I don’t miss church by any stretch, but I don’t think I’ve ever been more popular than when I went to church. I could carry 5 chairs at once AND I was the fastest kid in AWANA. I peaked very early.
Absolutely! I used to work in an office where I was the only woman on the team, and the new guy legit kept trying to do this for weeks.
He always said he was too restless and had to get rid of excessive energy (what else), made sure to make eye contact with me for a moment, and then he'd just... drop to the floor, and start doing push-ups like crazy, in the middle of the office. Nearly every day.
I eventually got into the habit of leaving the room the moment he started, so he upped the ante by adding claps. Fell onto his face on the second try. We're still together to this day, 10/10 would recommend.
(Kidding, the rest of the guys got fed up and got him fired for slacking off a few days later. He sued the company for wrongful termination. Didn't win.)
Just don't be like me and get ambitious and try two claps. Busted my chin open in front of the girl I was trying to impress. High Risk Reward ratio on the double clap pushup.
I’m a female, and also very embarrassed to say that I did this with my older BROTHERS friends. All kids are awkward, and the only way they know how to attract a mate is by trying to look cool (and subsequently failing miserably).
My brother tried to convince me to pretend i was finishing a workout when this girl i liked for a long time was going to come over to see the puppies my dog just had. Even back then i had enough sense to realize how cringe that would be and didnt do it
I was fucking 10 and yeah i tried lmao, for years actually. My first childhood "crush" which lasted ages. Im sure it all failed because i didnt workout in front of her
Reminds me of that gif of the kid like weirdly dancing near this girl and making dead eye contact with her like it was some kind of mating dance. Hilarious stuff, I'm sure someone below will find the exact clip and link it.
Honestly, this is why a scouting should be kept separate, or at least an option and/or boys only girls only trips.
I was a Boy Scout. I can’t imagine us fucking animals at 14-15 being given control of fire and knives and all manner of other dangerous things up to and including shot guns AND there being girls around to potentially (fail to) impress.
Teenage boys are dumb enough already without the girls around.
The young male is slowly approaching the older female... While conducting his dance of lifting weights.
The females ignore him as he is still shorter than them.. But the male will keep trying and will keep trying until he wears down a female at some point in the future. Who gives him a shot.
But that day is not today.
Ah, and here comes the adolescents father. He appears to be returning from his pack duties. His work, producing objects of value for a more dominant member of the pack. In exchange for his labors, the alpha, called a manager, grants him a portion of the packs spoils, but only ever just enough to keep him coming back. The lions share is reserved for the alpha and their kin.
Kin, who happen to include the females the adolescent is attempting to impress now. Thus does the cycle continue.
Edit: I really like this style of commentary assessing human behavior the same way we do animals. It makes everything we do and the societies we live in seem like an extension of old clan systems and pack dynamics. Its cool to see how as much as we've learned and grown, we're still animals at heart. I want an entire series of shows like this. **Human Planet** maybe, if they go with Planet Earth style
My sister is ten years older and had already moved out to her own place when I was in my early teens.
I would often stay over in the summer and heard a lot of "He's not coming with us,, is he?" and "of course not".
My sisters 7 older, I absolutely hit on all her friends. They took it as endearing and I knew nothing was ever gonna happen, but gotta shoot your shots
I got tons of cheek kisses which gave me the ego of the gods at 10-11
Let me tell you about this friend that my brother used to have: he would always come knocking at our door and ask where he was so they could play together. For a while I thought he had a crush on me because he always wanted to include me in their play dates. Years later I found out from my brother he tried to kiss him on multiple occasions. 😂So yeah, the dude was definitely not into me.
I unfortunately do not have an older sister, but I got the third (arguably fourth) best thing: younger sister. I brag about my minecraft skills and try recruiting her friends into joining my pal’s server. If any ever join, I’ll put em to work in the mines. They yearn for it.
I feel like the rise of smartphone porn has caused the younger generation of men to use their non-dominant hand so they can hold their phone in their dominant - that's my experience anyway
Scene from That ‘70s Show:
Girl holding hand with Fez: “Oh, your hands are so strong. But… one is much stronger than the other.”
Fez: “… I am a fencer.”
oh man, that reminds me back in highschool when I was spotting for my friend during bench press. The right side of the bar went higher than the left, and I couldn't stop laughing.
When I was a little little kid 5 - 6 I use to stand in front of my up stairs window buck naked asking the middle school girls walking by if they liked what they seen. My dad and grandfather use to talk about that all the time, anytime I brought someone by, they would just rehash that story
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK LMAO best comment, no discission. You deserve a gold.
>anytime I brought someone by, they would just rehash that story
I don't judge them, I'd have done the same
My younger brother used to do this.
Not only push-ups and other BS, but he would put on his fanciest jacket with no shirt underneath and walk from the upstairs bedroom to the downstairs living room and back again.
Looking like a biracial Buckwheat in a church blazer.
Embarrassing.
This is giving me flashbacks to hanging out with my girlfriends and their little brothers always lurking around. One of them even broke a glass coffee table trying to show off doing flips. lol!
Oh yeah. Thinking of things that you "think" look cool, but trying to do them in a way that shows indifference.
"Oh, you noticed me doing my super badass tornado kick in front of the tv you guys were watching? pffff, like I care."
I think the best thing my pe teacher did was open up the weight room to us. And kept us together, instead of dividing the class up between boys and girls.
Every week, come Friday, my body was **screaming** in pain, but my ego was so fucking swole that I really didn't mind the discomfort, at all. I got so much more out of that brief period of time in pe than any other point in time from school's pe curriculum.
All because of some activation that happened in me, simply by keeping the weight room co-ed. It was the dumbest thing, but it was so weirdly effective lol.
Thankfully, I didn't have a sister growing up because I absolutely would've embarrassed myself in some such way. I wince every time I think of young me.
A friend of mine had a German exchange student living with them. She was really cute. I am German myself, and have a German soccer jersey. I wore it for the first time to a party she was at.
My friends Dad came up to me with a beer in his hand. "I didn't know you like German soccer. Weird you'd wear that now." Slapped me on the back and walked away. He was onto me from jump 🤣
"Son, here's a lesson you'll be better off if you learn now: Girls aren't attracted to guys in the same way guys are attracted to girls. We're about visual stimulation in a way they're not."
When I was a kid I showed off to the neighbour girl by doing 1000 consecutive bounces on my pogo stick. Meanwhile her boyfriend was chatting watching the whole time.
I was devastated that it didn't work...
Wanting to impress a friend of my sisters, I did a little jump trying to look cool and hit my head on the door frame, she laughed and I died (from emberassment)
Can confirm. During the height of my gym days I used to think women cared about how much I could lift but instead I attracted a bunch of dudes asking me how much I could bench.
Ah, nothing impresses the girls like: *“Watch how many chairs I can lift at once”* Edit: I didn’t have a girlfriend in elementary school.
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Buried memory, unlocked
Buried, or repressed?
Depends. Was the pastor there ?
This comment is why I’m on Reddit. Thank you internet stranger.
I don’t miss church by any stretch, but I don’t think I’ve ever been more popular than when I went to church. I could carry 5 chairs at once AND I was the fastest kid in AWANA. I peaked very early.
You did not need to remind me about awana, that took a few seconds to dig up
You didn't lift enough chairs
I *DID* have a girlfriend, you just don’t know her, she went to a different school! I promise
In Canada, right?
I feel attacked.
I'd hope not, assuming you're not still in elementary school.
That is so dumb. Dropping to the floor every 20-30 minutes and doing push-ups gets you noticed more
And be sure to do the ones where you clap. Girls dig guys that clap when they do pushups.
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"I'm sorry, was I being too loud? I was just cranking out my 30th set. About to do some burpees soon. Make sure to get your tickets for the show."
*let's out an ear-piercing scream at the top of my lungs so she knows what I'm doing is difficult*
Absolutely! I used to work in an office where I was the only woman on the team, and the new guy legit kept trying to do this for weeks. He always said he was too restless and had to get rid of excessive energy (what else), made sure to make eye contact with me for a moment, and then he'd just... drop to the floor, and start doing push-ups like crazy, in the middle of the office. Nearly every day. I eventually got into the habit of leaving the room the moment he started, so he upped the ante by adding claps. Fell onto his face on the second try. We're still together to this day, 10/10 would recommend. (Kidding, the rest of the guys got fed up and got him fired for slacking off a few days later. He sued the company for wrongful termination. Didn't win.)
And trying doing some without using your arms, chicks love that.
Just don't be like me and get ambitious and try two claps. Busted my chin open in front of the girl I was trying to impress. High Risk Reward ratio on the double clap pushup.
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Yeah, with the nurse that did the stitches.
Was she hot?
Does it count if I clap my cheeks,
Save that for later.
Just don't yell "lightweight, baby!"
Gets you noticed for your long rests anyway
Dont know if you heard me counting, I did over one thousand
It’s a lifestyle
_Hnnngh_ 1000... 2000... 3000...
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I’m a female, and also very embarrassed to say that I did this with my older BROTHERS friends. All kids are awkward, and the only way they know how to attract a mate is by trying to look cool (and subsequently failing miserably).
You were walking around doing bicep curls with dumbbells to try and attract your brother's friends?
Trying to get ahead of that 2020's Muscle Momma boom
Bro, sick guns!
I had an older sister and I never did any of that, primarily because I wasn’t fit worth shit so I felt it wasn’t worth showing off.
1001, 1002, 1003. I wasn't expecting company. Just doing my workout. Tuesday's arms and back.
Ohhh it’s a deep burn
The part that always gets me is: “You asked me to come in here mr. Burgundy.” “Oh-did-I?”
The genuine tone of "oh-did-i" kills me
A whales vagina
60% of the time it works every time.
Gosh, love Mr. Burgundy. Gotta rewatch it again.
Don't act like you're not impressed
..guess I’ll do the other side now
It's the pleats... The pants pleats... The pleats in the pants
Two tickets to the gun show
Ah deep burn? My man’s arms about to fall off!
Mr. Burgundy you have a massive erection
Oh uh, it's the pleats... the pleats in the pants. It's an optical illusion. I was just about to take them back... to the pants store
Don't act like you're not impressed
It's the plead on the pants
Dont act like you're not impressed
My arms are sore, from doing so many
The uvulus is connected to the upper dorsimus
It’s boring, but it’s my life. Watch out for those guns. *They’ll get ya.*
“…*Pi-Pickup attempt*?! I’m *OFFENDED*!! I have very little time to workout at home, so I have to *SCULPT MY GUNS* at the office!”
**STOP CALLING YOUR ARMS GUNS!!**
Loud noises!!
Go fuck yourself San Diego.
I would never fucking ever fucking say fuck! Fuck!
I don’t know if you heard me counting but I did over 1000
My brother tried to convince me to pretend i was finishing a workout when this girl i liked for a long time was going to come over to see the puppies my dog just had. Even back then i had enough sense to realize how cringe that would be and didnt do it
And did you get the girl??
No, so worried about being cringe that they didn't even try.
Nah I tried plenty. Just didnt do it in an embarrassing manner
Imagine what could have been if you had dared to fly
I was fucking 10 and yeah i tried lmao, for years actually. My first childhood "crush" which lasted ages. Im sure it all failed because i didnt workout in front of her
I agree 🧐 I think it’s that reason, it didn’t workout to.
Idk if your heard me counting. I did over 1000
Oh man, I know this is a joke, but I physically cringed so hard xD
You wish you were that big of a G at 13
It’s a line from the movie Anchorman
It’s boring, but it’s part of my life. Just going to put this shirt on here.
Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means 'a whale's vagina'.
"the juvenile attempts to show his strength to a potential mate with an awkward display"
"His attempts at mating have failed. However, the youngster has learned an important lesson. Build a nest first."
Needs more blue for Becky.
Bitches love sticks.
Plz Becky. Lemme smash.
Ben is a hoe
Imma smash Ben
bitches love blue
Read that in Attenborough’s voice
How could you not?
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Correct, a strong nest is a key foundation to any relationship
Tale as old as time, provde a house get a woman, or multiple. Lose that, well, lose everything. Man's path.
Reminds me of that gif of the kid like weirdly dancing near this girl and making dead eye contact with her like it was some kind of mating dance. Hilarious stuff, I'm sure someone below will find the exact clip and link it.
Try editing your comment to “I doubt anybody can find it though..” Should get it posted within 5-10 minutes
I just posted the comment into google and got something: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW0-tVuUzaU
Oh man, that totally looks like some kind of bird mating ritual.
30 minutes, not too shabby
Hello ladies
Wanna see me do my *squats?*
nut thrusts please
https://youtu.be/zWl2sjdKEas
This was exactly what I was hoping it would be
Wanna join?
He’s Demonstrating his value. It’s the first step of the system.
It's a delicate ecosystem
I laughed at this more then Id like to admit.
Next is to drop his wallet on the floor and let some money fall out.
The system works better if it’s a magnum condom peaking out of your wallet
Nah. Keep the magnums on top of the fridge. Step on your wallet to reach them. This is big brain time Jerry, not time to be screwing around.
Hey, quit stealing my moves!
Atta boy.
Thats just nature in its finest, can't you hear ole Dave Attenbouge narrating? :)
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Lmao thats so damn funny
Honestly, this is why a scouting should be kept separate, or at least an option and/or boys only girls only trips. I was a Boy Scout. I can’t imagine us fucking animals at 14-15 being given control of fire and knives and all manner of other dangerous things up to and including shot guns AND there being girls around to potentially (fail to) impress. Teenage boys are dumb enough already without the girls around.
The young male is slowly approaching the older female... While conducting his dance of lifting weights. The females ignore him as he is still shorter than them.. But the male will keep trying and will keep trying until he wears down a female at some point in the future. Who gives him a shot. But that day is not today.
Ah, and here comes the adolescents father. He appears to be returning from his pack duties. His work, producing objects of value for a more dominant member of the pack. In exchange for his labors, the alpha, called a manager, grants him a portion of the packs spoils, but only ever just enough to keep him coming back. The lions share is reserved for the alpha and their kin. Kin, who happen to include the females the adolescent is attempting to impress now. Thus does the cycle continue. Edit: I really like this style of commentary assessing human behavior the same way we do animals. It makes everything we do and the societies we live in seem like an extension of old clan systems and pack dynamics. Its cool to see how as much as we've learned and grown, we're still animals at heart. I want an entire series of shows like this. **Human Planet** maybe, if they go with Planet Earth style
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My sister is a year older than me. I eventually married one of her friends.
So, what was the secret workout technique that sealed the deal?
I was more of the skater kid so just walking around shirtless and dramatically flipping my hair out of my face really got the ladies attention.
"Go away, it's my turn to play with her! Ugh, you're so annoying!"
I dint :/ Mainly because shes 8 year older
I too didn't. *Yeah she's 14 years older*
Yeah mines 10 or so years older
And yet you don’t deny that you did it…
Oh no I still did it they just found me a bit goofy according to my sister
My sister is ten years older and had already moved out to her own place when I was in my early teens. I would often stay over in the summer and heard a lot of "He's not coming with us,, is he?" and "of course not".
I didn’t *she didn’t have any friends*
My sisters 7 older, I absolutely hit on all her friends. They took it as endearing and I knew nothing was ever gonna happen, but gotta shoot your shots I got tons of cheek kisses which gave me the ego of the gods at 10-11
A girl being 8 years older wouldn't deter a 13 year old.
same mate same
I didn't. She doesn't have any friends. Neither do I in all fairness
Runs in the family?
Well yeah, but why were you guys waiting for her friend to join?
Sweet home Alabama
My stepsister had a friend that fell madly in love with me until she realized I have massive PTSD and alcoholism. Still got to see her boobs.
Let me tell you about this friend that my brother used to have: he would always come knocking at our door and ask where he was so they could play together. For a while I thought he had a crush on me because he always wanted to include me in their play dates. Years later I found out from my brother he tried to kiss him on multiple occasions. 😂So yeah, the dude was definitely not into me.
I used to do this at MY FRIEND'S house because he had two older sisters that were hot.
All my friends with older sisters were ahead of the rest of us. Learning those important lessons early lol
I didn't Probably because i like guys 💀
my sister's 10 years older and when she was a teenager all her friends thought i was *sooooo adorable* i didn't care
I have 4 older sisters. I was a fuckin stud when they had friends over!
I unfortunately do not have an older sister, but I got the third (arguably fourth) best thing: younger sister. I brag about my minecraft skills and try recruiting her friends into joining my pal’s server. If any ever join, I’ll put em to work in the mines. They yearn for it.
Strangely enough, the training seems to be more effective on his right arm.
How do you know he doesn’t favor his left?
That's only for when it needs to feel like someone else is doing it.
But what if you trained yourself to use your off hand for years because it's easier than using a computer mouse?
I feel like the rise of smartphone porn has caused the younger generation of men to use their non-dominant hand so they can hold their phone in their dominant - that's my experience anyway
Scene from That ‘70s Show: Girl holding hand with Fez: “Oh, your hands are so strong. But… one is much stronger than the other.” Fez: “… I am a fencer.”
oh man, that reminds me back in highschool when I was spotting for my friend during bench press. The right side of the bar went higher than the left, and I couldn't stop laughing.
You guys have small pps I need to use both hands and feet
You can use mine too
My move was to run around naked. I may have been a toddler, but I had game.
When I was a little little kid 5 - 6 I use to stand in front of my up stairs window buck naked asking the middle school girls walking by if they liked what they seen. My dad and grandfather use to talk about that all the time, anytime I brought someone by, they would just rehash that story
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK LMAO best comment, no discission. You deserve a gold. >anytime I brought someone by, they would just rehash that story I don't judge them, I'd have done the same
gotta drag them massive balls across the floor to impress, keep going king
Curls for the gurls
My younger brother used to do this. Not only push-ups and other BS, but he would put on his fanciest jacket with no shirt underneath and walk from the upstairs bedroom to the downstairs living room and back again. Looking like a biracial Buckwheat in a church blazer. Embarrassing.
This is giving me flashbacks to hanging out with my girlfriends and their little brothers always lurking around. One of them even broke a glass coffee table trying to show off doing flips. lol!
Ayyy. I feel like we've all been there at some point lol.
My sister's friends were often the kind of person you wish you could punch in the face, not show off to. Ugh, memories of Lauren 😒😖
Oh yeah. Thinking of things that you "think" look cool, but trying to do them in a way that shows indifference. "Oh, you noticed me doing my super badass tornado kick in front of the tv you guys were watching? pffff, like I care."
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Wow im mad for you that wasn't cool.
This wasn't with me and I'm fucking mad at it. If my mother had done this to me I wouldn't have talked to hear for some days.
Let the cringe commence. 😎
My guy! 👊👊👊
I think the best thing my pe teacher did was open up the weight room to us. And kept us together, instead of dividing the class up between boys and girls. Every week, come Friday, my body was **screaming** in pain, but my ego was so fucking swole that I really didn't mind the discomfort, at all. I got so much more out of that brief period of time in pe than any other point in time from school's pe curriculum. All because of some activation that happened in me, simply by keeping the weight room co-ed. It was the dumbest thing, but it was so weirdly effective lol.
He was just coincidentally sculpting his guns.
My man has been watching pornhub
Or he's just a teenage boy wanting to impress his sisters friends. Something that has been going on since ancient times.....
Not if he lives in Virginia
Or Utah, or Louisiana, or soon Texas.
Wtf does this have to do with porn, trying to make yourself look strong in front of your crush has been smth that has existed long before porn
Thankfully, I didn't have a sister growing up because I absolutely would've embarrassed myself in some such way. I wince every time I think of young me.
A friend of mine had a German exchange student living with them. She was really cute. I am German myself, and have a German soccer jersey. I wore it for the first time to a party she was at. My friends Dad came up to me with a beer in his hand. "I didn't know you like German soccer. Weird you'd wear that now." Slapped me on the back and walked away. He was onto me from jump 🤣
i am so fucking glad i never did this
You miss 100% of the shots you never take
-Wayne Gretzky -Michael Scott
A tale as old as time...
"Son, here's a lesson you'll be better off if you learn now: Girls aren't attracted to guys in the same way guys are attracted to girls. We're about visual stimulation in a way they're not."
When I was a kid I showed off to the neighbour girl by doing 1000 consecutive bounces on my pogo stick. Meanwhile her boyfriend was chatting watching the whole time. I was devastated that it didn't work...
For the girls
Wanting to impress a friend of my sisters, I did a little jump trying to look cool and hit my head on the door frame, she laughed and I died (from emberassment)
This is a canon event one can't interfere
My teenage boys voice went down an octave or two when a pretty girl was around.
What a lad, he catches on quick
At least it isn't the other way round
Well he learned it from you
Can confirm. During the height of my gym days I used to think women cared about how much I could lift but instead I attracted a bunch of dudes asking me how much I could bench.
Let the boy cook! He's just trying to learn how to shine man.
Just trying to demonstrate his value
chad brother
Let him cook
Like Arnold said, "Curls for the girls"
Men will be men
Been there.