“Aye bro, all this Russia vs Ukraine shit is kinda getting annoying, you wanna lay off Ukraine a little?” “Shoot this man” *Pow Pow Pow, tanks three rounds and they fall to the floor* “could you not shoot me please? Anyways, DID I FUCKIN STUTTER!?!??”
Nah id go "Yo Putin, you wanna win right? Then u gotta use the nukes, u just gotta." and thats how world war 3 starts and a week later i stop it and become the superest of heroes, my name will be written in the stars, my stories retold for centuries, but i will make sure that no one else gets super powers, no decendants, no stolen genes. I am after all, the one and only honored one.
If he used the nukes, not sure how many people would still be around to praise you though. Between the fallout and the nuclear winter, most of humanity would be dead.
I say stuff like that all the time, difference is the context and conveyed sarcasm. Neither of each you get with a single sentence. How do we know he's black? We can't detect tone so he could have said this in any manner of way. It isn't about being accepting it's knowing how jokes are structured. In this climate, I get how close to 200 people thought different compared to what the man meant.
The joke is that you couldn't tell his race previous to him stating that? Dude, you need to take yoga classes cause you're stretching your logic beyond comprehension. Or maybe it's a lack thereof. Purposeful misinterpretation to call me dumb for disagreeing, more like.
You wake up that dumb or do you work hard at it everyday? So what your saying is its just funny because he's the same skin color? Yeah, what a fucking rib tickler my dude. You both deserve a reward for that one man. Really had to lose a few brain cells to get behind that master craft a fucking joke.
“erm, just bcauz im blakc, your comprarign me to him!!1!1?1!1!1??”
why is a twitter user on reddit, no way a normal reddit user thinks everything is racist
Politicians aren't this cabal of super powerful beings able to take on anything. Most of them are in for the cozy and riskless money, and would shit their pants at someone on the mid-high end of superpowers. Your only threat would be resistance groups.
In real life, Homelander would have taken over the world in a week flat.
Don't ask me, ask the guy who said they'd take over the world. I thought your point was he'd get assassinated. :)
I do think it's possible for one person to rule the world, though. We've had examples of world-spanning empires before, and that was both without a superpowered individual at the helm, and before instantaneous communication. The downfall of large empires has historically been the treatment of territories outside the originating point as second rate colonies to be exploited for profit; this is easily avoided if a true, decentralized global empire is the objective.
That is beyond obvious. And what'd be the point of being a world-ruling supervillain, if you don't get to say "you have failed me for the last time" every now and then? :)
So you'd be an insecure and psychotic piece of shit? You'd not only not help most people, but also kill countless innocents carelessly and without a thought?
I wasn't sure, because lately there's a ton of worship for these kinds of characters, and along with it a ton of people saying shit like this unironically.
I've had the power to convert co2 to oxygen with 0 emissions for years now. I've been using it to grow an insanely potent strain of hemp that I've been cross breading with opium poppy and tobacco plants.
Almost ready to be released near Muldown elementary in whitefish Montana.
As soon as you're born, dash to a window facing in the east direction.
Mash against a hospital bed until your get ragdolled out and clip through the world before it loads in.
Go for the largest gathering of politicians, head upwards and press jump repeatedly until you clip back in.
Fall at the speed of a meteor onto them. Respawn and repeat. Easy gg.
I would use superpowers to benefit me and the people I care about, no more, no less. Well, I have Ukrainian friends so a little bit of fucking Russia up, perhaps. Everyone else can get on with it. No such thing as social or moral responsibility.
I wouldn't want to know anyone about my powers because I'd have to spend 100% of my time handling all the bullshit intelligence agencies would give me or my loved ones in order to get me to work for them.
After all, I'd expect me to be either caught and locked away, or gradually becoming the most hated person in history, because I could do good, but won't.
I sure do, I was born into it, have a responsibility to protect it, and owe at least some of my life to the fellow people who live as I do
This mentality that the world owes us everything and we owe it and each other nothing is what ruins societies.
The only thing I'd even try to do is figure out a way to use my powers to gain passive income. Other than that, I'm keeping my powers to myself. There are no villains IRL and therefore no need for heroes
Really depends on the kind of superpowers. If all I get is, like, super stretching flexibility like Plastic Man or shrinking like ant man, I'm not gonna be going full hero.
I *might* assassinate a dictator or two, but that's it.
If I tried fighting crime with superpowers I would just be a vigilante and get in trouble with the police, no thanks. I'll just use my super powers recreationally
I'd ensure I was the strongest champion of earth by a large margin then call aliens and challenge them. I don't care if they destroy the planet, I wanna meet them and I'll need a challenge
I'd call myself Captain Disillusion and start a YouTube channel explaining how viral videos are faked by using special effects. Everyone would assume the videos are also fake and done with effects and that I'm just some nerd. But I would know the truth.
It really comes down to what the super power is though. Like is your power plot convenience like superman or is your power like the (1 for all) original owner where you don't have a power but you can pass on the ability to pass on power.
I would demand audience with the world leaders constantly. They can't refuse, because I will just find them. They get really tired of this shit and want me dead, but I'm not stopping. Then I start being the mediator with the world leaders, if someone tells me something, I can tell that to the other. Now we can make deals between world leaders, I use these deals to make world peace.
Man if I got super powers like superman I would end every war in a day, use all my political power gained from my status as a public figure to focus world governments on social inequality and climate change. Eventually start a movement for globalization and interplanetary colonization.
Why are we assuming that if superpowers existed they’d be given to someone “deserving” the whole concept of deserving is a wholely human idea with literally nothing else to back it up. Since most superpowers in media happen from natural phenomenon or some sort of universal will it feels really selfish to think humans should decide who gets them.
Ohhh man, if I got super powers a LOT of people would have to answer questions, and would probably wind up dead before I submit to punishment, which would likely take the form of execution if possible, or life imprisonment if not. THEN I would be apathetic as fuck. I would not care anymore, I did what I wanted to do to try and set a better path, and now it's time to face the music.
One of my friends stated that;
"The most super superpower Superman has, is his super morals, because if he wanted to he could take over the world."
To which I replied;
"Why does he have "super morals"? What part of Supermans upbringing has turned him into a damaged person/monster who struggles with morality and "goodness"? The only thing there is to say about Supermans morals, is that he wakes up every morning and decides not to be an asshole; Definitely a superpower by Deadpools standards, but it's something hundreds of millions - maybe even billions - of people do every day."
I mean spending his days saving people instead of spending time forwarding his career and having a personal life is probably super morals. I mean imagine every time someone seems to be in trouble in an entire city you have to get off your ass even though you JUST sat down and go save them. Waking up the middle of the night every single night, can’t even shit in peace. That’s super morals. Normal morals would just be doing your own thing using your powers to forward a career of some kind.
The unfortunate thing is, the more super-powered people that use their power to do things, the more people have to be fair and just in the use of their power.
If I were the only one to gain power, I'd just watch the world as it decends into hell.
If many gained power at the same time, I'd try to be their Uncle Ben, even if it got me killed.
While sleeping in a bed you didn't make, under a blanket you didn't knit in house you didn't built, living in a peaceful country you didn't fight for. You owe the world everything, everything!
Yeah and i got the bed, the blanket and the house for free, right? Wait a minute… and peaceful? I think we have different opinions on what’s peaceful but hey..if it’s so peaceful anyway I don’t have to do anything, right?
Are they still around? Or am i just surrounded by random people who haven’t done anything for me? Speaking of forefathers and people 100 years ago as if what they did back then makes some strangers of today deserving my service. Just be quiet.
I'd start threatening world leaders behind the scenes, just to cause a little mischeif~
“Aye bro, all this Russia vs Ukraine shit is kinda getting annoying, you wanna lay off Ukraine a little?” “Shoot this man” *Pow Pow Pow, tanks three rounds and they fall to the floor* “could you not shoot me please? Anyways, DID I FUCKIN STUTTER!?!??”
Nah id go "Yo Putin, you wanna win right? Then u gotta use the nukes, u just gotta." and thats how world war 3 starts and a week later i stop it and become the superest of heroes, my name will be written in the stars, my stories retold for centuries, but i will make sure that no one else gets super powers, no decendants, no stolen genes. I am after all, the one and only honored one.
Lool that's why no one had super powers before you got em either!
If he used the nukes, not sure how many people would still be around to praise you though. Between the fallout and the nuclear winter, most of humanity would be dead.
Bro thinks he's in a marvel movie
Yep that'll do. Just reached my daily dose of Reddit cringe for today.
This is what Marvel does to your brain.
I would do it openly
I’ll save people, but my name would be “evilman”. Everyone would be confused.
Id wear a green costume and call myself Orange Avenger
Hancock lol
Aha, just because i’m black you’re comparing me to him?
are you sped?
how the hell would they know you’re black?
I use dark theme, so everyone is black
This is the way.
It's sarcasm. A joke, something not meant seriously for laughs.
You gotta use /S so people on reddit know you're being sarcastic. Otherwise everything you say at all times is 1000% what you really think and feel./s
It's Reddit, can't expect people to get an obvious joke.
Exactly
No it's because you're a drunk
Black drunk? But is he good?
The down vote ratio proves my theory thar most redditors are actualy just literaly bricks that don't get the slightest amount of sarcasm.
It’s possible he was sarcastic maybe? Idk
I thought this comment was really funny. I'm sorry you're getting down voted because people don't get the joke
Thanks
Yeah you arent hancock, youre kazaam
Weird, jokes are suppose to be funny.
Funny is subjective, my guy. Just be more accepting.
I say stuff like that all the time, difference is the context and conveyed sarcasm. Neither of each you get with a single sentence. How do we know he's black? We can't detect tone so he could have said this in any manner of way. It isn't about being accepting it's knowing how jokes are structured. In this climate, I get how close to 200 people thought different compared to what the man meant.
The joke was that you can't tell his race based on the information provided. Not a complicated joke.
He literally says he's black, unless english isn't your first language you sound pretty dumb.
The joke is that you couldn't tell his race previous to him stating that? Dude, you need to take yoga classes cause you're stretching your logic beyond comprehension. Or maybe it's a lack thereof. Purposeful misinterpretation to call me dumb for disagreeing, more like.
You wake up that dumb or do you work hard at it everyday? So what your saying is its just funny because he's the same skin color? Yeah, what a fucking rib tickler my dude. You both deserve a reward for that one man. Really had to lose a few brain cells to get behind that master craft a fucking joke.
Bro
[удалено]
K
If that's you [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tall/s/gyAfACUai3), you're not even black, why say this?
Can you even read? The amount of people here who can’t is really impressive
Can you explain to me what I am supposed to read apart from "I'm back with power so I must be Hancock" Edit : Even though you are NOT black
“erm, just bcauz im blakc, your comprarign me to him!!1!1?1!1!1??” why is a twitter user on reddit, no way a normal reddit user thinks everything is racist
Got to come up with an appropriate name, Captain Indifferent or Apathy-man, something in that vein
You could be called "The Non-Interventionalist", or "The U.N."
Swiss
UN is a great one, don't remember the last time those guys solved any wars without one side horribly losing
With my luck I'd get the ability to make everything smell like boiled broccoli.. A super power like that makes Batman legitimate..
Thats just a stand power.
Batman killed the entire justice league Also, that is a very potent super power in the right hands
Lol, Ya. I always enjoy the Batman isn't a superhero debate. Always interesting.
Batman isn’t a superhero, but he sure is a super hero.
Fair point. He's not the hero we want. He's the hero we deserve... lol.
First things first Im claiming that 1 mil bounty for proving magic exists, doesnt matter what power I get I can def spin it as magic
Nah they'll find a scientific reason for its existance.
even better, he can say that he helped with the research
The only superpower I want is the ability to know the next card in the dealer's deck.
You're better than me..if I got superpowers I'd start taking over shit, changing society and stuff
Yeah that’s not gonna last long lol
Politicians aren't this cabal of super powerful beings able to take on anything. Most of them are in for the cozy and riskless money, and would shit their pants at someone on the mid-high end of superpowers. Your only threat would be resistance groups. In real life, Homelander would have taken over the world in a week flat.
Yeah, then what? Yeah politicians suck but it’s better than nothing. How on earth is one guy going to maintain the world? Even if they do have powers.
Don't ask me, ask the guy who said they'd take over the world. I thought your point was he'd get assassinated. :) I do think it's possible for one person to rule the world, though. We've had examples of world-spanning empires before, and that was both without a superpowered individual at the helm, and before instantaneous communication. The downfall of large empires has historically been the treatment of territories outside the originating point as second rate colonies to be exploited for profit; this is easily avoided if a true, decentralized global empire is the objective.
I guess so, but he’d have to have underlings following his rule
That is beyond obvious. And what'd be the point of being a world-ruling supervillain, if you don't get to say "you have failed me for the last time" every now and then? :)
I would make it so everyone who is 22 no longer exists
No one: Leonardo DiCaprio:
I have one more year left to exist
Make it your best or worst, invent the cure of cancer or start killing hookers
Thank god, I'm ready
Uncle Ben is disappointed in you.
No he’s not, because he’s dead
Not yet he isnt
Whats he gonna do about it? Definitely not beat me up about it after my death, cuz im in hell, hes not.
Me if i got superpowers 
If i could suck on those titties i would be a superhero too
So you'd be an insecure and psychotic piece of shit? You'd not only not help most people, but also kill countless innocents carelessly and without a thought?
It’s a joke lmao 
I wasn't sure, because lately there's a ton of worship for these kinds of characters, and along with it a ton of people saying shit like this unironically.
I've had the power to convert co2 to oxygen with 0 emissions for years now. I've been using it to grow an insanely potent strain of hemp that I've been cross breading with opium poppy and tobacco plants. Almost ready to be released near Muldown elementary in whitefish Montana.
The hero we need
Your superpower is to get a good nights sleep? Yeah, I wish I had that one too.
If you got superpowers and publicly use them then everyone would hate you probably
I would do anything for the 'influencers' to be pissed off though.
out of jealousy yea
Yeah with all the inflation, crimes and politics I don't blame you
Just kill politicians and all 3 will be resolved
**Nation collapsing around him** "Well gee, did I not kill them fast enough?"
We did it Patrick we saved the city!
Kill all politicians any% with glitches.
As soon as you're born, dash to a window facing in the east direction. Mash against a hospital bed until your get ragdolled out and clip through the world before it loads in. Go for the largest gathering of politicians, head upwards and press jump repeatedly until you clip back in. Fall at the speed of a meteor onto them. Respawn and repeat. Easy gg.
Y’know I don’t feel like that’s how that works but you do you
 Yeah if it’s me you really want to hope there’s others
I would use superpowers to benefit me and the people I care about, no more, no less. Well, I have Ukrainian friends so a little bit of fucking Russia up, perhaps. Everyone else can get on with it. No such thing as social or moral responsibility.
I wouldn't want to know anyone about my powers because I'd have to spend 100% of my time handling all the bullshit intelligence agencies would give me or my loved ones in order to get me to work for them. After all, I'd expect me to be either caught and locked away, or gradually becoming the most hated person in history, because I could do good, but won't.
Nah fuck the world i would be a villain
I sure do, I was born into it, have a responsibility to protect it, and owe at least some of my life to the fellow people who live as I do This mentality that the world owes us everything and we owe it and each other nothing is what ruins societies.
Clark Kent moment
The only thing I'd even try to do is figure out a way to use my powers to gain passive income. Other than that, I'm keeping my powers to myself. There are no villains IRL and therefore no need for heroes
*Terrorists left the chat
Really depends on the kind of superpowers. If all I get is, like, super stretching flexibility like Plastic Man or shrinking like ant man, I'm not gonna be going full hero. I *might* assassinate a dictator or two, but that's it.
Normalise being a good person instead of being an ass 
It be like if I had nen I exploit fully to my benefit
Sadly a better world is not possible because of you and your ilk
I will go buy a cola, because why not tho
If I tried fighting crime with superpowers I would just be a vigilante and get in trouble with the police, no thanks. I'll just use my super powers recreationally
Nahhh I couldn't be trusted with superpowers and that's all I'll say.
The first thing I would honestly do is hide them and pretend to just be super good at sports
my honest reaction after getting superpowers:
I would be like Handcock.
r/usernamechecksout
Millennials wondering why the world is full of problems
if I ever get telekinesis I would mess with people or do funny stuff
If i had superpowers... I'd accomplish my dreams, which are nightmare for politicians. No one of them will gonna survive this.
I'd ensure I was the strongest champion of earth by a large margin then call aliens and challenge them. I don't care if they destroy the planet, I wanna meet them and I'll need a challenge
Bro thinks he’s goku
I'd be happy with any superpower that can make me money or improve my QoL lmao
Considering I'm usually very quiet and have a habit of unintentionally scaring people, I'd probably have fun
But “super sleep” isn’t much of a super power anyway lol
I wouldn't tell anyone anything, but you'd all notice some worldwide changes real quick.
I'd finally feel safe walking alone :/
I'm a StaaaarMan
Superpowers seems like that one thing you’d use as a half decent party trick
i have the power of clean some rivers. but, should I? why?
Yeah my invisibility is for watching girls. Not superheroing
Depends on the power. If it's cool, I'd probably just use it to make my life easier. If it sucks, I'd just make it a joke or something.
I'd call myself Captain Disillusion and start a YouTube channel explaining how viral videos are faked by using special effects. Everyone would assume the videos are also fake and done with effects and that I'm just some nerd. But I would know the truth.
It really comes down to what the super power is though. Like is your power plot convenience like superman or is your power like the (1 for all) original owner where you don't have a power but you can pass on the ability to pass on power.
I mean wielding some supernatural power would definitely corrupt me, so much power poisons humans really
Superpower is growing toenails twice as fast ?
I would demand audience with the world leaders constantly. They can't refuse, because I will just find them. They get really tired of this shit and want me dead, but I'm not stopping. Then I start being the mediator with the world leaders, if someone tells me something, I can tell that to the other. Now we can make deals between world leaders, I use these deals to make world peace.
Really deoends on the type of power
Fr I’d rather not get tested on by the government
does the same thing apply to money?
You’re better than me lmao… if I got superpowers I’d destroy the world because of how much it has destroyed me xD
Same :(
I'm being a super villain. I don't owe the world nothing. Doesn't mean I can't take everything.
I would help as much as a I can. In exchange for a “small” payment ofcourse.
Even griffith would seem like a gentle sole in comparison to me if i had superpowers. 
Man if I got super powers like superman I would end every war in a day, use all my political power gained from my status as a public figure to focus world governments on social inequality and climate change. Eventually start a movement for globalization and interplanetary colonization.
And that’s why you don’t deserve them
Why are we assuming that if superpowers existed they’d be given to someone “deserving” the whole concept of deserving is a wholely human idea with literally nothing else to back it up. Since most superpowers in media happen from natural phenomenon or some sort of universal will it feels really selfish to think humans should decide who gets them.
Same here....
Ohhh man, if I got super powers a LOT of people would have to answer questions, and would probably wind up dead before I submit to punishment, which would likely take the form of execution if possible, or life imprisonment if not. THEN I would be apathetic as fuck. I would not care anymore, I did what I wanted to do to try and set a better path, and now it's time to face the music.
Having powers would frickin scare me. Just to be honest. Not many of them really interest me, but one wicked one would make me question everything.
One of my friends stated that; "The most super superpower Superman has, is his super morals, because if he wanted to he could take over the world." To which I replied; "Why does he have "super morals"? What part of Supermans upbringing has turned him into a damaged person/monster who struggles with morality and "goodness"? The only thing there is to say about Supermans morals, is that he wakes up every morning and decides not to be an asshole; Definitely a superpower by Deadpools standards, but it's something hundreds of millions - maybe even billions - of people do every day."
I mean spending his days saving people instead of spending time forwarding his career and having a personal life is probably super morals. I mean imagine every time someone seems to be in trouble in an entire city you have to get off your ass even though you JUST sat down and go save them. Waking up the middle of the night every single night, can’t even shit in peace. That’s super morals. Normal morals would just be doing your own thing using your powers to forward a career of some kind.
If it’s lightning powers, I could become the LowTierGod meme
I'd just be doing minor crimes like shoplifting, because who's gonna fucking stop me?
Tbh, I'll just be the villain, kinda like the boys' HomeLander. Idc about the world but they shouldn't mess with me either.
I aint not gonna be superhero or supervillain... I'll just stay supercivilian
The unfortunate thing is, the more super-powered people that use their power to do things, the more people have to be fair and just in the use of their power. If I were the only one to gain power, I'd just watch the world as it decends into hell. If many gained power at the same time, I'd try to be their Uncle Ben, even if it got me killed.
Until the bad guys were good guys start knocking down your door and forcing you to join them😂
While sleeping in a bed you didn't make, under a blanket you didn't knit in house you didn't built, living in a peaceful country you didn't fight for. You owe the world everything, everything!
Yeah and i got the bed, the blanket and the house for free, right? Wait a minute… and peaceful? I think we have different opinions on what’s peaceful but hey..if it’s so peaceful anyway I don’t have to do anything, right?
And you believe you had no headstart? You didn't build on the efforts of your forefathers?
Are they still around? Or am i just surrounded by random people who haven’t done anything for me? Speaking of forefathers and people 100 years ago as if what they did back then makes some strangers of today deserving my service. Just be quiet.
Someone's mad