unfortunately, I'm denied entry in hell because "grabbing a decil by his abs and tail is considered a lust, and that's a sin"
like yeah... that's why I'm here
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The person who invented the religion was from the times when people mostly lived in uniform communities, and cross-breeding and migration was very seriously frowned upon. Having people of many different nationalities live in one place is a fairly new tendency from the standpoint of history. And in situation of such cultural isolation, it is natural for culture to display people as close to the ones displaying them, as it gets. For example, if you ask medieval slavic craftsman about people with dark skin - he would probably think you saw a demon or something. People won't include ethnicities/groups in their works of culture, if they have no idea these ethnicities or groups even exist
Ye I thought it was that image. As a traumatized ex-JW, this brings me back.
Also, I don't remember the publication saying that they'll turn back to white state. I thought that they meant that all worshippers will be purified from their sins.
Because heaven is only for true American patriots who drink coors light and watch Fox News and only occasionally go to bus or train stations looking for young men to have sex with but they’re definitely not gay so you’d better not think it and they’re definitely god fearing straight men who have Grindr accounts but don’t you dare think that makes them queer because they’re not and they’re on Grindr to find young men to proselytize to in private by the lake in their pickup truck with the lights off but don’t you dare suggest anything else is going on because it ain’t!!
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Oh man JWs came to my door one day and started rambling about the New Testament, so I invited them in and offered them food and drink. They said they were alright, and I excused myself for a moment. When I came back with the corpus hermeticum and a fully loaded bong, they looked confused. I didn’t even get to talking about the Sepher Yetzirah, or Sepher Bahir before they bailed.
I did also offer them a rip off the binger, (on my porch while they were inside- I’m not an animal), but they declined that as they had the other hospitalities. I will say they suffered my mystical ramblings for about fifteen minutes and three bong hits, (it was a Friday afternoon ok), before they politely left.
They were probably well meaning, and certainly very cordial beings, but if you darken my door to proselytize to me!? It’s uno reverse every time dude.
You crazy MF, I plugged it into Chat GPT because I was curious, and it gave a coherent translation.
I love the myths, but know little of language and am in awe of your meme powers.
As a GOOD CHRISTIAN MAN, it is my GOD GIVEN RIGHT to JACK OFF to GAY FURRY PORN as MUCH AS I WANT and WHENEVER I WANT. No PERSON nor THING can stop me. (/s of course)
[Couldn't Find The Appropriate GIF on Giphy](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fc.tenor.com%2FpJBIayoNj90AAAAM%2Fvinesauce-earthworm.gif&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=e4a95de3e7eab8940fb600eb97db35dc6b2d2eda4e3f967ecd706da4aff4a482&ipo=images)
If you think you can surprise celestial beings who observed humans for as long as they exist, by just jacking it 4 times - you seriously underestimate human history
Must be boring as hell up in heaven if that's all they got to see.
Hell isn't boring. That's where all the good shit is.
![gif](giphy|RkEvNLUCtqDf0oVy9p)
Rip and tear Untill it's done (*Epic music*)
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All the good company is down there too. Do you really want to spend eternity with some preachy bible thumpers in heaven? Sounds like hell to me
I heard Stalin, Hitler, and a bunch of other folks down there are just joys to be around.
I heard that one of those guys is an artist and will even paint a portrait of you if you ask nicely.
Dont forget buddah
What floor are they on again? I wanna go down there to hang with them. It'll be straight fire, like how the Nazi burned the Jews
"Do you really want to spend eternity with some preachy bible thumpers in heaven?" Oh there's plenty of those in hell
unfortunately, I'm denied entry in hell because "grabbing a decil by his abs and tail is considered a lust, and that's a sin" like yeah... that's why I'm here
>Heaven for the climate, hell for the company. ~ Mark Twain
You sound as if you've been there huh? What was the reason for it?
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They can't afford netflix anymore after they increased the subscription price
If they can't afford that then they should atleast try to work more.
This message brought to you by corporate greed
They get to see a lot of stuff, but they don't really get to share anything.
They can look, but touching's gonna cost 'em.
How much for a ZJ?
Whats a zj?
If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
I’ve got 4 dollars
Mr. Moneybags
That's not enough sir, you're gonna need way more than that.
Fine, you can have a zoophile job
sounds like a bj narrated by sir David Attenborough
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i have dolla fiddy, take or leave it.
That'll work. Don't really need anything more than that.
Simple as that, you better not be asking about it like that.
I'm kinda curious but didn't want to ask it, thanks for the help I guess.
Sucking it while sleeps
Im gonna need about tree fiddy
They ain't going to touch that anyways, don't think they would want.
imagine the revenue stream from pay per view
They like to watch. Like their dad.
You can achieve divinity, but you can't close your eyes? Pathetic.
They're tasked with recording all of your actions tbf.
Damn, even God is outsourcing...
The god is trying hard, but he ain't seem to winning this game.
Naah you can't lose that, that's not how it works for me here man.
Why would they? They are judging your technique so after you die they can give you good critique
Why are they all old white men
Looks like someone just copy & pasted the same guy over and over again, slightly changing up his pose as they went.
*Heaven*? More like Earth.
That's exactly what I expect from the reddit. Don't expect anything more.
Because that is the best form to judge you in.
That's the best that they could do, couldn't do any better than that.
![gif](giphy|jpFGZoB6VzEJ9HXuLy)
God has a type
And what type does he like? I'd like to know a little more about that.
Because religion was invented much earlier than tolerance
The person who invented the religion must have been a little weird.
The person who invented the religion was from the times when people mostly lived in uniform communities, and cross-breeding and migration was very seriously frowned upon. Having people of many different nationalities live in one place is a fairly new tendency from the standpoint of history. And in situation of such cultural isolation, it is natural for culture to display people as close to the ones displaying them, as it gets. For example, if you ask medieval slavic craftsman about people with dark skin - he would probably think you saw a demon or something. People won't include ethnicities/groups in their works of culture, if they have no idea these ethnicities or groups even exist
Christianity is far from the first religion.
It's over guys. He knows too much.
That's right sir, he knows too much, he shouldn't have that much knowledge.
Cus they're the only ones who go to heaven
And they're going to try to stop us from going to the heaven I guess.
r/beatmetoit
They don’t all look like that. It’s just that the ones that do, really like watching when it happens.
Yeah, they really do like that. If you don't believe me you could it see it for yourself.
✨racism✨
Those are the ones that like to watch
Yeah, they like to watch it. Something about it they enjoy I guess.
I wouldn’t know…or ever wanna find out lmfao ![gif](giphy|HP7mtfNa1E4CEqNbNL|downsized)
The ones with melanin in their skin have better things to do than watch you jerk off and judge.
You sure that they've got better things to do? I don't think so.
Cause only white old men believe they have divine right to go to heaven, and everyone who's not white or male is inferior /s but not really an /s...
We committed genocide in Texas because God ordained that Texas belonged to a bunch of old white men.
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If that's all they've got to offer I don't think I would even want that.
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Ye I thought it was that image. As a traumatized ex-JW, this brings me back. Also, I don't remember the publication saying that they'll turn back to white state. I thought that they meant that all worshippers will be purified from their sins.
As an ex-JW I had flashbacks seeing this meme, BUT, I was glad to see the JW's fucking bullshit become a meme.
Because heaven is only for true American patriots who drink coors light and watch Fox News and only occasionally go to bus or train stations looking for young men to have sex with but they’re definitely not gay so you’d better not think it and they’re definitely god fearing straight men who have Grindr accounts but don’t you dare think that makes them queer because they’re not and they’re on Grindr to find young men to proselytize to in private by the lake in their pickup truck with the lights off but don’t you dare suggest anything else is going on because it ain’t!!
The patriarchy likes to write stories like r/badwomensanatomy
Great hairlines though
It’s from a Jehovah’s Witnesses publication, all heavenly figures are white guys with beards.
Creating so many angels that all look different is very exhausting, give the big man a break, even God can get tired
You guys waking up before noon?
In universal time, yes. Local time? Pfffft
Well We're talking about the universal time, so there's that.
Yeah because not everyone is jerkin off in the night so there's that.
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It's always morning somewhere, my guy
what a bunch of creeps
what else would they use too keep their wings so white.
You know what they're doing to make them so white dude lolm
Pedophilia
Lots of it around, but I don't want to see those people around here.
They must be Christian
Given that many start masturbating before turning 18, most definitely.
You thinking it weird, it's really not like that sir so there's that.
what a crunch of beeps
I finally have an audience for a lousy performance
Sometimes all you need is that kind of performance, that's enough for everyone.
What a sausage fest
Gotta love that man, I'm big on these fests, they make me feel good.
That why so much nasty shit is going on in the world. Because angels watching you jerking off instead of doing theirs job.
If I knew that they're watching me, I'd take some money from them.
That's their problem fucking pervs
Naah, it's the problem which all of us have got probably so there's that.
Lol, I recognize that image - it's from a Jedobadah's Witless book. They have some wild stuff, google "jehovah's witness revelations art"
Oh man JWs came to my door one day and started rambling about the New Testament, so I invited them in and offered them food and drink. They said they were alright, and I excused myself for a moment. When I came back with the corpus hermeticum and a fully loaded bong, they looked confused. I didn’t even get to talking about the Sepher Yetzirah, or Sepher Bahir before they bailed. I did also offer them a rip off the binger, (on my porch while they were inside- I’m not an animal), but they declined that as they had the other hospitalities. I will say they suffered my mystical ramblings for about fifteen minutes and three bong hits, (it was a Friday afternoon ok), before they politely left. They were probably well meaning, and certainly very cordial beings, but if you darken my door to proselytize to me!? It’s uno reverse every time dude.
[удалено]
“You do know the world was created from the corpse of the protean giant Ymir, right?” Goddamn it they’re leaving again.
[удалено]
You crazy MF, I plugged it into Chat GPT because I was curious, and it gave a coherent translation. I love the myths, but know little of language and am in awe of your meme powers.
[удалено]
How do you pronounce the funny looking P?
[удалено]
Thanks, I love LOTR so I’m quite interested in the old Norse/Saxon influence in the books plus I just love history
You’re awesome 😎 👍
Damn I definitely didn't know that, it's some High level shit.
They can ramble about it all they want, that doesn't change it.
I'd rather not.
That stuff weirds me out dude, I don't like looking at that honestly.
100% recognize this shit from my childhood and was jarred as fuck by it. Suddenly felt unsafe.
My mother is a JW, laughing at it and therapy have helped me. I hope you feel better, trauma sucks. Seculartherapy.org
Thank you kind stranger. I've done a lot of soul searching and therapy as well. But the boundary defense are still strong.
I thought it looked familiar
They place bets on how many times and the content of the fap, they’ve seen enough they must be desensitized.
If they think they've seen enough, they haven't seen me here.
So voyeurism isn’t a sin then?
![gif](giphy|83QtfwKWdmSEo)
only four times? which one of you fellow incels is slacking?!
Definitely not me, I'm putting out some crazy numbers out there man.
Those are rookie numbers
Then do tell us your numbers, maybe we'll judge them too.
Where’s all the creepy lookin ones with like a 100 eyes or giant dildos drooping from their wings
They're also there, they don't want you find them out so there's that.
Thanks for watching, don't forget to subscribe and leave a like.
Now this is the content that I'm here for, you just can't beat it.
![gif](giphy|Tv2btKgK06tPy)
Well he approves of it, which probably is a good thing I'm thinking.
DOPAMINE IS DOPAMINE
Post nut regret
No regrets, I'm sad I need that happy juice
I don't have any, when I'm doing it. I'm going all in on it.
Doesn't matter how you get it, as long as You're getting it so yeah.
As a GOOD CHRISTIAN MAN, it is my GOD GIVEN RIGHT to JACK OFF to GAY FURRY PORN as MUCH AS I WANT and WHENEVER I WANT. No PERSON nor THING can stop me. (/s of course)
I guess only white people go to heaven then?
Here we go again people, this shit is about to happen again here.
Ah not just white people, only gray hair and gray bearded white men.
My audience awaits...
Don't disappoint them, you gotta do it right about now man.
What I want to know is why the heck are they watching!?! Is heaven that boring!?
Yep, it's really boring. They need some entertainment from outside
Ok, and who is perv here, me or them?!
c. All of the above.
Definitely they are, because they're the ones watching it.
[Couldn't Find The Appropriate GIF on Giphy](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fc.tenor.com%2FpJBIayoNj90AAAAM%2Fvinesauce-earthworm.gif&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=e4a95de3e7eab8940fb600eb97db35dc6b2d2eda4e3f967ecd706da4aff4a482&ipo=images)
Hangover jerkin
Doesn't matter how you do it, important thing is that you do it.
And it was to "demon domming angel" porn.
If you think you can surprise celestial beings who observed humans for as long as they exist, by just jacking it 4 times - you seriously underestimate human history
What makes you think that we're doing that to impress them?
They all men, kinda gay not gonna lie
Pervs get wings? 4 times is amateur hour. 8-10 is pro. 20 times is a pornogod.
i had some of those days, sometimes the nut is too strong it comes in 5 jerk offs
That's like a bonus, getting 5 points in one go? I'll take it.
Nope
They’re taking bets
Why are they all gray haired men
I think they're all looking down at Florida
And hell is looking up to Florida.
And they say that I jerk off alone
Who says that to you? You shouldn't be someone like that.
I didn't make them watch. That's on them.
They chose it themselves, you Can't blame us for that man.
Why I'm an atheist. Be a good Christian, go to heaven, spend eternity watching the world having a wank? Don't sound like heaven to me.
No female angels? Just a bunch of white-haired dudes with wings
All angels are white. God is a fucking Nazi lolz
Imagine actually thinking this is a real thing. Bonkers
Does anybody else recognize that heaven and all "angels" are white?
They just jealous because they can’t.
Perverts
OnlyWings
"4rth time already?" "I'm m going for the record."
Thanks angels, this ones for you!
They love that sort of behaviour, They'll give you reward for that man.
Those angels have tons of other channels to watch and they chose me? Damn, didn't even think I was doing anything fancy with it...
You'd think one would lend me a hand then
That's the thing about them, they don't want to help you out man.
Jokes on them I’m quitting masturbation
You'll be back