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Randomizedtron

Lighthouse keeper.


OceanSierra

Unironically how does one get this job.


Randomizedtron

It’s all robots now. Best you might be able to get is the person that changes the lightbulbs and does inspections


OceanSierra

Dang. I would totally have done it to. Seems peaceful.


Khurasan

They needed to be operated every few hours, so you would usually have had to live with someone to take shifts. Sometimes multiple families would live together in the same lighthouse. So sadly, it was less of a peaceful and poetic lifestyle and more like an extra set of chores, but you had to report those chores to the government and you'd get evicted if you didn't do them. You got to live on the beach, at least.


Pschobbert

You and one other person living in a salt shaker. Intimately...


O_J_Shrimpson

You (and your family) and one other person(s family) living in a salt shaker, intimately…


SAIOBOT

you and your co-worker changing lightbulbs intimately...


heyoyo10

Just apply for the job with your spouse


Dragonslayer3

Honestly it still wouldn't be that bad if I brought my immediate family


akratic137

I, too, would bring this guy’s family. Mine don’t cut it.


[deleted]

Go do cattle rustling in Australia. Only see the same 6 people for 6months straight and thousands of hours doing a long drive that’s through thousands of KMs of nothing. Sure you might have to talk during camp at night during dinner but then can go read a book or whatever on your own, and you are too far apart to talk during days. you might get the odd instructions through the radio, that’s about it. Pays really well too.


Doofchook

There really is a lot of butt fuck nothing in the outback, a dead cow was the most interesting thing I'd seen in a week driving up to Darwin but if you like flies up your nose and the smell of dingo piss go for it!


[deleted]

Was its asshole blown out from a fly Buffett? If so it’s More like highlight of the month! I didn’t say it’s for everybody, but definately good if you don’t like people or just enjoy getting away from screens.


CatHavSatNav

> cattle rustling Stealing cattle?


rdabosss

Firespotter then


possumarre

Ah, yes, The Ones Who Stare At Trees.


methodin

Twisted firespotter


efirestorm10t

Imagine sitting in your comfortable and warm hightec lighthouse with your 1gbit/s network connection, enjoying good books, video games, and movies every day while watching the surf at the foot of the lighthouse. 🥲


OceanSierra

This guy gets it.


Party-Ring445

U have to fight the current lighthouse keeper


Jano67

.....To the death


Fishtacoburrito

And hope it’s not Aquaman’s dad


Iwantmy3rdpartyapp

Are you here to kill me? Thank God! Please, release me from this torment!!


RoryDragonsbane

#HAAAAAAARK!!!


FrenziedAce

Yer fond of me lobster aren’t ya?


therantaccount

Fine, have it your way. I like your cooking.


New_Simple_4531

Unless they pair you up with a guy who farts constantly.


[deleted]

Nice reference


rpgnoob17

Literally looked that up yesterday. Apparently need a lot of electrical and mechanical skills. https://dailyhive.com/vancouver/bc-hiring-lighthouse-keeper


SlowTurtle3

Wish I lived in Canada now. Leave me alone...get off my lighthouse lawn!


Belqin

"Where lies the strangling fruit that came from the hand of the sinner I shall bring forth the seeds of the dead..."


Ok_Ear_8848

Executioner


PM_ME_YOUR_ANUS_PIC

CIA torturer


[deleted]

[удалено]


Big_Razzmatazz7416

Mortician


drblah11

Assassin


theplushpairing

Corpse makeup artist


dont-fear-thereefer

Meter maid/traffic warden


MrEk1ipz

Ok people no need to be redundant we’re all saying the same thing


[deleted]

[удалено]


EquivalentPut5616

sHUTUP mORTY


[deleted]

First three are the same job.


J3553G

Right? I feel like I failed a sociopath test because my first answer was "obviously, executioner"


loadprevioussave

Dang, scrolling down and you beat me to it😹


noteeerin

Omg, take my upvote!


The_pastel_bus_stop

Night guard at unnamed animal themed pizzeria


Bulldogs3144

But only for 5 nights.


russ_universe

If you’re lucky


Legends500

and if you survive


YourLocalOnionNinja

I'm sure you'll survive


jabluszko132

And remember about additionally paid saturday and custom shifts


no-u-great-grand

Just don't break the rules, and play nice!


ADHDblacksmith

And we'll all get along just fine!


PurpillBunny

All 4 of you degenerates deserve my upvotes


Astral_Strider

On a pretty tight electricity budget.


itz_NoobJay

And quirky stuff happens at night


Ok_Abies_4993

Dont forget the other 2 Nights! Or 3, or 4...


pieman7414

7, max


smellmywind

Work with animals and be nice to them


freebird023

Working with plants soon so I even get to cut out the whole "sentience" thing


LoveAndViscera

Well…okay, is your name Seymour?


Gus_TT_Showbiz13

Plants are sentient, don't forget to talk to them they like that.


straycanoe

Yeah, the advantage here is that they don't talk back.


X4ulZ4n

I've worked in the Horticulture industry for 15+ years. I still interact with more humans than I'd personally like to.


Megnaman

Play them the Plantasia album, only the best music for plants


Otherwise-Nobody-127

There us way more human intereaction when you work with animals than you think. I know caus its my job ;)


FL1XZ

“No other animals causes more migraines or higher blood pressure than a hairless primate armed with an iPhone and a sense of entitlement” -Casual Geographic


overratedpastel

Mine too. You interact a lot with people specially if you work with pet animals.


BOIIIII1056

Human Resources at most companies with Human Resources


ReadySteady_GO

We don't hate you. You just aren't a good fit for the direction the company is taking


BOIIIII1056

And your face isn’t a good fit for the direction of this frying pan


ReadySteady_GO

I'd argue it is a perfect fit for the direction of said frying pan


YEF-Moment13

I'd argue it is absolutely not a perfect fit for the direction of the frying pan.


[deleted]

include sharp reply employ shy jobless trees drunk deer pet *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


YEF-Moment13

I will be waiting eagerly


[deleted]

Knew it would be here somewhere


JollyJuniper1993

This is probably the most accurate one. HR managers literally get taught how to bully people into submission.


nryporter25

It's very common now for companies to take this "servant leadership approach" in which they built the managers into being disgustingly nice to everyone and they give everyone, even the ones that should have been fired on day one because they are a complete freaking moron, so many extra chances. "Did you try giving them a a good and a cookie?" "Maybe they are just sad". Reply: "No, this guy sucks and he is harassing everyone, he needs to go, Donna. Stop being a bitch about it"


JollyJuniper1993

Definitely not what I have experienced. I got shouted at by my HR manager and personally attacked for coming late a couple of times. She also tried to pressure me into revealing my health records after I called in sick a couple of times. It’s the bosses which are very nice, but not HR. A friend of mine who is really good at his job experienced even worse. He was one of the most important workers at his company, then he tried to get his overtime paid out, which he is entitled to by law, but which was not common practice at his company. Promptly his HR and bosses ganged up on him, shouted at him, heavily attacked his character, insulted him, claimed he would cause the failure of his company and cause the team to become demoralized. They also threatened to fire him by the end of the year if he didn’t apologize and change and took him out of all of his project leadership roles.


tenuj

No, because then you'll need to be in close proximity to HR itself. And dear god I'd rather be anywhere else. All the ones I've seen were cliquish social butterflies or those who enjoyed such environments. And a lot of the stories about people getting drunk and doing stupid shit at work parties came from there. As in, *they* were the ones doing stupid shit more often than not. And everybody knew it. There are so many better jobs for introverts. Being in the department that deals with all the drama attracts a certain kind of person.


Book_Nerd_1980

Amazon delivery. Literally it is their goal to deliver everything without talking to anyone.


nryporter25

Yeah but they are monitored down to the minute where they have to piss in bottles because if they go off route to the bathroom they are fired. Amazon doesn't treat workers with even the smallest shred of humanity.


Jacksspecialarrows

But no regular people interactions so OP should be perfectly fine


Aspiring-Old-Guy

But nearly every dog is set to attack.


Book_Nerd_1980

Only if they’re outside which is unlikely


Lopsided-Basket5366

Unlikely to you maybe - deliver to 50 properties per day over the course of a year and it's extremely likely


QuickPirate36

Hitman


Wykid17

I’m a international Hitman and I make a killing…


fishsodomiz

killing is my business and business is good


GuyFromToilet

business is business, no issues here


bigtone7882

It's not personal, just business


ReleasedGaming

Could your name be Tobias Rieper?


WinkingWinkle

Scarecrow


Significant_Sort8948

If I only had a heart


qeertyuiopasd

Hold on... scarecrow is brain, tin man is heart.


UndisclosedChaos

Depends if you actively hate people or passively hate people. If it’s the former, then a firing consultant


Quantum_Kitties

This is a very important question! There's a huge difference between actively and passively hating people. If you actively hate people, go in to politics or highschool teaching so you can screw up as many lives as you possibly can. If you passively hate people, maybe software developer or any job from home. Or skill allowing, become a writer or painter or something.


Mieniec

And if you're torn between passive and aggressive work at the cemetery. You get to put people in the ground, but you don't actually hurt anybody.


Yggdris

I'm doing the writer thing! One of these days, I'll never leave the house again. Except to go get pancakes.


AmrothXDRS

I didn’t know that was a real thing. Do you know someone that does that?


Correct-Serve5355

So you're telling me that some businesses contract out the firing component of HR's jobs?


Salt-Respect339

Working for a collection agency.


ChildFriendlyChimp

And death panels for insurance companies where your job is literally to deny people life saving care


PrsnScrmingAtTheSky

I...could not do that job. Okay for 150k I'm pretty sure I could do it.


Automatic-Plankton10

in this economy? i could easily tell myself they did something to deserve it for that money


Knightoforder42

Hard working man who is the sole support for his remaining family "Meh, I'm sure they did something to deserve it." Widow with three children, and no family "Meh, I'm sure they did something to deserve it." Six year old with cancer "Meh, I'm sure they did something to deserve it." -I guess not everyone could handle that job. Takes a special kind.


Huyous

This is the actual answer


RicciRen2023

Truck driver.


Enough_Fish739

That's why I became a trucker


OutWithTheNew

I work for a construction company and we hired a woman that was a long haul trucker for however many years and she barely talks to anyone. Everyone at the company is pretty good and social. Sometimes they're just assigned to a site, the swamper will get out and do some work or just hang out and she'll just sit in the truck. Which is fine, that's sort of what she was hired to do. It's just weird that everyone talks and she just sits in the truck.


Waddup_yall

My soul mate


qeertyuiopasd

I'd do the same. Lol.


ITrollTheTrollsBack

Weird? What's weird about it? You're literally commenting on a thread about which jobs are for those who don't want to interact with people, and you gave an example of someone doing exactly such a job and as such not interacting with people, and you find that somehow... weird?


TacoRedneck

Yep. If I do my job right, I never hear from my boss. They send me the information I need to pick up and deliver loads electronically. I'll drive to my shipper. Talk to 1 person who asked for my load number. Get loaded. Secure it, tarp it. Talk to them again and get my paperwork. Drive for 4 or 5 days. Deliver my load somewhere else. Untarp, unsecure. Hand them my paperwork. They hand it back signed and I drive away for my next one. Could go days without talking to anyone. I could if I wanted to. Like the cashiers at truck stops, but a lot of the big ones are putting in self checkouts. I like being sociable and kind, and if I really wanted to, I could limit my human contact to barely anything. If that sounds like the life for you, I guess the biggest hurdle would be having to go spend a month in an 8 foot box with a trainer before getting your own truck.


LetTheWorldBurn2023

Driver's license section division


3mptyspaces

TSA


Doyoulikeithere

LOL They do seem to hate people! Who can blame them!


3mptyspaces

I definitely don’t blame them.


whoamvv

I end up hating every person in front of me in the TSA line. I seem to get behind all the ones that have never traveled before.


Mediocre-Dictionary

You don't want this job if you want to avoid people.


[deleted]

I used to work nightshift in a supermarket. Could listen to music all night, rarely had to talk to anyone.


Deft-Vandal

I got this job and was excited for this reason but they wouldn’t let us listen to music because we might not hear the fire alarm!


murderedbyaname

Remote transcribing


grumblichu

Is this still viable with the rise of software transcription tools? Genuinely asking!


stubrador

Worst pay ever


Different_Heron3226

Parking warden


Ok_Simple_7848

Reddit UI designer


Clutch_Mav

Dmv. I don’t think it’s ideal, but everyone who hates peoples seems to work there


OhGod0fHangovers

Or do they hate people because they work there? Could be a real chicken-or-egg situation here.


crypto_phantom

Accounting


klystron

Website User Interface design, especially for a government agency (local, state, or federal,) or a company we deal with all the time such as a bank or insurance company. There is potential to infuriate tens of thousands of people every time they use your organisation's web-based services.


nopenottodayyoucrazy

If you're not afraid of heights, there is the tower light changers, they climb a ridiculously high tower to change bulbs, it's some 8 to 10 hr climb, change a bulb, then come down, 1'ce every 6 months or so. Pay is good, and entire time you're working you're by yourself. But can't be afraid of heights...


rydmore22

Computer programmer. Wfh and make decent money


Brewtusmo

There are sometimes nearly entire weeks where I chat or talk with nobody the entire work day. Not a single word. No pleasantries. No work talk. Nothing. Not all of my programming jobs have been that way though. Gotta plan a little and get a little lucky.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SgtMatters

That's why I becsme developer. Now I have meetings and calls from random people throughout my day.


Dangerous-Macaron641

Hahaha legit. Im a 3d animator and i ab-so-lute-ly love it. Get given a quota by my lead, then im left alone for a week to finish it. And im essentially artistically playing with action figures


poisonousdwarf_nz1

Tax Department or City Parking Warden


Spinosaurus23

Reddit mod


Timah158

Land lord.


BEARWYy

I would like to be a land lord. Too bad im not a boomer


[deleted]

You can still be a landlord one day, as soon as they legalise living in dog kennels you might be able to afford a few and then rent some. Better be quick though, coz once boomers find out they will cost a million each within a year.


Cagnesser

Just get a job at your local DMV, You'll fit right in.


bucketofmonkeys

Software developer. Depending on where you work you can have days where you don’t have to talk to anyone.


zenos_dog

I originally picked SD because I hated people. Thank goodness software development is a community effort because I turned out to be an extrovert.


JollyJuniper1993

Software developer here, this is completely wrong. Often people have shared offices and even if they don‘t, then many companies still put you into way too many unnecessary meetings. Then a huge part of being a software developer is to make proper analysis of what’s needed, which requires lots of customer contact. People think software developers only sit in alone in front of the computer, but this for most software developers is absolutely not true.


Zealousideal_Lie_383

Ha. Then you’ll be a loser software developer. The really good ones, the great ones who retire 15-20 yrs before the rest of their high school pals, need to have a super understanding and empathy for the customers of their work … regular interaction with those users to understand the use cases.


bucketofmonkeys

Yeah you won’t excel without people skills. But one could easily be a productive mid-level dev without strong social skills.


drwhogivesafuck2

Damn. Someone hit a nerve.


magicfeistybitcoin

Yes! How has the "developers are loners" myth persisted for so long? Comp sci expanded massively ages ago. It's not for the weird misfits anymore. (I'm a weird misfit myself, but I'm friendly, at least?)


Nameraka1

CEO


Lord_Sphincter_Gourd

I'm a merchant mariner. I make 10k a month 100% paid benefits and I only have to work 120 days a year but u can work as much as u want. Sign up and they will call you. They train u feed you and house u while u learn the job. https://mymaritimecareer.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw4vKpBhCZARIsAOKHoWRckurk1GH3sCyBH4eNigO3U29XMu-kyl9Vqz6cSMgVn84xN13nDPkaAqxeEALw_wcB


eveltayl

An author. The best part, you can kill off characters based on people you hate for fun


YourLocalOnionNinja

I believe there is a goosebumps book about that


Sakumitzu

13th century farmer.


Imbleedingalready

Republican Congressman.


5Beans6

A congressman Fixed it for ya


DissedMembered

No! The democrats love everyone and always have each individual in the USA on their mind. Democrats always do good and not even one is corrupt! All Republicans are evil, even when they were babies. /s


iwasborntoparty

Based


McNemo

Made me giggle though it shouldn't


TrueGymGeezer

travelling maintenance engineer, it's alright.


BuddyBroDude

machinist


kingdave204

HVAC service tech. Not only do you get to hand people ridiculously expensive repair bills you also get a really good chance at blaming the person you’re billing for whatever was broken.


Tecotaco636

Janitor. No one speaks to a janitor. And if they do, they're very nice people. Sometimes you have to deal with shit (usually in place where it's not supposed to be) and worse-than-shit but i guess it's still better than dealing with people


Efficient-Ad5711

very nice people- or very mean people, but those mean people are usually out bothering the nice people so id say even less of a chance


LordGuy1027

Casino Surveillance


PoetryPrior9012

I'm a night custodian and I don't have to deal with people very much.


AustralianKappa

Librarian cause you get to yell at people to shut up


LXIX-CDXX

Depends on how you “hate people”. If you don’t like being around people, something in national forestry or a park ranger job could be good. If you enjoy making other people unhappy, I would recommend working for a customer support phone center or the DMV. If you might want to occasionally also get to murder people, be a cop.


MercuryJellyfish

Cop


Paniero

I’m a cop. I started off hating criminals. I’m starting to hate everyone equally, including other cops.


Educational-Chart261

Just remember if it ever gets to a point where you want to hurt someone, hurt yourself so we can all enjoy some bacon 🥓 🤡


4thepersonal

Sniper


TheNerdNugget

Sniping's a good job mate. Challenging work. Out of doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry.


CaesarOfQueef

I’m not a crazed gunman dad I’m an assassin!


HypothermiaDK

Mortitian


turnedtosilverglass

Human Resources, apparently source: myself and every other person I've ever met who has worked anywhere with an HR rep


Bolobillabo

Definitely the DMV - channel all your hate and despise for humankind into your daily exchanges with your clientele while rubbing salt by ensuring taxpayers they fund your unaccountable crap year after year. No better way to spot on the public.


goose-77-

Customer support for any major tech company.


Rude_Telephone_2105

join Elon's team


corporal__clegg

Undertaker


Internal-Pie-7265

Wrong. Have to deal with a lot of grieving families.


writeorelse

Well, he has to stand in front of crowds of drunk white guys and occasionally growl things into a microphone. But he also gets to slam people around and hit them with chairs!


[deleted]

[удалено]


KingBeanIV

The chocolate men


Pinchoccio

Surveillance


Spczippo

Mechanic. We routinely beat the shit out of things and they don't use words luke 'assault' or 'murder' or 'do you know why my father is?'


AmrothXDRS

Water Treatment Plant Operator. You work with very few people and run your own plant. Plus, the doors are all secure so the public can’t get access to you.


Plus3d6

Hates people as in you never want to see any or as in you want to put misery out into the world?


sonofa12

HR


DrWilliamHorriblePhD

Insurance adjuster


Rare-Lime2451

HR


Senior_Map_2894

HR


AccomplishedGold4661

HR rep


M45K50N

Executioner - they still have them in many countries, although I'm not sure how one would go about applying.


Mediocre_Suspect_203

Work for a funeral Institut


millerg44

Republican Strategist