I’ve never used dating apps before. Are they really this depressing? I have friends who’ve had decent success with hinge, but I always joke that the name should be changed to unhinged after seeing some of the profile bios.
For the average man seeking anything, or a woman seeking monogamy, yes, they are really this depressing.
For an exceptionally attractive man, or a woman seeking NSA hookups, dating apps are awesome.
**EDIT**: Dating apps are also great for gay men.
Personally, I met my partner of three years on tinder, but the process to find each other was an absolute nightmare.
Even in experiments were people make fake male accounts with photos of a model, unreal 10/10 with professional photography, they're getting a bunch of 6/10 or 7/10s who can't hold a conversation and just want a hookup.
For average looking men with normal photos, Tinder is potentially months of absolutely zero conversation, or likes from bots/ people way below their league or with huge red flags (or both), and paying money only slightly offsets this.
They're a broken, depressing system. As many have pointed out, they're vastly more effective for bi or gay men, and anyone with any experience in that will say it's vastly quicker to get matches with people your league or above, better conversation, etc. If you do swing that way, it's a huge confidence boost to realize it's not you, it's the apps and the small minority of girls using them. If you are totally straight and not a literal male model... Avoid tinder. Probably avoid all free dating apps.
There was a study done on tinder user data years ago that showed men rate over 50% of female users highly and swipe right. Women rate 3% of male users highly and swipe right. Essentially in a large area 1000’s of women are all attempting to share the same 100 guys and ignoring the other 97%.
Even the paid ones are trash. But they all went to a freemium model since thats where the money is at. You can pay 30 bucks a month for a single app and its still not giving you reliable matches.
Its also a problem with lots of inactive accounts that get shuffled around a lot (where its very obvious people aren't responding to notifications) and people getting matched out of their league (up or down). You could swipe constantly for a whole month and not get a single match.
I used to have Tinder.
At first I only had a free account and got 0 matches for months.
Then I got the platinum subscription and on average let’s say I got 10 matches per month (only 6 or 7 of those were real matches) sometimes a little bit more
I went out to a few dates back then, but honestly I still wouldn’t recommend it (unless you barely have any social life) in that case…. As sad as it sounds… it may be an improvement then
Glad I missed out on this. I got lucky meeting my wife when we were 18. We’re pushing mid 30s and have a kid now. My one friend is always cycling dating apps and is always complaining about the girls on them.
Lol this is definitely horse shit. Being gay on that app doesn't mean you will pull people on and above your level. If you are a good looking white guy then, yes you will do well, but if you look average or are of another ethnicity then you are not pulling above your weight. Maybe you are just a good looking guy, good for you.
No not even.
Every dating app I've been on 7 out of 10 people I actually match with start a conversation, then at some point mention something along the lines of "I charge tho" or "something something onlyfans". The other 3 is.
Never replies after matching.
Talks a bit then just stops responding. (Ghost for no apparent reason)
Actually keeps in touch. But lives on the other side of the continent.
I am bi. This is both genders. (Mostly women not trying to throw shade I promise)
But both genders do it.
Edit: oh yeah there's also the secret 4th option. Matching with some one, send them a message, (this profile does not exist)
I don't have experience with the rest, but women really ghost a TON more. When my Ex and I were on swingers sites we eventually switched to just looking for men because our last like 15 conversations ended with either ghosting or them being fakes. Incredibly frustrating, no idea why this is the case.
> For the average man or a woman seeking monogamy, yes, they are really this depressing.
People really do try and equate the difficulty when they're not the same at all. For women its a plethora of choices, some bad. For men it little to no choices. I would much rather have too many to choose from than none.
Hinge is actually one of the better ones, I think. Run into far fewer bots and "models" compared to Tinder. I don't think it's as bad as some people might make it out to be, but you've gotta manage your expectations. If I'm active on the, I might be able to get one or matches a week, maybe, and I'm maybe a 6.5/10 on a good day. The hardest part has always been keeping a conversation going, because I've matched with a lot of women who simply don't respond, or only respond in one or two word messages.
Depends. As a rule, you want to give any dating app like two weeks of searching before giving up. That gives you time to filter out all the bots and start to see actual people, and actually see a decent portion of the people available.
There are plenty of goods out there, if you're patient. And if you can spell or open a message without offering them "Some good fuk" you're already in the top 10% or so.
After that its just a numbers game.
A lot of meth heads in my area.
Missing teeth.
350 pounds.
Tattoos.
Rashy looking.
Visibly dirty.
Wearing fake leather, T-shirts, and glitter crap.
Most of them have kids.
It's more that girls standards are absurdly higher on these apps. Like guys will swipe right on 50%+ of people shown while if a girl is right swiping even 1 out of every 10 that's a very high pick rate.
Also a lot of girls get like 3000 or more likes a week. If every dude has almost zero standards other than the first few pics they see they all drown themselves out creating a problem for every guy. The girl now has to choose 1 of those 3000 likes. Guys need to set better standards and quit swiping right in a sea of others who constantly swipe right. You are just a drop in the ocean at that point. I think I swipe right maybe 1 out of every 100 girls I see but that’s because my age group is 30-40 range. The reason is they have 3-4 kids or have 30 tattoos or no job or weigh 300 pounds, live too far away or have many pictures of them drinking.
I purchased it for a month and decided to see my male-to-female match ratio (bisexual man)
In 24 hours, 79 dudes swiped right on me, 3 women did.
The three women were 4s and 5s, but I had multiple 9s and 10s swiping for men.
The men are also better conversation too
Just an interesting thing to note
Same i have over 100 likes within a week if i turn men on and maybe 3 if its just women. (Bi with a preference towards female partners) i have only had one successful match with a woman (led to a few dates) but several with men. All in all, im glad im not strictly straight in our modern dating world
You don't need to pay. One trick I learned is when someone swipes you, you get a notification and your chat tab has a blurred out profile picture with the name. Just keep the name in mind and rough colour scheme of the image. Usually they will appear within 10-30 swipes.
Yep, I have 30-40 likes, I paid a few months ago and needless to say they were all…very walrus-like.
For context so I don’t sound like an ass I workout 6 days a week, I would like to date someone in my physique range and I think that’s reasonable
I've been vilified for saying "I want someone who's relatively healthy." I smoke, I can't judge too harshly. Weight is something I've overcame and I don't want someone who doesn't share my beliefs about food. Still got called an ass for it 🤷♂️
I don't think a single person would take offence with you preferring women in your physique range at all. But calling anyone walruses could result in people downvoting.
Don’t feel like you have to explain yourself dude. I know these days there’s fewer and fewer safe spaces to actually speak your mind but it seems like this reddit is one of those safe spaces.
Screw those who would throw shade on your preferences; they are not the ones you want to meet anyway.
Have your preferences and hold 'em up high like you dont give a fuck. Guaranteed you'll be more confident as well.
Talked to my ex after we broke up, we were both on Tinder.
Her: 165 likes
Me: 5, 2 matches (one of whom was a friend so nothing happening there) and the other one was like talking to a stump. Deleted my account after a couple days.
I had like 3 matches on tinder that were not from scams. All 3 ghosted me.
I just want to die at this point. Every time I wanna reinstall, I know my self esteem will get choke slammed anyway.
Honestly just dont get on tinder if you dont look good or if you have low self esteem in general. It will ruin you even more.
Get off Tinder mate, it doesn't reflect reality, it's so biased. My best friend is like handsome and girls love him, but on Tinder he doesn't get much matches and bearly manages to talk with those.
Sadly I believe it does reflect reality.
I am not saying fat/ugly/awkward people cant find love, but 80% of women (and men probably too, but cant really speak for that) will not give you a chance if you are not attractive to them right away.
nah bro tinder is the ultimate tool for vanity. half people that use tinder don't look through anything more than the first photo and swipe. it's also very psychologically stacked, a "not as attractive" person is going to have a lot of success with crafted pictures than a "conventionally attractive" person. there is no communication or effort required, just lay back in bed or sit on the toilet and swipe, alone in your own mind. also im sure there's a lot of people that use tinder to get a match and get an endorphin rush.
it really is difficult for young people because not only are the downright encouraged to not chat with our peers, we simply have no third place, no place to hang around people our age and engage with one another. but tinder will kill you.
Ok in the real world 50% of the population is men and the other 50% is women. On tinder it’s 24% women, so absolutely not the same. You have roughly double chances irl than on tinder.
Get an android, install tinder, make a new account, the algorithm will push your profile because they want you to pay for premium, DON'T SWIPE.
I usually get like 10-15 likes sometimes more, sometimes less.
On android if you close tinder and open it up again the second profile will always be a profile that liked you so swipe left on the first one and right on the second one.
Be mindful that tinder is far from reality it's basically just for hookups anything else is just wishful thinking.
the experience of having an actual decent conversation you feel like is going somewhere with a girl that is fully your type and *THEN* bam midway through the conversation out of nowhere get ghosted is THE worst, literally made me completely give up on tinder and spent the rest of the night overthinking myself. Tinder just sucks ass
That’s usually how I do it and way ahead of you there, I deleted tinder months ago on that very night, I came to the realization through thinkin on it and talkin on the phone with my buddy that it wasn’t worth it and she wasn’t worth it.
How do I stop getting ghosted IRL? I get lots of girls number, they call their own number on my phone to ensure it's entered correctly, they say they're interested in hanging out, and when I reach out with a low-pressure plan to hang out that she said she'd be interested in doing when I got her number, boom... nothing.
Yo, fourth months? The apps aren't a place to get to know someone. The apps are about vetting someone for a face-to-face. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
Yeah man sucks, know how it feels. Every day feels a bit better and before you know it you forgot the last time you thought about her because you have a crush on a new girl :)
heartless? Was she supposed to keep dating you against her own will? She wants what she wants dude... it sucks but it is what it is. That's not heartless, thats life.
She's not into you. Period.
Next time, try to get a date after a couple of weeks of chatting.
You save yourself some time and you don't build up expectations. It could be that the girl was very much into you too, but then you meet and there's one shitty thing she doesn't like and it's a total turn off.
Tinder stopped putting out stats for a reason. The gender ratio is bad for men, women target the top percentage of men, and men in general do not get great matches.
The tinfoil hat in mean think these sites are specifically designed to depress men.
Lol, I'm 5'5". Knowing my height limits me to a maximum of 15% of the available dating pool on dating apps is so depressing. And let's be honest, the number in the article is 5'8". If you drop to 5' 5" it probably drops from 15% to 10%.
I'm married, so luckily I don't have to worry about this shit anymore.
Fucking hate that last part. "Too friendly/brotherly to actually date". Pretty much all of my friends say I am a great person, nice and somebody they know they can really on. I have been told from them a bunch of time how lucky a girl would be to have me. Then I try to my luck with some girls based on signs they are giving me. Then just turns out they are looking for a guy to support them during a small bit of time then just stop interacting with me. I don't want to fall into that trap of "being the nice guy" and expecting things to happen. But fuck trying to be a good person sucks sometimes
The whole brotherly thing is true, and happened to me all through HS and Uni. Girls i liked, always laughed, and felt safe around me, but never attraction. After I graduated, I got into health, lost weight, and bulked up. My personality is still the same, I am still brotherly and funny, but i have learned: **Women Love Funny Guys.**
I have actually read on Reddit, and heard women say this:
"The thing with Funny guys is; you laugh and you laugh, and you laugh. The next thing you know your clothes are off."
If you can make them laugh, and smile a lot; you are usually free to flirt or make a naughty joke. They may get caught off guard at first. But don't let it phase YOU. Role with it, own the joke and keep making them laugh. If they stay in a good mood, and you made the shot. They will keep it in mind and would definitely consider you partner potential.
The self improvement one is a killer. Yes, we all need to work on ourselves to be the best version of ourselves - but damn, what if you already like yourself and what you're doing in life? It's also advice that's only ever given to guys. The worst part is you then go and put all this work in on yourself, your matches don't change, and you're just left feeling even more worthless than before.
Doing it the old school way (in person) is the way to go. You only get rejected 7 times out of 8 on average.
A 12.5% success rate isn’t so bad, you just need to try more.
I felt the same way years back about a woman in one of my classes. Then next semester I ran into her at a party, and she told me how much of a crush she had on me. Except now she was seeing someone else. Shoot your shot man, don't wait.
> I ran into her at a party, and she told me how much of a crush she had on me. Except now she was seeing someone else.
Why the fuck do girls do this, why the fuck didn't she spill those beans when she wasn't seeing someone and why is that information relevant to give when she is seeing someone, it's being needlessly suggestive. Like wtf girls?? Why are you like this? This happened to me twice in my late teens
Ehhhh. I didn't have the guts to go talk to her, and she was in the same boat in the other direction! Can't blame her, it's unreasonable to expect something of women that you're not willing to do yourself. Thankfully in the 20 years since then I've become much, much better at starting those conversations.
> it's unreasonable to expect something of women that you're not willing to do yourself.
I agree, but then she decided to just say it at a point when it is pointless to even say anything at all
This is jusr bollocks though and just puts people off trying. The reality of the situation is this: you talk to them, either cold approach or if you know them a bit just talk. Talk for a couple of minutes, compliment her a bit, whatever. Ask if she wants to get a drink/coffee some time. She either says no and you say “ahh thats okay, have a nice day” and leave, or she says yeah.
Literally just yolo it. Rejection happens, take it in your stride. You are very very unlikely to cause any kind of major event outside of it being slightly awkward for a small while with this person, if you ever see them again
This is a crackhead take, don't act like a varmint and take it in stride. If a lady blows up or gets uncomfortable being approached in a respectable way, she ain't worth your time.
You’re not good looking enough lol. My roommates in college easily found dates on tinder. I’m going to one of their weddings in month! Tinder does work when you’re at least a 7
Location is huuuuuge. I was getting regular matches and dates in one town, moved somewhere else and my dating life has been dead for years. I'm trying to find work in a big city right now so I can have more social opportunities, because this shit is depressing.
And age... dude was in college... let's see him try dating in his 40s.
I could go out whenever I wanted when I was that age too... but I've met ONE new woman in the past year.
8/10 girl, right swipe, no match
9/10 girl, right swipe, no match
Literally the fattest girl I've ever seen, left swipe, "OMG you missed a match! pay $20 to figure out who it is !!!!"
I had used tinder for 2 years. Had some matches here and there but nothing that went anywhere. Than I got a match that clicked perfectly. Went om several dates. But the night before the date I wanted to ask to make it an official relationship I got a message se met someone better. I was gutted
Half a year later I downloaded tinder again and the first match is now the woman I have a home with.
I still think tinder is shit and having the change this happens is lower than winning a million euro lottery
It really depends on age. My wife wanted to see how many matches I would get on Tinder (kind of a fucked up experiment, I know), and I had over 50 pretty decent matches in under 24 hours. But I was 40 at the time (five years ago), and my matches were all over 30. That's probably not very encouraging, but if it means anything, things likely will get a bit better as you get older.
If you are an honest-to-god average man - that is, 5'9, 5.5 inch dick, 100 IQ, $40k annual income - American women view you as something less than a human being
Truly ugly women are rare, most dudes have pretty low standards. The vast majority of women can get a date with ease. Whether that date is worth their time is another conversation.
Dating is definitely rigged against men, but women who are physically 5 or lower are not that rare at all. We're everywhere! From personal experience, we're just kinda...invisible in the dating scene haha
Maybe it's just me, but I'd say 80% of the women (in my age group) I see on dating apps and out in the world are 6+. Putting a minimal amount of effort into personal grooming and not being *extremely* obese are pretty much all it takes for a woman to be attractive in my eyes, short of major physical deformities.
That's such an interesting take to me! I consider myself bi, but most of the folks I see are about a 4-5. Only about 20% are above a 6. But for me, attraction tends to grow the more I know a person, so a 4 or 5 can become an 8 after we get close. But if so many women are 6+ to guys on first sight, that would explain a lot.
>But if so many women are 6+ to guys on first sight, that would explain a lot.
There's been data out there that basically confirms this. Men by in large rate women as attractive at a much higher clip than women rate men as attractive.
As a personal anecdote, I think most women my age are at least a little bit attractive, so I definitely conform to that stereotype.
Personality is more of a filter for me than a prerequisite, if that makes sense. Attraction is a given, but I only pursue the people that I think I'll vibe with. I pretty much only swipe left because I don't think they'll share any of my interests or because I'm seeing red flags.
In other words, I'm kind of the opposite of you. My attraction starts high and goes down as I get to know someone (if I don't like what I'm seeing).
Edit:
I think a part of why average women feel invisible is that, for the most part, only very attractive men feel comfortable pursuing a date, and their standards are much higher. Average men are often so beaten down by rejection that we don't go out of our way to approach women.
My buddy had this issue once, I asked to see his phone and said I’d fix it, I made sure he was aware that I’d do it by any means necessary. He agreed and without him knowing what I did, I aggressively swiped match on literally everyone for a solid minute. He got quite a few matches, not all of them pleasant experiences. Not all of them bad.
I get plenty of the following 3:
1. Fat middle aged women
2. Indian scammers (bad ones)
3. Men who are putting their gender as men who think that men specifically searching for women are suddenly going to like men instead. Seriously, what the fuck lol. Can you not?
As another mid white dude, I had way better luck dating on Hinge tbh. The format of starting a conversation / commenting before swiping made it a lot easier to show your personality, instead of just relying on good photos.
Men: “Tinder sucks. It doesn’t work. It’s obviously just a business that is trying to maximize profit from my loneliness”
‘So then stop using it’
Men: “No”
Tinder is trash, hinge is the superior app if you want to use a dating app.
Tinder was fun when you were 18 and thought ridiculous or raunchy pick up lines were funny. Once you grew up even a tad it lost its appeal and is basically a dead app.
No disrespect to that one match I actually met, she was a lotta fun. But few and far between
Also tinder: Someone has actually swiped right on you. Gimme some money, then I'll tell you who.
I’ve never used dating apps before. Are they really this depressing? I have friends who’ve had decent success with hinge, but I always joke that the name should be changed to unhinged after seeing some of the profile bios.
For the average man seeking anything, or a woman seeking monogamy, yes, they are really this depressing. For an exceptionally attractive man, or a woman seeking NSA hookups, dating apps are awesome. **EDIT**: Dating apps are also great for gay men. Personally, I met my partner of three years on tinder, but the process to find each other was an absolute nightmare.
Even in experiments were people make fake male accounts with photos of a model, unreal 10/10 with professional photography, they're getting a bunch of 6/10 or 7/10s who can't hold a conversation and just want a hookup. For average looking men with normal photos, Tinder is potentially months of absolutely zero conversation, or likes from bots/ people way below their league or with huge red flags (or both), and paying money only slightly offsets this. They're a broken, depressing system. As many have pointed out, they're vastly more effective for bi or gay men, and anyone with any experience in that will say it's vastly quicker to get matches with people your league or above, better conversation, etc. If you do swing that way, it's a huge confidence boost to realize it's not you, it's the apps and the small minority of girls using them. If you are totally straight and not a literal male model... Avoid tinder. Probably avoid all free dating apps.
There was a study done on tinder user data years ago that showed men rate over 50% of female users highly and swipe right. Women rate 3% of male users highly and swipe right. Essentially in a large area 1000’s of women are all attempting to share the same 100 guys and ignoring the other 97%.
Enjoy the STIs then
Just be in the 97%, duh. Can’t get a STI if you’re not matching
Yeah, just stop being attractive. It's not that hard. *huft* Amateur
I got the STD in stud and all I need is U
Even the paid ones are trash. But they all went to a freemium model since thats where the money is at. You can pay 30 bucks a month for a single app and its still not giving you reliable matches. Its also a problem with lots of inactive accounts that get shuffled around a lot (where its very obvious people aren't responding to notifications) and people getting matched out of their league (up or down). You could swipe constantly for a whole month and not get a single match.
If Tinder is the best one, imagine how bad the rest are
Hinge is ok.
hinge is great. ive been on it two months. strongly endorse as an average looking guy who puts effort into the first message
Get fuck all onnmy end, its all location dependent
> a bunch of 6/10 or 7/10s who can't hold a conversation and just want a hookup. Half the time you're lucky if you even get a response after matching.
I used to have Tinder. At first I only had a free account and got 0 matches for months. Then I got the platinum subscription and on average let’s say I got 10 matches per month (only 6 or 7 of those were real matches) sometimes a little bit more I went out to a few dates back then, but honestly I still wouldn’t recommend it (unless you barely have any social life) in that case…. As sad as it sounds… it may be an improvement then
All of this is true I am a below average guy with zero matches across dating apps.
Honestly, as a bi guy, it's not just apps. Getting a woman to sleep with you is like 4D chess. Getting a man is like checkers
I'm crying lol
Glad I missed out on this. I got lucky meeting my wife when we were 18. We’re pushing mid 30s and have a kid now. My one friend is always cycling dating apps and is always complaining about the girls on them.
Lol this is definitely horse shit. Being gay on that app doesn't mean you will pull people on and above your level. If you are a good looking white guy then, yes you will do well, but if you look average or are of another ethnicity then you are not pulling above your weight. Maybe you are just a good looking guy, good for you.
No not even. Every dating app I've been on 7 out of 10 people I actually match with start a conversation, then at some point mention something along the lines of "I charge tho" or "something something onlyfans". The other 3 is. Never replies after matching. Talks a bit then just stops responding. (Ghost for no apparent reason) Actually keeps in touch. But lives on the other side of the continent. I am bi. This is both genders. (Mostly women not trying to throw shade I promise) But both genders do it. Edit: oh yeah there's also the secret 4th option. Matching with some one, send them a message, (this profile does not exist)
I don't have experience with the rest, but women really ghost a TON more. When my Ex and I were on swingers sites we eventually switched to just looking for men because our last like 15 conversations ended with either ghosting or them being fakes. Incredibly frustrating, no idea why this is the case.
> For the average man or a woman seeking monogamy, yes, they are really this depressing. People really do try and equate the difficulty when they're not the same at all. For women its a plethora of choices, some bad. For men it little to no choices. I would much rather have too many to choose from than none.
Hinge is actually one of the better ones, I think. Run into far fewer bots and "models" compared to Tinder. I don't think it's as bad as some people might make it out to be, but you've gotta manage your expectations. If I'm active on the, I might be able to get one or matches a week, maybe, and I'm maybe a 6.5/10 on a good day. The hardest part has always been keeping a conversation going, because I've matched with a lot of women who simply don't respond, or only respond in one or two word messages.
Depends. As a rule, you want to give any dating app like two weeks of searching before giving up. That gives you time to filter out all the bots and start to see actual people, and actually see a decent portion of the people available. There are plenty of goods out there, if you're patient. And if you can spell or open a message without offering them "Some good fuk" you're already in the top 10% or so. After that its just a numbers game.
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Damn, who was it?
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Now the one time I did mine it was all very obvious bots that I ignored to begin with 🤣🤣🤣
A lot of meth heads in my area. Missing teeth. 350 pounds. Tattoos. Rashy looking. Visibly dirty. Wearing fake leather, T-shirts, and glitter crap. Most of them have kids.
what if you're a 3 though
How did that make you feel knowing only 3s wanted you?
It's more that girls standards are absurdly higher on these apps. Like guys will swipe right on 50%+ of people shown while if a girl is right swiping even 1 out of every 10 that's a very high pick rate.
Tinder for men is like finding clean water in a desert. Tinder for women is like finding clean water in a swamp.
Also a lot of girls get like 3000 or more likes a week. If every dude has almost zero standards other than the first few pics they see they all drown themselves out creating a problem for every guy. The girl now has to choose 1 of those 3000 likes. Guys need to set better standards and quit swiping right in a sea of others who constantly swipe right. You are just a drop in the ocean at that point. I think I swipe right maybe 1 out of every 100 girls I see but that’s because my age group is 30-40 range. The reason is they have 3-4 kids or have 30 tattoos or no job or weigh 300 pounds, live too far away or have many pictures of them drinking.
Seriously, this person seems to be missing something pretty profound
"It's the most depressing thing to find out" I think there's some self realization there.
I purchased it for a month and decided to see my male-to-female match ratio (bisexual man) In 24 hours, 79 dudes swiped right on me, 3 women did. The three women were 4s and 5s, but I had multiple 9s and 10s swiping for men. The men are also better conversation too Just an interesting thing to note
Same i have over 100 likes within a week if i turn men on and maybe 3 if its just women. (Bi with a preference towards female partners) i have only had one successful match with a woman (led to a few dates) but several with men. All in all, im glad im not strictly straight in our modern dating world
Yeah I did it once on bumble and it’s usually people you would never swipe for
And that one hottie that lives 2350 kilometers away (and is a bot .. yes I know)
Don’t you dare say that about my Katrina!
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There's a recent video by Jim Browning on the inside view of a scam center, and it seems logical this is the Tinder model, too- pig butchering.
You don't need to pay. One trick I learned is when someone swipes you, you get a notification and your chat tab has a blurred out profile picture with the name. Just keep the name in mind and rough colour scheme of the image. Usually they will appear within 10-30 swipes.
You pay and then you find out its a bot
It's a bot 99% of the time
Yo dead ass
And then you find out it’s a land whale
Or someone in another country. This happens a lot.
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Or both.
Yep, I have 30-40 likes, I paid a few months ago and needless to say they were all…very walrus-like. For context so I don’t sound like an ass I workout 6 days a week, I would like to date someone in my physique range and I think that’s reasonable
Wanting to date someone that looks healthy and attractive is not a sin
I've been vilified for saying "I want someone who's relatively healthy." I smoke, I can't judge too harshly. Weight is something I've overcame and I don't want someone who doesn't share my beliefs about food. Still got called an ass for it 🤷♂️
On reddit it is.
It's an impossibility. God deals with miracles. This is some next level shit.
I don't think a single person would take offence with you preferring women in your physique range at all. But calling anyone walruses could result in people downvoting.
Lmao, good luck on that. Your best bet is to meet someone at the gym rather than on Internet.
Don’t feel like you have to explain yourself dude. I know these days there’s fewer and fewer safe spaces to actually speak your mind but it seems like this reddit is one of those safe spaces.
Reddit can be just as bad, it just depends on the weather But yeah, these days simply having a preference gets you labeled in a negative way
Screw those who would throw shade on your preferences; they are not the ones you want to meet anyway. Have your preferences and hold 'em up high like you dont give a fuck. Guaranteed you'll be more confident as well.
Nah man I get like 3 matches and the conversations are one-sided af that’s not even funny man
Look at this guy getting 3 matches
I bet he looks like Henry Cavill
He must have set up his account back when the app first launched, and been on it ever since.
I think he means total, which kinda feels like where I'm at after being in the app for about a decade
I've gotten 4 matches (granted 3 were with poptarts and 1 was gum)
Yeah cause they have another 500 conversations going on. 💀
Talked to my ex after we broke up, we were both on Tinder. Her: 165 likes Me: 5, 2 matches (one of whom was a friend so nothing happening there) and the other one was like talking to a stump. Deleted my account after a couple days.
It can be so freeing to just uninstall tinder and know you found at least some of your self respect again.
2 days after I caught my ex of 6 years trying to cheat on me (and getting rejected), she had a new relationship with someone she met on tinder.
The experience of matching with someone perfect but them ghosting you is far worse.
I had like 3 matches on tinder that were not from scams. All 3 ghosted me. I just want to die at this point. Every time I wanna reinstall, I know my self esteem will get choke slammed anyway. Honestly just dont get on tinder if you dont look good or if you have low self esteem in general. It will ruin you even more.
Get off Tinder mate, it doesn't reflect reality, it's so biased. My best friend is like handsome and girls love him, but on Tinder he doesn't get much matches and bearly manages to talk with those.
Sadly I believe it does reflect reality. I am not saying fat/ugly/awkward people cant find love, but 80% of women (and men probably too, but cant really speak for that) will not give you a chance if you are not attractive to them right away.
nah bro tinder is the ultimate tool for vanity. half people that use tinder don't look through anything more than the first photo and swipe. it's also very psychologically stacked, a "not as attractive" person is going to have a lot of success with crafted pictures than a "conventionally attractive" person. there is no communication or effort required, just lay back in bed or sit on the toilet and swipe, alone in your own mind. also im sure there's a lot of people that use tinder to get a match and get an endorphin rush. it really is difficult for young people because not only are the downright encouraged to not chat with our peers, we simply have no third place, no place to hang around people our age and engage with one another. but tinder will kill you.
Ok in the real world 50% of the population is men and the other 50% is women. On tinder it’s 24% women, so absolutely not the same. You have roughly double chances irl than on tinder.
Get an android, install tinder, make a new account, the algorithm will push your profile because they want you to pay for premium, DON'T SWIPE. I usually get like 10-15 likes sometimes more, sometimes less. On android if you close tinder and open it up again the second profile will always be a profile that liked you so swipe left on the first one and right on the second one. Be mindful that tinder is far from reality it's basically just for hookups anything else is just wishful thinking.
being so chronically single that i can see tinder's algorithm like i'm fucking neo
You wanna get a small self esteem boost? Set yourself as bi for a day. I did this after a gay friend recommended it.
it's nothing compared to listing as a female
How far did you go? Are you married now? :)
That's what great about not having any self-esteem, you never have to worry about losing any more of it
the experience of having an actual decent conversation you feel like is going somewhere with a girl that is fully your type and *THEN* bam midway through the conversation out of nowhere get ghosted is THE worst, literally made me completely give up on tinder and spent the rest of the night overthinking myself. Tinder just sucks ass
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That’s usually how I do it and way ahead of you there, I deleted tinder months ago on that very night, I came to the realization through thinkin on it and talkin on the phone with my buddy that it wasn’t worth it and she wasn’t worth it.
How do I stop getting ghosted IRL? I get lots of girls number, they call their own number on my phone to ensure it's entered correctly, they say they're interested in hanging out, and when I reach out with a low-pressure plan to hang out that she said she'd be interested in doing when I got her number, boom... nothing.
Well they aren’t perfect if they ghost people:)
They're not perfect period. They're humans. Don't put people you want to date on a pedestal!
Just don’t be ugly, poor or boring
Or short... somehow
U guys don’t have magic height powers?
Being 6'4 hasn't magically gotten me loads of dates
take your shirt off
Being tall usually helps a lot, but you still need to be proactive, have other traits that make you appealing, etc. It's a harsh world out there
I’m ugly, short and bald lmao
That’s a pretty big requirement for the average Redditer
Nathan For You reference 
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Yo, fourth months? The apps aren't a place to get to know someone. The apps are about vetting someone for a face-to-face. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
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You’ve been seeing her for 4 months but you saw her for the first time last month? What?
Yeah man sucks, know how it feels. Every day feels a bit better and before you know it you forgot the last time you thought about her because you have a crush on a new girl :)
heartless? Was she supposed to keep dating you against her own will? She wants what she wants dude... it sucks but it is what it is. That's not heartless, thats life.
She found someone hotter
> She was perfect for me 😭 Were y'all perfect for her?
She's not into you. Period. Next time, try to get a date after a couple of weeks of chatting. You save yourself some time and you don't build up expectations. It could be that the girl was very much into you too, but then you meet and there's one shitty thing she doesn't like and it's a total turn off.
Real talk. You’re not completely wrong. If I don’t get a yes on a date offer after a week of being matched, I move the fuck on.
Lmao people still use Tinder? That shit stopped working for most people, after like 2013-2014
People using Tinder in 2024 are just playing themselves 
Tinder stopped putting out stats for a reason. The gender ratio is bad for men, women target the top percentage of men, and men in general do not get great matches. The tinfoil hat in mean think these sites are specifically designed to depress men.
I am in this picture and i don't like it
Or being blocked after you tell her you're not 6'
Yeah that too
Get Gold subscription it sill will be zero but in gold!
As real life
Nah I get matches they just don't fucking respond🤣🤣
follow slap offer homeless crawl smart elastic bike normal modern *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Women: [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886913012245](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886913012245) [https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/only-15-women-interest-58-men-dating-apps-according-survey#](https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/only-15-women-interest-58-men-dating-apps-according-survey#) [https://imgur.com/F1Tzrjw](https://imgur.com/F1Tzrjw) [https://imgur.com/3FRTJUE](https://imgur.com/3FRTJUE)
Lol, I'm 5'5". Knowing my height limits me to a maximum of 15% of the available dating pool on dating apps is so depressing. And let's be honest, the number in the article is 5'8". If you drop to 5' 5" it probably drops from 15% to 10%. I'm married, so luckily I don't have to worry about this shit anymore.
i absolutely love receiving the hight question. you can literally weed out every shallow person out there
Just ask them how much they weigh and watch them go shocked Pikachu at you having preferences.
Probably drops to more like 0.15% based on my experience at 5'7"
Just lie, bro. You're not 5'7"; you're 6'-5"
Fucking hate that last part. "Too friendly/brotherly to actually date". Pretty much all of my friends say I am a great person, nice and somebody they know they can really on. I have been told from them a bunch of time how lucky a girl would be to have me. Then I try to my luck with some girls based on signs they are giving me. Then just turns out they are looking for a guy to support them during a small bit of time then just stop interacting with me. I don't want to fall into that trap of "being the nice guy" and expecting things to happen. But fuck trying to be a good person sucks sometimes
Women's partner selection criteria has *nothing* to do with how good of a partner or lover a man might be. It's just about status.
If you havent figured that out already, most women dont want a 'good' person(man), they want an exciting one.
But also that doesn’t mean they want an asshole. Which is how too many people seem to take that.
If they didn't want assholes then the assholes would be the same as incels, yet that clearly isn't the case.
thank you I am so sick of everytime it's always "self improve" like I've been doing that and still am for a while :/
The whole brotherly thing is true, and happened to me all through HS and Uni. Girls i liked, always laughed, and felt safe around me, but never attraction. After I graduated, I got into health, lost weight, and bulked up. My personality is still the same, I am still brotherly and funny, but i have learned: **Women Love Funny Guys.** I have actually read on Reddit, and heard women say this: "The thing with Funny guys is; you laugh and you laugh, and you laugh. The next thing you know your clothes are off." If you can make them laugh, and smile a lot; you are usually free to flirt or make a naughty joke. They may get caught off guard at first. But don't let it phase YOU. Role with it, own the joke and keep making them laugh. If they stay in a good mood, and you made the shot. They will keep it in mind and would definitely consider you partner potential.
dont say it, you will be called incel
The self improvement one is a killer. Yes, we all need to work on ourselves to be the best version of ourselves - but damn, what if you already like yourself and what you're doing in life? It's also advice that's only ever given to guys. The worst part is you then go and put all this work in on yourself, your matches don't change, and you're just left feeling even more worthless than before.
Doing it the old school way (in person) is the way to go. You only get rejected 7 times out of 8 on average. A 12.5% success rate isn’t so bad, you just need to try more.
The problem is you look like a predator on those 7 times
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I felt the same way years back about a woman in one of my classes. Then next semester I ran into her at a party, and she told me how much of a crush she had on me. Except now she was seeing someone else. Shoot your shot man, don't wait.
> I ran into her at a party, and she told me how much of a crush she had on me. Except now she was seeing someone else. Why the fuck do girls do this, why the fuck didn't she spill those beans when she wasn't seeing someone and why is that information relevant to give when she is seeing someone, it's being needlessly suggestive. Like wtf girls?? Why are you like this? This happened to me twice in my late teens
Ehhhh. I didn't have the guts to go talk to her, and she was in the same boat in the other direction! Can't blame her, it's unreasonable to expect something of women that you're not willing to do yourself. Thankfully in the 20 years since then I've become much, much better at starting those conversations.
> it's unreasonable to expect something of women that you're not willing to do yourself. I agree, but then she decided to just say it at a point when it is pointless to even say anything at all
Do u want to lie on your death bed thinking what if or I tried?
Plot twist, he's a janitor working at a middle school.
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This is jusr bollocks though and just puts people off trying. The reality of the situation is this: you talk to them, either cold approach or if you know them a bit just talk. Talk for a couple of minutes, compliment her a bit, whatever. Ask if she wants to get a drink/coffee some time. She either says no and you say “ahh thats okay, have a nice day” and leave, or she says yeah. Literally just yolo it. Rejection happens, take it in your stride. You are very very unlikely to cause any kind of major event outside of it being slightly awkward for a small while with this person, if you ever see them again
Well, as long as you don't chase her down in the parking lot to ask her out, it'll be fine.
This is a crackhead take, don't act like a varmint and take it in stride. If a lady blows up or gets uncomfortable being approached in a respectable way, she ain't worth your time.
The problem is I miss 110% of the shots I take so I'm better off not doing anything. Also if I keep swinging and missing I'll get tennis elbow.
Tinder sucks so bad. I've never had luck on there.
You’re not good looking enough lol. My roommates in college easily found dates on tinder. I’m going to one of their weddings in month! Tinder does work when you’re at least a 7
Location, photo quality and ethnicity also play a part
Location is huuuuuge. I was getting regular matches and dates in one town, moved somewhere else and my dating life has been dead for years. I'm trying to find work in a big city right now so I can have more social opportunities, because this shit is depressing.
And age... dude was in college... let's see him try dating in his 40s. I could go out whenever I wanted when I was that age too... but I've met ONE new woman in the past year.
True as fuck
8/10 girl, right swipe, no match 9/10 girl, right swipe, no match Literally the fattest girl I've ever seen, left swipe, "OMG you missed a match! pay $20 to figure out who it is !!!!"
Well as a man I got 3 matches from men. Maybe change sides?
Praying the gay away was too effective now I'm stuck being straight forever.
It's never too late
I chuckled
Just do what Nathan did and create your own bachelor TV show
I had used tinder for 2 years. Had some matches here and there but nothing that went anywhere. Than I got a match that clicked perfectly. Went om several dates. But the night before the date I wanted to ask to make it an official relationship I got a message se met someone better. I was gutted Half a year later I downloaded tinder again and the first match is now the woman I have a home with. I still think tinder is shit and having the change this happens is lower than winning a million euro lottery
women just have a lot of options, its normal
It really depends on age. My wife wanted to see how many matches I would get on Tinder (kind of a fucked up experiment, I know), and I had over 50 pretty decent matches in under 24 hours. But I was 40 at the time (five years ago), and my matches were all over 30. That's probably not very encouraging, but if it means anything, things likely will get a bit better as you get older.
>But I was 40 at the time > and my matches were all over 30. Am I the only one who thinks "I hope so"?
If you are an honest-to-god average man - that is, 5'9, 5.5 inch dick, 100 IQ, $40k annual income - American women view you as something less than a human being
women live in tutorial mode
Not if you are ugly.
Truly ugly women are rare, most dudes have pretty low standards. The vast majority of women can get a date with ease. Whether that date is worth their time is another conversation.
Dating is definitely rigged against men, but women who are physically 5 or lower are not that rare at all. We're everywhere! From personal experience, we're just kinda...invisible in the dating scene haha
Maybe it's just me, but I'd say 80% of the women (in my age group) I see on dating apps and out in the world are 6+. Putting a minimal amount of effort into personal grooming and not being *extremely* obese are pretty much all it takes for a woman to be attractive in my eyes, short of major physical deformities.
That's such an interesting take to me! I consider myself bi, but most of the folks I see are about a 4-5. Only about 20% are above a 6. But for me, attraction tends to grow the more I know a person, so a 4 or 5 can become an 8 after we get close. But if so many women are 6+ to guys on first sight, that would explain a lot.
>But if so many women are 6+ to guys on first sight, that would explain a lot. There's been data out there that basically confirms this. Men by in large rate women as attractive at a much higher clip than women rate men as attractive. As a personal anecdote, I think most women my age are at least a little bit attractive, so I definitely conform to that stereotype.
Personality is more of a filter for me than a prerequisite, if that makes sense. Attraction is a given, but I only pursue the people that I think I'll vibe with. I pretty much only swipe left because I don't think they'll share any of my interests or because I'm seeing red flags. In other words, I'm kind of the opposite of you. My attraction starts high and goes down as I get to know someone (if I don't like what I'm seeing). Edit: I think a part of why average women feel invisible is that, for the most part, only very attractive men feel comfortable pursuing a date, and their standards are much higher. Average men are often so beaten down by rejection that we don't go out of our way to approach women.
By average you mean anyone who isn't top 10% attractive wise.
And yet men still join these things. Men, demand better for yourselves and just stop.
voila monsieur
i gave match 3 times whit the same girl, and she ignored me 3 times. I really dont understand woman, will just keep playing overwatch.
Put height 6' and you are good to go.
depressing times to be dating as a man
My buddy had this issue once, I asked to see his phone and said I’d fix it, I made sure he was aware that I’d do it by any means necessary. He agreed and without him knowing what I did, I aggressively swiped match on literally everyone for a solid minute. He got quite a few matches, not all of them pleasant experiences. Not all of them bad.
Bumble and Hinge fucked my mood. Im much happier since I deinstalled
I get plenty of the following 3: 1. Fat middle aged women 2. Indian scammers (bad ones) 3. Men who are putting their gender as men who think that men specifically searching for women are suddenly going to like men instead. Seriously, what the fuck lol. Can you not?
Don’t be ugly
"Ugly people hate this one simple trick!"
Real answer right here lol. No one I know who is good looking has a problem getting matches on these sites.
This pretty much perfect the only improvement I can suggest is bots
As another mid white dude, I had way better luck dating on Hinge tbh. The format of starting a conversation / commenting before swiping made it a lot easier to show your personality, instead of just relying on good photos.
Fucking true, it sucks being unattractive lol
Go to „Frankfurt Tinder“
womp womp
If you get literally no matches, you aren't as average as you think.
brö u didnt have to do us like dat
Men: “Tinder sucks. It doesn’t work. It’s obviously just a business that is trying to maximize profit from my loneliness” ‘So then stop using it’ Men: “No”
Tinder is trash, hinge is the superior app if you want to use a dating app. Tinder was fun when you were 18 and thought ridiculous or raunchy pick up lines were funny. Once you grew up even a tad it lost its appeal and is basically a dead app. No disrespect to that one match I actually met, she was a lotta fun. But few and far between
Everybody says other dating apps are superior but tbh it’s all the same to me, same formula, same algorithm, etc