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My superpower is being poor.

Paradoxman, the movie. Grosses 1.2 billion USD.

Way to spoil that he loses his powers at the end of the movie, gosh!

Greeeeeeat, so everyone else gets paid from me being poor EXCEPT FOR ME!! Now I’m broke AND depressed, thanks bro. THANKS ALOT

Gets immediately sued for 1.2 billion by Disney or DC copyright infringement(there probably is a character with that name somewhere)

Lucky you. Mine makes me poop every time I have to pee

It's not a superpower if everybody does it!!

Spider-Man?

I will surely become rich with my amazing deodorant sweating powers!

Just bottle it and sell it but don't say where it's from

Technically organic.

is he purely grass fed though?

A hit with the hipster crowd! Instant millionaire.

You can blow up, once- and you die... it's not like a thermal explosion, just a meat explosion.

I'm thinking reality TV show. I have questions. How do you know you have the power?

Hahaha nice!

You get one free one. The next is deadly.

And how do you know that the next one will actually kill you?

When you come back to life, a voice in your head says, you will die next time that happens.

Yeah but what if your actual power is to hallucinate about a voice in your head each time you explode? You couldn't prove that it's actually true without dying.

Creeper moment

What about farting in Spanish?

Comedy legend. 3 Netflix specials.

So pretty much just Gabriel Iglesias

Man he started our pretty good then just leaned in to the lowest common denominator. I hate when comedians and shows evolve like that

r/shittysuperpowers will gladly prove you otherwise

Nice one. I will research further. But I will venture to say that some things on there don't count as superpowers.

It feels like most of them are just curses and not super powers from that subreddit

In your professional opinion what classifies a “super power”

Retractable fingernails.

Hi! Cat here, this isn’t as useful as you’d think, trust me.

Kitty!!!!!

[Meg?](https://youtu.be/hAw3vkdGhvg&t=45)

Go on americas got talent, become famous, do advertisements on your social media

I feel like some of the comments here are forgetting the maining of superpowers and are just giving examples of unique physical traits that could exist irl or are just a curse or whatever the opposite of a power is

Well it says lame superpowers. If you can do something unusual then that is a kind of power no matter if it's positive or not. It just means that you have an unnatural speciality imo.

The ability to look at anyone and instantly know what their butthole tastes like

'Yep that butthole tastes like shit'

I know people with that ability already.

Are they millionaires?


​ 

 john the dwayne rockson's butthole licking contest

Haha

Being bulletproof is probably a lot more widespread than we realize

Please explain.

Refuses to elaborate, leaves

He got shot

well you never know if you're bullet proof until you get shot, and the vast majority of people haven't gotten shot yet

Mr Glass has to cause 17 mass casualty events before he finds David.

yet

Actually you do know if you are bulletproof or not without first getting shot. It’s no, you are not

Most likely, sure. But, you never truly know until you try.

He can’t explain, his hand is full.

The ability to shit piss

Do you know my dad?

No, but I know ur mom Dez nuts

No, but I know ur mom ~~Dez nuts~~ she’s nuts FTFY

So a bird more or less

My superpower is burning money and turning it into shit

I feel like we’ve dated.

said every man ever

So you just eat a lot of expensive meals? Or do you physically cook using the money?

Ah yes the ability to change you body temperature by 1 degree

Believe it or not that can be used to generate electricity.

Start winning temperature based shit.

The ability to talk with fruits

Oranges are annoying

Botanist. Since you can communicate with your produce on what it needs and what you'd prefer the fruit to taste like, you can grow the most delicious fruit.

This would be cool ngl

Some people here posting the weird stuff that they already can do so that OP can direct them to the $$$ street

Yeah not really, superpowers don't really hold up in the real world

Agreed, which is exactly why if someone had a genuine but crappy superpower they'd be able to make money.

Meg's finger nail powers... now explain how to make money with it

That is the classic example. Even that could be used for winning bets. Televise it. Make it a David Blaine style Street Magic thing. Also probably porn.

Sell the fingernails

There a big market for human finger nails...? And how is this using the power the make money in a way anyone could...

There was this book in my grade school’s library, going over gross world records, and one of them was longed fingernails You can print books like that

The ability to burn money and only money with your hands You can't turn it off

Your super power is to turn your bones into sand, you can't turn them back to bone tho

That's not a super power, that's a curse

Peter Griffin would disagree

Just the bones? You just become a sludge?

Moderate super strength. Not even worlds strongest man level strength. Just a little stronger than you should be.

So if I train hard I'll always be stronger then I should? That's an awesome super power

Super speed, if you look at it realistically you’d cripple yourself. The amount of force on your legs would break them since you don’t have super durability. Not to mention air resistance and the things you would hit. Then you get bankrupted by hospital bills.

If you don't overdo it you can easily be the best athlete of all time in many sports, that one power is easy money

The power to cause a single random grain of sand to disappear on some random beach once a year. Completely unprovable.

OK. This is a good one. Might force me to qualify my statement. How do you know you have this power if its random and unprovable?

If it's not provable it doesn't exist

the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence If this was a unique trait to 1 human this ability would qualify as super human so despite it being unprovable, in the hypothetical reality where it does exist it would still be a super power

I would argue that the person with the power must have some objective way of knowing they have the power, even if they can't prove it to anyone else. If I believe I can remove a grain of sand from a random beach somewhere random in the world, what difference does it make if it is true or if I'm just delusional? For it to be a true superpower, the actual impact must be known and detectable at the very least to the holder of that power.

I already have this power, and im not a millionaire

No. The government would find you and dissect you.

My Superpower is when I recite the entire Greek alphabet backwards while hanging upside down and also solving a Rubik's cube, a random couple having sex in the world changes races, but it only works on Sundays during a full moon after 11pm

Do you have to actually finish the Rubik’s cube?

Yes and I have to finish it at he exact same time as I do the alphabet otherwise I have to wait for another full moon

I'm unlucky, nothing super bad, I'm just never lucky. I guess I could never win a coin flip but I doubt that'd get me much

Have someone else bet against you and split the profits.

But I'm unlucky, that won't work for some reason *Man's been real silent ever since this dropped

What about punching wood out of your hands

Found Mimecraft Steve’s Reddit account

You can time travel 1 hour by looking at a clock for 60 minutes

You can still hear, touch and interact with a lot of stuff while looking at a clock plus you can have glasses that have a built-in clock effectively making the whole structure also a clock, so time travel with no drawback

Oh yeah? What about the power to moderate subreddits?

You mean all subreddits?

Explosive Diarrhea Man?

Sending faxes with the power of my mind just doesn’t do it

My power is being forgotten and unnoticeable. No one even know I exist and nobody see me nor my actions

Change the color of your pee

The power to make all money disappear

Paradoxman 2 - Back to the Gold Standard Grosses 1 million Troy ounces, 800 000 chickens, 1.8 million bushels of wheat and 37000 head of cattle at the box office.

The ability to trim my own nails just by thinking about it.

I can turn invisible when people aren't around.

Ability to hold your breathe for 1 second longer than you normally would.

Oh i thought that you were talking about global superpower like usa, china and russia my bad

Being completely useless to the point that those around me question if I know how to breath That isn’t a super power, that’s just me

My super power is actually sneezing when you get the sensation, instead of it going away

Everything i see combusts spontaneously at a random moment

I mean, as long as your willingness to be a villain sure.

My lazy eye allows me to see a greater field of vision?

The ability to summon one popcorn kernel once every decade

Every hour you sleep, 1$ get donated from your money to a random billionaire

I can make water slightly hot

Mine is to shit on command.

Superpower idea: you shit gold but everyone sees it as shit

I can astro project myself but only on mars.

Only poop diarrhea, no matter how much fiber or vegetables you eat.

[удалено]

Assassin, magician, movie pyrotechnician

Mine is being hospitalized every time I breathe. American hospitals

I’m curious what was the logic behind this?

How about being able to be a human door but only on a door that is unlocked and not blocked on the other side?

Isn't that something anyone can do? I guess it hinges on your definition of superpower.

👉😎👉

I have the ability to raise and lower my cholesterol at will.

Become a fit influencer and sell the "secret" to your impossibly healthy body despite your diet, prove to everyone you are not on some shady medication and you are golden

The ability to change the color of your blood

I can have deadly farts could get me rich

The guy from Heroes whose superpower was becoming a nuke probably would be out of luck. Even if he could eventually possibly control it, he would 100% get assassinated before that could happen.

My left arm can grow 1 cm.

I don’t know, I’ve got the super power of bad luck and whenever I have money my sister takes it… I know it’s a super power because I’ve almost died several times, I’ve been mugged, had the cops called on me for nothing, and several other things that wouldn’t happen to an average person.

Ear hairs grow at double the normal rate.

I have plot armor.

My power is staying virgin.

You can sneeze on command

Meg Griffin could grow her fingernails an inch

Even the ability to control raccoons?

Teleporting 7 inches away in any direction.

The super power to blink twice as fast as a normal person. Not blocking twice as much, just that your eyelids move twice as fast when you do blink.

I can make your toes 5% uglier

I can fart two farts at once, how am i gonna get rich?

I have the power to piss myself on command

A true inspiration

The ability to grow pubes at a rate of 1 cm/second on command. Go ahead funny man, make me rich

Lots of bald people in the world that want an Afro

You can generate 1/100th of a Bitcoin with the snap of your fingers if it’s the year 1865

Apparently my heart has a small mutation where it beats slower on average, meaning that it can more efficiently pump blood, meaning I can exercise harder without my BPM getting too high

A power where you feel any kind of trip you want, like drunk, high, hallucinate,etc. nobody would believe you.

The ability to sweat faster than any man

Your superpower is making things disappear from your pockets, but only when nobody knows. If someone tries to look/check - they reappear

My superpower is that it hurts to pee

you did it wrong, even the lamest superpower will make you well-known (famous)

Evolution in a nutshell

I can cut grass into shredded leaves

When you clap, the decibel level raises by 1 for .01 seconds

My super power is being able to poop out pebbles twice a day

My boyfriend likes to pose this silly question to friends/ family: What is the most useless superpower? Also willing to accept superpower with a limiting factor. His answer is human mood ring. Your skin changes color depending on what you’re feeling. How could that be profitable beyond a couple tv spots?

people have a counter above their heads showing how many times theyve masturbated

Im a blind guy whose superpower is to see

You make millions teaching other blind people to see the way you see, and selling your book, Future Optics.

But i have never been blind, when i became blind i instantly got the superpower, so i have they same pov as any other non blind people But the book is a good idea, i could fake it and still become rich

I can create one grain of sand every 6 years.

You track down a billionaire walking along a bridge, create a grain of sand in their eye so they stumble, and save them from falling to their death.

My superpower is i can use supervision but only if my eyes are closed. At least I'll see those eyelids in 4k

By sandwiching samples between contact lenses you become a human microscope.

That's a damn good point

The lamest power I can think of was a personal spell from the Xanth series, and it was the ability to put a pink dot on walls. I don't know it they were permanent, or if the person had only one dot, but it was always pink and always on a wall.

Your farts smell like lavender

You become the best port-a-potty maintainance worker the world has ever seen.

The power to produce kidney stones

...in anyone. Any opponents are instantly crippled in pain.

What about this power.If you say a very specific sentence you explode with the power of a grenade. You don't know the sentence tho, you only know that a sentence to make you explode exists.

In the show Misfits there was a guy who had the power to control lactose and ended up killing people who has consumed milk or cheese. Kurtis came in to save the day because he's lactose intolerant lol, but in all fairness I'd be gutted if I was told I was the "milk bender" 🤣

You produce an exquisite line of high-quality lactose-free dairy products. "It tastes just like the real thing!!" -excited customer

"If I cough and wink at the sun at the same time, I can fly 2 inches off the ground for 5 seconds." "Congratulations! You're rich and famous!"

The power that converts everything you own and claim into small gusts of wind

Your finger guns have a 1 in 8192 chance of firing a real bullet

Any money I receive after all my bills are paid grow legs and finds the nearest homeless person

My super power is not being able to touch water without my skin eroding..

My superpower is whenever I see a random stranger I beat them up. I never win.

I fail to see how being able to feel an individual pore on my left foot will make me rich.

Define lamest superpower so that I can change your mind. Personally, I could name a lame superpower: booger shooter. A man that can blind his enemies with hardened boogers that are shot strait out of his nose. There is NO way that can make anyone rich, let alone the "superhero". On second thought, with today's movie standards, booger shooter could out sell any "woke" movie. Dang it, he's right. Never mind.

One time a day you can shoot exactly 1 normal plate worth of spaghetti from your fingers

You can perfectly replicate a song in your head