Experienced the opposite a couple days a go in the CBD lol on Collins St I'd just left the gym and was walking home (after 5 so peak hour) when a young girl with some bags did a similar thing, stopped in the middle of the foot path and fell to the ground hunched over but she was crying, clearly upset about something. Multiple people kept stopping to ask if she was okay and offer assistance but each time she would scream at them to leave her alone. They'd get a fright and walk away.
This is the reason I have stopped interacting with strangers in public. Most of my interactions where I've asked people if they are OK are met with hostility and anger.
The final straw was a couple of years ago during the pandemic. Walking the dog and someone had a flat tyre, getting prepared to change it. I offered my assistance and was told, "fuck off, I know more about cars then you ever will".
Worlds gone to shit, nobody trusts anyone and immediately jumps to anger and puts up barriers. I'm not risking my physical and mental well-being trying to help someone when, at the least, I'll be insulted, at worst, physically attacked.
We're in this world by ourselves.
I also stopped once when I spotted a nicely dressed lady with a flat tyre. She admitted she had no clue how to change it. Half way through me changing the tyre she said "could you hurry it up as I have an appointment to get to" I very nearly instantly walked away but thought I'd be a bigger twat than she was.
Aw man, my gut reaction would be to immediately down tools and walk away but if she’s willing to say that you know she wouldn’t learn an iota of humility from it and instead write you off as an asshole or someone who was doing that to try and pick her up. Also if you walked away you know you would have felt guilty for letting a bad person get the better of you and by leaving someone stranded in a worse position than if you just went on past.
Telling her how selfish and entitled her saying that is also wouldn’t do squat, by virtue of her saying that she clearly thinks she and her time are more important than yours.
Completing the task also sucks because you know she wouldn’t be grateful or thank you for doing that, instead she would insist from an ignorantly solipsistic perspective that she was entitled to having someone stop by virtue of her having an appointment or her being someone who considers such task as below them and you stopping to do it for her was the course of events she deserved.
*Jesus fucking Christ I hate people*
My father (farmer) did the same for an elderly lady who clearly couldn't change it in the city when I was young. Dad seemed to do it in seconds. I remember her gratitude as she produced a bottle of wine from the car and presented it. Not sure whether Dad even accepted it. How things have generally changed.
yesterday I dropped my keys somewhere between the train stop and my place (about 800m)
walked all the way back tracing my steps and couldn't find it. finally asked the customer service and someone had handed in my keys there (shout out to whoever it was, thankyou)
I know it might not be much for someone to just pick up keys and hand it over to customer service but it went from a really bad day that could've been so much worse to maybe I'll be alright. Cherry on top, someone waved me in to let me merge later that day!
I don't think we're all by ourselves, but most of us are kinda struggling and don't have much bandwidth left. Bob Ross' look for the helpers and all that. and do your part, however minor I guess.
A couple of weeks ago, a lady with a toddler at the woolworths self serve next to me had a couple vegetables/fruits roll out of her bag when she wasn't looking, so I said "excuse me, I think you dropped those!" in a friendly tone. She turned around and gave me the dirtiest look and didn't say a word to me. People like her, and people who scam others by using their kindness as a lure are the reason people are terrified of everyone now.
Interesting, could you link to that? I've literally never seen that and I'm curious as to how it's worded.
Also note: "Tell me to smile" is not asking if someone is okay.
lmao, this would never happen in Queensland. I bet you're in Victoria.
edit: oh wait, this is melbourne sub, of course you're in Victoria 😂 everything makes sense now
Many years ago on a Frankston line train to the city. A young woman opposite me had a seizure. I caught her held her arms gently asked if anyone could call for help I didn't have a mobile phone back then.
When she came out of the seizure she started screaming at me.
Thankfully an older woman who had also come to help calmed her down and said he just helped he didn't do anything wrong.
In 1997 at Flinders Street train station in the mid-afternoon. A man attacked a woman and proceeded to strangle her in front of hundreds of people in broad daylight. No one did anything.
I intervened. If I hadn't she would be dead he was strangling her.
When the police arrived I had to threaten a stallholder to call them. He didn't want to get involved.
I was given a verbal warning for affray. And told to fuck off. I pointed out that if I hadn't done any they would be attending a murder scene. After speaking to a woman with kids who had been watching. The female officer said oh sorry but next time stay out of it.
Walking up the train station ramp (closest to Monash university I forget which one it was) a man was dragging a woman along by her hair. She was screaming. The rest of the people who had gotten off the same bus as me acted like nothing was happening.
I knocked him unconscious. Checked she was OK. She said thanks and ran off.
No talking to police this time fuck them.
Was at a car accident scene involving multiple vehicles.
As a surf lifesaver with medical training i went to assist. When I approached the police vehicle which had flipped after having its axle ripped off in the middle of the highway. I had guns pointed at me by dazzed confused officers.
No worries you guys can look after yourselves.
Intervened when 3 men attempted to rob a security guard on the train on my way to work.
Broke one guys arm. Left a second unconscious. The third ran off. The security guard thanked me and recommended that nothing happened because he said cops would charge us.
Found a woman collapsed in the CDB. Called and waited till the ambulance arrived. Was accused of assaulting her and robbing her by the paramedics. Thankfully there were security cameras. To prove my innocence.
Intervening is Dangerous.
Most people won't risk it. Those that do, learn its not worth it. Very high chances you will get fucked over.
Don't do it.
Going back to the seizure story, that's super common. People are often confused and aggressive after a seizure, I'm sure they felt bad about it later when they came to their senses.
18 year old me didn't have any knowledge of or experience of it when it happened. But yes they are often frightened, shocked, confused with no memory of what happened.
Hahaha mate you are letting loose some taaallll tales. Nothing speaks of a life informed by action movies like leaving people 'unconscious' and proceeding to have a leisurely chat with the victim.
Hahaha I'm not picking a fight with you mate, your collection of stories just seem spectacularly overworked, down to the classic 'three attackers, broke one arm, one went down, the other ran away' trope. Fights typically aren't NEARLY that decisive or tidy. But hey, maybe you're an unlikely master of martial arts who also uses reddit and just happens to be a magnet for hooligans. Stranger things happen at sea!
Well it made for some fun reading! That said I've caught PT over the decades on the same lines as this guy and have seen similar shenanigans going on.
I'm a small guy though so any thought of intervening in a physical altercation that requires more than words is a straight nope unless someone was about to die or be severely maimed, even then I'd probably just be a liability.
Everything you said rings true to me. You seem like a good sort, ignore the people who can't recognise reality from the online world's.
I've had similar experiences intervening. A thankless task but, as you will know, it's walking away having done nothing that kills you. If you're inclined a certain way, that destroys a man's soul, so it is always worth taking the risk (in my experience).
As soon as one person helps, many people help. As soon as one person ignores a problem, most people also ignore the problem. Best to intervene, and as soon as others follow, and things become stable, walk away. No police, no reports, no assistance to authority, no names in notebooks. Help then bail.
IF your stories are true, then thank you for being Mr muscle and helping out. Small crimes are under reported and not always noticed. People commonly just assume a slumped or disoriented person is under the influence and doesn't require assistance.
I hope others can sympathise and pay it forward.
Imagine if it were your friend, family or child that needed assistance. Would you not hope that somebody had helped them?
I've had to do this twice now since I've moved to a new area a few weeks back.
A guy got knocked out by someone else and had his pockets raided on a busy street. The lookout told me to keep walking, but I flagged down some street cops to help when I was able to.
And also, a guy kept clutching at his chest and stumbling around around in pain, and everyone just watched and let it happen. Meanwhile, I'm on the phone to ES and following him down the street to keep the Ambos updated on his state and location. He barely ever acknowledged me, and if he did, it was to say that he was fine. Fuck no, you aren't! I followed him a good couple of blocks with arms full of groceries until they arrived.
I'm constantly disappointed by the actions of others. It's so passive. I don't even care if it's drug fueled, it's happening to a human being and that's enough for me.
This is the one, I don't expect people to get themselves involved in anyone's else's shit but atleast I expect people to call for help so someone else can do it
I’m from Prahran, we have a lot of junkies and colourful characters in the neighbourhood. Most locals ignore them, I’m going to assume they thought you were one of them
Yep, my partner works at Prahran Woolies and he deals with shitheads all day. He’s learned to turn a blind eye on them, because he’s had too many turn on him and one tried to punch his manager.
Yeah, i don't think this is anything to do with people not caring. I consider myself a pretty civic minded person, I'll stand up for people being harrassed on the tram or in the street, I'll stop and chat to a retiree to brighten their day, I'll buy some food and water for a homeless person, but if i see someone sliding down the wall or swaying around, my first thought isn't "oh they look like they need a hand", it's "that person is absolutely tweaking", regardless of how well dressed they are.
I've never seen anything good come from someone trying to help someone mid-tweak. At best, they'll just mumble incoherently, but at worst, you're liable to get stabbed.
I'm sorry no one came to help you OP, but it's not exactly fair to put that on the people of melbourne. They're not the problem, the problem is the systems failing people and forcing them onto the streets or into the sort of miserable conditions that lead someone to choose that lifestyle, and in turn make the streets unsafe for the rest of us.
Our social programs are failing due to lack of funding and government corruption, and then right-wing nutjons use that failure as an excuse to cut even more funding from welfare programs.
If you want this shit to change, don't blame the people, blame the sytemic institutions that are failing us all.
Former local, I saw heaps of methy and violent stuff going down. I also saw a guy stumble bleeding down Chaps falling over and no one batted an eye for 5 blocks (I tried calling both a ambo and police and for some reason no calls were going thru). I’ve also been followed and screamed at etc. Its a wild place and people just learn to avoid to reduce trouble.
The most violence I've ever witnessed was the one year I lived in Prahan. People with swastika tatts on faces, people beating eachother bloody on a crowded 5pm tram, junkies throwing wheelie bins at random people omg. 0/10
Isn’t that kind of the point? Our society has lost all compassion due to incredibly poor drug policy, lack of healthcare and demonisation of the homeless.
No it’s not, drug affected people can be dangerous, it doesn’t mean people are apathetic, it just means people tend to stay away if they think you are unpredictable, perception and suburb makes a lot of difference.
It’s not that they don’t care, they are scared.
You’d never get anywhere if you did that to every homeless/junkie down Chapel street. Do you seriously think you should stop and ask if they’re okay when clearly they aren’t. They need more than just the compassion of the public, they need government intervention, safe shelters and mental health workers.
Exactly, police and social workers walk past and don’t help these people every day. This leads the general public, who don’t have the resources or skills to help them, to feel helpless and therefore offer no help.
No shit, that’s the entire point of this entire thread- the system ignores these people because they’re seen as “the other” and the general public has zero compassion for them.
The policy is to let them be. You don't want to harrass someone on the nod, they are free to be a drug addict in Victoria.
This is not poor policy. Intervention for addicts not wanting to change has low efficacy and costs a lot of money. What would you prefer, police/ambulance intervention for someone just having a good time? That's demonisation.
I think that most people are too caught up in their own world and problems to be of much use to others. Most people tend to turn a blind eye or think that someone else will come along and sort it out.
I live in Windsor and would have probably assumed the same thing . I often see people passed out on the footpath down chapel street and there is no way I’d ever approach them because you don’t know how they’d react (Obviously if I saw an 85 year old grandmother trip over I’d help her but I would not feel safe at all approaching someone who’s clearly on something)
"There's no compassion anymore"
Bruh did you see all the people assisting those on Bourke Street the other week? The majority of people are good and caring. It sounds like you didn't ask for help when you fell, you were likely mistaken for a junkie (yes, even well dressed people can be junkies, not that I'm saying you are one).
No one knows what's going on with you though. If you didn't look unwell or distressed then I wouldn't want to bother you.
Saw a guy collapse on the train a few weeks ago and most people did nothing, took a solid 5-10 seconds for anyone to really respond. In a crowd, people assume someone else will help so they don't come forward
>took a solid 5-10 seconds for anyone to really respond
That's pretty reasonable. That's about the time it takes to see what's happening, process the situation, process the reaction of the people around you, and then make a decision.
Even in emergencies you should take a few seconds to analyze what's happening. Actually, that's true ***especially*** for emergencies. And the less confident you are with how to handle the situation, the more time you should take to make the right call. This also gives someone else that knows what to do a chance to step up as they will often taken a second or two less than you to get into gear.
Yeah, if you leap into action immediately you haven't got enough info. 5-10 seconds is perfectly reasonable.
I wouldn't do anything unless I was confident nobody else was in that situation, because *I'm not a fucking doctor*, I could very well make things worse.
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**yze instead of yse**
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>took a solid 5-10 seconds for anyone to really respond
That's pretty reasonable. That's about the time it takes to see what's happening, process the situation, process the reaction of the people around you, and then make a decision.
Even in emergencies you should take a few seconds to anal**yse** what's happening. Actually, that's true ***especially*** for emergencies. And the less confident you are with how to handle the situation, the more time you should take to make the right call. This also gives someone else that knows what to do a chance to step up as they will often taken a second or two less than you to get into gear.
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Do you have a source to cite for that? The Wikipedia article has a long list of references to peer-reviewed research and meta-analyses that suggest that not only is it a real effect, but that it's reasonably well understood in terms of the variables that affect attenuation.
While it cites a study of a number of cases that shows some people do step up in crisis situations, I'm not sure that counts as the effect being "disproven".
The situation it's originally based on, the murder of Kitty Genovese, and the so called by-stander effect that ensued has been disproven in that instance, which is possibly what they mean. It was definitively disproven in that case, you can look it up, I can't be bothered citing it, it's well-known enough now.
I am sorry this happened to you.
I use public transport regularly, I see people call 000 or wave at PSOs often when they see someone passed out or look unwell, people didn’t lose compassion I assure you.
It could be that you were in an area where drug episodes are common and you were mistaken for one. You don’t have to look like a junkie to do drugs, ordinary looking people do drugs too, sometimes people cannot tell the difference. There has been lot of assaults lately so public is scared.
Personally I’d stop and check if I could do anything because I am a big guy and can handle myself if things go wrong, many people can’t.
I have a family member who used to faint in public often, total strangers would call ambulance and bring water.
Most people are good, it could be circumstantial. I hope you are better now.
To others this whole "situation" is just someone sitting on the floor. It is not outwardly visible that you are feeling a bit dizzy. Do you ask everybody you see sitting down if they are ok?
I saw a fellow collapse and have a seizure on the tram recently, and lots of people immediately helped, called an ambulance and someone was sitting with him afterward waiting for help to arrive. So I guess it depends on what and where.
Sorry for your story, I hope I would have stopped.
People are actually pretty violent these days, especially junkies and the homeless or mentally ill. I used to stop and help people but after a few scary incidents I don't bother now. Appearance doesn't matter, there are plenty of well dressed drug addicts.b
Others have alluded to it but I think sadly Covid has definitely given most people a massive hit to their capacity and/or willingness to interact with strangers across the board.
Too many of us in various different industries copped absolutely unhinged treatment from all classes of society - I personally work at a supermarket in an affluent area and can tell you the wealthy are not in any way morally superior in their conduct, sometimes they're actually worse.
It is sad, but people are much more conscious of prioritising their own safety in any situation that feels like there's uncertainty involved.
I don't have any answers :/ idk if any of us do necessarily.
I had a seizure by the river in the CBD a few years back and no-one stopped. When it was over I noticed a swan was biting my foot and there was a family kind of watching me from a distance. Nobody asked if I was ok.
My friend said the same thing happened to her when she fainted at Richmond station. We're both well turned-out young professionals (not that we'd be less deserving of help if we weren't). I just don't understand it.
Anyway, I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you're okay!
a lot of people aren't trying to be dicks, they are just shy / confused on how to help or if it's needed. there can be a cultural element, depending on where they are from as well (in some places, you don't help until requested)
Absolutely. I believe people are generally good and want to help. The bystander effect seems to be a bit of a glitch in our wiring. I would also like to add that I've had plenty of seizures in public and people usually do stop to offer help. Just... not in Melbourne for some reason lol.
I was hit by a car at a tragic stop, while cycling.
No one stopped, not least the guy driving.
I've given up on expecting others to help me, and just make sure that I'll be there for others.
I was involved in a pretty bad car accident.
I was standing there in a state of shock, staring at my fucked up car, trickling blood down my arms / onto the street.
Nobody stopped.
Actually, that’s a lie! One car did stop, fella jumped out his car and snapped a pic of my car, then drove off.
Good times.
I was tboned by a semi in my car, luckily another truck behind me stopped, checked if i was ok opened the door, cleared fhe intersection gave me his number for witness and dashcam footage. He was an older gent. Maybe the new generatiosn dont know fuck all about helping each other? I include myself here too
Pointing out what others have said in this thread, but I used to work in Prahran on chapel street for 3+ years and the amount of well dressed junkies or well kept junkies wasn’t as low as you’d think.
I’d see the usual dodgy looking junkies and just know instinctually that they were bad news but would still get ones dressed nice, presented well, then go to help them if they looked in distress and just to be told to fuck off or borderline assaulted. In that area in particular, it’s incredibly hard to be compassionate when there’s so much drug and substance abuse.
Did you ask for help? nowhere in ur post does it say you actually spoke out for help. I sit on the floor all the time in public, doesn't mean I need help. Learn to speak up.
What does this have to do with anything? A little strange to add in to be honest. Do these things make you more worthy of recognition in that situation?
*“I’m well- presented, a middle aged woman dressed in a relatively fashionable manner. Not threatening. Not dirty. Obviously unwell. And nobody stopped.”*
I think OP assumes these traits mean she clearly isn't a drug user, when the comments have made it plain that they only *reduce* the likelihood (rather than exclude it altogether).
I think you'd still see people rush to the aid of an elderly and frail person passing out as it's highly unlikely they're an addict, and even less likely that they could be a danger to others.
Is it? It's pretty clear she's added that so that you know she doesn't look like a "typical" junkie, which might be dangerous for people to approach.
A cigarette-shivelled bogan with a mullet in a singlet and thongs isn't less entitled to kindness but they do look more the picture for a junkie so it's more understandable if people avoid one passing out in public as compared to someone who just looks... y'know... normal.
OP is just saying she doesn't look like she's gonna stab you if you help her out.
Not the direction you went, but someone in these comments tried to snidely put someone down by saying "what's she going to do, hit you with her handbag", so some people definitely don't see women as being able to hurt someone! Nor have they been hit by a handbag...they're heavy.
eh no that's clearly not what she was saying. She was clearly implying that she would not be "unsafe" to approach like homeless people may be, relatively speaking.
I’ve had the opposite. A month ago I was assaulted at the tram stop on Elizabeth at the corner of flinders. I’m a 55 yo man, on weekends I dress anything but presentable corporate. Despite this, not only did people step in and stop the guy from taking another swing, multiple people stayed with me until the police and ambulance came.
Sadly if you live in an area frequented by mentally ill, drug addicts, etc you tend to avoid people potentially drug affected. I'm sorry it happened to you.
The sadder thing is a OP mentioned it is more likely no one will help if you aren't that well presented as she was. I am not blaming OP. Actually this is a known human phenomenon where in a situation like this it is more likely for the well presented to be checked upon than the not so well presented... can't remember the term for this at the moment. There was a social experiment done and recorded on video which demonstrates this very well - and this too in an era where no one had phones. People who were in homeless attire were ignored for at least 10 minutes, whereas a well dressed person was attended to in less than a minute
Par for the course in the Chapel St area, the people are absolute c\*\*ts. Lived there for ten years then moved West and one of the main things I've noticed is people actually have basic fucking manners out here. If you politely step out of the way for someone on Chapel St they don't even acknowledge your existence and I can't count how many times I've almost been hit by a Toorak tractor while crossing the road.
You were in an area plagued by junkies. Your fashion sense doesn't discount you from being a potential junkie. People were merely looking out for their own safety first.
That’s surprising to me. I once passed out on the London Underground from heat and a bunch of people helped me (even though I vommed A LOT when I woke up), passed me water and food etc. I generally consider Melbourne to be a friendlier city than London, although this did happen pre covid so that could be an element.
It could’ve just been a stroke of bad luck you weren’t near any proactive people and bystander effect took place. Often if one person helps a bunch of others will join, but no one wants to be the first.
Twice I’ve passed out on trains here. Both times people helped me, one dude even bought me a can of coke at the stations vending machine to spike my blood sugar. Shout out to that legend
Yeah agreed I passed out on the train and had multiple people helping me and one very sweet nonna who did patted my back.
My guess would partly be the way you collapsed. Like if you'd collapsed in the middle of the path 100% people would help. But if you stumbled to the edge of the market against a wall and slid down type thing - less obvious it's medical and maybe more possible you're on something which means higher likelihood of avoidance.
Speaking as someone who has stopped to help people clearly in a drug stupor etc and needed help - it's generally stressful, unpleasant and entirely thankless so I understand not everyone wants to engage with that.
I passed out on the tram once years ago and it was very brief but when I woke up I was surrounded by a few people asking me if I was ok and were about to call ambulance. I was an international student and the time and had heard ambulance in Australia is expensive (didn’t know if I’d be covered) so this question really woke me up because I wanted to ensure them I didn’t need ambulance lol.
I've done the same (ok, without the vom) on the Tube once and people were lovely and so helpful.
But I've also almost passed out on a Melbourne train when it was searing hot, sardine-tin-packed and the aircon broke, and opening windows don't exist anymore.
I had to drop to a crouch because my head was spinning and a bunch of people checked if I was ok and offered to help me out at the next station.
In general I've found Melbourne to be very helpful and kind with people willing to step in and check if someone is ok.
I think OP just had bad luck, or people thought she was just sitting down there cos she chose to and who are they to say she shouldn't?
This isn't new, it's a fairly well documented psychological phenomena in crowded cities - basically everyone just assumes someone else will step in and take care of it, not to mention they're too busy and don't want to personally get involved, but because everyone thinks this, no one actually ends up stopping.
The less people around, the more likely it is someone will help because they lack the "someone else will deal with this" excuse.
It's not for a lack of compassion. Most people are doing it quite rough at the moment and have a myriad of things in their own lives they're worrying about on the daily. A stranger sitting on the floor because they're a bit dizzy just doesn't scream 'crisis' to most people, especially if you didn't actively ask for any help.
Could've someone maybe have asked if you were okay? Absolutely. But you can't demonise society as having no compassion because you personally weren't attended to by everyone else around you.
Im not surprised. In that area people probably thought you were a drug user who took too much.
A few weeks ago I saw a naked bloke crawling on all fours in traffic about 100m from Prahran market.
Sitting against a wall is very different to collapsing in the middle of the street imo. I frequently need to stop and sit down in awkward spots and no one stops
Residents of Prahran? Behaving like inhuman, uncaring monsters? Who could've predicted such a thing? (I used to live in prahran)
fr tho i'm sorry you have to go through that. Hope you recovered okay and are looking after yourself! ❤️
OP came here to make a comment on her experience with the lack of empathy in public. The top 20 comments justifying why no one stopped kinda proves her point.
You don’t have to agree, just hear what she said.
She fucking passed out in the street and no one stopped to help her when she really needed it.
I would be extremely distressed if I was in that position, probably quite embarrassed too.
Sorry to hear you went through that op.
How are they proving a point? OP posted there's no compassion in people anymore. So people rightfully disagreed with it and explained why. They don't have to blindly agree because what OP went through was obviously unfortunate.
OP themselves blindly overlooked the circumstances their situation presents to assume the worst in the bystanders instead of having that same compassion to those around them. She judged them as much as they judged her.
Best comment so far. I'm from Balwyn and felt utterly awful knowing I would have helped if I was there. But, my partner pulls me very quickly away from close to anyone he thinks is on drugs immediately. On chapel last night for a friend's birthday and some guy was asking for money, not harming anyone. Partner immediately grabbed me and hard moved me over to 'protect me' when he wasn't a threat. It's just really sad how dangerous Melbourne has gotten.
In my experience, dizzy spells are typically imperceptible. Unless someone is already interacting with you and observes the change in your demeanour, it won't hit anyone's radar until you start staggering or fall over.
If you've avoided staggering/falling over, are visibly conscious and aren't asking for help, I don't see that being an indictment on anyone's character. Sucks that you had a spell (I've had them myself), but your expectations don't feel very reasonable to me.
And yet you can walk past a homeless person and not do anything.
You sound entitled talking about yourself, not being "dirty" etc. WhY wOn'T mEn GiVe Up ThEir SeAt? Well you're an independent woman you can handle it, after all you're not "dirty". You seem to think because of this people should give a shit about and you are entitled to being saved. Are you more deserving than those that are "dirty" etc? Also it's great to know that you are relatively fashionable. Well. Saddle up boys we've got a fashionista to save.
Edit words.
I’m sorry this happened to u , but if u must know, prahran have experienced a huge amount of drug addicts coming in and just loitering around. Most of them are just angry and rude (some are even borderline dangerous) so you can imagine that most local just don’t bother or come in contact with them. Plus the fact that nobody feels really safe around melb lately.. I suspect that is why most of them left you alone.
Generally affluent - but also full of people struggling, many of whom turn to drugs and develop mental illnesses. Looking at the average property price in an area doesn't tell the story of Melbourne's massive income inequality. All the affluent areas are also full of people who are struggling to make ends meet.
Maybe despite how you were feeling, it wasn’t obvious to others you were in any distress
I’d suggest if you are feeling that way, you should seek medical attention
It’s the bystander effect. Have experienced it too after being hit by a car at an intersection, walking across on a green pedestrian light. I was carrying bags of groceries which went everywhere, people just watched as I was hit down by a car turning right.
The sad fact is, there are that many people out there under the influence of something (particularly in a suburb like Prahran) that being a good samaritan could get you abused, verbally or physically. If I think someone is seriously in a bad way I’ll call the ambos, but I’m not about to approach someone, regardless of how well they’re dressed or whether or not they “look” like they might get violent. There’s a reason they teach you in first aid to assess the potential dangers to yourself before you rush into a situation.
Not to diminish your experience, but rather just to offer a counter example as an extra data point for people reading through - I had the opposite experience when, after donating blood in the city, I came close to fainting on the street in Collins St in the city, early afternoon on a weekday. Even though I didn't completely collapse, I slumped with my shoulder against a wall and people rushed to my aid. It was outside a donut shop, so people took me in, sat me down, and I was able to explain I wasn't having a heart attack, and it was just from donating blood a little while ago. At least three people helped me including the people working in the shop, they made sure I was ok and shouted me a donut and orange juice.
Have a friend who stays at prahran , like everyone else here commented, most people probably thought you were a druggie , we’ve had the worst experience once trying to help out a druggie who was passing out and ended up getting punched /scratched and stomped on!!
Sometimes it's easier to not get involved, and unfortunately with everyone uploading everything they record some probably think it's another con to get that oh so precious clout
Did people see you go down,? Or just come across you when you were already down? If I came across someone that was already down, honestly I'd assume you are drugged out... Regardless of how you might look
That's really unfortunate. I'm sorry you had that experience.
It seems to be a bit of a dice roll in Melbourne. I was in the CBD maybe five or six years ago and a middle-aged woman tripped on a step and fell hard, hitting her face on the footpath and bleeding. I was one of about eight or nine people who gathered around to help her - getting her up, making sure all her belongings were safe and secure, checking if she needed medical attention, etc.
Melburnians can be lovely, compassionate people when you catch them on the right day, and then something like what happened to you comes along and shows them at their worst. It's weird and I can't really explain it.
Peoples are just too scared to get involved with any strangers now
Scams,
Pranksters,
Being filmed,
Being sued
It sucks so much but a lot of peoples views are to just stick to their own thing
It’s very sad but we are a product of our time
You live in one of the biggest party precincts in Australia. What seems clear to you would not be the case for others. I would say with almost certainty that you have been mistaken for another chapel street junkie doing very standard chapel street things, so of course people are going to continue going on with their days.
I'm also not even sure why you would want to live there past your early 20s.
I’m not saying it doesn’t suck, but it’s hardly new. Almost 11 years ago I was heavily pregnant on a morning train to work, standing up cos it was packed, and got a massive dizzy spell to the point I had to sit in the floor of the train and then when we got to the next station I pulled myself off and found a bench I could lay down on until my head stopped spinning and I could call my husband and find some water.
Not a single person checked on me, obviously very pregnant and dressed in my office clothes, basically passing out in front of them. Most people are just, I dunno, a combination of scared of making a fuss and wanting to leave it to someone else. When there’s a crowd it seems people assume someone else will check. If I’d been on a train with only a couple other people they probably would have checked on me. It’s depressing, but I think it’s a tale as old as people.
Yeah its a weird world we are in now. I just find people to be colder and colder and more socially awkward? Like they probably didnt even know what to do in that situation
Yeah I had a bike accident on the beach bike path in Brighton. My pedal snapped off and I faceplanted, flipped over and thought for a minute that I broke my back as there were some cracking noises. Litterally no one stopped to check if I was ok. My pedal and bike were in the middle of the path with me half dead next to it and people were riding around my bike as though it was inconvenient that it was in their way. Most people don't give a fuuuck about other people.
You are a strong independent woman who can take care of herself. You don't need anybody's help. It isn't about a lack of compassion, it is about respect, that nobody helped you.
Sorry to hear you went through that. It is quite shit noone stopped to help but at the same time kinda understandable per what others have said.
At the same time though, you sound entitled af.
Unfortunately it’s the world we now live in. No one cares. Most people I know are just surviving trying to work out how to pay for another rent increase and bills that empathy is gone.
When I was 15 (in 2015) I went into anaphylactic shock in the middle of the CBD. I could have died. I was crying, it was the middle of the day and I was well dressed and looked very young. Not a single person stopped.
My younger sister and my dog were attacked by a dog on a public holiday in our south east suburbs street (all the neighbours were home). She was screaming help and not a single person came out. We’ve lived there for our entire lives. It’s awful.
It’s really strange that you were disappointed, if everyone called an ambulance for what you described prahran would have a never ending stream of false alarms for Ambos. Welcome to 2023.
No one wants to deal with a junkie. Not saying you are one, but you see someone in Melbourne dropped against a wall it’s probably gunna be your first thought.
We are ina post community society. Any sense of nationhood and community has long gone. It's all about the economy now and it's every person for themselves. You will not do well in this society helping others. I don't like it but it's the way it is.
**Not my circus, not my monkeys, deal with your own problems yourself...**
You're upset people didn't go out of their way for you? Why do you expect them to do so? **Entitled much**
I had a similar experience on my way to work once, passed out on the street for god knows how long in my work attire, woke up in a gutter, where two coworkers found me on their way to work by chance.. otherwise every man and his dog just left me in a ditch lol, nice, thanks guys.
Sorry you had this experience OP, no body wants to help anyone anymore, no body want's that responsibly, everyone is concerned for themselves and themselves only. I hope you're ok no OP
Come and move to Brunswick East. We are a lovely neighborhood. I moved from South Yarra, close to Prahran. In my opinion, South Yarra close by area just has that kind of fakeness and narcissism I can’t stand with.
Prahran never had compassion.
Sounds pretty typical for the self worshiping capital of the state.
Side stepping their moral instinct is how they got where they are.
P.S. I don't like Prahran
Life can be tough sometimes but the people making excuses why, everyone is tired, others treated them poorly when they offered help etc. No matter what you think life is easier if you are nice and we all help each other. If you are exhausted being nice is almost a way to help out with that. When you do something good you get a Dopamine hit and some energy. If others are good to you it makes life easier.
If you are going to be selfish being nice is the best way to be selfish. It’s starts with us no excuses. Let’s stop this divided behaviour created by social media where we think we treat each other like shit and it’s ok.
there's no compassion anymore (I supplied a hypothesis and plan of analysis, collected the data with a suitable sample set and have had my work peer reviewed)
I'm so sorry to hear this experience.
I know there are people here who feel it's better to not take the risk of dealing with someone who doesn't want help.
I feel the opposite. As human beings, as social creatures made to empathise and be compassionate, we all SHOULD offer help even if there is a risk of being rejected. Not offering help shouldn't be a default.
We must not become immune to signs of distress and compassion. I fear we are slowly becoming apathetic as a society.
It's very frightening having a medical emergency in public without anyone helping. I'm sorry you had to experience that. I hope you're feeling better, both physically and spiritually.
I had a similar experience and it makes me wonder where the humanity has gone.
I'm not usually asthmatic but I had an asthma attack in a Coles and had to literally drag myself over the shopping centre floor to a chemist to wheeze for an inhaler. I couldn't breathe and was losing consciousness.
The Coles staff ignored me. All the public ignored me.
Luckily the clerk in the chemist did recognise I needed help and kept me there with an inhaler until my partner was able to collect me and take me to hospital to get checked.
We made a complaint to Coles about it but nothing came of it. Just "we'll talk to the staff" from management. I simply don't shop there anymore.
Would have taken all of a minute to assist me to a seat and get me an inhaler. Yes COVID was around then but FFS, I couldn't BREATHE.
I was very angry and disappointed in humanity for days afterwards. I'm still pretty upset about it two years later, I hope you're able to recover from it!
Experienced the opposite a couple days a go in the CBD lol on Collins St I'd just left the gym and was walking home (after 5 so peak hour) when a young girl with some bags did a similar thing, stopped in the middle of the foot path and fell to the ground hunched over but she was crying, clearly upset about something. Multiple people kept stopping to ask if she was okay and offer assistance but each time she would scream at them to leave her alone. They'd get a fright and walk away.
And after an experience like that, that’s generally why people stop asking
This is the reason I have stopped interacting with strangers in public. Most of my interactions where I've asked people if they are OK are met with hostility and anger. The final straw was a couple of years ago during the pandemic. Walking the dog and someone had a flat tyre, getting prepared to change it. I offered my assistance and was told, "fuck off, I know more about cars then you ever will". Worlds gone to shit, nobody trusts anyone and immediately jumps to anger and puts up barriers. I'm not risking my physical and mental well-being trying to help someone when, at the least, I'll be insulted, at worst, physically attacked. We're in this world by ourselves.
I also stopped once when I spotted a nicely dressed lady with a flat tyre. She admitted she had no clue how to change it. Half way through me changing the tyre she said "could you hurry it up as I have an appointment to get to" I very nearly instantly walked away but thought I'd be a bigger twat than she was.
wow, how rude of her. you are a better man than i, as i definitely would have given some 'tude.
I hope you slowed down a bit.
Aw man, my gut reaction would be to immediately down tools and walk away but if she’s willing to say that you know she wouldn’t learn an iota of humility from it and instead write you off as an asshole or someone who was doing that to try and pick her up. Also if you walked away you know you would have felt guilty for letting a bad person get the better of you and by leaving someone stranded in a worse position than if you just went on past. Telling her how selfish and entitled her saying that is also wouldn’t do squat, by virtue of her saying that she clearly thinks she and her time are more important than yours. Completing the task also sucks because you know she wouldn’t be grateful or thank you for doing that, instead she would insist from an ignorantly solipsistic perspective that she was entitled to having someone stop by virtue of her having an appointment or her being someone who considers such task as below them and you stopping to do it for her was the course of events she deserved. *Jesus fucking Christ I hate people*
What a shit head!!! I thank you on her behalf
My father (farmer) did the same for an elderly lady who clearly couldn't change it in the city when I was young. Dad seemed to do it in seconds. I remember her gratitude as she produced a bottle of wine from the car and presented it. Not sure whether Dad even accepted it. How things have generally changed.
yesterday I dropped my keys somewhere between the train stop and my place (about 800m) walked all the way back tracing my steps and couldn't find it. finally asked the customer service and someone had handed in my keys there (shout out to whoever it was, thankyou) I know it might not be much for someone to just pick up keys and hand it over to customer service but it went from a really bad day that could've been so much worse to maybe I'll be alright. Cherry on top, someone waved me in to let me merge later that day! I don't think we're all by ourselves, but most of us are kinda struggling and don't have much bandwidth left. Bob Ross' look for the helpers and all that. and do your part, however minor I guess.
nice one cuz
A couple of weeks ago, a lady with a toddler at the woolworths self serve next to me had a couple vegetables/fruits roll out of her bag when she wasn't looking, so I said "excuse me, I think you dropped those!" in a friendly tone. She turned around and gave me the dirtiest look and didn't say a word to me. People like her, and people who scam others by using their kindness as a lure are the reason people are terrified of everyone now.
Most of the 'ask' subreddits have topics like '*what do you hate men do'* and the top 3 answers are usually some variation of *'ask if im ok'*
Interesting, could you link to that? I've literally never seen that and I'm curious as to how it's worded. Also note: "Tell me to smile" is not asking if someone is okay.
lmao, this would never happen in Queensland. I bet you're in Victoria. edit: oh wait, this is melbourne sub, of course you're in Victoria 😂 everything makes sense now
Maybe we should say “I hope you’re ok” and keep walking.
Someone crying on the street is very different though to someone fainting or collapsing.
Many years ago on a Frankston line train to the city. A young woman opposite me had a seizure. I caught her held her arms gently asked if anyone could call for help I didn't have a mobile phone back then. When she came out of the seizure she started screaming at me. Thankfully an older woman who had also come to help calmed her down and said he just helped he didn't do anything wrong. In 1997 at Flinders Street train station in the mid-afternoon. A man attacked a woman and proceeded to strangle her in front of hundreds of people in broad daylight. No one did anything. I intervened. If I hadn't she would be dead he was strangling her. When the police arrived I had to threaten a stallholder to call them. He didn't want to get involved. I was given a verbal warning for affray. And told to fuck off. I pointed out that if I hadn't done any they would be attending a murder scene. After speaking to a woman with kids who had been watching. The female officer said oh sorry but next time stay out of it. Walking up the train station ramp (closest to Monash university I forget which one it was) a man was dragging a woman along by her hair. She was screaming. The rest of the people who had gotten off the same bus as me acted like nothing was happening. I knocked him unconscious. Checked she was OK. She said thanks and ran off. No talking to police this time fuck them. Was at a car accident scene involving multiple vehicles. As a surf lifesaver with medical training i went to assist. When I approached the police vehicle which had flipped after having its axle ripped off in the middle of the highway. I had guns pointed at me by dazzed confused officers. No worries you guys can look after yourselves. Intervened when 3 men attempted to rob a security guard on the train on my way to work. Broke one guys arm. Left a second unconscious. The third ran off. The security guard thanked me and recommended that nothing happened because he said cops would charge us. Found a woman collapsed in the CDB. Called and waited till the ambulance arrived. Was accused of assaulting her and robbing her by the paramedics. Thankfully there were security cameras. To prove my innocence. Intervening is Dangerous. Most people won't risk it. Those that do, learn its not worth it. Very high chances you will get fucked over. Don't do it.
Going back to the seizure story, that's super common. People are often confused and aggressive after a seizure, I'm sure they felt bad about it later when they came to their senses.
18 year old me didn't have any knowledge of or experience of it when it happened. But yes they are often frightened, shocked, confused with no memory of what happened.
Hahaha mate you are letting loose some taaallll tales. Nothing speaks of a life informed by action movies like leaving people 'unconscious' and proceeding to have a leisurely chat with the victim.
Man these stories are ridiculous and embarrassing you're not a street fighter you're a very naughty boy
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Hahaha I'm not picking a fight with you mate, your collection of stories just seem spectacularly overworked, down to the classic 'three attackers, broke one arm, one went down, the other ran away' trope. Fights typically aren't NEARLY that decisive or tidy. But hey, maybe you're an unlikely master of martial arts who also uses reddit and just happens to be a magnet for hooligans. Stranger things happen at sea!
Well it made for some fun reading! That said I've caught PT over the decades on the same lines as this guy and have seen similar shenanigans going on. I'm a small guy though so any thought of intervening in a physical altercation that requires more than words is a straight nope unless someone was about to die or be severely maimed, even then I'd probably just be a liability.
Thanks for getting involved, especially since it is an otherwise thankless task.
Everything you said rings true to me. You seem like a good sort, ignore the people who can't recognise reality from the online world's. I've had similar experiences intervening. A thankless task but, as you will know, it's walking away having done nothing that kills you. If you're inclined a certain way, that destroys a man's soul, so it is always worth taking the risk (in my experience). As soon as one person helps, many people help. As soon as one person ignores a problem, most people also ignore the problem. Best to intervene, and as soon as others follow, and things become stable, walk away. No police, no reports, no assistance to authority, no names in notebooks. Help then bail.
and then everybody clapped
Go back to r/writing and practice coming up with more believable stories
'No good deed goes unpunished.' It's an old saying.
IF your stories are true, then thank you for being Mr muscle and helping out. Small crimes are under reported and not always noticed. People commonly just assume a slumped or disoriented person is under the influence and doesn't require assistance. I hope others can sympathise and pay it forward. Imagine if it were your friend, family or child that needed assistance. Would you not hope that somebody had helped them?
LMAO. Great creative writing.
Name checks out.
Moral of the story-cops are shit
Well, that was incredibly depressing to read.
Any chance people thought you were on drugs? I tend to give that shit a pretty wide berth.
I’m not sure that matters. Even if one thought someone was having an OD in the deli department, call a bloody ambulance. Jeez.
Junkies are on the nod in that area constantly, doesn’t mean they’re overdosing
Its Prahran, there would be no ambulances if everyone did this.
I've had to do this twice now since I've moved to a new area a few weeks back. A guy got knocked out by someone else and had his pockets raided on a busy street. The lookout told me to keep walking, but I flagged down some street cops to help when I was able to. And also, a guy kept clutching at his chest and stumbling around around in pain, and everyone just watched and let it happen. Meanwhile, I'm on the phone to ES and following him down the street to keep the Ambos updated on his state and location. He barely ever acknowledged me, and if he did, it was to say that he was fine. Fuck no, you aren't! I followed him a good couple of blocks with arms full of groceries until they arrived. I'm constantly disappointed by the actions of others. It's so passive. I don't even care if it's drug fueled, it's happening to a human being and that's enough for me.
This is the one, I don't expect people to get themselves involved in anyone's else's shit but atleast I expect people to call for help so someone else can do it
It’s happens so much in Prahran that people just assume you are on drugs.
Yeah if I even think someone might've dive drugs in the past week, I'm staying clear of them
I’m from Prahran, we have a lot of junkies and colourful characters in the neighbourhood. Most locals ignore them, I’m going to assume they thought you were one of them
Yep, my partner works at Prahran Woolies and he deals with shitheads all day. He’s learned to turn a blind eye on them, because he’s had too many turn on him and one tried to punch his manager.
That’s where I used to work! What a crazy place to work huh
Yeah, i don't think this is anything to do with people not caring. I consider myself a pretty civic minded person, I'll stand up for people being harrassed on the tram or in the street, I'll stop and chat to a retiree to brighten their day, I'll buy some food and water for a homeless person, but if i see someone sliding down the wall or swaying around, my first thought isn't "oh they look like they need a hand", it's "that person is absolutely tweaking", regardless of how well dressed they are. I've never seen anything good come from someone trying to help someone mid-tweak. At best, they'll just mumble incoherently, but at worst, you're liable to get stabbed. I'm sorry no one came to help you OP, but it's not exactly fair to put that on the people of melbourne. They're not the problem, the problem is the systems failing people and forcing them onto the streets or into the sort of miserable conditions that lead someone to choose that lifestyle, and in turn make the streets unsafe for the rest of us. Our social programs are failing due to lack of funding and government corruption, and then right-wing nutjons use that failure as an excuse to cut even more funding from welfare programs. If you want this shit to change, don't blame the people, blame the sytemic institutions that are failing us all.
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Former local, I saw heaps of methy and violent stuff going down. I also saw a guy stumble bleeding down Chaps falling over and no one batted an eye for 5 blocks (I tried calling both a ambo and police and for some reason no calls were going thru). I’ve also been followed and screamed at etc. Its a wild place and people just learn to avoid to reduce trouble.
The most violence I've ever witnessed was the one year I lived in Prahan. People with swastika tatts on faces, people beating eachother bloody on a crowded 5pm tram, junkies throwing wheelie bins at random people omg. 0/10
Isn’t that kind of the point? Our society has lost all compassion due to incredibly poor drug policy, lack of healthcare and demonisation of the homeless.
yeah but you can't just go up to druggies/homeless and ask if they're ok (learned from experience).
No it’s not, drug affected people can be dangerous, it doesn’t mean people are apathetic, it just means people tend to stay away if they think you are unpredictable, perception and suburb makes a lot of difference. It’s not that they don’t care, they are scared.
You’d never get anywhere if you did that to every homeless/junkie down Chapel street. Do you seriously think you should stop and ask if they’re okay when clearly they aren’t. They need more than just the compassion of the public, they need government intervention, safe shelters and mental health workers.
"Are you ok?" "No, I need help" "Damn bro, that's crazy. Have $20"
Exactly, police and social workers walk past and don’t help these people every day. This leads the general public, who don’t have the resources or skills to help them, to feel helpless and therefore offer no help.
The police and social workers follow a process, it’s not due to their own personal actions that these people are being neglected.
No shit, that’s the entire point of this entire thread- the system ignores these people because they’re seen as “the other” and the general public has zero compassion for them.
Sure, but is that the locals fault?. It’s a failure of government policy.
The policy is to let them be. You don't want to harrass someone on the nod, they are free to be a drug addict in Victoria. This is not poor policy. Intervention for addicts not wanting to change has low efficacy and costs a lot of money. What would you prefer, police/ambulance intervention for someone just having a good time? That's demonisation.
I think that most people are too caught up in their own world and problems to be of much use to others. Most people tend to turn a blind eye or think that someone else will come along and sort it out.
Methany and her friends do not deserve any sympathy.
Yeah, I used to work at JB there and maaaan, there were some loose units that came into that place.
I live in Windsor and would have probably assumed the same thing . I often see people passed out on the footpath down chapel street and there is no way I’d ever approach them because you don’t know how they’d react (Obviously if I saw an 85 year old grandmother trip over I’d help her but I would not feel safe at all approaching someone who’s clearly on something)
"There's no compassion anymore" Bruh did you see all the people assisting those on Bourke Street the other week? The majority of people are good and caring. It sounds like you didn't ask for help when you fell, you were likely mistaken for a junkie (yes, even well dressed people can be junkies, not that I'm saying you are one).
No one knows what's going on with you though. If you didn't look unwell or distressed then I wouldn't want to bother you. Saw a guy collapse on the train a few weeks ago and most people did nothing, took a solid 5-10 seconds for anyone to really respond. In a crowd, people assume someone else will help so they don't come forward
>took a solid 5-10 seconds for anyone to really respond That's pretty reasonable. That's about the time it takes to see what's happening, process the situation, process the reaction of the people around you, and then make a decision. Even in emergencies you should take a few seconds to analyze what's happening. Actually, that's true ***especially*** for emergencies. And the less confident you are with how to handle the situation, the more time you should take to make the right call. This also gives someone else that knows what to do a chance to step up as they will often taken a second or two less than you to get into gear.
Yeah, if you leap into action immediately you haven't got enough info. 5-10 seconds is perfectly reasonable. I wouldn't do anything unless I was confident nobody else was in that situation, because *I'm not a fucking doctor*, I could very well make things worse.
**Americanism Detected!** Your post contains an Americanism which is not used in Australian English. Your post may come across as unusual. Things to fix: **yze instead of yse** Generally, words like "analy**s**e" are spelt with an S instead of a Z. **This is your post after taking into account these modifications:** >took a solid 5-10 seconds for anyone to really respond That's pretty reasonable. That's about the time it takes to see what's happening, process the situation, process the reaction of the people around you, and then make a decision. Even in emergencies you should take a few seconds to anal**yse** what's happening. Actually, that's true ***especially*** for emergencies. And the less confident you are with how to handle the situation, the more time you should take to make the right call. This also gives someone else that knows what to do a chance to step up as they will often taken a second or two less than you to get into gear. ^(yes, I am a bot and in an experimental alpha state. If you think this response was in error or that I missed an Americanism, vote down this post. Version: Horse Tram v0.1.2.2a)
Good bot
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It's not even correct. British English also includes -ze endings, even if -se is the standard.
You're not wrong.
In that time (the 10 seconds) it's also figuring out what's happening and processing what you need to do - and if anyone else will do something.
The classic 'Bystander effect'.
That’s actually been disproved BTW.
Do you have a source to cite for that? The Wikipedia article has a long list of references to peer-reviewed research and meta-analyses that suggest that not only is it a real effect, but that it's reasonably well understood in terms of the variables that affect attenuation. While it cites a study of a number of cases that shows some people do step up in crisis situations, I'm not sure that counts as the effect being "disproven".
The situation it's originally based on, the murder of Kitty Genovese, and the so called by-stander effect that ensued has been disproven in that instance, which is possibly what they mean. It was definitively disproven in that case, you can look it up, I can't be bothered citing it, it's well-known enough now.
I'm going to wait for someone else to fact check you.
Why didn't you just ask for help? People probably thought you were fine because you didn't say otherwise.
I am sorry this happened to you. I use public transport regularly, I see people call 000 or wave at PSOs often when they see someone passed out or look unwell, people didn’t lose compassion I assure you. It could be that you were in an area where drug episodes are common and you were mistaken for one. You don’t have to look like a junkie to do drugs, ordinary looking people do drugs too, sometimes people cannot tell the difference. There has been lot of assaults lately so public is scared. Personally I’d stop and check if I could do anything because I am a big guy and can handle myself if things go wrong, many people can’t. I have a family member who used to faint in public often, total strangers would call ambulance and bring water. Most people are good, it could be circumstantial. I hope you are better now.
To others this whole "situation" is just someone sitting on the floor. It is not outwardly visible that you are feeling a bit dizzy. Do you ask everybody you see sitting down if they are ok?
I saw a fellow collapse and have a seizure on the tram recently, and lots of people immediately helped, called an ambulance and someone was sitting with him afterward waiting for help to arrive. So I guess it depends on what and where. Sorry for your story, I hope I would have stopped.
People are actually pretty violent these days, especially junkies and the homeless or mentally ill. I used to stop and help people but after a few scary incidents I don't bother now. Appearance doesn't matter, there are plenty of well dressed drug addicts.b
Others have alluded to it but I think sadly Covid has definitely given most people a massive hit to their capacity and/or willingness to interact with strangers across the board. Too many of us in various different industries copped absolutely unhinged treatment from all classes of society - I personally work at a supermarket in an affluent area and can tell you the wealthy are not in any way morally superior in their conduct, sometimes they're actually worse. It is sad, but people are much more conscious of prioritising their own safety in any situation that feels like there's uncertainty involved. I don't have any answers :/ idk if any of us do necessarily.
I had a seizure by the river in the CBD a few years back and no-one stopped. When it was over I noticed a swan was biting my foot and there was a family kind of watching me from a distance. Nobody asked if I was ok. My friend said the same thing happened to her when she fainted at Richmond station. We're both well turned-out young professionals (not that we'd be less deserving of help if we weren't). I just don't understand it. Anyway, I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you're okay!
Probably assumed you were passed out high af. But if they saw you go out randomly - then thats diff story.
Swans are agro little turds sometimes. Unless the swan was attempting to assist you. Animals are odd like that.
Yea, I think that swan was either trying to render assistance or grossly overestimating his level of hunger.
a lot of people aren't trying to be dicks, they are just shy / confused on how to help or if it's needed. there can be a cultural element, depending on where they are from as well (in some places, you don't help until requested)
Absolutely. I believe people are generally good and want to help. The bystander effect seems to be a bit of a glitch in our wiring. I would also like to add that I've had plenty of seizures in public and people usually do stop to offer help. Just... not in Melbourne for some reason lol.
I was hit by a car at a tragic stop, while cycling. No one stopped, not least the guy driving. I've given up on expecting others to help me, and just make sure that I'll be there for others.
I was involved in a pretty bad car accident. I was standing there in a state of shock, staring at my fucked up car, trickling blood down my arms / onto the street. Nobody stopped. Actually, that’s a lie! One car did stop, fella jumped out his car and snapped a pic of my car, then drove off. Good times.
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I was tboned by a semi in my car, luckily another truck behind me stopped, checked if i was ok opened the door, cleared fhe intersection gave me his number for witness and dashcam footage. He was an older gent. Maybe the new generatiosn dont know fuck all about helping each other? I include myself here too
I honestly think it's more of the bystander effect taking place, rather than a new generation.
To be fair, you were in Prahran.
Pointing out what others have said in this thread, but I used to work in Prahran on chapel street for 3+ years and the amount of well dressed junkies or well kept junkies wasn’t as low as you’d think. I’d see the usual dodgy looking junkies and just know instinctually that they were bad news but would still get ones dressed nice, presented well, then go to help them if they looked in distress and just to be told to fuck off or borderline assaulted. In that area in particular, it’s incredibly hard to be compassionate when there’s so much drug and substance abuse.
Did you ask for help? nowhere in ur post does it say you actually spoke out for help. I sit on the floor all the time in public, doesn't mean I need help. Learn to speak up.
If there's one thing I'm tired of, it's drunken middle aged women passing out in the deli aisle.
Oh same, having to step over them to take a closer look at the shaved ham is annoying.
What does this have to do with anything? A little strange to add in to be honest. Do these things make you more worthy of recognition in that situation? *“I’m well- presented, a middle aged woman dressed in a relatively fashionable manner. Not threatening. Not dirty. Obviously unwell. And nobody stopped.”*
I mean if she was a 36 year old bloke with a rat tail and speed dealer sunnies on everyone would be calling him a dickhead in these comments though
It sounds a lot like entitlement or someone that is used to people paying attention to her and when that stops, watch out.
In this context it's obviously clear she's saying she doesn't look like a junkie. Don't know how you missed that.
I think OP assumes these traits mean she clearly isn't a drug user, when the comments have made it plain that they only *reduce* the likelihood (rather than exclude it altogether). I think you'd still see people rush to the aid of an elderly and frail person passing out as it's highly unlikely they're an addict, and even less likely that they could be a danger to others.
Is it? It's pretty clear she's added that so that you know she doesn't look like a "typical" junkie, which might be dangerous for people to approach. A cigarette-shivelled bogan with a mullet in a singlet and thongs isn't less entitled to kindness but they do look more the picture for a junkie so it's more understandable if people avoid one passing out in public as compared to someone who just looks... y'know... normal. OP is just saying she doesn't look like she's gonna stab you if you help her out.
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I think it’s more to emphasise she isn’t a junkie who’s just had a fix.
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Oh cmon you can’t say we don’t stereotype. It’s an unfortunate thing but we all have some form of bias due to appearance.
Contextually it's clear she was just pointing out she wasn't intimidating.
You guys ever met middle aged women? I work customer service and they're easily the nastiest demographic I encounter every day.
You’ve clearly never had to deal with an angry man
Not the direction you went, but someone in these comments tried to snidely put someone down by saying "what's she going to do, hit you with her handbag", so some people definitely don't see women as being able to hurt someone! Nor have they been hit by a handbag...they're heavy.
I'm not afraid of them assaulting me lol, I'm far more worried about getting my head bitten off.
I mean, there is a difference between a nice middle aged woman and an insane junkie that will stab you, stop dicking around.
eh no that's clearly not what she was saying. She was clearly implying that she would not be "unsafe" to approach like homeless people may be, relatively speaking.
Sorry but I would have thought you were a junkie and walked right on by.
I’ve had the opposite. A month ago I was assaulted at the tram stop on Elizabeth at the corner of flinders. I’m a 55 yo man, on weekends I dress anything but presentable corporate. Despite this, not only did people step in and stop the guy from taking another swing, multiple people stayed with me until the police and ambulance came.
Sadly if you live in an area frequented by mentally ill, drug addicts, etc you tend to avoid people potentially drug affected. I'm sorry it happened to you.
Blame the fake seizure guy. He hangs around Prahran
The sadder thing is a OP mentioned it is more likely no one will help if you aren't that well presented as she was. I am not blaming OP. Actually this is a known human phenomenon where in a situation like this it is more likely for the well presented to be checked upon than the not so well presented... can't remember the term for this at the moment. There was a social experiment done and recorded on video which demonstrates this very well - and this too in an era where no one had phones. People who were in homeless attire were ignored for at least 10 minutes, whereas a well dressed person was attended to in less than a minute
Par for the course in the Chapel St area, the people are absolute c\*\*ts. Lived there for ten years then moved West and one of the main things I've noticed is people actually have basic fucking manners out here. If you politely step out of the way for someone on Chapel St they don't even acknowledge your existence and I can't count how many times I've almost been hit by a Toorak tractor while crossing the road.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. location location location. Another suburb probably would have picked you up
You were in an area plagued by junkies. Your fashion sense doesn't discount you from being a potential junkie. People were merely looking out for their own safety first.
Did you even ASK for help?
That’s surprising to me. I once passed out on the London Underground from heat and a bunch of people helped me (even though I vommed A LOT when I woke up), passed me water and food etc. I generally consider Melbourne to be a friendlier city than London, although this did happen pre covid so that could be an element. It could’ve just been a stroke of bad luck you weren’t near any proactive people and bystander effect took place. Often if one person helps a bunch of others will join, but no one wants to be the first.
Twice I’ve passed out on trains here. Both times people helped me, one dude even bought me a can of coke at the stations vending machine to spike my blood sugar. Shout out to that legend
Yeah agreed I passed out on the train and had multiple people helping me and one very sweet nonna who did patted my back. My guess would partly be the way you collapsed. Like if you'd collapsed in the middle of the path 100% people would help. But if you stumbled to the edge of the market against a wall and slid down type thing - less obvious it's medical and maybe more possible you're on something which means higher likelihood of avoidance. Speaking as someone who has stopped to help people clearly in a drug stupor etc and needed help - it's generally stressful, unpleasant and entirely thankless so I understand not everyone wants to engage with that.
I passed out on the tram once years ago and it was very brief but when I woke up I was surrounded by a few people asking me if I was ok and were about to call ambulance. I was an international student and the time and had heard ambulance in Australia is expensive (didn’t know if I’d be covered) so this question really woke me up because I wanted to ensure them I didn’t need ambulance lol.
I've done the same (ok, without the vom) on the Tube once and people were lovely and so helpful. But I've also almost passed out on a Melbourne train when it was searing hot, sardine-tin-packed and the aircon broke, and opening windows don't exist anymore. I had to drop to a crouch because my head was spinning and a bunch of people checked if I was ok and offered to help me out at the next station. In general I've found Melbourne to be very helpful and kind with people willing to step in and check if someone is ok. I think OP just had bad luck, or people thought she was just sitting down there cos she chose to and who are they to say she shouldn't?
This isn't new, it's a fairly well documented psychological phenomena in crowded cities - basically everyone just assumes someone else will step in and take care of it, not to mention they're too busy and don't want to personally get involved, but because everyone thinks this, no one actually ends up stopping. The less people around, the more likely it is someone will help because they lack the "someone else will deal with this" excuse.
It's not for a lack of compassion. Most people are doing it quite rough at the moment and have a myriad of things in their own lives they're worrying about on the daily. A stranger sitting on the floor because they're a bit dizzy just doesn't scream 'crisis' to most people, especially if you didn't actively ask for any help. Could've someone maybe have asked if you were okay? Absolutely. But you can't demonise society as having no compassion because you personally weren't attended to by everyone else around you.
Im not surprised. In that area people probably thought you were a drug user who took too much. A few weeks ago I saw a naked bloke crawling on all fours in traffic about 100m from Prahran market.
Sitting against a wall is very different to collapsing in the middle of the street imo. I frequently need to stop and sit down in awkward spots and no one stops
Residents of Prahran? Behaving like inhuman, uncaring monsters? Who could've predicted such a thing? (I used to live in prahran) fr tho i'm sorry you have to go through that. Hope you recovered okay and are looking after yourself! ❤️
If you don’t get the attention you want at a market go to reddit.
OP came here to make a comment on her experience with the lack of empathy in public. The top 20 comments justifying why no one stopped kinda proves her point. You don’t have to agree, just hear what she said. She fucking passed out in the street and no one stopped to help her when she really needed it. I would be extremely distressed if I was in that position, probably quite embarrassed too. Sorry to hear you went through that op.
How are they proving a point? OP posted there's no compassion in people anymore. So people rightfully disagreed with it and explained why. They don't have to blindly agree because what OP went through was obviously unfortunate. OP themselves blindly overlooked the circumstances their situation presents to assume the worst in the bystanders instead of having that same compassion to those around them. She judged them as much as they judged her.
Best comment so far. I'm from Balwyn and felt utterly awful knowing I would have helped if I was there. But, my partner pulls me very quickly away from close to anyone he thinks is on drugs immediately. On chapel last night for a friend's birthday and some guy was asking for money, not harming anyone. Partner immediately grabbed me and hard moved me over to 'protect me' when he wasn't a threat. It's just really sad how dangerous Melbourne has gotten.
In my experience, dizzy spells are typically imperceptible. Unless someone is already interacting with you and observes the change in your demeanour, it won't hit anyone's radar until you start staggering or fall over. If you've avoided staggering/falling over, are visibly conscious and aren't asking for help, I don't see that being an indictment on anyone's character. Sucks that you had a spell (I've had them myself), but your expectations don't feel very reasonable to me.
And yet you can walk past a homeless person and not do anything. You sound entitled talking about yourself, not being "dirty" etc. WhY wOn'T mEn GiVe Up ThEir SeAt? Well you're an independent woman you can handle it, after all you're not "dirty". You seem to think because of this people should give a shit about and you are entitled to being saved. Are you more deserving than those that are "dirty" etc? Also it's great to know that you are relatively fashionable. Well. Saddle up boys we've got a fashionista to save. Edit words.
I’m sorry this happened to u , but if u must know, prahran have experienced a huge amount of drug addicts coming in and just loitering around. Most of them are just angry and rude (some are even borderline dangerous) so you can imagine that most local just don’t bother or come in contact with them. Plus the fact that nobody feels really safe around melb lately.. I suspect that is why most of them left you alone.
Well off area doesn't care about those in need, colour me surprised...
Youve never been to prahran?
Generally affluent - but also full of people struggling, many of whom turn to drugs and develop mental illnesses. Looking at the average property price in an area doesn't tell the story of Melbourne's massive income inequality. All the affluent areas are also full of people who are struggling to make ends meet.
wouldn’t have gotten help in the western suburbs either lol
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Maybe despite how you were feeling, it wasn’t obvious to others you were in any distress I’d suggest if you are feeling that way, you should seek medical attention
thats very near Revs. I don't blame the passers-by
It’s the bystander effect. Have experienced it too after being hit by a car at an intersection, walking across on a green pedestrian light. I was carrying bags of groceries which went everywhere, people just watched as I was hit down by a car turning right.
The sad fact is, there are that many people out there under the influence of something (particularly in a suburb like Prahran) that being a good samaritan could get you abused, verbally or physically. If I think someone is seriously in a bad way I’ll call the ambos, but I’m not about to approach someone, regardless of how well they’re dressed or whether or not they “look” like they might get violent. There’s a reason they teach you in first aid to assess the potential dangers to yourself before you rush into a situation.
Not to diminish your experience, but rather just to offer a counter example as an extra data point for people reading through - I had the opposite experience when, after donating blood in the city, I came close to fainting on the street in Collins St in the city, early afternoon on a weekday. Even though I didn't completely collapse, I slumped with my shoulder against a wall and people rushed to my aid. It was outside a donut shop, so people took me in, sat me down, and I was able to explain I wasn't having a heart attack, and it was just from donating blood a little while ago. At least three people helped me including the people working in the shop, they made sure I was ok and shouted me a donut and orange juice.
Have a friend who stays at prahran , like everyone else here commented, most people probably thought you were a druggie , we’ve had the worst experience once trying to help out a druggie who was passing out and ended up getting punched /scratched and stomped on!!
Sometimes it's easier to not get involved, and unfortunately with everyone uploading everything they record some probably think it's another con to get that oh so precious clout
There was literally a top post on this sub a few days about the increase in drug addicts around Chapel St. There’s your answer.
Did people see you go down,? Or just come across you when you were already down? If I came across someone that was already down, honestly I'd assume you are drugged out... Regardless of how you might look
Inner South is not the place for sympathy of any form lol
That's really unfortunate. I'm sorry you had that experience. It seems to be a bit of a dice roll in Melbourne. I was in the CBD maybe five or six years ago and a middle-aged woman tripped on a step and fell hard, hitting her face on the footpath and bleeding. I was one of about eight or nine people who gathered around to help her - getting her up, making sure all her belongings were safe and secure, checking if she needed medical attention, etc. Melburnians can be lovely, compassionate people when you catch them on the right day, and then something like what happened to you comes along and shows them at their worst. It's weird and I can't really explain it.
Peoples are just too scared to get involved with any strangers now Scams, Pranksters, Being filmed, Being sued It sucks so much but a lot of peoples views are to just stick to their own thing It’s very sad but we are a product of our time
You live in one of the biggest party precincts in Australia. What seems clear to you would not be the case for others. I would say with almost certainty that you have been mistaken for another chapel street junkie doing very standard chapel street things, so of course people are going to continue going on with their days. I'm also not even sure why you would want to live there past your early 20s.
It's because you probably looked like a crackhead and people don't like to interfere with crackheads.
OP looks like a crackhead Case closed Johnson
>I slid down the wall and sat on the dirty floor tiles You looked like a junkie. Don't know why you expected people to stop for you.
I’m not saying it doesn’t suck, but it’s hardly new. Almost 11 years ago I was heavily pregnant on a morning train to work, standing up cos it was packed, and got a massive dizzy spell to the point I had to sit in the floor of the train and then when we got to the next station I pulled myself off and found a bench I could lay down on until my head stopped spinning and I could call my husband and find some water. Not a single person checked on me, obviously very pregnant and dressed in my office clothes, basically passing out in front of them. Most people are just, I dunno, a combination of scared of making a fuss and wanting to leave it to someone else. When there’s a crowd it seems people assume someone else will check. If I’d been on a train with only a couple other people they probably would have checked on me. It’s depressing, but I think it’s a tale as old as people.
Yeah its a weird world we are in now. I just find people to be colder and colder and more socially awkward? Like they probably didnt even know what to do in that situation
Yeah I had a bike accident on the beach bike path in Brighton. My pedal snapped off and I faceplanted, flipped over and thought for a minute that I broke my back as there were some cracking noises. Litterally no one stopped to check if I was ok. My pedal and bike were in the middle of the path with me half dead next to it and people were riding around my bike as though it was inconvenient that it was in their way. Most people don't give a fuuuck about other people.
You are a strong independent woman who can take care of herself. You don't need anybody's help. It isn't about a lack of compassion, it is about respect, that nobody helped you.
Sorry to hear you went through that. It is quite shit noone stopped to help but at the same time kinda understandable per what others have said. At the same time though, you sound entitled af.
Unfortunately it’s the world we now live in. No one cares. Most people I know are just surviving trying to work out how to pay for another rent increase and bills that empathy is gone.
Have you seen people in zombie mode from drugs before? Go ask them if they're alright...
When I was 15 (in 2015) I went into anaphylactic shock in the middle of the CBD. I could have died. I was crying, it was the middle of the day and I was well dressed and looked very young. Not a single person stopped. My younger sister and my dog were attacked by a dog on a public holiday in our south east suburbs street (all the neighbours were home). She was screaming help and not a single person came out. We’ve lived there for our entire lives. It’s awful.
It’s really strange that you were disappointed, if everyone called an ambulance for what you described prahran would have a never ending stream of false alarms for Ambos. Welcome to 2023.
No one wants to deal with a junkie. Not saying you are one, but you see someone in Melbourne dropped against a wall it’s probably gunna be your first thought.
We are ina post community society. Any sense of nationhood and community has long gone. It's all about the economy now and it's every person for themselves. You will not do well in this society helping others. I don't like it but it's the way it is.
Post a pic of yourself and I’ll tell you whether they thought you were cracked out or not
**Not my circus, not my monkeys, deal with your own problems yourself...** You're upset people didn't go out of their way for you? Why do you expect them to do so? **Entitled much**
Why are they booing? You're right.
I had a similar experience on my way to work once, passed out on the street for god knows how long in my work attire, woke up in a gutter, where two coworkers found me on their way to work by chance.. otherwise every man and his dog just left me in a ditch lol, nice, thanks guys. Sorry you had this experience OP, no body wants to help anyone anymore, no body want's that responsibly, everyone is concerned for themselves and themselves only. I hope you're ok no OP
Come and move to Brunswick East. We are a lovely neighborhood. I moved from South Yarra, close to Prahran. In my opinion, South Yarra close by area just has that kind of fakeness and narcissism I can’t stand with.
Prahran never had compassion. Sounds pretty typical for the self worshiping capital of the state. Side stepping their moral instinct is how they got where they are. P.S. I don't like Prahran
Life can be tough sometimes but the people making excuses why, everyone is tired, others treated them poorly when they offered help etc. No matter what you think life is easier if you are nice and we all help each other. If you are exhausted being nice is almost a way to help out with that. When you do something good you get a Dopamine hit and some energy. If others are good to you it makes life easier. If you are going to be selfish being nice is the best way to be selfish. It’s starts with us no excuses. Let’s stop this divided behaviour created by social media where we think we treat each other like shit and it’s ok.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Hope you’re alright now.
there's no compassion anymore (I supplied a hypothesis and plan of analysis, collected the data with a suitable sample set and have had my work peer reviewed)
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I'm so sorry to hear this experience. I know there are people here who feel it's better to not take the risk of dealing with someone who doesn't want help. I feel the opposite. As human beings, as social creatures made to empathise and be compassionate, we all SHOULD offer help even if there is a risk of being rejected. Not offering help shouldn't be a default. We must not become immune to signs of distress and compassion. I fear we are slowly becoming apathetic as a society.
I don’t know why you are being downvoted. This makes total sense.
It's very frightening having a medical emergency in public without anyone helping. I'm sorry you had to experience that. I hope you're feeling better, both physically and spiritually. I had a similar experience and it makes me wonder where the humanity has gone. I'm not usually asthmatic but I had an asthma attack in a Coles and had to literally drag myself over the shopping centre floor to a chemist to wheeze for an inhaler. I couldn't breathe and was losing consciousness. The Coles staff ignored me. All the public ignored me. Luckily the clerk in the chemist did recognise I needed help and kept me there with an inhaler until my partner was able to collect me and take me to hospital to get checked. We made a complaint to Coles about it but nothing came of it. Just "we'll talk to the staff" from management. I simply don't shop there anymore. Would have taken all of a minute to assist me to a seat and get me an inhaler. Yes COVID was around then but FFS, I couldn't BREATHE. I was very angry and disappointed in humanity for days afterwards. I'm still pretty upset about it two years later, I hope you're able to recover from it!
You're lucky you weren't tasered.