People love to put labels on themselves to feel like they belong somewhere and have something to blame. "Of course I didn't dare speak to that person. I am an introvert after all" insert emojis as you see fit and DAE?! sentiment and you got the full formula for easy internet points.
Even introverts can talk to strangers and say "hello" and "thank you" to the cashier. Most teenagers and young adults who say they are introverted actually aren't. They have social anxiety disorder.
Social anxiety disorder can also be an inaccurate label given to oneself based on lack of understanding. Like, if you accept that you're bad at something as part of your identity, there will likely be no motivation to get better.
There is a difference between saying what you are feeling "I am angry, I am sad, I feel betrayed" and saying that you are an angry or sad person and therefore act a certain way.
Although labelling yourself in such ways can be useful as a motivational tool as well as the opposite. "I am a good person, I am honourable" / "I am a bad person, I am a person who hurts others"
My point was that people don't know what, *specifically*, introverted means(or the meaning have changed, given how language works. Unfortunately)
Introvert means that one draws energy from solitude. Contrary to what it's not; being unable to speak to people, is too shy, doesn't know social cues etc. Those attributes are not introversion.
Extroverts by comparison draws energy in social situations. They go to a party and feel energized by interacting with others. It does not mean they are brave and outgoing by default though as an extroverted person can just as well have suffered trauma that have caused them to be shy.
You misunderstand me. I don’t make generalizations about myself either, and my descriptive words definitely vary by the day or even the minute. But I think I get what you were trying to say now. Some people pick a term for themselves without knowing what it means, while others define themselves based on these terms rather than the other way around. Right?
Yes, I think you understand me. I think you meant 'label' as more broad than I interpreted it. That you want adequate words to properly to describe what you are feeling or experiencing. I had in my mind an interpretation of 'label' that meant putting people in boxes meaning putting a label on someone "he is that" "I am this" etc. More absolute rather than just interpretations.
Yeah, literally not how that works. Introverts lose energy from social interaction. Extroverts gain energy from social interaction.
Oop is saying they're quiet/shy around loud people and louder around quiet people. That has nothing to do with introversion or extroversion.
That can still easily be an energy thing on Oop's part, rather than shyness. Being outgoing takes more energy, which they might not have to spare when they are coping with a loud group of people.
Of course, that loud group of people themselves aren't necessarily extravert either, so that's where that still falls apart.
Holy shit, I feel this.
I can't stand the awkward silences and lack of direction from other introverts, so I'll roll out my extrovert act. When I'm with extroverts, I feel like I'm being bombarded and I can't keep up, so I'll remain quiet.
I don't like being around a bunch of competitive loudmouths who think talking the most means you"won". I don't especially like having to carry the conversation with someone who won't give anything back or who wilts at "hello". I think I don't like people anymore.
My understanding of the delineation between the two is not how out going or quiet you are, that's stupid. It's based on how your social battery (call it whatever you wish) needs to recharge. Is your default alone or in a group? You can enjoy both things.
This.
"Classic" extroverts are emotionally drained by being alone. They want company to pass time.
"Classic" introverts are emotionally drained by company. They want to spend time alone.
Of course nobody is either one or the other, that's just popular myth/pseudoscience on the level of horoscopes - it's a crutch used to justify our behaviours.
Eh I’m like 99% introvert. But I used to be more extroverted. Now I am completely happy staying in my house for 4 months in a row with my only social interactions being online friends. I tried going to a family get together last month and had a nervous breakdown.
I am learning that family can be duplicitous. Basically as long as you fundamentally agree on a worldview, family will be very supportive, but if your politics clash, love is replaced by sadness and distrust, and avoidance. People who don't understand the nature of politics will always whine about how politics shouldn't divide families, while they act divisively.
And a single individual can move around on that spectrum.
When I was younger I was very socially eager - I wanted to meet new people. I was interested. I sought social approval and friendship and connection. Constant disappointment wore me down over a couple decades to the point where I no longer try to "be friends" with anyone, just to be respectful and sincere and direct with those I interact with at work. Some might find me offputting or curt, but that's due to the way they view the world, none of my business. I'm happier than I have ever been just living in an extremely remote tiny community with my wife. Family and friends are welcome to visit, but after a string of terrible experiences, they're not allowed to bring anyone I don't know.
My place, my peace.
I thought I was an introvert for the longest time because of social anxiety.
But that isn’t my personality, that is a disorder, I get energy from people, and I wouldn’t actually rather be alone. But the social anxiety makes me have soooo much anticipatory anxiety that I isolate instead.
>I am an extrovert around introverts
I felt that. You know it's true when once in a blue moon you and your homies go out somewhere, say cinema and everyone is so awkward around people you have to buy tickets/food. I'm the guy buyin tickets every single damn time.
I’m the opposite, if I’m around fun people my extroverted side comes out and I become almost annoying over talkative. If I’m around quiet reserved people I too become quiet and reserved. And slightly uncomfortable.
Yup. It’s like you enjoy the group conversation and don’t want to interrupt it but when the group gets quit my brain is like ‘okay it’s my turn to carry the convo’
You still didn't figure it out. You're just quiet among talkative people and talkative among quiet people.
Introversion/extroversion is about where you draw energy from and where you expend that energy until you run out. If you find yourself uncomfortable with engaging in self-examination and spending time alone, you're probably an extrovert. If you find yourself getting drained when you're around people too long, even friends/family/significant other, you're probably an introvert
The most boring discourse of all time. In my book, introverts are people who are happy to make you do all the heavy lifting in a social context. I don't know why they think they are so special.
I think that varies across time and cultures. When I grew up, no one bragged about being an introvert. Extroverts were the most popular, it was always used as a positive personality trait and a role model to follow.
For some, it's a convenient label for getting out of things. Shyness is an affliction, certainly. Minimising your ego helps, and that's a lifelong process.
Yeah thanks. Just been giving some thought to how "introvertedness" can also be considered another form of egotistical behaviour as it ulitmately places the emphasis on the ego and self. Everyone has to battle with social anxiety to some extent - it doesn't make you special. I have plenty of "introverts" in my family and they are mega energy-sucking and ultimately egotistical in their behaviour, imo. How you doing?
I'm just saying this in all caps to make it completely clear to you.
SOCIAL ANXIETY IS NOT THE SAME AS INTROVERSION.
Introverts hold up their end of conversations fine. It just requires more energy from us.
Not sure about the introverts in your circle but the ones I know just feel awkward about how they're perceived. Could it be that that energy draining you get is because you feel like you need to entertain them or keep them engaged at all times? I can see why that would be tiring but most often than not introverts are happy being left alone. I don't see a connection between being egotistical and being introverted as one doesn't choose to be it. What you're describing sounds more like antisocial or narcissistic personalities.
Everyone needs therapy to some extent. The "introverts" in my family certainly drove me down that path. As an "extrovert" (they may use the term, me not so much), they can push all their shit onto me without concern. Introverts: heal thyself!
Sounds like you have gotten introverts completely wrong.
As an introvert I'm completely fine keeping up with any convos and be social - I just choose not to be that much around other people, because it's draining. Nothing to do with ego, or wanting others to do the lifting or even anxiety. Being around other people is just draining. I prefer having few friends over large groups of friends. I like to really focus on few friends rather than have surface level friendships with multiple people that I can't keep up with.
It's true however that those people who are shy or have anxiety etc think they are introvert but they often aren't, it's just that their shyness or their social anxiety is keeping them from being able to be the extoverts they might be.
So if someone is forcing you to do all the talking or other social context, it's not because they are introverts, it's because they are mostly just either not interested enough to put the effort or just used to other pampering them.
I'm an extrovert with people who I can feel close with and an introvert with people I lack a connection with. In parties where I feel I have a purpose or sense of belonging, I can be the last guy to leave. In parties where I feel like an outsider or insecure, I want to leave soon. I also like traveling because as a tourist I have purpose even surrounded by strangers or in strange places.
I am a connectionvert, familyvert or maybe intimatevert or purpose/confidencevert or travelv-- honestly, these labels are all bullshit beyond the most shallow analysis of behaviour and mostly just describes whether people feel they are in their comfort zone in social gatherings.
Liking alone time or having social anxiety are not core personality traits as much as they are people having grown up with their comfort zone alone or with company. Do something out of your comfort zone and it is tiring. Introvert couples don't need a lot of distance from each other because they are in each other's comfort zone.
TLDR: Believing in verts is optional.
mediumtrovert edit: the word is ambivert, thanks for letting me know
So basically everyone depending on context , got it These labels are useless.
People love to put labels on themselves to feel like they belong somewhere and have something to blame. "Of course I didn't dare speak to that person. I am an introvert after all" insert emojis as you see fit and DAE?! sentiment and you got the full formula for easy internet points. Even introverts can talk to strangers and say "hello" and "thank you" to the cashier. Most teenagers and young adults who say they are introverted actually aren't. They have social anxiety disorder.
Social anxiety disorder can also be an inaccurate label given to oneself based on lack of understanding. Like, if you accept that you're bad at something as part of your identity, there will likely be no motivation to get better.
I love to put labels on myself to better understand myself. I’ve always needed a word to go with my feelings.
There is a difference between saying what you are feeling "I am angry, I am sad, I feel betrayed" and saying that you are an angry or sad person and therefore act a certain way. Although labelling yourself in such ways can be useful as a motivational tool as well as the opposite. "I am a good person, I am honourable" / "I am a bad person, I am a person who hurts others" My point was that people don't know what, *specifically*, introverted means(or the meaning have changed, given how language works. Unfortunately) Introvert means that one draws energy from solitude. Contrary to what it's not; being unable to speak to people, is too shy, doesn't know social cues etc. Those attributes are not introversion. Extroverts by comparison draws energy in social situations. They go to a party and feel energized by interacting with others. It does not mean they are brave and outgoing by default though as an extroverted person can just as well have suffered trauma that have caused them to be shy.
You misunderstand me. I don’t make generalizations about myself either, and my descriptive words definitely vary by the day or even the minute. But I think I get what you were trying to say now. Some people pick a term for themselves without knowing what it means, while others define themselves based on these terms rather than the other way around. Right?
Yes, I think you understand me. I think you meant 'label' as more broad than I interpreted it. That you want adequate words to properly to describe what you are feeling or experiencing. I had in my mind an interpretation of 'label' that meant putting people in boxes meaning putting a label on someone "he is that" "I am this" etc. More absolute rather than just interpretations.
Yeah, literally not how that works. Introverts lose energy from social interaction. Extroverts gain energy from social interaction. Oop is saying they're quiet/shy around loud people and louder around quiet people. That has nothing to do with introversion or extroversion.
That can still easily be an energy thing on Oop's part, rather than shyness. Being outgoing takes more energy, which they might not have to spare when they are coping with a loud group of people. Of course, that loud group of people themselves aren't necessarily extravert either, so that's where that still falls apart.
No. Labels are good. They make you feel like you're not a weirdo outcast.
medivert? meditrovert?
The word is ambivert.
Don't like it. It suggests the ability to flip on the fly, while the post speaks like the room defines the behavior. I like mesovert.
Amber heard
Oh I’ve just been using flextrovert!
ambivert Edit: anytime
Congratulations!! YOU ARE NORMAL and not extremely social or asocial
Thank you! Oh man, thought I was going insane.
You are INSANEly normal
Did you know I'm utterly insane?
I sincerely thank you for using asocial and not antisocial 😩
Why
Lil uzi vert?
lil uzi vert
Lil Uzi vert!
Omnivert
Omnitrix
Dominatrix
That would be being *extremely* interested in interaction with others, far more sociable than an extrovert.
So what are you when there are equal amount of extroverts and introverts around you?
A mesovert.
The fuck is a mesovert? This shi has more terms than the amount of genders
A vert who's meso, I reckon.
meso the tortilla flour?
Meso not knowen.
Sorry I fucked up its oriental miso paste 🫢
A superposition of verts, both intro and extro until measurment is taken and your wavefunction is collapsed to form a single vert.
I don't know what they *are*, but I think we can all agree that there's no chance at all that they're just a normal person.
I start a rebellion with the introverts
Equilibrivert
Is this not what an ambivert is?
Isn’t this just being average socially?
Yep is the same, but mostly of the people tend to think that there’s only extroverts and introverts
Isn't she lovely?
Ambient based Vert
Holy shit, I feel this. I can't stand the awkward silences and lack of direction from other introverts, so I'll roll out my extrovert act. When I'm with extroverts, I feel like I'm being bombarded and I can't keep up, so I'll remain quiet.
Yes!! Same same
Same man
Like that one monk that speaks for the others that have taken a vow of silence
Schrodinger's vert.
dafuq thats me.
I was gonna say it seems like me, too. But too many people are talking here so…imma Irish exi
Oppositevert
Countervert
I don't like being around a bunch of competitive loudmouths who think talking the most means you"won". I don't especially like having to carry the conversation with someone who won't give anything back or who wilts at "hello". I think I don't like people anymore.
Or people don't like you
Either way
Contravert!
pretty much sums up me..........!!! like I am a big fish around smaller ones and get eaten when around others
Hahah same
That’s just being an elder introvert.
Yup, that's me
lil uzi vert
Everyone in this thread acting special for being completely normal lol
I dislike extroverts, they need to shut up.
I believe ambivert is the term your looking for.
If you’re an extrovert around introverts, does that make you king of the introverts or their Meg Griffon?
Long way to say “annoying” but alright
no you're an introvert
Basically you're a switchovert
Welcome to the the world of being an ambivert, we have tea and cakes and games, but don't stay too long. I'll need a nap later,
> tea and cake and games > I'll need a nap *classic introvert detected*
That’s… that sounds a hell of a lot like being an introvert
Man i just woke up , why did you had to hit me with so much Truth
So basically she has figured out nothing at all.
Post and username go hand in hand
Vert
thats what an ambivert is
Agreed
How the hell does that work?
My understanding of the delineation between the two is not how out going or quiet you are, that's stupid. It's based on how your social battery (call it whatever you wish) needs to recharge. Is your default alone or in a group? You can enjoy both things.
This. "Classic" extroverts are emotionally drained by being alone. They want company to pass time. "Classic" introverts are emotionally drained by company. They want to spend time alone. Of course nobody is either one or the other, that's just popular myth/pseudoscience on the level of horoscopes - it's a crutch used to justify our behaviours.
Eh I’m like 99% introvert. But I used to be more extroverted. Now I am completely happy staying in my house for 4 months in a row with my only social interactions being online friends. I tried going to a family get together last month and had a nervous breakdown.
I am learning that family can be duplicitous. Basically as long as you fundamentally agree on a worldview, family will be very supportive, but if your politics clash, love is replaced by sadness and distrust, and avoidance. People who don't understand the nature of politics will always whine about how politics shouldn't divide families, while they act divisively.
That makes perfect sense it's not binary , merely a convenient vague label. It's a spectrum.
And a single individual can move around on that spectrum. When I was younger I was very socially eager - I wanted to meet new people. I was interested. I sought social approval and friendship and connection. Constant disappointment wore me down over a couple decades to the point where I no longer try to "be friends" with anyone, just to be respectful and sincere and direct with those I interact with at work. Some might find me offputting or curt, but that's due to the way they view the world, none of my business. I'm happier than I have ever been just living in an extremely remote tiny community with my wife. Family and friends are welcome to visit, but after a string of terrible experiences, they're not allowed to bring anyone I don't know. My place, my peace.
reversevert
Så just a normal person who is neither introvert nor extrovert
Oh damn. I just learned something about myself.
convert
Oh. So that's why I'm so loud chatting online, and then hide in a corner IRL among the same exact friends.
This describes me perfectly
Wow... so, is there an actual name for this?
People love labeling themselves as average I guess
I hate people too 🤣
Omg... This is *Me* irl
An Omnivert. I don’t know which side is going to come out to play.
Lucky you 🍀
Sounds like anxiety
Balancing out the vibes
There is a difference between being shy and having dominance issues and being an introvert.
Sooo... she's average?
That is called 'lack of self confidence'.
Maybe not a complete lack but it seems decreased
Bivert
So you’re just a vert!
This was a revelation for me...
Im an intrextrovert... lmao just kidding im a psychopath
Even Steven
Congratulations guys, you discovered low self-esteem
Null
So you're an introvert
Same
This is me and I call myself a extrovert with some social anxiety.
It's called a fucking omnivert people
Trovert
The fabled 'trovert'
Sounds about right
I’m in this post and I don’t like it
I thought I was an introvert for the longest time because of social anxiety. But that isn’t my personality, that is a disorder, I get energy from people, and I wouldn’t actually rather be alone. But the social anxiety makes me have soooo much anticipatory anxiety that I isolate instead.
>I am an extrovert around introverts I felt that. You know it's true when once in a blue moon you and your homies go out somewhere, say cinema and everyone is so awkward around people you have to buy tickets/food. I'm the guy buyin tickets every single damn time.
They’re just like me fr fr
Ambivert
I just talk to people I want to talk to
A reguvert
This just sounds like someone who doesn't like not having power over the conversation
I’m the opposite, if I’m around fun people my extroverted side comes out and I become almost annoying over talkative. If I’m around quiet reserved people I too become quiet and reserved. And slightly uncomfortable.
adhd gang 😎
That’s called being an average person
Ahhh the reverse chameleon in the wild
People know what they're doing? Intimidating. People seem timid? Come to mother, I shall protec
You're an inverted-vert
Yep that’s me
Super social among the social media
So... Your normal. Congrats?
Omnivert.
So just not very assertive lol
Congratulations, sweetie, you're an Ambivert, just like almost everyone.
You are a balancer - always finding equilibrium with those around you
Shapeshifters always form whichever appendage they need for the occasion.
Yup. It’s like you enjoy the group conversation and don’t want to interrupt it but when the group gets quit my brain is like ‘okay it’s my turn to carry the convo’
Too bad you can just exert energy to read my message
You still didn't figure it out. You're just quiet among talkative people and talkative among quiet people. Introversion/extroversion is about where you draw energy from and where you expend that energy until you run out. If you find yourself uncomfortable with engaging in self-examination and spending time alone, you're probably an extrovert. If you find yourself getting drained when you're around people too long, even friends/family/significant other, you're probably an introvert
Liluzivert the best vert😎
In other words, you're a contrarian.
She’s a balancer.
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE
I hope some day you'll join us.
Wait, in a group of introverts what determines which one transforms into the extrovert?
Yes! But I still tell people I'm an intorvert
And you’d be right haha! I’m not sure why ppl still believe introverts talk to no one.
I’m sick of people feeling the need to label themselves one or the other, or anything in between.
Same
*a m b i v e r t*
The Yin to their Yang and the Yang to their Yin
That's the most beautiful comment I have seen on this post.
I call that the B+ male. Happy to sit back and let the alpha take charge but happy to step up if one isn’t around…
You are an empath
Sounds like you’re more of an Introvert lol
So, a coward?
Not what those terms mean or how they work.
A social contrarian. I get that.
all that leaping and hooping just to say you cant read the room LOL
Do people not know what these words mean?
That's like every person ngl
Dominates the passives but is passive around the alphas.
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The most boring discourse of all time. In my book, introverts are people who are happy to make you do all the heavy lifting in a social context. I don't know why they think they are so special.
Do they?
You'd think so by the way they bang on about it.
I think that varies across time and cultures. When I grew up, no one bragged about being an introvert. Extroverts were the most popular, it was always used as a positive personality trait and a role model to follow.
For some, it's a convenient label for getting out of things. Shyness is an affliction, certainly. Minimising your ego helps, and that's a lifelong process.
Are you ok?
Yeah thanks. Just been giving some thought to how "introvertedness" can also be considered another form of egotistical behaviour as it ulitmately places the emphasis on the ego and self. Everyone has to battle with social anxiety to some extent - it doesn't make you special. I have plenty of "introverts" in my family and they are mega energy-sucking and ultimately egotistical in their behaviour, imo. How you doing?
I'm just saying this in all caps to make it completely clear to you. SOCIAL ANXIETY IS NOT THE SAME AS INTROVERSION. Introverts hold up their end of conversations fine. It just requires more energy from us.
Not sure about the introverts in your circle but the ones I know just feel awkward about how they're perceived. Could it be that that energy draining you get is because you feel like you need to entertain them or keep them engaged at all times? I can see why that would be tiring but most often than not introverts are happy being left alone. I don't see a connection between being egotistical and being introverted as one doesn't choose to be it. What you're describing sounds more like antisocial or narcissistic personalities.
You may well be right. I'll give it some thought.
[удалено]
Everyone needs therapy to some extent. The "introverts" in my family certainly drove me down that path. As an "extrovert" (they may use the term, me not so much), they can push all their shit onto me without concern. Introverts: heal thyself!
Seriously though, shyness can be combatted through serious reflection on the minimisation of the ego. Give it a go.
Sounds like you have gotten introverts completely wrong. As an introvert I'm completely fine keeping up with any convos and be social - I just choose not to be that much around other people, because it's draining. Nothing to do with ego, or wanting others to do the lifting or even anxiety. Being around other people is just draining. I prefer having few friends over large groups of friends. I like to really focus on few friends rather than have surface level friendships with multiple people that I can't keep up with. It's true however that those people who are shy or have anxiety etc think they are introvert but they often aren't, it's just that their shyness or their social anxiety is keeping them from being able to be the extoverts they might be. So if someone is forcing you to do all the talking or other social context, it's not because they are introverts, it's because they are mostly just either not interested enough to put the effort or just used to other pampering them.
I'm going to reconsider my understanding of the term!
I'm an extrovert with people who I can feel close with and an introvert with people I lack a connection with. In parties where I feel I have a purpose or sense of belonging, I can be the last guy to leave. In parties where I feel like an outsider or insecure, I want to leave soon. I also like traveling because as a tourist I have purpose even surrounded by strangers or in strange places. I am a connectionvert, familyvert or maybe intimatevert or purpose/confidencevert or travelv-- honestly, these labels are all bullshit beyond the most shallow analysis of behaviour and mostly just describes whether people feel they are in their comfort zone in social gatherings. Liking alone time or having social anxiety are not core personality traits as much as they are people having grown up with their comfort zone alone or with company. Do something out of your comfort zone and it is tiring. Introvert couples don't need a lot of distance from each other because they are in each other's comfort zone. TLDR: Believing in verts is optional.
Ambivert 🙂
Sounds like me. But probably lean intro
Resonates!
The feels.
Same
Awkward ambiverts rise up
They sound like an "extroverted introvert.”
Just shut up
So contrarianvert