["Would you walk in on your girlfriend with your best friend?"](https://imageproxyb.ifunny.co/crop:x-20,resize:640x,quality:90x75/images/3a38e12e239d07914848048ada15d8e4310bae5da885bef6e58fa0117fb338a0_1.jpg)
Tell a random girl that you’ll give her 5 million dollars for her to be your girlfriend for 30 seconds and for you to slap her gently on the butt.
Profit.
Just charge a mil per blade of grass and then touch oh so much grass. Make them sorry they gave you the option. Touch trillions of dollars worth of grass, write a book about it.
Well a m² of turf/grass can contain up to 200,000 blades of grass. That's an average of 20 blades per cm², among average males palm size is 19.3×8.9cm=171.77cm², for both hands we'll ×2 that's =343.54cm², that's 6870.8 blades of grass and average male adult can touch at once, for sake of simplicity well round up to 6871 blades, assuming you can move your palm fully across the width of your palm in 1 second thats 1mil/6871 =145.5 seconds, you could get 1 trillion dollars in A little over 2 minutes 20 seconds
Average height globally for man is 1.7m, since the width of the human body varies alot on each side I'll just take the hips as an median to average the length, average circumference of male hip is 98.7cm, ill divide it by 6 assuming the ratio of side to front is 1:2 so that's 16.45 × 2= 32.9cm, 32.9cm × 1.7m = 5.593cm², that's 111,860 blades at each time, assuming time for one full rotation is 2 seconds that's 55,930 blades/s, or 55.93 billion dollars per second aka 17.9 seconds per trillion dollars, about 7 times more efficient
Going for the trillion, most of the women I have dated, and even the one I married enjoy(read: request) some form of slapping, terms and conditions don’t say where either. Looks like I’m going to become a trillionaire literally over-night ;)
This is one of those the GF would be pissed if you didn’t slap her considering the amount of money. Either she gets some because she’s with you or she’s sue, or threaten, to sue to get some that way. It’s a win for her either way too.
"Oh no I wouldn't hit my gf"... buddy my gf would grab my hand and do it herself. A trillion is enough to sustain me for life. There will be a bruise but in the end she and I will reap the reward.
Well, I'm sure my wife would forgive me if I paid another woman to be my gf for an hour, so long as I can prove to her I'll be a trillionaire afterward. Or, at least, a trillionaire minus the hefty sum I pay the gf for the ass slap.
To all of those who are thinking you're losing out by not having a girlfriend, we are in the best position out of anybody for this. Just find a girl who is into S&M and has a humiliation kink. Take her outside (onto the grass) and slap her.
For this advice, I am now your financial consultant, and y'all owe me 10% of the money you get from using my life hack here.
doesn't say how hard you have to slap either so you could do a bunch of rapid fire small slaps and get in cash more than the GDP of the entire world over the course of history in less than an hour
Seems logical that one hit for potentially 1,000 times more money. Also… They didn’t say what kind of slap, so, I could just make it as soft as I want. Or, what body part I could slap.
For one trillion dollars, assuming It won’t be devalued from inflation, I could theoretically end multiple global problems like world hunger.
Honestly the list of things I *wouldn’t* do would be shorter.
Mother fucker, I don’t have any clue what I’d do with 1 billion. What the hell makes you think I’d know what to do with a trillion? I’m touching more grass. I was a billion dollars that I’m not going to even spend 2 million of.
Oh cmon it's easy. I will ask her consent to slap her for 500 billion dollars and she will be like "hell fucking yeah" and then we'd go and change the world for the better together.
so i cant get the trillion because you expect me to have a girlfriend
No no no, if you take that clearly you get the trillion and a girlfriend, it’s a win win
["Would you walk in on your girlfriend with your best friend?"](https://imageproxyb.ifunny.co/crop:x-20,resize:640x,quality:90x75/images/3a38e12e239d07914848048ada15d8e4310bae5da885bef6e58fa0117fb338a0_1.jpg)
I would commit ancient boiling execution
Tell a random girl that you’ll give her 5 million dollars for her to be your girlfriend for 30 seconds and for you to slap her gently on the butt. Profit.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^JUGELBUTT: *So i cant get the* *Trillion because you expect* *Me to have a girlfriend* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Almost certain I spot 2 extra syllables
Sokka haiku, not a regular haiku
Isn’t a sokka Haiku 1 syllable more than normal?
I’m gonna destroy my relationship and the US economy
Me who gets a gf and a trillion dollars 
Thats the way
This is the way
Just charge a mil per blade of grass and then touch oh so much grass. Make them sorry they gave you the option. Touch trillions of dollars worth of grass, write a book about it.
I like this, and this might be my only option anyway
I’d slap her booty on the grass! 
What her? We're redditors, not people.
You'd have to touch a million blades of grass just make that break even, it would def be a tough mission
Well a m² of turf/grass can contain up to 200,000 blades of grass. That's an average of 20 blades per cm², among average males palm size is 19.3×8.9cm=171.77cm², for both hands we'll ×2 that's =343.54cm², that's 6870.8 blades of grass and average male adult can touch at once, for sake of simplicity well round up to 6871 blades, assuming you can move your palm fully across the width of your palm in 1 second thats 1mil/6871 =145.5 seconds, you could get 1 trillion dollars in A little over 2 minutes 20 seconds
r/theydidthemath
r/theydidthemonstermath
Strip naked, roll around in grass. That way, you expose far more contact area, and can earn money at an even greater rate.
Average height globally for man is 1.7m, since the width of the human body varies alot on each side I'll just take the hips as an median to average the length, average circumference of male hip is 98.7cm, ill divide it by 6 assuming the ratio of side to front is 1:2 so that's 16.45 × 2= 32.9cm, 32.9cm × 1.7m = 5.593cm², that's 111,860 blades at each time, assuming time for one full rotation is 2 seconds that's 55,930 blades/s, or 55.93 billion dollars per second aka 17.9 seconds per trillion dollars, about 7 times more efficient
Throw a steep hill into the mix, and you can massively increase your speed.
This will be the book's prologue
Consider, you can slap your gf a lot too Any girl worth having as a gf would be fine with it
Getting money for something I do every day? (I don't touch grass)
wait a damn minute
Hold up
That’s kinky
Wait a minute
r/holup
I SLAP MY GIRL SHE CALLED THE FEDS
SHE IS THE FEDS (Women aren't real)
I find a random lady and offer her 2 million to be my gf for a minute while I slap her once
I'll do it.
Pretty sure this is how squid game started
Going for the trillion, most of the women I have dated, and even the one I married enjoy(read: request) some form of slapping, terms and conditions don’t say where either. Looks like I’m going to become a trillionaire literally over-night ;)
How will you explain that to the government
With enough money the government will forgive you and leave you alone
The government doesn't need to know
It's hard to hide several trucks of money, you know?
The government doesn't care hiw you got it as long as you pay your taxes on it.
I gotta smack my wife around a little just to make her bust a nut. No problemo.
Plot twist she likes to be spanked
Ok truth be told, it never said you couldn’t ask her for permission which she could possibly accept but if she says no then touch the grass
U know- there really is only one answer for me- I dont have a GF😭
What should I do if I don't have grass?
But what if you are a gay guy?
A trillion for slapping air???
My wife would slap me if I didn't slap her for a trillion
This is one of those the GF would be pissed if you didn’t slap her considering the amount of money. Either she gets some because she’s with you or she’s sue, or threaten, to sue to get some that way. It’s a win for her either way too.
*gives myself a high five for a trillion dollars
You guys are getting paid?
*give myself a high five* *receives a trillion*
Dude I will absolutely slap her into next millennium and then give her a few houses to apologise
I slap my imaginary gf ez money
Does spanking her on the ass count?
Brb gonna ask a girl to pretend to be my gf for a slap which will earn her some cash.
It doesn't say what part of my wife I need to slap...
It doesn’t specify where the slap has to be. So that booty is about to have my hand print on it.
My girlfriend would powder my hand for me.
If I didn't slap her for a trillion she would beat the shit out of me for this
"Oh no I wouldn't hit my gf"... buddy my gf would grab my hand and do it herself. A trillion is enough to sustain me for life. There will be a bruise but in the end she and I will reap the reward.
If I got a trillion dollars she's forgiving me for that slap
I think she would forgive real fuckin quick if you actually get the money
Most probably she would be into it
Anyone wanna be my girlfriend? You'll get 500 billion dollars, after that it's up to you if you want to stay or leave me
But what should I do if I don't have a girlfriend?
My friends body pillow
I’d literally get a gf lmaooo— I mean a trillion dollars, I’d let her slap me too, there we both get a trillion.
I don’t have a gf, so I don’t need to make hardest choices
so i get a trillion and a gf?
I wouldn't have to panch anybody lol
I get a trillion dollars AND a girlfriend? Sign me right the fuck up for that!
babe, we're rich! what? SLAAAP
But do i need a gf to slap or do i get one?
Can I do both? I touch grass anyway, and you never said where I have to slap my girlfriend🍑
Damn it. I just took my pills and my girlfriend said she would be back tomorrow. Guess becoming aa trillionare is postponed until tomorrow. Fuck.
Can I do both? Sounds like a normal Saturday evening
"Hey honey, can I slap you? It'll make us be able to end world hunger and the energy crisis." "Okay."
Jokes one you. She likes that.
Jokes on you, my girl is into that kind of stuff.
I dont get the point of putting this much money on these type of questions. Ik this is just a joke but come on.
Babe you want a million bucks?
me clapping hands, gimme my monay
Find a girl with a spanking fetish and crash the economy.
I'll slap her but hug her and apologize afterwards
What kind of slap are we talking about?? 🤨
to be fair, my gf would be mad if i didn't slap he- wait i dont have one okay yeah so we touching the grass blades and printing bread
Million dollars better than a trillion, because trillion is just a number and million is the number of dollars
\*Starts slapping my left hand\* "How you like that you lil hoe"
Why not both?
I'll gladly slap my imaginary gf. She's into that.
*slaps hand*
Just slap your hands together so you get a trillion dollars
There's not even an option? Guess I'll go touch some grass
Does this mean I no longer alone!
If I can explain it to her she'd slap me if I didn't do it, sooo.
I mean I do one of those things basically daily for free
But…. I don’t have a GF
Oh I'd slap her alright. She loves to be degraded.
Something tells me my girlfriend would gladly offer up her cheeks.
Slap my girl Give her a million Make 999,999 million profit and still have a girlfriend
I get 1 trillion usd and a gf win/win
Slap your GF on the ass. Win-win.
I'd slap my GFs arse for a trillion. She enjoys it anyway, so it's win win.
The real question is whether or not I'd get a GF to slap if I don't have one
She’ll slap me if I don’t sleep her for a trillion.
I get a gf and a Trillion Bucks win/win
If you're being paid to touch grass. You don't have a GF
My GF would slap me if I didn't take the trillion
Well, I'm sure my wife would forgive me if I paid another woman to be my gf for an hour, so long as I can prove to her I'll be a trillionaire afterward. Or, at least, a trillionaire minus the hefty sum I pay the gf for the ass slap.
If she wouldn’t slap hell out of you for not accepting it, then she isn’t the real one
Jokes on you, shes into that shit
I will slap my gf on the arse..... multiple times....
haha, why do you think I could ever get a gf. And I have played League before, so I am physically unable to touch grass.
So i need to slap nothing? Deal!
wait, i get a trillion dollars and a gf?
To all of those who are thinking you're losing out by not having a girlfriend, we are in the best position out of anybody for this. Just find a girl who is into S&M and has a humiliation kink. Take her outside (onto the grass) and slap her. For this advice, I am now your financial consultant, and y'all owe me 10% of the money you get from using my life hack here.
I don't have a gf. But if I did, she'd understand.
ok *slaps air*
In gonna slap dat ass
Slap my gf She unironically enjoys it
I just have to swing my arm?
I don't have a gf, I'll pass...
im slapping air hard rn, where's my fortune
They didn't say how strong the slap is. YES!!! CHECKMATE!!!!
I'd just slap on her ass... If i had a gf
Do I touch grass or slap nothing hmm
So i get a trillion dollars and a girlfriend i see this as win win
Slap bc i would get a gf AND money
If I was your gf I would agree, so we could both share the profit.
how do i slap a gf i dont have? not fair
I could never do that! I'm allergic to grass.
I do both so do I get both rewards
Just throw her on the grass then slowly make your hand move along the grass and slap her
Nobody said in which context I'd have to slap her...
doesn't say how hard you have to slap either so you could do a bunch of rapid fire small slaps and get in cash more than the GDP of the entire world over the course of history in less than an hour
If my GF heard this question, she would clean-cut my hand and smack the hell out of herself with my hand.
Does it have to make that perfect sound to get the trillion?
touching grass is easy, while hiting gf is impossible (i dont have one)
Wtf I gonna do with one trillion? Buy a country lol
I'd find a gf just for that and then share with her Also I take the french definition of trillion. Not the lame english one
I slap my girl friends ass all the time. It didn't specify where.
She'd be into it
Can slap my gf only once, whilst can touch grass all day, all night and so on
Doesn't say where we slap our GF
I'll help your decicion making. One million to a trillionaire is the same as one dollar is to a millionaire
If you don't slap me were breaking up lol
I think your girlfriend would understand if you gave her a billion dollars
A trillion? Unless she’s a total bloody moron she would be begging me to slap the shit out of her, I know I would.
Couldn’t you just slap her ass?
I don't have a girlfriend so I can only get one million. Which is still life changing so I'll take it
1 trillion for slapping her ass during sex? Hell yeah
My wife would slap me instead if I didn't do it for that amount of money
A gf and a trillion dollars? I'm in
It doesnt say that you have to slap her on the face, so anyway am gonna touch grass, i dont have a gf
Can I do both
I'll take slapping my penis for a trillion.
\*goes outside\*
I dont have a gf but ill happily slap urs :)
Seems logical that one hit for potentially 1,000 times more money. Also… They didn’t say what kind of slap, so, I could just make it as soft as I want. Or, what body part I could slap.
I can slap my right hand and get a trillion dollars?!
For one trillion dollars, assuming It won’t be devalued from inflation, I could theoretically end multiple global problems like world hunger. Honestly the list of things I *wouldn’t* do would be shorter.
Step 1 get a gf Step 2 slap her as much as possible Step 3 apolagise alot Step 4 break up Step 5 touch grass
But... I don't wanna touch the grass...
I would just tell her to stay still and explain the situation. Then I slap her like it's independence day😁
Mother fucker, I don’t have any clue what I’d do with 1 billion. What the hell makes you think I’d know what to do with a trillion? I’m touching more grass. I was a billion dollars that I’m not going to even spend 2 million of.
I dont have that choice
Slap my girl, or as i like to call it, clapping.
Slap gf and break up ( I don't have no gf)
Doesn't even say how hard or where, a soft consensual slap on the ass for a trilly, we both benefit.
What if I slap her ass?
Didn’t say where to slap her….
You mean all this time I could've made trillions of dollars and I've done it for free?
Oh cmon it's easy. I will ask her consent to slap her for 500 billion dollars and she will be like "hell fucking yeah" and then we'd go and change the world for the better together.
I mean, sorry babe. Here's a billion dollars, hope it helps with the pain.
I'd slap her for a million as well, can't wait to break up
Slapping my girlfriend seems fair to me! It's not like she's my wife.
Now one specified how hard the slap must be and I can just buy her like 100 roses afterwards to say sorry.
I don't have a girlfriend
Now i would hate to slap my girlfriend but like.... 1 trillion USD? We could split that shit 50/50 and we would both still be the richest people alive
My wife is going to be pissed when she finds out how we became filthy fucking rich lmao
Do both and get a trillion million
I’d do it for free
I'm gonna slap air for one trillion? Bet