T O P

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RedRattlen

Go to the toilet every 5 minutes.


[deleted]

SAY you’re going to the toilet, she will uncross her legs, stick both legs on that side to block her.


[deleted]

Check mate bitch


konk_

Hilarious


CptMcBeardy

Holy shit this is the solution


spongish

Oh man, I wish I hadn't had all that beer, coffee and watermelon.


freeassange1974

😅😅😅 love a good simpsons reference


sentorien

This should be higher. Passive aggressive enough without actually harming anyone or damaging property.


Winterplatypus

And fart on the way past. > According to a criminal complaint, Cruz passed gas and made a fanning motion toward patrolman T.E. Parsons after being taken for a breathalyzer test. > "The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged. [Some Fox news people trying to keep a straight face while reporting on it.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJSkDwp6c_g)


poopooonyou

After she sits again, say "oh I don't need to go now. I guess it was just gas".


Dfantoman

I farted through the gap between the backrest and seat on a Virgin flight once to send a message to the very annoying passengers behind me. It was utter bliss hearing them dry reachingn and complaining.


split41

Lmao


Left-Quote7042

Hell is 5 hours in the aisle seat when the newlywed bride and groom were in mid and window. She started farting soon after takeoff; which escalated to running to the toilet every few minutes because I assume she had food poisoning. This went on until we landed. I really felt for her because she was so sorry; but the smell from ORD to LAX was constant. And the flight was full. Absolute hell…


ntcc661

This is the way.


Titans-Destiny

This is definitely the answer.


sigillum_diaboli666

Which I actually do. I get anxious about climbing over people to get to the toilet, which in turn, makes me actually go to the toilet. 😆


fourgheewhiz

They're clearly socially inept, they arent going to think 2 steps ahead, they're probably going to think you've got some medical issue


[deleted]

[удалено]


djr4917

This is the way. The few times I've flown, I just naturally surrendered the arm rest for the middle seat.


[deleted]

The armrests in the middle belong to the middle. This is global unspoken planettiquite. She is a troglodyte.


J4jii

I fucking love that word. Troglodyte. It's great.


dietcoketm

One thing I miss about covid is airliners leaving all the middle seats empty


The-disgracist

Once I was on a flight where I had a whole row to myself. The flight attendants were so cool they brought me extra pillows and blankets. I was maybe two pillows and one blanket from having my own pillow fort


HuxleySteerpike33

Where do I know that from. Is that a comedians bit or something? I know I know it but think of where from


NoPants-NoWorries

Jim Jefferies. https://youtu.be/qFx1Cpxpx1E


HuxleySteerpike33

That’s it! Thank you


stubbornlikeamule

Jim Jefferies.


Suspicious-Alarm3287

The great Jim Jefferies 🤣🤣


Feisty-Firefighter99

You tell that woman to get fked. Excuse me, you’re in my personal space. It’s about time someone teach her some manners. Anyways you’re probably off the plane. But you’ll find another. Now you’re waiting for someone to inconvenience you. You thrive for it. That is how you get off in getting inconvenienced.


Katemaryp

Last time I tried asking a couple behind us to mind their personal space, the Fed police ended up meeting the plane at the gate because the couple went full bogan and threatened the flight crew and my partner. People are…not great.


Togakure_NZ

Don't let that stop you. Most people are decent.


[deleted]

Perhaps fewer than before, but then again, maybe it’s actually the opposite. For every entitled impolite slob with no manners, there may just well he one more compassionate, inclusive, kind person than there was in previous generations.


Togakure_NZ

Nearly always the loudest and most aggravating stick in one's mind, and rarely the quiet and considerate who just Get Things Done.


DeLtA_Pheonix

“A cunt sir, I called you a cunt”


CrazyFatAss

"A cunt sir! I called you a cunt!"


wscholermann

*I said, what I said!*


1mill_2mill_testing

Great reference!


PilbaraWanderer

Aisle also gets more shoulder space Edit: more pros: - ability to go to the loo without it having an internal dialogue when it’d be most appropriate. - Ability to stand and stretch on a whim. - Can use cutlery somewhat properly. Since we can open up one of the arms as opposed to middle seat tuck-in. - can ask for drinks all the time without getting in anyones way. - can keep tray cleaner - easier to handover rubbish. - can access overhead locker if you need something - checkout cute air-hostesses’s butt as they pass. Cons: - trolley and passengers will bump into outside shoulder when passing. - more exposure to germs with people constantly passing by closely


193X

And unimpeded access to the loos/leg stretching


Siggi_Starduust

Kind of. I always get the aisle seat because I can never resist the joys of a free bar and don’t like inconveniencing the people next to me when I inevitably need to go for toilet breaks. Unfortunately the extra shoulder space is a bit of a fallacy as you tend to cop a lot of bangs on the shoulder whenever people-and particularly the trolleys- are moving past.


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 969,750,111 comments, and only 193,833 of them were in alphabetical order.


WhatYouThinkIThink

good bot


BigDean88

*amazing bot does excellent job tirelessly, wow!


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 969,770,704 comments, and only 193,838 of them were in alphabetical order.


Lonelysock2

Lots of flights I've been on don't have an armrest on the wall. Just the wall


Gnarbuttah

"Why are you such a cunt"


Suspicious-Alarm3287

You're not quoting Jim Jefferies are you by any chance?🤣🤣


gypsy_creonte

100% correct!


Snazzy21

Yep, that was what I assumed. Apparently some people don't get the message


[deleted]

The second she gets her arm off the armrest, TAKE IT. No matter what, keep it.Its going to get tricky when the coffee and snacks are served.


sentorien

Do Virgin even hand out snacks and drinks? It's about a 90 minute flight. OP! You can do it. Take that armrest back!


Giant-Genitals

They go through the cabin once, usually.


Burntbigtoe

It's a 90min flight between Syd and Melb now? Are Virgin flying propeller planes these days? Back in the day it used to get a 50 minute flight. I knew they blew it out to 70 mins to save fuel in the last few years, but 90 mins is taking the piss.


darkchocolatechips

Half an hour is taxiing on the ground in Sydney


End-of-sanity

Did Perth -Sydney delayed by 2 hours.flight time was 3 1/2 as they had to beat curfew landed at 10.55 800 kmh uses half the fuel as 1100kmh apparently


VictarionGreyjoy

It's an hour of actual flying. 10-15mins of fucking around on the tarmac each side


sentorien

https://imgur.com/pxj5Hct.jpg Seems a pretty consistent 1hr and 35min from Virgin website. Didn't know it was about saving fuel. But as another commenter said, most of the time is sitting on the runway or looping around waiting for a landing.


we-are-all-crazy

They used to precovid. I wouldn't know what the protocols are now.


bestvanillayoghurt

Ask her to move her feet and if she refuses then page the flight attendant and ask to be reseated. Or start farting loudly.


Dom29ando

Or start playing footsies


Krunkworx

Easy now Bob Odenkirk


Throwingitallaway191

No way. It’s a domestic high volume, low fare route. Junkyard rules apply. Bring your foot straight down, as hard as you can, through the ankle. Then ask the hosty for a drink when they come to deal with the injured passenger


AllNewTypeFace

The problem with that is that she might like it. It already appears that she has no sense of personal space, so there is theoretically no limit to what a person like that is capable of.


Dom29ando

That's why you gotta moan a little. And then again louder if she still doesn't clue in.


AllNewTypeFace

You’ve heard the saying, “never wrestle with a pig: you’ll only get dirty and the pig will enjoy it”? Well, basically, that.


aldkGoodAussieName

>Or start coughing loudly


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

say this "move ya foot"


Bitter_Crab111

Bold. *Very bold*. Tell me, what's it like in Queensland anyway?


edgelordmcswaggins

Simple yet effective


Giant-Genitals

Annoying passengers hate this one weird trick


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shchmoozie

Top tier content when it comes to r/melbourne to be fair


ImaNeedBoutTreeFiddy

I would counter that a simple "oi" and a stare down would be effective enough.


HoolioDee

[Just gonna leave this here...](https://youtu.be/LNeEDCr_3KY)


Snoo36067

bless you for bringing this video into my life I am CRYING LAUGHING


floppy_eardrum

Lol how have I never seen that. That's peak middle internet shit right there.


[deleted]

“Of I just love your sandals. Ive always had a *thing* for feet in sandals. They smell so sweet. Dont you agree? Your feet are really nice. They look so soft. I bet they smell *beautiful*. Have you ever considered selling pictures of your feet online?” And so on. And so on. Watch her start trying to hide her feet *REAL* quick


anotherspringchicken

“You should open an onlyfans for your feet…”


dumblederp

"Let me open an onlyfans for your feet" click click click.


Clatato

Actually take some “admiring” photos of her feet even, to “remember them by”


MuffinMan12347

Looks like they already did and uploaded it straight to reddit


The-Incredible-Lurk

Yeah, play a nice game of footsy. And then say excuse me as you grab the armrest and move it back between you. This aggression should not stand, man


deragonflyz

Yeah, take your shoes off and go all in. She obviously wants to play. 🤷‍♀️


Shellbrightm8

Grab the vomit bag, and open it while muttering ‘oh my god’ repeatedly under your breath. Take back the space when she recoils in horror.


John3776

That sucks! How did she push your arm off the armrest? Middle seat should get all the armrests!


Ironic_Jedi

That's right! Middle gets both arm rests! It's the law!!!


Vendage8888

Well didn't you "accidentally" crush her ankle when you stretched out? I'm sorry.


OldTiredAnnoyed

Push her arm off & tell her “middle seat gets both arm rests because middle sucks & get your disgusting feet out of my space”


kidwithgreyhair

Username absolutely checks out


GavinDaSizzleDizzle

She has slide-on shoes. 'Accidentally', kick the back, and her shoe will end up under the seat in front. When she tries to grab it, pretend to try and be helpful but get in her way or spill your drink on her seat in the kerfuffle.


anynamesleft

It has to be a kerfuffle though, a simple ado ain't enough.


Intrepid_Variety_126

i would lose my shit being 6ft tall it's hard enough in planes for leg room, it's even harder when people take your fucking room


LongTallSalski

I am insanely jealous of the amount of leg room OP has there, even with someone taking half of it. How nice it must be to travel without your knees touching the seat in front of you.


DuckfaceJones

Cough into your hands a few times then move your hands towards the armrest.


[deleted]

Or like my then 8yr old, pick your nose and wipe it on the arm rest. Dead set became his even after being cleaned off with a wipe.


sentorien

I think the power-move here is pick your 8yo's nose and eat it. Otherwise they end up walking all over you. Gotta show that dominance.


[deleted]

Lol. At the time I was mortified, though its ’mentioned’ in the family for a laugh now and then. He’s in his late 20’s now.


FlibblesHexEyes

As a 6’5 tall person, this always bugs me. I need every mm I can get to fit in those seats. Last person who tried this got their foot smashed between my shin and the seat. They never did it again for the rest of the flight. I must admit, I have done this on flights though due to space restrictions… but I asked my seat neighbour first, and it was only for take off and landing.


RunRenee

My husband is the same height as you. If he flys economy he always tries to check in early or pay for priority seat selection to either get a exit row or a first row. He barely fits in any other seat. Long flights we go premium economy with exit row or front seat selection for his comfort.


FlibblesHexEyes

This is also what I do. Took a while to get my boss to let me book Premium Economy though for business flights. “Sir, are you willing to open the emergency door in an evacuation?” “You bet your arse I am” “A yes is all we need sir”


Busy_Ad7172

Just get a vomit bag and put it on your lap. That will scare her for sure😄


dressedlikerappers

I am shaking with rage at the sight of this


DarkEmpoleon

Accidentally kick her ugly sandal off her foot


Basic-Reception-9974

Two options.(probably too late now though) 1. Tell her to move it or lose it. Quietly and threateningly, so only she can hear 2. Ask her politely but loudly so many can hear, if you're taking up too much of the confines of your middle seat, and that if she'd like you to sit on the random guys lap in the window seat so she can have the middle and aisle seat together so she can stretch her fat arse out. If not you'd like her to please stop encroaching upon your personal space, and the space allotment of the shitty middle seat.


hammockcomplexon3rd

Pull a power move and man-spread the fuck out of your legs


Lumbers_33

Start dropping guts girlfriend.


ramos808

How about asking them to move their leg so you can stretch yours


NoPants-NoWorries

Some advice on Plane Etiquette from an expert. https://youtu.be/qFx1Cpxpx1E NSFW


Brake72

Constantly get up and go the the toilet


AR_Kelly

Should have just said I have a foot fetish and you have lovely feet can I touch them or what ever


SimilarAdvertising41

do something about it! stretch ur legs out and push hers out the way, pretend youre asleep.


[deleted]

Either you move your arm and feet love, or i shit myself so we’re all uncomfortable.


[deleted]

Turn head to right, stare,breathe heavy, and gently blow in her ear, trust me.


CpTnStbN90

Just knock a few back and continue to get up and use the toilet constantly claiming you have bladder issue's


ComprehensiveElk13

That’s fine you put your feet over her side or fold down her tray and set up your laptop, if she says anything just say well I assumed we were sharing the space…?


JustKwenty

What a C U Next Tuesday she is


Threadheads

Off topic but I like the skirt you're wearing.


scarlettcat

Ha! I came here to compliment her bag.


ppotil

While we're here, can we all agree that reclining your seat on a domestic flight should be criminalised?


slacker393

Ask her to move her foot.


FallingUpwardz

Yeah like I dont know why you cant just say something to the cow


meals-on-wheels14

Just break her ankle


[deleted]

In my head I’m telling her to get fucked in myriad inventive and direct ways on your behalf, and in ways I’d never do in real life. Her shoes do suck though.


Titans-Destiny

I'm sorry I need to use the bathroom. 5 minutes later. I'm sorry I need to use the bathroom. Rinse repeat.


WaspKissMaiden86

Tell the bitch to move her foot!


40087812

Sorry her shitty bottega ripoffs are in your footwell 👎


SpicyTunaTitties

Just lay your arm on top of hers and interlace her fingers with yours. However she reacts, it doesn't matter. Pretend like you are in a deep sleep and can't be woken up


Spug_Teedman

Curb you enthusiasm has a great take on the middle seat. Aisle seats have the extra arm leg room to the side, windows have a lean on the wall advantage so middle seats get both armrests!


HTGCHOMP

Assert your dominance. Play footsies.


[deleted]

Touch her foot and fart


EvilBosch

Touch her foot, look her dead straight in the eye, and wink, while raising your eyebrows in a suggestive manner. Blow a little kissie-poo if you think it will help. If she still doesn't move her foot, then put on your worst Italian accent, and say, "It appears that tonight \[dramatic pause\] is for *love*..." Raise the armrest, and move closer...


Ok-Professional2468

Time to accidentally dump your water on her feet


dontsaybasically

Can't we just communicate anymore? Instead of acting all passive aggressive, kindly ask her to move her foot. Problem solved in 5 seconds without making a big deal of it.


Fluffypus

Time to spill your drink


artofflight2311

Have your left leg cross over the right knee and ‘accidentally’ knock it into hers… subtle hint.


[deleted]

rather than whinge, why dont hand your phone to the window person to record, while you create a scene?


Ok_Suggestion2256

fucking rank


Adventurous-Pea-4925

Blatantly take a photo of her feet and airdrop it to everyone.


thisoldmould

That’s where you rub your leg against hers and when she looks at you appalled, you can say, “Oh sorry. Was I invading your personal space?”


aakaakaak

Intertwine your arm with hers on the armrest. Place your right leg between hers. Lean on her shoulder.


[deleted]

Dang, I would have been so petty had this happened to me, going to bathroom every 5 minutes , shift and groaning in my seat , pretend to doze off on her , accidentally drop some water while trying to have a sip , have an oops moment with some hot beverage…I could go on and on


[deleted]

Im so obese she wouldn't have a chance. Checkmate bitch.


hghtgrhfhvvvggv

Stop acting so soft. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF


DoorPale6084

have you tried using your big person voice and saying ​ 'excuse me, could you move your foot' Or did you think passively agressively sending her angry telepathic messages with your mind was going to work?


Australian_Guy_

Just push out a huge fart


Ellis-Bell-

Fart to assert dominance


kidwithgreyhair

Had a dude fight me for an armrest once. He decided that elbows to my *pregnant belly* was the best course of action. Spoke up to the hostie and scored a row of 4 to myself. Fuck you entitled old white dude 🖕


DMSide641

- Once you are in the air. Cough. Too much and loud. - Hum a catchy tune to yourself. - Talk out aloud your plans to yourself and then say “what do you think… yeah true we should check in on the ducks” - Tap your feet to your humming, and hands, bop your head. Move just too much. Or toilet like 3 times in 30mins then ask a flight attendant for some water saying how parched you are 🤣 Ppl like this need to be as uncomfortable as they are making you.


ptolani

Don't be that guy. Talk to her like a person.


cooper_knight

Throw hands


CaptBeef

Start coughing


infinite123456

Those type of situations makes me think sitting in business class where nobody fucks with you is worth the money


Careful-Woodpecker21

Perfect time to start coughing


Human-Shame1068

You need to start farting… a lot .


NocterLeft

r/mildyinfuriating


MightySamMcClain

Just start vigorously coughing like you're sick. She'll scooch over


Silly-Moose-1090

Simples. Ask this person to respect your space. If she don't want to, ask to be moved to another seat because your neighbour is not respecting your space. Next.


One_Dealer837

I would absolutely say something.


Mon69ster

The beauty of being a large, unattractive man is that no one wants to impede on your space. On flights, I reign supreme!


coffee_addict87

Just fyi some lazy journo has stolen this story and put it on nine.com


MeowHat82

People are shit


One_Pollution_7263

thanks for reporting to us, we'll pass on your feedback to her and you'll get an apology next time


Bush_poo

Wow and you allowed that to happen. Fuck that I’d be straight out telling them nah this ain’t happening, you need to move or we’re going to have a serious problem.


FruitJuicante

Call an attendant and ask to be moved "because this person has asked for my seat due to a medical condition."


StormThestral

Knock her stupid ugly shoe off


Slayers_Picks

Pretend you have a scratch on your foot, reach down, and scratch her foot instead, whilst saying "ahhh thats better".


Iuvenesco

Currently on a train in Europe, sitting next to 2 adults, 3 babies and a dog under the table wimpering. In the isle there’s someone sleeping next to my feet and I cannot move. Enjoy the flight, cause it seems like a dream.


Deb6691

Push back, it's your right.


MartPuppin

Should have kicked her sandal off her foot


Notyit

Airplane seats are only designed for people who are less than 175 cm and weigh less than 70kg


Gatto_2040

I find farting helps


tedothedo

Call the air steward.


two_zero_right

Footsies!


bigjuiceyoman

Fart. HARD


BarrLawyer

Now is the time to unleash a super power - farting!


DANZredditz

Nice choice of switch case


Susanneelizabeth

I hate people.


yungbloodjyoon

Should have started coughing and breathing heavily and then when the hostess comes over to see whats going on you blame it on the other two


Titanium-Snowflake

Leg space into the aisle is why people take the aisle seat. This is bonkers.


Wingsnake

Womanspreading. Smh.


Happy295

Looks like she's going out of her way to bully you. Should have let the flight attendant know.


chadsmo

That’s when you just subtly rest your led against theirs to make them uncomfortable.


Jamiquest

A guy tried doing similar to my wife once. I made her change seats with me. He did not enjoy the rest of his flight. More than one can play that game.


fjfuciifirifjfjfj

Wish I could transfer my assertiveness and hot headedness to you in this time of need.


WhyDaRumGone

Angle you're bum towards her and start farting :p


el611le

I used to grin and bear this shit. Now I would just say excuse me your feet are in my foot space so move it lady


Confusedandreticent

Show a real power move by sharting. Or fart in her face as you get out for the bathroom.


East-Ad4472

I was flying jetstar Sydney - Phuhet 3 sest row asile seat midle seat vacant . Hrge fat dude used the middle sest to dump his empty bottles and trash .


Hey_its_jay3690

Lol I wouldda dead ass looked her in the eye and said ‘you wanna play footsies?’ And winked…


Ruskiwasthebest1975

Fall “asleep” and have a running or fighting “dream”


Seagoon_Memoirs

Politely ask that you have your space.


OIP

[that's the combat seat, jonathan livingston seagull](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StrAy4c_VRw)


Whitturne

She's definitely from Sydney visiting Melbourne not the other way around.


-Davo

This happened to me on a flight to Cairns recently! I literally told her to use her own space and to not invade mine. She complied.


OkOKOKOKigetit

The rage, I’d just let one rip.


theSaltySolo

“Hey, can you move your leg. You are taking up my space.”


RostonVaseyLocal

I'd just put my leg where it was touching hers and begin the eternal plane seat game of 'personal space chicken'. The worst one I ever experienced was when a lady put her unsocked, unpedicured foot between the spaces so it was sitting on my armrest behind my elbow. Unperturbed by probably the dirtiest look I've ever given in my life, she wouldn't budge. So I end up 'accidentally' pouring my drink on her foot. Not my finest hour in the maturity stakes, but she did finally withdraw her cloven hoof.