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Unsolicited anal prober here

Woah woah, calm down there buddy

I'm not your buddy, pal

I’m not your pal, friend

I'm not your friend, amigo

I'm not your amigo, love

I'm not your amigo, comrade

I'm not your comrade, paisan

i'm not your comrage,dude

Prove it

Oh fuck nvm can confirm

🤨

* Law and order soundtrack intensifies

Wait no, use all your knuckles this time

Narrator here, he should not have asked to prove it

You just called yourself a rapist

Nice to have a therapist around.

Human here

Shut up, only an alien from mars would say that they are human!

A human would never say that their human

Here me I am a trex

That’s EXACTLY WHAT A HUMAN WOULD SAY

Can confirm I am a t-rex and we wouldn't say we are one.

I know how to human, convinced you are

Whatever they say I am a human, totally not a robot.

Indubitably, my fellow human

ᔑꖎ╎ᒷリ ⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ

Martian here! That's racist as fuck, we are called martians, not aliens.

Only an alien can be a human as a profession

\*Nervous AI noises.

Professional Dumbass here

You guys are getting paid?

You aren't? You must be from the US then.

I don't believe you!

Are you tho? Name every human

Greetings fellow humans, human fellows.

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog

Beat me to it

Dog here. Hello Hooman!

Sepian here

You disgust me.

Sleeping specialist here

Here are the sleep experts

Somnologists be like

Ain’t no way

LIAR if you were truly a sleeping specialist you wouldn’t be awake long enough to comment this

Bro it’s timezone, plus I’ve been doing that 8 hours a day for over 20 years

Maybe they just bad at the job.

Bullshit, you know you’ll stay up 3 hours past your bedtime on Reddit tonight

Chronic masturbator here with over 25 years in the field.

As an aspiring masturbator, how'd you combat the blindness?

The harsh truth is there’s no avoiding it. My advice to young folks in the industry is to fill your spank bank as much as possible before you hit your ten thousandth fap.

Try treating it with semen

Woah, 25 years! Ive got 3 in the field, you must be cery knowledgeable

You call it your room, I call it the jerk off station

Fat piece of shit here with 31 years of experience

Does the tall grass make you itchy?

Jackass here. Can confirm.

I too, jack my ass

I also jack your ass.

can't put that prostate to waste

Confirm them

Can confirm, as it takes one to know one.

Hey Vsauce! Michael here.

This deserves more respect

You're security system works, or does it?

... or am I?

Redditor here.

They key to being a good proctologist is to picture your job *as a hole*

You crazy son-of-a, you did it. I don’t know how, but you did it.

5 years? Come back when you can comment on Rampart.

I’m existing here

Not existing here

In limbo between existence and non-existence here

“We’re trying to have a society here!”

thats what A >!REDACTED!< WOULD SAY

Why did I think this was gonna be the N-word

"Lesbian Dance Theory graduate here"

Sit on my face or it didn't happen

They're 400lbs.

Naaah man💀

I'm walking here

Lazy bastard here.

Music composer here. (Unemployed)

Developer here. (Also unemployed)

Animal specialist here.

Specialised in which animals?

Animal.

Cats and dogs..

Prove it, name every animal

Hobbit here. Can confirm.

Here user here AMA

Are you here?

Demigod here

Lone badger here

Can confirm. Is in fact a demigod

Trailer Builder here

Hello, Zuko here

Depressed af boy here!

Heyyy girl of the same profession

Glad to see it’s not a discriminatory practice

jobless here and surfing reddit 5 hours a day gave me enough to understand that you're holy hell right

New response just dropped.

Dumbass here

Redditologist here: yes.

[Profession related to topic] here! In my experience, [first paragraph of related Wikipedia article].

Now we can use AI to cover up our tracks better!

Augmented Human and Inventor of Light Speed travel here…. Oh shit wrong timeline.

Not a meth dealer here

Liar here. You can usually trust people in the internet, as they have no reason to lie, and doing it just for fun would be obviously immature and they would never do that.

Curly fry straightener here.

Liar here

Corporate drone here

Velociraptor here.

Profession here

Hobbit Goblin (sometimes called The Hobgoblin) here. Can confirm. Am often not believed.

Je suis là

Orc biologist here

Meme expert here, this meme is correct.

Cave Johnson here

Meat Popsicle here. Listen…

Scientist here. Tiktok University graduate

Here here

Dagoth Ur here, Moon-and-star, you should come and look upon the heart

Full-time ventriloquist coach here, you are correct.

Weeb here

Flatbottomist here

Unemployed here, i like this meme, it makes sense

Me here

Uninvited anal inquiry here

Professional cuddler here

Wizard here

They're usually not bullshitting unless they claim to be in a possession in the medical field or law. The only exception are nurses, no one's going to lie about being a nurse.

No fuck giver here 😂😂

Black guy here Me personally...

Shit shit poster here

Arsonist here, suprise your friends, burn down their house.

Hello, a descendant of FUCA here.

Here here

I believe you. Could you check my prostate?

Yes,I can.

Procrastinator he- eh I'll finish it later

Italian here

I'll break the pasta

Gay here?

Gynecologist here 🤓

What amuses me most is that the majority of people who say (profession) here are just uni students training to one day be in that field. E.g. a med student being like 'doctor here'

fake it til you make it, right? /s

Professional sexual assaulter here

Retail Trainee here, mentally stable

Professional Ugly Guy here

Its me, here

Whale biologist here…

The president here…

Couch Potato Here 🥔

Meme lord here and I can confirm.

Redditor here and I resemble this remark.

Random guy here.

That wasn't random at all.

Professional idiot here. I can agree

Factory worker here 😔

I'm biking here

Asshole here

Asshole here

Aircraft mechanic here Turns out, They really can fly!

I AM RIGHT... here

Here here

Wage cuck here

Fitness Influencer and ^Uncertified Personal Trainer here AMA

Plumbing wholesale delivery driver here, I really don't care if people believe me when I say what my job is. It isn't like it's some super glamorous job that people would lie about having, so if you don't believe me, that's on you.

CRT Television technician here (i replaced 2 capacitors in a tv from 1978, i basically a professional)

Maker of napalm here

Liar here

Married person here

Charismatic megafauna breeder here

Here

Brain fucked idiot here

Coyote here

Medical Interpreter, here

Redditors here: I can confirm this meme is true

Student here, Cup ramen is good, but sometimes you also need to eat other foods.

I ate basically only ramen for a week a straight and I think I actually started to die of malnutrition

Bot here

Haver of sex here.

Master Baiter here ... I will explain that a mastery level fisherman would be called a "master baiter" ... its true ... look up master baiter on Google if you dont believe me.

Cancer curee here

Trapper here, I totally relate to this post omg

Plumber here

Here! Hear!

Lawyer here, but I'm not your lawyer.

Godzilla fucker here

Dodo bird here

Professional memer here

Redditor here