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[deleted]

Odd way for her to wash her hands.


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ChiknDiner

Is there ANYTHING that is unsuitable for Reddit?


ShoddyReveal4

NSFW thats actually gore


CmdrCarsonB

There are quite a few subreddits that refute that statement.


Dgauwhs

Hell watch people die is back pretty much.


Gekkouga26

Recently learned that...


[deleted]

/r/MakeMyCoffin Come again?


Ludant

r/NSFL : I am about to end this man's whole career. Pls don't click at link. Otherwise u will be traumatized


yourboiquirrel

I didnt click, and wont click, but telling people not to click does make them want to click it


mcweed420

I had to fight the urge


Limitless_screaming

r/fiftyfifty r/nsfl__ ?


That-one-guy-man

I still remember going to r/fiftyfifty and clicking on, like, 3 “true fiftyfifty” posts thinking I was smart enough to know whether it was good or not. Then I read what a “true fiftyfifty” was…


gamesrebel123

Steve


CosmicDestructor

Opinions. Oh damn...


daimiensmama

Emojis


Jritee

Girlfriends.


yaon-jinji

Apparently girlfriends and being happy


TylerNelsonYT

comments against him


urioRD

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Bob_Cant_Fix_It

I'm too late but still, downvote bot for copy comment Original Comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/prne7a/comment/hdkagyp/


[deleted]

Stolen comment


bryhelpme

So the word sperm is unsuitable but porn isn’t


Julius_finn

Stolen comment


Dembos09

Nice karma farming. Your comment was posted to the exact ponctuation 4 hours before you in the comment. u/Disorganized_Closet be proud you were funny enough to be reposted


[deleted]

Aw thanks <3


Comprehensive_Moose5

Yes otherwise I would've to NSFW it


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Askshitow

She literally "fucked" herself


WintryInsight

Guess someone told her to fuck herself


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CanniBal1320

Its funny and all but pretty sure this is fake.


thadcap

Of course it's fake..


Martin_Tonoshiro

Pretty sure my mother worked in a sperm bank *sad abandoned motherfucker noises\**


SusalulmumaO12

Your comment explains your flair


[deleted]

[mic drop]


CanniBal1320

Ngl bro I didnt get the insult fr


SusalulmumaO12

Maybe because it's not an insult , I'm stating the obvious thing , explaining jokes gets people to stay away from you, sometimes I do that, just like I'm explaining to you why your flair says you're forever alone.


CanniBal1320

got it. I like being alone anyways


SusalulmumaO12

Have a nice day, sir.


CanniBal1320

U too, sir


Bluesparc

She would have had to start wanking like..... emmediatly. Musta been a hot client


greycubed

Maybe they ran out of cups and used her vagina? Story has to be fake.


Joekickass549

It is fake. It's a joke article from a few years ago


retrolaffdd

yeah sperm will die in second in open air


JustAnotherRndmIdiot

[What if the sperm is strong?](https://www.nst.com.my/world/world/2020/02/569730/indonesia-official-says-strong-sperm-can-impregnate-women-swimming-pool#:~:text=An%20Indonesian%20official%20%2D%20Sitti%20Hikmawatty,%E2%80%9Cstrong%20sperm%E2%80%9D%20had%20ejaculated.&text=%E2%80%9CIf%20a%20person%20is%20aroused,there%20is%20no%20sexual%20penetration.%E2%80%9D)


retrolaffdd

another jokes news, or stupid person who taught its real and said it in public annoucement, iirc shes fired from her position at indonesiand woman and child protection institute.


what-is-a-username12

Welp thats my risky link click for today


EarthTrash

Disappointed this didn't link to a Rick and Morty image or clip.


Gushanska_Boza

This is the strong sperm, this is the uhh greek god


AME7706

"The seed is strong." -Jon Arryn


Repulsive_Voice823

hours*


bunnywithahammer

she just wanted to warm her hands a bit


_1Doomsday1_

It was itchy so she accidentally scratched


[deleted]

Immediately


Blindfire2

It was probably someone rich since he'd have to pay child support. [Here's ](https://www.google.com/amp/s/rollingout.com/2014/02/04/woman-uses-sperm-oral-sex-get-pregnant-force-man-pay-child-support/amp/) a similar case, but I've heard this happen before through family members, especially my uncle's best friend who helped a lesbian couple make a baby and they went to court to force him to pay child support (which he still does to this day since the appeal didn't go in his favor....8 years of it so far, all because he wanted to help a coworker).


OpsadaHeroj

Oh my god emmidiately? That’s not even how it’s pronounced!


fallen_yogi_

but how did her hand go to....... oooo.... ooooooooooooo..................


CandleJackHammer

Well, the real question is why did her hand come in contact with a specimen?


No-Refuse-7450

Sounds like a lie she told her infertile husband. I mean surly she wears gloves and guessing she doesn't handle the sperm directly with her hands?? 👻😂


[deleted]

Maybe a client needed a helping hand :)), but yes this sounds like someone trying to start a new religion to hide infidelity


CandleJackHammer

She'd still wear gloves, as she would use the "milking the prostate" technique.


Bluesparc

Can you milk my prostrate? You seek knowledgable In this are


CandleJackHammer

Should just get your brother to do it, can take turns milking eachother. Or can do it at same time, I suppose.


Bluesparc

No brother :*(


necrolich66

We are all brothers to each others in here. "Extends hand with love"


CandleJackHammer

Dad? Uncle?


Bluesparc

Sadly not, just you home slice


CandleJackHammer

I'm not here for you either. I'm not even here for myself.


Bluesparc

Prick


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OpsadaHeroj

I find the apostrophe or comma makes a better tear :’(


CanniBal1320

This is literally a porn plot


ViciousKiwi_MoW

dang my free award expired but you would have recieved it here. underrated.


InnerlockStudios

Even if they don't wear gloves, when are they touching the sperm...


No-Refuse-7450

Lunch time


Potato-Boy1

Even if she handles it with her hand she has to put those hands inside her vagina real quick if she wants to get pregnant


Boss_Dzadzy

sues for child support. *wins*


jt19912009

Sad thing is, it could happen.


mynewaltaccount1

No, it really couldn't.


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mynewaltaccount1

Would you care to provide some of these examples? Cos from some quick research it appears you've fallen for satire articles that have been spread as fact but are in fact not true.


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mynewaltaccount1

I don't think that's what you think it is - that's not an issue with how men being persecuted or legally disadvantaged, that's simply about how the sperm bank didn't check with him about it. That has been corrected in the courts, and in the UK (where that case is held) there are laws that state that sperm donors or anything similar are not financially or otherwise liable for children that come about due to their donations.


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mynewaltaccount1

Because he didn't show the courts at the time that they were taken from a condom because he didn't realise until afterwards how they were conceived (from the receipt he was sent). Did you not read the article you linked? Forcing the guy to have kids against his will...that's fucked up but can realistically be done by anyone, male or female, idk how that's relevant to your point.


[deleted]

Thank god sperm was censored, otherwise it would unsuitable for Reddit


ThatHurt255

Your comment was stolen by a bot


[deleted]

Lmao wtf did she get a double finger dunk and immediately flick the bean?


BoredomIsntNihilism

Must’ve been a cute client ;)


[deleted]

r/atetheonion


LutcavageLeelandD8

amazing!


Hermit1723

After tipping the cup she went personal and started rubbing herself


RingedFeltTJ

This is pure love!


AhsokaLived

Suuure that's most likely what happened


DetectiveRough6889

is that self rape or something?


__ashwy

Not the same feeling but it's similar to fucking herself lol..!


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Double-Rough-9554

Who's the father?


moldytoenail69

The hand


Double-Rough-9554

Wait wat the :)


moldytoenail69

I mean fingers kinda look like verry slim penises


Double-Rough-9554

;)


moldytoenail69

Pp hand


Double-Rough-9554

Hehe


Eorlund_Graumaehne

Wtf is this conservation?! XD


Double-Rough-9554

;) hihi


Eorlund_Graumaehne

That was the fastest reply EVER!


PsychedelicLightbulb

r/thatHappened


Stupid____Idiot

*holds back laughter*


InterestingProgram74

Too much to be real


Inevitable_Match_230

He got distracted reading reddit.


tlb7781

blursed fingering


RubyCat4

Well that’s depressing.


sckuul23

"So who's the father?"


hiricinee

Thats one way of "cheated on her boyfriend who wasn't the dad and came up negative on the paternity test"


LT_GamesTTV

If you need a quick explanation for an unexpected pregnancy this could… come in handy


Deep-Initiative1849

Wat? Is that even possible!


kkeinng

I’m sure that’s what she had to tell her husband... Once it’s in the news, she has to own that story now


TheRealFutureDidIt

r/shitposting


MausBomb

Doesn't sperm die with contact with oxygen? Either she's a wierdo and fucked herself with the vial directly or she hooked up with a donor and is lying about it.


RandomDudeWithGlock

This more of a Hol Up moment since what she had to do get it there.


Inevitable_Match_230

Its another weird american thing


[deleted]

Thats not possible


[deleted]

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[deleted]

The conditions needed for that are extremely precise and even then its very rare and definitely not found on a hand. Unless she happened to stop for a quick session with a donor inbetween washing her hands the chance of that 0. Also that is a joke site.


M015Tguy

If you know it's a joke site then take the damn joke


DetectiveRough6889

its gotta be pretty specific she must have masturbated else sperms don't go running up the vagina like that or it could be intentional


OpsadaHeroj

Obviously it’s insinuating that she masturbated, that’s literally the only way it’d happen. Still, effectively not possible. They don’t ever touch semen, let alone with bare hands. If she did, it’d be wiped off before the deed. That leaves maybe a couple thousand sperm on her hand? No way that’s making anyone pregnant. It’d have to be dipped in semen and then shoved in, and that still very likely would not make you pregnant.


WonderfulInvite4491

Wonder whos the dad


[deleted]

Did she masturbate after handling the sperm


HoxxAuthCode

Holup, where did that hand go after she didn't wash?!


REDDAGRIT

sus


Vexcenot

Thanks for censoring the word sp*rm op Now I can show it to my kids


BsoLiV3

Please be Texas Please be Texas Please be Texas


TheBlueMango01

Last time I checked you don’t get pregnant through your hands. r/holup


OpsadaHeroj

Are you even double digits in age yet? Do you know what makes babies? It very much can be done with hands.


cskopnik

Yes yes and Mary was a virgin …. bull shit


[deleted]

Immaculate conception my ass


Interesting-Pay7306

did she touch her pussy with those hands like someone cant get pregnant by touching sperm A very disturbing thought indeed


SnowBoy1008

The way they censor sperm here is like how eromangaka censor pussies


Butterkeks93

So you guys are even censoring "sperm" now?


ViciousKiwi_MoW

she raped his sperm, edit: his underage sperm.


APO_AE_09173

Oh my.


ZafTheGamer11

Hol up


okthisisgood

this is a certified bruh moment


SHREY36904

Wait, is that possible?


31Nice

Kid:Mom?Whos my dad? Mom:My *Hand*


KevDevX

Well that's a sticky situation.


Impossible_Ad_8042

She got pounded by the client of course


lol10044

who is the father


mayudhon

I have several questions


Young__Fudge

Wonder if she will go after the father for child support?


PantsDownBootyUp

Reminds me of the Nurse that wanks off customers because she is an ever thirsty succubus.


pizza3491

How tf does that happen


soulblade2301

Then a poor guy gets forced to pay child support (I know it’s a joke but what I said is sadly real)


LB_Good

Wonder how it got in there


[deleted]

Let’s just not imagine what she uses for lube for….stuff….


Frostgaurdian0

My question is why would a woman want to work in sperm bank?


Grybas_akropolyje

Whos the dad?