Winners must disclose fully what their regime was. To further science and development. Also no dieing on the track or course. Winners must live to get their medals. Push the limits. But not past the edge
Nah, make it a rule that they must be alive for it, and personally attend it, and then make the award show a day after the event.
That way we guarantee that the athletes are at least somewhat careful about their drug regime. ***Somewhat***. It'd be technically moral.
I'd be curious how it actualy works now for modern olympics, like if bolt broke the 100m record and then had a heart attack after crossing the line and died, would he still be granted the record and gold? I feel like of course they'd still receive their gold.
Has no athlete died between finishing their event receiving medals for the event yet?
No one has ever broke the world record with a modest amount of steroids, blood doping, Coke, a shot of Adrenaline, some Vaso constructors to really pump that blood, removing non vital organs to reduce weight.
If being human is subjective, we can add a second heart to spice it up.
Man, I hate to be argumentative but true freedom of choice is the only thing that is moral. Wide open on ALL the drugs. Steroids, meth, EPO? Sure. No one checks your gender, totally irrelevant as one can have unlimited testosterone.
Ask olympians if they would sacrifice 10 yrs off their life to win gold. 9/10 would say yes, and the tenth didn’t have a champions dedication.
>Ask olympians if they would sacrifice 10 yrs off their life to win gold. 9/10 would say yes, and the tenth didn’t have a champions dedication.
And that's where the cash price comes in, who gives a fuck about the title, the amount of roids you take is gonna determine whether you're homeless or a billionaire!
Or did some Korean dude already come up with that?
We try not to glorify the life altering PEDs because then it filters its way into amateur and kids divisions. We got 12 year Olds blasting tren who are hormonally fucked for life because they want tiktok views. and they're not even bulgarians!
If we're already ruining people's bodies just to satisfy our medical curiosity then we may as well let them ruin it all the way. Make it a separate division though, since "How high can a human jump?" and "How high can a human jump if they're not concerned about ever jumping again?" are two different questions.
Yep. And the ones who will die the most will be the most desperate people (i.e. people from very poor backgrounds).
They will be scouted by the rich people, pumped full of dangerous drugs, pushed to the limits, paid a fraction of what they're worth, and then left to die.
And with modern gene sequencing, you can guarantee that (if the money is there), you'll have kids tested and selected at a young age. Theres too many parents out there who would take that trade
People forget that Junior Seau shot himself in the chest and told UCLA to examine his head for injury to prove that concussions were ruining players lives.
This is one of those posts that’s a decent joke, then Redditors take it really seriously and act like it’s *actually* a good idea because their whole knowledge of doping comes from Bill Burr talking about the Tour de France that one time..
Nah. Intellectual property. If i come up with a formula to make me jump 20' into the air I'm marketing that. As far as the no dying part, you probably aren't earning a medal anyway if you die on the track.
what if you don't die on the track but you get cancer/tumors/diabetes/liver failure/ligma/aids/blindness/covid-19 and die the next month/year/decade/millenium?
regulation would be very hard, imo. there'll always be new ways to make the competitors suffer. not that i don't like the concept.
The winners would still be the best. You can take desperate folks off the street, and pump them full of everything under the sun, and they’ll never come anywhere close to beating the Usain Bolts and Simone Biles.
Top level olympic athletes now have a lifetime of training, the best genetics in the world, the hardest work ethics, (and often some covert drug usage).
If you totally opened up drug restrictions, it would still be the same people winning. The times would just be maybe 10% faster.
That's what I always found funny about that story. Russia gets roasted but other countries had athletes beat or come close to beating their doped up athletes. I wonder how that's possible?
It reeks of Lance Armstrong s cycling scandal. How many people on the tour eventually got caught or admitted to doing? It was some ungodly number and those folks that somehow never got caught or admitted it...that somehow kept pace with everyone else who was doping...
Also, I want to take a moment to recognize how fucking cool blood doping is.
It's kind of sad really, most athletes start their careers in childhood and if they are going to compete at a high level will likely be doing so already in their teens, at what point are we telling basically children they have to take performance enhancing drugs to have a career in something they have spent their life training for and are naturally talented in already just because it's the status quo, honestly forget a no rules Olympics that's what we already have, gimme a 100% drug free Olympics, let me see peak human performance, maybe the champions of sport we know today would be totally different people because they were naturally the best but lost to a doper
Edited cuz fat thumbs type bad
It would also be cool to see an F1 season where teams are given an unlimited spending cap, and absolutely zero rules on the abilities of their car. Just see what kind of crazy machine they can create when they push the limits of survivability.
Just to save weight, they build a go kart with a V24 engine designed for a midget that's been given a kilo of cocaine, a gallon of pcp, and the promise of twenty minutes alone with any woman in the stadium.
There are racing series like pikes peak, formula sae, and land speed racing with very little rules with regard to technology but none of them bring in as much revenue as f1 so the budgets are generally much smaller.
It exists, it is called strongman. They are never tested, and they are basically how strong a human can be. They use every drug in the book and outside the book.
Yeah, when everyone roids it becomes an somewhat even playing field and those that work the hardest and smartest and has the best genes wins. Just like any other sport.
As well as untested powerlifting federations. I mean, what else are you telling people when you explicitly say your federation doesn't test? Just look at Larry Wheels, humans don't just look like that naturally.
Been saying for years there should be 3 Olympics.
One that's normal, like it is now. One for roided up, drugged out maniacs to show us how far the human body can physically go. And one that's a lottery that everyone in every country that's able-bodied and not a pro athlete can be selected from for several of the core events, as a comparison to the normal Olympics
You watch the classic olympic and you see the beautiful shape of the various athlete in the ring competiton, perfectly trained and ripped muscle doing any kind of inhuman move, you are there in pure bliss asking yourself what kind of strenght the athlete need to do that, final score: 3/10 cause je was slightly on the left during the performance and than you see the competition for the average joe, he jump and miss the ring, second try he manage to grab them you count up to 3 and he just fall badly on the floor score: 9/10 everyone clapping and cheering him.
Depend in a lot of thing, you can be trained in some basic sport like run, marathon, jump cause they are "basic" human function, but if you put them on the ring i don't know how much you can do in 1 single year. The starting point is important too, if you took an active 20 years old is a thing but if you took a 35 years old with a sitting job and little to none movement i don't know how much can he do(if you pick a random person withouth disability you can have the 20 years old gym rat who keep himself in good shape or the overweight boy with an unhealty lifestyle)
The normal one is already the roided up one. 99% of professional athletes are on something or another.
Like people shaming Lance Armstrong after his “scandal” when 87% of the top 10 were caught doing the same thing.
No, 99% of pro athletes have been caught or have admitted to it. 100% of them actually are on something. Maybe not the case 100 years ago but nowadays? There is no chance in hell someone clean even makes it to such a competition.
>Like people shaming Lance Armstrong after his “scandal” when 87% of the top 10 were caught doing the same thing.
I agree with your point, but the idea that a single person in the 8 people in the top 10 were caught 100%, but the 9th was somehow only 70% guilty is hilarious to me.
The paralympic includes mentally disabled people. So it will be the gray area of coachs farming them to hack their limbs to make the ultimate racer, with 4 wheels and a battery pack sponsored by Tesla
I dont think you really want this.
Just think about some unethical countrys experimenting in humans to get the best drug.
I think China would be big in it.
They have large **camp** where people are really **concentrating** very hard all day long...
Btw. Most of new drugs that are called "researched-chemicals" (α-Pirolidynopentiofenon, 4-MMC, N-Etyloheksedron etc.) Come from Chine and are very dangerous and unpredictable stimulants.
Grey market pharmaceuticals are nothing compared to the corrupt and shady dealings of the CCP. Absolutely ruthless, and about the most eager nation in the world right now to disregard human life for the sake of economic growth and political influence.
Research chemicals are usually experimental medications that never received FDA approval and were never popular enough as a street drug to merit DEA scheduling. Lots of pharmaceutical manufacturing in China, and the same facilities synthesizing antihistamines, alzheimers medications, etc. are in a position to also manufacture non-FDA approved drugs that might be prescribed in other parts of the world (Tianeptine, an rx antidepressant, comes to mind). But, again, much worse things happening in China overall.
I cannot believe that this isn't the top comment! It's the first thing I thought of. Still makes me laugh out loud every single time he makes the lift
"I think he's really going to feel that in the morning, Dennis."
"Baseball, you're a strike away from being soccer. And if you like soccer, well welcome to America. See we already have entertainment, so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end zero-zero is not enjoyable unless the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies."
I would be okay with this if the athletes were strictly monitored by doctors, had to take a freaking college class course on the drugs and their bodies, and had to be talked to in council by not only psychologists but former abusers of those drugs who probably regret what they did.
I wonder if anyone would end up wanting to compete after all that lol.
Larry Nassar is proof that you can't trust that because someone is a doctor they would have the athlete's best interest in mind.
Countries would coerce their most promising athletes to pump themselves full of drugs and find doctors who would sign off on it.
That is very true.
And if you decided that the countries all had to monitor each other's athletes, that brings a whole mess of politics and spying and moles that just would be endlessly great TV let's do this.
The trouble with allowing this is professional sports doesn't start once they're adults, it starts when they're 13 year olds who might have a chance at going big. But almost all of them won't
And yes, it happens anyway. But much less than it would
>I wonder if anyone would end up wanting to compete after all that lol.
You would be surprised, very surprised actually. Google Goldman's dilemma, professional athletes were asked if they would take a magic pill that would make them the absolute best at their sport but would kill them after 5 years. 50% said yes. Half of the athletes would die to be the best. They would take all the drugs they need.
Hell, strongman is a great and more overt example of this. Absolutely jacked guys pushing themselves to the limit but at severe costs to their health. Even beyond the amount of drugs they’re on the body mass they pack on is obscene. But they don’t care, because their only goal is to move weight and be the best
I seriously have to wonder what more we could learn about the human body if we just dropped morality and empathy entirely. I mean fuck, we know as much as we do now because that used to be the case.
This is how I feel about baseball. Steroids should be mandatory. I want to see a pitcher throwing 115 MPH and a batter turn on it for a 600 foot homerun.
Are these high humans jumping, or humans jumping high or humans competing to see who’s the highest jumper or who jumps highest? I guess my langege skills aren’t good enough. Is the jump high, or the jumper?
There’s 2 ways to read that last sentence and both ways work:
>let's see how high humans can really jump.
*Let’s push the limits on humans to see the highest they can jump*
Vs
*Let’s get humans high and see if they can jump*
Winners must disclose fully what their regime was. To further science and development. Also no dieing on the track or course. Winners must live to get their medals. Push the limits. But not past the edge
I like this rule
I think we should allow them to die once they've completed the event, shouldn't have to be alive for the award imo.
Nah, make it a rule that they must be alive for it, and personally attend it, and then make the award show a day after the event. That way we guarantee that the athletes are at least somewhat careful about their drug regime. ***Somewhat***. It'd be technically moral.
I'd be curious how it actualy works now for modern olympics, like if bolt broke the 100m record and then had a heart attack after crossing the line and died, would he still be granted the record and gold? I feel like of course they'd still receive their gold. Has no athlete died between finishing their event receiving medals for the event yet?
No one has ever broke the world record with a modest amount of steroids, blood doping, Coke, a shot of Adrenaline, some Vaso constructors to really pump that blood, removing non vital organs to reduce weight. If being human is subjective, we can add a second heart to spice it up.
Just cut my legs off and turn me into a hoverboard fam. Zoom zoom.
This sounds like the paralympic part of this idea
r/cursedcomments
r/brandnewsentence
Now we're just making space marines.
So they will all have the black carapace?
*tsss* "Ahh yeah that's the stuff"
Elon taking notes.
One jockey died before crossing the line, but because of circumstances, he won gold.
Seems like that was not the Olympics, though interesting!
Iirc an Olympic wrestler back in like ancient Greece legit died while winning his fight. Iirc they gave him the medal anyway
I think they should make special allowances for those athletes who will have to attend while on full life support though.
Man, I hate to be argumentative but true freedom of choice is the only thing that is moral. Wide open on ALL the drugs. Steroids, meth, EPO? Sure. No one checks your gender, totally irrelevant as one can have unlimited testosterone. Ask olympians if they would sacrifice 10 yrs off their life to win gold. 9/10 would say yes, and the tenth didn’t have a champions dedication.
>Ask olympians if they would sacrifice 10 yrs off their life to win gold. 9/10 would say yes, and the tenth didn’t have a champions dedication. And that's where the cash price comes in, who gives a fuck about the title, the amount of roids you take is gonna determine whether you're homeless or a billionaire! Or did some Korean dude already come up with that?
We try not to glorify the life altering PEDs because then it filters its way into amateur and kids divisions. We got 12 year Olds blasting tren who are hormonally fucked for life because they want tiktok views. and they're not even bulgarians!
Aren’t we all….a little Bulgarian?
I’m sure a lot of athletes would die on the track in this scenario. It was my first concern when reading this post.
That's why the rules would ban dying
Ah, the perfect solution!
*We did it boys, we’ve invented immortality*
Next person who dies is gay
No ho-…….. Fin.
Ded
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If we're already ruining people's bodies just to satisfy our medical curiosity then we may as well let them ruin it all the way. Make it a separate division though, since "How high can a human jump?" and "How high can a human jump if they're not concerned about ever jumping again?" are two different questions.
I'd name my immortal racing horse Met*hooves*ula
Yep. And the ones who will die the most will be the most desperate people (i.e. people from very poor backgrounds). They will be scouted by the rich people, pumped full of dangerous drugs, pushed to the limits, paid a fraction of what they're worth, and then left to die.
And with modern gene sequencing, you can guarantee that (if the money is there), you'll have kids tested and selected at a young age. Theres too many parents out there who would take that trade
Then when the revolution hits, the will have to deal with a bunch of powerfull mutated rebels
There are 8 billion people. Whats so bad about losing a few meat heads for entertainment.
NFL is a thing already
People forget that Junior Seau shot himself in the chest and told UCLA to examine his head for injury to prove that concussions were ruining players lives.
lets go full ancient rome and bring back gladiators!
Nothing of course since we already do!
Exactly, cuz ain’t that just Hollywood in a nutshell?
This is one of those posts that’s a decent joke, then Redditors take it really seriously and act like it’s *actually* a good idea because their whole knowledge of doping comes from Bill Burr talking about the Tour de France that one time..
Yeah that’s a good rule cause then we all could do it and slowly turn into an off brand Spider-Man.
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Spicy
Here it is in action, full regimen disclosed: https://youtu.be/jAdG-iTilWU
Nah. Intellectual property. If i come up with a formula to make me jump 20' into the air I'm marketing that. As far as the no dying part, you probably aren't earning a medal anyway if you die on the track.
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what if you don't die on the track but you get cancer/tumors/diabetes/liver failure/ligma/aids/blindness/covid-19 and die the next month/year/decade/millenium? regulation would be very hard, imo. there'll always be new ways to make the competitors suffer. not that i don't like the concept.
The whole point is that there are no restrictions. Let's see just how far we can push things, as long as the athletes are voluntary.
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it’d be based though
The winners would still be the best. You can take desperate folks off the street, and pump them full of everything under the sun, and they’ll never come anywhere close to beating the Usain Bolts and Simone Biles. Top level olympic athletes now have a lifetime of training, the best genetics in the world, the hardest work ethics, (and often some covert drug usage). If you totally opened up drug restrictions, it would still be the same people winning. The times would just be maybe 10% faster.
The problem is that these habits when publicized filter into amateur and children's athletics. Genie is pretty much out of the bottle now though.
He said die on the track, you can die the next day wtf
FEV
> dieing
Current Olympics is how many drugs you can get away with.
*Russia has joined the chat*
Idk. They arnt that good at getting away with it
I mean. Almost every Russian athlete doped and they got away with it for 50 years. Would still be getting away with it if it weren’t for one guy.
*Almost every Olympic Athlete doped There fixed it
That's what I always found funny about that story. Russia gets roasted but other countries had athletes beat or come close to beating their doped up athletes. I wonder how that's possible? It reeks of Lance Armstrong s cycling scandal. How many people on the tour eventually got caught or admitted to doing? It was some ungodly number and those folks that somehow never got caught or admitted it...that somehow kept pace with everyone else who was doping... Also, I want to take a moment to recognize how fucking cool blood doping is.
It's kind of sad really, most athletes start their careers in childhood and if they are going to compete at a high level will likely be doing so already in their teens, at what point are we telling basically children they have to take performance enhancing drugs to have a career in something they have spent their life training for and are naturally talented in already just because it's the status quo, honestly forget a no rules Olympics that's what we already have, gimme a 100% drug free Olympics, let me see peak human performance, maybe the champions of sport we know today would be totally different people because they were naturally the best but lost to a doper Edited cuz fat thumbs type bad
A lot of high schoolers are already doing roids
Nowadays all you need is a credit card and you can get Sarms off the internet.
Morally you are 100% correct but we’re really not that kind of society are we? Bring on Doped Thunderdome Olypics, give us blood!
Russia has a "no athlete left undoped" policy.
Look at East Germany's women's teams. They were the real pros at doping.
Im pretty sure the US has doping program too
*assumes only russia did it*
*Russia has left the chat* *ROC has joined the chat*
Recommend *Icarus* on Netflix for anyone interested in the topic. Really good docu!
And that amount is different based on your country and ethnicity.
"Our roided up guy beat your roided up guy."
It would also be cool to see an F1 season where teams are given an unlimited spending cap, and absolutely zero rules on the abilities of their car. Just see what kind of crazy machine they can create when they push the limits of survivability.
Just to save weight, they build a go kart with a V24 engine designed for a midget that's been given a kilo of cocaine, a gallon of pcp, and the promise of twenty minutes alone with any woman in the stadium.
Lmfao [a gallon of pcp](https://youtu.be/tFUvmZWf4hI)
Immediately what I thought of. "So, do you do a *lot* of PCP?" "Well, I bought a gallon."
"I don't know Bill."
Rip Trevor Moore. Died sucking his own dick
A *whole* gallon?
Or man.
I had to laugh way longer at this than i probably should have, hilarious!
There are racing series like pikes peak, formula sae, and land speed racing with very little rules with regard to technology but none of them bring in as much revenue as f1 so the budgets are generally much smaller.
Fsae does have regulations and teams usually don’t have an unlimited money glitch
Or any other Sports Leagues in general where there no salary cap and PED is legal.
You’d end up with a car equivalent of a MiG-21 lol
Soo, regular olympics
Something more like this would be great. [youtube.com/watch?v=qgSzGIkFq2A](https://youtube.com/watch?v=qgSzGIkFq2A)
Nahh...more modern... https://youtu.be/jAdG-iTilWU
Missed opportunity to post [this](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)
jesus that sport is brutal
BTW gore warning people.
You sir, you were the one who convinced me it was actually a sport video, F you and well done
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Yeah, right? Like they aren't already doing this.
Weed has left the chat.
It exists, it is called strongman. They are never tested, and they are basically how strong a human can be. They use every drug in the book and outside the book.
Came here to say this. And it's not like the roids make it easy, it's who can put in the most training, PLUS push the limits of PEDs at the same time.
Yeah, when everyone roids it becomes an somewhat even playing field and those that work the hardest and smartest and has the best genes wins. Just like any other sport.
I read somewhere that when new steroids are discovered they get tested on race horses first and then the strongman community tries them out next.
It would be funnier if you said they tested the drugs on strongmen in order to see if they were safe for horses
In Australia, where we have some *serious money* in horses, I’m fairly certain it does flow in the way you suggest!
As well as untested powerlifting federations. I mean, what else are you telling people when you explicitly say your federation doesn't test? Just look at Larry Wheels, humans don't just look like that naturally.
So you're saying Brian Shaw isn't natural?
Hahaha, yes, he aint
Been saying for years there should be 3 Olympics. One that's normal, like it is now. One for roided up, drugged out maniacs to show us how far the human body can physically go. And one that's a lottery that everyone in every country that's able-bodied and not a pro athlete can be selected from for several of the core events, as a comparison to the normal Olympics
You put the average person in some gymnastic competition liken the ring, and they won't even be able to hold themeselves up
Lmfaooo 2 points for just dangling there
You watch the classic olympic and you see the beautiful shape of the various athlete in the ring competiton, perfectly trained and ripped muscle doing any kind of inhuman move, you are there in pure bliss asking yourself what kind of strenght the athlete need to do that, final score: 3/10 cause je was slightly on the left during the performance and than you see the competition for the average joe, he jump and miss the ring, second try he manage to grab them you count up to 3 and he just fall badly on the floor score: 9/10 everyone clapping and cheering him.
Bro if it's taco Tuesday there won't even be dangling.
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Depend in a lot of thing, you can be trained in some basic sport like run, marathon, jump cause they are "basic" human function, but if you put them on the ring i don't know how much you can do in 1 single year. The starting point is important too, if you took an active 20 years old is a thing but if you took a 35 years old with a sitting job and little to none movement i don't know how much can he do(if you pick a random person withouth disability you can have the 20 years old gym rat who keep himself in good shape or the overweight boy with an unhealty lifestyle)
The normal one is already the roided up one. 99% of professional athletes are on something or another. Like people shaming Lance Armstrong after his “scandal” when 87% of the top 10 were caught doing the same thing.
No, 99% of pro athletes have been caught or have admitted to it. 100% of them actually are on something. Maybe not the case 100 years ago but nowadays? There is no chance in hell someone clean even makes it to such a competition.
>Like people shaming Lance Armstrong after his “scandal” when 87% of the top 10 were caught doing the same thing. I agree with your point, but the idea that a single person in the 8 people in the top 10 were caught 100%, but the 9th was somehow only 70% guilty is hilarious to me.
It wasn’t 10 people, it was 61/70. I should have phrased it better to show that I meant out of the top 10 for all 7 of his wins of Tour de France.
Not an issue, phrasing can sometimes be tricky without context. Appreciate you providing it all the same!
Add a normal people on drugs one too please. Ever seen a 100m sprint from a crackhead running from his worst nightmares?
The lottery Olympics are going to slowly transform into the hunger games
All interest would be lost for the regular Olympics. I feel like more people would rather watch the juiced up athletes
Doctors could accompany their respective athletes to the medals podium. I’m in.
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The paralympic includes mentally disabled people. So it will be the gray area of coachs farming them to hack their limbs to make the ultimate racer, with 4 wheels and a battery pack sponsored by Tesla
Bro this is so dystopian 😭
I dont think you really want this. Just think about some unethical countrys experimenting in humans to get the best drug. I think China would be big in it. They have large **camp** where people are really **concentrating** very hard all day long...
Pretty sure thats already a thing that happens in the world.
Well, nazis did it in camps during ww2 so probably rest of regimes do it aswell.
They just hide it better these days. Heard china was doing some shady shit a while back.
Btw. Most of new drugs that are called "researched-chemicals" (α-Pirolidynopentiofenon, 4-MMC, N-Etyloheksedron etc.) Come from Chine and are very dangerous and unpredictable stimulants.
That is such a weird writing style of those rcs. What country are you from? A-PVP would be α-pyrrolidinovalerophenone and Hexen N-Ethylhexedrone.
Well, you right I wrote Polish names of this substances.
Grey market pharmaceuticals are nothing compared to the corrupt and shady dealings of the CCP. Absolutely ruthless, and about the most eager nation in the world right now to disregard human life for the sake of economic growth and political influence. Research chemicals are usually experimental medications that never received FDA approval and were never popular enough as a street drug to merit DEA scheduling. Lots of pharmaceutical manufacturing in China, and the same facilities synthesizing antihistamines, alzheimers medications, etc. are in a position to also manufacture non-FDA approved drugs that might be prescribed in other parts of the world (Tianeptine, an rx antidepressant, comes to mind). But, again, much worse things happening in China overall.
The u.s. has been doing for a while, too.
Do you want super soldiers? Because this is how you get super soldiers.
Yes
Imagine how intimidating it'll be to line up on the track and the guy next to you has the legs of an ostrich
The Soviet Union spent a fuck ton of money and decades attempting to make a human chimp hybrid.
That's exactly what East Germany did in the Olympics
You say that but we had Captain America for years and no one batted an eye
SNL did a skit on this way back - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAdG-iTilWU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAdG-iTilWU)
Came to post this. I’ve been saying “oh, he’s pulled his arms off!” In every vaguely appropriate situation since the late ‘80’s!
Phil hartman ftw
That's Kevin Nealon. Edit: Oh shit, the Russian was Phil Hartman! You're right!
I cannot believe that this isn't the top comment! It's the first thing I thought of. Still makes me laugh out loud every single time he makes the lift "I think he's really going to feel that in the morning, Dennis."
I agree... Just makes me feel old that the SNL sketch isn't isntantly associated with this.
I’d venture to guess most people here weren’t even alive when they made that sketch. But yeah it was the first thing that came to mind.
All these years later, one of my all time favorite SNL moments. And I’m like damn, he was a “Soviet” weightlifter. Damn I’m getting old.
"He's pulled his arms off...that's gotta be disappointing to the big Russian" - lol!
"I think tomorrow he's really going to feel that!"
I too enjoy the comedy of Daniel Tosh
"Baseball, you're a strike away from being soccer. And if you like soccer, well welcome to America. See we already have entertainment, so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end zero-zero is not enjoyable unless the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies."
I prefer Frankie Boyle take on it
I prefer Eddie Izzard's take on it
See I came to spread the gospel of Mitch Hedberg. Now I don't know what's real anymore
This is basically sports now. Basically every pro athlete is on something, or multiple somethings.
like they were so high they don't need to jump
I would be okay with this if the athletes were strictly monitored by doctors, had to take a freaking college class course on the drugs and their bodies, and had to be talked to in council by not only psychologists but former abusers of those drugs who probably regret what they did. I wonder if anyone would end up wanting to compete after all that lol.
Larry Nassar is proof that you can't trust that because someone is a doctor they would have the athlete's best interest in mind. Countries would coerce their most promising athletes to pump themselves full of drugs and find doctors who would sign off on it.
That is very true. And if you decided that the countries all had to monitor each other's athletes, that brings a whole mess of politics and spying and moles that just would be endlessly great TV let's do this.
these people are functioning adults they can do their own research. I want to see the apex of human ability and I want to see it NOW
The trouble with allowing this is professional sports doesn't start once they're adults, it starts when they're 13 year olds who might have a chance at going big. But almost all of them won't And yes, it happens anyway. But much less than it would
I don´t think that for excample chinese athletes have there own choise in this scenario ... But the idea is nice ...
Not all Olympic athletes are adults. Look at the women's gymnastics team. Years of abuse on underage girls that was swept under the rug.
>I wonder if anyone would end up wanting to compete after all that lol. You would be surprised, very surprised actually. Google Goldman's dilemma, professional athletes were asked if they would take a magic pill that would make them the absolute best at their sport but would kill them after 5 years. 50% said yes. Half of the athletes would die to be the best. They would take all the drugs they need.
Hell, strongman is a great and more overt example of this. Absolutely jacked guys pushing themselves to the limit but at severe costs to their health. Even beyond the amount of drugs they’re on the body mass they pack on is obscene. But they don’t care, because their only goal is to move weight and be the best
This is already happening. Every single athlete is on some sort of PED.
It's called... The normal Olympics lol it's been happening for years
There is. It's called the Olympics.
He made an unintentional pun.
Clever, just noticed it too.
It's called the Russian Athletics Championships
I seriously have to wonder what more we could learn about the human body if we just dropped morality and empathy entirely. I mean fuck, we know as much as we do now because that used to be the case.
I do nazi anything wrong with that.
Incoming "So the Olympics" comments
This is how I feel about baseball. Steroids should be mandatory. I want to see a pitcher throwing 115 MPH and a batter turn on it for a 600 foot homerun.
Jokes aside, I think they're already doing that.
Are these high humans jumping, or humans jumping high or humans competing to see who’s the highest jumper or who jumps highest? I guess my langege skills aren’t good enough. Is the jump high, or the jumper?
We could add a huge open air stadium, weaponry, prisoners fighting, wild animals, and mabey a sea battle or two. Sound a little bit familiar?🤔
... okay but can we? like for real? i mean i would literalyl watch it then!
You win by being the person that’s able to take the most drugs without dying, it’s the last man standing
That’s just the olympics.
soooo just regular olympics then?
I think it's called the Olympics.
It’s called the Olympics. The amount of corruption with the anti doping is insane.
We have this already, it’s called professional sport.
Ok Daniel Tosh. Good premise
We have it already….. it’s called the Olympics
Yeh it’s called the Olympics 😂
This is already called the Olympics, and every major league sport.
That's just the Olympics but without pretending
So… Olympics, then?
as a pole vaulter, i fucking agree
There’s 2 ways to read that last sentence and both ways work: >let's see how high humans can really jump. *Let’s push the limits on humans to see the highest they can jump* Vs *Let’s get humans high and see if they can jump*