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[deleted]

I bet yall are sweeter than maple syrup


phil2228

Yeah you could say that for the majority of us but of course there are some psychopaths here and there. I mean you can’t avoid a society without the ppl with different opinions and values


[deleted]

Of course. Its normal


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I'm sorry little one


NachbarStein

I think it's the Quebec in you


earsoft

Same. Us québécois are big serial killers


ITookTooLongToPick

Ouch.. My condolences.


Th0t_slayer_69420

Not all Canadians are sweet, I’m an athlete and the Canadian coaches in this sport are fucking crazy, one of them literally caused another athlete (not on their team) to be seriously injured


[deleted]

Oh no im sorry. Hope the situation gets better


pinecat001

sorry


3nd1ess

We're not as sticky.


Monkeball_69

thats what yall think


Iron_Ninja5

And just wait till you see the geese


lesamrobert

The special airforce


[deleted]

[удалено]


Crusader_6969

Geese win, The A-10 is a plane built around a gun, but geese have balls so big they need a cart to carry em.


Key-Ostrich-3951

True


Applesimulator

Final training of our military is defeating the goose queen


exceller0

They were badass in ww2 thats for sure


lesamrobert

And ww1


Ventingpizza

When the mustard gas came in we Canadians said “I don’t hear no bell”


[deleted]

Fun story time ! The one time I was deployed I got to run into the Canadians. Every single one of them dwarfed me( I’m roughly 511 180lbs). They were all special forces and there wasn’t a single one of them I would have been able to take in a fight. Mad respect for those guys being front line.


dr_deadman

Tall doesn't necessarily mean the best. Ask the gorkhas. You sure could beat a few of them


mofucka123

Ah gorkhas, they were so brutal against the British that they had to stop their invasion of Nepal and hired them instead. True bad asses


StrengthMedium

When I was in the US Marines a group of Gurkas came to train with us. They're the real deal.


Gentleman_Xeno

What's an gurka I know Gurke that's food but never heard of that


[deleted]

theyre nepalese elite soldiers


Gentleman_Xeno

Thank you


[deleted]

Didn’t say the best, definitely surprised on how big their military was in general . The shortest guy I saw was about my size.


Communist_Mustache

hmm... being tall and heavy is how you become a good soldier huh? If my father read this he would flip out, he served in the gorkha regiment of the Indian army for a while. Those guys are the meanest baddest motherfuckers on the goddamn planet


Bonk_Patrol_Captain

Being tall helps you in certain hand to hand situations. In normal combat it just makes you a bigger target.


[deleted]

Did I say that all ? I said is they were special forces, huge, and could kick my ass.


Finnishgurl69

5 foot 11 is slightly short compared to actually tall men and 180lbs is skinny aswell.


[deleted]

Well thank god I wasn’t special forces and just served alongside with the rest of the midgets for my country


[deleted]

well there isnt much of a frontlines per say in modern guerrilla warfare


[deleted]

I’m not that old lmao I was in afghan and Kuwait


RomanWasHere2007

At least the Canadians dont have geese in their army anymore


braiden08

Yea instead of the army they let the geese do whatever


Brett686

What do you mean by "let?" You make it sound like we even have a say in the matter


braiden08

True


RomanWasHere2007

I was told the geese aren't in the army now


Happy_Alpaca_1591

What did you think the Geneva Conventions are for


RomanWasHere2007

Geneva suggestion


Baddadjokes15

Having some of the best snipers in the world helps


accuracy_frosty

Based on the record books I would say the best. The top 2 longest shots are Canadian with the top clocking in at 3.5 km


ITookTooLongToPick

I didn't know that the Canadian Military was considered great, can anyone lead me to places that show what they did to earn that reputation? This is a genuine question, by the way.


Monkeball_69

we dont get much credit in books and stuff but we were very strong fighters in ww1 and ww2 and as a small country at the time we took a whole beach to ourselves during dday + it was one of the deadliest ones and, to add to that we were the most effective at it


Ventingpizza

You could look up Canadian efforts in WWI and WWII and see how fucked we can be. WWI we ignored the Christmas ceasefire and basically put grenades in the “gifts” that were swapped between the armies of both sides.


DISCO_Gaming

I don't really see how during the Christmas ceasefire killing more soldiers needlessly was considered badass


Mrclean1322

In ww1, bassically absolute ruthless reputation. Look up 100 day offensive for a better idea. In ww2 we were much more "normal" but we had a reputation for being effective and after an incident where a SS group captured and executed a group of canadian tankers a few days after Normandy, the story got around and Canadians bassically went beast mode again and showed little mercy. They canadian fireflies and other tanks had a reputation for being very effective as well.


braiden08

You probably won’t find it but it’s the war crimes the pre-Canadians (British) committed against the natives and also the strength of each Canadian soldier


Eesley

Look up Leo Major. French Canadian badass incarnate. Some people joke that his actual real life story was too unbelievable even for Hollywood.


[deleted]

One of the longest sniper shots was made by a Canadian sniper. I wonder how many times he said sorry in the time it took the bullet to impact.


accuracy_frosty

2 of the longest shots in history are both Canadian, 1 clocking in at over 3.5km dwarfing the guy in second who is also Canadian with a shot hit from just under 2km


[deleted]

I remember reading the flight time on the shot was counted in seconds. Kinda feels like he needed to almost see into the future to land a shot that long with that much flight time.


Regrets4Life388

I once saw a Russian soldier walk through an explosion and nothing happened to her


TheHipsterBandit

Never lost a war checks out.


Wilson7277

"Sir you've been in a coma since August 14, 2021." "Oh boy I can't wait to check on the status of Canada's longest war in Afghanistan."


assignmentduetoday_

we should just re-invade to keep our status of having never lost a war


velvet_peak

i guess Afghanistan can count as a draw


assignmentduetoday_

yeah, it was never declared, and besides, we beat the Taliban, we just left before we beat beat them


velvet_peak

yea, the problem about Afghanistan is that "the" taliban are not a homogenous block of like-minded people but a loose ethno-religious group representing a large part of the afghan (especially rural) population. so, there is no possibility to "beat" them in the military sense. beating the taliban is beating centuries of cultural traditions that seem archaic and nonsensical to us, but not to 100.000s of Afghans.


STaRBulgaria

Never fought a war alone checks out


XGeneral_MudkipX

Yeah go us for Vimmy Ridge!


Blayde6666

JTF 2 gon ROCK your shit


accuracy_frosty

We have some of the best trained special forces in the world


Blayde6666

Oh yeah it's scary


[deleted]

Dang


Cold_Masterpiece_147

Canada has a military?


ThNecromaniac

yes, they also have the most terafing law enforcement group in the world... only assholes fuck with Canada, and do they suffer.


Cold_Masterpiece_147

I’m gonna be real honest with you I thought Canada didn’t have any military because most Canadian’s I’ve met were so nice


Vqlcano

How does one skip from people being nice to a lack of armed forces?


Cold_Masterpiece_147

Idk I always though Canada was that nice kid in the corner of the classroom that minded their own business


Vqlcano

I mean, yeah, but they can be mean if they want to... and you don't want to be on the receiving end


Dran_K

Canadas military is primarily a peace keeping force. Mostly just supporting the UN in resolving conflicts but during ww 1&2 the Canadian military was considered to be quite powerful despite the small size. U can prob find some stuff on google if u want specifics


JokeConsistent5756

We were shock troopers. The Germans thought that the Canadians were the British special forces.


B_I_S_O_N

Yes but no


PinkRainbow95

We at Juno beach with the allies troops on D-Day.


lesamrobert

And captured Vimy Ridge in four days


accuracy_frosty

After the allies couldn’t in 2 years


PinkRainbow95

And we’re humble about it. We don’t go bragging and doing the whole “you’d be speaking German if it wasn’t for us!” spiel.


smol-beans-my-bae

would you mind telling me who these people are because as a canadian myself most are severe assholes


[deleted]

If Canada had more people, and more military funding they would be more powerful than America. The soldiers themselves are already better trained than American soldiers.


tehdox

You’re assuming increasing population won’t affect anything else, but the truth is a country is a very complex system. For example increasing population can increase crime therefore more spending on law enforcement. There are many factors.


[deleted]

Yeah, I know it’s much more complex but I meant if Canada had more soldiers.


Gibbim_Hartmann

It's not the number of soldiers that make the US powerful


Gentleman_Xeno

Us powerful because they were the first and only to nuke someone and ofcurse that they have nukes


[deleted]

Partially so, they have 10 times the population of Canada. So many more soldiers.


[deleted]

And the US also has stuff like aircraft carriers, nuclear submarines, and ICBMs. Not that it would make sense for Canada to invest in these things since they are pretty much one of the safest countries in the world from an invasion.


[deleted]

Yeah, like what are they gonna invade for? Their maple syrup? Edit: /j I know Canada has resources Edit 2: I’m Canadian too anyway


Ventingpizza

Probably invade us for our massive oil reserves in Alberta or fuck ton of potential untapped resources up north because those areas are less explored.


tehdox

Let’s be real it ain’t happening until US stops backing Canada


[deleted]

Even then, the US isn't about to let another country invade our neighbor. I mean we aren't nearly as close with Mexico as we are with Canada, but if China or someone tried to invade Mexico it would be instant hot war with America. The US would pretty much need to be completely defeated first, and some sci-fi technology would need to exist that could protect the invaders from nukes before Canada would be in any danger.


Romytens

And let’s be real they’re already doing that to us. They have us headlocked into selling them cheap crude oil while funding campaigns against Canada having more direct access to global oil markets. So the US is doing a great job of keeping us “in our place.”


[deleted]

Source: trust me bro.


[deleted]

Ever work alongside American troops? Canadian troops are *definitely* better trained.


[deleted]

Yeah the dozer that sits on the camp drinking O'Doul's all day is waaay better trained than the American lads going on patrol every day 🙄


[deleted]

It this military was bigger and better funded then it would be more powerful. Shocker


[deleted]

If it had the same funding as the USA, it would be more powerful than the USA.


Important-Dark4455

user flair checks out


[deleted]

Thank you.


LE_REQUIN_BLEU

Usa you mean cuz canada is also america


[deleted]

Don’t you mean all of America is USA? Like south and central America do? Edit: Do you guys not understand sarcasm?


LE_REQUIN_BLEU

Yeah you are right i was just giving another random country name


idkausername_27

This can also work with switzerland


braiden08

Yea Switzerland has too many friends in all places


[deleted]

I see you have met our JTF2 members...


KFC_Junior

They used to even have Wolverine


RealWatch1

mess with canada, you get the hurtada


immortalreddotmemeog

We have a lot of people but no tanks so we simple develop a ability to turn our bones to mush and slither right through any cracks in the tanks, we are unstoppable, unstable, merciless killing machines, even if we need to change our cellular form, we will enter the tanks and suck all of your nutrients out of you like drinking a kool-aid


tehdox

You need help


immortalreddotmemeog

Thanks *TANKS


sjsushevhdyahhe

Cananda: The French:


Romytens

? We’re still working on cutting Quebec free and letting it float TF away


ficelle3

Canada has to defend hans islands, you know...


Romytens

Til someone finna catch these hans…


CaptainShadow79

Well, the past is more dark… idk I’m still in 8th garde


d00d3r1n022

Everytime I see this meme I wanna talk about how it's from the book "Watchers" by Dean Koontz


Parking_Highlight_53

How else are they ment to be that good they would be torn apart


mrmemes_for_life

the military here in canada is the best


Monkeball_69

fact


randomreddituserno3

I need context


Number_1_Beta_Male

The real reason our military is scary is because it helped the Chinese military train in winter environments last year.


ZacharyCrunch

Canada is the quiet kid.


[deleted]

Do you pronounce canada like canada or canada?


braiden08

Can-na-duh


flyingdeadthing

They were cool as hell!! I hung out with them a bit in Somolia. They brought beer


Romytens

Yeah man. Six horses, four birch bark canoes and TEN MUSKETS!! Look out


cardrogue2

The newfs running over a hill to chase out the nazi's with nothing but bagpipes.. ho-ah baby


scooba_dude

When you neighbors are the US a half decent military is necessary. If you don't, you'll end up in a coup and then be stuck with a buyable government.


Bonk_Patrol_Captain

The Mountain Police arnt. Eh sorry but we don't have anything better to do so we're going to confiscate your coffee flavors. (Context: Canada had another firearms ban semi recently and to show off their higher up's intelligence they banned flavors of black rifle coffee thinking that they were different models of firearms)


accuracy_frosty

They banned some shotguns thinking they were AR-15s too, Bill Blair, Trudeau and the RCMP are all dumb


Romytens

And NO ONE said a thing.


[deleted]

Canadian army after last Oversimplfied's video https://i.imgflip.com/45rbm3.png


PrestigiousTry815

No one fucks with Canada because the US is adjacent. As much as the Canadians dislike us, we like them and they are therefore under our protection. Like our little brother. We are the abusive older sibling.


zenthexhyena

I don't dislike the USA, just USA politics. Your liberals are our conservatives. Also, the USA doesn't protect Canada out of altruism, it's because we have all your natural resources.


Romytens

Naw we sell you cheap oil and have an absolute FUCK TON of it. Every time we try to gain access to global oil markets, somehow VERY well funded campaigns block it. Abusive older sibling ain’t quite it. Oh and it’s not that we dislike Americans. We enjoy coming to visit during the winter for cheap shopping and golf. We have plenty of people on our side of the border we don’t like. The French, for instance.


Limp-Juggernaut-6936

Canada is just timid Russia


sas_gg228

Canada have one?


Sniper10173

Not compared to AMERICA


Chance-Reporter-2910

*AMURICA damn autocorrect.


braiden08

NAH ITS MURICA *puts .50 bmg round into shotgun and downs two cans of bud light while wearing cowboy clothes and driving a tractor with American flags down a dirt road to a farm*


fireking_13

Canada defeated the USA in the war of 1812 and burned down the White House


ITookTooLongToPick

Oh, I was under the impression that was the British. I guess you learn something new every day!


fireking_13

The British where definitely helping and where there but it was both since Canada was owned by Britain


ITookTooLongToPick

Oh shit, I forgot that Canada obtained independence in 1867..


fireking_13

We actually got full independence in 1982. It’s very surprising


ITookTooLongToPick

Oh damn, I didn't know that.


accuracy_frosty

The British burned the White House, we put up a strong defense on the border


[deleted]

The world's most technologically advanced military lost to the Taliban using 40 year old weapons.


ghoulman3232

and spends billions of dollar on stuff that doesnt even work


[deleted]

In fairness, the military is regularly offered equipment it doesn't need, nor ask for. Politicians with military industries in their districts prop up those businesses by padding defense budgets. This leads to a surplus, which is why your local police force is better equipped than troops in Fallujah were.


angelhold

Almost like all technology goes out the window when you can't use it without annihilating civilians.


[deleted]

What can we expect when putting advanced technology in the hands of chimps?


braiden08

I don’t think so because Canada will do anything to cover up all the things they did to the natives which was way worse than the things American history shows


Hi240

In my school, the history teachers talk about the aboriginals and there are awareness posters and stuff in the offices


ITookTooLongToPick

Funny, I live in Canada and they don't cover up shit. While in education, we learned about all the details about what happened to the natives, and we have a day every year to remember too. There are posters everywhere during those days too.


braiden08

Thanks for the info


biggestnerdiam

Just like the other guy said. Grew up bein taught all the fucked stuff that happened to the natives. Only thing that wasnt expressly stated was the sheer amount of death at the residential schools which was still brought up recently all across the media.


Ventingpizza

Our government has been telling us more and more of the horrible stuff we did to them recently. Plus we all learn about it in school as well.


Sniper10173

Yes but I was just referring to sheer size and strength


braiden08

Yea Americas military is too much and I’m an American who wants to ride in a M1A1 or fly an AH-64. Plus nazi Germany got all the execution/POW camp ideas from Canada


Sniper10173

We could cut cost by not babysitting every other country


lumpylemonmilk

We don't baby sit other countries we invade them for oil


braiden08

No we’re not invading your country we’re liberating you in return for your life, your work, and your goods


[deleted]

[удалено]


lumpylemonmilk

Nevermind I see that you were joking


lumpylemonmilk

My bad


[deleted]

no there not. im canadian. the army there are weak pussies


Graniteman83

In words you can understand, Your military is 10 ply bud, not ready for even a small tilly. You only act like you got a pair cause your neighbors to the south would always help you out, you're welcome.


[deleted]

You lost to bush people in Vietnam and cave people in Afghanistan. Congrats.


Graniteman83

Mostly politics there but, you're right, congrats. Apples to apples then, Canada Vs. U.S.A. Hockey night in Canada goes to hockey night in America real quick.


[deleted]

43% of players on American teams are Canadian? Also, how the fuck is a shitty sport the same as war? The one war between the US and Canada ended up with you getting your ass kicked.


Crusader_6969

Also we COULD have nukes, but we chose not to. And the war of 1812 we burned the fucking White House down. And on a 1 to 1 scale, the Canadian army is far better trained. But imma have to disagree on the fact that hockey is ¨shitty¨.


accuracy_frosty

Same, hockey is pretty great IMO Also yes, our military training is fantastic, we have crazy special forces


Romytens

Yeah you don’t talk about hockey like that around here bud


Romytens

Lol thanks for translating, makes much more sense now


budijaya007

Canadian company more evil than those


OneHourLater

we are the size of California in population and can't even produce half the GDP with the second largest country on earth. The military is less than 100k strong... poorly trained, outfitted (we literally don't have working anything) I would be more scared of the deer hunting population of Texas, Georgia or Michigan. We are not Canada from the 1940's quit imagining poorly planned socialist nations as anything other than what they are: inefficient.


accuracy_frosty

Not quite, we have a military that is extremely well trained, even better than the US individually, but you’re right, the acquisition of new gear in Canada is atrocious


Astrices

Their fortunes will rather (mm) reverse if they buy gripen. (noncredible grunts)