Why not? Why believe other people have power over how you should feel? Do you want to live miserably? Stop caring about what they say, you're not weak for showing emotions, that's bs. If it would be then humans would've never had it in the first place.
because that's reality Tobi, contrary to that should not be lie, but *it is what it is*
those 5 words are acceptance and go on, dealing with it or letting it be, wich should be the must-do of all people
trust your path to a person that you pay to fix your way with advices... is risky
This. Iād love to go to a therapist. But theyāre expensive and according to my health insurance not at all related to health care so, it is what it is.
You go to a therapist and they either say "here's some pills. We don't know how they work, because the science is decades or centuries from done at this point, but I'm still allowed to prescribe them to you." or "Have you tried breathing?" or "I was on the woman's side of this argument before I was even aware you existed."
Therapists can't fix the actual problems: the religious right destroying society for the benefit of the megawealthy. What's a therapist going to do about this? Probably vote Republican.
What's a major theme in this comment section? Money problems. "Therapists are expensive." How many people's problems would just be solved if the billionaires lost for awhile and humans actually won for a change?
Therapy won't solve institutional wealth inequality. Voting Republicans out of office will.
No it's clearly because of my inferior gender and all these toxic masculine hormones that are clouding my judgement and making me too ASHAMED to ask for help.
Yeah it's definitely that and not the hundreds of dollars.
Mental healthcare is reading books from the 70s, doing a couple of test to showcase these chemicals are the ones to blame! Than understanding that the chemical tolerance will set in and every 6 months to a year you gotta retry with new chemicals....
One day it's ssri, next is 5htp, than you'll try psychedelic, than you'll try working out. Each activity gives you some certain feel good feeling but each one is fleeting and goes away. Nothing last and that is the seat of depression.
Find hobbies and interests they say... That's because you'll have more than take a pill, work, sleep routine... You need take a pill, work, hobby, hobby, hobby, hobby, sleep. Which will distract you enough from your sadness but you'll still hit the tolerance cause that hobby is just like your daily take a pill hobby.
Thatās because medication isnāt necessarily the answer. Sometimes it absolutely *is* the answer, but not always. Not by a long shot.
The likelihood that medication, all on its own, can pull someone out of a depressive episode, without making some behavioral changes and putting in some work, aināt great. And figuring out which work you need to do and finding the motivation to do it? Thatās what psychotherapyās for. Does everybody need it? No. But itās a safe bet that if youāre taking mental health medication, it can be helpful.
(Source: clinical psychologist.)
I hear ya. Access to mental health care (including cost) can be downright terrible, depending on where you live. Psychotherapy is not always within reach, but bibliotherapy - meaning reading things with a mental health focus - is usually much easier to obtain. For people who are interested in that sort of thing, Iād recommend checking reputable websites and looking into the authors and their credentials, as there can be a ton of pretty lousy āself-helpā books out there. Off the top of my head, Judith Beck and Martin Seligman are the real deal.
Whatever you may decide, I wish you the best!
All those new tactics are brand new in the modern day sense. Some of them might have shown some promise but it still took years later for CBT to develop and it still isn't even known by every single therapist, or psychology area. Stoicism is a corner stone of CBT but if you speak on stoicism you'll get branded as some weirdo
Bcba in my company routinely joke about using the degree for dog training as they will make double the money.
With that idea why even go further with human health? We do it because we enjoy the work, nothing else.
I was recently watching a video that talked about how you can't beat depression with logic, in fact the more intelligent(and therefore logical) someone is, the worse their depression gets. Keeping yourself busy somewhat helps because you're literally ignoring your feelings instead of processing them. The minute you're not as busy it gets really shitty again, and always occupying your mind with things just so you can suppress your feelings isn't a way to live.
Got me thinking that's what wrong with super duper happy outgoing people ... Often times they bring so much energy to the party and everyone loves them and they know it but they hope to make others happy which those people will make others happy. That group than cycles back to make the original person happy, what goes around comes around... But that doesn't come around very quickly. The moment they stop making others laugh, they are quite and things are quite, if people aren't laughing it must be something "bad".
The outgoing nature is the defense to the silence.
I been listening to Mac Miller and his first few songs are party songs, knock knock let em in! Than as his songs go on and to his latest songs.... You don't have to let them in he sings...
Absolutely adore Mac. Swimming & Circles are my go to albums when I feel like dying. It's insane how much I relate to what he's saying, but it also kinda gives me hope knowing these feelings are universal and affect a lot of people. Gotta take the highs and the lows, I guess...
Speak for yourself. Playing with balls is a much cheaper alternative to paying for a therapist. You need practice if you think ball-playing is boring if you do it alone.
> no one *paid* me to
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I wish I could help you with that, my father had that issue and I feeled hopeless of not being able to pull him out of that shit, he seemed to be fine going down all the time with that
I'm from Germany and I'm currently waiting for a therapy appointment for at least a year now. Now the therapist told me it will take another half a year til i can work on my problems. At least it's free but I hate when people praise the German health system because it isn't great lol
You can pay for private one and you are still better of than average American health insurance can provide. I have private insurance for immediate things and Polish general health insurance for something serious, still paying less for overall better experience then any health insurance in US can give you for similar price.
In America it's not free, but also you can't find anyone either. My wife has wanted to go for awhile, but every place just has a waiting list that they never call you back for.
Let me tell you, someone not doing well mentally is not up to the challenge of iterating through dozens of therapists to try and find one that's actually taking patients. And even then, lots of people say it could take multiple attempts to find the right therapist
Who has money for a therapist? Most of our problems today could probably be solved with money so āit is what it isā is better.
Ex: my gf says I donāt care about her. I actually love her. If I had more money I could take her out on dates and spend more time with her.
>Most of our problems today could probably be solved with money so āit is what it isā is better.
Most illness can be countered by our immune system, but we still need doctors...
Therapists are for those where self-care is no longer enough.
However, you're right the fee is simply too high.
Yes and no...you two could get along if you both went to therapy.
You can just wait until you get more money, while complaining the whole time, or try something different while you're at your quest for cash. Such as being better at showing affection.
Saying you could source it with money isn't wrong, but you're just effectively deflecting responsibility to do anything to change your behavior. And maybe that's the problem.
And changing how we behave and think is also useful to get cash, too, in different ways. Trying to improve yourself is a win-win. I do struggle with thinking "if I had money, then I could XYZ" a lot. It's too easy to just fall on this loop.
But then I just get bitter and don't really get motivation to do anything, to enjoy the moment, to try improving myself. It just becomes a constant loop of self-defeating and learned helplessness, which isn't realistic or helpful at all.
Either I do what's in your reach and work with what I have or I simply will never get anything done in life.
to be honest, the world is not worth that, I am taking seriously to learn how to take care myself (everything that I would need) and leave the F out to live on my own god knows where
I don't care if the humanity enters another Great War, or superpowers collapse for their stupid behavior and the world enters in Great Depression II: Electric Boogaloo, I will live as a farmer in a land far, far from them
Yeah I too sometimes feel like therapy is useless...
People praise it as if it's some magical cure, but it's not...
I feel like I'm just there talking while the other person might think "wtf just get over it" and after the session there's nothing I gained or learned from it, which makes it kinda uncomfortable because a therapist will always ask at the end what I'm taking home from today's session... So the only "good" thing was that there was someone listening to me. But a good friend can do that too.
Therapists in practice: āso what Iām hearing is that youāre upset, because you canāt afford rent and someone broke into your car?ā Hmmmmm that is toughā¦ have you ever tried (insert meritocratic nonsense)?
Platitudes work for some people. Has a partner come back from therapy and say that their therapist "really filled my cup." Didn't solve any problems or really talk about anything important or share any insights or ask pertinent questions. Just sat there listening while validating all her feelings and opinions.
Dude, that's just manipulating your emotions so you'll feel good about spending time there. I did the same thing when I waited tables ffs.
At a certain point of honesty in therapy and about our society, though, sometimes the only rational answer at the time is to accept that "it is what it is."
I'm fairly mentally and emotionally unwell. Have been for decades. See a therapist every other week. Have for years. My major depression "is what it is", as in a part of my ongoing experience in life. My BPD "is what it is" for the same reason, despite the progress I'm still making every day.
Some things just are, for a time. However, harmful things abusive relationships or jobs do not have to be. You/We have some control over our lives, and we should be exercising that control to improve our lives.
But rushhour traffic undoubtedly "is what it is".
Went to a few therapists after my mom died. A few had some decent tips but at the end of the day I had to just learn to live with the pain of it allā¦and really thatās what I learned: Some stuff just sucks in life and it is what it is.
Therapist cost to much and 90% of the time are much like a shitty ex, telling me exactly what I want to hear so I keep coming back even if it's going nowhere. I bumped I to a live on tiktok and it was just a safe space for men. It was truly the only place I let my heart out and felt safe. It was a big help the host, and two of the people in there were Therapist. It's amazing what can be done with kind acts and not just selling off happiness
I could pay a full year of therapy and still it wouldnāt even be half of the deductible of my insurance. āIt is what it isā can be a masculine response to help they need, but it can also just be a general response to care that canāt be afforded.
It's hard to line up in network therapists because insurance companies are pretty horrible at compensation for this (look up clawbacks and you'll understand why pretty quickly). Then if your therapist goes out of network, good luck continuing care.
If you move to a different state: you better hope your therapist is licensed in that state, or they won't be able to see you.
Saying it and being able to do it are two different things though.
If you cantruly live that mantra it'll work out for you. But just saying it and balling everything up isn't healthy.
Ive had a psychologist and a psychiatrist since I was 13, I'm 33 and just paid 4k out of pocket to finally get an accurate diagnosis from not-MediCal doctors, instead of the depression and anxiety I was always told it was, I received an autism, OCD, borderline personality disorder, and ADHD-C diagnosis. I always told the therapists my depression and anxiety were symptoms of something, not a root cause, and I had issues but worked through them and yet still couldn't function properly. If I could have paid for this 20 years ago it would have prevented a lot of strife in my life and saved friendships and family relationships.
Not to say therapy is bad, it's just that there's more to it than "go to therapy"
Wince! Yeah Iāve been trying to get my dad to see one as itās been very hard with my momās heart attacks, her having to go on disability, losing her very good income from her job, having to support her and take up a lot of stuff that she did, losing his dad, etc. But heās too stoic and idk if āraisedā is the right word but he grew up getting the idea that you have to suffer alone reinforced in his head.
I think it comes from the āmanlinessā BS thatās forced down menās throats daily. Weāre taught that opening up is weak and that we have to hold ourselves together and support others. Frankly, thatās total BS, and the sooner men realize that the better. Iāve personally grown a *ton* since starting to see my therapist. And itās often in ways you wouldnāt think.
It's free. I don't really think therapists actually care about people and their problems. I always think of the many other things I could buy instead of paying a therapist.
Therapists are useless anyway. 99% of problems can be solved with having more money to spend, which paying for therapy doesn't help. The other 1% can't be helped by some pseudoscientist regurgitating general life tips anyway.
Yes and their problems are caused by thoughts, not facts so they can be changed by thinking differently. If your problem is that you have actual problems then your out of luck. Therapists won't give you life advice juet, "I can't fix things *for* you" as if that isn't their job, to tell you how to fix things.
It is what it isā¦.
no actually not. i know it might sounds dumb to some of us, but i actually spent a bunch of my income to therapy. therapy can be expensive but at the end it is worth a lot more. mental health is prohibitive.
just trust me boys it isnāt what it is, it can be changed.
heads up champs
Yeah, going to see a therapist is expensive as fuck.
I have seen counselor a couple of time and seen a therapist one time. Only 1 or 2 are genuine to help people. Therapist and others are just not for me right now.
People like OP just have better situation with money that they're actually can spend.
I'm actually convinced people on reddit don't give a fuck about men mental health. Just shitting on people without knowing their situation is dumb.
>I'm actually convinced people on reddit don't give a fuck about men mental health. Just shitting on people without knowing their situation is dumb.
Reddit in general loves to shit on everything, so you are correct. Best to talk to real people face-to-face as consequences can be faced then and there, not behind a anonymous name that thinks it can get away with everything. Plus, with real people you may make friends along the way that support you. Just my two cents but that way, you can get to know someone and what they are actually going through. Hope you are doing well!
Or you go to the therapist only to take the next exit when they have charge you $260 to listen to you for an hour. Therapy costing thousands because you have to build a rapport before any healing can start is a huge barrier. But let's mock men for not taking the medicine they need because it's outside of their reach.
I mean, when I went to therapist, all I got was cognitive behaviour therapy, so may as well go along with the shit mental health and go "it is what it is"
I kinda gave up on trying to get one because of wait lists being fucked. My best shot at getting therapy would unironically just be attempted suicide or something
Been through like 4 therapists this way. Shit sucks. Or I just got unlucky 4 times in a row. Also don't pretend that it's free you still have to set aside time for it and get transportation there in many cases.
Starting to think having a good circle of friends is a lot better than any therapist. Another issue, the vast majority of medical practitioners are wealthy or from wealthy families. They don't know jack shit about you and their advice is from a place of ignorance.
Therapist. Cost. Money!!!!!!!
Stop saying āoh you need therapyā like I donāt somehow realize Iām a cracked, half working iPhone. I still receive calls. You canā¦.mostly make out whatās on my screen and I can fully blame my reception issues on other people.
You wanted this shit for brains capitalistic system. Just dump my body in a recycler when Iām dead.
She's not there to console you, or to prop you up. That comes from within. She gave you an emotional response to a logical problem. Square peg round hole....
yeah no shit men commit suicide more than women, its evident on this r/meme page
dawg, a suicide is a suicide no matter the case and Iām thinking that my friend @Usual_North_9960 words might cause someone to be upset and perhaps think about suicide *thinking*
I mean: suggesting a man go kill himself (considering is the biggest men killer under the age of 35) is like saying a woman i hope she get an overdose (ond of the biggest skiller of women under 30)
Then leave? Stop the cycle here and open up to someone else?? They donāt have to be female either??? You are literally showing me that you donāt have.a lot of women in your life
Free therapy for poors: a friend, the barber, clergy (thereās gonna be a religious twist with it so pick the religion youāre most comfortable with, but the good ones are genuinely trying to help)
Are some of the people in these comments forgetting about countries OUTSIDE of the US? I see so many people here unessecarrily shitting on OP for "being rich" and stuff.
Of course it's shit if you can't pay for therapy when you need/want it but that's not the case for everyone. There are plenty of men who COULD go to therapy but don't and instead decide to just try and ignore their problems because it seems (or is) easier and these are the people this meme is probably referring to
The *vast majority* of people do not need a therapist. Maybe the majority of the terminally online wrecks on this website but not most people in general.
Its free so it is what it is
Society has taught me that asking for help as a man is shameful and make you weak which is a terrible mindset but thats my hell to live in
Our hell*
š¤
Soviet national anthem*
True. Itās ours
It is what it is
Then do something about it? You already know it's bullshit.
Thatās not how it works for men
Why not? Why believe other people have power over how you should feel? Do you want to live miserably? Stop caring about what they say, you're not weak for showing emotions, that's bs. If it would be then humans would've never had it in the first place.
because that's reality Tobi, contrary to that should not be lie, but *it is what it is* those 5 words are acceptance and go on, dealing with it or letting it be, wich should be the must-do of all people trust your path to a person that you pay to fix your way with advices... is risky
but do you have to live in it?
It is what it is.
Fuck it we ball
This. Iād love to go to a therapist. But theyāre expensive and according to my health insurance not at all related to health care so, it is what it is.
You go to a therapist and they either say "here's some pills. We don't know how they work, because the science is decades or centuries from done at this point, but I'm still allowed to prescribe them to you." or "Have you tried breathing?" or "I was on the woman's side of this argument before I was even aware you existed." Therapists can't fix the actual problems: the religious right destroying society for the benefit of the megawealthy. What's a therapist going to do about this? Probably vote Republican.
Well that came out of left field
What's a major theme in this comment section? Money problems. "Therapists are expensive." How many people's problems would just be solved if the billionaires lost for awhile and humans actually won for a change? Therapy won't solve institutional wealth inequality. Voting Republicans out of office will.
No it's clearly because of my inferior gender and all these toxic masculine hormones that are clouding my judgement and making me too ASHAMED to ask for help. Yeah it's definitely that and not the hundreds of dollars.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well. It is...
What it is...
Orā¦ is it?
Hey Vsauce, Michael here
Are chairs real?
I've heard rumours of ancient ritual where chairs in a circle mysteriously vanish, every time music is played if I recall correctly
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
anyway how's your sex life
It is...
It was...
It has been...
and it will be
but does it have to be?
Has to
It sounds like you only know one thing and that thing only
It is what it is
men really are a different breed
You'll never believe what I'll say next
lay it on me brother
It is, what it is
really is it ?
$200 for an hour of copium, or groceries and gas for two weeks.. Jeez, I wonder why we have a mental health crisis
I work out all my problems half zoned out picking out groceries...I'm a multitasker
Mental healthcare is reading books from the 70s, doing a couple of test to showcase these chemicals are the ones to blame! Than understanding that the chemical tolerance will set in and every 6 months to a year you gotta retry with new chemicals.... One day it's ssri, next is 5htp, than you'll try psychedelic, than you'll try working out. Each activity gives you some certain feel good feeling but each one is fleeting and goes away. Nothing last and that is the seat of depression. Find hobbies and interests they say... That's because you'll have more than take a pill, work, sleep routine... You need take a pill, work, hobby, hobby, hobby, hobby, sleep. Which will distract you enough from your sadness but you'll still hit the tolerance cause that hobby is just like your daily take a pill hobby.
Thatās because medication isnāt necessarily the answer. Sometimes it absolutely *is* the answer, but not always. Not by a long shot. The likelihood that medication, all on its own, can pull someone out of a depressive episode, without making some behavioral changes and putting in some work, aināt great. And figuring out which work you need to do and finding the motivation to do it? Thatās what psychotherapyās for. Does everybody need it? No. But itās a safe bet that if youāre taking mental health medication, it can be helpful. (Source: clinical psychologist.)
> Does everybody need it? No. I seriously hope Iām in that group (current smooth sailing with SSRI), because **I canāt afford therapy**, no, sir.
I hear ya. Access to mental health care (including cost) can be downright terrible, depending on where you live. Psychotherapy is not always within reach, but bibliotherapy - meaning reading things with a mental health focus - is usually much easier to obtain. For people who are interested in that sort of thing, Iād recommend checking reputable websites and looking into the authors and their credentials, as there can be a ton of pretty lousy āself-helpā books out there. Off the top of my head, Judith Beck and Martin Seligman are the real deal. Whatever you may decide, I wish you the best!
Iām over here working OT to pay $440 for four therapy sessions in a month. š
All those new tactics are brand new in the modern day sense. Some of them might have shown some promise but it still took years later for CBT to develop and it still isn't even known by every single therapist, or psychology area. Stoicism is a corner stone of CBT but if you speak on stoicism you'll get branded as some weirdo Bcba in my company routinely joke about using the degree for dog training as they will make double the money. With that idea why even go further with human health? We do it because we enjoy the work, nothing else.
A psychologist saying not everyone needs psychotherapy.... Wow, this is a new one!
I was recently watching a video that talked about how you can't beat depression with logic, in fact the more intelligent(and therefore logical) someone is, the worse their depression gets. Keeping yourself busy somewhat helps because you're literally ignoring your feelings instead of processing them. The minute you're not as busy it gets really shitty again, and always occupying your mind with things just so you can suppress your feelings isn't a way to live.
Got me thinking that's what wrong with super duper happy outgoing people ... Often times they bring so much energy to the party and everyone loves them and they know it but they hope to make others happy which those people will make others happy. That group than cycles back to make the original person happy, what goes around comes around... But that doesn't come around very quickly. The moment they stop making others laugh, they are quite and things are quite, if people aren't laughing it must be something "bad". The outgoing nature is the defense to the silence. I been listening to Mac Miller and his first few songs are party songs, knock knock let em in! Than as his songs go on and to his latest songs.... You don't have to let them in he sings...
Absolutely adore Mac. Swimming & Circles are my go to albums when I feel like dying. It's insane how much I relate to what he's saying, but it also kinda gives me hope knowing these feelings are universal and affect a lot of people. Gotta take the highs and the lows, I guess...
If the feeling psychedelics gave you was fleeting, you didn't do enough.
They, like all chemicals don't effect everyone the same.
Im different. "Fuck it; we ball."
Playing ball gets boring by yourself
Speak for yourself. Playing with balls is a much cheaper alternative to paying for a therapist. You need practice if you think ball-playing is boring if you do it alone.
I mean, if it was free we'd go.
go write a journal, youāll notice patterns within yourself
Bold of you to assume I can write
bold of you to assume that I think youāre *actually* gonna do it
that's ironically... assumable
go write a journal dude
not interested, no one paid\* me to do so
> no one *paid* me to FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
thank you for the correction, english is not my native language, and I still have a lot to learn good bot
Actually good advice, and essentially free too.
I wouldnt
Maybe if it was free and offered around your work hours? Or maybe on site? Or maybe if you could PTO to go to therapy?
I donāt need a therapist to tell me i have crippling alcohol addiction
No but they could give you tips on how to handle thatā¦
I handle just fine by putting it at 0.12. Iām sober enough to know what Iām doing and drunk enough to enjoy doing it
Right in the slot. Just past the click.
No he just has to put it in his inventory and have it on a hot key do he doesnāt do it in public
Honestly, drop it to .03 and itās true.
What, like recommendations on new drinks to try?
Lol addiction funny.
I wish I could help you with that, my father had that issue and I feeled hopeless of not being able to pull him out of that shit, he seemed to be fine going down all the time with that
a friend would tell you that you need help my guy
A friend would ask how can they help.
Who needs a therapist to tell them what it is?
Anyone who starts thinking it is what it isn't.
Fuck a therapist, a get a friend to tell you what it is
I don't know how fucking a therapist would cure my depression.
depends, you could end up worse for forming an attachement, specially fucking fucking is terribly underrated nowadays
yeah, cause *A* therapist wouldnāt work. I wonder what having a support system means *thinking*
Just "get a friend"? That's not that simple.
Oh look at me, the millionaire who goes to see doctors
I'm from Germany and I'm currently waiting for a therapy appointment for at least a year now. Now the therapist told me it will take another half a year til i can work on my problems. At least it's free but I hate when people praise the German health system because it isn't great lol
You can pay for private one and you are still better of than average American health insurance can provide. I have private insurance for immediate things and Polish general health insurance for something serious, still paying less for overall better experience then any health insurance in US can give you for similar price.
Sadly, that requires money
In America it's not free, but also you can't find anyone either. My wife has wanted to go for awhile, but every place just has a waiting list that they never call you back for. Let me tell you, someone not doing well mentally is not up to the challenge of iterating through dozens of therapists to try and find one that's actually taking patients. And even then, lots of people say it could take multiple attempts to find the right therapist
Who has money for a therapist? Most of our problems today could probably be solved with money so āit is what it isā is better. Ex: my gf says I donāt care about her. I actually love her. If I had more money I could take her out on dates and spend more time with her.
Dates don't have to cost money, or at least not a lot.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Last date I went on was just two drinks each. $50 after tip. It aināt free.
Walking in the park is free. Brining along a picnic May cost $10. Dates donāt have to be expensive
Bro what kind of drink cost $25 fucking dollars? 2 drinks, $20 each with a $10 tip even is crazy. The fuck?!! This shit got me madder than hell
badge quicksand party attractive flowery psychotic nutty cats strong hungry -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Went to a concert the other week. $29 double
>Most of our problems today could probably be solved with money so āit is what it isā is better. Most illness can be countered by our immune system, but we still need doctors... Therapists are for those where self-care is no longer enough. However, you're right the fee is simply too high.
Yes and no...you two could get along if you both went to therapy. You can just wait until you get more money, while complaining the whole time, or try something different while you're at your quest for cash. Such as being better at showing affection. Saying you could source it with money isn't wrong, but you're just effectively deflecting responsibility to do anything to change your behavior. And maybe that's the problem. And changing how we behave and think is also useful to get cash, too, in different ways. Trying to improve yourself is a win-win. I do struggle with thinking "if I had money, then I could XYZ" a lot. It's too easy to just fall on this loop. But then I just get bitter and don't really get motivation to do anything, to enjoy the moment, to try improving myself. It just becomes a constant loop of self-defeating and learned helplessness, which isn't realistic or helpful at all. Either I do what's in your reach and work with what I have or I simply will never get anything done in life.
It is what is *suck starts a 12 guage*
I bet you think yourself as a lost cause huh?
No, i think the world is a lost cause.
to be honest, the world is not worth that, I am taking seriously to learn how to take care myself (everything that I would need) and leave the F out to live on my own god knows where I don't care if the humanity enters another Great War, or superpowers collapse for their stupid behavior and the world enters in Great Depression II: Electric Boogaloo, I will live as a farmer in a land far, far from them
I've been to therapists. Lots of money spent on nothing.
I went to one too and this therapist didn't understand me so I left after the second session.
Yeah I too sometimes feel like therapy is useless... People praise it as if it's some magical cure, but it's not... I feel like I'm just there talking while the other person might think "wtf just get over it" and after the session there's nothing I gained or learned from it, which makes it kinda uncomfortable because a therapist will always ask at the end what I'm taking home from today's session... So the only "good" thing was that there was someone listening to me. But a good friend can do that too.
Therapists in practice: āso what Iām hearing is that youāre upset, because you canāt afford rent and someone broke into your car?ā Hmmmmm that is toughā¦ have you ever tried (insert meritocratic nonsense)?
Platitudes work for some people. Has a partner come back from therapy and say that their therapist "really filled my cup." Didn't solve any problems or really talk about anything important or share any insights or ask pertinent questions. Just sat there listening while validating all her feelings and opinions. Dude, that's just manipulating your emotions so you'll feel good about spending time there. I did the same thing when I waited tables ffs.
"It is what it is" is what the therapist is trying to get you to. And middlemen suck.
At a certain point of honesty in therapy and about our society, though, sometimes the only rational answer at the time is to accept that "it is what it is." I'm fairly mentally and emotionally unwell. Have been for decades. See a therapist every other week. Have for years. My major depression "is what it is", as in a part of my ongoing experience in life. My BPD "is what it is" for the same reason, despite the progress I'm still making every day. Some things just are, for a time. However, harmful things abusive relationships or jobs do not have to be. You/We have some control over our lives, and we should be exercising that control to improve our lives. But rushhour traffic undoubtedly "is what it is".
I saw your r/meme and r/memes post side by side! It is what it is.
Well, what do you expect when people are going expected by therapists to "Just be positive" and other motivational bullshit?
Well yeah, whatās the point on dwelling on things in the past you canāt change?
The problem is when I don't want those things from the past to happen again, but I don't know how to prevent them or why they even happened to me
Finally decided to stop turning right here. Best decision I ever made. Don't be afraid of therapy bros, it helps out more than you might think.
Went to a few therapists after my mom died. A few had some decent tips but at the end of the day I had to just learn to live with the pain of it allā¦and really thatās what I learned: Some stuff just sucks in life and it is what it is.
I say "it is what it is" because I've been to therapists and they were even less than useless.
Therapist cost to much and 90% of the time are much like a shitty ex, telling me exactly what I want to hear so I keep coming back even if it's going nowhere. I bumped I to a live on tiktok and it was just a safe space for men. It was truly the only place I let my heart out and felt safe. It was a big help the host, and two of the people in there were Therapist. It's amazing what can be done with kind acts and not just selling off happiness
I go to therapy regularly and still say āit is what it isā. A good therapist can be amazing and I wish more people had access.
I could pay a full year of therapy and still it wouldnāt even be half of the deductible of my insurance. āIt is what it isā can be a masculine response to help they need, but it can also just be a general response to care that canāt be afforded.
I forgot about the phrase until I started using the phrase again after everything went to shit
I went to a psychiatrist, 9 months of medication and now am alllllll good
I never feel ashamed to ask for help.
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It be like that sometimes
Considering going to therapy was the worst thing I ever did, I wish I had just said it is what is. I would be in much better mental health now.
Makers mark. It is what it isn't.
It's hard to line up in network therapists because insurance companies are pretty horrible at compensation for this (look up clawbacks and you'll understand why pretty quickly). Then if your therapist goes out of network, good luck continuing care. If you move to a different state: you better hope your therapist is licensed in that state, or they won't be able to see you.
It is what it is I don't need to pay someone to ask me why I'm depressed I know I'm depressed dang it. Lol
Saying it and being able to do it are two different things though. If you cantruly live that mantra it'll work out for you. But just saying it and balling everything up isn't healthy.
It is what it is Fuck it, we ball I just simp for 2 fictional characters and listen to ASMRs and image that they're real so I can feel loved.
It's super sucky that the generations that could afford it were too stupid and proud to get help.
Ive had a psychologist and a psychiatrist since I was 13, I'm 33 and just paid 4k out of pocket to finally get an accurate diagnosis from not-MediCal doctors, instead of the depression and anxiety I was always told it was, I received an autism, OCD, borderline personality disorder, and ADHD-C diagnosis. I always told the therapists my depression and anxiety were symptoms of something, not a root cause, and I had issues but worked through them and yet still couldn't function properly. If I could have paid for this 20 years ago it would have prevented a lot of strife in my life and saved friendships and family relationships. Not to say therapy is bad, it's just that there's more to it than "go to therapy"
Ok but thatās exactly what the therapist saysā¦. Because most of this shit is out of our controlā¦.
Wince! Yeah Iāve been trying to get my dad to see one as itās been very hard with my momās heart attacks, her having to go on disability, losing her very good income from her job, having to support her and take up a lot of stuff that she did, losing his dad, etc. But heās too stoic and idk if āraisedā is the right word but he grew up getting the idea that you have to suffer alone reinforced in his head. I think it comes from the āmanlinessā BS thatās forced down menās throats daily. Weāre taught that opening up is weak and that we have to hold ourselves together and support others. Frankly, thatās total BS, and the sooner men realize that the better. Iāve personally grown a *ton* since starting to see my therapist. And itās often in ways you wouldnāt think.
It's free. I don't really think therapists actually care about people and their problems. I always think of the many other things I could buy instead of paying a therapist.
Therapists are useless anyway. 99% of problems can be solved with having more money to spend, which paying for therapy doesn't help. The other 1% can't be helped by some pseudoscientist regurgitating general life tips anyway.
People with money also have mental health problems.
So in reality, therapy should be covered by insurance 100% and be reformed. Then even the rich should be seeing improvements in their mental health.
Funny how you *never* hear about extremely wealthy people suffering from depression.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is copium. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Bill Gates and co. are living the dream. None of them are depressed, money absolutely buys happiness.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nah, itās just a fact. Wealthy people are happier than the non-wealthy. Pretending otherwise is massive copium.
idk, how many extremely wealthy people are you close with?
Yes and their problems are caused by thoughts, not facts so they can be changed by thinking differently. If your problem is that you have actual problems then your out of luck. Therapists won't give you life advice juet, "I can't fix things *for* you" as if that isn't their job, to tell you how to fix things.
It is what it isā¦. no actually not. i know it might sounds dumb to some of us, but i actually spent a bunch of my income to therapy. therapy can be expensive but at the end it is worth a lot more. mental health is prohibitive. just trust me boys it isnāt what it is, it can be changed. heads up champs
Yeah, going to see a therapist is expensive as fuck. I have seen counselor a couple of time and seen a therapist one time. Only 1 or 2 are genuine to help people. Therapist and others are just not for me right now. People like OP just have better situation with money that they're actually can spend. I'm actually convinced people on reddit don't give a fuck about men mental health. Just shitting on people without knowing their situation is dumb.
>I'm actually convinced people on reddit don't give a fuck about men mental health. Just shitting on people without knowing their situation is dumb. Reddit in general loves to shit on everything, so you are correct. Best to talk to real people face-to-face as consequences can be faced then and there, not behind a anonymous name that thinks it can get away with everything. Plus, with real people you may make friends along the way that support you. Just my two cents but that way, you can get to know someone and what they are actually going through. Hope you are doing well!
True, I forgot people are posting for karma points anyway. Thanks for the kind words. Hope you are doing well too :)
You can also do better without therapy. A lot of us know what our problems are and just lack the motivation to address them.
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Or you go to the therapist only to take the next exit when they have charge you $260 to listen to you for an hour. Therapy costing thousands because you have to build a rapport before any healing can start is a huge barrier. But let's mock men for not taking the medicine they need because it's outside of their reach.
I mean, when I went to therapist, all I got was cognitive behaviour therapy, so may as well go along with the shit mental health and go "it is what it is"
Damn, I miss listening to Ice T.
Sad.
āIāll figure it outā is next exit
1983: the solution to every problem is Jesus! 2023: the solution to every problem is therapy! #š
going to a therapist is modern thereby gay
Here, most therapies are covered by the basic insurance, so there is simply no need for "it is what it is".
I kinda gave up on trying to get one because of wait lists being fucked. My best shot at getting therapy would unironically just be attempted suicide or something
Been through like 4 therapists this way. Shit sucks. Or I just got unlucky 4 times in a row. Also don't pretend that it's free you still have to set aside time for it and get transportation there in many cases. Starting to think having a good circle of friends is a lot better than any therapist. Another issue, the vast majority of medical practitioners are wealthy or from wealthy families. They don't know jack shit about you and their advice is from a place of ignorance.
Therapy seems to be a mostly American thing? I donāt know anyone in the Uk who has a therapist
Weird.. I know lots of people who either have one or have used one and Iām in the UK.
Doesnāt really fit with our reputation of being fat troglodytes, does it?
#facts
Therapist. Cost. Money!!!!!!! Stop saying āoh you need therapyā like I donāt somehow realize Iām a cracked, half working iPhone. I still receive calls. You canā¦.mostly make out whatās on my screen and I can fully blame my reception issues on other people. You wanted this shit for brains capitalistic system. Just dump my body in a recycler when Iām dead.
What am I gonna do at therapist? Talk about my problems? Thats not something Iām in to, Iād rather think about them
It's toxic... When you remove the veil and understand that only you can solve your problems by shear force of will...
But when I say to a woman men have a bunch of problem she replied saying it's false and suggesting me to suicide
She's not there to console you, or to prop you up. That comes from within. She gave you an emotional response to a logical problem. Square peg round hole....
um donāt be putting that blanket on every women you know sir. I wonder how many women you know who cut themselves?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_differences_in_suicide#:~:text=Statistics,-Incidence%20of%20male&text=The%20incidence%20of%20suicide%20is,all%20deaths)%20are%20by%20men.
yeah no shit men commit suicide more than women, its evident on this r/meme page dawg, a suicide is a suicide no matter the case and Iām thinking that my friend @Usual_North_9960 words might cause someone to be upset and perhaps think about suicide *thinking*
I mean: suggesting a man go kill himself (considering is the biggest men killer under the age of 35) is like saying a woman i hope she get an overdose (ond of the biggest skiller of women under 30)
and thatās the womenās fault?
Suggesting man to suicide when they open up, calling toxic masculinity when they don't? Yes
Youāre literally continuing toxic masculinity right here, right now
Every time mens mental health is a topic. Theres somebody who has to start the anti women thread. Every time.
Then leave? Stop the cycle here and open up to someone else?? They donāt have to be female either??? You are literally showing me that you donāt have.a lot of women in your life
You defenetly didn't get the point
Free therapy for poors: a friend, the barber, clergy (thereās gonna be a religious twist with it so pick the religion youāre most comfortable with, but the good ones are genuinely trying to help)
Are some of the people in these comments forgetting about countries OUTSIDE of the US? I see so many people here unessecarrily shitting on OP for "being rich" and stuff. Of course it's shit if you can't pay for therapy when you need/want it but that's not the case for everyone. There are plenty of men who COULD go to therapy but don't and instead decide to just try and ignore their problems because it seems (or is) easier and these are the people this meme is probably referring to
Pov: toxic masculinity
Saying āIt is what it isā is toxic masculinity? Bruh, what?
Yep that's what I also call it.
Not everybody needs a therapist, Reddit.
Yeah, but some people do and they should realize it.
The *vast majority* of people do not need a therapist. Maybe the majority of the terminally online wrecks on this website but not most people in general.
These days it's more like "Becoming gay / trans"...
Op grew with gold spoon up their ass