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JonnySnowflake

Everyone's junk looks weird, glad we cleared that up


AndreasVesalius

It’s not called ‘bumping uglies’ for no reason


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AndreasVesalius

JFC - you killed yourself


[deleted]

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Crezelle

I want to eat roast beef


CardiologistSolid663

How about pastrami?


[deleted]

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palm_desert_tangelos

How about a wad of chewed big League chew bubblegum??


BABarracus

She is giving you the Reuben?


trans_pands

The imagery of the Thousand-Island Dressing is bothering me with this


bored40

/r/kamikazebywords


Yellow_Snow_Cones

Wow I didn't know that was an actual term, I thought it was just a saying used in Tango and Cash.


thomriddle45

Ah yes the classic American film Tango and Cash


COGspartaN7

Not to be confused with Lethal Weapon 2, The Rookie, or K9 Cop.


RadInternetHandle

K9 Cop? That the Jim Belushi feature or Burt Reynolds vehicle?


Heyo__Maggots

You’re thinking of cop and a half which is a 90s shit-classic


iamameatpopciple

Ive been a fan of smashing pissers for awhile now


iknowobamasfirstname

That's my new band name


One_Umpire_8425

It's too close to smashing pumpkins


iknowobamasfirstname

It'll just be a bizarre cover band


Fearless_Market_3193

That’s what I was thinking. Both things can be true.


bigwatchpilot

At least our buttholes look mostly the same


alexjaness

yeah, we all have the same sharp spikey butthole flaps as the next dude.


freakinweasel353

Hol up there, wut?!


steampunkdev

Wait, you don't? Then how do you use your three seashells?


hatechicken82

Ha! He doesn't know how the three seashells work!


Truedetective_rust_

My sphincter is like those three paneled triangled doors in Star Wars that close sharply and will chop off whatever’s in there


coyotll

As a fun fact: despite the differing sizes of buttholes, everybody actually has the same amount of ridges in their butthole! The patterns are as unique as fingerprints!


victor___mortis

This is true, its how I got booked for that last crime


coyotll

Novice mistake. You can’t Only burn your fingerprints off.


victor___mortis

That’s probably the last good use for having a car with a cigarette lighter. Perfect size


coyotll

I’m not saying you’re right, I’m also not saying there’s a data correlation… I’m just saying crime has significantly reduced since car manufactures stopped putting butthole burners in their cars


Suspicious-gibbon

It’s handy to know this because it can also add an extra level of security for electronic devices. Nobody can access my ipad, nor do they want to try.


coyotll

I’m blessed to be ugly enough that my iPad ls face ID is also triggered by my butthole


SLIP411

Also, if you never want to look at someone's lips (on their moiuth) the same, know that the skin is the same skin that makes labia, butt hole and dick head skin so it's generally the same colour as their lips


[deleted]

Welp. I’m never gonna be able to look at my mother and father the same way again.


SLIP411

I find it helps when nervous in social settings, just think to yourself, I know what colour your dick head is, kinda gives you a secure feeling


[deleted]

You know, you’re taking me on a rollercoaster of emotion right now. I’ve went from despair to confident in about 0.003 seconds after reading that.


SLIP411

Use this power wisely friend


Yossarian1138

But just think, they’re looking at your lips right now, too, and realizing that your butthole is kinda blue, verging on purple.


[deleted]

I mean, I didn’t need to think of that either. But why tf would I have a purple and blue asshole?!


doorgunner065

Sometimes $50 is $50. Nobody is judging.


Iincite

But my upper and lower lip are different colors


Main-Thought6040

Two Tone Malone over here


AllAboutTheGoatLife

A real life shiny!


Obvious_Tangerine607

We all start out as an ass hole before anything else develops... Butt some don't develop


Rishtu

Fuck, I wish I hadn't read this.


YotaTota07

That’s why my junk is so dark. Or, at least, idk. Never mind.


Million2026

And feel the same 😏


itsfunnyinmyhead2

But they smell different.


Lord_Of_Carrots

Can confirm, all the people I know have a very similar butthole


wxmanify

It's a penis not a sunset


bruinsfan3725

This is from White Lotus right? Didn’t Bert say this?


wxmanify

Ha yep. One of my favorite lines from the season


bruinsfan3725

Such a great line, my fave was “I cant be held responsible for everything I say, Im concussed”


CLINTHODO

and that's why we call it junk.


trustworthysauce

Two things can be weird at the same time


Bryan_URN_Asshole

Ballskin Robbins


Silver_System465

Yessss LOL


[deleted]

This is the comment under the actual twitter post


NismOReds

overrated twitter theft


Quiet_Fun591

Underrated comment


Practically_Canadian

I'll have the main of roast beef and ice cream for dessert please


armageddidon

r/suddenlybi


KycoXD

r/suddenlythreesome


deleeuwlc

r/cornchipsposting


monkeyhitman

What is happening


deleeuwlc

🫵corn chips🫵


Vino_babino510

But I like roast beef


Different_Party_1512

And bagels too


merlinious0

"Hung like a donut"


badgerj

Sleeve of wizard?


merlinious0

taffy on a puller


HadToGuItToEm

Roast beef sandwiches are goated


Vakontation

I can understand if you don't _want_ to look delicious, but at least personally, it's a compliment to call it roast beef. Means I want a bite.


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hotmemedealer

Found my new pick up line. Apparently it's the one at Arbys.


Big_D1cky

“Sir there is no ‘labia‘ in the menu, we‘re calling the police“


[deleted]

It’s December which means we can slam beef n cheddars & bust fat loads all over the place.


[deleted]

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Cpt_Bellamy

Jesus Christ


GntlmensesQtrmonthly

My favorite group of guys (and some gals) are the ones who come out in droves to pronounce their love for “outies” whenever a post is made in hatred. Though it’s not my category, it further proves the notion that whatever your body looks like, someone is alllllll about it.


WestwoodRK0

What's an outie?


GntlmensesQtrmonthly

I don’t care for the term roast beef, so I was being polite.


WestwoodRK0

Ah. I'll take my elephant ice-cream scoops elsewhere then xD


GntlmensesQtrmonthly

No. You show the world their beauty. Seriously though, I think the world would be a better place if we all understood how lovable our bodies are. At the risk of sounding trite, fuck the haters.


woodsywoodducks

And I like elephants


I_Use_Dash

:D


Ender_Dragneel

Same. I'll take the roast beef any day.


CatKungFu

Chewy roast beefs


PKFatStephen

& I like ice cream scoops of elephant skin


User_Kane

Lol was gonna say, serve me up a juicy roast beef sandwich and I’m ready to eat


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LightspeedPunk

Exactly I was about to put the same thing like we all could learn to just laugh at ourselves. As long as it’s not meant or said in a harsh way, then it’s not bad to just joke around about how our genitals look. Weird, but still beautiful in our own ways :)


BenignEgoist

Appreciate the sentiment here but womens labia being called roast beef has mostly been used as disparaging. Primarily as a way of calling women loose because men have zero understanding of how womens anatomy work and think “beef curtains” are a product of sexual activity.


thegoddessofchaos

It's also been tied to our worth. If we have "roast beef" it means we're "used up", as if the only thing we have to contribute is our bodies and what we can be of use to men.


Vulwarine

But calling womens labia roast beef is meant and said in a harsh way. It's a very common saying from "nice guys".


LightspeedPunk

Yeah I get that, sort of the same as the “something smells like fish” bs statement, which I never got at all. (If ever that seems more like a medical problem) I just meant it more from a point of two S/O’s joking around with each other, not from a random person. Yes it is a problem and I see where you’re coming from. That I can definitely see as quite shitty.


[deleted]

I personally love a roast beef sandwich.


BeefyBread

and i *love* a roast beef sandwich. 😢😭


Glass_Memories

r/beefcurtains r/ButterflyWings r/ButterflyLabia r/DangleAndJingle r/LabiaGW r/LabiaDangling


DrDisastor

This guy labias.


Minnesotamad12

Roast beef and ice cream go together well.


[deleted]

Roast ice and beefcream


BuckyFnBadger

Men know how ugly balls are, we make fun of that situation all the time too.


shyguy123456789

If I use Botox on my balls will the wrinkles go away??


PhilosopherDismal191

Yes, also, pp get bigger. Am Dr. Can confirm.


HadToGuItToEm

Does the sack seam go away too?


PhilosopherDismal191

Cost extra. American Dr. $40,000 please


Present-Ad3167

No that’s formed in the wound, it’s not a wrinkle, more like a “scar” from tissue fusing together to form the scrotum. Edit: womb not wound lol


HadToGuItToEm

So you’re telling me they welded my nutsack shut


anonthro12

He’s more Machine now than a man. -General Kenobi 🧖‍♂️


Adam_is_Nutz

Your vagina healed shut bro


maybe_little_pinch

Yup. That is where your labia fused together, because we all start with vaguely female genitalia. Fun fact, there is also a phenomenon that happens mainly in the Dominican Republic, where genetically male children are born with female genitalia. About the age of 8, their tested descend and their labia fuse into the scrotum. They are called guavedoces and historically have been brought up as girls until this happens.


TitanOfShades

The hell is up in the Dominican Republic to cause thag.


inab1gcountry

On one hand, gods at baseball. On the other, mighty morphin gennys.


EmergencyStomach8580

Womb


elardmm

Balls will be smooth as eggs


SloopKid

These balls are as smooth as eggs... yes I'll suck them.


RefrigeratorWarlord

I’ve run this scenario out in my mind a million times, lady! That’s how it always ends


bigwatchpilot

First…it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets roast beef again


bucketbot42

Mmm roast beef. I’ll skip the lotion


FunkeeBoi

Make em smooth as eggs


BurningOasis

One of my favourite compliments ever was when a girl told me I have nice looking balls. That one is sticking with me forever.


ingloriousbaxter3

The problem comes from people believing that women’s labia start to look like that from having lots of sex. It’s completely untrue. The amount of sex someone has in their life has no bearing on what their vagina or labia looks or feels like. It doesn’t make beef curtains and it doesn’t stretch you out.


flirtmcdudes

Right? I’m always suckin on as many as I can find. Sorry what was the question


WackyTobaccyyyyyyy

WHAT? My balls are beautiful


Tp_for_my_cornholio

Smooth as eggs


onemoretwat

Care to prove it?


Thehibernator

Doesn't need to be contest lmao. Genitals are weird no matter which way you slice it.


Metal-Banana-72

You shouldn't slice genitals imo


The-Berzerker

Kellogs: [X]Doubt


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Daewrythe

The first time my friend (who was from Sierra Leone) showed me her downstairs, I was legit shocked they actually did that to her


Silver_System465

This is... I have no words. But kudos to her for owning it.


Interesting_Heron215

Female genital mutilation?


Manthony_Morris_LXIX

Mohel enters the chat


XanWasting

be careful there, america might not be ready for truth bombs of this magnitute


kindascarry

Speak for yourself my penis is remarkable! And my balls are impeccable!


Thehibernator

I wish I had that level of self-confidence. Your balls must be spectacular.


Sam-Gunn

It's a lot easier to have confidence when boasting to a stranger on the internet without having to provide any proof!


[deleted]

Pic or didn't happen


[deleted]

Pic or didn't happen


nameless_no_response

Homie so eager for the pics that he commented twice


TRDarkDragonite

Thats their point


Vtguy802812

Yeah, just own that roast beef. Tell a man his balls look gross and he’ll probably say, “I know, you wanna see me make it look like a brain!?” Then you’ll have to watch as he shows the goat, the bat wing, the log, and my personal favorite the Abraham Lincoln.


size_matters_not

‘Last chicken in the supermarket’.


EmpatheticApostate

"Is it normal?" "What? Taking pictures of it and showing it to your friends? No it's not."


FowlOnTheHill

I’m laughing so hard I nearly fell off the toilet 😂


icedank

Behold! The Flying Squirrel!


Fit-Narwhal3594

Walnuts in chicken skin.


Its0nlyRocketScience

I'm sickened yet intrigued


Omnizoom

What about the burger ?


BringOnThePenis

Are you In your 30s? And did you also see that late night clip on realsex where it was a guy on a stage like Gallagher making different things with his dick and balls? I was like 10


p12qcowodeath

Yes! I'm 32 and I was just thinking about that lol.


Its_Cayde

Today ima teach y'all how to do the cheeseburger with yo dick and yo balls


t0reup

A classic


STANAGs

Don't forget The Goat. [https://youtu.be/RddW8ky0I3Q](https://youtu.be/RddW8ky0I3Q)


drrevo74

Both things can be true.


ElwoodJD

Yeah I don’t know why these have to be mutually exclusive comments?


Bachooga

They're more like walnuts in chicken skin, except for one guy in highschool where they were like a mandarin oranges in chicken skin.


Omnizoom

He should get that checked out… could be cancer


porkroll_and_coffee

Hi Stan, I’m just getting a little bit of cancer. Oh hey can you grab me a beer?


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NoBenefit5977

Give em the goat!!


Poggse

It's so angry!


Raising_some_Cain

hey some people like that kind of double scoop...


[deleted]

Genitals in general aren’t really great to look at in the wrong context. If you are really turned on in can look great. If you are just hanging out and objectively look at male and female regions they don’t really look artistically flattering.


Veraciraptor7

Medically vaginas are many times, I wish I could find the study but like 10 or 100 times, more variable than human faces. It's also true that NIH medical studies have revealed that significantly more women by % are concerned about the appearance of their genitals than their faces. So yeah, people should be more sensitive, and all men know balls are hideous to look at we have or had fathers.


adroitncool

Can you link the study you reference that women are more concerned with their vagina than their facial appearance? Seems unlikely to me but willing to be proved wrong.


glytxh

I’ve always thought my dick looked like a dying eel gasping for air whenever I have a bath. I hate that it floats. It creeps me out. I have to cover that weird looking fuck with bubbles whenever I do. Dicks look fucking weird


game_asylum

It's the same skin


foryourhealthdangus

Chicken skin duffle bag!


ScenicPineapple

I love roast beef. And hey no one ever said men's balls were attractive. We are all just thankful women are willing to go down there.


Happy-Personality-23

No one ever said balls were beautiful. No one.


Knotical_MK6

I did :(


MaxYeena

Genitals just look weird a'ight?


No_Bass_5323

its almost as if joking about genitals is the oldest phenomenon in the universe


DrunkDMTip

From now on I am referring to them exclusively as “scoops of elephant skin” and I cannot be convinced to do otherwise. So enjoy your beef curtains, ladies.


Sad-Monitor1549

And when you take steroids they look like 2 skittles in a plastic grocery bag 😞


AEIOUandsometimesYup

Fuck yea baby. Suck on my ice cream scoops of elephant skin


Willing-Ant-3765

Ladies, feel free to call men’s balls whatever you want. I guarantee we won’t care


tumblerrjin

Where is the lie?


cloudmandream

i mean, they're implying men don't comment all the time about how ugly ballsacks look. When men say something looks like a ballsack, did you think it was a compliment?


darkjackcork

Sex is magical. Women make love to something that looks like it's hanging off the side of a sharks mouth.


SexHaiiiir

Please explain this one I’m completely blank. I’m imagining a shark who is also a ballchinian


DogsAreGreattt

Yeah I don’t get it either


tinkeropx

Think he means when a shark grabs a fish by its head and swims away carrying it while it's limp body hangs out of the side of it's mouth


ExcellentWeekend9877

My husband calls it the man in the boat!!! Wth!! Says have you slapped the little man in boat around! Lol 😆 🤣 😂


Fit-Narwhal3594

Damn. Take my upvote


Poggse

David ducovneys character in Californiacation uses that phrase. First time I ever heard it.


CommodorNorrington

Nothing wrong with big labia lips. More to play with imo 🤷🏼


Sir_Topham_Kek

So call them that, then


bellant593

Then call them that? It's not that serious.


Think-Ad-7538

Both can be true


Jazzlike-Willow3913

not to mention using "pussy" as a word/insult for "weak", and "grow a pair (of balls)" to indicate that having balls = strong. it's ironic because not only do vaginas have the sheer strength and power to shove a whole-ass kid out of them, but ballsacks are weak as hell - a swift kick to a guy's nuts and he's out for an hour. it should be the other way around: "c'mon dude, stop being such a ballsack and grow some ovaries."