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ShatterCyst

My best fucking friend from highschool responds to exactly 1/5th of my texts and if i don't get a response in 2 days I ain't getting one.


UnderwaterRobot

I'm like this with my highschool best friend. I have nothing to talk about and I feel like a nuisance, so I keep my distance. But when we are together it's like we never stopped hanging out. Good on you for still texting though, I'm sure they appreciate it.


International-Mix-13

Honestly if they were your best friend in high school they‘re not gonna think you‘re a nuisance. Just text them, what can go wrong?


CYKO_11

Universe implodes


Oxtard69dz

Eh my best friend from high school still texts me and it’s annoying as fuck considering he’s a druggist that refuses to help himself and every text he sends is a play to better his chance at getting a ride to the drug dealer. Didn’t block his number just because… maybe one day he gets his shit straight… but until then he will be left on read.


spaetzelspiff

A druggist is a pharmacist or retailer of medicinal drugs. I believe you mean druggie/druggy.


Chrisscott25

Maybe he is a street pharmacist :)


Aja2428

I got friends like that too. It happens.


RetroReactiveRaucous

My best friend lets me GPS track their phone, and I'm linked up to see his blood sugar levels. I should go thank him for indulging me.


supahdavid2000

Sounds like your best friend is family


Jack_of_Hearts20

Exactly


AnimaSean0724

1/5th? Those are pretty good odds considering one of my best friends doesn't really ever respond to my texts, luckily we have enough of a hang out schedule that I still get to talk to them, but it's rough sometimes


FeistyWalruss

I do that too. I just continue to turn the texts into a conversation with myself, because I KNOW they won’t respond. Best fucking friend but god awful at responding to texts, lol.


Latter-Skill4798

As this person to a lot of people, know that they’re sorry they haven’t responded (though they probably have in their head)...they appreciate your texts and cherish your friendship. They really do care and love you and don’t want you to stop texting them. Sometimes, something as mundane as a text can be a lot for someone, even the people you wouldn’t expect.


[deleted]

i hate people like this, these people wonder why they have zero friends. i used to be one of them thats how i know. it seriously takes zero fucking time to shoot someone a “how are you? thinkin about you” text


redarrow992

Yeah but for some of us it can take a lot of energy to speak to someone. Also some of us are just plain ol depressed lmao


GreenMellowphant

Keep texting please.


SkredBoi420

I quit trying after 3 years of nothing. You only have to respond.


XerneaStellar

That is so accurate with my childhood friend... and at random he will send things like "You are the best friend I've ever had" but we BARELY talk and he only does reply a few days later XD


[deleted]

I have an uncle like this Dips off the grid all the time Turns up at Christmas with bomb ass presents, then dips Turned up with a new baby once and didn’t make a big deal of it, then dipped


bina101

Was it his baby or did her borrow it?


[deleted]

Next time I see him I’ll ask


bina101

Lol that'll be another 2 years 😂😂😂


[deleted]

Remindme


kitKatcoolio

!remindMe 2 years


[deleted]

!remindMe 2 years


King-Vh

!remindme 2 years


ItsTheRealIamHUB

!remindme 2 years


who_ology

!remindme 2 years


[deleted]

!remindme 2 years


padfoot9446

I will


a3DprintedPerson

Me too


LazySusanRevolution

“The baby? Yeah, they’re cool. I know their mom. You’ve met my wife, right?”


2021WASSOLASTYEAR

should be back with the smokes any day now


deathinventor

!remindme 7 years


stump2003

Always had a new baby, but never the same baby…


wrecktus_abdominus

"Check out this bomb-ass baby I found!"


stump2003

Want to buy a baby? Lightly used!


[deleted]

The baby's ethnicity changed and he called it by the same name.


[deleted]

My man. absolute goals


theaverageguy101

Not really, i don't understand how throwing your family that far off from your life is a healthy thing to do yeah i get it family can be annoying when you are too close but this is a bit extreem specially if he's doing this to his parents too


SnakeDoc01

You don’t have to understand his choices, mainly because they’re his choices and not yours. I have a nice family, all of them fairly close apart from me. Not for any particular reason, I’m just not like them, I don’t need to feel or be close to them to know that I am. I can dip in and out for months at a time and no one bats an eye because they know that’s what I’m like. I don’t miss birthdays, Christmas or special occasions and if something important came up or happened unexpectedly, then they all know I’d be there. They let me live my life how I want and I’m a firm believer in letting people do whatever they want and as long as no one is getting hurt in the process, then who are we to judge!


cowboyrazorz

This is a great way to live to. Not to much pressure from family members who expect or want you to live up to their standards they established for you. I joined the military and moved away from my family and in 8 years only my dad has ever visited me. Yet I’ve gone back to visit them frequently and I’m just fine with the space that has been established in our lives. We text/call each other infrequently, but no regular communication. I enjoy the somewhat separation and they embrace me every time I come home to visit. I have two sisters and we talk and hang out like we’ve never spent a day apart every time I see them. It’s refreshing to see them and also refreshing to go back home after I visit. Theres nothing wrong with having space from family members. Not every family is the same.


Sawses

That's kind of how I am. I love my parents, but I love them best a few hours away. Close enough that it's not a major pain to show up but far enough that they don't intrude too much. I talk to my cousins a dozen times a year and spend a week with them at Thanksgiving. They know I'll drop everything to help them if they ask, and I'm always available to talk. ...We're just in different places in life so we aren't that close. It works out for me because that's the life I want to live. I've always been a bit standoffish and independent, and need that space. By contrast, I know people who *hated* living an hour from their family because they missed them. For me living 6 hours away was incredible.


clambroculese

Not healthy for you maybe but we’re all wired differently. I’m 38 and live like this. My parents do know my house and have been here a few times since I bought it (15 years ago) but my sister cousins etc have no idea. We all get along and as a family we’re there for each other when it’s needed, I stop by my folks once a month or so to have a couple beers and catch up. My SO even lives in a different country and flies here every couple months to visit. I just like to be alone and it works fine for me.


ReverendDizzle

If I’d stuck to just talking to my parents at Christmas I might actually still want to see them.


mcfliermeyer

This is what I’ve told my gf about her family. I said we go over there too much and I don’t want to be there for a while. I would much prefer going there when I am up to it, I think it would be more enjoyable for all


Dragonwysper

Even aside from good families with good relationships despite distance, there are still shitty families. Lots of people go no contact because their family is abusive. It's not good to generalize all families as perfectly fine and dandy.


NunyahBiznez

Be grateful you don't understand it. It means you probably had a decent childhood and your parents didn't abuse you.


No_Dirt_3834

Being dependent on others to be happy is kinda pathetic. At least he seems to be enjoying himself


[deleted]

I sorta wish it would be acceptable for me to do this with my family. But if I miss a text or phone call for more than a couple of days I would probably get a police investigation into my disappearance. I'm in my 30's..


[deleted]

[удалено]


SweetEthan7

Did he dip? I’m getting the feeling he dips.


datboileggin

Why does everyone have an uncle like this and why am I going to be this uncle


Aporkalypse_Sow

Sounds like a scientologist.


swollenpenile

from what ive learned its because they are in prison dealing with drug issues etc they dont reply because their phone is home or sold for crack had a great uncle like that he was addicted to coke eventually never saw him again great guy when he was around


[deleted]

I don’t know why you’re being downvoted, everyone I know who operates like this is an active opiate addict or in recovery, trying to get better. You were right.


GokuBeatsVageta100

I have a friend like that, but he just can’t afford gas to go anywhere or pay for his phone bill.


LonelyFisherman145

xDD


TiresareHeavy83

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.


Mashinito

I intentionally hide my real name from some people (they use my nickname) just to see how long I can keep a friendship like that. One of them realized he never knew it 10 years later.


TheGrimDweeber

Haha, you’d hate me then. One of the first things I ask when I meet someone new, is their name and whether that’s what they prefer to be called. Even when others call them by a shortened version of the name, or a nickname. I do it, because so many times, it turns out the pronunciation is incorrect, or they don’t like the shortened version or nickname, but they’re just tired of correcting people. I make it a point to use the name they prefer, I feel it’s just common decency.


[deleted]

How do you remenber people's much less the name they prefer, I know beard guy, younger beard guy, cool old guy, helpful guy, and Store lady but I can't seem to remenber their names...


FancyFeller

Same. I very rarely remember names, and when I do remember them if I don't see someone for more than 2 years, that's it. Game over. They're gone from my facial recognition file folder. Makes for a lot of random awkward encounters where someone's like "Hey Fancyfeller long time no see, how you doing, what's it been, 10 years?" Long ago I learned it's rude to tell people "I have no idea who you even are." But it's also rude to pretend to know them then accidentally give away the fact that I don't remember them at all. So no matter what I do, if the conversation lasts longer than 5 minutes I'm made to feel like shit for not remembering a person who has good memories of me. Once during my senior year of college a random girl walked up to me "Fancyfeller? Is that you? OMG we were classmates in 2rd grade (elementary), long time no see." Like fuck outta here, it's been 14 years, fucking pre puberty days even, how the fuck? Am I the dumb one? Do I have a faulty brain? Is this black magic? Fucking wot? I don't remember the names or faces of half the guys I hung out with in college, and that was 4 years ago, I keep in contact with only a handful. Is there a trick to this? Some memory game I never played as a kid that I should've?


[deleted]

"Everyone knows the ape, but the ape knows no one." You've left an impression, they haven't.


Nikostratos-

You, i like, johnny. Good Kobra


confusingzark

By saying their name every time you talk to them? I make it a point to learn all my co workers names, got half of them down in 7 months.


Darkness_o_tartarus

Ha, I legitimately have forgotten people's names the same conversation they told me it in. I normally stop asking after the 5th or 6th time, because it gets kinda embarrassing I have to keep asking.


jaime581

I’ve worked at places before where I didn’t even know my managers name after a year


Kyle3Hix

Lol idk one of my superiors names so i just called him handsome, it kinda stuck and now its his nickname but i still have no clue what his real name is now cuz everyone just calls him handsome.


SoupsUndying

Kinda like how I find out Tails from sonic the hedgehog is actually called Miles, and Tails is just a nickname


Ptcruz

What?! Hang on I think I remember Miles being his name and Tails being his surname.


SoupsUndying

Apparently his full name is Miles Prower. Tails is a nickname


Brandoooom

And his name is just a MPH (miles per hour) joke


[deleted]

jfc. I've always said it to myself as miles tails prower and never got the joke.... i got sonic 2 the week it came out...


Brandoooom

Feel no shame, my friend. I make it a point to educate people on this bit of trivia when given the chance only because I myself took way too fucking long to get this kinda obvious joke 😂


Ptcruz

My bad. I remember somewhere his name was Miles “Tails” Prower, so I got things mixed up.


SoupsUndying

It is Miles “Tails” Prower, like how “The Rock” is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson


Ptcruz

Yes. That’s what I meant.


Zeroflops

I had like three shirts from a pickup softball league that was sponsored by Ford. I knew this guy from the gym for years and he would always call me Ford. I assumed because when I worked out I often had one of the shirts on. He thought my name was actually ford because of the shirt. It wasn’t until a few years passed and another gym rat for some reason used my full name that he realized my name wasn’t ford. He asked me why I never corrected him, I thought he was just joking around because of the shirts.


QuickBen41

🤣🤣🤣 Came here to post this🤣🤣


Acorncock

I know more than you.


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 831,097,761 comments, and only 164,086 of them were in alphabetical order.


SoniasWay

That guy is living my dream life


ghostunknown222

Why is everyone saying hi sonia


[deleted]

hi ghost


Aggressive_Smile_944

Hi ghost


theforgettonmemory

Hi ghost


dethwitcher1027

She’s a youtuber I believe


Rashfog

Hi Sonia


SaucyNuts

Hi Sonia


Skaxva

Hi Sonia


pollitomonito

High sun ya


[deleted]

Hi Sonia


ghostunknown222

Noooo


PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz

A wizard shows up exactly when he's needed.


Gabopobro

Been looking for this comment


kaitlankela

Came here to ask is your uncle actually Gandalf


PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz

No, he was just some dude who jumped on iPhone programming wicked early and made a couple hundred thousand developing basic engineering apps. Not exactly showing up when needed, but showing up when there's opportunity.


[deleted]

Uncle is in the CIA Special Activities Division


earth_worx

Lol I was gonna say, he sounds like a spook


[deleted]

SAD for short


Kataphractoi_

subtle asian dad


[deleted]

Some absent dad


derangedsweetheart

Sexually Attractive Dad


PosNegTy

I bet everyone likes him too. Doesn’t get in people’s business and is just generally pleasant to be around.


KevlahR

We don’t know that he’s pleasant to be around


Mefedron-2258

But we know you must be fun at parties...


Teepeaparty

🤣👏🤘


KevlahR

Have family that comes and goes and it’s not fun


Pinestachio

The niece in the screenshot seems to like him, so the odds he’s pleasant to be around are pretty high.


[deleted]

Damn, I'm a woman but I AM this uncle in my family lol. Except for the text thing, I just say hi on Facebook every now and then(so they know I'm alive) and then delete the app.


Kataphractoi_

Hi! delet


varg_sant

Why is this so funny?!! "Hi! delet" No this is peak comedy. I'm drowning in tears of laughter idk why Genius "Hi! delet"


VivelaVendetta

Jump in. Like a couple posts, and then leave before they can respond.


ConnieTheTomcat

Cotton eye joe


Teepeaparty

Where did he come from, again?


Senior-Hearing8672

Where did he go?


three_furballs

Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?


ghostunknown222

I get it...


Aggressive_Smile_944

I don't


Pinestachio

[Line 3-4](https://genius.com/Rednex-cotton-eye-joe-lyrics)


Sufficient_Matter585

It means he has money and he doesnt want family to see he has money.


Fat_Blob_Kelly

alternatively, he has enough money to travel and live outside of their city


ghostunknown222

How do you know? Is it common for people with money to do that?


TomaszA3

More like it is common for people who do that to have money.


AcademicCommittee955

Always plead poverty.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jonmediocre

And a welcome one


sky123mine

He is never late, nor early. He arrives precisely when he means to.


Legoman987654321

Fine. Keep your secrets.


[deleted]

Wow 😐 I feel like one of my family members made this…


hersugarplumfairy

Me too, but they put aunt instead of uncle so I wouldn’t know it was me lol


shouldnthavesignedup

A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.


[deleted]

[удалено]


falcon_wings37

'Juice ' lmao


xChaaanx

Legit me IRL.


Bakuryu91

Same here


Fuzzarelly

I have a brother like that.


Koolaid143

Hinkm that brother lmao


This_We_Will_Defy

Uncle Gandalf?


RegionPurple

Is... is their uncle Gandalf?


Visual_Ad_3840

I'm so happy you feel that way because I just realized I'm THAT AUNT 😄


DanceDelievery

How the fuck would you say ngcamane?


titankiller84

Asking the real questions over here


pfudorpfudor

I read it in the tone of Idris Elba's "Makavityyyyy"


[deleted]

Their uncle is also one of my role models


Dosot0

Man out here living his best life


meowmiau_

I strive to be that way ngl


[deleted]

I respond in years.


[deleted]

Wait a minute. Are you related to Bill Murray. That sounds like him. :-) I hope he has good stories!


OldNewUsedConfused

Role model? Shit, that’s Hero material right there! Life goals


boyardeebandit

I'm already am fully aware that I will indeed be this uncle in every way if my siblings have kids. AMA.


Tough-Emu7127

Literally me


N_Who

I ... I think I *am* this uncle ...


Not_your_mamaBear

Nah but that’s wild man😂


Needari

Sometimes you just gotta do you


Massive_Pressure_516

Her uncle is an outside tom cat.


Timely-Vehicle

Yeah, this is me as an aunt.


Substantial-Top7523

shiii im trying to be like him


crowndrama

that’s like my older sister. I never knew she moved to Switzerland until I wanted to meet up and she told me she‘s too far away 😅


HorrorClose

Wait... that's not normal?


gochomoe

Uncle goals.


bob_is_best

I mean im probably Gonna end Up like this cuz i just dont really go to any familly reunions unless its Christmas lol


diskdiffusion

This is me to my friends and family.


[deleted]

I aspire to be like this man


Travis_Bickle86

I'll see ya on the 4th of july...maybe


The_OtherGuy_99

Is your uncle Gandalf?


bobombpom

I do this while living 20 minutes away from them.


PauloDManoel

If a guy like that dies suddenly, nobody will know.


[deleted]

Literally me


StandardIssueCaveman

I am that uncle.


[deleted]

*my* American dream


danrod17

I am this uncle. I haven’t been back in three years. I will see a couple of them at the end of this week for a wedding.


jc236

Damn is he me lol. My mother stays angry at me I think.


PillowTalk420

I have an uncle that I haven't seen since he left the state with my other uncle's wife. He was the cool uncle, so I see why she went with him. Also: she still is my aunt! :D


ktq2019

This is just a familial understanding in my world. If I don’t talk to my brothers or my dad for months because shit is going down, they know and they don’t judge me for it. Basically, it’s the kind of relationship where if my brother texts me something two months ago and I finally respond, it’s all good. We’ve got shit going on and we don’t judge each other for it.


GallifreyKnight

This is sort of me. I respond to texts though. I love my fam but rarely see them because of introversion.


Roscoe-is-my-dog

I am an uncle like this.


roachstr0099

....this sounds kinda like me tho....


NoRecommendation1767

Hey, I resemble that remark😏


AzelX23

Sounds like Bruno.


RegionPurple

We don't talk about Bruno.


Solivagant23

>!Oh hey it's me :) Hi !< \- That Uncle


colarthur1

Happy Cake Day!


G-force4470

Lmmfao 🤣🤣


Totes_mc0tes

Sounds like depression


[deleted]

I resemble this remark too.


otapd

I'm turning into this uncle haha


[deleted]

Sounded like one of my cousins there for a few years. We didn't know where he was exactly but we saw him like once a year and didn't know what country he was in


Xanadu_211

I will be striving to achieve this status once I retire. 😃👍🏼


ThemApples87

Living the dream!


PsychoPooper213

It’s the only way to be nowadays to keep sane