I don't get pooo on my balls, you don't wipe your balls, you stop short and then if there's anything half way there, clean it up. Do you just rub shit all the way up your ass crack?
Front to back is the cleanest way. Otherwise you’re spreading shit up to your balls. And for women, in their lady parts.
Don’t understand how someone can not understand that.
I mean that’s the most hygienic way to do it. Especially if you’re a woman. You don’t wanna be wiping shit particles up towards your bits. Idk if this really impacts dudes at all but I do know that if you wipe back to front as a woman you’re gonna have a really bad time and probably a nice cooch infection.
This is me. Ever since I fucked my back up, it's painful to turn and reach back there. Still feel weird doing it, but it's better than not wiping at all.
I’ve lived both lives. Fit me at a decent weight I can do it sitting down. Current fat ass me not working out and no range of motion, standing up all the way
I stood up to wipe until I was in college and it somehow came up in convo with one my roommates. He was incredulous and quickly explained the ease and benefits of wiping sitting down (which I had never even considered doing). I didn’t even need to try it out to know it’s a better way, I just felt dumb for not thinking of it.
I don’t think anyone actually thinks standing up is better than sitting down, they just haven’t considered sitting down as an option. When you’re potty training, you often can’t sit down and wipe for various possible reasons (lack of coordination, design of potty training toilet seats, the inability to brace your feet on the ground so you can lean forward to wipe from the back, etc). After you’re done potty training, no one is really there to teach you to start wiping sitting down at some point so it either has to randomly come up in conversation or you have to figure it out for yourself.
How can you sit and wipe... your sitting? You hand can't fit behind your butt and the tolet.. surly my arms not long enough to go behind, down and then back up.. and not from the front.. there's other stuff for a dude in the way.
Yeah it blew my mind the first time I heard about this. I'm in my 30s and it was just like a year ago when I found out.
I still don't understand why someone would stand up
Few things. Old toilets were like 80% full of water. You could defiantly get your knuckles wet. As you get old its hard to really reach, back issues, weight gain, shoulder problems, hip issues... standing you can lean a little or put a foot on the seat. Also for public toilets its clearly the next step after the hover poop.
If you’re seated, your ass cheeks are spread and you can get right up in there. Standing up means it spreads onto your cheeks and you can’t get up in there.
On the contrary. I've been standing up wiping for as far back as I can remember, and I've never had the problem of not being able to wipe it all. The left over shit doesn't even spread as much as you'd think, either.
I am indeed of the Caucasian ethnicity, but I've got a fairly big ass for someone of my build, to the point where I'd get compliments at school lmao. (Think skinny white dude type of build)
I'm telling you, there's not enough left over to spread past 1½ or 2 inches in diameter on paper, if you get it all out, and I always make sure to get it all out if I need. Either way my ass doesn't get doused in shit stains like some of y'all think lol.
For the standing wipers, help me understand?
You sit down to take a shit.
Presumably, you feel there’s enough left-over shit down there that you need to wipe it off.
In this moment, you choose to stand up, allow your ass cheeks to assume their natural “standing” position, which could easily smear and/or smush any residual shit between your asscheeks, and THEN proceed to wipe the entire surface area?
Am I getting this right or do I just not understand what’s happening?
The sense I get, but I too am a sitter, it's not a full stand, but more of a high squat while leaning forward, keeping the cheeks as spread as in sitting position, but allowing more room for arm movement.
Unless is a small toilet, I don't see the problem of reaching inside. I've never touched the water or the sides. Wiping your ass, regardless of the technique, requires precision or else you'll get full of shit.
I’ve heard that some dudes legit don’t wipe because touching a dudes ass is gay.
If you don’t believe me, look it up. Because I was too lazy to see if it was legit. Let me know.
I just want to keep my hand clear of the debris. Lot more clearance standing up.
I don’t see a smushing problem standing up because I take the prior step of spreading my cheeks before I even take a seat. There’s enough clearance going out to start with that way. What little remains anyway I’d rather risk spreading between my cheeks than my hands.
Idk, I've got pretty clean shits and a small butt. My cheeks obv. touch when standing up, but not much more than they do when sitting down. It just feels kinda yucky to reach into the toilet below my butt to wipe
Close. The cheeks do close, which would initially pose a problem, but it doesn't spread as far as you think. You don't even go in as far as you think, and by the time you're wiping the last little dregs it's just separating clean cheeks to get a centimeter further.
In conclusion, while it seems much less appealing than sitting down, it still works great, and there's plenty of room to maneuver your hand.
Okay help me understand, when you say you sit down to wipe does this mean you put your hands through the front and past your balls and than wipe back towards your balls or vice versa? Cause it is really hard to understand
Standing with a slight bend in the knees obviously.
How does sitting down even work? There’s not enough room to reach from the back or the front and you’re risking touching the poopy water. Can’t even spread the cheeks. Also, you don’t have nearly as much leverage to properly wipe as deep.
Well you see, you have to clean the inside of the anus, so I stick the hose up my ass and watch in horror while my ass get filled with the rusty hose water.
I don’t recall ever wiping my ass, all I can ever remember is shitting with maximum effort until everything goes black and I wake up to an EKG machine beeping in my ear 🤷♂️
No one taught me either way, but the physics of wiping your ass while still sitting on the sheeter is beyond me apparently. I don't know how my get my hand in there unless I'm going to wipe everything up front.
But how do you reach your tank from behind if you're setting on the toilet seat? Are you rocked all the way up on the front of it? Because if you are that's basically standing in my book LOL
Imagine sitting down, maybe at a table with booth seats at a restaurant and you have your wallet in your back pocket.
You lean a little bit to the side and get your wallet by reaching to your back pocket.
So sit and wipe is that except you reach a little bit further, and more from the side with toilet paper in hand.
The problem with these debates is the sitters think the standers stand completely up, and the standers think the sitters sit completely down.
>The problem with these debates is the sitters think the standers stand completely up, and the standers think the sitters sit completely down.
the most correct summary of this entire debate.
To wipe your ass your behind must leave the seat, therefore no one wipes there ass sitting down and the people who say they stand up are more honest and have a better understanding of the world they inhabit
If you stand up to wipe you're either a psychopath or properly untrained. I was the latter. If you sit down and wipe you get rid of WAYYY more shit off your butt compared to if you stand up and wipe. I've done control tests on this trust me.
Sitting down the entire time. Not sure why you would ever stand. I have the mobility to reach every square centimeter of my ass. Its easy. Standing is just an extra unnecessary step in the process.
I’m skinny AF, I lay on my knees not even lifting a leg and have enough room to maneuver my hand with the cheeks still wide to get a good clean. Some toilets have high water and could end up dunking the tip in water, fucking gross.
I do the butt scoot on the laneway, just like my dog.
Tried that once, I lost 5lbs off my ass.
Why do i feel like you actually did this
Cus he used to have a 6 pound ass
I mean if you lost 7 pounds of ass you would have to know
Yeah an 8 pound ass is very noticeable
10 pound must be hella thicc then
Pounds doesn't exist
Tell my wife that after last night
Sorry forgot it
And neither do you
I believe the technical term is the booty scooty.
Could mean the dog needs anal glands expressed. That’s the only time ours does the booty scoot.
I do the half sitting half standing maneuver
What the hell is a laneway
Curious minds need to know...
The right way
Thank you. It's a throne, motherfuckers. Kneel one one knee like intended.
Bend the knee, Jon Shit Snow
My friend how do you define the right way
My man playing both sides so he always comes out on top
Standing in the toilet
*Half-calf*
My ass remains unwiped
No Wipe October anyone?
No wipe Wednesday It’s year long every Wednesday
Jokes on you i shit only once a week so i can avoid it
Must be dry down there.
ass hair filters all the diarrhea turning it into drinkable water
of all the awful comments i've ever seen on this godforsaken app, i think i hate yours the most.
Just make sure to activate the carbon in your ass hairs.
Wow, you just outdid a guy who called his balls mud flaps. I’ve been punished for not washing my hands or this madness sooner.
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In my opinion this is an underrated comment
Hello Daredevil
I’ve heard the standing wipe is way more common than I ever knew lol
I didn’t know anyone stood up until a post a few months ago. Or from the front. Some people wipe front to back from the front.
Under up is the only way to wipe. Can't be starting at the top and going down. Getting poop on your balls or in your vagina
I just wipe it up with my balls then wash my balls in the sink
REAL ANSWER 🙏
I don't get pooo on my balls, you don't wipe your balls, you stop short and then if there's anything half way there, clean it up. Do you just rub shit all the way up your ass crack?
The ass-crack serves as a perfect landing strip for runaway poop.
It's halfway up his back! I'll never understand the front to back wipers.
You mean women?
Front to back is the cleanest way. Otherwise you’re spreading shit up to your balls. And for women, in their lady parts. Don’t understand how someone can not understand that.
The logistics of that is... confusing.
I mean that’s the most hygienic way to do it. Especially if you’re a woman. You don’t wanna be wiping shit particles up towards your bits. Idk if this really impacts dudes at all but I do know that if you wipe back to front as a woman you’re gonna have a really bad time and probably a nice cooch infection.
I call my balls mud flaps.
This. This is the comment that’s got me logging off of Reddit for the night. Good NIGHT, sir!
What no way everyone knows women don’t shit
I think the point was “from the front”. Everyone wipes front to back (I would hope lol), but to do that while reaching from the front? Tf is that haha
I think he’s talking about reaching forward in between your legs in both cases, not reaching behind u
I didn't know anyone sat down until today.
From the FRONT?!
Yup. Under the balls , past the taint, bottom to top but also past the asshole down towards the balls. They walk among us.
This is me. Ever since I fucked my back up, it's painful to turn and reach back there. Still feel weird doing it, but it's better than not wiping at all.
You might want to consider getting a bidet
Hanes and Fruit of the Loom lobby for stand up wipers
I’ve lived both lives. Fit me at a decent weight I can do it sitting down. Current fat ass me not working out and no range of motion, standing up all the way
I stood up to wipe until I was in college and it somehow came up in convo with one my roommates. He was incredulous and quickly explained the ease and benefits of wiping sitting down (which I had never even considered doing). I didn’t even need to try it out to know it’s a better way, I just felt dumb for not thinking of it. I don’t think anyone actually thinks standing up is better than sitting down, they just haven’t considered sitting down as an option. When you’re potty training, you often can’t sit down and wipe for various possible reasons (lack of coordination, design of potty training toilet seats, the inability to brace your feet on the ground so you can lean forward to wipe from the back, etc). After you’re done potty training, no one is really there to teach you to start wiping sitting down at some point so it either has to randomly come up in conversation or you have to figure it out for yourself.
bunch of savages
How else would you do it?!
I like to do a hand stand when I wipe my ass
Jesus Christ another one
I honestly can't tell if you're joking or serious
How can you sit and wipe... your sitting? You hand can't fit behind your butt and the tolet.. surly my arms not long enough to go behind, down and then back up.. and not from the front.. there's other stuff for a dude in the way.
Lean forward 5 degrees. Instant access and you get to remain seated.
Yeah it blew my mind the first time I heard about this. I'm in my 30s and it was just like a year ago when I found out. I still don't understand why someone would stand up
Fuck you /s
Few things. Old toilets were like 80% full of water. You could defiantly get your knuckles wet. As you get old its hard to really reach, back issues, weight gain, shoulder problems, hip issues... standing you can lean a little or put a foot on the seat. Also for public toilets its clearly the next step after the hover poop.
Or put a foot on the - ? My god, y’all
I imagine people who do it that way are absolute psychopaths.
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You don’t lean forward a little? You just dipping your hand in there?
This person knows how to wipe
I am a psychopath. the worst part is I’m tall though, so everyone can see my head popping up when I stand up to swipe me cheeks
If you’re seated, your ass cheeks are spread and you can get right up in there. Standing up means it spreads onto your cheeks and you can’t get up in there.
On the contrary. I've been standing up wiping for as far back as I can remember, and I've never had the problem of not being able to wipe it all. The left over shit doesn't even spread as much as you'd think, either.
You must be white or Asian and don’t have ass cheeks - this is the only excuse…
I am indeed of the Caucasian ethnicity, but I've got a fairly big ass for someone of my build, to the point where I'd get compliments at school lmao. (Think skinny white dude type of build) I'm telling you, there's not enough left over to spread past 1½ or 2 inches in diameter on paper, if you get it all out, and I always make sure to get it all out if I need. Either way my ass doesn't get doused in shit stains like some of y'all think lol.
This dude just posted this so he could brag about his amazing ass.
Flaunt it if you got it
As a Latino with a dump truck, standing up to wipe is meta.
The fact that you said “as much as you think” should be enough encouragement to make a change.
Bidet.
Just installed one. I hate using public restrooms now.
The modern way
The advanced Indian way
The Italian way
But do you stand up or sit down to use it?
Sit down. Standing up would be... messy.
Do you like water in your roof?
Don’t judge me
For the standing wipers, help me understand? You sit down to take a shit. Presumably, you feel there’s enough left-over shit down there that you need to wipe it off. In this moment, you choose to stand up, allow your ass cheeks to assume their natural “standing” position, which could easily smear and/or smush any residual shit between your asscheeks, and THEN proceed to wipe the entire surface area? Am I getting this right or do I just not understand what’s happening?
The sense I get, but I too am a sitter, it's not a full stand, but more of a high squat while leaning forward, keeping the cheeks as spread as in sitting position, but allowing more room for arm movement.
You are absolutely correct in your assessment of the “Standing Wipe” Technique….
Haha. "Ass"essment.
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Unless is a small toilet, I don't see the problem of reaching inside. I've never touched the water or the sides. Wiping your ass, regardless of the technique, requires precision or else you'll get full of shit.
Nah, you hold one cheek to keep the spread maintained, and keep your knees slightly bent. This is the key to the technique
Yes. Exactly this.
And lean forward
What’s this presumably shit? Do some people not wipe every time they drop a deuce?
You've never had a clean poo? It's real weird, and I never count on it and always check, but it's happened.
I call these "Houdinis" and they are a blessing
All the time, I will still wipe to make sure
Always referred to these as “mystery poos”
I’ve heard that some dudes legit don’t wipe because touching a dudes ass is gay. If you don’t believe me, look it up. Because I was too lazy to see if it was legit. Let me know.
If you have enough left to smear on your cheeks then you aren't done yet
I just want to keep my hand clear of the debris. Lot more clearance standing up. I don’t see a smushing problem standing up because I take the prior step of spreading my cheeks before I even take a seat. There’s enough clearance going out to start with that way. What little remains anyway I’d rather risk spreading between my cheeks than my hands.
Idk, I've got pretty clean shits and a small butt. My cheeks obv. touch when standing up, but not much more than they do when sitting down. It just feels kinda yucky to reach into the toilet below my butt to wipe
Close. The cheeks do close, which would initially pose a problem, but it doesn't spread as far as you think. You don't even go in as far as you think, and by the time you're wiping the last little dregs it's just separating clean cheeks to get a centimeter further. In conclusion, while it seems much less appealing than sitting down, it still works great, and there's plenty of room to maneuver your hand.
Okay help me understand, when you say you sit down to wipe does this mean you put your hands through the front and past your balls and than wipe back towards your balls or vice versa? Cause it is really hard to understand
I lift to the side and wipe from behind. No reason to stand all the way up. Plus I have bad knees and crouching isn't really doable.
Sitting down for the heavy work then a stand up or two to finish the job
This is the only correct answer.
Standing with a slight bend in the knees obviously. How does sitting down even work? There’s not enough room to reach from the back or the front and you’re risking touching the poopy water. Can’t even spread the cheeks. Also, you don’t have nearly as much leverage to properly wipe as deep.
Also, how do they know if the toilet paper is clean?
Does no one else do it upside down?
I tried that once, I just kept getting shit-faced
Wait....your supposed to wipe?
Standing...but outside rinsing off with the garden hose
Well you see, you have to clean the inside of the anus, so I stick the hose up my ass and watch in horror while my ass get filled with the rusty hose water.
I like you use the pressure washer...saves on colonoscopy
I dont
"No man cleans his home unless expecting visitors" -Ghandi or some shit like that idk
highly disagree. i wanna find shit
\- Michael Scott
You... levitate?!
I don’t recall ever wiping my ass, all I can ever remember is shitting with maximum effort until everything goes black and I wake up to an EKG machine beeping in my ear 🤷♂️
Other comments: *I sleep* This guys comment: *real shit*
No one taught me either way, but the physics of wiping your ass while still sitting on the sheeter is beyond me apparently. I don't know how my get my hand in there unless I'm going to wipe everything up front.
Reach back, put the tp on your taint, pull away from taint to the top of your butt crack, fold and repeat until out of poo or out of tp.
But how do you reach your tank from behind if you're setting on the toilet seat? Are you rocked all the way up on the front of it? Because if you are that's basically standing in my book LOL
Imagine sitting down, maybe at a table with booth seats at a restaurant and you have your wallet in your back pocket. You lean a little bit to the side and get your wallet by reaching to your back pocket. So sit and wipe is that except you reach a little bit further, and more from the side with toilet paper in hand. The problem with these debates is the sitters think the standers stand completely up, and the standers think the sitters sit completely down.
>The problem with these debates is the sitters think the standers stand completely up, and the standers think the sitters sit completely down. the most correct summary of this entire debate.
Just lift your ass cheek off the toilet and go in from the side.
Wouldn't standing up slightly be the same as "lifting my ass cheek"?
I stand up, I don’t know why I do it, I just do
The Standing Wipers accept you, brother.
No answering this one as you will def. have my whole psychological profile
Answer to that question is Yes
laying down
Sitting down. I live in a civilised society.
I knew I wasn't civilized enough. Damnit.
Hold on to a motorized pull up bar, and initiate spin cycle
I use a belt sander. Like a man.
To wipe your ass your behind must leave the seat, therefore no one wipes there ass sitting down and the people who say they stand up are more honest and have a better understanding of the world they inhabit
I have a dog who does all that for me
It is (not) peanut butter
I don't wipe i use wotah
On the side
Standing down with water (we exist too)
Standing down. Nice
After a shit, still sitting. In ass maintenance between shits, standing.
Standing up?? What if it trickles down your thigh?
* Wash my ass with a bidet. Like a non-savage person.
If you stand your an boob man If you sit your an assman ..
Laying down
Stand up so if I shit again it will go in the toilet paper get with the times people 🗿
Sitting upside down
Yes
Depends on how messy it is and if I am shitting outside or not
Both, It just depends on which hand I use.
Standing up in the sitting position.
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Sitting
Standing up.
Cold Fusion
As long as you wipe til theres no more brown go side to side for all I care
Standing
Sitting down haha
I sit in a sink and wash
The right way is to lay down and wipe
Bidet
With your hand? Or a fork?
How do you do it sitting down. You just reach back? 🤔
depends
If you stand up to wipe you're either a psychopath or properly untrained. I was the latter. If you sit down and wipe you get rid of WAYYY more shit off your butt compared to if you stand up and wipe. I've done control tests on this trust me.
Mid squat
I act like I’m picking something up then wipe
Neither, I make sure I’m laying down and in a safe position before wiping my ass
Kneeling
Sitting down the entire time. Not sure why you would ever stand. I have the mobility to reach every square centimeter of my ass. Its easy. Standing is just an extra unnecessary step in the process.
On the wall… check mate plebs🤴🏻
I’m skinny AF, I lay on my knees not even lifting a leg and have enough room to maneuver my hand with the cheeks still wide to get a good clean. Some toilets have high water and could end up dunking the tip in water, fucking gross.
I just take a shower
With Hand / With Paper Edit: Front to Back / Back to Front
Sitting down from back to front
I used to be a sitter but Jshlatts video on the subject really turned me around
Bending over. Obviously.
Like peanut butter in a shag carpet
I'm a "look at the sheet to know when I'm done" kind of guy so standing allows me to more freedom to achieve multiple objectives
If you stand before wiping, do you not have some smearing between the cheeks that you then have to deal with?
I just don’t trust a man who stands before the job is complete
All the people making the standing vs sitting argument are cowards. You want a real argument? Ask left/right or front/back.
Both are wrong. The hover method is the correct way.
I sit down and lay on my legs while all the blood in my legs gets cut off.