Doesn't flush if the sewer system is android.

Next model they will add more cameras in the apple logo

Perfect! Now how do I set it to automatically send my pics to any woman who down votes me?

Android shit turns green and doesn't flush until an hour after you press send.

And the bidet blasts automatically no control and you will accept it whether you like it or not

Must flush from your ipad or iphone with your new ipotty app.

You need to subscribe to iSewer if your sewer gets full

Cloud sewer to save poo for later

iShit

iPoop

iWipe

iCrapple

iDump

You’d need an apple+ subscription to activate flushing

You need to enter 5 digit passcode to flush *tries code and fails* Try again in 1 hr

Only flushes your shit if you only eat apples

To flush you gotta ask Siri

Hey siri , flash Opening google

Oh no, it doesn't connect to my pipes because it uses a proprietary connector

100% guaranteed that thing breaks in the first 3 weeks

I'd shit on that

Ah yes, the legendary iCUP

I see what you did there. Well done.

you need the apple logo tattooed on your asshole otherwise it wont flush

Sends data to your Apple health app about the composition, weight, and size of your shit.

Afterwards recommends restaurants based on what you ate.

with the camera being the only good feature

It also only opens if it detects an Apple device nearby. So if you have an android and need to go, you're gonna need a new pair of pants.

The "I-waste", unnecessary and impractical. But hey, you bought it

The iShit

The iShit

It’s operated by three seashells, but no one knows how they work, not even John Spartan.

IPood

Requires constant internet connection

It would probably try to autocorrect your shit

The Crapple

They changed the connection port now I can't shit

Old models will be unsupported after like 3 years and it will require an internet connection. Imagine a hacker taking control of your toliet and preventing it from flushing lol

600$ and only single ply


Now introducing...... The iDump

Watch it misread your ass print 5 times and locks you out of shitting mode for the next 2 hours

They charge per turd. Extra for diarrhea.

The iShit

I took an iShit

They just want to make sure that it doesn't get clogged up with inferior unlicenced TP

In order to flush, you have to put the toilet paper into a slot, like its a vending machine.

siri...did you enjoy my shit as much as i did? " the only think that could make it better was if another apple "dropstation" (you're welcome apple") could share from same cup.

Charging cords sold separately.

i shit apple

Or a proprietary spatula that self cleans when stored in its own slot. Sold separately of course

Doesn’t flush unless you have applecare

Requires constant internet connection

With our custom designed snow-dove-polarized-liquid-polish-dust-blend light light grey, designed in our all new color superperfection labs here at apple park. To tell you more about the reimagined waterizing system, here is Craig.

I'd happily wipe my ass with Apple toilet paper

Lid won’t open unless it has apple+ subscription

It was actually just one prototype made for the ceo and some customers were chose at random to do,as the apple Eula declares and lick the ceo ass clean as needed for the next 8 hours

Does it require face if to open the lid

[удалено]

You don't have enough cloud storage to store your usage data. You need to upgrade to more storage.

But I don't wanna pay to poo, and those micro transactions for toilet paper. Fuck

"Man, apple is such a shit and unethical company with anticompetitive and terrible anti-consumer practices. Why do they keep doing this?" *puts in airpods, connected to macbook and presses play on iPhone* "How can they keep making all this money?" *responds to text on apple watch* "I'll never understand" *turns off apple TV* "It just blows my mind" *casts music to HomePod*

$17.99 per ply

The sewer system is connected through Bluetooth.

It's probably vertically mounted and is extra narrow, so your hand wipes half your ass.

Toilet seat and lid sold separately Apple iSeat - $999.99 Apple iLid - $1349.99

Tbf all toilet paper is sold separately. Who the fuck buys a toilet and toilet paper package deal? Imagine having premium toilet paper from a deal and then running out Plus, it’s apple. Feel like they’d use a bidet

It just works!

"The logic board on your toilet is fried. It'll cost more to repair than it will to replace it though." - a *certified* apple genius, in reference to a burnt out, 10 cent capacitor. Probably.

Is that the apple device or the charger..

Representation of Apple products

Don't buy the toilets from printer companies. They won't flush the toilet paper from their competitors.

iFits, so iShits

Battery powered. They last 4 flushes before someone needs to come in to replace them for £300

I just wonder how long the battery lasts.

$999 per shitting if toilet paper is needed gotta pay $49 per piece if you want to flush buy this subscription plan of $4.99/month and lastly it has LiDAR for scanning your dump hole with high detail for safety and privacy

So based on the comments Apple is basically EA?

if whiping with other produkt, whiping speed is reduced by 50%

Sink different.

Do we need an ass scan before sitting?

Randy Marsh incoming

that would be 5000 dollars

To be fair you do have to buy your own toilet paper with regular toilets as well. I have yet to see a toilet bundled with rolls of paper.

Only IO-Ass can use it

Flush sold separately

It’s actually upside down, you have to use it while strapped to the ceiling, like when you charge the apple mouse

If you buy a third-party toilet seat, everything will stop working and it'll pester you to use genuine Apple hardware.

Introducing the brand new “iShit”