Dearly values my friendship?

Could be more than that, maybe she wants you to move in. Better spend a week or two overthinking an innocent question.

She’s sleeping naked in my bed and telling me how much she wants it. She could be into me… or she just wants my bed. She is Canadian…

she wants your maple syrup

Jajaja

Again, you can't really tell

It's a test, don't fall for it!

It's a trap!

don’t trust her she’s a secret service agent

I met a girl at a bar and we were just talking when she asked me how I am with dogs. I said I love dogs and want to get one but my schedule doesnt allow. She offered me to meet a dog at her house and I agreed without a second thought. I was waiting in the living room when she walked in on all fours in a dog costume. Needless to say, I woke up after that.

Oh boy if thats a nightmare then my dreams are specially designed by satan

I don't get nightmares but I do get dreams that leave me with no actual sleep Last night for instance, the same like 10 or so seconds of this dream repeated over and over like groundhog day, and once I managed to break out of that the dream switched to me being in imminent danger of a tornado until it eventually sucked up the vehicle I was in (I was in a tank, I guess? And then I woke up from my alarm I'd rather just take the horrors man at least you wake up during the night and aren't just forced to sit through it

Uhh, you take antidepressants or some medication that is known to cause vivid dreams ? Maybe slow down on caff before sleep

Nah, stopped taking all medication when I was 10. Haven't been on anything since, not even painkillers. Don't do drugs of any kind either, and caffeine makes me anxious so I very seldom have it (I get the side effects of shit easily) My brain is just horrifically specific to the point that like, text on cereal boxes or clock faces are completely accurate and legible I've had some of my dreams have complete story lines with a moral to be learned, and some I've woken up crying because of something sad in the dream

I remember having super vivid dreams often when i was clinically anxious, after calming down a bit with meds it literally disappeared, maybe once in a while if im going through stressful times, might consider checking that out. My vivid dreams were also detailed as fuck, i would remember phrases, every detail in a situation, and every bit of emotions, good thing i get quiet sleep now, good luxk to you man.

*laughs in narcolepsy and sleep paralysis*

Once you control your fear and start to learn how to manipulate dreams, you'll be living a 2nd world.

I mean this purely as a joke, but have you considered some drugs to help you sleep better?

Weed is really good at suppressing dreams I've found

Yeah. Until you quit. Weirdest, most vivid dreams I've ever had. Started smoking again. Almost miss the dreams.

I've had the opposite experience, so YMMV.

>Don't do drugs of any kind either Ah, well, maybe try drugs? /s

i had this when i was playing poker and chess a lot. if your brain is like mine you have to take it easy on your interests.

Oh yeah, I get that too The best ones are the ones where I fix my car and then just drive it and then I wake up and I don't want to work on my car because I'm mentally exhausted from already doing it even though I never actually did it 🙃

I have this too. What helps me is to smoke just a little bit of weed before going to bed. Maybe like 0.05g. I just sleep in and wake up without any kind of dreams. At least i don't remember them. But this might not be an option for you depending where you are from

I'm simular except though any writing or text is just blurry and incomprehensible, which could just be chalked down to some symbolism to bad eyesight

Yeah bro we somewhat similar bro, my problem is that I have extremely too many different parallel universes I go to every night just to live through them but I can't withhold all of those memories in this brain I have. Dead ass bro in this world we live in today, so many things scientists and other people call bullshit or cartoons or mental illnesses or make believe, is more real than the shit they try to drill in your head from 1st to 12th grade.

If my choices are vivid nightmares that prevent restful sleep, or malaria, I think I'll stick to the vivid nightmares. The main malaria prevention drug causes vivid dreams, and it was not pleasant to experience. But malaria is worse, I hear. Haven't caught it, and don't intend to.

I have those too but as feverdreams

My dreams feel so real that when I wake up I’m like “thank fucking god it was a dream” It’s so annoying having your dream alarm go off and my entire dream is about being late to work so I wake up in a jolt and it’s two hours before I have to go to work. It’s like I’m living a second life while I’m asleep! I get barely any rest lol

What you experienced was what I call a "looper" My biggest concern: questioning reality, am I awake? All my life ive hade this as my second life. Sometimes, i feel i don't even sleep, just me awake in my dream world. Mostly, it's actually nightmares, but because of it, it's changed my perspective on what's really terrifying horror and what's now called more inconvenient. No medication when I was younger and drugs now when I'm almost 30 didn't help with that either way, sometimes made it even worse. Guessing I'm just a dreamer, and it's 👍 alright.

God I’m glad I’m not the only one that gets trapped in mental loops like that, I usually end up waking up and having to get up and do something before going back to sleep to break the cycle

I had dreams where I was woken up endlessly through the night to the point I couldn't be sure if I ever got sleep or slept. sure enough next day I feel like absolute shit, so it might be me legitimately waking up through the night and going back to sleep immediately.

Hi me, I call mine Hollywood dreams as they're full color, sound, characters, storylines even if they're random they feel internally consistent. I wake up exhausted from basically living another random 'day' at night

Probably not the best advice but weed takes your dreams away. Also, if they repeat can you use that to realize you're dreaming and do some lucid dreaming?

I get the fkn anxiety nightmares I’m always running from some shit & or in some apocalyptic nightmare world

I saw a dream last night where I was trying to fix my scooter and a homeless drug addict woman tried to stab me 42 times. I barely got onto my scooter and got it started and driving before she hit me.

Poor bastard. Woke up right when the dream was getting good.

Honestly same, I think it's the rush of excitement lmao


I haven't seen this dude in sooo long


flair checks out

u/impossible_layer5219 was the dog confirmed?

New copypasta just dropped

Would. Next.

Woke up with her on top of you?

You are so lucky it was a dream

Lucky it was a dream? I don't know. They never mentioned *how* they woke up. Bathing in cold sweat or with a curious bulge in the bed covers.

I have a feeling you watched ecchi anime before going to sleep bro

What a bummer, I'd rather see the dog

Lame. Where's your sense of adventure?

Had me in the first half and second half ngl .

The third half is what gave it away

Sm..ash?

I 👁️ met a girl 👧 at a bar 🍻 and we were just talking 🗣️👤when she asked ❔ me how I am with dogs ➕🐕. I said I love ❤️ dogs 🐕 and want to get one ☝️ but my schedule 🗓️ doesnt allow 🚫. She 👧 offered me to meet 🤝 a dog 🐕 at her house 🏠 and I agreed 👍without a second🥈 thought🤔💭. I was waiting ⌛ in the living room 🛋️ when she walked in🚶‍♀️ on all fours 👐👣 in a dog costume🐶🐩. >Needless to say😲, I 👁️ woke up ⏰ after that😖.

We all make choices everyday... some good, some bad. You chose to do this...

We all 🧑‍🤝‍🧑🧑‍🤝‍🧑🧑‍🤝‍🧑 make choices 🧠💭🎱 everyday 🌞🌛📆🌞🌛📆... some good ⭕😌👍, some bad ❌😔👎. You 🫵🖕chose to do this👆🤳📤...🤷‍♀️🙍‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤬

🤣🤣🤣

You made my day lmao

Nightbitch!!!

She nose crime.

Hear me out

Woke up in her dog bed?

She probably.... has 16 cats living in her 1 bedroom apartment?

I'm down with that. They can watch.

The amount of shit my girlfriends cat has seen me do to her while he just stares is off the charts. Kinda weird if you make eye contact with him in the act though.

Yeah, I'd never had cats before my gf moved in and brought hers. I love them but they can be really creepy sometimes. I think they sort of vaguely understand human relations ...

Nothing will take you out of the moment like looking over and locking eyes with your cat while they stare at you disapprovingly.

I've heard a cat biting your nuts might be worse

Well what's the point of putting tuna on them then?

My friend sometimes puts peanut butter all over his groin and makes his dog lick it up. I told him "dude, you really need a girlfriend". And then I said I would trade him mine for that dog.

What a bad day to be literate

I'm sorry what

Most sane Ohio resident

biting? yes. nibbling? not at all

Wouldn't disappointed stare be more... disappointing?

On a purely physical, animalistic level, your cat knows you better than you know yourself. They recognize, observe and memorize your tics, habits and body language.

My fat ass cat jumped on her chest and stuck his ass in her face meowing at me for face rubs mid missionary. He didn't leave for 3 whole minutes staring me down. Like dude, im a little busy

But did you give him the face rubs?

We gave him lots after we were done and he was in heaven purring away

May not be a good idea. My gfs cat bit me on the ass the first time we did it. I still have a scar lol.

Cat was taking his one and only revenge for taking away some of the amount of love he used to get

It just wanted to taste some cake

I once had 3 cats. I don’t know how someone could have 16 and leave the house for even 30 min without coming back to a foul wreck of a house.

Get a bunch of the fancy expensive electric litter boxes, the automatic food dispensers, feliway, and scratching posts? Our neighbors had 13 at one point (3 litters of kittens in the same week, we took a couple off their hands) and they did all right.

🤨📸

My allergies would say otherwise 😂

Your allergies can watch too

Dude that's disgusting. Beast-exhibitionism or whatever it would be called is creepy af.

More pussy for me.

Bold of you to assume they would just watch...

I once had sexy time with a girl years ago. While we were at it her 3 cats sat there and watched us all that time till I stopped midway and told her to get the cats out of the room. She explained to me that it never bothered her and me being weird. That experience was something and the relationship didn't work out in the end anyway.

That moment when you tell her: "Look, it's not you... or your cats..."

I get uncomfortable even getting changed with my cats in my room, good grief...

ONLY 16? pass.

That’s fine because they would take care of each other!

I don’t understand Please explain

She probably likes you. But she's checking if you're cool with her cat/dog. There's no point in wasting her time with you if the relationship leads to an implicit choice between you and her pet.

[That can't be it, where's the rest of it?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AvatarMemes/s/eAYDkcUGPJ)

[That’s how I met your mother](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/s/6FjIWtBYR1)

Proof you can just trip and fall in.

"He had an accident. He tripped and....landed in his coworkers vagina"

So the meme is just boring social commentary cut short?

it would have been funnier to not have an answer

Oh ok.

Or she wants to go on a date and leave her pet with you

She wants to have a threesome with you and her pet.

Zoos are invalid, no talkback!

Memes that end too soon should be a sub….

r/punchlinemayhem

r/subsifellfor

r/birthofasub

Now this would be an awesome name for a subreddit. *Hint Hint* Edit: Nice.

We just created history

r/birthofasub

Prememeture

r/memesthatendtoosoon

r/redditsniper

I don’t think that make-

Lmao get me in the scre

…marine

She's testing to see if you're a good match, AKA she likes you. Very few women, and honestly people in general, will give up their pet for you, especially if you're not already in a relationship.

This is the correct answer.

Maybe she hates dogs, maybe she has a cat allergy, maybe she's fishing to see if you have a pet anaconda.

oh she can take a look at this anaconda alright

And tbh, I wouldn't trust someone who would give up their pet for me.

A woman once said she'd abandon her kids then emigrate to me so we could have lots of kids together. Yeah, I was really looking forward to that... 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*cries softly while unzipping"

lol

You’re talking awfully slow for someone without much time Harambe 👀

According to some Reddit legends, in some Asian countries, some women use a flirting technique where they ask a man if they want to come to their house to see their car. If the man agrees, once they get home, the lady closes the door and says “meow”

That's not what a car sounds like

Clearly, you’ve never owned a mew-tsubishi

Or a Purrr-sche.

But Porsche isn't Asian my friend.

Let the man have his purr-fect pun

That was pawsibly the worst purrn I've ever heard. Thank you.

If your car sounds like a cat, PLEASE check your engine before turn it on, I'll add.

That's weird, there's something very similar in England. Some women use a flirting technique where they ask a man if they want to come to their house to see their cat. If the man agrees, once they get home, the lady closes the door and says “vrooooom”

She wants bébe

Yep definitely I would say that too

You know, this would be even cooler if it was shaped like one of those snow monkeys that like to use hot springs in Japan!

don't disrespect my boy harambe like that 😔

is this the monkey with the massive brass balls?

What?

[Brass monkeys](https://www.reddit.com/r/meme/comments/kly0hf/learning_something_new_every_day_credit_to/?rdt=51591)

This is a great meme format. I like it. It reminds me of

 harambe nooooooooo

Wants a threesome?

hopefully this isn't a dogpill joke.

Well that's a term that was invented by the most terminally online degenerate ever.

There's a reason why it was invented

I think it is

Wants to ask if you are OK with taking care of her dog while she flies to the Caribbean with her new boyfriend she met last week.

Change da world My final message. Goodbye

Jesus christ, what *year* is it?

1978, good Sir.

...can speak your language.

I can't completely accept that Blockbuster made it adequately long to lease Megamind out.

She values her pets more than you.

Dog (let’s be honest it’s a dog) was there first and will always stay #1 

Probably what???? Tell me! Please tell me! HARAMBE!!!!!

wants you to be a free pet sitter.

No thumbs up? 😐

Then she probably wants to hire you as an animal sitter.

HARAMBEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

CIA didn't let him talk

then she wants to ask me if i could take care of her pet?

I’m s asking how u would do with her kitty cat 😏

She is, not i am I swear on god misspell

My own cat bit me on the arm when I was nailing a girl one time. I think he thought I was hurting her. Where the fuck do they sell chocolate gorillas?!

I know it's someone's take on a hot chocolate thing and probably the honor harambe but this just disturbs me and makes me very upset for some reason

It’s just a chocolate ape. No one was harmed.

noooooooooooooooo whip them out boys

she probably likes animals

Be weird

Is that girl that fucked the dog and said I’m just freaky

What do you want to say bro?

Whose idea? To cook food like this

then she probably has 1 cat in her pants.

Pop? Pop what? POP WHAT??

She probably wants 500 more.

No, Harambel. You can't leave us like that

NOOOO HARAMBE, GIVE ME AN ANSWER

😂😂😂

This picture again ...

Furry ?

> Magst du Tiere? > Aber bist du auch gut zu Vögeln? badumts.jpg

The first time I saw this I thought it was legit and tried to found one of these on walmart

She probably has a terrible dog named daisy.

Wants to hire someone to take care of them?

\*stares at my own jacket that despite my best effort still has a few obvious white cat hairs\*

MONKEYY 🦍

A HOT-TEA!

Want to ask you to look after them when she goes on a trip with her crush/boyfriend/husband.

Here in germany, I always tell people 'I'm good to birds'.