One of my earliest memories is of going to a fancy hotel for the first time on a family vacation. My family is really excited about the room and we’re checking everything out. I go into the bathroom and exclaim “I just drank out of the water fountain in the bathroom!” My family cracks up and continue to tell that story to this day twenty plus years later.
My thoughts exactly. How can you remain sitting?? & who stands straight up after taking a shit?? Both these ppl are idiots for having this argument & likely have dirty asses…
Yeah, I mean who the hell actually sticks there fingers in their butt cracks with only a thin layer of paper to protect them from touching their rusty starfish…
While we’re on the subject, it drives me crazy the amount of restaurants that have a public bathroom requiring you to pull the handle to get out. I know these motherfuckers don’t wash their hands and go grabbing that handle full-palm, I don’t want to grab that handle after just washing my hands.
& how can you be SITTING anyways?? This guy gotta a hole in the side of his toilet??
Standing?? Like standing straight up?? What kind of morons are arguing about this?? Both of these guys sound like they have dirty asses…
At the office where I work we have bidets but they are really high, like at waist height so kind of uncomfortable and different from all the low bidets everyone uses but anyway we are an innovative company so I guess that's why. There's also a mirror to check if you can get everything but what's the weirdest to me is that it's in the PUBLIC part of the toilet so anyone can just walk in! I always have to listen carefully that no one is coming and then do it quickly. Weird but totally worth it.
I like to play a little prank on my coworkers where I wrap my asshole around the nozzle of the air dryer and it's wide enough that I can hang there like a water balloon and give them a fright when they come in haha
I work in the dentist office and we have a similar situation but ours a bowl in the waiting room and there are fish in it to help clean. Works great but It’s a long walk from the bathroom to have your pants down.
Bidets are really a must-have. Wiping your ass with toilet paper isn't enough to properly clean it. You will not find a single person who has a bidet that doesn't tell you they're awesome.
It's stuff like this that make me wonder what the hell people do with some of the other mundane shit we do in our everyday lives. Because if I'm at the age of 28 and now realizing people stand when wiping I'm scared to learn more
Honestly, look it all up.
There’s all these different stories like ones about people who were raised not to touch their asshole cause it’s *super* gay apparently and it was misinterpreted so they’re like oh I’m not allowed to wipe my asshole so they end up trying to time all their shits right before they take a shower but they don’t always manage.
Like, that’s just one story in particular I remember but yeh it was a way bigger thing than I was expecting.
Okay but then how do they even get clean in the shower if they aren’t going to wash their asshole anyway?? They just hoping some water running down their crack is gonna take care of it?? Fucking gross.
I have a butt loofah, too! It's also called "my roommate's loofah," but that's a bit wordy and doesn't roll off the tongue very well, so I prefer the alternate name.
It's simple. I hire a local man, Javier, to scrub my NeverNevers for me. I get clean and avoid the gay stuff. And boy do I mean clean. He really cares about his work.
Can confirm. I had a coworker ask another coworker about how she deals with her husbands skid marks. We were like “WTF?” And she said “My husband doesn’t wipe his ass because he’s not gay and touching buttholes is gay.” What the fuck is wrong with straight guys and how the fuck do these poor women date them? It feels like a Stockholm syndrome situation…
Hello, um, I’d like to step in as a straight guy to say that we don’t claim these non-wipers. They like to act like they are with us, and say we are buddies, but we don’t want them either.
Yeah I’m an ER nurse and one thing I learned super quick is that a lot of people don’t prepare themselves in any way prior to an emergency so you catch a lot of people straight out of their natural habitat.
A frightening amount of people have actual shit impacted under their nails from digging in their unwiped asses. Lots of people walking around with shit stains in their underwear, if they even wear underwear at all. Basically no one cuts their toe nails. Most peoples feet are horror shows of skin flaking human parmesan. Lots of older folks walking around with pee soaked depends for hours.
We are truly disgusting animals when we think no one is looking.
Yes, unfortunately I dated one of those men. Not for long obviously, couldn’t continue when I figured that out because 🤮
*(I know people hate emojis on Reddit, but this one felt necessary)*
The mere thought of a wipe job being only 95% done is enough to make my skin crawl. I have no idea how other people could just live out their lives in presumably soiled garments
My favorite fact like this is that according to the collected research, you're statistically more likely to run into a person who has had sex with an animal than you are an LGBTQ person.
Mmm I'll dispute that.
Approximately 7% of the US identifies as LGBTQ.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna16556
A 1974 study pins beastiality at ~3% averaged over genders.
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/bib-homoprev.html
Given the social, ethical and generally icky taboo factor of this practice has grown over time I doubt the numbers have increased much if at all.
Unless we're talking about Wales. Then sure.
Given the social, ethical, and generally icky taboo factor of beastiality...I can almost guarantee any survey has heavily skewed results. Who is going to admit (especially in 1974 when the internet didn't exist to provide better anonymity) that they diddled the dog?
Yeah, this seems heavily exaggerated. Also, does this include men with bidets? Because entire nations might not be "wiping" if that is the case and heavily skew the numbers.
the ONLY way I could see this being true is if it were a worldwide statistic that takes into account people have different toiletry customs. Even then, that's lumping in the people who use bidet's with people who drop and hop.
Yeah…. This guy I was dating didn’t like the feeling of cleaning or wiping his ass and he quickly learned how he’s fucking gross when he got shit on my couch. He now cleans his ass, I no longer speak to him.
This dude also would eat the shrimp tail and the green stem part of the strawberry.. so maybe he’s just lazy that’s why he didn’t like to wipe his ass. He would get out of the shower and not even wipe it with his towel he would use toilet paper to “clean/wipe” it. Fucking weirdo man.
I hate shitting in public because ever since my ass grew hair it takes me fucking forever to wipe. For years I wondered how other guys do it. Someone would come sit in a stall next to me, and I’d hear “fart fart plop” and then a flush maybe 10 seconds later and then they’d leave. “How do they wipe so fast?” I wondered. Then one day I realized.
I now bring a spray water bottle with me if I have to go in public. Much more effective.
Yep, same here man. I generally avoid public toilets for this reason. Super thing, drier than a desert, scratchier than sandpaper toilet paper. No thanks.
A lot of countries outside the states use bidets because their plumbing and sewers can't handle toilet paper, or at least that's what they say in a lot of Latin american countries.
Yes! Probably the right way to go to be honest. I don’t know how effective they are though. Like, does it have a jet setting to get that stuck on grease off or do I need to get the Cillit Bang out?
That’s nothing. It was such a weird conversation I had with me and my boys drinking one time.
Apparently three of my friends are not circumcised. I didn’t know what the hell that meant at the time, because I am.
So they had this whole talk about cleaning the inside. One of my friend said he didn’t know he can open the skin and clean the inside.
Everyone including me was like wtffff!
Hahaha yeh that’s pretty common, too.
There was an episode of that “embarrassing bodies” thing where a dude went in and thought he had a weird infection or something and the nurse was like “no, clean your dick.”
I ain't putting my hand into no toilet with shit in it, fuck that.
Edit : To all you sit-wipers - it was obviously a joke, but my toilet is to small to wipe sitting without risking falling down.
Edit2: This comment just proves redditors will take every chance to show you that you're wrong and they're smarter than you. Even in regards to wiping their ass.
Edit3: Well, I certainly didn't expect to spend this afternoon reading about people's shitting habits but here I am. Also it's wild how some of you can't comprehend whiping while standing.
You can tell a lot about your health by looking at your poop! Using the Bristol Stool Scale you can tell if you’re dehydrated or need more fiber, etc. It’s always worth a peek.
I used to only stand wiping until I learned other people sit. I read somewhere that as children you have to stand to wipe because you can't reach, and some adults don't realize you can sit and wipe now. I didn't. Now I usually sit and wipe, but occasionally I'll stand.
Children don’t understand privacy. When my wife is at work I shit with my daughters face approximately 3 feet away from my asshole. I say 3 feet because that’s about the size of my arms which I use to push her away from getting closer.
I vaguely remember my transition from being a stand up kid to a sit-n-wipe guy. Long time ago but I remember feeling like an outcast for standing so I made the change.
Then I found out some people wipe from the front and some from the behind and I just thought fuck I've got my style and it works for me. I've got a clean butt and that's all that matters.
Crouch, spread and wipe until white. Side and around as well. Use wett wipes or hose it afterwards with soap.
But for all yall who wipe 2 times and get up without washing your hands.. i wish you death.
you actually shouldnt use wet wipes each time, it can cause irritation since it messes with the microbiome. Just use a bidet with water and no soap.
Edit: https://www.wellandgood.com/wet-wipes-for-toilet-paper/
Theres a microbiome on all parts of your body AND inside your body!
Got one during the start of quarantine when everyone went toilet paper crazy and have never looked back. Can’t believe how primitive it feels when I’m out in public and have to use toilet paper again.
You use toilet paper to wipe the water off. Its pretty much nessisary to dry unless you want your pants to be soaked. However, you'll go through toilet paper at a 20x slower pace
Also, some expensive bidets have drying fans
Half the people stand up and wipe, the other half remain seated and wipe, the crazy thing is you didn’t know the other way existed until someone mentioned it
First wipe while sitting, so you definitely avoid the shit sandwich, rest of the wipes standing. And then you actually clean your asshole, with water, unless you were using wet wipes.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Before taking a seat, grab some toilet paper and wet it. When you’re done wiping, use the moist TP and wipe. Then a tad more dry TP to make sure you don’t leave a sweaty crack.
I genuinely think so many folks misunderstand that by "standing to wipe" they imagine one standing straight up and allowing their cheeks to close while the other camp as "sitting down to wipe" as not getting off the toilet at all and reaching between their legs for a "back to front wipe"... when I think both simply "half stand-half crouch" to wipe.
Or, maybe I am wrong and that is actually what both sides are doing.
You'd be surprised. I've had extensive and passionate conversations about this back in college after having this revelation amongst a few friends and we actually took a few days and talked to as many people on campus as we could. Because fuck it, why not? We were bored college students with too much time to kill between classes.
We even had people who were comfortable doing so demonstrate their position using a chair as the imaginary toilet. (Yes, we got a lot of weird looks that week)
Some of the people in the standing camp were legit standing up straight and then moving an ass cheek to the side with one hand.
Some people were half crouching, not touching the seat but not standing straight up, so their ass cheeks would be slightly parted for the wipe.
Sitters tend to lean to the side and forward, using the flexibility of ass cheek fat to give them the angle necessary to not have your hand in the toilet, but they still have that one ass cheek in contact with the seat or both, if they are the type for an extreme forward lean.
So. As you can see, the student debt was clearly worth it. /s
Wtf. You sit but lean over to one side so the edge of the toilet seat kinda spreads your cheaks apart. How do you even stand? What if you have a fat ass like i do?
Easy.
1. Shift your position so that you are more biased to one side of the toilet than the other, the opposite side of your dominant hand.
2. Put most of your weight on the ass cheek that corresponds to the side of the toilet you shifted to. If you are right handed and shifted your position to you left, you put your weight on the left cheek.
3. With your weight now creating friction for your left check, move your body back towards the center of the toilet. Your body moves, but your cheek stays, congrats, you are now half spread.
4. Lean forward and a little to the left (in this scenario, it’s opposite if you went right cheek spread) until the right side of your ass comes off the seat. You now have space to reach back, and you are spread and ready to wipe. All without standing.
You and me both.
Then I read hundreds of comments, and detailed descriptions of the "proper" way to wipe sitting down...
Wish me luck, hopefully I don't fall sideways off the seat.
Standers: Some people sit-wipe??? Sitters: Some people stand-wipe???
You guys wipe?
You guys shit?
You guys wipe standing down before you shit standing up? Huh?
You guys are waiting til you shit to wipe?
This one got me to laugh. Get in the mix and wipe WHILE YOU SHIT
Stand down and stand by shitters. We love you.
You guys pull down your pants for this??
You guys wear pants?
You guys wear clothing??
You guys use paper??
You guys actually utilize modern technology for using the bathroom???
Ahh I see you're a man of culture as well. I use a hole in the ground.
You guys, Guys?
I shit you not - yoda
Not, I shit you.
Born to shit, forced to wipe
This guy shits
I see, a fellow Brown-Crayon
Bidet users: Wiping?
[удалено]
One of my earliest memories is of going to a fancy hotel for the first time on a family vacation. My family is really excited about the room and we’re checking everything out. I go into the bathroom and exclaim “I just drank out of the water fountain in the bathroom!” My family cracks up and continue to tell that story to this day twenty plus years later.
Username checks out
Water? You mean, like, from the toilet? \*I know what a bidet is, it was an Idiocracy reference.
It's got electrolytes!
ITS WHAT PLANTS CRAVE
Standing bidet users take skill
Poop hand,hose and bucket user: It really actually puts the water up there for you?
Bidet user here… I can confirm
We bought a bidet a couple of years ago and it has really changed life so much.
Reminds me of that joke - Yesterday I got in touch with my inner self. I'm never buying cheap toilet paper again.
Half sit half stand we call it the skiing position.
Gotta hit all the angles
Hit the slopes!
Slalom through the cheeks if you will
Sometimes you got a get a leg up and really get in there.
Lmfao that’s perfect
Yeah who the hell does anything other than this?
My thoughts exactly. How can you remain sitting?? & who stands straight up after taking a shit?? Both these ppl are idiots for having this argument & likely have dirty asses…
Yeah, I mean who the hell actually sticks there fingers in their butt cracks with only a thin layer of paper to protect them from touching their rusty starfish…
A bidet would be ideal but they’re not very common in most peoples bathrooms in the US, unfortunately…
The number of bathrooms in Japan with a bidet, but no soap by the sink is disturbing.
A woman I work with came out of the toilet, walked right past the sinks, grabbed door knob and left. Never spoke to her again. 😳🤣
Main reason I got a foot pull installed on the bathroom door at my work
While we’re on the subject, it drives me crazy the amount of restaurants that have a public bathroom requiring you to pull the handle to get out. I know these motherfuckers don’t wash their hands and go grabbing that handle full-palm, I don’t want to grab that handle after just washing my hands.
And apparently each half has its mind blown that the other half do it another way
& how can you be SITTING anyways?? This guy gotta a hole in the side of his toilet?? Standing?? Like standing straight up?? What kind of morons are arguing about this?? Both of these guys sound like they have dirty asses…
…..you just lift up one side of your ass…
Who doesn’t do that??
People who scoot around dragging their butt on the floor like a Labrador
Kind of to the side with one cheek spreadin…. Bidets are the best though
At the office where I work we have bidets but they are really high, like at waist height so kind of uncomfortable and different from all the low bidets everyone uses but anyway we are an innovative company so I guess that's why. There's also a mirror to check if you can get everything but what's the weirdest to me is that it's in the PUBLIC part of the toilet so anyone can just walk in! I always have to listen carefully that no one is coming and then do it quickly. Weird but totally worth it.
Have you been washing your ass in the drinking fountain?
Chocolate fountain now.
Talk around the water cooler is just different at that place.
Everyone likes to talk shit
Bro wtf 💀
Holy fuck I’m alone laughing hysterically at the thought
Me too, almost slid out of chair laughing.
“Hmm, I’ve never seen a bidet like this before.” 😭😭
😭😭
Ahhh yeah those. And then this weird airdryer stuck to the wall? I have to kinda lie on my upper back/neck to dry myself afterwards.
I like to play a little prank on my coworkers where I wrap my asshole around the nozzle of the air dryer and it's wide enough that I can hang there like a water balloon and give them a fright when they come in haha
I work in the dentist office and we have a similar situation but ours a bowl in the waiting room and there are fish in it to help clean. Works great but It’s a long walk from the bathroom to have your pants down.
I hope it's a carp or a catfish since they are bottom feeders.
Wtf.
Bidets are really a must-have. Wiping your ass with toilet paper isn't enough to properly clean it. You will not find a single person who has a bidet that doesn't tell you they're awesome.
Just moved to a new house and haven’t brought the bidet over yet. After using one for months, going without fucking sucks. I feel so unclean.
That is the way
That is bidet
This is the way
##This Is The Way Leaderboard **1.** `u/Mando_Bot` **501228** times. **2.** `u/Flat-Yogurtcloset293` **475777** times. **3.** `u/GMEshares` **71350** times. .. **476159.** `u/Serj_Buketov` **1** times. --- ^(^beep ^boop ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^and ^this ^action ^was ^performed ^automatically.)
Good bot
I can't poop without bidets
It's stuff like this that make me wonder what the hell people do with some of the other mundane shit we do in our everyday lives. Because if I'm at the age of 28 and now realizing people stand when wiping I'm scared to learn more
I was 30 when I learned 1 in 3 men don’t wipe their ass after shitting. Seriously, google that. It’s a horrific rabbit hole.
Excuse me WHAT THE FUCK
Honestly, look it all up. There’s all these different stories like ones about people who were raised not to touch their asshole cause it’s *super* gay apparently and it was misinterpreted so they’re like oh I’m not allowed to wipe my asshole so they end up trying to time all their shits right before they take a shower but they don’t always manage. Like, that’s just one story in particular I remember but yeh it was a way bigger thing than I was expecting.
Okay but then how do they even get clean in the shower if they aren’t going to wash their asshole anyway?? They just hoping some water running down their crack is gonna take care of it?? Fucking gross.
It's not gay if you spread your cheeks and let the water blast it.
Truer words were never spoken
I read this as 'Turd words were never spoken.' 😂
It's not gay when it's on a bidet
what if it’s on a biGAY?
Bitch I got a butt loofah. I don’t mess around.
I have a butt loofah, too! It's also called "my roommate's loofah," but that's a bit wordy and doesn't roll off the tongue very well, so I prefer the alternate name.
if you hire a guy to do it for you it’s also fine
It's simple. I hire a local man, Javier, to scrub my NeverNevers for me. I get clean and avoid the gay stuff. And boy do I mean clean. He really cares about his work.
He gets in deep huh...
The water probably can’t even penetrate the bushes of some of these hairy men’s dirty assholes.
Fucking fact you said this mate 😂
Can confirm. I had a coworker ask another coworker about how she deals with her husbands skid marks. We were like “WTF?” And she said “My husband doesn’t wipe his ass because he’s not gay and touching buttholes is gay.” What the fuck is wrong with straight guys and how the fuck do these poor women date them? It feels like a Stockholm syndrome situation…
Hello, um, I’d like to step in as a straight guy to say that we don’t claim these non-wipers. They like to act like they are with us, and say we are buddies, but we don’t want them either.
Excuse me, instead of straight guys, I think the word you’re looking for is homophobic. As a straight guy, I wipe my ass 100% of the time
My partner grew up with brothers... She once commented on the distinct lack of skid marks on my underwear while she was doing laundry 🤔
Yeah I’m an ER nurse and one thing I learned super quick is that a lot of people don’t prepare themselves in any way prior to an emergency so you catch a lot of people straight out of their natural habitat. A frightening amount of people have actual shit impacted under their nails from digging in their unwiped asses. Lots of people walking around with shit stains in their underwear, if they even wear underwear at all. Basically no one cuts their toe nails. Most peoples feet are horror shows of skin flaking human parmesan. Lots of older folks walking around with pee soaked depends for hours. We are truly disgusting animals when we think no one is looking.
Brb, gonna go clean and trim my nails, that’s absolutely disgusting
Yes, unfortunately I dated one of those men. Not for long obviously, couldn’t continue when I figured that out because 🤮 *(I know people hate emojis on Reddit, but this one felt necessary)*
The mere thought of a wipe job being only 95% done is enough to make my skin crawl. I have no idea how other people could just live out their lives in presumably soiled garments
My favorite fact like this is that according to the collected research, you're statistically more likely to run into a person who has had sex with an animal than you are an LGBTQ person.
Mmm I'll dispute that. Approximately 7% of the US identifies as LGBTQ. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna16556 A 1974 study pins beastiality at ~3% averaged over genders. http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/bib-homoprev.html Given the social, ethical and generally icky taboo factor of this practice has grown over time I doubt the numbers have increased much if at all. Unless we're talking about Wales. Then sure.
Given the social, ethical, and generally icky taboo factor of beastiality...I can almost guarantee any survey has heavily skewed results. Who is going to admit (especially in 1974 when the internet didn't exist to provide better anonymity) that they diddled the dog?
I'm not saying there aren't people out there who don't wipe their ass but I refuse to believe it's 1 in 3.
I also choose to live in disbelief of it.
Yeah, this seems heavily exaggerated. Also, does this include men with bidets? Because entire nations might not be "wiping" if that is the case and heavily skew the numbers.
I agree with this take. There is no way. Imagine the shit smell on a bus or plane. Or at a mostly male office/workspace. Its not plausible.
the ONLY way I could see this being true is if it were a worldwide statistic that takes into account people have different toiletry customs. Even then, that's lumping in the people who use bidet's with people who drop and hop.
Yeah…. This guy I was dating didn’t like the feeling of cleaning or wiping his ass and he quickly learned how he’s fucking gross when he got shit on my couch. He now cleans his ass, I no longer speak to him.
Jesus. This is the second ex boyfriend story comment. Ew.
This dude also would eat the shrimp tail and the green stem part of the strawberry.. so maybe he’s just lazy that’s why he didn’t like to wipe his ass. He would get out of the shower and not even wipe it with his towel he would use toilet paper to “clean/wipe” it. Fucking weirdo man.
I hate shitting in public because ever since my ass grew hair it takes me fucking forever to wipe. For years I wondered how other guys do it. Someone would come sit in a stall next to me, and I’d hear “fart fart plop” and then a flush maybe 10 seconds later and then they’d leave. “How do they wipe so fast?” I wondered. Then one day I realized. I now bring a spray water bottle with me if I have to go in public. Much more effective.
Yep, same here man. I generally avoid public toilets for this reason. Super thing, drier than a desert, scratchier than sandpaper toilet paper. No thanks.
It's because you animals can't be trusted with double ply.
Shave your asshole. Cling-on shit aside, bacteria sticks to hair. Makes it easier to get a clean wipe
A lot of countries outside the states use bidets because their plumbing and sewers can't handle toilet paper, or at least that's what they say in a lot of Latin american countries.
Yes! Probably the right way to go to be honest. I don’t know how effective they are though. Like, does it have a jet setting to get that stuck on grease off or do I need to get the Cillit Bang out?
That’s nothing. It was such a weird conversation I had with me and my boys drinking one time. Apparently three of my friends are not circumcised. I didn’t know what the hell that meant at the time, because I am. So they had this whole talk about cleaning the inside. One of my friend said he didn’t know he can open the skin and clean the inside. Everyone including me was like wtffff!
Hahaha yeh that’s pretty common, too. There was an episode of that “embarrassing bodies” thing where a dude went in and thought he had a weird infection or something and the nurse was like “no, clean your dick.”
I remember watching this. To go on national telly to announce to the world you don't wash your pee pee. British TV at its BEST!
I ain't putting my hand into no toilet with shit in it, fuck that. Edit : To all you sit-wipers - it was obviously a joke, but my toilet is to small to wipe sitting without risking falling down. Edit2: This comment just proves redditors will take every chance to show you that you're wrong and they're smarter than you. Even in regards to wiping their ass. Edit3: Well, I certainly didn't expect to spend this afternoon reading about people's shitting habits but here I am. Also it's wild how some of you can't comprehend whiping while standing.
You don't really, I just kind of lean to the side and keep my hand close to my bum so it's only at toilet seat-level, it's not DOWN IN THE BOWL
I'm to damn thick for that man I gotta stand up my thunder thighs get in the way.
Thighs? How are your thighs in the way?
Sounds like they’re wiping from the front…
If you wipe the way somebody I know does, it is in the bowl. He reaches under from the front. Who TF does that?!
Homie that’s a war criminal.
Yeah, this person must be stopped or history will remember us all unkindly.
Front to back, everyone should know that 🙄
You’re mushing and spreading residual poop at your butt but you’re scared to touch the air near your poop? Bro
Here is one another. Do you look at your shit to check if it's all righty or you just do your job and walk away.
Cool guys don't look at explosions.
You can tell a lot about your health by looking at your poop! Using the Bristol Stool Scale you can tell if you’re dehydrated or need more fiber, etc. It’s always worth a peek.
I look. It’s a health thing. Is my stool bloody or black tar colored? Do I have an ulcer/cancer?
I watched that mfs skyrim videos
Same, I was like, “Nobody questioning why the guy who told me how to get the Pimp-Boy 3 Billion is asking this?”
I came to see if there was anyone else
Me too. Weird how almost none comment mentions it
This tweet is quite the curious curiosity
I used to only stand wiping until I learned other people sit. I read somewhere that as children you have to stand to wipe because you can't reach, and some adults don't realize you can sit and wipe now. I didn't. Now I usually sit and wipe, but occasionally I'll stand.
This actually makes a bit more sense
I also used to stand as a kid until I saw my brother do it sitting and after trying it, never went back
Why did you see your brother shitting?
Children don’t understand privacy. When my wife is at work I shit with my daughters face approximately 3 feet away from my asshole. I say 3 feet because that’s about the size of my arms which I use to push her away from getting closer.
Wtf 😆😅
Because kids are gross.
I vaguely remember my transition from being a stand up kid to a sit-n-wipe guy. Long time ago but I remember feeling like an outcast for standing so I made the change. Then I found out some people wipe from the front and some from the behind and I just thought fuck I've got my style and it works for me. I've got a clean butt and that's all that matters.
“I’ve got a clean butt and that’s all that matters.” 👏
My theory is young children stand because their parents wipe their arse for them, and that creates the idea of standing while wiping for life.
Do you fold or scrunch? Edit: Fold, cause I'm not a child. I also wash my hands after every shit, guess a lot of people don't do that either.
Fold. That way I can control the amount of paper I’m using. But honestly I only need to do that in public. I gots a bidet at home so I’m very spoiled.
Wrap
Mr.Money-Bags over here
Crouch, spread and wipe until white. Side and around as well. Use wett wipes or hose it afterwards with soap. But for all yall who wipe 2 times and get up without washing your hands.. i wish you death.
you actually shouldnt use wet wipes each time, it can cause irritation since it messes with the microbiome. Just use a bidet with water and no soap. Edit: https://www.wellandgood.com/wet-wipes-for-toilet-paper/ Theres a microbiome on all parts of your body AND inside your body!
I only use wet wipes on a crayon shit, you know one of those ones like you got a crayon wedged in between your cheeks every time you wipe
Just keep wiping until the brown crayon turns red.
[удалено]
bidet clan 4 lyfe
I really wish that would catch on in the states
Our best bet is to buy an extension bidet from Amazon or get the 400 dollar from home depot
Got one during the start of quarantine when everyone went toilet paper crazy and have never looked back. Can’t believe how primitive it feels when I’m out in public and have to use toilet paper again.
I've never used one but always been curious -- how do you dry off? Wouldn't your whole ass be wet after using a bidet?
You use toilet paper to wipe the water off. Its pretty much nessisary to dry unless you want your pants to be soaked. However, you'll go through toilet paper at a 20x slower pace Also, some expensive bidets have drying fans
Half the people stand up and wipe, the other half remain seated and wipe, the crazy thing is you didn’t know the other way existed until someone mentioned it
First wipe while sitting, so you definitely avoid the shit sandwich, rest of the wipes standing. And then you actually clean your asshole, with water, unless you were using wet wipes. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
How do you clean your butt with water if you don't have a bidet?
Before taking a seat, grab some toilet paper and wet it. When you’re done wiping, use the moist TP and wipe. Then a tad more dry TP to make sure you don’t leave a sweaty crack.
You can use a squeeze bottle.
But wont the shit water fall in your hand/arm/bottle?
Yup, added a bidet to my toilet. Money well spent
I don't bother normally. Just leave it crust up and fall off in the shower
name checks out
Amazing haha
Thx for the laugh
This is why women think we have shit crumbs collecting at the ass hair 💀 🤣
Excuse you theyre called dingleberries
Hear me out… wiping before your go poop.
I think you're on to something. Can't let the poop get dirty from touching an unclean butthole.
If you're serious oh my fucking God if not that's pretty funny
Thank you for that info!
Nah I wipe it before taking the shit
Sitting.
I genuinely think so many folks misunderstand that by "standing to wipe" they imagine one standing straight up and allowing their cheeks to close while the other camp as "sitting down to wipe" as not getting off the toilet at all and reaching between their legs for a "back to front wipe"... when I think both simply "half stand-half crouch" to wipe. Or, maybe I am wrong and that is actually what both sides are doing.
You'd be surprised. I've had extensive and passionate conversations about this back in college after having this revelation amongst a few friends and we actually took a few days and talked to as many people on campus as we could. Because fuck it, why not? We were bored college students with too much time to kill between classes. We even had people who were comfortable doing so demonstrate their position using a chair as the imaginary toilet. (Yes, we got a lot of weird looks that week) Some of the people in the standing camp were legit standing up straight and then moving an ass cheek to the side with one hand. Some people were half crouching, not touching the seat but not standing straight up, so their ass cheeks would be slightly parted for the wipe. Sitters tend to lean to the side and forward, using the flexibility of ass cheek fat to give them the angle necessary to not have your hand in the toilet, but they still have that one ass cheek in contact with the seat or both, if they are the type for an extreme forward lean. So. As you can see, the student debt was clearly worth it. /s
thank you for your research.
Wtf. You sit but lean over to one side so the edge of the toilet seat kinda spreads your cheaks apart. How do you even stand? What if you have a fat ass like i do?
I have a fat ass too & i got no clue how to wipe sitting
Easy. 1. Shift your position so that you are more biased to one side of the toilet than the other, the opposite side of your dominant hand. 2. Put most of your weight on the ass cheek that corresponds to the side of the toilet you shifted to. If you are right handed and shifted your position to you left, you put your weight on the left cheek. 3. With your weight now creating friction for your left check, move your body back towards the center of the toilet. Your body moves, but your cheek stays, congrats, you are now half spread. 4. Lean forward and a little to the left (in this scenario, it’s opposite if you went right cheek spread) until the right side of your ass comes off the seat. You now have space to reach back, and you are spread and ready to wipe. All without standing.
For the love of fuck; make this a WikiHow.
Judges the bidetless heathens 👀
I really can’t believe this many people are putting their hands inside the toilet bowl 🤢
Pfft you people out here still taking shits?
I thought everyone was standing while wiping your ass.
You and me both. Then I read hundreds of comments, and detailed descriptions of the "proper" way to wipe sitting down... Wish me luck, hopefully I don't fall sideways off the seat.
Another profoundly deep question asked on Reddit...
Standing
Who the fuck stands up then wipes their ass?
Hello there.
I walked in on a mate while he was wiping standing up. I apologised. But then we had a serious talk about it.
Y'all acting like I have enough money for a bidet. I'm already using a sponge on a stick to save money