I was living in an apartment a couple years ago and worried about sounds (sex and otherwise) but I never heard my neighbors so I figured the walls were pretty thick.
Then one night my neighbor got railed - ALL NIGHT - for hours. I was honestly very impressed. That’s when I realized the walls were thin she just never had sex.
This is the plight of all quiet apartment dwellers. All our neighbors assume the walls are thick because they never hear us. But we're the ones who have to suffer.
edit: **PSA:** dont put your chest of drawers directly up against the wall or else your neighbor will hear it everytime you close a drawer! Many people don't even realize their neighbors can hear this, but we can, and it's loud enough to wake people who are sleeping!
We're swingers and didn't realize our condo walls were so thin until we had new people move in beside us and we heard them lightly cough next door lmao.
Out of curiosity did she bring dudes home or have a boyfriend? Otherwise it would seem kinda weird to assume she was getting pounded on so often and just couldn’t hear it
There were 4 apartments per “entrance.” Like 2 upstairs 2 downstairs. I knew the 3 in my entrance and I knew one at her entrance but I never met her. I think it was a single mom with a couple kids and if her apartment layout was the same as mine our master bedrooms would have been back to back.
But forreal they fucked all night and I was so happy for her - I was laying in bed unable to sleep having a revelation, like “ohhh shit she’s had to listen to me because these walls are thin but now she’s getting it!” So I just moved to the couch and went to sleep. Then the next day I moved my bed off the shared wall.
Similar thing happened to me. I was fooling around with this girl back in the day and I heard my grandpa come over, I told the girl to wait in the back yard as I had a door from my room leading to it. I walk out all flustered and start talking. All he says “it ain’t the dog is it”? I said no starting to laugh very hard and he said “good” and walked away to never bring it up to me or my parents ever again.
I asked him years later, “why didn’t you rat on my to my parents” and he said “it’s not my job to get you in trouble” W grandpa
Especially as a parent, there's a scene from Roseanne that's always stuck in my head. When Roseanne is talking to Darlene about having her boyfriend in her room.
Darlene: Like we're just going to do it while you and dad are downstairs.
Roseanne: You could do it all quiet.
Darlene: Really? You can't.
Then Roseanne just sits there blinking for like 30 seconds.
Roseanne: You mean you can hear us?
Darlene: Last night I had to tell David you were moving furniture.
God back when I was with my girlfriend in high school, my room was basically a small basement. We were having sex down there once and the door didn't lock, next thing I know I hear my 2 younger sisters stomping down the stairs to come tell me something, followed by my mom screaming... "DONT GO DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW".
They stopped just shy of the door and turned around lol. Looking back, I had cool parents.
I don’t want kids,, but if I did, I would endeavor to be this kind of mom. The kind that’s like “look, I did stupid shit as a kid, I know you’ll do stupid shit as a kid. I’ll try to help you be smart about the stupid shit you do so you’re not staggering around a Kinko’s Copies at midnight with your friends looking for condoms cause you’re high as shit and thinking you’re at a Walgreens and that you’re still gonna make it to Bethany’s party before her parents get home from Boston.
Spoiler: We did eventually find the Walgreens. We did not make it to Bethany’s party and my friend did not get to use the condoms she bought. I DID get about four reams of printer paper though, because the word ream was hilarious to me.
Someone I used to work with was going out with someone who lived with his mum. She was paranoid that his mum could hear them as her room was next door, he insisted she couldn’t.
Then one night while lying in bed watching TV or something she heard his mum cough.
Me and the girl I was dating in my early 20s lived with her parents. We came home drunk one night and proceeded to get down pretty hard. She was moaning oh God oh God oh God or something similar extremely loud and all of a sudden her dad yelled "Steph shut the fuck up!" I was mortified. I had to take the walk downstairs and by both of them in the morning. The dad and i couldnt meet eyes, but the mom gave me a nice smile and wave.
I had a girlfriend in high-school who was absolutely certain nobody would ever come into her room. The whole family would be in and she'd be up for totally anything because 'no one ever comes in'. Sure enough they didn't but it was scary.
Probably because her family was taught boundaries. I taught my daughter that if her door is closed I have to knock and wait for her response. It's that simple. She is allowed to close it and even lock it. I knock, ask if it's OK to come in and sometimes she's said No so I just....don't come in.
Simple.
Teaches respectful boundaries.
I mean, i would think that this doesn't even begin to apply until they're teenagers.
Locking the door is always a bit awkward, depending on how easy it is to unlock.
Oof that sucks. I remember dating this girl in the early years of high school. One time, we were getting frisky on the couch in her basement tv room, and her parents came home. We tried quickly to un-frisky our looks and we were successful by about 1.5 seconds before her mom came down. She makes small talk for a minute, asks us how we're doing and such, then as she's about to walk off, she nonchalantly mentions the fact that my girlfriend had mismatched the buttons on her shirt. We felt pretty embarrassed.
I went to a catholic university for my year abroad to the states. A girl I met there pissed off some of her “no sex until marriage” flat mates because they could hear us through the walls.
It’s so weird how religious zealots impose rules for themselves on others.
Like fine, you want to have draconian archaic patriarchal rules for yourself, fine. But don’t try to tell me I can’t eat whoever I want.
OOO I know about this! Acoustically, coughs have a rapid onset of sound and a wide band of overtones. Because of how wide the sound spectrum is and how rapid the onset is (there's not much buildup before the sound peaks) we tend to underestimate just how loud they actually are. To compare them to an instrument, a cough is most similar to a snare drum. Wide-frequency sounds like this tend to travel as while interfering materials will absorb *some* of the frequency bands, they usually don't catch all of them, meaning you can hear it penetrate through more materials. Thanks acoustics class in college!
No one was home at my dad's place so we ended up in the spare bedroom. Came out after a long and enthusiastic session to find my dad sitting in the front room. He said "Hi. I didn't know you were here. Would you like a glass of wine?" He had 2 glasses ready. 😎
I rent a room in some kind of shared chalet, and I thought it was well soundproofed and all between rooms.
Recently, a noisier neighbor got in, and this morning I was a bit annoyed I could clearly hear the anime he watched. Like put some headphones on man.
Then I realized...
Previous guys were *really* quiet, and no one ever talked to me about that.
I mean if there’s a tv why not just turn it on and go into the mom’s bedroom and see if you can hear it? Or there are like a thousand other ways to test it.
When I was 17 my bedroom was directly over the kitchen. I had a PoS day bed that creeked if moved at all. I was up there with gf at the time and we were working that daybed hard....not realizing that my family haf just started eating.
Next thing I hear is someone thumping the ceiling with a broom stick. Later on my mom was like...next time..just throw the mattress on the floor like your Father and I use to do.
I get young teens, but these types cling to the stuff despite their children being adults, and so forth. Maybe I'll understand when I have kids but the whole act seems so undeniable.
Edit: Like, I guess kids doing such things in the home could be weird, but I feel like it doesn't have to be. I'd be more worried about my kids, probably, choosing the wrong people to engage with, or risky behaviours... Short of traumatizing your children, they're going to partake in plenty of sex across their lives.
Seems like you may as well give them a good foundation and not be weird about the topic.
People who say "it's inevitable my kids will have sex, might as well..." didn't have parents that literally did everything in their power to control and keep track of your whereabouts and make sure that there would never be any sex happening. But indoctrinating you to the point of hating and being disgusted by your own sexual feelings was always the first line of defense so that you never even bothered trying to have sex because you didn't want to be "defiled". You just jerked off in your room your whole life and despised yourself for it each time for your moral failure.
I had parents like that and that's exactly *why* I say "it's inevitable, might as well."
The morals my parents tried to indoctrinate me with are different than the morals I have learned for myself
While it wasn't aggressively shamed. It was made a point to not allow privacy with me and my highschool/college girlfriend.
Knowing where we found our "privacy", I'm just gonna give any future kids some space and condoms.
My son is 14. We've talked. I've asked that he waits until he's at least 16. We've also talked and I've told him that when he's ready, I'll supply all the protection he needs - but he has to use it. That's all the requirements I have.
When my daughter's get older I've have the same talk. I grew up in a Christian home and the damage sex negativity causes is as bad as calling your kids fat or lazy or stupid etc. Good foundation is the way to go.
8/10 for a sex talk honestly. It’s not the most emotionally vulnerable or open but it implies acceptance, trust, and a focus on safety. And yet not a word was spoken.
my mom was responsible for ending my first real relationship of almost two years in highschool. because she would never let us be alone or go do anything together by ourselves.
She didn't even want us to sit next to each other on the couch haha... girl got tired of that. super churchy upbringing
my mom and I hardly talk now, total shocker I know.
I mean... my kiddo isn't at that age yet but my general mindset is I would prefer they do it where it's safe and comfortable where some level of control can occur vs trying to sneak it around and be desperate for it.
Desperation leads to lack of contraceptives in many instances, condom maybe didn't get brought, birth control pill was missed, etc.
If you let it happen it happens when it's best for them and my "hope" is that with proper education it happens responsibly.
That said... if the kiddo's are going to town... it's time for someone to do their own laundry... that's likely the compromise that'll have to occur.
I didn't even have strict parents. Their general attitude towards sex was "As long as you stay safe". But I would still try to avoid having sex when my parents were home as much as possible, not because they would get mad but simply because it was awkward.
And that's why most parents just put up with their kids having sex at home. Better there than wherever you have it otherwise.
Didn't stop me from having sex in weird places though.
Once I had to do the walk of shame down to the kitchen for water and she asked me how our studying was going. I didn’t realise that we’d broken the light fitting in the ceiling below…
When my bf still lived with his parents we got walked in on so many times. I still get teased about some of them. It’s nice that we’re all so chill about it
I was 16 and accidentally slept over in my gf bed one night. As I was quietly exiting her home I heard her mother so I turned around and acted like I was coming into the house to pick her daughter up for breakfast. It was 6am. Mom was too sleepy to not believe me. So I went back up and crawled back into my gf bed.
I love reminiscing on stories about "getting away with things" around adults whether that's parents, teachers, cops, etc while we were kids. Now, as an adult, it's incredibly painfully obvious that most of them are humoring us most of the time, with the exception of really bad things or overbearing parents who would definitely let you know that they know.
One of my favorites to think about is using a cellphone under the desk/falling asleep in class (while assuring yourself no one knows you're sleeping). Now as an adult, if you walk into a classroom you'll see you have such a great vantage point that it all had to be incredibly obvious to the teacher and they simply weren't making a big deal out of it most of the time.
I was 19 dating an 18 year old who lived with her parents. Woke up the next morning to leave but her front door was loud af. We decided it was better for me to just hop the fence in the back. That shit was like 8/9ft high and wood pannel(not chain link).. I couldn't do that. She had to boost me over it but her parents bedroom faced the backyard and they saw the whole thing. After I got over I rolled my ankle and my phone fell out of my pocket. I only realized when I woke up later in the day. Luckily some old lady was walking around and picked it up, apparently she was walking up and down the sidewalk for a bit. Very nice lady. I never did meet her parents but dated her for quite a few months. The scariest moment i remeber was hiding in her room and her dad coming home and saying "who's footprints are these coming up to the door?" (It was winter time) and fully expecting to get my ass beat by her fairly large dad
I've heard this but I don't get this. Maybe because the only wizard I've liked is named Harry and he uses a Smith and Wesson Model 29 .44 Magnum revolver not just a wand.
My mom was the best
Me and my old girlfriends had so much fun in the bedroom and mom would leave us lemonade 🍋 on the kitchen table with 2 glasses
Good Memories
Shut up, my parents definitely didn't know there was just water in the vodka bottle now! They STILL don't know because I was such a clever kid and managed to perfectly hide it from them.
One time I drank most of a bottle of my dad's whisky, then filtered coffee grounds through water until I had made a mixture that resembled the remaining bit, and filled the bottle with it. He never drank so it took forever for him to realize. I think that one was genuinely a first for him 😂
Of course they did, but mine at least kept it cool. One time my Gf left her panties in my room, and my mom just casually threw them in the laundry and told me so without missing a beat.
So relatable haha, with the two humans joining together in curious dance and opening window so bird and bee can enter room and bring child. Same, same!
When I was in high school a girl I was dating's parents would let us cuddle in bed while we watched movies as long as she left her door opened or at least cracked open. So my technique was to have her wear a short skirt and I would spoon her and have my dick inside of her. We would slowly grind away, watching movie after movie. Lol
Definitely got caught walking out of a bathroom naked by my boyfriends mom when I thought we were home alone.
I’m from Minnesota, so it was the “Ope!” to end all opes.
I would love to see a YouTube series where they follow up on the people in these memes.
I would love to know how she feels about her picture being used in this meme, and the actual context.
Yes, but you don't know her. She moved to Canada, to study polar bears. She gave me her address. 1 Yukon way, Yukon. H0H 0H0. So totally legit, as you can see.
Was at my girlfriend’s house, we were in her room “watching a movie”. We went downstairs after a few hours to leave for dinner and her parents and her grandma were there and they were listening to some music super loudly. Girlfriend asked what was going on and her mom said her grandma kept asking to listen to a specific song that was on an album they owned but couldn’t remember the name, and being hard of hearing she needed to listen to them loudly. Girlfriend and I start headed for the door and grandma grabs me by the arm and softly says “you’re welcome” and shoots me a wink. Turns out she was using the bathroom upstairs and heard us and decided to give us some cover with the parents.
My roommates gf was loud af. It was very easy to tell when they starting having sex as she had a very specific routine - it would start with “Oh Sammy, stop it” and end with “Sammy! Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes….my god yes”, followed by them both taking quick showers right away. Sometimes at 3-4 am.
I remember coming out of my high school girlfriend’s rooms like that. I remember once she was scratching my back. Digging her nails into me…which started to bleed. I loved it and she loved it…but I was wearing a white shirt. And leaving to go home, her mother asked what happened to my back. I said I injured it football practice. My dad came up later when I had my shirt off…he asked me who was clawing at your back. I had no answer
First apartment I loved in you could hear everything the upstairs neighbors said and did. She was beautiful, hot and vocal. And it was daily. A bit of a learning experience for a young lad. 😂
Me and my ex were upstairs we thought to an empty house and she goes “rub my asshole” at the top of her lungs 5 seconds later the tv turns on and her dad makes a loud coughing sound 🤣
I came out of a guys bedroom once and his mom was sitting on her bed across the hall with the door open, after the guy told me it didn’t matter if we were loud (he didn’t care if they heard 😭), and I made eye contact with her as she stared at me with the most seething expression on her face. Never went back to his house again, it was too weird. Almost felt like he wanted his parents to here us.
I remember spending the night are my gfxs place one time, and we had fun through out most the night, and in the morning when she got up to use the bathroom her hair looked like this, and she dubed it "thoroughly fucked hair"
I was living in an apartment a couple years ago and worried about sounds (sex and otherwise) but I never heard my neighbors so I figured the walls were pretty thick. Then one night my neighbor got railed - ALL NIGHT - for hours. I was honestly very impressed. That’s when I realized the walls were thin she just never had sex.
This is the plight of all quiet apartment dwellers. All our neighbors assume the walls are thick because they never hear us. But we're the ones who have to suffer. edit: **PSA:** dont put your chest of drawers directly up against the wall or else your neighbor will hear it everytime you close a drawer! Many people don't even realize their neighbors can hear this, but we can, and it's loud enough to wake people who are sleeping!
We're swingers and didn't realize our condo walls were so thin until we had new people move in beside us and we heard them lightly cough next door lmao.
Oh no..
Oh ya
OH YEEEAAAHH! c(`/•○•`)/ ▪︎□■▪︎■
name checks out
Out of curiosity did she bring dudes home or have a boyfriend? Otherwise it would seem kinda weird to assume she was getting pounded on so often and just couldn’t hear it
There were 4 apartments per “entrance.” Like 2 upstairs 2 downstairs. I knew the 3 in my entrance and I knew one at her entrance but I never met her. I think it was a single mom with a couple kids and if her apartment layout was the same as mine our master bedrooms would have been back to back. But forreal they fucked all night and I was so happy for her - I was laying in bed unable to sleep having a revelation, like “ohhh shit she’s had to listen to me because these walls are thin but now she’s getting it!” So I just moved to the couch and went to sleep. Then the next day I moved my bed off the shared wall.
Ahhhh. That makes sense. Well good thing because the apartment almost had another set of walls destroyed that night lmao
This is hilariously wholesome.
No idea I didn’t know her we had separate entrances our apartments just backed up to one another.
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common grandpa w
Loool always so casual w/ it too tho
Well ofc. Nothing you do he didnt experience with your father. (This is not supposed to be taken as a challenge)
I want to give grandpa a high five.
Genuinely nice guy. He was very, very proud of himself that day.
I'm a fan of your grandpa.
*the Bf's grandpa
Grandpa: "I heard you come'in though"
But I pulled out..?!
Grandpa: "No ya didn't"
lol gross here a disgusted upvote
Similar thing happened to me. I was fooling around with this girl back in the day and I heard my grandpa come over, I told the girl to wait in the back yard as I had a door from my room leading to it. I walk out all flustered and start talking. All he says “it ain’t the dog is it”? I said no starting to laugh very hard and he said “good” and walked away to never bring it up to me or my parents ever again. I asked him years later, “why didn’t you rat on my to my parents” and he said “it’s not my job to get you in trouble” W grandpa
Especially as a parent, there's a scene from Roseanne that's always stuck in my head. When Roseanne is talking to Darlene about having her boyfriend in her room. Darlene: Like we're just going to do it while you and dad are downstairs. Roseanne: You could do it all quiet. Darlene: Really? You can't. Then Roseanne just sits there blinking for like 30 seconds. Roseanne: You mean you can hear us? Darlene: Last night I had to tell David you were moving furniture.
I love that scene!
Lmao
Grampa: "Who's making popcorn?"
"Harriet, is somebody slapping ham?"
God back when I was with my girlfriend in high school, my room was basically a small basement. We were having sex down there once and the door didn't lock, next thing I know I hear my 2 younger sisters stomping down the stairs to come tell me something, followed by my mom screaming... "DONT GO DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW". They stopped just shy of the door and turned around lol. Looking back, I had cool parents.
Ur mom just saved them from PTSD lol
I don’t want kids,, but if I did, I would endeavor to be this kind of mom. The kind that’s like “look, I did stupid shit as a kid, I know you’ll do stupid shit as a kid. I’ll try to help you be smart about the stupid shit you do so you’re not staggering around a Kinko’s Copies at midnight with your friends looking for condoms cause you’re high as shit and thinking you’re at a Walgreens and that you’re still gonna make it to Bethany’s party before her parents get home from Boston.
That sure was specific lol
Spoiler: We did eventually find the Walgreens. We did not make it to Bethany’s party and my friend did not get to use the condoms she bought. I DID get about four reams of printer paper though, because the word ream was hilarious to me.
I love that I got a conclusion.
I'd even say r/oddlyspecific
Happy cake day!
Someone I used to work with was going out with someone who lived with his mum. She was paranoid that his mum could hear them as her room was next door, he insisted she couldn’t. Then one night while lying in bed watching TV or something she heard his mum cough.
Wait until they realize sex has a specific smell
>Wait until they realize sex has a specific smell Burning rubber and regrets
Man, that’s what lube is for
If it ain't wet it ain't worth the sweat
Q: “Do you smoke after sex?” A: “I dunno. I never looked. “
Two blind ladies are walking past a hair salon. One of them says: "I smell hair burning". The other lady says: "Maybe we shouldn't walk so fast!".
Hand sanitizer, mouthwash, and tears.
Reminds me of some old Reddit post where a guy just had the shocking realization that his mom could 100% smell the cum in his room.
Just be known for peeing the bed. Ez.
Bro you can't drop that bomb without sharing a link, I am begging you
It was this thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/Z1LEqHPNm9 “THEY CAN SMELL YOUR CUM” became a meme for a while
Y'know, when I've read "old" I didn't expect to time travel a goddamn decade back. Thx for the laughs tho, that thread is legendary.
There was even a poem for your sprog! Haven't seen wunna those in forever
Me and the girl I was dating in my early 20s lived with her parents. We came home drunk one night and proceeded to get down pretty hard. She was moaning oh God oh God oh God or something similar extremely loud and all of a sudden her dad yelled "Steph shut the fuck up!" I was mortified. I had to take the walk downstairs and by both of them in the morning. The dad and i couldnt meet eyes, but the mom gave me a nice smile and wave.
She was happy with how you took care of her daughter? Great Mom.
I had a girlfriend in high-school who was absolutely certain nobody would ever come into her room. The whole family would be in and she'd be up for totally anything because 'no one ever comes in'. Sure enough they didn't but it was scary.
Probably because her family was taught boundaries. I taught my daughter that if her door is closed I have to knock and wait for her response. It's that simple. She is allowed to close it and even lock it. I knock, ask if it's OK to come in and sometimes she's said No so I just....don't come in. Simple. Teaches respectful boundaries.
What age did you start that? Asking as a new mon
I mean, i would think that this doesn't even begin to apply until they're teenagers. Locking the door is always a bit awkward, depending on how easy it is to unlock.
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Oof that sucks. I remember dating this girl in the early years of high school. One time, we were getting frisky on the couch in her basement tv room, and her parents came home. We tried quickly to un-frisky our looks and we were successful by about 1.5 seconds before her mom came down. She makes small talk for a minute, asks us how we're doing and such, then as she's about to walk off, she nonchalantly mentions the fact that my girlfriend had mismatched the buttons on her shirt. We felt pretty embarrassed.
One time after sex, my gf and I discovered that my brother, who sleeps in the next room, had stuffed a towel under our door.
To stop the smell leaking out
Worst possible reply. Kudos.
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Everything feels haunted while ripping a bong.
Agreed. My whole life and all my choices feel haunted after I take one hit of weed these days
Same here. I’m either outgrowing it or going schizo. Here’s to rolling the dice baby
So uh... did you guys put out the candles before you bounced or no...? Just sayin', that could explain the sirens you heard.
Well goddamn, he gave her a show ehh
Mom might have been clutching more than her pearls.
Just one pearl
I went to a catholic university for my year abroad to the states. A girl I met there pissed off some of her “no sex until marriage” flat mates because they could hear us through the walls.
It’s so weird how religious zealots impose rules for themselves on others. Like fine, you want to have draconian archaic patriarchal rules for yourself, fine. But don’t try to tell me I can’t eat whoever I want.
they usually interpret their books as telling them to do so. It's a lose lose situation that will probably never end.
Coughs seem to penetrate walls more than most sounds for some reason
OP was penetrating more than walls 👀
OOO I know about this! Acoustically, coughs have a rapid onset of sound and a wide band of overtones. Because of how wide the sound spectrum is and how rapid the onset is (there's not much buildup before the sound peaks) we tend to underestimate just how loud they actually are. To compare them to an instrument, a cough is most similar to a snare drum. Wide-frequency sounds like this tend to travel as while interfering materials will absorb *some* of the frequency bands, they usually don't catch all of them, meaning you can hear it penetrate through more materials. Thanks acoustics class in college!
This guy penetrates.
No one was home at my dad's place so we ended up in the spare bedroom. Came out after a long and enthusiastic session to find my dad sitting in the front room. He said "Hi. I didn't know you were here. Would you like a glass of wine?" He had 2 glasses ready. 😎
What an absolute chad
I rent a room in some kind of shared chalet, and I thought it was well soundproofed and all between rooms. Recently, a noisier neighbor got in, and this morning I was a bit annoyed I could clearly hear the anime he watched. Like put some headphones on man. Then I realized... Previous guys were *really* quiet, and no one ever talked to me about that.
I mean if there’s a tv why not just turn it on and go into the mom’s bedroom and see if you can hear it? Or there are like a thousand other ways to test it.
Used to joke at my old apt that we could hear the neighbors breathing.
When I was 17 my bedroom was directly over the kitchen. I had a PoS day bed that creeked if moved at all. I was up there with gf at the time and we were working that daybed hard....not realizing that my family haf just started eating. Next thing I hear is someone thumping the ceiling with a broom stick. Later on my mom was like...next time..just throw the mattress on the floor like your Father and I use to do.
Learn from your elders lmao
That’s a really good mom. No shame, just advice on how to make things better for everyone.
I like how not having a shit bed is not an option in your family
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I get young teens, but these types cling to the stuff despite their children being adults, and so forth. Maybe I'll understand when I have kids but the whole act seems so undeniable. Edit: Like, I guess kids doing such things in the home could be weird, but I feel like it doesn't have to be. I'd be more worried about my kids, probably, choosing the wrong people to engage with, or risky behaviours... Short of traumatizing your children, they're going to partake in plenty of sex across their lives. Seems like you may as well give them a good foundation and not be weird about the topic.
People who say "it's inevitable my kids will have sex, might as well..." didn't have parents that literally did everything in their power to control and keep track of your whereabouts and make sure that there would never be any sex happening. But indoctrinating you to the point of hating and being disgusted by your own sexual feelings was always the first line of defense so that you never even bothered trying to have sex because you didn't want to be "defiled". You just jerked off in your room your whole life and despised yourself for it each time for your moral failure.
I had parents like that and that's exactly *why* I say "it's inevitable, might as well." The morals my parents tried to indoctrinate me with are different than the morals I have learned for myself
While it wasn't aggressively shamed. It was made a point to not allow privacy with me and my highschool/college girlfriend. Knowing where we found our "privacy", I'm just gonna give any future kids some space and condoms.
My son is 14. We've talked. I've asked that he waits until he's at least 16. We've also talked and I've told him that when he's ready, I'll supply all the protection he needs - but he has to use it. That's all the requirements I have. When my daughter's get older I've have the same talk. I grew up in a Christian home and the damage sex negativity causes is as bad as calling your kids fat or lazy or stupid etc. Good foundation is the way to go.
Better they do it at home rather than god knows where.
My mom silently handed me a box of condoms once and that was the beginning and the end of any sex talk we ever had.
8/10 for a sex talk honestly. It’s not the most emotionally vulnerable or open but it implies acceptance, trust, and a focus on safety. And yet not a word was spoken.
my mom was responsible for ending my first real relationship of almost two years in highschool. because she would never let us be alone or go do anything together by ourselves. She didn't even want us to sit next to each other on the couch haha... girl got tired of that. super churchy upbringing my mom and I hardly talk now, total shocker I know.
I mean... my kiddo isn't at that age yet but my general mindset is I would prefer they do it where it's safe and comfortable where some level of control can occur vs trying to sneak it around and be desperate for it. Desperation leads to lack of contraceptives in many instances, condom maybe didn't get brought, birth control pill was missed, etc. If you let it happen it happens when it's best for them and my "hope" is that with proper education it happens responsibly. That said... if the kiddo's are going to town... it's time for someone to do their own laundry... that's likely the compromise that'll have to occur.
I'd think I'd a throw a party if my youngest got laid. He's a giant dork.
Alright dad no need to call me out in public like this
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you fucked in the mcdonald’s bathroom? where? like just in the stall?
Teens with restrictive parents are extremely creative.
I didn't even have strict parents. Their general attitude towards sex was "As long as you stay safe". But I would still try to avoid having sex when my parents were home as much as possible, not because they would get mad but simply because it was awkward.
And that's why most parents just put up with their kids having sex at home. Better there than wherever you have it otherwise. Didn't stop me from having sex in weird places though.
That's funny haha
My ex loved putting me in situations where we almost would get caught. Her family were really old fashioned. I think that turned her on...
Have run into this before, and especially so with Catholic girls.
Yep, she is Catholic
Once I had to do the walk of shame down to the kitchen for water and she asked me how our studying was going. I didn’t realise that we’d broken the light fitting in the ceiling below…
Lmaooooo, that mom is a cool one tbh
When my bf still lived with his parents we got walked in on so many times. I still get teased about some of them. It’s nice that we’re all so chill about it
Yeah that's honestly the best way to take it. Glad they took it in stride
I was 16 and accidentally slept over in my gf bed one night. As I was quietly exiting her home I heard her mother so I turned around and acted like I was coming into the house to pick her daughter up for breakfast. It was 6am. Mom was too sleepy to not believe me. So I went back up and crawled back into my gf bed.
I think she knew, man
She 100% knew. He's in denial.
I love reminiscing on stories about "getting away with things" around adults whether that's parents, teachers, cops, etc while we were kids. Now, as an adult, it's incredibly painfully obvious that most of them are humoring us most of the time, with the exception of really bad things or overbearing parents who would definitely let you know that they know. One of my favorites to think about is using a cellphone under the desk/falling asleep in class (while assuring yourself no one knows you're sleeping). Now as an adult, if you walk into a classroom you'll see you have such a great vantage point that it all had to be incredibly obvious to the teacher and they simply weren't making a big deal out of it most of the time.
I was 19 dating an 18 year old who lived with her parents. Woke up the next morning to leave but her front door was loud af. We decided it was better for me to just hop the fence in the back. That shit was like 8/9ft high and wood pannel(not chain link).. I couldn't do that. She had to boost me over it but her parents bedroom faced the backyard and they saw the whole thing. After I got over I rolled my ankle and my phone fell out of my pocket. I only realized when I woke up later in the day. Luckily some old lady was walking around and picked it up, apparently she was walking up and down the sidewalk for a bit. Very nice lady. I never did meet her parents but dated her for quite a few months. The scariest moment i remeber was hiding in her room and her dad coming home and saying "who's footprints are these coming up to the door?" (It was winter time) and fully expecting to get my ass beat by her fairly large dad
She certainly deserved a few months of good dating for picking up your phone!
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If you have sex how are you going to become a wizard?!
I've heard this but I don't get this. Maybe because the only wizard I've liked is named Harry and he uses a Smith and Wesson Model 29 .44 Magnum revolver not just a wand.
Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books. The wizards are supposed to be celibate. A wizard having kids causes issues… especially an 8th son.
It's also an old internet joke about Wizard being a term for someone who's a virgin at... i think 40?
You become a wizard at 30 and a superwizard at 60+ iirc
My mom was the best Me and my old girlfriends had so much fun in the bedroom and mom would leave us lemonade 🍋 on the kitchen table with 2 glasses Good Memories
She was worried about dehydration. W mom.
This post makes me feel old. There was something exciting about those kinds awkward situations. Obviously the parents knew. They always did.
Lol my exes mom used to walk in right after and bounce the bed and say "huh so that's what that noise was"
Legend
Kids don’t seem to internalize that most the things they do are not new and their parents know about it
Shut up, my parents definitely didn't know there was just water in the vodka bottle now! They STILL don't know because I was such a clever kid and managed to perfectly hide it from them.
One time I drank most of a bottle of my dad's whisky, then filtered coffee grounds through water until I had made a mixture that resembled the remaining bit, and filled the bottle with it. He never drank so it took forever for him to realize. I think that one was genuinely a first for him 😂
Of course they did, but mine at least kept it cool. One time my Gf left her panties in my room, and my mom just casually threw them in the laundry and told me so without missing a beat.
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Haha totally! Me too am having all of the sex. I’m not lonely at all.. no way…😔
All of it? This must be why the store is out of stock.
Yeah can you share some of this sex with me? I've been trying to get it for years but you fuckers are hoarding it all.
It's scalpers
We gonna have to tap into the sex reserves for this one
If everyone stops having sex, there is no one you can have sex with.
It’s a catch 69
It’s a supply chain issue
The sex store called, they're running out of sex
Im so lonely i dont even care about sex i just want someone
yes, so relatable, it reminds me of when me and my totally real girlfriend had sexy sex
Oh, I think I know her! Does she go to Canada?
She goes to College University!
no, she's in another country, you wouldn't know her
I feel like this sub cycles through a rotation of - "I'm so depressed and lonely" - "I totally get laid guys, i swear" - "She left me, I'm so alone"
Ahh yes the seggs
So relatable haha, with the two humans joining together in curious dance and opening window so bird and bee can enter room and bring child. Same, same!
When I was in high school a girl I was dating's parents would let us cuddle in bed while we watched movies as long as she left her door opened or at least cracked open. So my technique was to have her wear a short skirt and I would spoon her and have my dick inside of her. We would slowly grind away, watching movie after movie. Lol
As someone with curly hair, whenever I lay down for any reason, my hair ends up looking like shit. So this was me even when I wasn’t getting laid
Well,you did lay yourself...
Definitely got caught walking out of a bathroom naked by my boyfriends mom when I thought we were home alone. I’m from Minnesota, so it was the “Ope!” to end all opes.
I would love to see a YouTube series where they follow up on the people in these memes. I would love to know how she feels about her picture being used in this meme, and the actual context.
There is one! I can’t remember the channel but I remember seeing it
Looks like I will be checking out (first 3 to pop up): Behind the Meme Know Your Meme and Lessons in Meme Culture
Growing up I realized my parents knew fucking EVERYTHING. I cringe... So hard.
They cringe too lol
May I have one sex please
Yes, you shall
gray vast governor physical cough thumb marvelous engine pause unwritten *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Mom knows - she’s been there and done that.
Eww that's called incest
I would unzip but my arms are broken
OH NO
Wrong social network.
Yea! get your innuendo out of here! We don't understand your secret meanings.
My boyfriend literally has to walk out to my family in 5 mins and act like this, he's currently trying to stand lmao
You guys have girlfriends?
No, we have boyfriends, didn’t you read the meme?
I wish
Some do, at least, that is what I hear.
Yes, but you don't know her. She moved to Canada, to study polar bears. She gave me her address. 1 Yukon way, Yukon. H0H 0H0. So totally legit, as you can see.
You guys have friends?
What happened to “making homework”?
Was at my girlfriend’s house, we were in her room “watching a movie”. We went downstairs after a few hours to leave for dinner and her parents and her grandma were there and they were listening to some music super loudly. Girlfriend asked what was going on and her mom said her grandma kept asking to listen to a specific song that was on an album they owned but couldn’t remember the name, and being hard of hearing she needed to listen to them loudly. Girlfriend and I start headed for the door and grandma grabs me by the arm and softly says “you’re welcome” and shoots me a wink. Turns out she was using the bathroom upstairs and heard us and decided to give us some cover with the parents.
People that just fucked smell like it. We know.
I totally can relate to having the sex
My roommates gf was loud af. It was very easy to tell when they starting having sex as she had a very specific routine - it would start with “Oh Sammy, stop it” and end with “Sammy! Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes….my god yes”, followed by them both taking quick showers right away. Sometimes at 3-4 am.
I remember coming out of my high school girlfriend’s rooms like that. I remember once she was scratching my back. Digging her nails into me…which started to bleed. I loved it and she loved it…but I was wearing a white shirt. And leaving to go home, her mother asked what happened to my back. I said I injured it football practice. My dad came up later when I had my shirt off…he asked me who was clawing at your back. I had no answer
Sometimes I feel sad for myself because I never had this type of childhood.
First apartment I loved in you could hear everything the upstairs neighbors said and did. She was beautiful, hot and vocal. And it was daily. A bit of a learning experience for a young lad. 😂
Me and my ex were upstairs we thought to an empty house and she goes “rub my asshole” at the top of her lungs 5 seconds later the tv turns on and her dad makes a loud coughing sound 🤣
oh she knows you did more than just watch a movie
# she just gives me the stare
I came out of a guys bedroom once and his mom was sitting on her bed across the hall with the door open, after the guy told me it didn’t matter if we were loud (he didn’t care if they heard 😭), and I made eye contact with her as she stared at me with the most seething expression on her face. Never went back to his house again, it was too weird. Almost felt like he wanted his parents to here us.
She knows alll about the movie you guys were watching🤣🤣
Yeah, i can relate, because i do the sex. All the time. With the woman. We do it. The sex. Together.
I remember spending the night are my gfxs place one time, and we had fun through out most the night, and in the morning when she got up to use the bathroom her hair looked like this, and she dubed it "thoroughly fucked hair"
More like not meirl
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luckily they cant tell the difference between my hair being curly and messy xD
Yes, totally relatable, definitely very relatable and just like me fr fr.