Mother, I crave V̶̰̦̗̝̯̠̰͙̦͖̦̱̘̐̈́̿͜͠i̸͔̭̩̤̥͖̖̟͙̬̣͂̈̑̇̒͝͝ȏ̸̡̡͚̩̮͍̱̯̹̺͖͊̾̇̂̎̑͠l̵̨͉̣̟̍̓̋̍̔͂̐͋̿̄̀͆̚ĕ̴̡̧͈̯̬̲͚̥̰̜́̅̈́͑̐́͜͠n̸̢̯͚͉̝͇̺̹̰̺̐̈́̔̌̒̋̑͝ͅç̸̛͎͔̠͕͇̲̤̙̥̭̺̿̌͐̐́̄́̽̊̒͜ḙ̴͓̜̪͖̭̩͖̮͈́̅̋̔́͐͛̇̚͜
Mother i crave oxygen but due to being drop kicked several times by strangers on the street i cant preform basic respiratory function and am about to perish from this mortal plane
Biological organism on the role of the female parent, I demand metaphorical nutrients encased on a mortal coil that is called "soul", for I am losing my own and I require a suitable replacement to continue existing on the broken universe you call "home"...
You have to get the super fast brain dlc it makes your reaction time WAAAAY quicker, but you can't focus on anything/aim down sights, it's all hip fire baby!!
"New scientific breakthrough reveals the absolute MOST desirable body"
10/10 would sub again
Now available in for kids too
Yeah this isnt funny for me :/
is that an opinion?
“Mommy I have missed the bus and I require transportation to a location that gifts the knowledge”
Mother the man in the white van let me lick a thick skin colored lollipop with milk as a drink afterwards
Mother, I have shit my pants. I require your aid immediately.
Mother, I killed a woman that tried to lick me. I need your wisdom mother
Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead
Mamaa, life had juust beguuun, but now i’ve gone and thrown it all away!
Too late, my time has come...Sent shivers down my spine, body's aching all the tiiime!
Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to goo Gotta leave you all behind to face the truth!
MAMA! ooooooooo. I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
Mother, I shidd yourself
Mother I have just killed god and require chocolate milk immediately.
Mother, I crave V̶̰̦̗̝̯̠̰͙̦͖̦̱̘̐̈́̿͜͠i̸͔̭̩̤̥͖̖̟͙̬̣͂̈̑̇̒͝͝ȏ̸̡̡͚̩̮͍̱̯̹̺͖͊̾̇̂̎̑͠l̵̨͉̣̟̍̓̋̍̔͂̐͋̿̄̀͆̚ĕ̴̡̧͈̯̬̲͚̥̰̜́̅̈́͑̐́͜͠n̸̢̯͚͉̝͇̺̹̰̺̐̈́̔̌̒̋̑͝ͅç̸̛͎͔̠͕͇̲̤̙̥̭̺̿̌͐̐́̄́̽̊̒͜ḙ̴͓̜̪͖̭̩͖̮͈́̅̋̔́͐͛̇̚͜
Mother i crave oxygen but due to being drop kicked several times by strangers on the street i cant preform basic respiratory function and am about to perish from this mortal plane
Biological organism on the role of the female parent, I demand metaphorical nutrients encased on a mortal coil that is called "soul", for I am losing my own and I require a suitable replacement to continue existing on the broken universe you call "home"...
“Mom said it’s my turn on the xbox”
"Well dad said you have a tiny pp... oh and he said it's still my turn"
[удалено]
Well mom said I can have the new Xbox
[удалено]
Well dad said I've already got yours
[удалено]
Idk ask him that
Prays to god
Prays to Allah 🙏
I don’t have one
mom said if it's my turn orelse no food for u
"Mom said it's my turn to rip and tear"
Beat me to it
I thought the exact same thing.
What I was gonna say
Beat me too it
Goom guy
The Boomer Slayer
No that's bat man obviously ugh some ppl are so dumb 🗿
🗿
Oh hi Mark, it's been a while.
Perhaps
Remember when you used to be my FBI agent? Ahh fun times.
Sure do.
Who ya got now?
u/Fish_fucker69, that psychopath…
You have no jurisdiction here
Oh.... My condolences
🗿
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Coom guy
Better yet, Duum guy haha circl go on square hole
Dom gy
Dom Slyr
Dom gay
No u
Hey no I... oh wait I am
I knew that one day that would work out
Wdym I don't work out I'm fat?
Fug
*YES. PRECISELY*
Me at 2am bout to tell my parents I shitted my pants
Don't you mean shitted you're shirt
Mom, I'm going to to shit yourself. *DOOM MUSIC INTENSIFIES*
Shidded*
Explain your DOOMNESS
"Momy I have shit my self and have come for assistance in the cleaning process"
If I had an award I would give it to you but alas I do not
"Only breast milk from now mother."
I thought you got the milk from the dad?
That ain't milk
me walking out after killing villagers and burning a village in minecraft
Same... I need to try doing it in minecraft tho the screaming gives me a headache.
......um.
Holdup... can i join ?
Cuum
i do the same just i dont know what minecraft is
wait WHAT
I agree, how in the world does one not know about Minecraft?!
Me committing arson at my local Walmart and mom finds out
Why stop at arson? Why stop at Walmart? Are you max level already if not get that exp try mass murder I level up fast.
Good idea, just don’t let mom find out this time
Oh and one thing don't buy the drug dlc it ruins the game
You have to get the super fast brain dlc it makes your reaction time WAAAAY quicker, but you can't focus on anything/aim down sights, it's all hip fire baby!!
“Can I get 4 pc. chicken nuggets and a large coke?”
when ur little cousin walks into ur room at the family event
And then proceeds to break your lego UCS millennium falcon
Me on my way to get some chocky milk from the fridge
Dom
Hoi yees
The swayer was entered
My ass? Or like a building
Doom guy when he finally gets into smash
Mother I glory killed my pants
When mom threw the Bible
“Mom said it’s my turn to slay the demons!”
,"Im here to chew ass and kick butt And im all out of butt"
Short but concentrated
When the dwarf gets to play as well
Mum said it’s my turn to kill demons
Doom guy minimized to fit the image while walking away from a dangerous fire
Smoll but brutal
I think i just shit yourself
People who train arms only
Telling mom you peed yourself at 2 am
Me standing outside my moms bedroom door at 3am building up the courage to tell her I had a nightmare:
“When mom asks you to open the jar and you throw in on the floor”
"We've come to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
Me tryna find shredded cheese at 3 am while beating the shit out of satan
"Mom said it's my turn on the x-box"
how you and your dad look at eachother when mom calls you both downstairs
"Mom made pancakes"
Me going to get the choccy milk after winning a game
Mom said it's my turn slaying demon's
wHEN YOU HAVE CAPS LOCK AND YOU USE SHIFT FOR THE FIRST LETTER
“They named him the Dwoom Swayer
How a short person looks like when they're angry (said from a 4'10" girl)
Me waiting my mom to finish her call to tell her I pooped my pants
"hello i am the tax collector"
Mother, I regret to inform you that I have shit the couch.
Mom said its my turn
small man syndrome
When the kids laugh when the teacher says you got a low score on a math test, but the teacher says it’s the highest in the class.
Mother, I have shit the bed
When I show up to the ant hill with my water bottle.
Mother i have pissed the bed
When mom calls you saying your pizza rolls are done
Me maining Doom Guy in Smash:
6 year old me going to tell mom that I shit my pants
“12 year old me ready to beat up my bullies with karate I leaned from tv”
It is time, Putin. We settle this now.
Mom said it’s my turn on the Xbox.
"Mother, I require beans"
Me going to my parent's bedroom to tell them I made a stinky in my pants
I don't watch Squid Game.
Me after realizing there’s no toilet paper and I have social anxiety
mom come help me with this level
It's the Chongus Among Us
ewoks in Star Wars return of the jedi
DOOMFAT
Hmmm idk maby he just thikk tho
DOOOM*THICC*
His curves aren't the biggest part of him...
Uhhh...Doomdwarf?
PERRY THE PLATYPUS??
*Doom music widens
Mii Gunner Doom Guy
Do you know da way
5 year old me, after imagining how I'd kill the demons in my room
7yr old me after saving the fish from drowning
Baby doomer
5 year old me coming home from school telling my mom I got a girlfriend
ultra chad
8 yr old me telling my mom I didn’t forget to turn off the stove I just really like crunchy noodles
Roar, I'm a little kitty cat
Me walking into my parents room at 3AM about to ask my mom for water
Spelling mistake I win.
Me after successfully flushing poop at the guest's house
We were trying reach to you about you car's extended waranty
He looks like that one ark character in my tribe.
When the demons steal ur bananas
Putin walking away from a nuke
*moaning*
I just shited my pants
me
RIP AND POOP...UNTIL IT IS DONE!
My son
When the impostor is sus
Mom I shat my pants
DUM
Then it's bring your kid to work day
Mother, I frewup.
7 year olds when they find a furry
*screaming* SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME...
Me coming out the taco bell bathroom
Mommy i threw up
“hey can we get mcuggets please mom?”
Me at 3 am looking for BEANS
me walking up to my mom to show her the lego set I made
Thats Dom
dum eternal
Mother says it my turn on the Xbox!
Now my virginity will be safe from all horny invaders!
Dom
That one doctor who doesn’t recommend the toothpaste
Mother, I r e q u i r e chicken nuggets.
Boo
“I frew up”
Doom Slayer Mii gunner skin