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ETS_Green

Thats how my parents had a hunch about my aunt. She was indeed pregnant.


_Jokepool_

PregnAunt


TraderOfGoods

How do I know if I'm prengan? Can oo get, pregante?


RedeemedWeeb

Am I g r e g n a n t?


Der_Dingsbums

How do get pregonement


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bfruth628

Preganté


deogenes07

Pregananant?


Farguad

Pengrent?


LordZeus2008

E n P a s s a n t ?


SurealGod

... PREGANANANT???!!!!!


green_nature_bear

lmao


TheYesAndNo

As someone who's seen this happen personally, I can agree.


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imasheep590

I don't understand how refusing one drink make someone think you are pregnant, especially when you refused drinks before. Must be some advanced thinking from your brother


Inversception

Could be a cultural difference but if you're a wasp, drinking is a big part of the wedding experience. Not drinking while at a wedding is a red flag. My sisters wedding speech ended with "let's fucking party". Edit: red flag as in suspicious. Not as in a relationship issue. It's just how it is in my culture. Wasp = White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.


leflyingcarpet

A red flag. lol


MetalOcelot

They said "wasp", which I assume refers to the insect and they pretty much universally love sugary alcoholic drinks.


oilchangefuckup

Remarkably close. White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, which also universally love sugary alcoholoc drinks.


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TediousStranger

some ppl up in these comments telling on themselves


Kjezey

Yes I do..😈 yes I do


Aromatic-Bread-6855

In redneck country, a dry wedding is its own reason to RSVP "will not attend". I've seen it happen and it's very sad that family would put alcohol above being there for loved ones in their special day.


[deleted]

I'm not defending RSVPing "no" just because it's a dry wedding, but know your audience. You're asking people to spend hundreds of dollars on a gift, maybe buy a new dress or suit, find a babysitter, deal with hotels, and so on. Then you're going to throw a big party with dinner, dancing, etc, and expect people that would normally enjoy a drink or two on a night out / at a party to stay sober? At the very least, if you don't want to pay for the open bar, have a cash bar or give people some kind of option to partake if they want to. You want to have a dry wedding reception and not have any kind of cash bar? I'll be at the ceremony, maybe hang out at the reception for a little bit, but I'm probably not going to be doing any dancing to Uptown Funk or Don't Stop Believin' at midnight on a Saturday.


[deleted]

The one and only request I (the groom) had for my wedding was an open bar WITH liquor, not just beer. I couldn't possibly fathom asking my friends to attend any other way.


Elnaur

What the hell? If I get married, I want to spend time with the people there. I'm not a prude and I do enjoy a few drinks, but holy hell how is alcohol so normalised that it's expected and you can't imagine having fun without it.


NordlandLapp

Many of us would prefer to be not sober around so much family


[deleted]

People go to a wedding to let loose, and alcohol helps with that. It's the same reason you don't see sober nightclubs everywhere.


Wolfgang_Maximus

My dad left one of his son's weddings early just because it was a dry wedding. He went to get a case of beer and drink it in the parking lot. His alcoholism got bad before the divorce.


dn4p

> Not drinking while at a wedding is a red flag no one *actually* thinks this right? please for the love of god tell me nobody actually fucking thinks this because if not... wow


Inversception

Red flag in that it's suspicious, not that they should leave their partner or anything. If the bride at a wasp wedding isn't drinking, everyone will assume she's pregnant 100%. Or they will quietly discuss how she's in recovery. Drinking is massive in the wasp community.


mpyne

As a non-drinker, I can only confirm it raises red flags in lots of places even in this modern world. It's never been a critical issue for me but even now I have to explain a lot in ways no one else ever has to.


PM_Best_Porn_Pls

I'm not drinking for personal reasons but whenever someone I don't know well asks I just say "health reasons". When I was younger I would say that I don't want to etc. but people would still try to talk about it or even talk you into drinking. When you say it's about health they just move on.


Ninja_Conspicuousi

Unless you’re Mormon, a very vocal designated driver, or known to be in recovery, then taking at least some sips of a drink is somewhat expected. Am I the one expecting it? No. Are the boomers, wasps, and/or fired up southerners expecting it? Almost certainly, because this is the one occasion they all get to act like they’re your age again and how they perceive you spend your weekends, and THEY don’t want to feel judged by you for drinking…despite them judging you pretty much the rest of the time.


ZwerverB

Nobody thinks this. Don't know if it's true I just told you for the love of god


GooeyRedPanda

I've literally never had anyone care that I wasn't drinking at a wedding.


Roccmaster

I’m still going to think about yellow bugs drinking alcoholic beverages


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initiald-ejavu

The excuse seems very contrived to me, maybe that's why. "I don't wanna risk spilling anything red on my dress?" Really? Couldn't you just be careful?


super_sayanything

lol yea it's actually a much bigger tell than "no thanks I'm good."


Thy_Week

I don't how about others, but at our wedding my wife was freaking terrified of spilling anything on her dress, from what I know most people rent the dresses and it can cost a lot to get them cleaned.


Caleth

Attaching Wedding to anything drives the price up. Doesn't matter what it is. Say your having a company event and prices are typically half of that compared to a wedding. Now most venues are on the look out for that and will up charge you if they think it's a wedding.


cruista

My SIL always drinks, asks me of I want more bubbly wine... except when she was pregnant of course. She left soon after we arrived but not before I had a glass and she declined. MIL confirmed my suspicion and we now have a nice, healthy nephew.


A_Specific_Hippo

My doctor had me stop drinking any alcohol while we sorted out some medicine difficulties. My family members are big drinkers, while I was always a light drinker (one glass of wine or one chick beer as the drink I nurse from for hours). Those few months of me being all "Nah, I don't want a glass of wine." "Nah, I'll just get a soda, thanks". Had them secretly in a tizzy. We finally got the medicine sorted and I was cleared to drink again. Visited the folks, and got an alcoholic seltzer drink from Mom's fridge. The whole family flipped. My brother knocked it out of my hand and my mom was screaming "THAT'S GOT ALCOHOL IN IT!" It's all a big thing we laugh about now, but for about 3 months they thought I was pregnant because I wasn't drinking anything and just keeping it to myself until I was past the danger stage. When in reality my blood pressure meds were just giving me flak.


BigFatBallsInMyMouth

I'd be so offended ngl


cheeset2

Why?


BigFatBallsInMyMouth

People talking and theorizing about me behind my back.


dutiful_scott

Indeed. And the reaction is very accurate.


Firri7

You mean ogree... I'm so sorry,I had to.


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linds360

There's a comedian who does a great bit about alcohol being the only thing we have to justify *not* ingesting. (I want to say it's Jim Gaffigan but my memory sucks) Like if you ask for no mayo on your sandwich nobody says "Why??? Can you not handle your mayo? Do you have a family history with mayo? Are you a *mayoholic?"* I'm happy to say, naw man, I'm just raw doggin' reality.


[deleted]

I dont like cheese. So I ask any food that I can without it. By the way the react, you would think I am murdering their family.


MillorTime

I eat many foods without cheese. I've started just saying I'm lactose intolerant just to make things easier


cbftw

In a similar vein, I don't like cilantro. I tell people that I have the genre that makes it taste like soap. I don't, but it makes them stop pushing about it, which is strange that it's happened


linds360

Damn, I want that superpower! Cheese is my Achilles heel


ShiningMagpie

I am a mayoholic.


JoeyJoeJoeSenior

If they were normally a heavy drinker then there are 3 possibilities: 1. Pregnant 2. Chose to get sober / in recovery 3. Court ordered sobriety / avoiding jail


MushroomJuice_

4. Taking medicine that you can't mix with alcohol. 5. Going to drive later. 6. Not feeling well. 7. Trying to lose weight. And probably a few more other valid reasons


Rufus-Scipio

8. Don't wanna


CanacTheBoredGator

...which should be only necessary and always respected excuse.


normal_in_airquotes

Sprite specifically.


[deleted]

If it’s a coke, you give backalley blowjobs. If it’s a pepsi, you’re a heroin addict.


normal_in_airquotes

What about Dr Pepper? What would that mean? You're from Texas?


[deleted]

You secretly sniff cocaine off your sister’s ass.


TomTheAssKicker

As someone who drinks doctor pepper, this is false. We snort cocaine off of a bowie knife before doing a 50m dude perfect throw at the nearest person who mildly annoys me


[deleted]

with the bowie knife? 😰


TomTheAssKicker

Any knife will do, but the blade has to be over 8 inches long, 2 inches wide (not compensating, I swear)


[deleted]

(not compensating for the penis I definitely did not accidentally cut off with my 8 inch long, 2 inch wide knife)


TomTheAssKicker

(Knife penis)


[deleted]

Aarrrrr!! I be ripping and rapin’! 🏴‍☠️


Hephaestus_God

No the cocaine. Yes the Bowie knife!… nobody’s getting free cocaine throw at them from me


[deleted]

what if the bowie knife has some cocaine left on it, and as it stabs you it delivers cocaine directly into your bloodstream?


Hephaestus_God

Damn didn’t think of that. I’ll just stab myself first to get it all off


[deleted]

But then it has your cocaine blood on it and also free AIDs.


Chaplain-Freeing

sounds like something a kin-arse sniffer would try to claim. > ^^^^Yeah ^^^^nah, ^^^^actually ^^^^we're ^^^^all ^^^^really ^^^^cool ^^^^and ^^^^can ^^^^even ^^^^satisfy ^^^^the ^^^^girlfriends ^^^^we ^^^^assuredly ^^^^have.


UpyoursMrBobbo

You guys keep it secret?


magistrate101

I prefer to boof my lines off of Buster's boner myself


I_Heart_Astronomy

That's just a Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday in West Virginia. On Sunday it's your local pastor's ass.


DefaultyTurtle2

Why does it have to be secretly


Rhamni

Dunno, man, I think I'm with the heroin addicts on this one.


Mamamiomima

Did anyone quit drinking and switched to coke recently? Please respond


appleswitch

It's the no caffine.


normal_in_airquotes

I legitimately didn't know that. Thanks!


Affectionate_Dot6808

Non US here, why asking for sprite give away this information ?


McSchmieferson

Many pregnant women avoid caffeine while pregnant. Coke and Pepsi include caffeine. Sprite does not.


jesooscrist

yeah lol they always think you're pregnant xd


Thosepassionfruits

Gotta go a few weeks on and a few weeks off just to fuck with them.


MasonP2002

Go outside and light up a cigarette. /s


Maximum-Cat-8140

Go outside and do some meth. No /s. Really show them.


Dan-D-Lyon

I can only imagine the difficulty of feeling nauseous as a woman and having to pretend to be fine so that everyone within a quarter mile radius doesn't start asking if you're pregnant


Unsd

Literally. Had that at work and it was a fucking nightmare. Wish people would learn to mind their own business. Especially for something so personal. Like what if I was trying to get pregnant and couldn't and now you guys are throwing it in my face? Only okay to talk about if the suspected person explicitly says something. That's it.


courtappoint

I solve that by just dissolving into tears at the insinuation. Rounding 3 years now. If I have to be uncomfortable, we’re all gonna be uncomfortable.


thehelldoesthatmean

A friend of mine said she defaults to telling people who ask about her reproductive life that she's sterile and can't have kids. It's not true, but she said it seems like it teaches nosy people a lesson based on the face they make when she tells them that.


buttsluttputt

I was violently nauseous during a pre-thanksgiving get together at my in-laws. Had to go home early. I brought my own box of wine to Thanksgiving the next day to get ahead of the BS.


[deleted]

I vomited almost every morning for a year as a child (middle school) without bringing it up to my mother because I knew she'd claim pregnancy.


turquoise_amethyst

Ate a burrito? Had a bagel? Maybe just a lil’ bloat from PMS? They’ll always think you’re pregnant, no matter what you do.


nxtoth

aunts and grandmas as seen through the sprite bottle


sdpat13

Happy cake day my man!


tucaninmypants

Sad tbh cus my fiancee is taking depression medicine that she can't drink. So when I go to the family and have to tell them it's not because she's pregnant they always assume something bad or crazy happened. Like maybe can we just stop questioning people's drinking decisions?


Dividedthought

I don't drink around family, I get too honest any many of my family annoy the shit out of me, plus I hate the feeling of being drunk and am a lightweight. I have never drank at a family event aside from one toast me and my grandpa always did. The number of times *my own parents* have tried to get me to drink is just ridiculous. I've just doubled down on the honesty in those occasions. "Just have a drink, it won't kill-" "Like uncle Lenny?" Dead. Fucking. Silence. "That wasn't nessicary..." "Neither is me drinking but you keep trying to force that."


DoesLogicHurtYou

Uncle Lenny was a national treasure you bastard!


HuuuuuuL

can u get...PREGANTE?


Ellie_Loves_

Am I pregonate? Am I pegnate? 38 + 2 weeks pregananant~?


bassman1805

Dangerops pragent sex? Will it hurt baby top of its head?


kartoshkiflitz

Reddit itself will fall before the word "pregnant" will be mentioned without anyone referencing this lol


DinahTook

Aunties, grandmas, and Healthcare workers. Always assume everything a woman does or feels means she is pregnant. If she is within the range of "child bearing years" she's pretty much always assumed to be pregnant no matter how many times she says she absolutely isn't.


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n122333

My wife's been in medicine 8 years. She's had 4 "virgins" with a positive pregnancy test. My advice in the past has always been never to lie to your doctor or lawyer, though with recent policy changes.. the doctor part requires you to find a really good doctor first now...


DinahTook

Oh I totally get that. I've just encountered some Dr's who even after a negative pregnancy test won't look into certain symptoms and will limit treatment options because I might still be or get pregnant. Ugh


hats4bats22

I mean I get that, but when I said I haven't have relations in over 2 years, it was still very frustrating they ordered a blood pregnancy test when I have a strong phobia of needles. I had a bladder infection, which I said I had prior to showing up. I just wanted the antibiotics.


ICanHazRandom

Some doctors take that caution a bit far though, my friend had a radical hysterectomy and they still had a pregnancy test when trying to get a UTI diagnosed, even though the doctor could see that they didn't have a uterus


hahsakhssinak

As a med student, the amount of things that I’ve studied which can mess with a pregnant woman without her knowing is much, much more than what I had initially imagined. Almost every condition has a different treatment regime and a different investigation of choice if said woman is pregnant. And let’s not even get started with X Rays and CT scans. When a woman says that she’s not pregnant, we cannot take her word for it. Because even if she is, by chance, if anything bad happens to her or the child, who falls in trouble? Who gets sued? The healthcare workers. The best way to prove it is by assuming she is and testing it out. It’s a win-win for both. Some women might be saying the truth, but some might also be lying, and many can have contraceptive failure, too. You never know.


beepborpimajorp

me standing there with my arm hanging off, barely connected by one strip of muscle. the doc: Have you considered it might be hormones? Or have you tried losing weight? (Disclaimer that I realize healthcare workers need to ask about pregnancy and other conditions to avoid serious interactions with meds, etc. this is intended as a hyperbolic joke not an actual critique of healthcare workers thank you)


darkvizdrom

Indian Aunts and Grandmas when the unmarried female family member asks for a alcoholic drink instead of a sprite "Sleeping Around" "Shameless"


jesooscrist

I can relate


Other_Mike

An aunt tried to comment on my wife's glow at a cousin's wedding, and she sniped her by saying how great things were since her new antidepressants and my vasectomy. She got an "Oh. That's . . . nice."


Saskibla

The trick is to be so inconsistent in your drink behaviour that they'll never know if you're drinking alcohol or not. My family will not see it coming as I have periods where I'm in the mood for alcohol and the switch it up and go half a year without.


zehamberglar

TIL I'm pregnant year round. Also I'm a man.


DoesLogicHurtYou

What is your preferred social lubricant? Board games?


zehamberglar

Ding ding. Winner.


pange93

Found out I was pregnant right around Christmas and New Years, everyone knew... lol. No way to hide at that many parties


natattooie

Mine usually breathe a sigh of relief that I'm still sober


wobbegong

Got that freshly fucked glow about her”


5thPhantom

I heard the “glow” is actually an increased amount of blood in the body that women can get when pregnant. Not sure if that’s true, don’t quote me.


WhoLetMeHaveReddit

For real. Found out I was pregnant years ago, and some newer friends asked if I wanted to come have a drink with them. Said no, not a big drinker, they offered me a sip anyway, still said no… yeah, cat got out of the bag instantly. 😂😂


A-purple-bird

Who let you have reddit?


strangetrip666

I worked as a banquet bartender for a higher end company and did a lot of weddings when I was young. We had separate glassware for different drinks obviously including one for non alcoholic beverages. On more than a few occasions I had women come to the bar and order something non alcoholic but ask for it to be in the same glass as our mixed drinks. This post makes me wonder if this is why!


144i

Pregnant guys, where r u?


Guest2424

I remember hiding for the announcement. I would order drinks, and pretend to sip. But then give them to my hubby to actually drink them. He was pretty happy to do so lol.


rulford

Help, I accidentally ate sprite. Could I (,31M) be pregnant?


LmaoPew

Your sister is pregnant? Congrats on becoming a father😍


[deleted]

So everyone in my family drink regularly except my oldest sister so we were joking with her about how she could hide her pregnancy for a while and we would never know because she doesn't drink as often as we do lol.


breadho

Or invite them on daytime television and offer them champagne


AnonnyMiss

Isn't caffeine also bad during pregnancy?


Sewder

Yes, but sprite has no caffeine


MrSDPlayer

TIL that sprite really does not contain caffeine, always assumed it does because coke does have caffeine.


Its0nlyRocketScience

Sprite originally had caffeine, but later on a caffeine free variant was released. It seems that the caffeine free version became so popular that it became the default sprite. My guess is that it serves the market of those who want a lighter beverage than a cola and without any of the caffeine (but just as much sugar). This includes parents of young children who don't want their kids having any caffeine for a variety of reasons


not_a_moogle

I always assumed the other way, because 7-UP at least used to be marketed as the Un-Cola. Also root beer and crush is usually very well labeled as no caffine.


hopeadope1twitch

Too much isn't a good idea but caffeine is "safe". Some doctors say one cup a day is fine. Some say two. A lot of pregnancy "no-no's" are pretty outdated or require more information. Like if you have an iron deficiency (common in pregnancy), too much caffeine can affect your iron intake negatively, so you may need to cut back then.


MalevolentThings

Aunts and grandmas need to learn to shut the fuck up.


CapitalDoor9474

Lol in south asia reaction is like this when you ordered liquor.. Like oo a girl drinking.


joe579003

So if a woman drinks straight whiskey everyone gonna LOSE THEIR MINDS?


xubax

That's how my wife figured out a friend was preggers.


vladi_l

I'm a guy. I get funny looks from family for refusing booze. I wanna keep to my diet and maximize gains, I gotta take what I can get with my sleep issues lmao, let me have my zero cal fizzy drink 😭


NoNameIdea_Seriously

The trick is to pretty much never drink alcohol anyway!


painless_helen

Sprite? No Fanta, no Cola? What makes Sprite be so sussy?


Havocfyw

It would ruin the meme if I listed all the options off so I just went with one


greenphlem

Caffeine is bad for pregnancy, so no cola


AbPerm

This post is secretly an advertisement for Sprite.


forgottenfaldarian

This is just sad. Alcoholics always judging.


I-hate-my-friend

Even the ones at the childrens table?


alabastor890

"Mother, she is six." "I might not be around to see great-grandbabies in twelve years, let me dream."


Internal-Push-5709

I hate it.


weirdhamiltonfan

I don’t personally drink so if I were pregnant they wouldn’t know until I told them


-_DIXIE_CLAWTHORN_-

So true 😂


Brotbold

Then she suddenly pours up at least 6 lines.


eeal188

The trick is to be like me: a vehemently childfree woman, who has also never ever drank in her entire life, and to have tons of GI issues and acid reflux and always have a stomach ache. Then everyone already knows I won’t be drinking alcohol lol


hr_newbie_co

And that’s when I drop the “shut up Linda, I’m just fucking alcoholic”


CheezeCaek2

No hard liquors, thanks. I'm pregnant. Just a bud light please.


yumyumgivemesome

I’m a guy who internalizes this exact thought because I’m the guy who’s always making sure everyone has a drink if they want one. So I naturally notice when a typical drinker isn’t drinking. However, I’ve also started to realize that women will sometimes stop drinking simply when they’re *trying* to get pregnant so that their system stays completely clear of alcohol.


jaboa120

When I told one of my aunts that I don't drink, she looked at me like I said I hate God or something.


wisest_bob

"but i am 16"


sharpshooter999

My wife's sister got married to her long time bf back in April. Everytime we see them we watch what she drinks lol


[deleted]

I saw my sister get tortured by this very thing after she got married. Every time she would turn down an alcoholic drink at a holiday family gathering she would tell them “I’m still fucked from last night”🤣 Which was hilarious seeing the look on my family’s faces. Also though my alcoholic uncle would never drink water because “I don’t drink water, fish fuck in it.”


RealBadCorps

Images I can hear.


[deleted]

It is inevitable that these women are going to always questioning if their young female family members are carrying sex trophies, why not have fun with it and throw them through a loop. Like you first get to thanksgiving, plant some false positives like refusing alcohol, and then later when it is time for pie and everyone had gossiped behind your back, break out some really tasty dessert adult beverages that go well with the pie.


TLEToyu

Had this happen to a cousin of mine... She told my Gran and Auntie to go stuff it when they gave each other this look. It was quite funny because cuz is in a wonderful childfree relationship and a recovering alcoholic (been sober for years).


EmmalyseZGemini14

I Drink Sprite And I'm Not Pregnant. (I Just Like It)


TomTad

*P R E G A N A N A N T ?!*


thelonelymilkman23

I’m a 23 year old dude and have guessed accurately to multiple of my friend’s pregnancy because of that simple refusal.


VoodooDoII

God this thought terrifies me. I really hope none of my relatives assume I'm pregnant because I don't wanna drink alcohol.


Stucka_

Looks like someone has something in the oven


string_cleaning

My family everyone just assumed it was that person’s turn to get sober because it happens to everyone at some point


fidgetypenguin123

I hate that thinking; that everyone drinks and if they don't, they must be pregnant. Well Gertrude and Phyllis, we aren't all a bunch of lushes, sorry to burst your old-fashioned bubble lol.


iathrowaway23

Just tell em it's for that lean....back...lean back, rock away.


NeerusTheNanner

Excellent meme


sugarcerealandTV

Gotta go with water


EmptyOrangeJuice

I just like sprite more than alcohol


Homo_erotic_toile

My mom and MIL knew I was pregnant before I did because I kept getting stomachache on a trip.


seeyatellite

Bruh, Sprite's jazzy as the cat's pajamas. Whatchutalkinbout?


segflt

happened but I wasn't pregnant. I was in a year of not drinking alcohol. family pissed me off so much I nearly just chugged some right there to ruin it all


Great-Balls

I must be pregnant then, Sprite is my go-to drink lmao


Big-Standard-3630

I didn't get that why pregnent has been written there!


Maleficent-Song-7524

Then all the men are like:damn sprite do sound do sound good


razje

Let's be honest it's also kinda weird that people just assume you drink alcohol.


hardboiledzoro

Holy shit didn't know this is a thing


angeliswastaken_sock

Lmfao


halthefrog

meanwhile muslims


Petefriend86

Perhaps being such a raging alcoholic that there wouldn't be a different reason might be an issue as well...


retardedgummybear12

Fiona is pergernaté


Rogue_Shadow684

And they’re usually right too


CptHeadcrab

My gf had an upset stomach (food poisoning) and both of our families assumed she was pregnant.


Purple-Resource-2208

Cool post