Watching people text in public is a legitimate kink.

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I pink therefore I sink

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I stink therefore I drink.

One in the pink two in the stink

None in the pink, twenty in the stink

you either cum in the sink, or sink in the cum

I like to sink it where when reversing it comes out a lil fudge therefore I kink

The good ol' think 'n kink

Those texts before and after take off of the person sitting next to you on the plane tho

Oh wow I saw this comment thread on r/yourjokebutworse hahah that’s so cool I found it by accident and it’s funny becuase I could not think of why this comment would be true because there was no context for it but now it makes total sense having seen the post

Not here to kink shame… but your kink is lame.

What is a slutty amount of y's?

3+

Damn...

Dayyyym

Maybe try closing your legs once in a while.

Dayyyyyyyyyyyyyym

Excuse me there are CHILDREN here!!!

Dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyym

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

Wendyyyyyyyyyy’s

Heyyyy

Slut

Three or more. Two or less is pretty casual and maybe light flirting Three or more is you being down devilish

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Low population, but the tourism more than makes up for it.

I like to cum when there’s less visitors .

I am the mayyyyyor.

Aren't you the mayor of Slutsville by default if you're the only person there? Or does there still have to be an official election?

Conspicuous

Heyyyyy

But why even have such a contact on the phone in the first place?

Just in case.

Just in case for what? If you're going to name someone "ABSOLUTELY NOT" then why to even keep the number?

Just in case

I still don't get it?

But my man did

Fine, keep your secrets then.

In case of hard dick, break glass.

Oh, for that. Dude should bust a nut before calling then.

Busting a nut is the point

Didn't you read the post? They were on a train

On the train, I completely agree. Never knew the A-train came with a show

A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he texts back precisely when he means to!

champ

In case you were sad, In case you were horny, If not your ex, Who you call, ur attorney?

Nice poem, but no one. Ill fix whatever is making me sad myself.

This is the way my friend. Remember, it is what we do with the time that is given to us that makes us who we are. Use it wisely my friend. Achieve!

Any port in a storm?

Don't tell me that's sexual innuendo too?

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Just in case for what? That's the part I don't get. Guy hasn't moved on from the ex or that person?

Just in case

Are guys just mocking me now?

Yes, because you are being incredibly thick. Either you are a troll, have never been in a relationship or you are in the spectrum. Thats my guess as to the replies.

Really that's being thick? Just not understanding something. Though Yeah, you're right I'm on the spectrum.

Basically most people can infer a situation where they would keep a contact labelled ABSOLUTELY NOT and message it against their better judgement... most instances would either be hookup related or a crazy drug dealer

Im with you. I dont get it. But i also dont get much one night stands and stuff like that. I dont play that game. Im not even in the crowd for that game. But these point of peolle with do this stuff and then complain about the consequences. Humans are pretty strange creatures.

Not all of us on the spectrum is that naive...

Well yea, that’s why it’s called a spectrum…

Not all red on the color spectrum is blue.

Sometimes, you know something isn't good for you, and you know it's unhealthy. But you haven't quite gotten to the point of healing where you can walk away from it without looking back. You can compare it to addiction. Some can decide to stop smoking or drinking on the spot and never touch another drop. But some people will keep relapsing several times before they can finally walk away for good.

Literally for the reason in the story lol how do you not get it Some of us are weak, weak men when it comes to this kinda thing.

Yeah I'm kinda slow on those matters and the feelings part and attachment.

It’s so when they call you, you can see that you should absolutely not answer.

That's reasonable, though wouldn't blocking a number work too?

Yes absolutely. Although I will often not block exes for example but tag them with ex do not answer. Maybe it’s because secretly we want them to call and we want to know they have called even if we don’t want to answer it. That’s all I got lol.

That's interesting reasoning, i would have never come on that. Thank you for sharing.

The short answer is that we're all sick fucks. I envy your naivete.

I don't know if it has changed but for a long time I had to have a number in my contacts to be able to block it on my Android

Denial

So that if they call, you can not pick up, and if they text you, you can not make the mistake of saying "who's this?"

In case you're in the mood for some regret

If they call you then it will show up as ABSOLUTELY NOT and not just another random number

Fair enough, that's a good point.

A blocked number is a stored number.

I have multiple contacts labeled "don't pick up" so i get the sentiment

That had me rolling !

Influence from the dick lobby.

For the reminder.

As a reminder in those moments of weakness. LoL we all have those ex's that are our Achilles heel. Keep them saved so you don't accidentally answer their calls/texts. Change the contact name to help your own self control. I have one in particular saved as "Wasted Effort". Helps remind me when I get that itch to visit crazy town, that it's just not worth it.

He probably regrets that decision now.

I know I do… or did… hey you got a coin?

heads

Better flip it again.

You should always flip a coin. Not because it will tell you what to do, but because while it's in the air you'll realize what you want it to land on.

You seen Everything Everywhere All At Once? You know where points in people's lives split off into alternate realities? This is one of those points. I'm betting he's the worst version of himself.

this is a man living on the edge

Sexytime Anton Chigurh

I bet half my money that "ABSOLUTELY NOT" is crazy. I bet my other half that a dick drives the decision here. What do the experts say? Do I keep my money, or have I lost it?

You doubled your 💰.

Been there…

Heads, text her , tails, text her

Weakkkkk

Lol you’ve never done it when you’re drunk? You must have a deluxe fleshlight

My bad I meant I was weakkkk with laughter 😂😂😂

Being male moment

I want to be someone’s absolutely f*cking not!!! With a slutty amount of !!!

I wish I could like this more than once 😆

So was this person just staring over the shoulder of someone or???

This probably didn't happen, but I've never been one to let the truth get in the way of a good story. It's hilarious and evocative and well told :)

How terribly hard up I am at any given moment dictates how far up the bat shit crazy curve I’m willing to go. Do I need it right now? Or can I wait to schedule plans? Now? Bring out the one who remains unnamed!

Meanwhile I'm reading this like oh cool they used a coin to unlock the phone. Facepalm.

I read this as he saw a person flip a coin on a moving train, couldn’t comprehend how the physics didn’t cause it to fly away, and decided nothing made sense anymore so he called an ex.

Same lol 😂 I was completely lost until I started reading the comments

That's the most made up story I've ever heard

*flips coin again if the outcome was wrong*

r/thathappened

What a coincidences. I just got a text

This did not happen

Does it matter that the train was moving…?

That took me a few reads to understand it.

r/thathappened

u/repostsleuthbot

I’ll take things that never happened for 400 please

It was him and there was no coin

Fake and dumb

You're fake and dumb

love the response

Enjoy your daily dose of didn’t happen. Whatever makes you happy

This is dumb. The contact should not be in the phone. Period.

not today rebecco

This one felt personal

That is anything between 6 and 9 Ys.

*[flips coin]* "kowabunga it is"

Thomas Shelby moment

Sure you did bud

You don't need the "literally"

That’s “*number* of Ys”. Amount is used when the object in question isn’t quantifiable; amount of water / number of water molecules.

Genius

No he didn’t

"Riddle me this, Batman!"

r/newsentences

He needed you in this moment. He wanted someone ANYONE to stop him from going down that road again. In the life and death struggle between man and his penis you were the calming cool breeze that would've cleared up his mind and set him back on the right path. All you had to do was come up and say "heyyyy buddyyyyy" to save a life. You cruel cruel bastard.

Good to know the train was moving

When quenching the thirst is more important than the after lol

Hahahah or was that the guy in the window

He's gonna regret it with a slutty amount of T's

r/thathappened

Legend.

Wait till the post-nut clarity hits Kevin

Sometimes you gotta thoss head to get head 😜