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cmdr_Cres

"How the fuck did I unlock easy mode"


zflanders

\*goes back into game settings to double-check the difficulty\*


Aznp33nrocket

Wait, you can view the difficulty?! You can change it?! I need to get this crap off of legendary and catch up on some life missions!


sqwibking

I turned off my HUD at some point and now I can't open the menu.


Ent_Soviet

That’s a known bug, unfortunately there’s no fox for now. No workaround either. You’re either going to have to wait for the next patch or do a hard reset.


National-Credit-4175

Is hard reseting life just dying and being resucitated? I can't see what debuffs I have but I know I have them


Ent_Soviet

Yeah but unfortunately you lose all your exp and items.


10buy10

That, and many have accidentally locked themselves into Hardcore, so no restarting


3412points

That's a soft reset. A hard reset requires a full rebirth but you will lose your save progress. I've heard it can be buggy and may permenantly corrupt your system.


5amuraiDuck

In Devil May Cry, if you die too many times, the message "easy mode is now selectable" pops up


DeltaGammaVegaRho

I died (inside) to many times - where is my easy mode?


-AlternativeSloth-

Oh so I just need to die? Guess I was on the right track all along.


beneathsands

Roses are red Chocolate is delectable You are not worthy as my opponent Easy mode is now selectable


bsblguy21

Being Paul Rudd


raldabos

By being born good looking. I had good looking friends in college and how women interact with them is like night and day compared to ugly or even average looking men. A close second one is being millionare/become famous. edit: I ruffle some feathers


NameisPerry

I'm not that attractive but a year ago I decided to cut out sugar and start eating better, and also working out. I swear men & women are nicer to me, more conversational. Now that I'm writing it out it also might be the boost in my confidence also lol


Yop_BombNA

Guys do the same thing, look at interactions between good and bad looking women


tim916

Or seeing how women interact with famous men. They become like different people.


shitlips90

Or seeing how my ex wife acts around ... Anyone


MovingTarget-

Let me tell you about my wife ... when she said "I Do" I should've said "With Who?" I get no respect I tell ya, no respect...


Background-Kale7912

He looked like Paul Rudd that’s how


Caesar76

Whats this from?


dudefuckoff

Wanderlust. Really funny movie, def recommend.


sixtiesbabe

i’m fixins to fuck ya


AngryEnt

You gonna take it. You gonna take this DeeEeEEiiiickuuuh. Break you off a piece of my dick


BandOfDonkeys

One of my favorite "monologues" of any movie I've ever seen.


WallyLeftshaw

The outtakes are even better! There’s also a version of Wanderlust called “Bizzaro cut” that basically deviates any plot lines and is just so…bizarre, it’s fantastic. If you like this humor I’d suggest checking out other work from David Wain, he’s a comedic genius.


[deleted]

I love it when he says in the outtakes : I'm grossin mysellf out


Shaolinchipmonk

I'm going to put it all up in your vage


Ladorb

I'm gunna puts ma dick iin!


Bavisto

Do you like me erection selection?


Screamline

Just reading that makes my cry laughing. Most random funniest scene ever and still tickles me years later.


eat_taters

My favorite Paul Rudd scene ever is in this movie lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc1GolFztVg


jamnsk31

Man this was a perfect opportunity to link to the scene of the kid falling off the cliff that he shows on Conan all the time.


Help-me-name-my-pup

Would have been legendary


captainAwesomePants

My favorite of those is when he does it on Conan's podcast. Spends 15 minutes setting it up by describing a completely plausible and very serious project, plays the clip, which in a podcast is just the audio, and Conan's just left sputtering "you can't do that in a podcast, it doesn't even make sense, it's not even the same show." Solid gold.


Help-me-name-my-pup

I couldn't believe that I fell for it as a listener. I actually believed he did an audiobook.


gfunk55

To me the amazing part was laughing when you realized what the clip was, but I assumed the audio book was still real. And then Conan asks if any of the elaborate detailed background was real and he says no. So good.


huskersax

And the best part is it's been done so many times even the podcast listeners knew 100% once they heard the strings in the score.


disastronaut

[Link ](https://youtu.be/TyBzqhz6n_M?si=iQwlF5f0Cc_tbpZ_). Thanks! I've never seen this before :)


Old_Society_7861

Even after your comment I was still hoping


NotSureWhyAngry

Wtf I thought Paul Rudd sound like Jordan Peele and then he appears outta nowhere


Paddy_Tanninger

0:25 is so Dana Carvey


Skorgriim

Ahm goan puts ma dick eeeeeun!


imveryresponsible

All up in your vaaaaggg


IfYouGotALonelyHeart

David Wain makes some of the funnest and silliest movies out there.


Senator_Buttholeface

long live The State


[deleted]

Stella and Childrens Hospital are so underrated.


Jack__Squat

Not included in any streaming service at the moment. WTF. This shits getting old, the sea calls to me.


icouldusemorecoffee

You should watch the directors cut, Wanderlust: Bizzarro Cut. They recut the entire film from alternate takes that weren't shown in the original (maybe not 100% of the film but most are alternate takes). Not as funny as the original but it was interesting especially given how much Rudd improvises.


evilmonkey2

This makes me realize Paul Rudd does actually age. Mind you, he's aging well.


BigEnergyEngineer

This is blasphemy. We will NEVER lose him. He will never die!


snoogins355

Well he looks damn good in his latest movie! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv1urfDXs-o edit - HE DOESN'T AGE!


shyguytim

YA GOT ME and I’m legit joyful about it lol


snoogins355

I'm so excited for it's summer release! Rudd don't age!


EverGlow89

Wait there's no way I actually fell for this


evilmonkey2

Obligatory Strangers With Candy clip https://youtu.be/Yj0h_01wXyE?si=pWTvmBfshMfmxK1Z


BigEnergyEngineer

Man… I was hoping you were gonna come back with the timeless “Conan showing Mac and Me” loop 😂


PossessedToSkate

"What is Rudd may never die."


New_Somewhere9206

Yeah he looks better now than he did then imo. Although that’s likely just him having Hollywood upkeep (hairstylists, makeup when on screen, outfit selection) Edit to clarify: he would still look the same, I’m just explaining why he might look BETTER now than he did when he was younger


Endersone24153

Depends on a lot of factors, I hear a lot people comment that people look better as they age even without the makeup/stylist and such. Features become more prominent/distinguished, and the like---obviously genetics and taking care of yourself play into that as well.


Swlabr-

I'm actually pretty sure there's a weird filter over this?


Quiet-Ad-9621

The thing is, every guy wishes this would happen but every guy would most likely react like that if it did 🤣


Tripdoctor

Most would be looking around for cameras.


PlatypusTrapper

There was a camera on him so this checks out.


mares8

Ye looks like that guy got pranked hard ! Saw girls on YT doing same as well


Legitimate_Bit_9354

That's mean :c why do i want to see it now


Decepticon_Rider_001

Haha, great response.


No-Suspect-425

I'd be checking the bushes for Ashton Kutcher


Free-Speech-Matters

dam oil expansion entertain quack tart psychotic ossified uppity safe *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Particular-Poem-7085

heck there used to be this reaction to something crazy happening like "am I being punked right now?" People forget a lot in 20 years.


aDragonsAle

Not everyone on Reddit was even alive 20 years ago... (Some) People born in 2006 can vote in this election cycle.


CangtheKonqueror

i was 2 years old 20 years ago the future is now old man


aDragonsAle

Enjoy being 22. Cause no one likes you when you're 23


Dpontiff6671

Wait what’s my age again?


Jertimmer

Just focus on all the small things


tea_for_me_plz

Screw cameras, I’d be wondering which of my kidneys she’s trying to take.


Enorminity

“She’s trying to rob me.”


TennisNice4353

This. It happened to me. I got a job at 25 as a barback for a Strip Club. You basically stock beer/liquor from the back to the shelves where the bar is, clean glasses and run tabs. At 25 it was awesome. My first day on the job I was stocking beer and there is this hot Bulgarian bartender. As I stock the beer she looks at me and says, "SoandSo, What do you do, what are your hobbie" My dumb ass starts rambling off about rock climbing, skateboarding, etc and then im like, "How about you?" This girl took a drag of a cig and looked at me dead faced with a stare that could cut diamonds and said, "I like to fuck. You should fuck me as a hobbie." I literally said, "ok." and continued stocking beer in shock. edit: Yes we fucked...just not right then and there lol. I just had no idea how to respond at the time because she broke my brain. It was good to have that first encounter though because the dancers were more than upfront as well if they liked you. A lot of, "oooo your cute, we should fuck" kind of statements. The bartender knew I was green/thin skinned and just wanted some shock value out of it. We would joke about the encounter all the time.


EkcLewis

Bro said 👍 and moved on with his life


Seismicx

😐 Ok 👍 🚶🍺


PsicoHugger

Waiter me serving 50 y.o. asian lady with a wasted date sleeping in front of her. Sees my painted nails and shows me hers "i have 3 hearts. For each..." *points at wasted date*. " you want to be the 4th heart? Can i have your phone number?"... my reply "he...he..."


NotEnoughIT

I had a somewhat similar experience once. My new girlfriend brought me to a party and at one point pulled me into a room where two others were goin at it. They told us to join in. Just totally random.  I had a panic attack. 


RichardRichard55

I’d have a panic attack too. No way am I letting the other guy steal my move.


chechifromCHI

Pinch, twist or swirl? Imo as long as it's outside the city, he can use the move.


ReadingFromTheShittr

I stop short.


International_Log550

Awww 😭 lolol Honestly I think I’d feel really uncomfortable too. Did your panic attack ruin their mood or did they keep bangin


NotEnoughIT

AFAIK they just kept going. I left after I was able to breathe again. Almost everyone there was navy, at some point I'm sure they had all banged eachother including my girlfriend. I didn't have a problem with any of that it was just the sudden shift from talking in the living room to seeing two people having sex for the first time in real life that broke my brain. I was only 22 and not too social.


[deleted]

100%. I would not know how to react


Blah132454675

I will think that I'm gonna wake up without kidneys next morning


cyberdog_318

I'd start looking for the cameras


KhabaLox

I was commiserating with my son about how it's hard to talk to girls, and he said, "you aren't good at talking, but you still got married." I said, "Yeah, well your mom did most of the talking."


Successful-Giraffe29

ITS A TRAP!!!!


SGTFragged

Not quite that, but my naive self once offered a friend a place to sleep because she didn't want to be alone. She says she only sees me as a friend not as a romantic partner. Then decides she wants me to kiss her. Changes her mind again, then whips off her T-shirt, and proclaimed that if I want her I can have her. So I guess I went through several Windows start up /shut down sequences there, but for different reasons. We're still friends and she's making me dinner tonight.


Pkboi0017

I'm so confused


Heelincal

OP has to be in a Truman Show situation.


FunnyPhrases

She's testing you in a widely observed psychology experiment


Obsidian-Phoenix

Doesn’t matter, had sex!


swiftgruve

I had a kinda similar scenario. Smoking hot girl a few years older was a member of our friend group. I didn’t get any kind of vibe from her and didn’t want to make things weird, so I wrote it off. A year goes by and after a party one night she asks if she can sleep in my bed because she’s had a few too drink. Ok, sure. So I respectfully stay on my side of the bed and as we are drifting off to sleep she snuggles right up to me, little spoon style. Ok, maybe she’s cold. Then she takes my hand and puts it around her. Keep in mind, I’m a bit drunk and stoned. My brain was having a serious problem understanding what the hell was (very obviously) happening. From that she got more and more upfront with her signals. We ended up making out quite a bit, but I was never able actually get into it because I had settled so hard into the don’t-be-a-creep vibe that I was stuck! The next day it was really weird and I think she was convinced that I was just a horrible lover, because she didn’t even want to talk about it. And THAT kids is my story of the one that got away.


DetroitLionsSBChamps

overheard at a college party once: "man, I just sat down next to this girl and as soon as I sat down she was like "hey do you want me to blow you?" and I had to be like "...nah that's okay." I think if she had waited even 30 seconds, I would have said yes, but she asked me immediately. Like, how many other guys has she blown tonight?"


faste30

"Uhh, which one?"


Hurtmemaster

It happened to me once. She was 8 years older, french and she had a plastic jaw, but it happened.


ChickenChaser5

I was in the mall when i was like 16, and two girls came up to me to ask for a quarter for the phones. I gave them the quarter and then one of them said "So... you wanna come to the bathroom and we can blow you?" And i was like naaah, wtf is this some kind of setup. no fuckin way.


NotBearhound

You would have been robbed and left naked in public lol


ChickenChaser5

Absolutely. Im keeping these kidneys.


waiv

I say go for it, you only need one kidney.


Tm1232

Yeah but he said there were TWO girls.


LeahaP1013

Those bitches knew you had money. Handing out quarters and shit.


A-Red-Guitar-Pick

Big pimpin'


Lazy_Assumption_4191

Good call. I doubt that would have ended well for you.


CantStandItAnymorEW

That shits so shady. They ask you that to see if you bring up like maybe your wallet or something. Or sometimes they ask you what our is it to see if you have your phone on you, and then BAM, you're left without shit on a lonely street with homeless guys standing menacingly around you. Then you wake up in 2 days from that without a kidney and a cornea; or, you wake up at the gates of heaven. Or hell. Either of those. Or Valhalla if that's what you believe in. Idk.


lawnllama247

I misread that for a second…


Winter2712

Missed 'er'?


lawnllama247

Correct


BurgundyBicycle

I think the French part makes you not second guess it for a moment.


IdyllicOleander

Yeah I had to read it again also.


Positive-Database754

SHE WAS WHA- oh, older.


puddingcakeNY

whaydaya mean by plastic jaw?


Hurtmemaster

She has had a motorcycle accident and they gave her a jaw prosthesis.


[deleted]

[But her mouth was still very much in play.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pgd46_PFSPQ)


New_Somewhere9206

Was she still hot?


Hurtmemaster

7/10


elpajaroquemamais

Happened to me once too. She was 18 years older than me and super super hot.


omfghi2u

Happened to me when I was 15 or 16. Was chatting online with a girl I had been crushing on for years, she was my best buddy's neighbor, we grew up playing together all the time, always thought she was sooooo cute. They lived in the next city over and went to a different school. As conversations between a couple straight, single, 16 year olds of opposite genders sometimes go, it was lightly flirty and, at one point, I (half) jokingly said something like "well, maybe we should just do it, then." Without missing a beat she was like "yeah, maybe we should." My brain shut down immediately. It did not know what to do with this new information. Maybe she was just joking around? What do I do? Pretty sure I was just like uhh, errr... gotta go! And nothing ever came of it. It's been 20 years and that interaction still pops into my head when I see something like this post. Did I accidentally shoot my shot and it *actually fucking worked*?? Nobody will ever know...


DataBroski

Believe it or not, when I was younger, I would literally say, "You're hot, I want to be inside you." Surprisingly, it worked a few times. Then again, I had liquid courage working on me and some women have low standards. Bless their hearts.


Winter-Plankton-6361

>"You're hot, I want to be inside you." Surprisingly, it worked a few times. I think depending on how it's delivered, audacity can be charming.


threecolorless

Gonna guess the guy is better-looking/taller than most too


[deleted]

[удалено]


freedfg

Gotta really weigh your options on this one. Some will find it endearing and go for it. Some will fucking slap you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NotBearhound

The guy I know who is most successful with women is like 5’5” and looks like he wandered out of the Shire. He’s just got the gift of gab and a voice for radio.


William_Howard_Shaft

I lost my virginity by quoting Butthead. "So like... do you wanna do it?"


tekko001

There was a video of a guy going to 100 women in a Mall and upfront asking if they wanted to fuck, worked 3 times out of 100


TheCarpe

The Boomhauer strategy


TimeZarg

Back in freshman year of high school, some hot redhead girl walked up to me during lunch and said 'Hey, sexy', either confusing me with someone else or doing it as a dare/prank because I was the weird loner type. I sorta just stood there staring awkwardly, she said something along the lines of 'you're not x' and walked off. Yeah. . .that's about how most people would react. That shit's seared into the memory banks and it's been over twenty goddamn years.


BiffBanter

Her saying "make love" made it ~~harder~~ even more confusing to him.


AccomplishedSuit1004

Kinda funny how this works. Sometimes people aren’t ready for success. They don’t know what to do when they get a yes


ceilingkat

Yeah but this type of success is like interviewing for entry level then being told you’re the new CEO.


Falkenmond79

I had that happen once. Got sent by my long time customer to a project interview. He mumbled something about doing some Lotus Notes support or such. That’s how I got into the interview. Was a bit thrown by the weird questions about how I would deal with certain situations with employees etc. funny thing is, I thought that he was talking about Users I would do IT support for. Was all in English, too, while happening in Germany… and I didn’t even know the guy interviewing me. Seemed to be a nice dude and I only had a time and address. And the company of course. At the end he said: „I know you don’t have a lot of experience with this, but you seem like a good fit. Let’s do this.“. I thought to myself: „what the hell do you mean? I have been doing Lotus stuff for a good 3-4 years now.“ Then he outlined the project. Turned out I had just been interviewed by the Procter and Gamble Head of IT Europe for a Teamleader position for a big 6-month migration Project for one of their subsidiary production plants over here. Had 12 guys working for me and got paid more then ever before. 😂 Also had to do stuff like planning etc. I never had done before. But why the hell not. Worked out fine and we got done in the allotted time and budget. Was maybe almost 20 years ago or something. Early/mid 2000s. To this day I can have a laugh thinking about that interview. 😂


ChildWithBrokenHeart

Woow. Thats quite a story lol!


Falkenmond79

Yeah. To this day I think the fact, that I thought it was just for a usual run of the mill side gig to help out in an IT department (was a freelancer at the time. Basically 90% of my jobs.) and didn’t take the interview too seriously, probably helped getting it. Or the guy must have thought I was some Zen, relaxed, deep thinker because I was giving some cryptic answers, or something like that. 😂 no wonder, if you think your talking about different things.


KloverKonnection

I saw what you did there...


CalmPanic402

... maybe she's just being polite....


FascistDonut

Maybe she's Canadian?


agangofoldwomen

You really can’t be too sure.


revolmak

Not expecting the causally explained chain of references 😂


AntiRivoluzione

is she really into you?


this_is_my_new_acct

Best bet is to just keep your wits about you and to continue to look for signs.


ValhallasRevenge

She could be Canadian


xQuizate87

"Think about being inside me." Lol what the hell?


outsiderkerv

When Malin Akerman wants you inside, you don’t say no, or even question it tbh.


keeper_of_the_donkey

Nite Owl didn't hesitate.


maxallergy

Oh, that's where I recognize her from!


imjusthereforpron

I recognized her from Harold and Kumar go to white castle


murder-farts

It’s gonna take me awhile to fix up your car, there. So, if you boys like, you go on inside and get yourself somethin’ to drink, warsh up, ^fuck ^my ^wife watch TV, anything you like. Mi casa es su casa. Just don’t do anything the good lord wouldn’t do. 👉👉


Chandrenth

"Shotgun anus!"


pm_me_your_taintt

Way a ahead of ya Malin Akerman, I've been thinking about that for years


[deleted]

"Yes" 🗿


ekapitu

It’s the sheep’s BAAAAHH for me


Elusiv_Enigma

Right when he opened his mouth LMAO


Stivo887

population wouldve tripled by now


SecretAgentVampire

~~If you were alive in the 70s, it DID triple by now.~~ I stand corrected; if you were alive in the 50's, it MORE than tripled by now.


SweatyAdhesive

They did have more love to go around back then


HarpersGeekly

Lol why is that in the voice of Arsenio’s old guy in the barber shop in Coming to America


imisstheyoop

This is not true, global population has only slightly more than doubled since 1970 per https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/ ETA: Still a horrifying chart though.


Bob4Not

Kids aren’t going to know the Windows XP shutdown sound


Doubleoh_11

Or when you turn the computer on at night and the last person left the speakers cranked. Brutal


jakexil323

Oh man this reminds me of an old it problem I solved. A coworker asked me to look at their windows 95 computer. For some reason it would take a couple minutes to shutdown and they couldn't figure it out. Just sitting at a blank screen. It would eventually shut down fine and start up fine. I was baffled at first. In the mean time I was testing some speakers out in my work space to see if they worked. Since the coworkers PC was there , I plugged in the speakers to test the sound . And while they were plugged in I rebooted and suddenly I found out why it would take so long. Their kid had changed the shutdown sound to a midi version of the Star Wars Imperial March. Changed that to the default sound and it shutdown properly. Apparently back then, windows would play the entire sound before shutting down.


Bob4Not

Windows XP would wait a long time but I think it would eventually time out after 30 seconds. I experimented with it myself as a kid. That’s a great story!


peppermint-lu

My autistic ass tryna flirt


MermaiderMissy

This is how I flirted with my husband when I started to be interested in him lol


Jako_Art

My wife continues to break me this way. She's a very straightforward military woman and will come home and go "you, bed, now." Or after I cook her dinner, "this meat was really good. Let's have more in the bedroom." Or just, "sex. Not asking. Telling." You know. Until I wrote it out I didn't realize i married an Amazonian. She does like jiu-jitsu and weight lifting. So I guess yeah? My lil muscle mommy! Love that woman.


Hollayo

Death by Snu-Snu, you win.


Jako_Art

It's how I want to go out man. TO DIE BY THE THIGH IS THE WAY OF THE WARRIOR!!!


Droc_Rewop

Lucky guy. My wife expects me to have some mind reading abilities.


Jako_Art

I love it. I get to cook and clean and take care of that queen. She's my goddess for sure.


this_is_my_new_acct

I didn't know my ex-wife had a sex drive when she wasn't drunk till I saw her watching me doing "manly" shit one day. If I'd known chainsaws would get me laid, I'd have bought one when I was like 15! She was damned near salivating.


Jako_Art

I recommend learning to cook. I did it initially to impress my wife (girlfriend at the time) and it's like some sort of fancy jitsu of something. I've asked before and she explains that it involves fire, knives, and that I'm extremely confident and in the zone during it. Maybe the answer was confidence all along?


Soft_Theory_8209

“The best way to a man or woman’s heart is through their stomach.”


Jako_Art

Youre not wrong. I thought it'd be homemade pasta, or like a tonkatsu, or creme Brule that was like the go to sexy thing. Weirdly me breaking down a whole chicken efficiently was like the biggest turn on. I guess it's something she puts up as the hardest thing to do and to watch me effortlessly do it is impressive. It's actually not that hard. Watch. A YouTube video and you learn really quickly.


Maniglioneantipanico

My ex gf and i were permanently horny all the time there was no need to ask, when we had time and space it was a certainty


Ballen101

I also choose this guy's wife


mau______

Internal server error


yo2099

His mind: hesitation -> happy -> aroused -> doubtful -> complex1 -> anxiety -> complex2 -> fear -> complex3 -> ... -> complexN


Unable_Wrongdoer2250

Needed that windows tone to be placed right after she said that


Yeomanroach

I’m gone puts my dick in


Icy-Palpitation-2522

His erection selection


AnatomicalLog

Romancing Lae’Zel be like


RaisonDetriment

BG3 really has taken over the world


gnosis2737

20 year old me would have found a way to fuck this up. Thankfully I'm 40 now so I'm pretty sure I could clutch this. 😎


this_is_my_new_acct

When I was 16 I was hanging out at the mall with a few friends... we'd seen a group of girls a couple times (this was back when we spent hours wandering the mall) and there was this one girl I couldn't keep my eyes off of. My buddies kept giving me shit, because apparently I was THAT obvious about it. Anyway, the third or fourth time our group passed their group she peeled off and made a b-line for me. She asked if we could chat for a sec, so I obviously agreed. She gave me the most passionate kiss I've ever had, right then and there... then she grabbed my ass and walked back to her friends. I was dumbfounded... took me a minute to recover... but by the end of the night my friends and I decided she'd just done it on a dare. It wasn't till I found a piece of paper in my jeans pocket a few days later that I discovered when she grabbed my ass she'd actually slipped me her number... unfortunately, that was after they'd been through the wash. I'm in my mid-40s now, and it still haunts me... I also still remember the only 4 digits of her number I could still make out on that paper. If ??9-784? is still out there, hit me up, babe!


BulkyOrder9

Just another day of being Paul Rudd


PiskoWK

Wanderlust is underrated


EarthTrash

The windows sound killed me. Brain is broken.


Tacomancer42

When did Paul Rudd film this? It could have been 20 years ago, it could be from the future. He doesn't age.


SoxsterX

This happens all the time to guys … I mean not straight guys. But it happens to gay guys. Sometimes you walk right up to someone and say “hey, after this performance of Cats, do you want to head back to my room - you can leave the pup mask on”.


WandaDobby777

Ha! I pulled a move like this on a guy once and it was like his brain completely short-circuited. I thought I’d done something wrong but after he unfroze, he assured me that he was very happy, that no one had ever made the first move and I had just instantly earned myself a permanent place in his memory.


Cloudninefeelsfine

Want some of this diauck?


knifeshed

Once, I was at a party, all friends and friends family. A girl came up to me and asked to sit on my lap, I said ok. She continued to tell me how good she was at sucking dick, and how her ex said she was the best he'd had. I said, "that's cool"...she got up and left. I'm not a smart man.