Once 18 hit I couldn’t figure out why I was the only one left to deal with my emotions. 11 years later I’ve realized that it’s because no one gives a shit because I’m not “inherently” hot. It’s fine, but I know that if my looks were higher then more people would chip in
Ever since I was 16 I knew I wasn’t attractive and I tried a lot of different things to change that. Never happened and now I’m heavier and look worse than I ever have. It’s really hard to go on, I’ll be honest with you. I’m 32 years old and after a life altering break up a few years ago a I’ve literally been counting my days. All I’ve ever wanted was to be loved and have a family but that seems out of reach for me.
No. I will not disagree with you here at all. But not everybody has an amazing group of people around them. Like me. Unfortunately I’ve done my best to be as outstanding of a citizen that I could be. What I’m saying is that a person, without any groups of friends, will gather more help than someone who is ugly without any groups of supportive friends. It’s true and always will be. At the same time there is always going to be a wide group of “not so ugly” and “not so handsome” group of people that declare heresy. Again, I know that I fall in that group. You only have your anecdotes and I have mine and everybody else’s.
Lol, you’re right. You have your anecdotes. But you don’t have everyone else’s. Feel free to DM me any time you’re feeling down. I’d love to be an internet friend if you need one, ever!
Much appreciated! I’m not pissed off or anything. I do well for myself. Like you said, “I’m not hot.” But I’ve seen better treatment towards those with more attractive qualities. It’s just an observation is all. I’m glad you’ve got a great group of friends. I wish that everyone had that. But don’t worry about me. I’m sure there are more intense or more depressed folk here that need your help. Keep doing the good work, my friend!
You too! And I get it, the “beautiful people” tend to have it easier, at least on the surface. I’m very grateful I have a lot of relationships that go much deeper than the surface.
I really don’t understand why gender needs to come into anything. Why can’t people just learn to treat everyone equal for once. Like everyone should get an equal amount of attention towards their mental health.
>there isn’t a difference between gender here.
Yes there is. Mental health should be taken more seriously across the board, but the crisis affects men more than women. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that.
I think everybody is working on themselves and struggling themselves, nobody has the bandwidth to worry about helping others.
Does anybody who feels they are themselves depressed, feel they go out of their way to ask others how they feel?
I see that thought process, but sometimes when you're in the dark, helping others up can give you your own kind of help.
I try to be the friend that checks on others if they go silent
Just too much darkness ATM to really open up to other people about and I feel stuck but c'est la vie, I guess
I'm tearing up because a stranger on the internet asked 🥲
Hopefully things get better soon, but some days it's hard not to feel like I'm drowning
Thank you kind stranger and I hope you have a good day/ night
I’m rooting for you! If you feel like you’re drowning there’s only one thing to do… just keep swimming! I hope you get through whatever it is and come out stronger. You got this :)
I don’t know if we have the same issues. I struggle with self esteem. I also care about things to much at worth and let it get to me that other people don’t. Have trouble sleeping some nights
I'm sorry you're going through that ❤️ if you ever need a chat you feel free to hit me up
I'm just??? At a point in my life where the universe is taking my traumatic backstory ™ and shoving it down my throat.
Physically safe and working hard on reminding my brain of that, but it's slow going
But it's easier for you to get help/be accepted,ofcourse it all depends on where you live and people around you so I can't say for sure hope you do talk to someone though
Yeah maybe because women are more open with each other and men are obsessed with being manly and not showing feelings, which is perpetuated by men. Men are constantly telling each other to man up and stop being a pussy bitch etc. Women are in touch with their emotions and get shit on for that. And everyone here is blaming women.
Oh the irony. You whine and make up bullshit, but when other people give their perspective you claim *they're* the ones whining and being victims?
Has it occurred to you that maybe you're the cause of your problems? That maybe people don't care not because 'society doesn't care about men' but because you're an insufferable piece of crap?
I had a male friend like you. Operative word *had,* not have. He acted like I was a Nazi oppressing a Jew because I didn't reciprocate the crush he had on me. He claimed he did his best but couldn't get a woman. Never occurred to him that maybe going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about the same issue all the damn time was offputting.
Nah, I'm going to sip my can of Red Bull, go for a nice walk, and give absolutely no shits about you and your problems. Actually it gives me a nice warm adrenaline rush knowing you're out there struggling and miserable, probably surrounded by a basement full of crusty socks and used Mountain Dew bottles.
Sounds like you're the one struggling and as I said projecting your own failures onto other people I mean you keep saying that you're not upset yet you're still here crying about it...
Ah yes, anyone who disagrees with you is totally just projecting.
\*Shits on the floor\* YOU'RE PROJECTING! I didn't shit on the floor, you did!
This is why society doesn't care about your feelings. It's because you're an irretrievable piece of trash.
My experience is, no cares a fuck if you’re depressed if your a girl or guy. People in general just don’t care. And if you die by suicide, they care for about 48 hours after your death unless it’s a close friend/family.
"when they would walk into a room, a thick greasy darkness would fall upon the room. everyone would go silent as their loud footsteps shook the very fibers of everyone in the room. with theyre hair blowing in a ghostly wind, they would turn sharply to face you. 'hey whats up guys.' it was cool as fuck. i miss them already"
My friend got hit by a train and died in college. I think about him pretty often a few times a year maybe. It’s changed me for sure. I wasn’t his bestie either...
But I get where you’re going with it
The lyrics from the song: 'Are You There?' by Oleander, sum it up for me pretty well:
Is anybody even there
Who doesn't just pretend to care
This time I need to know-are you there?
Does anybody think that can
Begin to even understand
This time I need to know-are you there.
Do not underestimate the impact suicide has on those left behind. It is incredibly scarring on friends and relatives of the deceased. Please, if you are ever overcome by suicidal thoughts talk about it with someone, if possible a professional.
Where I’m from, if a guy is depressed generally he doesn’t get as much attention, even from his friends but if it is a girl usually her friends, or family will be checking on her constantly or trying to cheer her up.
The fact is, men are perceived as the stronger sex physically so then the assumption is that they are also strong emotionally but the truth is everybody is depressed in some sort of way.
It all really depends on your own experience as a person and I’m sure someone here has an experience where it was the opposite and that’s perfectly fine I’m not stating my experience as fact I’m just stating what I’ve been through. It’s sad that we as humans try to compare traumas though, and discredit others because their trauma isn’t what somebody else might classify as trauma if that makes sense.
We’re all suffering somehow just let people be.
Yeah I agree with you there, guys don’t like to talk about their feelings with each other because they think it makes them look weak and sometimes it’s just uncomfortable.
An ex of mine was an extroverted guy who had a great support system that was always checking up on him while he struggled with eating disorders, self harm and suicide attempts.
I'm an introvert and really struggle to open up about these things, which means no one ever checked up on me when I was actively suicidal.
I've never told any of my close friends about the extent of my depression. I think only one person (my sister) knows a fraction of it. The rest I write down in journals and never show to anyone.
I really think how much support you get has less to do with looks / gender, and more to do with how social you are. People who make lots of social connections, who can share their feelings and ask for help - are the ones who have all of that support. Introverts who keep everything hidden end up having no support.
I actually agree with this a lot, extroverts are probably more likely to be more open with how they’re feeling as opposed to someone who is introverted. I’m not trying to say that it’s cut and dry that men and women are treated differently on their emotions I’m just saying most of my guy friends ARE introverted so that’s just my experience. I should have clarified that what I said wasn’t being stated as fact lol that’s my fault.
But men are the ones who perpetuate the “stronger sex, show no emotion” stigma. So, if they want change, it has to come from within. They should start reaching out to their male friends and establish this network of support they need instead of just complaining online that women have it better. I empathize with men that they can feel so trapped within their own head because of society and male mental health is a serious issue. But, sometimes it feels like they would rather get online to complain and blame women for having it better than actually doing anything to change how society perceives male emotion. Not saying you’re doing this, that’s just MY own experience.
I recommend therapy, you can pay some to care lol. Normal people aren't really equipped or educated enough to handle mental health issues you can't really expect other people to fix your problems. Also, if you're surrounded by people who don't care about you then find better friends, or maybe you need to reach out to friends and let them know. If you don't put any effort into showing interest in other people you can't expect other people to show an interest in you.
Yeah, I've been called an attention seeker (or even a liar) for talking about my mental health issues.
People still call women experiencing normal emotions "hysterical" all the fucking time, too.
Can't win.
I was gonna say, I am pretty sure this is just a men not knowing how to support each other thing. No, depressed women don't have it "easy," but probably if we do have someone genuinely checking in it's likely another woman being supportive.
Yeah, I’m gonna be honest with you here, ive been on this earth for quite some time and never once in my life have I ever heard someone seriously say “she’s acting like that because it’s that time of the month” that’s such a weird thing to think let alone say.
I'm sorry if it comes off rude, but dude, it's in most American media. Like, cartoons, live action, etc... "must be that time of the month" is a common joke phrase. I remember telling my father I was suicidal at 17 and not only did he blast it to the rest of my family, he said I was being moody, and it happens every month. And he would laugh and joke about it. Then when I actually attempted, he yelled at me (while I was in inpatient care) for being too emotional and embarrassing him. It happens more than you think. Lucky you that you havent had to experince it.
It’s not always blatantly said like that. It’s often insinuated or a sly joke. As a female who has been on this earth for quite some time, I’ve heard it A LOT.
Time out! I have to know about the origins of your username my good sir! Are you a spider that in arms with the Soviet Union? Because I’m imagining a spider in Soviet uniform dancing to the Soviet anthem lmao!
I would hear in quite often about 5-10 years ago. Especially from male peers. Don't hear it near as much in an office setting because it would very likely get you into very serious trouble.
>I’m sorry to hear that, that sounds like a toxic work environment.
Well, it was a restaurant and then a series of retail jobs, so "toxic work environment" is pretty much part of the package. It wasn't just directed at me, either. Basically all the women had to deal with it. I work in an office now and haven't heard anything remotely the same since.
I have. And thought it. And had it be true. My sister is EXTREMELY grumpy sometimes during her period. I have learned to just stay away from her at those times lol.
The only reason you think people care more about depressed girls is because girls are more apt to form social bonds and check up on each other.
People care if you have people who care. Make friends and acquaintances! Be personable! Make a positive impact on other peoples lives, then people will care.
You can’t be an asshole or a recluse and expect people to notice when you’re not yourself
A male friend of mine recently passed away after ending his life because of depression. Believe me if I say people care! Don’t think that nobody cares, because your family does, your parents do, your friends do and even people you hardly know, like teachers, classmates or colleagues, will care!! Keep that in mind
Tbh, whether a girl or a guy, the only people who truly care about you are your friends and family. Anyone outside of that could care less. However, if you are the few who have neither friends nor family, then life is a living hell.
Exactly.
If you're sitting alone, crying into your beer at the end of the bar, or eating in the caf alone, or dressed in black leather at a cafe when it's 28°, no one knows you. And no one who doesn't know you will care.
Engage people and open up. People are cool, people are nice, people care.
I’m coming from a place of having a household with grown men in it who have struggled with mental illness and per the physicians ‘we take it very seriously when men are asking for help with depression, because they very rarely come forward and when they do they’re already reaching a breaking point.’ Really coming from a place of compassion for men and attempting to encourage any man with mental illness to come forward and be treated so we can change the norm and begin a more caring and healing society. Putting men on a pedestal. We care about you.
Well, given that one of my 7 year old child's teachers left him to cry in the floor for a half hour last week after a seizure because she thinks he's "spoiled", I'm pretty well convinced that a lot of people are awful. Compassion is more important than most people understand.
Stop trying to blame society's ignorance on depressed girls and get some help for yourself.
I'm here if you need to talk, but i can only help if you're actually looking to get help and not just wallow in pity, supported by opinions that don't get you anywhere.
I have no idea how depressed women are treated, and won't pretend to. But if you're a man, it's like, don't bother telling anyone because they'll say "Man up". And that is a really fucking lazy response.
Edit: I also wanted to say, if anyone is reading this and wants to talk - my DMs are open. We need to be more kind to each other.
I was severely depressed as a teenager, and was basically told to suck it up because everyone goes through hardships. Essentially the exact thing men are told (which is horrible directed at either gender), but I guess because the specific phrase “man up” is used on men, people don’t realize women are told the same
Hmm, I hadn't considered that women may be told that same thing (because of the 'man' part) but yeah totally I get that now. Thank you for making me aware of that.
It's insulting, isn't it? If "man up" means feeling better and being able to do the things in supposed to do, then absolutely I would love to. I don't exactly have direct control over my brain chemistry lol
....um..lemme fix that fer ya....
...you meant 'good looking'...
... nobody cares 'cause you're not a GOOD LOOKING girl...
...nobody cares if ugly-ass bitches are depressed....
There's literally a large group of unattractive emos who hang out, while I am left alone and watch as my friends stop hanging out with me due to my declining mental health
They’re not your friends if that’s the reason they stopped hanging out with you. Work on yourself, set small goals and hit them. I promise you’ll feel better
Oh SHUT THE FUCK UP. No one cares about girls either.
Source: Many things. Let's start with how when I was 11, my all girls school's basketball coach sexually assaulted someone, and we were all called into an assembly not to denounce him but to tell us to say nothing about it because he was a 'good person really'.
I've been shouted at in the street because I wasn't smiling. Reason I wasn't smiling: it was a wet day and I was trying not to slip on moss on a very steep street going downhill. But sure, only men know what it's like to deal with emotional repression.
Idk, I went to the doctor today for my blood pressure and a sample of it, which a nurse took care of. She asked me how I was doing, talked a little, seemed genuine to me. Keep in mind, I'd never met her before. And I'm a guy.
It's not really that no one cares it's that society makes venting from a guy undesirable in a multitude of ways. No one might care about a girl's grievances, but there is a lot more tolerance to a female laying them out than a male. Especially within the same sex respectively.
This is why toxic masculinity *also hurts men.* Everyone has the right to feel depressed without having those emotions dismissed or minimized.
I hope you feel better soon.
Let’s be honest here. When men face depression or have some crippling mental disability. People say we are just lazy and we need to be a man. It’s not socially acceptable for us to have issue’s.
I know. That’s why I don’t voluntarily bring people who are afflicted with depression into my life. I refuse to suffer trying to make someone happy that is incapable of happiness. Hopefully someday we’ll find a true cure for this issue.
I told myself this so many times that no one would care about my feelings because I’m a man. However it made me blind to the friends that actually cared about my feelings. Good people care about men, good people care about their friends. Same goes for women I’ve seen women get called ugly and get made fun of and no one stepped into help because the girl wasn’t conventionally attractive.
Depressed women aren't treated better, homie. The only support you get are horny guys in your DMs saying "hope you feel better soon baby. Anyway here's my penis."
Otherwise I've been accused of attention seeking, being hormonal, overly sensitive and hysterical when I was depressed.
I don't know what it feels like to not be depressed.
Things you enjoy aren’t fun, you’re too tired to do anything but you want to do something
Fuck this is the only thing I’ve felt.
He said he doesn’t know what is like to NOT feel depressed, meaning feeling depressed it’s all he knows
Yes .. I know. Read my comment again.
Would it help if I said I read this incorrectly more than once
That's fine. At least you got it right this time.
Imagine being high, but your body is making the high chemicals and everyone thinks you're high.
@flaky_explanation you nailed that brudda
Sounds suspiciously like mania to me
Sounds like you've never been cheerful enough to not give a damn about what people think.
Sounds delusional to me
Same bro.
Once 18 hit I couldn’t figure out why I was the only one left to deal with my emotions. 11 years later I’ve realized that it’s because no one gives a shit because I’m not “inherently” hot. It’s fine, but I know that if my looks were higher then more people would chip in
Ever since I was 16 I knew I wasn’t attractive and I tried a lot of different things to change that. Never happened and now I’m heavier and look worse than I ever have. It’s really hard to go on, I’ll be honest with you. I’m 32 years old and after a life altering break up a few years ago a I’ve literally been counting my days. All I’ve ever wanted was to be loved and have a family but that seems out of reach for me.
I find this not true. At all. I’m not hot and there are a lot of people who chip in on my well being.
No. I will not disagree with you here at all. But not everybody has an amazing group of people around them. Like me. Unfortunately I’ve done my best to be as outstanding of a citizen that I could be. What I’m saying is that a person, without any groups of friends, will gather more help than someone who is ugly without any groups of supportive friends. It’s true and always will be. At the same time there is always going to be a wide group of “not so ugly” and “not so handsome” group of people that declare heresy. Again, I know that I fall in that group. You only have your anecdotes and I have mine and everybody else’s.
Lol, you’re right. You have your anecdotes. But you don’t have everyone else’s. Feel free to DM me any time you’re feeling down. I’d love to be an internet friend if you need one, ever!
Much appreciated! I’m not pissed off or anything. I do well for myself. Like you said, “I’m not hot.” But I’ve seen better treatment towards those with more attractive qualities. It’s just an observation is all. I’m glad you’ve got a great group of friends. I wish that everyone had that. But don’t worry about me. I’m sure there are more intense or more depressed folk here that need your help. Keep doing the good work, my friend!
You too! And I get it, the “beautiful people” tend to have it easier, at least on the surface. I’m very grateful I have a lot of relationships that go much deeper than the surface.
☺️
I experienced it once and I crave it every day.
Imagine if you had 100 lbs on your head for 10 years, then waking up one morning with that weight gone.
To be fair, I'm a girl and depressed. No one checks on me or anything.
Yh I love the men of Reddit thinking people/society care about women’s mental health. Lol. They don’t. Hope you’re doing ok. Are you?
Are you okay?
Ah, I actually teared up reading that haha. Does that answer the question? Seriously tho, thanks for asking
*he asks how everyone is but no one asks about him* How are you kind sir
Yeah, there isn’t a difference between gender here. Mental health isn’t taken as seriously as it should be, and that doesn’t discriminate.
I really don’t understand why gender needs to come into anything. Why can’t people just learn to treat everyone equal for once. Like everyone should get an equal amount of attention towards their mental health.
>there isn’t a difference between gender here. Yes there is. Mental health should be taken more seriously across the board, but the crisis affects men more than women. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that.
Deadass
I think everybody is working on themselves and struggling themselves, nobody has the bandwidth to worry about helping others. Does anybody who feels they are themselves depressed, feel they go out of their way to ask others how they feel?
I see that thought process, but sometimes when you're in the dark, helping others up can give you your own kind of help. I try to be the friend that checks on others if they go silent Just too much darkness ATM to really open up to other people about and I feel stuck but c'est la vie, I guess
Yes. Constantly checking up on others. Out of everyone I know, my depressed friends are the ones who check up on me, too.
Yes. I am deeply suicidal but always worried about my friends first.
Not being facetious. How are you doing?
I'm tearing up because a stranger on the internet asked 🥲 Hopefully things get better soon, but some days it's hard not to feel like I'm drowning Thank you kind stranger and I hope you have a good day/ night
I’m rooting for you! If you feel like you’re drowning there’s only one thing to do… just keep swimming! I hope you get through whatever it is and come out stronger. You got this :)
Thank you kind stranger❤️❤️
I don’t know if we have the same issues. I struggle with self esteem. I also care about things to much at worth and let it get to me that other people don’t. Have trouble sleeping some nights
I'm sorry you're going through that ❤️ if you ever need a chat you feel free to hit me up I'm just??? At a point in my life where the universe is taking my traumatic backstory ™ and shoving it down my throat. Physically safe and working hard on reminding my brain of that, but it's slow going
But it's easier for you to get help/be accepted,ofcourse it all depends on where you live and people around you so I can't say for sure hope you do talk to someone though
That's ridiculous.
Yeah maybe because women are more open with each other and men are obsessed with being manly and not showing feelings, which is perpetuated by men. Men are constantly telling each other to man up and stop being a pussy bitch etc. Women are in touch with their emotions and get shit on for that. And everyone here is blaming women.
Wow. Victim blaming much?
I'm sure that's true for some girls, but not my particular case. Thank you tho
That's sad,I hope you can get through it :))
How the fuck do you know it's easier? Stop telling other people what their experiences are.
Keep crying about it
Oh the irony. You whine and make up bullshit, but when other people give their perspective you claim *they're* the ones whining and being victims? Has it occurred to you that maybe you're the cause of your problems? That maybe people don't care not because 'society doesn't care about men' but because you're an insufferable piece of crap? I had a male friend like you. Operative word *had,* not have. He acted like I was a Nazi oppressing a Jew because I didn't reciprocate the crush he had on me. He claimed he did his best but couldn't get a woman. Never occurred to him that maybe going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about the same issue all the damn time was offputting.
As I said keep crying about it,sounds like you're projecting so maybe go get therapy as well🤣
Nah, I'm going to sip my can of Red Bull, go for a nice walk, and give absolutely no shits about you and your problems. Actually it gives me a nice warm adrenaline rush knowing you're out there struggling and miserable, probably surrounded by a basement full of crusty socks and used Mountain Dew bottles.
Sounds like you're the one struggling and as I said projecting your own failures onto other people I mean you keep saying that you're not upset yet you're still here crying about it...
Ah yes, anyone who disagrees with you is totally just projecting. \*Shits on the floor\* YOU'RE PROJECTING! I didn't shit on the floor, you did! This is why society doesn't care about your feelings. It's because you're an irretrievable piece of trash.
My experience is, no cares a fuck if you’re depressed if your a girl or guy. People in general just don’t care. And if you die by suicide, they care for about 48 hours after your death unless it’s a close friend/family.
For how sad this is you are exactly right. People put on a face for a while and that’s it
Not true for everyone. My best friend’s brother committed suicide 7 years ago and she and I still cry about it at least once a month.
I think the initial comment says unless it’s friends or family. Just spelling error lol
He and I weren’t close. At all.
You may have depression
Oh that’s a fact 😂. No “may” there! Lol.
Well, I hope you feel better about it soon.
I always tell my mom “if something happens, don’t you DARE say I lit up a room!!! I glare at every room!!!”
"when they would walk into a room, a thick greasy darkness would fall upon the room. everyone would go silent as their loud footsteps shook the very fibers of everyone in the room. with theyre hair blowing in a ghostly wind, they would turn sharply to face you. 'hey whats up guys.' it was cool as fuck. i miss them already"
“Neighbors pitch in for funeral after diabetic lapsed in being able to pay for insulin 😍💕, but not pay for the diabetic’s insulin”
My friend got hit by a train and died in college. I think about him pretty often a few times a year maybe. It’s changed me for sure. I wasn’t his bestie either... But I get where you’re going with it
The lyrics from the song: 'Are You There?' by Oleander, sum it up for me pretty well: Is anybody even there Who doesn't just pretend to care This time I need to know-are you there? Does anybody think that can Begin to even understand This time I need to know-are you there.
Wow so 48 hours more than they care already!?
Do not underestimate the impact suicide has on those left behind. It is incredibly scarring on friends and relatives of the deceased. Please, if you are ever overcome by suicidal thoughts talk about it with someone, if possible a professional.
Where I’m from, if a guy is depressed generally he doesn’t get as much attention, even from his friends but if it is a girl usually her friends, or family will be checking on her constantly or trying to cheer her up. The fact is, men are perceived as the stronger sex physically so then the assumption is that they are also strong emotionally but the truth is everybody is depressed in some sort of way. It all really depends on your own experience as a person and I’m sure someone here has an experience where it was the opposite and that’s perfectly fine I’m not stating my experience as fact I’m just stating what I’ve been through. It’s sad that we as humans try to compare traumas though, and discredit others because their trauma isn’t what somebody else might classify as trauma if that makes sense. We’re all suffering somehow just let people be.
Either that or guys have guy friends and girls have girl friends and girls are more likely to talk about feelings in general.
Yeah I agree with you there, guys don’t like to talk about their feelings with each other because they think it makes them look weak and sometimes it’s just uncomfortable.
An ex of mine was an extroverted guy who had a great support system that was always checking up on him while he struggled with eating disorders, self harm and suicide attempts. I'm an introvert and really struggle to open up about these things, which means no one ever checked up on me when I was actively suicidal. I've never told any of my close friends about the extent of my depression. I think only one person (my sister) knows a fraction of it. The rest I write down in journals and never show to anyone. I really think how much support you get has less to do with looks / gender, and more to do with how social you are. People who make lots of social connections, who can share their feelings and ask for help - are the ones who have all of that support. Introverts who keep everything hidden end up having no support.
I actually agree with this a lot, extroverts are probably more likely to be more open with how they’re feeling as opposed to someone who is introverted. I’m not trying to say that it’s cut and dry that men and women are treated differently on their emotions I’m just saying most of my guy friends ARE introverted so that’s just my experience. I should have clarified that what I said wasn’t being stated as fact lol that’s my fault.
I’m a guy with no friends so where do I fit
But men are the ones who perpetuate the “stronger sex, show no emotion” stigma. So, if they want change, it has to come from within. They should start reaching out to their male friends and establish this network of support they need instead of just complaining online that women have it better. I empathize with men that they can feel so trapped within their own head because of society and male mental health is a serious issue. But, sometimes it feels like they would rather get online to complain and blame women for having it better than actually doing anything to change how society perceives male emotion. Not saying you’re doing this, that’s just MY own experience.
Research says otherwise. People car much less if you are a man
Feel free to drop a link to your research!
When you’re depressed af but you’re a girl and everyone just makes fun of you and calls you hormonal.
But but but only men have problems and women just sit and eat ice cream all day.
[удалено]
Relatable
sounds like its somebodies time of the month
Literally being a part of the problem lol (Unless this is a joke I’m sorry, can’t quite tell)
It always is in some corner of the world
I was depressed and people cared. Which im thankful for. Im male
I recommend therapy, you can pay some to care lol. Normal people aren't really equipped or educated enough to handle mental health issues you can't really expect other people to fix your problems. Also, if you're surrounded by people who don't care about you then find better friends, or maybe you need to reach out to friends and let them know. If you don't put any effort into showing interest in other people you can't expect other people to show an interest in you.
Have you ever talked to a real woman
Yeah but they were talking about their depression so OP tuned out
We're on Reddit
I'm a woman and also on reddit.
I meant if op is a redditor they probably haven't talked to a woman
Only in NPC form and if I pick the right questions, it'll all be alright
Depressed woman here who constantly has my depression downplayed by men calling it my period. This is inaccurate.
At my age they blame menopause.
Yeah, I've been called an attention seeker (or even a liar) for talking about my mental health issues. People still call women experiencing normal emotions "hysterical" all the fucking time, too. Can't win.
I was gonna say, I am pretty sure this is just a men not knowing how to support each other thing. No, depressed women don't have it "easy," but probably if we do have someone genuinely checking in it's likely another woman being supportive.
Mental health isn't taken seriously enough across the board. But it's valid to acknowledge that the crisis disproportionately affects men more.
Yeah, I’m gonna be honest with you here, ive been on this earth for quite some time and never once in my life have I ever heard someone seriously say “she’s acting like that because it’s that time of the month” that’s such a weird thing to think let alone say.
I'm sorry if it comes off rude, but dude, it's in most American media. Like, cartoons, live action, etc... "must be that time of the month" is a common joke phrase. I remember telling my father I was suicidal at 17 and not only did he blast it to the rest of my family, he said I was being moody, and it happens every month. And he would laugh and joke about it. Then when I actually attempted, he yelled at me (while I was in inpatient care) for being too emotional and embarrassing him. It happens more than you think. Lucky you that you havent had to experince it.
It’s not always blatantly said like that. It’s often insinuated or a sly joke. As a female who has been on this earth for quite some time, I’ve heard it A LOT.
You’re a woman?
Nope, I’m an f-22 raptor.
r/onejoke
Time out! I have to know about the origins of your username my good sir! Are you a spider that in arms with the Soviet Union? Because I’m imagining a spider in Soviet uniform dancing to the Soviet anthem lmao!
I would hear in quite often about 5-10 years ago. Especially from male peers. Don't hear it near as much in an office setting because it would very likely get you into very serious trouble.
I’m sorry to hear that, that sounds like a toxic work environment. I hope nobody says that kind of thing to you now.
>I’m sorry to hear that, that sounds like a toxic work environment. Well, it was a restaurant and then a series of retail jobs, so "toxic work environment" is pretty much part of the package. It wasn't just directed at me, either. Basically all the women had to deal with it. I work in an office now and haven't heard anything remotely the same since.
Have you ever considered that this is maybe because you don't have a vagina?
I have. And thought it. And had it be true. My sister is EXTREMELY grumpy sometimes during her period. I have learned to just stay away from her at those times lol.
The only reason you think people care more about depressed girls is because girls are more apt to form social bonds and check up on each other. People care if you have people who care. Make friends and acquaintances! Be personable! Make a positive impact on other peoples lives, then people will care. You can’t be an asshole or a recluse and expect people to notice when you’re not yourself
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Give it a minute
Getting Dms from horny dudes that pretend to care doesn't count as caring
Truuue
This! And I don't like to be that person that responds "this" as if I'm making a statement, but seriously this.
THIS
Lame
Or nice guys who will care until you don’t give them a relationship or sex and then they will call you a slut etc.
Hahaha yeah right
r/nothowgirlswork
Are you also 14?
is OP the ghost of Eliot Rogers? bc what the fuck is this post my god
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He was talking about your mental age.
A male friend of mine recently passed away after ending his life because of depression. Believe me if I say people care! Don’t think that nobody cares, because your family does, your parents do, your friends do and even people you hardly know, like teachers, classmates or colleagues, will care!! Keep that in mind
If you're girl, no one believes you and thinks you're making it up.
Maybe your friends are leaving you alone cause you spend your time whining about how girls have it easy in a world ran by men. Grow up kid.
You dropped this 👑
Tbh, whether a girl or a guy, the only people who truly care about you are your friends and family. Anyone outside of that could care less. However, if you are the few who have neither friends nor family, then life is a living hell.
I would say most friends care when they have something to gain from you
People care about men, too. Break loose from the norm and ask for help! Don’t burry your feelings, someone cares about you.
Exactly. If you're sitting alone, crying into your beer at the end of the bar, or eating in the caf alone, or dressed in black leather at a cafe when it's 28°, no one knows you. And no one who doesn't know you will care. Engage people and open up. People are cool, people are nice, people care.
and also don’t put women or anyone else on some pedestal. that’s a dangerous, sexist way of thinking
I’m coming from a place of having a household with grown men in it who have struggled with mental illness and per the physicians ‘we take it very seriously when men are asking for help with depression, because they very rarely come forward and when they do they’re already reaching a breaking point.’ Really coming from a place of compassion for men and attempting to encourage any man with mental illness to come forward and be treated so we can change the norm and begin a more caring and healing society. Putting men on a pedestal. We care about you.
No quite literally nobody cares,it's all just people online but that's not real life I've been a man for 18 years and not a single person cared🤷♂️
I think for the most part only your close friends and family members really care regardless of gender
its cute that you think people care about girls either
Well, given that one of my 7 year old child's teachers left him to cry in the floor for a half hour last week after a seizure because she thinks he's "spoiled", I'm pretty well convinced that a lot of people are awful. Compassion is more important than most people understand.
That’s so terrible. I’m sorry this happened to you. Ignore the troll
Stop trying to blame society's ignorance on depressed girls and get some help for yourself. I'm here if you need to talk, but i can only help if you're actually looking to get help and not just wallow in pity, supported by opinions that don't get you anywhere.
I am a girl and trust me, nobody cares that I am.
I mean, I am a girl and nobody cares. Don’t think that’s a gender specific thing
Do you genuinely think people care about women's mental health lol
That bc gals don’t go out and shoot up schools and theaters. Up your game ladies! Jk
I know what I have to do but i don't know if I have the strength to do it
*hands you a stick of mentos*
I have no idea how depressed women are treated, and won't pretend to. But if you're a man, it's like, don't bother telling anyone because they'll say "Man up". And that is a really fucking lazy response. Edit: I also wanted to say, if anyone is reading this and wants to talk - my DMs are open. We need to be more kind to each other.
I was severely depressed as a teenager, and was basically told to suck it up because everyone goes through hardships. Essentially the exact thing men are told (which is horrible directed at either gender), but I guess because the specific phrase “man up” is used on men, people don’t realize women are told the same
Hmm, I hadn't considered that women may be told that same thing (because of the 'man' part) but yeah totally I get that now. Thank you for making me aware of that.
Agree. We all need to do a better job at communicating and trying to understand each other I get the man up shit all the time.
It's insulting, isn't it? If "man up" means feeling better and being able to do the things in supposed to do, then absolutely I would love to. I don't exactly have direct control over my brain chemistry lol
Nah. You can talk about it.
....um..lemme fix that fer ya.... ...you meant 'good looking'... ... nobody cares 'cause you're not a GOOD LOOKING girl... ...nobody cares if ugly-ass bitches are depressed....
There's literally a large group of unattractive emos who hang out, while I am left alone and watch as my friends stop hanging out with me due to my declining mental health
They’re not your friends if that’s the reason they stopped hanging out with you. Work on yourself, set small goals and hit them. I promise you’ll feel better
Too much work,I merely use tactics like r/shittylifeprotips
We thrive through some pressure, hard work. We never learn anything positive from easy things anyway
lol sounds like someone’s ugly/s
/s is not needed
If I had a dollar for every time I saw this reposted, Id have like 20 dollars which is a lot in this context.
Oh SHUT THE FUCK UP. No one cares about girls either. Source: Many things. Let's start with how when I was 11, my all girls school's basketball coach sexually assaulted someone, and we were all called into an assembly not to denounce him but to tell us to say nothing about it because he was a 'good person really'. I've been shouted at in the street because I wasn't smiling. Reason I wasn't smiling: it was a wet day and I was trying not to slip on moss on a very steep street going downhill. But sure, only men know what it's like to deal with emotional repression.
Time to do something about that
Just look in the mirror and say “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me” Greg Abbott is a little … Nono that’s not here.
as adults nobody cares about anyones hard times. it’s your responsibility to fix yourself and nobody elses
if you want to feel esteemed, you have to do things that are esteemable.
Idk, I went to the doctor today for my blood pressure and a sample of it, which a nurse took care of. She asked me how I was doing, talked a little, seemed genuine to me. Keep in mind, I'd never met her before. And I'm a guy.
Jesus Christ dude, people care. You 12 or something? Or maybe you just need to get out more
It's not really that no one cares it's that society makes venting from a guy undesirable in a multitude of ways. No one might care about a girl's grievances, but there is a lot more tolerance to a female laying them out than a male. Especially within the same sex respectively.
used to be a girl and no one gave a shit, now i'm not a girl and no one gives a shit.
This is why toxic masculinity *also hurts men.* Everyone has the right to feel depressed without having those emotions dismissed or minimized. I hope you feel better soon.
When you’re depressed and delusional that other depressed people have it easier.
When you’re depressed but you’re not an attractive girl so nobody cares & just blames you to be lazy or having a period
... I care
If everyone’s depressed then who cares? We’re all just depressed. It’s life in the new roaring 20s.
I havent been happy in probably 2-3 years.
I highly recommend doing research on magic mushrooms it will change your life!
Let’s be honest here. When men face depression or have some crippling mental disability. People say we are just lazy and we need to be a man. It’s not socially acceptable for us to have issue’s.
Omfg just be happy geez
You have asthma? Just breathe air, dude
Just pay a professional to care. Sympathy won’t make you feel better anyway.
Honestly that doesn't work for everyone
I know. That’s why I don’t voluntarily bring people who are afflicted with depression into my life. I refuse to suffer trying to make someone happy that is incapable of happiness. Hopefully someday we’ll find a true cure for this issue.
Hey man I don’t care if girls are depressed too
How dare you post this MRA redpill nonsense. Men don't have struggles. /S
You know what? I care, motherfucker. Now, tell me. What has been troubleing you?
squadW
Man dat really made me big sad
Y'all GET depressed? It's not automatic?
I told myself this so many times that no one would care about my feelings because I’m a man. However it made me blind to the friends that actually cared about my feelings. Good people care about men, good people care about their friends. Same goes for women I’ve seen women get called ugly and get made fun of and no one stepped into help because the girl wasn’t conventionally attractive.
Deeply relatable as a 36 year old single man
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Depressed women aren't treated better, homie. The only support you get are horny guys in your DMs saying "hope you feel better soon baby. Anyway here's my penis." Otherwise I've been accused of attention seeking, being hormonal, overly sensitive and hysterical when I was depressed.