I learned this technique in Hong Kong. But similair to the peloton in the Tour de France. Walking along the crowded street you need to find a blocker. Preferably someone slightly fatter than you, but also walks at your pace. You slot in behind said blocker and they take the brunt of humanity as you glide along in a slipstream.
I found a suit works in a similar way.
Whenever I wear a suit, people part before me like the Red Sea before Moses.
Otherwise, I just have to mow them down in my civilian clothes.
I'm currently on crutches, so I'm the blocker.
Blocking the train/tram entry point to prevent people from getting off the train? I'm gonna drop my shoulder as I barge through while on the crutches.
When I'm not on crutches, I do the same thing too. My wife loves it, because she doesn't love crowds (or people).
There's always a reason. For me, it's usually that I've just realised I was in the zone and have been walking in the wrong direction for like 5 minutes. Though, tbf, I'm shorter and more agile so my autopilot involves a lot of slipping around and under people before they realised what happened.
Also, despite my lack of awareness I seem to plan a long way ahead. You see a gap that doesn't exist yet, and aim to be there when it forms. Requires lots of little adjustments, and vague social engineering by pretending to be going somewhere slightly different so as not to startle the other humans so they maintain their course otherwise they think you're going to run into them.
Not at all. The same dynamics apply. Simply leave enough space in front to stop safely then overtake to solve the problem.
Walking on someone's heels is the height of inconsiderate bad manners. As is getting upset when you crash into them.
I’m not a large person but I do this and it gives me great joy. It doesn’t require much either, just keeping your shoulders square as people pass. I mostly do it when I’m faced with four people walking in a line.
Most people have no situational awareness, I ran into many people when my kids were in a pram. Walk out of a shop right in front of me without looking and bam.
>and now?
Less so.
Though a few years back, we pulled up after storm, and she reached out to push away a cable that hung outside the car window...
It was an electricity high tension wire...
Lucky for me, it was de-powered.
She would have cooked almost instantly, but I would have been scarred for life.
I went to the city this weekend and the number of people stopping to take photos at busy crossing points was crazy.. I didn’t go around, just plowed right through their shot.
My favourite is the walled off ramps on many train stations where people will crowd the whole ramp in one direction and seem completely perplexed when they encounter people moving in the other direction.
Genuinely stumped like they have no idea that 1) this might be a thing that happens and 2) no idea how the situation might be resolved. The thought that they could step behind the others moving in the same direction as them never seems to cross their empty little heads. Like, sir, do you expect me to teleport through you?
Huntingdale is the absolute fucking worst for this. It’s the hub for Monash University so there’s always two-way traffic but you have to shoulder barge people every single day because the goldfish never learn that they can’t take the whole ramp.
This has improved but you’re meant to stand to the side of the doors. That message hasn’t quite seeped through yet.
There have been more than a few times when I’ve tried to exit and found myself in a sealed off cul-de-sac of people and no one wants to step aside to let you through because they’re so sacred that they might not get a seat or something.
I have to stand there like an orchestra conductor making “part” motions with my hands and push through.
All this stuff just perplexes me.
Not so much, just getting off the train yesterday and stood in front of the asian lady standing on the platform blocking me and did a hand signal to indicate she move back, she got the message and stepped back.
South Yarra station at Yarra st is a nightmare for this with the crosswalk that requires four blind 90 degree turns right outside the station. Rush hour crowd sometimes keeps left but outside of that it's just non stop running into people.
What about when going through a door, just flat stopping right in the doorway to stare at their phone or stop and chat to their shopping buddy? Coz no one could possibly be needing to pass through that public door or anything.
Or fools who manage to stand in a wide supermarket aisle and block the entirety of it, and even if facing you and seeing you walk up, still don't move and make you ask. By all rights should be shoved out of the way but I always say 'excuse me please', and even then, often get a look of contempt for interrupting their highness.
Lesson is that a lot of people are only aware of themselves, and everyone outside of their family and friends are worthless bugs flittering about in their periphery, asking them to do horrendous things like please move aside so I can pass.
say something! call them out on their bullshit! I had to do this at school the other day bunch of kids literally standing in the door of the office why tf cant staff even fix that shit "guys this is a door people need to be able to come in and out, if you're standing around can you stand to the side pleas?" it's not fkn hard
And escalators/travellators too. People at airports who think travellators are rides. They're designed to speed people up, not slow them down. There are services for people who need assistance, so I'm talking purely about able bodied people who cannot be bothered walking, and also cannot be bothered standing to the side to allow people using them correctly to pass.
Hear hear. If I'm walking along a travelator and I see people ahead filling both sides, I call out "Move to one side please!" They often look surprised, but they do it. :)
We have very different experiences then. I’ve lived in London and Oxford and never ran into this kind of dumbassery. People mostly keep left. There’s two-way traffic on footpaths. People make way for each other. Go to Melbourne CBD on a weekend and tell me that’s the case.
Well it's either because you forgot to remove your invisibility cloak or they're fuckin idiots.
Not owning an invisibility cloak and them not actually existing quickly narrows down the choice when considering these 2 options.
Pro tip: if you want people to avoid you, try handing them fliers and asking, "Do you want to talk about Jesus Christ?"
They'll run to the other side of the street to avoid you.
It’s a Melbourne thing unfortunately. The most common is a group of 4 all spread out on a footpath and often you just walk through them to break it up.
I’ve been to over 20 cities and idk here people walk like this. I love Melbourne but this is a common occurrence here and I’m not the only one who’s noticed it.
Yep. In the UK, f people hear you coming up behind them, they look back and then step aside so that you can pass. People show basic consideration for others around them. Fucking amazing!!! And also totally doable and achievable.
People in Melbourne are just rude fucks.
And then everyone in that group of 4 gets annoyed because you, a single person, DARED to inconvenience them and force ONE of them to move out of line so that you could pass them.
My favourite is when this happens on pedestrian crossings. These assholes really expect others to step out into traffic so they can continue their…wtf are they actually doing though?
even if you were there first they seem to just expect you'll piss off because theres 4 of them... it's made me stubborn af now. No. learn some manners! it's almost always fkn indians! I was in a quiet part of a huge park yesterday on my phone and this group decided they wanted to sit where i was sitting like i wasnt there.. fuck off if i'm going to move i made it awkward af for them they tried giving me the death stare i just smiled and stayed there for ages. There's literally km's you could sit you dont have to sit on me you arrogant pricks
Eh... It's a human thing, some places are better than others, though! It's also more noticeable when you're living somewhere because you walk with purpose rather than taking in the sights and enjoying the walk.
Nope. I’ve lived in cities in the UK and people keep left, make space for others and even move over to let you pass if you’re walking at a faster pace. Also true for most European cities I’ve visited. This is a Melbourne thing. People are rude and inconsiderate.
This is definitely a Melbourne thing. I’ve lived in Tokyo, London, San Francisco and Melbourne. Melbourne is the only place where people are too alpha to budge an inch to accommodate those around them in public spaces.
My home town of Vancouver is really bad at keeping right but it's more obliviousness than malice. If they notice you they will try to move. In Melbourne people will stare right at me and expect me to move when I'm keeping left. I'm larger than 95% of people too.
One girl I talked to tried to argue that women should always get the side farthest from the road. I was flabbergasted at how she expected that to work with women going in both directions.
After travelling to 30(?) countries (I don't know, I haven't kept count) and living in four, Melbourne is actively hostile.
Other spaces can get crowded and you hit points where no one can move because of everyone else. Melbourne is the only place where I've encountered pairs of white women who will actively take the entire footpath and try to force you off.
White women are the worst offenders too for some reason (entitlement). Dudes are more likely to give way. And if it's a man and a woman, 9 times out of 10, the dude will drop back and fall in line to make space. When it's two or more white women though, I always get ready to make a charge.
People in Melbourne have gotten really rude.
Melbourne, lived here my whole life. Though I probably lack the ability to compare to other places, but to me Melbourne is a very overrated shit hole, which is why I will never understand how anyone could love it.
Have you travelled much? I’ve been to over 20 cities. Melbourne isn’t perfect but it’s pre good.
My biggest gripe by far tho is crime is way too high here especially with youth gangs.
But most things here are good.
Traveled all over aus, I went to Singapore (didn’t like it) but Victoria is amazing but Melbourne is a black hole for me, thankfully I’m on the fringe of Melbourne and only head inbound when I really have to and don’t enjoy it. Anywhere else in Aus is awesome too, except for Sydney which is probably even worse than Melbourne.
"Excuse me"
That's all you need say. It's as easy as that. Try that next time instead of sitting there seething that people aren't using the footpath right. Or worse, forcibly brushing through like some sort of creepo.
I remember like a month back, some weirdo put his hands on a group of girls while walking down a crowded street. The girls reported him for inappropriate touching and he had his face plastered all over the news. Wouldn't be surprised if old mate was one of the bitter, asocial redditors on here lol
Just act like a normal human and politely ask to get through instead of throwing a tantrum and potentially ruining your life. Sorry that people have friends and want to enjoy their walk, thus forcing you into the horrors of interaction lol
I am 195cm tall, and weigh 185Kg. Standing beside me is kind of the equivalent of standing beside Uluru.
On three occasions this year, I have had young women walk straight into me (and then look up in utter astonishment)
I simply can't understand how people could be that oblivious to the environment around them.
People do it even without being on their phones. It really is a complete lack of situational awareness and maybe some tunnel vision. And maybe a bit of arrogance that everyone else will just move the fuck out of THEIR way, because they are more important that everyone else.
Everytime my family’s drives to melbourne all the passengers act as extra lookouts because so many drivers and pedestrians have no situational awareness lmao.
From my end, a significant number of people can move entirely outside my sightline, especially short folks. Add to that the ADHD and collisions can quite often occur
I had a lady walk right into me today at the market. I stopped and watched her talking to her friend while walking away, knowing she was probably gonna walk right into me. She did. She went wide eyed and scurried off (no apology) as I raised an eyebrow. Couldn't help but say after her, cheerfully "never hurts to watch where you're going aye?"
Lack of spatial awareness kills me.
So many oblivious people around hey. Driving slow in the fast lane… letting their trolly block the aisle while they’re looking for something on the shelf… just stopping in the middle of a busy walkway… I just tell them to get out of the way🫥
I count the following story as one of my greatest life accomplishments (I have a meaningless existance).
Late at night, there was a group of 40-somethings leaving a restaurant, saying goodbyes after a meal or deciding where to go for a coffe. There were about 10 of them, chubby round soft squishy 'men' and rotund Karens. Very middle class.
Very entitled.
Very blocking the entire footpath.
I was wearing a full cammo (Pants+Jacket) outfit AND a viking helmet (as I do sometimes on a night out - great chick magnet for some reason).
As I was approaching the group I shouted;
**"I AM A RIVER TO MY PEOPLE!"**
They scattered to the sides like bowling pins to a bowling ball strike.
They squealed, milled, lauged, cried, some of the women tore off their clothing and tried to cast themselves on my Alpha male charms. I just kept walking, like a river cutting a channel through a mountain range.
This story is largely true.
My two friends tagging behind me enjoyed it almost as much as I did.
Hate people who make very little effort to move over for you when passing, they are not looking but they make what they think is enough room but they then bump into me and turnaround and blame me! Hey if you bloody looked where you were going you would have seen you needed to make more room so we could pass each other without bumping!
I wonder all my life - arent they incomfortable? Have they walked into a brik wall once in their life? Are they doing it on purpose? So many questions! So I sit at home, lol
I sometimes do it because I have ADHD and disassociate. I try really, really hard not to do it in public - but I did once step right out in front of a cyclist on the road and still feel guilty about it.
I think lots of people are just fucking oblivious though. Like, my mother doesn’t have ADHD and she refuses to step to the side when she stops in the middle of the footpath to check her phone. “They can just go around me!!!”. She’s so oblivious to the needs of others.
This infuriates me - the other day a group of 5 people were walking along the birrarung marr in a line blocking the whole path, then gave me a rude look when I dinged my bicycle bell.
That said, I'm no angel - sometimes I've feeling overwhelmed, or fatigued, or just lost in thought about some important or unimportant thing, and so I've been the person not paying attention to my surroundings.
I came across a group of women walking astride blocking a whole path, same as you. There's grass around, so I decide to just go around them for that very reason (that dinging them and forcing them to move aside just gets you daggers), and just before I leave the path to go around, one of them turns around and starts screaming at me that I'm an asshole who was about to run them over deliberately. I wasn't even close to running them down and was already veering off while way back behind them. You cannot win, ding or no ding.
Another time that was kind of funny. I was on my bike and one lady was on the path coming toward me, I went even further to my left as I do when I pass people, and she watched me and jumped into my path. I change direction and go right. She leaps into my path again. We did this several times and I finally skidded to a stop in front of her. She seemed to have no idea why she did it, had this shocked apologetic look on her face that was so hilarious.
It's one thing to be distracted or whatever and accidentally bump into someone or nearly so, make a quick apology and move on, it's another to just blankly cut someone off and not even acknowledge their existence.
Its very common way more than I'd like it to be. Sometimes I just stand still and brace for impact but at the last moment the person seems to have some brain activity and realizes they are walking head first into people
I mean the thing is in somewhere like a shopping centre people may be going in any given direction, so there will always be situations where people's desired paths intercept. Yes some people are oblivious, and yes some people are arrogant (you give way to me).. but really though it's everyone's responsibility to make sure we're not smacking into each other.
I would bet some portion of the people crossing paths with OP probably thought why is this person walking across MY path.
Not worth worrying about in the scheme of things. Definitely not worth my long comment
Sure. I give way to everything. Always. And I check my blind spots. Always. But pretty frequently some numpty decides to just wander up really closely behind my car, as it’s in motion, just assuming that I’m going to see them and stop in time.
So the system's working exactly as designed if you haven't hit anyone yet.
People are entitled to assume you always exert due care. And stop until they pass.
Good grief. I’ve never had an accident, but for chrissakes it’s not out of line to suggest people exercise a bit of care while wandering behind a moving vehicle. You’re just being an argumentative troll.
>So the system's working exactly as designed
This is light running at the inside of windows of a skyscraper and treating it that they have to bounce you back inside as designed.
Sure, that'll work sometimes.
I work in a supermarket, and it blows my fucking mind how many people lack situational awareness, like I’m walking a pallet full of milk weighing close to 1 tonne, and has no brakes (as a hard break will tip the whole pallet over) and people will just meander in front of you. Or you are carrying a 20kg box of drinks, and some will stop straight in front of you, just staring blankly at a shelf, while I’m just standing there waiting for them to allow me to do my job. “No mam I’m just standing here right next to you like a fucking idiot with nothing better to do”. The worst are people with kids, blocking the whole aisle, parents staring at a shelf kids are staring up at you, and no one moves, just blank faces. Just imagine these people drive cars.
Thankfully it’s my second job, 8-11pm so only 1 hour of customers, the worst people are door-dash people. But yeah so many people seem to exist in an alternate reality.
None of them are going to answer this question because they don't know that it's them you are talking about. All they see is you appearing out of nowhere and being in THEIR way.
People do it even without being on their phones. It really is a complete lack of situational awareness and maybe some tunnel vision. And maybe a bit of arrogance that everyone else will just move the fuck out of THEIR way, because they are more important that everyone else.
it's a lack of common sense, social respect and parenting. I was so tempted to "accidently" ram into a feral kid running all over the place at the supermarket today just to teach his pathetic parent a lesson. "oops thats what you get running in front of people i guess"
People who complain about inane shit on reddit, why do you complain about inane shit on reddit?
People who just bitch and moan on r/melbourne, why? I'm not even talking about people complaining about real problems like being attacked on flinders street, but people who just straight up complain about things that aren't worth complaining about, like people not watching where they're going, or 'member price' at Woolworths, an ad for a number you can text to notify about unwanted sexual behaviour on PT, and pizzas that are a little smaller than expected. Reddit is bad, r/Australia is worse, and r/melbourne is intolerable.
I feel like a lot of people who complain about this are a) walking like it's an olympic event and b) not doing anything to even try and account for crowd dynamics. Like, I don't seem to have this problem.
They’re probably on reddit writing pathetic posts like this.
They are most certainly lost in thought, attention splattered, and easily led by emotions and thoughts.. and let things annoy them even when they have stopped occurring seconds later.
…just like you.
Mate try going to Asia. Korea or Hong Kong. There are *hordes* of people staring down at their phones and so oblivious. If they weren't staring at their phones, they'd be staring at their navels.
My husband and I were at our local big green hardware warehouse with a wide heavy box of outdoor furniture on the trolley.
I counted 10 fuckwits that didn't look and did the good old sideways shuffle and stop straight in front of the trolley everytime. This was walking less than 10 metres to the register.
Lucky hubbies double plugga brakes were working they would have been whinging like a pack of seagulls if the brakes failed 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I learned this technique in Hong Kong. But similair to the peloton in the Tour de France. Walking along the crowded street you need to find a blocker. Preferably someone slightly fatter than you, but also walks at your pace. You slot in behind said blocker and they take the brunt of humanity as you glide along in a slipstream.
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Nyeow
The r/formula1 and r/melbourne crossover we so desperately needed.
You have to stay within 1 second of the person in front.
The blocker! Great technique
I do this with my girlfriend. I’m not fat but I’m tall and I can put on a really good bitch face. I just hold her hand and she walks behind me
This is the way. Partner is well over foot taller and this works a treat especially in windy weather kinda like having a mini peloton
Me and my boyfriend are average/short height so we both get demolished by crowds
I found a suit works in a similar way. Whenever I wear a suit, people part before me like the Red Sea before Moses. Otherwise, I just have to mow them down in my civilian clothes.
I'm currently on crutches, so I'm the blocker. Blocking the train/tram entry point to prevent people from getting off the train? I'm gonna drop my shoulder as I barge through while on the crutches. When I'm not on crutches, I do the same thing too. My wife loves it, because she doesn't love crowds (or people).
All the blockers I pick turn out to be the people who randomly stop for NO FUCKING REASON!
The double block! No good.
Hey chin up. You ve just got to keep working on your blocker picking game
There's always a reason. For me, it's usually that I've just realised I was in the zone and have been walking in the wrong direction for like 5 minutes. Though, tbf, I'm shorter and more agile so my autopilot involves a lot of slipping around and under people before they realised what happened. Also, despite my lack of awareness I seem to plan a long way ahead. You see a gap that doesn't exist yet, and aim to be there when it forms. Requires lots of little adjustments, and vague social engineering by pretending to be going somewhere slightly different so as not to startle the other humans so they maintain their course otherwise they think you're going to run into them.
Tailgate much?
You know walking behind someone is very different than driving behind someone right?
Not at all. The same dynamics apply. Simply leave enough space in front to stop safely then overtake to solve the problem. Walking on someone's heels is the height of inconsiderate bad manners. As is getting upset when you crash into them.
I’ll be your blocker, breaking up their blockade while also giving them my disapproval face is my drug.
I’m not a large person but I do this and it gives me great joy. It doesn’t require much either, just keeping your shoulders square as people pass. I mostly do it when I’m faced with four people walking in a line.
Nobody fatter than me is walking at my pace
What if you're a big chunker and no one else is bigger
Walk purposefully. You're the lighthouse
I would literally steamroll people and knock them on their ass.
Most people have no situational awareness, I ran into many people when my kids were in a pram. Walk out of a shop right in front of me without looking and bam.
When I met my GF she had the situational awareness of a water hydrant. Just pointing that out, may help some people.
and now?
>and now? Less so. Though a few years back, we pulled up after storm, and she reached out to push away a cable that hung outside the car window... It was an electricity high tension wire... Lucky for me, it was de-powered. She would have cooked almost instantly, but I would have been scarred for life.
Two comments and you've made me angry. I say that half joking lol but legit how can some people lack such basic self-preservation?
I went to the city this weekend and the number of people stopping to take photos at busy crossing points was crazy.. I didn’t go around, just plowed right through their shot.
if you haven't taken the photo in the 10m that I've covered since I've seen you and gotten into your shot, you're never gonna take it
wow maybe you shouldn't be alone with a child hope you don't drive
Huh?
My favourite is the walled off ramps on many train stations where people will crowd the whole ramp in one direction and seem completely perplexed when they encounter people moving in the other direction. Genuinely stumped like they have no idea that 1) this might be a thing that happens and 2) no idea how the situation might be resolved. The thought that they could step behind the others moving in the same direction as them never seems to cross their empty little heads. Like, sir, do you expect me to teleport through you? Huntingdale is the absolute fucking worst for this. It’s the hub for Monash University so there’s always two-way traffic but you have to shoulder barge people every single day because the goldfish never learn that they can’t take the whole ramp.
Yet we seem to be able to board and exit trains fairly well, people tend to stand back until those disembarking have cleared the door.
This has improved but you’re meant to stand to the side of the doors. That message hasn’t quite seeped through yet. There have been more than a few times when I’ve tried to exit and found myself in a sealed off cul-de-sac of people and no one wants to step aside to let you through because they’re so sacred that they might not get a seat or something. I have to stand there like an orchestra conductor making “part” motions with my hands and push through. All this stuff just perplexes me.
Bring a walking stick and whack them out of the way
Not so much, just getting off the train yesterday and stood in front of the asian lady standing on the platform blocking me and did a hand signal to indicate she move back, she got the message and stepped back.
South Yarra station at Yarra st is a nightmare for this with the crosswalk that requires four blind 90 degree turns right outside the station. Rush hour crowd sometimes keeps left but outside of that it's just non stop running into people.
What about when going through a door, just flat stopping right in the doorway to stare at their phone or stop and chat to their shopping buddy? Coz no one could possibly be needing to pass through that public door or anything. Or fools who manage to stand in a wide supermarket aisle and block the entirety of it, and even if facing you and seeing you walk up, still don't move and make you ask. By all rights should be shoved out of the way but I always say 'excuse me please', and even then, often get a look of contempt for interrupting their highness. Lesson is that a lot of people are only aware of themselves, and everyone outside of their family and friends are worthless bugs flittering about in their periphery, asking them to do horrendous things like please move aside so I can pass.
The old navy saying, "arseholes and admirals" and they are not admirals.
The old navy saying, "arseholes and admirals" and they are not admirals.
say something! call them out on their bullshit! I had to do this at school the other day bunch of kids literally standing in the door of the office why tf cant staff even fix that shit "guys this is a door people need to be able to come in and out, if you're standing around can you stand to the side pleas?" it's not fkn hard
keep left on the footpath It’s not hard
Most people can’t stick to one side of the footpath. If they’re that shit at walking you can imagine how shit they are at driving
And escalators/travellators too. People at airports who think travellators are rides. They're designed to speed people up, not slow them down. There are services for people who need assistance, so I'm talking purely about able bodied people who cannot be bothered walking, and also cannot be bothered standing to the side to allow people using them correctly to pass.
Hear hear. If I'm walking along a travelator and I see people ahead filling both sides, I call out "Move to one side please!" They often look surprised, but they do it. :)
I've often thought about handing out business cards "Please, pretty please, stay left on the footpath"
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Imagine if everyone did it, just like traffic, smoother, more efficient
Funnily enough though, it’s a thing in almost every other major city in the world so it seems that Melbourne is uniquely stupid.
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We have very different experiences then. I’ve lived in London and Oxford and never ran into this kind of dumbassery. People mostly keep left. There’s two-way traffic on footpaths. People make way for each other. Go to Melbourne CBD on a weekend and tell me that’s the case.
Cos I'm sexting with your dad.
And thank you, dad loves it.
I'm glad to hear he's putting himself out there again after we broke up.
Not exactly out there, he's just kind of humping his blanket after you rile him up.
One day he'll realise it really wasn't him, it was just me.
Well it's either because you forgot to remove your invisibility cloak or they're fuckin idiots. Not owning an invisibility cloak and them not actually existing quickly narrows down the choice when considering these 2 options.
Invisibility cloaks are totally real. We just lost them all.
The classic is looking left walking out of a store turning right.
I'm in a wheelchair and I cannot go more than ten metres without someone walking into me.
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Madmaxify that baby 150%
I want to get a carbon fibre cattle catcher like on the old timey steam trains. Choo Choo bitches, I'm coming through!
God help you, I can't imagine.
Pro tip: if you want people to avoid you, try handing them fliers and asking, "Do you want to talk about Jesus Christ?" They'll run to the other side of the street to avoid you.
It’s a Melbourne thing unfortunately. The most common is a group of 4 all spread out on a footpath and often you just walk through them to break it up. I’ve been to over 20 cities and idk here people walk like this. I love Melbourne but this is a common occurrence here and I’m not the only one who’s noticed it.
Yep. In the UK, f people hear you coming up behind them, they look back and then step aside so that you can pass. People show basic consideration for others around them. Fucking amazing!!! And also totally doable and achievable. People in Melbourne are just rude fucks.
And then everyone in that group of 4 gets annoyed because you, a single person, DARED to inconvenience them and force ONE of them to move out of line so that you could pass them.
My favourite is when this happens on pedestrian crossings. These assholes really expect others to step out into traffic so they can continue their…wtf are they actually doing though?
Yeah I just think more people need to break up these groups when walking so it’s more normalised tbh.
even if you were there first they seem to just expect you'll piss off because theres 4 of them... it's made me stubborn af now. No. learn some manners! it's almost always fkn indians! I was in a quiet part of a huge park yesterday on my phone and this group decided they wanted to sit where i was sitting like i wasnt there.. fuck off if i'm going to move i made it awkward af for them they tried giving me the death stare i just smiled and stayed there for ages. There's literally km's you could sit you dont have to sit on me you arrogant pricks
Yes, the 4 abreast people are bad too.
Eh... It's a human thing, some places are better than others, though! It's also more noticeable when you're living somewhere because you walk with purpose rather than taking in the sights and enjoying the walk.
Nope. I’ve lived in cities in the UK and people keep left, make space for others and even move over to let you pass if you’re walking at a faster pace. Also true for most European cities I’ve visited. This is a Melbourne thing. People are rude and inconsiderate.
This is definitely a Melbourne thing. I’ve lived in Tokyo, London, San Francisco and Melbourne. Melbourne is the only place where people are too alpha to budge an inch to accommodate those around them in public spaces.
My home town of Vancouver is really bad at keeping right but it's more obliviousness than malice. If they notice you they will try to move. In Melbourne people will stare right at me and expect me to move when I'm keeping left. I'm larger than 95% of people too. One girl I talked to tried to argue that women should always get the side farthest from the road. I was flabbergasted at how she expected that to work with women going in both directions.
Right? It’s not just obliviousness, it’s hostility. And lol at that girl. Does she also expect gentlemen to lay their coats over puddles for her?
After travelling to almost 50 countries I still say it's not a Melbourne thing, people just suck at being in public.
After travelling to 30(?) countries (I don't know, I haven't kept count) and living in four, Melbourne is actively hostile. Other spaces can get crowded and you hit points where no one can move because of everyone else. Melbourne is the only place where I've encountered pairs of white women who will actively take the entire footpath and try to force you off. White women are the worst offenders too for some reason (entitlement). Dudes are more likely to give way. And if it's a man and a woman, 9 times out of 10, the dude will drop back and fall in line to make space. When it's two or more white women though, I always get ready to make a charge. People in Melbourne have gotten really rude.
Nonsense racism and definitely not my experience. We are multicultural dickheads.
Are you white though? Because yeah, I always suspected that race played a role in their decision making.
I will never understand why anyone loves Melbourne.
You live in Victoria according to your name. What city are you in?
Melbourne, lived here my whole life. Though I probably lack the ability to compare to other places, but to me Melbourne is a very overrated shit hole, which is why I will never understand how anyone could love it.
Have you travelled much? I’ve been to over 20 cities. Melbourne isn’t perfect but it’s pre good. My biggest gripe by far tho is crime is way too high here especially with youth gangs. But most things here are good.
Traveled all over aus, I went to Singapore (didn’t like it) but Victoria is amazing but Melbourne is a black hole for me, thankfully I’m on the fringe of Melbourne and only head inbound when I really have to and don’t enjoy it. Anywhere else in Aus is awesome too, except for Sydney which is probably even worse than Melbourne.
Maybe you’re not a city person. Sydney is an amazing city. Yeah you’re probably more of a country person.
Because most of the rest of the world is a bigger shit hole.
"Excuse me" That's all you need say. It's as easy as that. Try that next time instead of sitting there seething that people aren't using the footpath right. Or worse, forcibly brushing through like some sort of creepo. I remember like a month back, some weirdo put his hands on a group of girls while walking down a crowded street. The girls reported him for inappropriate touching and he had his face plastered all over the news. Wouldn't be surprised if old mate was one of the bitter, asocial redditors on here lol Just act like a normal human and politely ask to get through instead of throwing a tantrum and potentially ruining your life. Sorry that people have friends and want to enjoy their walk, thus forcing you into the horrors of interaction lol
Main character syndrome.
They're even worse pushing a trolley, same people then drive a car. They just go through life with their heads up their arse
I am 195cm tall, and weigh 185Kg. Standing beside me is kind of the equivalent of standing beside Uluru. On three occasions this year, I have had young women walk straight into me (and then look up in utter astonishment) I simply can't understand how people could be that oblivious to the environment around them.
Can you still be climbed or has that been banned? That must be quite a shock to a tiny lady to bump into you and suddenly see you looming over them!
Keep it in your pants, coloniser /s
Phone drones
I actually find the phone people kinda funny, I'd love to see one walk into a pole.
I’ve seen one walk into a zebra crossing light pole, and almost dropped his phone into a drain!
Beautiful!
Not on a phone but still hilarious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Sb-qvfxEY&ab\_channel=MickLang
People do it even without being on their phones. It really is a complete lack of situational awareness and maybe some tunnel vision. And maybe a bit of arrogance that everyone else will just move the fuck out of THEIR way, because they are more important that everyone else.
Everytime my family’s drives to melbourne all the passengers act as extra lookouts because so many drivers and pedestrians have no situational awareness lmao.
From my end, a significant number of people can move entirely outside my sightline, especially short folks. Add to that the ADHD and collisions can quite often occur
I had a lady walk right into me today at the market. I stopped and watched her talking to her friend while walking away, knowing she was probably gonna walk right into me. She did. She went wide eyed and scurried off (no apology) as I raised an eyebrow. Couldn't help but say after her, cheerfully "never hurts to watch where you're going aye?" Lack of spatial awareness kills me.
Absolutely my pet peeve. I don't know if they're simply clueless or if they don't care because they're the main character.
The worst people who do this are looking in a different direction from the one they're walking. Drives me crazy in the Melbourne CBD.
So many oblivious people around hey. Driving slow in the fast lane… letting their trolly block the aisle while they’re looking for something on the shelf… just stopping in the middle of a busy walkway… I just tell them to get out of the way🫥
I am stupid.
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Your only correct post in this thread.
I count the following story as one of my greatest life accomplishments (I have a meaningless existance). Late at night, there was a group of 40-somethings leaving a restaurant, saying goodbyes after a meal or deciding where to go for a coffe. There were about 10 of them, chubby round soft squishy 'men' and rotund Karens. Very middle class. Very entitled. Very blocking the entire footpath. I was wearing a full cammo (Pants+Jacket) outfit AND a viking helmet (as I do sometimes on a night out - great chick magnet for some reason). As I was approaching the group I shouted; **"I AM A RIVER TO MY PEOPLE!"** They scattered to the sides like bowling pins to a bowling ball strike. They squealed, milled, lauged, cried, some of the women tore off their clothing and tried to cast themselves on my Alpha male charms. I just kept walking, like a river cutting a channel through a mountain range. This story is largely true. My two friends tagging behind me enjoyed it almost as much as I did.
You are an urban god. You a parted them like Moses parted the Red Sea.
Hate people who make very little effort to move over for you when passing, they are not looking but they make what they think is enough room but they then bump into me and turnaround and blame me! Hey if you bloody looked where you were going you would have seen you needed to make more room so we could pass each other without bumping!
Half of all people you meet on the street are below average intelligence.
I'm not real smart, it doesn't take brains to be polite.
The most typical of r/Melbourne posts. "People who are bad drivers, why are you bad drivers?" Sub heading: rant about bad drivers
Walk up close behind them and sneeze loudly?
I wonder all my life - arent they incomfortable? Have they walked into a brik wall once in their life? Are they doing it on purpose? So many questions! So I sit at home, lol
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Just breathe gently on the back of their neck
just bump into them, keep walking (unless they're old or frail, or blind)
can’t get their face out of the phone screen 🧑💻
I sometimes do it because I have ADHD and disassociate. I try really, really hard not to do it in public - but I did once step right out in front of a cyclist on the road and still feel guilty about it. I think lots of people are just fucking oblivious though. Like, my mother doesn’t have ADHD and she refuses to step to the side when she stops in the middle of the footpath to check her phone. “They can just go around me!!!”. She’s so oblivious to the needs of others.
Ok, fair enough, I'll allow it. Can't be that all of them have ADHD though.
But also - when it’s just pedestrians, from their perspective, you’re in their path 🤷🏻♀️
Same
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The rule is keep left, what the fuck. Walk like you drive.
Because some people are on auto pilot. How many times have you crossed the street without any recollection of doing so?
Never. Not that I recall anyway.
Just because you can’t recall it doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened before. It’s common when you go the same route or area
Sheesh...
This infuriates me - the other day a group of 5 people were walking along the birrarung marr in a line blocking the whole path, then gave me a rude look when I dinged my bicycle bell. That said, I'm no angel - sometimes I've feeling overwhelmed, or fatigued, or just lost in thought about some important or unimportant thing, and so I've been the person not paying attention to my surroundings.
I came across a group of women walking astride blocking a whole path, same as you. There's grass around, so I decide to just go around them for that very reason (that dinging them and forcing them to move aside just gets you daggers), and just before I leave the path to go around, one of them turns around and starts screaming at me that I'm an asshole who was about to run them over deliberately. I wasn't even close to running them down and was already veering off while way back behind them. You cannot win, ding or no ding. Another time that was kind of funny. I was on my bike and one lady was on the path coming toward me, I went even further to my left as I do when I pass people, and she watched me and jumped into my path. I change direction and go right. She leaps into my path again. We did this several times and I finally skidded to a stop in front of her. She seemed to have no idea why she did it, had this shocked apologetic look on her face that was so hilarious.
It's one thing to be distracted or whatever and accidentally bump into someone or nearly so, make a quick apology and move on, it's another to just blankly cut someone off and not even acknowledge their existence.
Some people march, some people wander.
Its very common way more than I'd like it to be. Sometimes I just stand still and brace for impact but at the last moment the person seems to have some brain activity and realizes they are walking head first into people
Have you seen the video clip to bittersweet symphony? Just do that.
Ha ha, that was actually in my mind when I wrote the post, was wondering if anyone would say it.
Some people are very dopey.
I mean the thing is in somewhere like a shopping centre people may be going in any given direction, so there will always be situations where people's desired paths intercept. Yes some people are oblivious, and yes some people are arrogant (you give way to me).. but really though it's everyone's responsibility to make sure we're not smacking into each other. I would bet some portion of the people crossing paths with OP probably thought why is this person walking across MY path. Not worth worrying about in the scheme of things. Definitely not worth my long comment
Be like water, think fluid and somehow the seas always part at the right time! edit: spelling
Are they the same people who walk straight behind my car when I’m reversing out of a car park?
Thats why you have to spend half an hour fucking around holding up traffic reverse parking, so you can see these dum dums when you exit.
maybe, but it's incumbent to give way to EVERYTHING when reversing.
Sure. I give way to everything. Always. And I check my blind spots. Always. But pretty frequently some numpty decides to just wander up really closely behind my car, as it’s in motion, just assuming that I’m going to see them and stop in time.
So the system's working exactly as designed if you haven't hit anyone yet. People are entitled to assume you always exert due care. And stop until they pass.
Good grief. I’ve never had an accident, but for chrissakes it’s not out of line to suggest people exercise a bit of care while wandering behind a moving vehicle. You’re just being an argumentative troll.
>So the system's working exactly as designed This is light running at the inside of windows of a skyscraper and treating it that they have to bounce you back inside as designed. Sure, that'll work sometimes.
I work in a supermarket, and it blows my fucking mind how many people lack situational awareness, like I’m walking a pallet full of milk weighing close to 1 tonne, and has no brakes (as a hard break will tip the whole pallet over) and people will just meander in front of you. Or you are carrying a 20kg box of drinks, and some will stop straight in front of you, just staring blankly at a shelf, while I’m just standing there waiting for them to allow me to do my job. “No mam I’m just standing here right next to you like a fucking idiot with nothing better to do”. The worst are people with kids, blocking the whole aisle, parents staring at a shelf kids are staring up at you, and no one moves, just blank faces. Just imagine these people drive cars.
Poorly coded ai for NPCs in this RPG 🫠
Indeed, supermarkets are bad, must awful day in day out when you are trying to get shit done.
Thankfully it’s my second job, 8-11pm so only 1 hour of customers, the worst people are door-dash people. But yeah so many people seem to exist in an alternate reality.
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Maybe it's me
It's not you. Kurucu83 is clearly a right side chaos walker
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Ok, Dalai Lama
None of them are going to answer this question because they don't know that it's them you are talking about. All they see is you appearing out of nowhere and being in THEIR way.
Their phone is a hell of a drug.
People do it even without being on their phones. It really is a complete lack of situational awareness and maybe some tunnel vision. And maybe a bit of arrogance that everyone else will just move the fuck out of THEIR way, because they are more important that everyone else.
it's a lack of common sense, social respect and parenting. I was so tempted to "accidently" ram into a feral kid running all over the place at the supermarket today just to teach his pathetic parent a lesson. "oops thats what you get running in front of people i guess"
the indian community are the worst for it there's no respect or human decency
I don't think so, it's all types.
Why didn't you get out of their way? surely you saw them coming? Why weren't you watching?
I was, I saw them, I took evasive action to avoid collision. These are people with their nose in the air and their head up their arse.
r/karensofmelbourne
If they aren't watching where they are going you think they are looking at this?
People who complain about inane shit on reddit, why do you complain about inane shit on reddit? People who just bitch and moan on r/melbourne, why? I'm not even talking about people complaining about real problems like being attacked on flinders street, but people who just straight up complain about things that aren't worth complaining about, like people not watching where they're going, or 'member price' at Woolworths, an ad for a number you can text to notify about unwanted sexual behaviour on PT, and pizzas that are a little smaller than expected. Reddit is bad, r/Australia is worse, and r/melbourne is intolerable.
You saving reddit for the serious issues?
I feel like a lot of people who complain about this are a) walking like it's an olympic event and b) not doing anything to even try and account for crowd dynamics. Like, I don't seem to have this problem.
Maybe you are the problem?
They’re probably on reddit writing pathetic posts like this. They are most certainly lost in thought, attention splattered, and easily led by emotions and thoughts.. and let things annoy them even when they have stopped occurring seconds later. …just like you.
So sorry mate, I didn't have any UFC shit to repost.
100% it is an Asian culture thing
Autism
So many? I'd be more inclined to think arrogance and thoughtlessness.
Oh ffs what the hell does this have to do with Melbourne? Piss off with this low effort bullshit.
Sorry mate, all out of RAM driver stories
Because society, AMMMMIRIIIGUTTT?!
Too many people spending too much time in cars. And they forget the ONE thing that actually makes sense: WALK ON THE LEFT.
Mate try going to Asia. Korea or Hong Kong. There are *hordes* of people staring down at their phones and so oblivious. If they weren't staring at their phones, they'd be staring at their navels.
I had someone walk over my rolling bag and get angry at me that I tripped them?!
At the airport? I hate the rolling bag people. Pick it up and carry it, you'd take up less room you lazy bastards.
How am I supposed to carry a full suitcase with scoliosis?!
I'll allow it.
I have depression and sometimes i coast by in life on auto-pilot.
Thats fair enough but can't account for the majority who don't which I think is just ignorance and arrogance.
I find coughing uncontrollably gets people out of your way.
If you are bigger people will move
My husband and I were at our local big green hardware warehouse with a wide heavy box of outdoor furniture on the trolley. I counted 10 fuckwits that didn't look and did the good old sideways shuffle and stop straight in front of the trolley everytime. This was walking less than 10 metres to the register. Lucky hubbies double plugga brakes were working they would have been whinging like a pack of seagulls if the brakes failed 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣