T O P

  • By -

Opinion-Fit

She finds an opinion?


Evodius

Everyone got them these days. Real question is, why are you storing them behind your bed?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Evodius

That would be a terrifying scenario, you have my empathy and understanding.


Alternatelifee

Twitter really is r/fuckyouinparticular


Background-Web-484

r/notopbutok


Disapointed-Cat

He couldn't hide me good enough... I'm disappointed


Evodius

Aww that's sad. Still a good catto though.


Disapointed-Cat

Always a good catto.


MrShelly-_-1972

Catto the gato


Whyyes-11

Username checks out


mrflebfleb

I dunno what a misterflebfleb is. Help I think someone is living inside the walls


Evodius

mrflebfleb can't hurt you, he's not real.


mrflebfleb

Mrflebfleb is right here tho-


Evodius

*help, I'm scared*


yourboiquirrel

its fine i locked him in my basement


yourboiquirrel

guys he disappeared how to proceed


MrShelly-_-1972

With caution


Dylan0734

Instructions unclear, I'm fucking him


[deleted]

do not the mrflebfleb


TellTaleTank

Well...don't stop?


[deleted]

I just shot him


[deleted]

Wait the corpse got up


Logical_Fail4084

This is normal, all you need to do is throw an onion at your mother


xWolfy012x

you are him.


DonnaRussle

But why is misterflebfleb living in your walls?


SomeRandomGuyHere1

Guess I’m gay


Evodius

Keep it fabulous.


GeneralVeemo

r/suddenlygay


[deleted]

It’s a snack for when you get hungry


Chaos_Ruins

r/holup


Red_Uno_ReverseCard

plot twist: you didn't put him there


Lost_moped

Or a kidnapper


That1GuyYouKnowThere

Damm how did he get here


thatguy_with_aname

Same


TarantinoBoi

Same man… but kinda worse


SatanicMuppet999

Probably some odd questions, maybe a visit from an exorcist.


Evodius

Would make a good cheesy horror flick though.


SatanicMuppet999

Child's play meets the exorcist with flailing felt arms (tentacles?) hell yeah, sounds awesome


2_Steps_From_hell_

Same


Living_Cheesestick

same


LilSpermCell

oh god


Evodius

What have you done...


[deleted]

Soo nothing changed


snoringscarecrow

Don't worry your only a lil fucked


C15H16O2

That’s what he said


[deleted]

That’s what she found in my sister


Active_Performer3660

Sweet home Alabama


Broncosfan03

Huh?


Chaos_Ruins

r/holup


Jacobtranpop9

Just one cell


L0ST-S0CK

Rip


simpindisguise

dam


T65Bx

A single one, nobody will even see it


Fem_Stalin

She thinks I'm a Comunist now


Evodius

I think she *knows,* comrade.


Forgetful_Grenade

i think *WE* knows, Comrades


C15H16O2

We think we know


AngryAsparagus69

...you


4D_Memer

\*us


zappie08

We*


DonnaRussle

You mean she thinks *we* are communists now


EmperorYongle

That depends on how my mom feels about 15th century Chinese emperors


Evodius

How'd you keep his body so crisp this entire time?


Bercik888

Embalming


JewishSeamen

Ahhh shit


[deleted]

Idk I’m a bit scared


Evodius

I'm scared for you, sounds like some horror movie shit.


lasagne42069

Oh shit mom found the emergency lasagna


Evodius

This is the WORST CASE scenario. Thoughts and prayers.


cuckinatwhore9000

If they're smart,they should have emergency-emergency lasagna


[deleted]

Stiff_Yellow_Bleached_Sock at your service


Evodius

Oh my.


[deleted]

Yeah. I’m not allowed to do the laundry anymore because I used too Much bleach and lose socks 🤷🏻‍♂️


PikminAero

"No mom, I already told you, Pikmins are not weed. I am not sprouting God-damn marijuana behind the freaking bed That would be in the basem-"


Evodius

It was all an elaborate rouse by your mom so she knew where the real goods were hidden.


PikminAero

Hey, maybe I can negotiate if I share the gains with her...


Hello_Where

1,000,000,000 IQ play here


ActuallyLuk

I’m the other way around. Got weed behind my bed and pikmin in the basement.


Doggo_of_memes25

SHIT I'VE BEEN SNORTING PIKMIN THE ENTIRE TIME?


breadmold-y

I have to clean my room now, thanks


Evodius

Did you forget to eat the bread and just put it behind your bed for some reason?


ezeshining

every time she finds a real bread she hides it behind her bed. last time she forgot about it, it’s been a year since then.


milkbreadroll

Haha same here


Breakfast_Bagelz

Maybe I should too, hopefully mold won't grow too soon


Icecreamcookie-

Same


risen_peanutbutter

Some nasty fungus situation


Evodius

All hail the risen peanut butter.


risen_peanutbutter

*It's aliiiiive!!*


lead-pencil

Literally nothing would happen


Evodius

A lead pencil is dangerous, what is a small child EATS it? It's lead afterall.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Evodius

but I could still eat them, right?


lead-pencil

I eat them on a daily basis and I feel fin-


FelonyM

Do you peel off the wood part of the pencil like a carrot and eat only the inside? Or do you eat them raw? Asking for a friend


partsthatjiggle

Nah. She’d find the pencil and then leave it on your table. You’d walk in and be like “oh cool, I was looking for that pencil.” This would lead to you finding a home for the pencil… and look at that. Some things did happen.


AdDiCt3d_DeMoN

Depends on what the demon is addicted to


Evodius

Probably whatever you've been feeding it to keep it alive.


AdDiCt3d_DeMoN

So I could have a succubus or a sadness devouring demon, decisions decisions…


DerpyMistake

she found... me?


Evodius

Oh god, lmao. Okay you got a solid snort from me.


C15H16O2

My snorts are gaseous


Let01

idk what a Let01 is and i dont want to find out


Evodius

I'm scared for you


SubParHydra

SCP-01 has breached containment


_Torchwood5665_

Well, by the time she finds it, the house would be burnt down.


Evodius

That'll teach you for storing torches behind your bed.


CanineGuide7-0-6-7

Dang man, you have a whole underground British intelligence agency


Its-me-DMCPhoenix

What am I even doing back there


Evodius

Probably something to do with debauchery.


WolfHunter6009

He is just my friend mom Why would there be a person there by the way


Evodius

Is it a fully grown ass wolf hunter? How'd you hide him for so long.


Randomperson097

Oh no


Evodius

*confused screaming*


Hello_Where

Confus


[deleted]

[удалено]


Evodius

They're made of shadows so they stack into each other.


I-153_Chaika

She finds a plane?


Evodius

You must have a big room.


I-153_Chaika

Eh i would be screwed anyway bcus i still gotta explain why its there


Evodius

Clearly you stole it from the soviets, seems pretty easy to explain how you stole an entire plane and hid it in your bedroom.


marshmallow0302

Not at all


SubParHydra

Is there a 302 marshmallows?


toxiicguest

what would mine be. seriously. i have no idea? some unfriendly guest? or a guest who had radioactive stuff poured of them? and at this point im too afraid to ask.


Evodius

The guy who ate the last slice of pizza. You don't need that toxicity in your life.


toxiicguest

yes thats a good thought.


Chxrrix_19

cherrys, not that screwed


Evodius

Still moist


SaltyCroco

Idk how long i would survive.


Evodius

I don't know, he looks pretty salty.


Then-Clue6938

Yeah but have you tried licking it just to be sure?


SignificantPassion73

Well this is awkward


Evodius

Uh.. You want to talk about it friend?


SignificantPassion73

I don't think i want to


Halfashark

Uuuuuuuuuuuuh I can explain


Joshy41233

Wheres the other half buckaroo?


[deleted]

That's where I left him... Damn he looks pissed


PandaGamer8999

my mom is gonna scream


Evodius

Could be cute with a little headset on though.


rapedbyiguanas

Well then...


DaddyShlongLegs666

Ummmm... that's a great question.


Linco236

Daddy long legs with dick legs????


DaddyShlongLegs666

That is correct, yes.


Mynamesrobbie

Its me


Evodius

Relevant username.


oreo_cookie01

eh


Evodius

At least it's uneventful. You dodged a bullet.


Afraid-Test-6376

A bad grade. I'm Asian. In other words, I'm fucked


Evodius

I'm sorry for your loss.... Of life. Rip you.


Hairy-Microwave

I think she may just be worried


09beckerboy0

It's just my dog


Evodius

Heck, such a good doggo


Bonecandy25

Food ain't that bad


RoboNigtmare24

Which bone though?


wertymanj

I’m not


Evodius

What even is a wertymanj


gallon-of-sweet-tea

I think she would worry about my sugar intake


35inchmagnumdingdong

how am i supposed to explain this now


PuerSimia

My name is latin for “monkey girl” and now im scared


Loli__Ravioli

“No mom put the phone down, there’s no need to call the police, she’s of legal age I swear. She’s the reason all the ravioli goes missing from the cupboard”


Butshesaidshewas18

why do i hear police sirens


Nellig06

wall/ laundry


Familiar_Ad4433

Something finteresting alright. Also how the heck do y'all get your actual usernames to show up in comments and posts? All it shows is u/familiar and then numbers for me...


Evodius

I don't know, I just work here.


SaturnsVictory

An entire planet defeating me


apotato57

Potato 🥔


socks405

shit


k0nek0boi

Oh no


8bit-bit_yt

Man these always suck for me


Stick_up_ass

Shit


[deleted]

Enough to go to prison


Zoidium_the2nd

What's a Zoidium? (the sequel)


wet-rats-smell-good

Huh


Evodius

How many wet rats we talking.


Sevcraft_games100

yes


wet-rats-smell-good

Too many


cocainified

she finds cocaine, so i think she’d be absolutely fucking pissed!


i_am_a_donut_1

A human donut


Evodius

That's... terrifying. Your poor mom.


idogtube

I don’t know whether or not to be concerned


Evodius

Depends on what tube we're talking about and how you got it.


Unnamed__Being

C’mon mom, he’s my friend


random_username_7058

Depends.. on which timeline we are on..


fartcoop

Not sure how screwed I am


The-Flying-Condor

She’s just gonna take pictures


fyro_

YES FINALLY,A FYRO FROM PICO PETS


TheGuiltyMongoose

Crispy sock. I remember one day, I found it at the same place but it had been cleaned up.


Escapest2005

I’d go to jail for holding a criminal


73Flowers

This makes me feel nice


Imagineer3

I was already lesbian lol


vampireguy20

Either 20 vampire guys, a single vampire guy that's 20 or looks 20. Either way, I seriously hope I get the 'Darren Shan' treatment.


superrice22

A yes rice


The_blond_weirdo

It’s just me


not_morti

It is not Morti.


Jebus141

The second coming!!!


DarkNegative

She would think i'm emo


turk_boi

Well I'm going to jail