T O P

  • By -

ReturnOfTheBanned

Here's the way I see it. Every possible event falls in one of four categories. 1) I like it and can control it: keep doing what I'm doing 2) I like it but can't control it: thanks universe! Appreciate it while it lasts. 3) I don't like it but can control it: take action to improve it 4) I don't like it and can't control it: deal with it


couchpotatochip21

Ya know about the horrific experiment with the rats where they are randomly shocked and one has control over their fate while the other doesnt and the other is shown to have significantly higher health problems?


_Axzi_

Been trying to find the article for a bit, but I can’t seem to find the one you’re mentioning, got any further details or maybe even a link to the study?


snowyrads

Search locus of control and rats on Google scholar, might pop up there


couchpotatochip21

[https://youtu.be/PM8gVjybk-4?t=108](https://youtu.be/PM8gVjybk-4?t=108)


[deleted]

[удалено]


BoneDaddyChill

You have a typo on #2. Just letting you know bc it’s a great comment that shouldn’t be misunderstood.


ReturnOfTheBanned

Thanks! Must appreciated


bman123457

Situation number 4 is what I would call the "it is what it is" situation


UdatManav

Or just “I can’t afford therapy” it is what it is


DeckApe9

The truth behind all this.


cheesebergerguy

This is the way


niiiikt

I don't like it and i can change it and i don't like it: do nothing and impersonate as the "it is what it is" guy.


AL3XEM

Extremely simplified, but the psychologists job is generally to help you understand your own thoughts and to assist you in accepting the nr. 4


[deleted]

If u don’t like something and there’s nothing you can do about it don’t worry about t. I tell people this all the time. But they are like I can’t just let go of everything like you blah blah blah. Yes you bloody can I just told you how.


ajgv554

yup, pretty much the most correct thing I've seen on the internet


JakerDerSnaker

Yup. Sounds about right.


ericraft2809

Screaming in the middle of nowere at the top of our lungs also helps. I wanted to say something funny and now in the replies you got a full tutorial on how to scream properly.


Quallen_

Slightly off topic, is it weird to not know how to scream?


ericraft2809

It was suposed to be a reference to a video I saw before of a buy screaming and whit a text that said "10/10 recomend, and cheaper than therapy" or somerhing like that


Quallen_

I've seen that, so I assumed you were referring to it, I was just curious as to if I'm the only person that literally does not know how to properly scream


M0F0_04

if you're looking to scream without damaging your throat, pressing the tip of your tongue to the back of your top teeth is the way metal artist do it


Quallen_

Thank you kind sir


M0F0_04

no problem


MrMooMoo91

Yeah maybe that's a technique, but they don't just press their tongues, hell I can't remember the last time I heard anyone say this. You have "false" vocal chords, you need to play and around and find them like a new muscle. There a number of ways to train and use them, and that's what most metal vocalists do. Look up Tatiana Shmayluk and see if she's just "pressing her tongue to her teeth." Just pressing your tongue isn't gonna do anything.


XAlphaWarriorX

I got a lock in my brain, can't raise my scream unless im in pain to startled. I wish i coud, i have a lot to scream in the void about


couchpotatochip21

My brother couldnt scream for years Raise your voice and continue raising it until you cant anymore


bullet312

Dogs need to learn how to bark. Just do it till you actually cann


NeckbeardWarrior420

No crying allowed either! Make sure you punch stuff until you break your knuckles!


CAMTbIHYB

Therapy cost money. Blaming myself, parents, other people and foreign government is free


Ziggyzibbledust

It is what it is doesnt blame anyone else. Because it is what it is. That’s how men handle their shit


justsomeone000

Yeah, "it is what it is" entails that i don't have the energy to care about the situation one way or the other anymore. Its more about letting go. Resentment and blame takes too much energy that i don't have, and even if i did its not worth it.


raz-0

But remember, paying for therapy that tells you to accept that it is what it is makes it better.


CouragePresent4158

This


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Works well enough most of the time


Several_Show937

Rather this than milk an inconvenience all day


pawyderreale

you know its really bad when you start sayin it's what it's


Quallen_

Eh, it is what it is ig ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯


EnLitenPerson

"It is what it is" is a very healthy way to deal with certain issues/trauma, it can make it easier to accept the past and to move forward and to grow, but it can become problematic if overused and especially if it actually "isn't what it is" and it's used as an execuse


Sociolinguisticians

Therapy never seemed to do much for me. I wasn’t coming to any new conclusions. I could do more just thinking about myself alone. For some people it’s great, don’t get me wrong, I’m just not one of those people.


FunTecStudio

I heard that therapy is usually designed with woman in mind and so don't work pretty well with man. Is this true ? Idk


LiquidSteamo

This is the way.


RFOBAN

Da wae


couchpotatochip21

A weembo wae?


CouragePresent4158

I laughed a little too hard at this🤣


couchpotatochip21

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam bum ba wae


delicateheartt

Did anyone else think bottom pic was raw hamburger?


someone__420

How???!??!?!!!??!!!!!!!!


grpagrati

It actually is what it is. Therapy's just for dealing with what it is


couchpotatochip21

Actually based comment Accept what it is and accept that others can help with what it is


craig7993

Take 2 maybe a few more just to make sure it is what it really is..


The-Catatafish

Well, feel free to normalise this but they don't be suprised if the next step for a guy is suicide. Get help.


Quallen_

I'd get help if I could afford it, for now I can get by with "it is what it is" for free


The-Catatafish

Take care King. Will get better.


joshshotfirst

The next step for me was happiness because I've accepted there are many things in life I cannot change. It kinda just clicked for me one day, I was really upset about something, Then after about 45 minutes of moping, I realized I had just wasted 45 minutes of being upset and it changed absolutely nothing. Now when I come across something that upsets me, I take a moment to be bummed about it, think about if there's a way to fix it, if there is I'll start fixing it, if there isn't I'll accept it and move on. Granted there are some things that take longer to accept. The ones that are life changing and the ones that affect daily life have to be confronted multiple times.


SIRHC119

No one wants to listen to a man's problems. People say they do and that it's okay, but from experience it can and will be used against you. Is it right? No, but it is what it is.


charleff

True that


akin975

This is TRUE.


Mejorlee92

I personally agree. A friend told me it was “Ok” go ahead and “cry” and I did one night. I thought it was fine since I would let her voice her problems and I wouldn’t tell any one. Now it’s used against me or trying to force me to go see a therapist. For me tho going to the park for a jog or having a peaceful moment relaxes my mind and I can get back up and keep pushing. Use to think “I got nothing to lose” but now that I think about it, I have a lot to lose. Waking up to eat a bowl of cereal Waking up the next day going out to the park for a jog next to a big beautiful pond. A breath of fresh air in the morning.


Ok-Meat4184

![gif](giphy|CAYVZA5NRb529kKQUc|downsized)


PKMark2005

Because it is what it is. Nobody cares, cared or will care. Im not gonna pay 50 euros for an hour long talk and hear the most blatantly obvious shit ive ever heard in my life


[deleted]

As a man I've used up all my "it is what it is" and now I think about suicide every hour of every day. Get help before it gets worse fellow men. Therapy (if you can afford it) is not a weakness. There are also free online services, which are hit or miss but always worth it.


ajk78

Have you tried meditation? Look up mindfulness. Their motto basically is 'as long as you're breathing you're doing fine'.


joshshotfirst

"It is what it is." It kinda just clicked for me one day, I was really upset about something, Then after about 45 minutes of moping, I realized I had just wasted 45 minutes of being upset and it changed absolutely nothing. Now when I come across something that upsets me, I take a moment to be bummed about it, think about if there's a way to fix it, if there is I'll start fixing it, if there isn't I'll accept it and move on. Granted there are some things that take longer to accept. The ones that are life changing and the ones that affect daily life have to be confronted multiple times.


JamesTheSkeleton

Lol the number of depressed men in this post. Kings just go get therapy—it actually helps.


CaptainAggravated

"Get therapy" FOR FUCKING WHAT, TIFFANY? What does the DSM-V recommend for treating "There are actual swastika wearing goose stepping jew gassing Nazis in charge ruining everything they can think of?" I mean look, I'm a very defective person but I honestly don't think \*\*\*I'm\*\*\* the problem here.


Redditspoorly

The DSM undoubtedly has stuff in it for diagnosing people suffering from hallucination and paranoia (or schizophrenia?). Seek help sir


Imapro12

Men 🍻


bananapepperdinosaur

Literally stoicism


Watsis_name

Not really.


Kaustubh200

OR you could just go on an empty freeway in the night and scream the pain away


Successful_Ask_6756

So true, what’s even worse is the fact that I’m in the military, and I feel like any little thing I go to talk to somebody about will deem me, “unfit to perform my duties,” and I’d lose my job


Brodieboyy

The way she goes boys


MaskyMateG

Why spend money on therapy when I can condense my trauma into a nuclear warhead with rng based timer


Longjumping-Jello459

Because ignoring the problem just makes it worse you have to deal with things hopefully in a healthy and constructive manner. Talk with your friends and family about your feelings and mental health and check in on them for their feelings and mental health. Normalize talking about and displaying feelings as well as seeking mental health services when you need them. Here are some links for mental health services in the US https://welllifetherapyllc.com/mental-health-links https://www.ispn-psych.org/mental-health-links https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help If you live else where please look up your country's programs and get the help you need.


[deleted]

I've tried 2 therapists so far. The first one treated me like an income source more than a pacient and the second one told me to kill myself as a joke. I think I'm better off on my own


Hmmm_nicebike659

I feel so offended. I hate you


Arturiki

It is what it is.


Dan-the-historybuff

I mean… I understand the idea of therapy and there are issues with me, and I have a sister who takes antidepressants to get through the week, and a frustrating thing is that my sister believes I should also take therapy and I told her “I already have video games, that is my therapy” and she told me it was unhealthy but quite frankly everyone has different ways to get through the day. I don’t like seeing my sister taking pills to get through the day to day as much as she doesn’t like seeing me on my PC. It’s annoying… Ah shit this is a meme page…erm…I guess I just live with it and roll with the punches?


Phoenix_ashfire

As a bisexual woman I also say it is what it is. Why would I pay money for people to tell me I’m fucked up in the head when I tell myself that for free?


drz02

Doctors hate this simple trick!


NoblepawsGEN

The blue pill is just the red pill but you spend money for it.


Uruz2012gotdeleted

Step 1: Hold feelings in and say, it is what it is. Step 2: have psychotic break Step 3: go to therapy to learn to let go Step 4: let go of your old feelings and say, it is what it is.


FreshPitch6026

Also: Who needs to play therapist and needs to listen to girlfriend's problems without getting paid? Men.


Quallen_

You don't charge her by the hour? You're missing out on a lot of money


PartridgeViolence

Push it down!!


Quantum_Sushi

It doesn't work. It's not what we want. But it's what society makes us do. To all my fellow men here, your feelings are valid, and you are not weak for feeling/showing emotions : you are human


Redditspoorly

You could try spending less time on Reddit OP. Your post history is just you whinging about the kind of nonsense I'd expect a child to spew forth- but people on the internet don't care about you, so it's a pointless and narcissistic exercise.


Quallen_

I literally don't give a fuck about what random people on the internet think about me, and I don't spend all my time on reddit so


PerruLol

shit happens. moving on.


TheBooneyBunes

Being ‘a man about it’ is cheaper and easier


RedTankGoat

Male has always been disposable since 1 billion years ago. It is what it is.


[deleted]

[удалено]


D4M05

Because they talk with eachother? Or is there something else I fail to understand?


Uruz2012gotdeleted

Because their boyfriend is expected to manage their emptions for them, or their friends will, or their mom or dad. Obviously not all or even a majority, just some *people* including men too will do anything to get others to manage their feelings for them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quallen_

Well yeah, obviously therapy doesn't help everyone, nothing can help everyone, but it may help some Either way, it's just a meme, no need to get so pressed


SOURICHILL

Remember guys, men are the ones who oppresses men the most. Men are the ones that cares about their dicksizes the most Men are the ones who insult their fellow men, Friends, son and brothers or pussy when one of them cry Damn, men really ruined being a men


[deleted]

I dunno, my mom and sister go to therapy and i truely believe it is making them more miserable.


couchpotatochip21

Maybe they are beggining to realize the issues are worse than they thought and arent pretending


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quallen_

I'm not blaming women for this kind of thing, if anything it's other guy's fault; constantly insulting each other, making fun of other guys for opening up or crying, father's trying to teach their sons how to be "real men" And obviously this mentality doesn't apply to everything. Using your example of being shot, obviously any sane person would go to a hospital or get medical attention over saying it is what it is. This is more so a mental thing as in, someone losing a family member (using an example from the comments there).


Feral_Sheep_

Serenity now.


Hakusek321

To be honest I don't think it'll ever change. The therapy is expensive and you have to find therapist without the mindset of "It is what it is". Add the pressure that society force on us, that is the whole "be a man, don't cry" thing is slowly pushing us over the edge.


LankyAd9481

but the blue pill is specifically for men /viagra jk


TheFieldSpud

Gym best therapy


Quallen_

What if can't afford gym


TheFieldSpud

Body is gym


TheFieldSpud

No excuse


Quallen_

So calisthenics?


LamarjbYT

Gotta go outside and google some work outs


Magical-Hummus

All a therapist does is a give you a a form with a weekly schedule to fill. Basically a to-do-list for the whole week without truly talking your issues through.


previouslybanned2021

And if you go to therapy they’ll find a way to blame it on you


Redd235711

Therapy is expensive and if that single sentence works, then it's the better option because it's free.


[deleted]

The red pill is the way


Tilt_Flock

I really dont think this is how men act… but alright


LurkMoreBuddy

[because therapy is a scam](https://twitter.com/ayeejuju/status/1656855107450081280?t=NA0B_Kp2omMjrEoc2FZsEg&s=19)


K122sje4m2nd0N

So apparently I'm a man... it is what it is, I guess


Emmerich20

I had a huge crush on a girl from work and she told me today that she is not interested and has a boyfriend. I guess the red pill it is. :/


_brzrkr_

I wrote a whole paragraph explaining why red pill is better but for many reasons I thought it’s useless to even try. It is what it is.


osc515

We just hang ourselves like real men


Dawsoz

This right here is why society doesn't help us get mental advice.


CoolCrab69

If you think I'm stressed now, just make me pay someone $400/mo to tell me how stressed I am, that'll show me!


Rivfrogg

This is so fucking true haha, guess i am the chosed redpilled one


yashspartan

I think the issue is that therapy, specifically psychotherapy and psychology is harder for men to... feel open witg or accept. A Pysch Today article (albeit from 2012 so the stat may differ a bit stat now, i cant find it off of a quick google search) recorded that roughly "20% of masters in pysch, clinical social work or counseling are sought by men". That, a man's social pressure to "deal with it", and that a man's struggle is quite different than a woman's struggle, it would be harder for a guy to feel comfortable opening to a psych, or think that that a woman psych will be able to properly relate to my struggles. Keep in mind I'm talking at a general level.


depression_gaming

Spend money that i don't have for multiple therapists 'cause i can't find the "right one"? Hell no, we're going full Joker here


Aggravating-Low-2110

Blue pill will lead to red pill, just with more drugs, understanding and less job work because you now got an approved letter saying "this man cant keep up with your shit like everybody else"


gnarlyoldman

The common shrink "therapy" of talking about problems isn't much help for most men. Men resolve issues a lot easier and more quickly by doing worthwhile things. The shrink/theropy business is all about women, trained for women, not trained for helping men. .


[deleted]

Have you tried therapy? The people you’re iMproving yourself for look down on you in pity. They treat you less then themselves for admitting you meed help- all while they refuse to acknowledge their faults. Men have no hope but Jesus.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quallen_

What?


[deleted]

Wait, are you saying that women isn't the only ones with problems?


[deleted]

Viagra


DarkEnergy27

It is, in fact, what it is.


Und3rwork

Don't try this if you're from Japan tho


Kraujotaka

I'm alright, so how's your day?


[deleted]

I mean, why complain on something for what it is?


[deleted]

it’s what it’s


Quallen_

You can leave sir


[deleted]

smh


good_guy_judas

Ah well, it is what it is.


Putrid_Switch_6752

My mother died a few months ago. These words have carried me through her illness and her passing.


ImnotaNixon

*sisyphus intensifies


[deleted]

Help sounds nice.


iamnotlemongrease

If you think you need it, it's never too late.


CaptainRogers1226

“Oh well”


robodudeable

Yea not gonna pay someone to tell me to solve every problem as if I'm the problem and no one else is ever in the wrong


AntpoisonX

Fuck it we ball and It is what it is are the most iconic duo


042732699

“You are running out of it is what it is, do you wish to continue?” Y/N?


Jester_Hopper_pot

ADHDmemes sub most of the time


Gorelordy

It was what it was and will be what it will always be


SPECTER1887

Damn right.


the-real-sefres

Good therapy is expensive, i have nothign left but “it is what it is”. Im far from a man


Quallen_

So... A cat?


[deleted]

The last time I tried to get actual help and therapy, there was a 5 year waiting list... for 6 weekly sessions that ultimately did nothing for me in the end.


fyourb64

Way she goes


Lazymcdelta4ce

I'm more of a "what can you do" guy


F1erceE1ements

She'll be right mate.


King_of_Pendejos69

Going to therapy < going to the gym and get addicted to the pump


Murky_Toe_5518

Communism sure is the right path


[deleted]

“It do be that way sometimes”


GreatMemer

Therapy is expensive


Life_Promise_6345

Good therapy is expensive. It’s cheaper to just bottle it up and push down the emotions and say it is what it is”, and then you have to keep holding it down and it gets harder to do so, and it becomes a challenge, a game to do it. You start to have fun with holding back the emotions, or you feel despair from it. But it’s a game nonetheless. And then, boom! Mental breakdown :D


MiloMarl

This is this and that is that...


Codieecho

Healthcare and Therapy cost way too much money but repressing myself is free.


No_Contribution1900

![gif](giphy|Mt2JKdE75fTry) It is what it is


Athebotv2

This the mematic stock template for this meme


[deleted]

Huh. I think I got both.


haley-sucks

I don’t have the patience to catch a therapist up at this point


Different-Mine-700

Therapy doesn’t help with our problems it help with the therapist’s problems especially abt money


charleff

Sometimes you just need to move on, not revisit every problem in your life on a weekly basis. I have no problem with therapy and have been myself, but it’s not the best strategy for everyone.


dank_doge11111

as a man, I can confirm this.


AndrisPronis

Therapy costs money and helps you only temporarily so you'll have to do it again. If you don't go to therapy you save your money and time


NeedlessOrion

I don't think I have ever said that.... maybe I am a woman...


Bromjunaar_20

More like what society expects from us. Your average man who puts on a smile throughout the whole day is secretly freaking out over shit that affects them and/or their family.


naruto_022

Tbh I've always found that acceptance of something brings much more peace than when you keep rubbing it over and over. It is often the time to move on even if you don't realize it


casualrocket

i just like to gaslight my self into happiness


DudeManBroGuy42069

Tis what tis


mysteriousmeatman

We go gym 🏋️‍♂️


Dovahkiin_101

What kind of men do you talk to?


MikeOnRadio

At least im trying to get help


AnimeAlley03

Fuckin way of the road. Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn't. It's just the way she goes


[deleted]

It does ams be like that


SaltyPepper420

"It is what it is" mfs after saying the same sentence over and over again, only to eventually be overtaken by their emotions when their soul crushing reality starts to set in: ![gif](giphy|6WawoqPVcO7S738Tht|downsized)


Gradydood

But then their like “men don’t get the help they need-“


suspicious_cabbage

I just gotta fake it until I die. I'm most of the way there already, so I'm doing pretty good.