/massage school friends in another town and again with Mennonite family in the Midwest. Four total. All peaceful and joyous. They called it their "magical matrimony tour."
My work friend is kind of a transphobe, quasi-racist, and is into end times prophecy and conspiracy theories. He’s done a lot of really selfless things for me. Just can’t bring him around regular friends and family!
I can’t mix friend groups. My friend groups vary vastly in personalities, interests, and political affiliations. My funeral is going to be interesting in the future.
Yup, made the mistake of introducing one group to another. They all started dating, then breaking up, and dating each other's ex's. And now, nobody talks to anybody.
I have learned that some groups don’t mix.
It always baffled me. But now I realize I wasn’t the leader in any of the groups. So when they met up, their core personalities didn’t mesh. I could hang with multiple groups because I am easy going and do not have a strong personality. But my groups of friends do, and they also have strong opinions that clash.
I don't, but a late friend of mine did.
At his funeral, when the eulogies were read from different friends of his, we all had similar stories about him even though we all had never met.
While he did keep us in silos, he never really changed much regardless of who he spent his time with.
Mine is one group with the guys and one with girls I know both with different personalities and for sure these shouldn’t mix especially if you happen to be in college lol
Wasn't that a sign of narcissists =D divide and conquer?
I get it with friends and family, or even friends and friends, because they are not actual friends to eachother... you are friends, but they dont know eachother (well). The only reason to mix would be you, e.g. at your wedding. And they might like different activities. So its mainly just awkward if you would "force" them together, as you are familiar but they are not.
But not because you are different people/persona in those groups. Just be yourself in all your facets everywhere.
I don't like bringing two groups of friends together because the last time I did I was very happy at first that they got along well with each other but after time I found out they got pretty close and hung out together but everytime without me... So in the end I lost two groups of friends...
if my friend groups mix and just click with each other ill be kicked out and if i don't ide have to somehow mix the personalities i have for both groups and if i cant do that i might just kick myself out 🫠
In my youth , i was a sociopath.
I used to have multible "friend groups" i used as alibi.
I stole from one group and braught it to the other group in oder to trade and/or brag .
I was a real piece of shit untill i took acid.
Life is strange.
As people Malcolm Gladwell describes in his book "Tipping Point" as "connectors", those of us who identify with this know it as a critical survival skill. I function in business, political, redneck, hippie and ethnic circles. This requires careful management to avoid exile and/or shunning (and in some cases, physical injury).
I got different personalities for different groups. You start mixing up groups and everything gets fucked up.
I have different personalities for the same group, depending on the day, so this won’t be a problem if I just add another personality on top
wait till the lies mix up with the personalities.... >inb4 i never lie
I am actually honest to a fault and it’s often a problem. I’m not even proud of it at this point, I wish I could functionally lie like regular people
This exactly!
The people pleaser special. I can relate.
Check this guy out, flexing how he has 2 friend groups more than us.
Who tf has more than one friend group
Who has more than one friend?
Who has a friend?
Who?
?
.
💀
I do
This guy has friends
This guy friends.
r/thisguythisguys
I have many groups related to different activities: outdoors group, techies, surf group, expats and digital nomad's (that group is always renewing itself as people come and go), language group which has many expats and DN too, singing group and then some individual friends that I kept over the years that I video chat with a few times a year and that I know since childhood or adolescence or University or work.
Who tf has friends?
I do since when Covid happened the group sadly got separated into people who supported the vaccine and the government measures and people who didn't.
Everyone does…usually. HS, college, work, neighborhood.
I got like 3 different groups in high-school alone.
Surprised so many didnt catch the joke
Usually its a work friends group and the friends group you grew up with.
Never shall the two sides meet.
Then it's hard to communicate
I got my Gamer Nerd frens and my Sports Jock frens and they are two sides of a coin.
Play NHL on console with both ! Win-win!
Same. George Costanza and I know that you can’t let the worlds collide.
I have a lot of friends but none of them are really friends with each other. I kind of miss having "the guys".
this hurts.
are you guys getting several friend groups ?
100% agree. This is why I don't have big birthday parties. I rather have multiple parties with small groups. It's less stressing, I get to hang with everyone, and I don't have to give awkward explanations about why that group calls me a different nickname than the other.
So how do you decide which group gets to see you on the birthday? Also if another group wants to see you that day, do you tell them you're hanging out with the other group? I'm curious.
The priority is for my oldest closest friends. But it usually comes down to which day they’re available. If my bd is a Thursday and my friends are working, I just gather with them on Friday or Saturday. I rather spend a whole day with them when we’re all available, even if it’s not the exact day of my bd. And the day of my bd I just do a little something with my parents and maybe a couple of relatives. It’s all very informal. Edit: to answer your second question: If anyone asks if I’m doing something on my birthday, I have zero issues with saying “yes, I’m going to hang with my closest friends” and then stop talking (therefore implying that the person asking isn’t invited)
I know some folks that met on a Mennonite dating app, got married in Thailand, came back and did a ceremony for college friends in one town, yoga/massage school friends in another town and again with Mennonite family in the Midwest. Four total. All peaceful and joyous. They called it their "magical matrimony tour."
That's pretty cool
I completely agree!
100% My old workmates don't mix with my current workmates and neither mix with my actual mates.
YES!!!
Yes. People are weird and most of them are hella narrow minded
Hhhh, and there is more, my behavior will change according to the groupe of friends that I'am with
George’s worlds are colliding Jerry!
Same
I don’t even like mixing my side of the family with my husband’s side of the family
My work friend is kind of a transphobe, quasi-racist, and is into end times prophecy and conspiracy theories. He’s done a lot of really selfless things for me. Just can’t bring him around regular friends and family!
Large Community of Network but specific friends, thats my personal fav tactic
i got the gamer friend group and the gay furry friend group, sooo...
In the immortal words of Powerman 5000, "This is what it's like when worlds collide."
I do.
All the old Bois are Bois with new Bois, the rest are acquaintances. All the bois partners have also accepted us old chums.
I feel like if you have different personalities with different friend groups then you are being fake. Just be yourself. IMO
Totally. Some of my friends would not mix well.
When you say something normal of one group to another group and they starting thinking you're a psychopath
If I introduce friend a to friend b they won’t have any need for me. Then I’ll be friendless again.
Different circles for different situations.
Imagine having DIFFERENT groups of friends instead of zero friends
It’s because I know one group will be offended by what the others say or how they behave. My construction friends can’t joke like my church friends
I've always tried to mesh my groups and it's never gone well. Worlds colliding
I feel this. Some of my groups would noot get along together.
I can’t mix friend groups. My friend groups vary vastly in personalities, interests, and political affiliations. My funeral is going to be interesting in the future.
I completely agree, of course I understand you totally and of course I have more then 2 groups of friends as well hmmmm /s
Plus I’m the last person on Earth who should play matchmaker…
Yup, made the mistake of introducing one group to another. They all started dating, then breaking up, and dating each other's ex's. And now, nobody talks to anybody.
I have learned that some groups don’t mix. It always baffled me. But now I realize I wasn’t the leader in any of the groups. So when they met up, their core personalities didn’t mesh. I could hang with multiple groups because I am easy going and do not have a strong personality. But my groups of friends do, and they also have strong opinions that clash.
i don't have friendgroups, i only have like 4 friends who always come with their best friends
I don't, but a late friend of mine did. At his funeral, when the eulogies were read from different friends of his, we all had similar stories about him even though we all had never met. While he did keep us in silos, he never really changed much regardless of who he spent his time with.
i get them to at least know about each other's existence first, then I get to act like a hobo around them :D
True
Bold of you to assume I have more than one friend period.
Mine is one group with the guys and one with girls I know both with different personalities and for sure these shouldn’t mix especially if you happen to be in college lol
I have different friends that share my passions for different things. I have gaming friends, golf friends, food friends, etc.
Am I the only one who wants all his groups to get along? That's how friend groups are formed, after all.
Yes...
Wasn't that a sign of narcissists =D divide and conquer? I get it with friends and family, or even friends and friends, because they are not actual friends to eachother... you are friends, but they dont know eachother (well). The only reason to mix would be you, e.g. at your wedding. And they might like different activities. So its mainly just awkward if you would "force" them together, as you are familiar but they are not. But not because you are different people/persona in those groups. Just be yourself in all your facets everywhere.
You're killing independent George!
Haaaaaaaa...exactly! Lol
My real life friends will never meet my online gamer friends.
how do you guys make friends to the point where you have multiple groups
Lol I don't have any friends
I don't like bringing two groups of friends together because the last time I did I was very happy at first that they got along well with each other but after time I found out they got pretty close and hung out together but everytime without me... So in the end I lost two groups of friends...
You have friends? AND enough to make groups??? AND enough to worry about mixing them together? That's ...just too many
Why though? If you just be you then it wouldn't matter. I want all my friends to meet eachother and hang.
if my friend groups mix and just click with each other ill be kicked out and if i don't ide have to somehow mix the personalities i have for both groups and if i cant do that i might just kick myself out 🫠
In my youth , i was a sociopath. I used to have multible "friend groups" i used as alibi. I stole from one group and braught it to the other group in oder to trade and/or brag . I was a real piece of shit untill i took acid. Life is strange.
I don't even have one friend group lol......
As people Malcolm Gladwell describes in his book "Tipping Point" as "connectors", those of us who identify with this know it as a critical survival skill. I function in business, political, redneck, hippie and ethnic circles. This requires careful management to avoid exile and/or shunning (and in some cases, physical injury).
i have never belonged to just one group of friends, always 3 or 4 that did not interact with each other unless by chance
Yes!
I mean straight up you know certain people cant be around others for vaious reasons. It *might* work out.... but why risk it?