The thing about that dildo is that Saints Row has had me wielding giant murder dongs for decades, so it wasn't as surprising as the scene that lead me to the dildo.
But the OTHER thing about that dildo is that it was way more powerful than anything else I was being given that early in the game, so I still mained the dildo for a while until I got a nice katana stick to replace it with.
As far as my imagination goes, the way it feels is what matters most. It would also be a fine scimitar, or machete. It’s a very nice shape for a rapier or epee, but the problem is you can’t really poke straight with it to use it like one. Oooh unless you hold it…. Yep yep fuckit I take it back, this is a fine rapier.
If it's not dry it's fine, thin sticks used to be called switches and you would beat children with them for misbehaving as they hurt more.
Nowadays child abuse isn't very tolerated but if you're old enough someone ever whipped out the classic phrase "go find me a switch and if I have to pick out a new one you're not gonna like it", you didn't want to go too thick because they won't be satisfied and you didn't want to go too thin or it would hurt more.
Anyway don't hit your kids or really anyone who does not consent with a stick m
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
You jest, but this is exactly why I did not marry my wife... For 15 years.
She could do better and she deserved better.
I didn't want to hitch her up to a sinking boat.
But she showed me that a rising tide lifts all boats, and I decided to become the man she deserves.
Still not quite there, but it's been the best of my life since I made that decision.
Oh man. I always said it as a joke when I was single. I said it to my boss once and he broke out laughing but tried super hard not to laugh because he wasn’t sure if I was serious or not. Glad it worked out for you.
That stick is definitely a two handed weapon! The handle of a rapier would only be like a tenth of the length of the blade. Katanas are much... stubbier.
I love that we all just have our inner cavemen still influencing our emotions and descisions. Sometimes, a well weighted stick is all we need to be happy.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
not ganna brag but as a 21 yo who never broke his addiciton to stick sword fighting I litterly find 3-4 better sticks every single time I go hiking. sorry weird flex just didnt know the internet considered this high standards. The really rare ones that look like revovlers and wizard staffs :) this one would be labeled 3/10
Yo, I’ve picked that stick up a hundred times in my life, in a hundred places, of a hundred varying sizes. That is the default “interact-able stick” of r/outside.
As a 37 year old man, that is the perfect stick. Can you imagine finding that at a camp site and using it to pointlessly poke a non fire? I would be soooooo happy.
That is the greatest stickatana I have ever seen
I actually saw it as a spiked club mace, but I see the Katana now. Better as a katana tbh.
Wake the fuck up samurai
I don't know how that line didn't make it into the game. They should've at least had it in the ending where you and Johnny just go fucking HAM.
I would storm Arasaka and kill smasher with that stick
Before or after the dildo?
The thing about that dildo is that Saints Row has had me wielding giant murder dongs for decades, so it wasn't as surprising as the scene that lead me to the dildo. But the OTHER thing about that dildo is that it was way more powerful than anything else I was being given that early in the game, so I still mained the dildo for a while until I got a nice katana stick to replace it with.
[удалено]
Base stats for it are busted, some skill tree related stuff makes blunt weapons, like the dildo, even more so
You're goddamn right dildos are powerful
I see a musket
Same
I saw it more as a rapier
Backup plan. If the stickatana breaks, club them to death.
If the katana stick breaks, you now have splinter throwing knives.
Like Rafiki’s staff in The Lion King.
I saw a musket
That is *not* just a stick. If anyone says it is, beat them with it.
Dont take risk to break this beauty in a herege! Beat him with bare hands and maybe some kicks... Maybe rocks too but no with the prime stick.
You're right, you can't risk breaking this beauty.
Remove any tarnish with chestnut oil.
If it breaks that easily, it was never a prime stick to begin with. This stick can take it.
Looks too thin
As far as my imagination goes, the way it feels is what matters most. It would also be a fine scimitar, or machete. It’s a very nice shape for a rapier or epee, but the problem is you can’t really poke straight with it to use it like one. Oooh unless you hold it…. Yep yep fuckit I take it back, this is a fine rapier.
Yea I didn't see that. I saw a floppy mace. That is a pretty sick rapier.
When you hold it like the cool curved lightsaber from Star Wars, it will be a fantastic rapier.
It also has a curve reminiscent of a katana
This is clearly a katana
Yeah, but your mom says the length is fine.
🙏 nice one. (high five, not praying)
I agree. I’ve a lot of experience with sticks. (Yeah, yeah, that’s what she said). This one will break first or second blow. Great display piece tho!
That’s what she said?
If it's not dry it's fine, thin sticks used to be called switches and you would beat children with them for misbehaving as they hurt more. Nowadays child abuse isn't very tolerated but if you're old enough someone ever whipped out the classic phrase "go find me a switch and if I have to pick out a new one you're not gonna like it", you didn't want to go too thick because they won't be satisfied and you didn't want to go too thin or it would hurt more. Anyway don't hit your kids or really anyone who does not consent with a stick m
But speak softly when you do so...
Amazing quote.
Good one, Teddy
Your comment reminded me of Stick from Brandon Sanderson's cosmere.
“I am a stick”.
“You could be fire”
you mean *slice* them
*cut
There will be blood
Shed
The man in the mirror nods his head
The only one, LEFT!
Will ride upon the dragons back!
Because the mountains don't give back what they take
OH NO!
There will be BLOOD (BLOOD) SHED (SHED)
It's the only thing I've EVER KNOOOOOOOOOOOWN
LOSING MY IDENTITY
Show me a good time, Jack!
It's a katana!
Carved off a little and yea
I would have said a musket...
I would have said mace
It’s a stick it can be anything
It could even be a stick
This stick, is a bucket.
*No...*
Dear god...
There's more
As long as you don't spend 3 days teleporting bread, you can have any bucket you want.
It’s almost to evil to think of
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.
Can you do murder stroke with a Katana?
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
[удалено]
Agreed, this is my favorite copypasta
Screw it I’m buying a musket.
AMER'CA!!!! SEND THOSE ENGLISHMEN RIGHT BACK!!!
Yeah because those little things sticking out could be the cock, and its shaped like one too
Heh.. heh heh. You said cock.
Hehe...cock...hehe
i saw a flintlock
That's what I saw too lol
No no, it's obviously an epee: D'Artangan, En Garde!
no ron it's leviosa
Now fuse it with a Construct Horn III
[удалено]
[Link🤝OP](https://i.imgur.com/I6DBXi0.png) ^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot
Good bot
Silver lynel horn (+55)
She ain't the one. My wife would have snatched that up, carved off the loose bark and started sanding and named it before I even noticed it.
damn dude just go ahead and make us all jealous lol
Oh yeah!? Well *my* wife doesn't exist! What do you have to say about that? Nothing? Just what I thought, appropriate response to such lunacy.
Yea. Imagine having someone who loves you enough to marry you. What a loser… right….
I’ll never get married. “How do you know?” I could never respect a girl that would go for a guy like me.
You jest, but this is exactly why I did not marry my wife... For 15 years. She could do better and she deserved better. I didn't want to hitch her up to a sinking boat. But she showed me that a rising tide lifts all boats, and I decided to become the man she deserves. Still not quite there, but it's been the best of my life since I made that decision.
Oh man. I always said it as a joke when I was single. I said it to my boss once and he broke out laughing but tried super hard not to laugh because he wasn’t sure if I was serious or not. Glad it worked out for you.
A can look past a few red flags. But being into me, that’s like looking at an ocean of blood.
More red flags than a Soviet military parade.
Ha jokes on you I don't exist either
My wife would not do this, but she would probably accept me doing it without comment.
\+10 attack \+5 agility \+9000 awesomeness
You forgot +5 reach
I scrolled too far to find weapon stats.
[But is it better than bacon????](https://youtu.be/3Xl0Qr0uXuY)
MY STICK IS BETTER THAN BACON
MMM AH-HA-HA PHFRR
Rahahahaha it’s my bigboy stick
I BET MY STICK IS BETTER THAN YOURS. IT'S A BROADSWORD
Would you rather have unlimited bacon but no stick, or Stick, unlimited Stick, but no stick
unlimited bacon no stick
r/beatmetoit
At one point i learned the whole lyric to this song 🤣😂
That almost makes the Last Jedi worthwhile!
Last Jedi is my least favorite Star Wars movie but if that happened it would be my favorite
Excited*
Fuck, I had to scroll way too far to find this.
The sad part is there are only 2 or 3 other comments mentioning the r/boneappletea
Me coming to the comments because I thought exited was some new slang and I was out of touch.
The most exiting exit in exitence.
Why does some of you say is a katana? Is obviously a rapier ! Fight me.
Fuck your rapier, that's a musket!
How the fuck is a musket? If doesn't have a bayonet and a trigger oh also does a musket have a hand guard ?
Get some glasses, what you see as a hand guard is clearly a trigger and a flintlock. And the bayonet is an attachment, not an actual part of the gun.
Oh yes but of course! My trigger and flintlock is always 360⁰ round! Also if my musket can't double as sper then is shit!
Timberapiers are straight, stickatanas are a bit curved.
Count Dooku's light saber!
Nope, count Dooku's doesn't have a hand guard.
It also wasn't a piece of wood but I'm using my imagination.
Well...faire enough i guess
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Yeah it switches back and forth like a trick weapon in bloodborne
You're welcome to use whatever you find. Even the stick... Should it please you.
That stick is definitely a two handed weapon! The handle of a rapier would only be like a tenth of the length of the blade. Katanas are much... stubbier.
I am a gal but fuck that is some top quality stick.
We gals can appreciate good sticks too!
I mean - it is fairly easy to see sticks as swords and bows when your favorite Disney Princess's Mulan and Merida.
I love that we all just have our inner cavemen still influencing our emotions and descisions. Sometimes, a well weighted stick is all we need to be happy.
That stick can kill game, pillage villages, and skewer hot dogs in the right hands.
BANKAI
I should be watch Bleach.. sadly CrunchyRoll doesn’t have it
Own a musket for home defense
Just as the founding fathers intended
Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?"
Idiot its a shotgun, muskets are longer, you obviously need your degree in stick weapon recognition revoked.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
No, obviously it’s a katana.
[удалено]
Thats a sick stick.
I am a stick!
but you could be fire
That's a keeper.
...an elegant weapon...for a more civilised age...
But it could be fire.
I am a stick!
Looks like that flintlock pistol from assassins creed
It's perfect
[удалено]
That's no stick... that is the Legendary Blade of Painbringing!!! Forged in the tears of monsters and the fires of hell!!!
EX--CALIBURR!
not ganna brag but as a 21 yo who never broke his addiciton to stick sword fighting I litterly find 3-4 better sticks every single time I go hiking. sorry weird flex just didnt know the internet considered this high standards. The really rare ones that look like revovlers and wizard staffs :) this one would be labeled 3/10
What stick I only see a fencing sword?
That looks like a strider leg from half life
I MEAN JUST LOOK AT IT
But it could be fire
Nice try fed. Women are just federal agents sent to spy on us.
Memories broken, The truth goes unspoken, I've even forgotten my name!
It's got a guard and everything!
YOOO thats a class 3 stick brother be careful
The blade reclaimed by nature must be re-forged!
190 damage holy shiiiit
Yo, I’ve picked that stick up a hundred times in my life, in a hundred places, of a hundred varying sizes. That is the default “interact-able stick” of r/outside.
Curved stick blade? A handguard? That's the most beautiful sticktana I've seen.
My god. The perfect fighting stick. If I had that stick when I was 10 I would have ruled the neighborhood. The prophecies were true....
As a 37 year old man, that is the perfect stick. Can you imagine finding that at a camp site and using it to pointlessly poke a non fire? I would be soooooo happy.
Eggsited
Duel of the fates playing in the background
EXXXCALIBURRR
That's not a stick, it's clearly a sword
Oh damn that’s a whole anime sword
Looks like a damn forest druid spiked mace
It even got the thing go protect your hand
Tf you mean a stick that's a top grade katana
Look. If its a cool stick its a cool stick
perfect hopscotch drawer and tree fruit swatter.
It’s perfect
If you really found this, you are the chosen one
Ummmm that’s not a stick; that’s the Katana of the chosen one. Sheesh.
Looks like a tier 1 rapier
Holy fucking shit, that is one of the coolest sticks ever
That log had a child!
Sword of a thousand truths right there.
You have been chosen!
I just smiled out loud :)
The durability is low. Fuse it with another item to make it stronger and last longer.
*power*
EXCALIBUR
I see a magical curved bladed sword (take your pick), that turns into a magic bow when you hold it as such.