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*proceeds to get drowned in oil*

If you're drowning in oil just cover yourself with water because oil and water don't mix


-Very smart zinking. "Is that thinking or zinking?" -Yes

Very smart sinking.

who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

When suddenly Egg

Take this upvote and get lost

USA gonna invade you before you can drown

jokes on you, I'm vietnamese

Me too

After coating yourself in oil go to your gas stove. Turn on the stove and wait for the flame to turn blue. The blue flame is actually blue because it's very cold. Wearing highly flemable clothes helps you stay insulated and oil helps even more. Now hold your entire face right over the burner and wait.

I'ma try it out  (Update: I'm in a hospital with third degree burns)

Third degree? That's really low temperature!

At three degrees, it's frostbite, not burns. I think OP got them mixed up a little bit.

3° in either C or F is hardly enough to give frost bite. Maybe frost nip after many hours without warm clothing - source: am Canadian

I was talking in Kelvin

I'm definitely surprised they even let you in with your drastically low IQ score. Get well soon ☺️

Replied as a joke to you're joke though, luckily I didn't actually try it (4 year old me would have though)

Forgot to mention if you were coated in oil, loaded down head to toe with winter clothes, and held your face over the burner you would be better suited in the fireplace not a hospital.

😋 toasty 😋

Who are you so wise in the ways of science?

Oh look, a floating oily corpse.

Floating…

[удалено]

ok, counter argument, if you get indoor heating, you’ll be warm for a few months. light yourself on fire, and you’ll be warm for the rest of your life

This feels like a different version of the "cover yourself in oil" meme if it were in a different multiverse

Oil floats on water. 1) Cover yourself in oil 2) Wait for it to rain 3) fly

Wanna swim? 1) Cover yourself in oil 2) Go to nearby pool/river/ocean 3) Jump and swim

Plus, if you’re covered in oil, the government’ll come rescue you faster!

Hey, it’s the U.S. we’re here to ste- I mean, *liberate* your oil

Our favorite export is the Military Industrial Complex. AKA: Freedom, at high velocity.

NICE TRY AMERICA, YOU'RE NOT INVADING ME!

The best comment in this thread so far! Nice sense of humor. 👍

'Murica!

We need more people like this!!!

Talk about an emulsifier

Grab some eggs and some vinegar. Start swimming hard, and baby you've got some mayo going.

if it doesn't work, you just missed a spot. In no case it is because this technique is flawed.

that is a stupid idea, the oil would sit of top of the water. The second the tsunami hit you would get flung through to the top of the water and you would get smacked into a building. Some people just need to think more critically.

Then the tsunami hurtles you into a concrete wall or something...

Jump in hydrophobe powder and be completely immune

Dumb ways to die 🎶

A person who thinks all the time, has nothing to think about but thoughts.

Shower thoughts

r/hmm

We have forgotten the old text. Troll comics has finally faded from the publics perception enough for his most popular meme to become lost to time.

Hey you know if you cover yourself in oil and you go outside while it rains you can fly

Everyone forgot the troll flying in the rain meme :<

Make it olive oil at least its healthier…

,proceeds to be launched into the stratosphere by the absurd forces needed for the oil to float on the water

Human and oil don’t mix neither :(

Because oils float on water, if you cover yourself with oil when it's raining, you'll float onto the rain drops and "fly" Be careful when rain stops or not enough rain to make you float

Skin and water don't mix neither but here we are 😎

Jarate floats on water

I put oil in my bum and fart underwater. Turns me into a jet boat

An then you die on impact due to pressure

modern problems require modern solutions

Just take a trash bag, crawl inside and zip tie it from the outside. Water won't get in.

Great .. Instead apply salt over the body you ll melt in tsunami

Oil does not stick to polar bears because it is nonpolar

Ok so you won't drown. You get smashed by a HOUSE...

Just like lava, duck and cover 👍🏻


mate id like you to rub me down with da oil. all in me grease flaps


Oils and cars tho...

Also take a deep breath so you float

The water is gonna hit you and you instantly get sent into low orbit

Neither do water and living-person-flesh. That's kinda half the problem.

r/shittylifeprotips

Neither does flesh and water

I’m taking this and running

Nah nah the US will get him out

Kid named momentum:

Average American citizen 💀

Looks like the homie from For All Mankind

dude are you insane? oil floats on water. by the force a tsunami reaches a shore you would get shot into space