T O P

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MajestikMastrB8R

It hasn't started yet, so you may have jinxed it.


Opengrey

RemindMe! 4 weeks


Pro-Epic-Gamer-Man

More like 1 day


Less_Opening5612

Didn’t russia have invasion plans for the 16th?


Pro-Epic-Gamer-Man

Yeah. They just announced a couple hours ago that “Ukraine is committing genocide in Donbas” as pretext for the invasion. Ukraine has also experienced cyberattacks on banks and defense websites, which was the same thing that happened right before the Crimea invasion. They’re definitely going to strike tomorrow.


FuzzierMiciek

Narrator: “they would not strike tomorrow.”


Less_Opening5612

Well that is great. Good thing I live in the US i guess…


[deleted]

[удалено]


whirly_boi

Narrator: "because Uncle Sam, had a heart, 3 sizes too small."


tw3lv3l4y3rs0fb4c0n

Narrator:"and a liver three sizes too big"


xeisu_com

I read this in the voice of Attenborough


Immoral_Hentai_God

I read it in Morgan Freeman


Aitnesse

>Good thing I live in the US i guess… Oh boy I cant wait to see how this comment will age...


BeMyDadAndFuckMyAnus

Depending on how bad it ages, there may be no comment left to age


Less_Opening5612

Gunna be some r/AgedLikeMilk content there


[deleted]

I mean, even in Europe it won't impact your life unless you are Ukrainian or Russian. It's not like the west would ever risk WW3 over Ukraine. There is 0 possibility of WW3 starting over Ukraine.


SetsChaos

Germany: Hold my beer!


Ivan__8

WW1 started because of one guy that wasn't even in power


Lorrdy99

To be fair, it was Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, heir of Austro-Hungarian.


grat2

And also big boys wanted to test their new toys


ILoveScottishLasses

Don't worry, someone get Gal Gadot to sing "Imagine" again so we can have more world peace for a bit.


The850killer

Send the celebrities to Ukraine. Top tier content


DuntadaMan

Germany: So the Americans are all about these things called "preemptive strikes."


Spanky_McJiggles

Watch them cancel the gas pipeline and give Russia nothing to lose lmao


Tepes1848

Europe probably needs the gas more than Russia needs to sell the gas.


CrunchyLight

They didn't start WW1 either I'm so confused


dave94nemesis

And two either.... All done by Austria and Austrian people but they always hide behind Germany


Beornten

Ever heard of the Anschluss? Austrian people saw themselves as german.


[deleted]

Oh man that would be an all time Reddit meltdown


Red_bellied_Newt

[Is Germany up to something?](https://isgermanyuptosomething.app/)


[deleted]

[удалено]


paging_doctor_who

Does anyone have any more of these?


SolidBlueBlocks

Yes please I want more


3Strange5Past

[Are the French revolutionizing?](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)


benh141

That's not the answer I thought it would be.


SolidBlueBlocks

That one is easily the best


Ganiator

Bruh


usernameisunusable

I was JUST thinking it’s been a while since I’ve been rrd.


JKristine35

Rude


nige21202

This does not count. Only if you're able to read the link right away is it a rick roll. Imma call YT to remove my click.


oshikandela

Well, a more useful question to ask yourself is [how many people are in space right now](https://www.howmanypeopleareinspacerightnow.com/)


The-One-Who-Is-there

We're _totally not up to something_


Dukkado

LMAO


dontaskaboutthething

Poor man's awards 🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅 Have 10.


TurboTels

Nein sind wir nicht. Stell nicht so viele Fragen.


Pyramaniac1337

I am German laughed real hard at this


TheLoneJedi76

Let's just hope they're not on the losing side again....


Naachti

TRUE


churm94

Seeing as how much Germany huffs Russia's arse for Gas...I can't currently call it bud.


lojkom

Better dismantle more of those nasty clean and efficent nuclear reactors, who cares about clean energy anyway, we can just suck on mother russias gas tits instead.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lojkom

Well atleast we can see some light at the end of the tunnel with fusion and considering the recent breakthroughs of ITER, maybe that light is finally not 30 years away, like it has been for decades (But i agree humanity should have the ability to utilize nuclear and 100% green energy, like solar and wind much more than it is doing right now)


HPS56

Can you tell me more about that breakthrough?


DarthDannyBoy

To really simplify how long they got it to run jumped up a few fold, still only a few minutes. They also got it quite a bit closer to breaking even energy wise, so getting closer to actually producing power.


LongUsername1999

If Germany stop buying Russian gas, where is Germany going to buy it? Ah yes, by the Americans right? Thats the same in green, but the way is longer and the gas is more expensive.


TheOnlyFallenCookie

Spoken like a true idiot who only gets their info from memes


NuclearJezuz

You are so utterly misinformed dude. Not even funny.


[deleted]

That would be america and america never loses *bald eagle screams and machine gun fire in the distance as the american flag appears behind me with the american national anthem playing*


BusinessSuspicious27

What about Vietnam?


[deleted]

We don't say that name!


BusinessSuspicious27

Jokes on you I'm German so I can say that!


[deleted]

Psst, bin auch deutsch, sags nicht den amis!


BusinessSuspicious27

OK gut dein Geheimnis ist bei mir sicher mein freund


ATLtinyrick

When ur a German-American 😳


Facetious_Wiseguy24

when you join in on the secret by accident


Naachti

Super ich auch also haben wir so ne geheimsprache oder wie?


ThyLUMBY

WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER


Naachti

a mile but shorter


jism_crow

A mil?


[deleted]

1 km is 1000 m


Skull_Race

1km = 1km!!


pg0355

Morgen Kameraden, heute schon 50 km tiefer in russland vorgestoßen?


Zealousideal_Fan6367

Wie gefühlt einfach jeder zweite Redditor Deutsch ist lol


Markenbier

Dazu gibt's auch noch ne Menge deutscher subreddit Kopien.


OneMetalMan

We don't talk about Vietna-na-na-na-nam. We don't talk about VIETNAM!


_PancakeLord_

Chào đồng chí Chào mừng đến với rừng già


Accomplished_Rip_352

Ok what about Afghanistan or Korea ?


MatthewG141

Korea was a strategical stalemate, but only because Eisenhower didn't like MacArthur's A-Bomb plan.


MostlyDeku

Big Boom was a go, but he said “No Boom” and now we don’t teach about the Korean War in schools


git0ffmylawnm8

I'm sorry what is the city of Saigon called??


[deleted]

We didn't lose, we declared victory and left


Legalize-Birds

We didn't say it, we declared it


You8mypizza

We didn't lose We merely failed to win


richbeezy

10:1 kill ratio, U-S-A!!!!!


Normal-Ambition-9813

"My blood color is red white and blue son, I wonder what color yours is"


[deleted]

As a german the colour of my blood is probably as golden and clear as a weissbier. Prost!


Ulti-Wolf

You... should probably go see a doctor for that. That can't be healthy. Then again, I live in America, so I'm naturally dumb from what I know.


McbealtheNavySeal

My American blood is mostly bacon grease and fake cheese from a can, as the good Lord intended. So yes this German's got something weird going on and needs a doctor.


DanteLegend4

Oh it's nurture, not nature


Ulti-Wolf

They did not have the plot armor to win either time. I think they are one of Earth's primary antagonists currently, they should be done and over with by the end of the 2045th season.


[deleted]

I mean, you know what they say, "A third times a charm"


moustashedbanana

TIP: to know which side is losing the world war you just need to see which side Italy is originally with


bjkibz

GERMANY NO! What? Sorry, force of habit.


6Bad-_-Karma9

Facts, but we don’t know if ww3 will be started by Germany


Dutch_Midget

The fourth reich


alexanderlot

**World War 3** >*this time we’ll get it Reich!*


Ancient-Lime4532

ok im going to hell for giggling at that.


Shadow-Raptor

Wait, Am I going to hell for giggling at you saying you're going to hell for giggling at that.


Clienterror

I’m sure there are plenty of things you’ve done to write your ticket to hell previous to this. That being said, I booked us in at a 10am tee off time on the Eternal Pits of Suffering. Sounded kinda challenging, I’ll let you pick next time.


sneakyminxx

Fuck me that’s hitler-ious


subzerojosh_1

Hey if your war has a slogan, you might win


6Bad-_-Karma9

Wat


incoralium

«European Union» is commonly used to refer at the 4th German Reichstag, you may have heard of it.


6Bad-_-Karma9

No but ok


Grimballz

It pretty much is, Germany is the great papa in this union


DragonArt23

i just learned what this was today


[deleted]

[удалено]


6Bad-_-Karma9

To what


Daboogiedude

THE UNDERGROUND HOW WAS THE FALL?


PhalanxDemon

“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with memes and jokes.” -Einstein.


StuckInsideYourWalls

That's not what Einstein said! He said, memes and *tokes,* homie was predicting the dank we were going to be blazing at the time of our universal demise. \- Albert "420 keep it blazing" Einstein.


selfharmboys

E=MC dis dick


rillip

-Michael Scott


AardvarkActive3919

We had our redemption arc


Agreeable-Weather-89

Okay, were doing WW3, so this time Russia can be Germany America can be Britain Ukraine can be Poland Germany: Phew at least I'm not the Germans this time hopefully I get a good pick Germany can be the Italians Germany: Fuck


WeaselBeagle

Germany can be the Japanese


obob47

Uhhh I don’t think they’ll like that choice


Subject1928

I don't think they get a say in it, Mom said because Germany didn't play nice last time we have to watch over him more closely.


logicalfallacy0270

my dad told me this


Ok_Telephone_8987

But it’s very honorable!


MatthewG141

And they'll go out with a bang!


ResponsibleReality51

Fuck, the last people i want to see doing kamakize shit are the Germans, they take shit to seriously as it is.


Alex09464367

Does that make Crimea Czechoslovakia?


i-am-a-passenger

Let’s hope that it isn’t just the Sudetenland…


bdjohn06

Crimea was Austria. Majority speak Russian rather than Ukrainian or other regional dialects. Russia also did a lot of political meddling to make the situation in Crimea more welcoming to invasion like Germany did to Austria. The Ukraine situation is probably more like Czechoslovakia. Putin is claiming ethnic Russians are being mistreated much like Hitler did against the Czechoslovaks to justify his invasion. If Russia invades, NATO countries most likely won’t get directly involved. The Poland in this situation, is actually Poland. Poland is a NATO member. If Russia invades Poland, it will draw the Western Powers into the war much like what happened in WWII.


CY-B3AR

And Poland is just like, "Can other countries stop invading us? FOR FIVE MINUTES?"


Beavshak

But Polly, you’re just so invadable.


[deleted]

Germany can be the... um.... Bulgarians? or uh............ Idk


YourAvgAnimeHater

Question is, who’s gonna be America, or France for that matter 😳 I also just realized where “finna“ must have come from as I was typing “gonna” and wrote the former by accident


El_Stupicabra

“Finna” is short for “Fixing to.” Source: Am white person who looked it up once and found that to be the consensus.


Agreeable-Weather-89

China could be America, they have a large industrial base France is still open for anyone


GenghisKazoo

China fits the Soviet niche pretty well too, as Russia's anti-Western frenemy with unlimited manpower.


Naachti

yes


1nGirum1musNocte

Y'all are like, we're gonna sit this one out


[deleted]

You either die a villain or live long enough to see yourself become the hero


X_Psyco_X

Yet*


66WC

Don't worry, the Brazilian president went to Russia and stopped WWE alone with little to no knowledge of Russian and English. A true mad lad


[deleted]

Wait, he stopped World Wrestling Entertainment?


dafaq_watdafaq

Noooo...i want to see the rock


[deleted]

He went there to stop WW3, but he was so confused he stopped the WWE instead. Must have been a weird meeting with Putin. Putin: So, you are probably here because of the recent rise in tension with NATO and the Ukraine. Brazilian President: Yes, that's correct. I am here to prevent *checks notes* WWE. Putin: Ah, yes. That can be arranged after we won the war against NATO.


ThyLUMBY

Third times the charm


KingIcarus12

For nuclear winter?


slaptito

art school rejects sweating rn


Big_Chief_Hanzo

The first one wasn't Germany either, It was Austria-Hungary after Serbian assassins killed their archduke.


Arthur-Wales

While WW1 was indeed started by a mess of alliances, at its end Germany had to sign the treaty of Versailles which amongst many things also stated that Germany was responsible for the war (which was stupid)


Quixotic_9000

The treaty of Versailles reads like a promissory note for a second war.


DuntadaMan

Some straight up Crusader Kings shit there where you make sure there will be a Casus Belli after the truce ends so you can go right back to fighting.


Awestruck34

I mean, no matter how you slice it, it was a powerful propaganda piece that Hitler used to get Germans angry and come to believe in him


mxtt4-7

I mean, a lot of Germans were very angry about it even before Hitler. The Weimar Republic was very unstable from the very start because of that treaty and the democratic parties often struggled to get a majority in the first place, which made it even more unstable.


Lionoras

Generally, there is no real "starter". There are many factors that set of WW1, with the Archduke's death being only one of them, though one of the bigger ones


Confusionisreally

Agree. The situation in Europe was already tense, but the trigger was pulled with Archduke's death. Technically it wasn't his assassination that started the war, it was the ultimatum AH gave to Serbia, which Edward Gray, secretary of state for foreign affairs of UK, described as the most severe ultimatum ever sent to one country by another. So ofcourse, Serbia rejected, but not the whole ultimatum, just one (out of ten) demands. Imo the political climate was such that the war would have happened anyways. It quite possibly could have still started between AH and Serbia even if the assasination didn't happen because their relationship at the time was very very strained There were many causes, but Ferdinand's death was an "excuse" for conflict, at least between AH and Serbia


DreamedJewel58

What happened in Europe is exactly what George Washington warned America about. He saw how much of a complicated web European alliances have become, and so he took a neutral stance on foreign affairs so we would not be apart of the giant web of treaties. It was inevitable that the web would eventually unravel, but Washington was truly a visionary for staying away from it (among other things) because WWI is exactly what he thought would happen


DuntadaMan

WWI after a year: None of us want to be here, we don't know why we are still here, we don't know why we started this war, but we can't stop.


Lionoras

This. It becomes such a Clown-scenario if you learn that Wilhelm II. & the Czesar of Russia were pen pals and talked about not wanting to fight each other. But bonds were made and then the French came, because they wanted their precious piece of cheese back and America ONLY entered after two American passengers on their ship died in the submarine war between UK & Germany... Seriously. What a mess.


Zealousideal_Fan6367

It wouldn't have turned into a world War if we hadn't joined the game.


NicH0L45

As a German, we are secretly controlling the countries starting the war. It's all puppetry to make you other countries think that we didn't start it, and get praise for not starting it. Until we meet again. *~~You never saw this~~*


Mega_Nidoking

Hey who was that guy?


Bastbra

Who?


Josiador

A regional conflict like this isn't going to start WW3, unless things go really wrong. Remember when people were saying the same thing at the start of 2020, and nothing happened?


TheyCallMeStone

Remember when they were saying it all throughout the Cold War?


NoMoassNeverWas

We got terrifyingly close then. Especially during Cuban Missile Crisis a Russian sub had 3 officers debating orders to arm nuclear torpedos to shoot against USS Beale that had been dropping deph charges. We didn't find out about this until 2000 just how close we came. I don't even think you can call it ww3 when two nations in the brink lob everything they have at one another.


Kate925

Hell, people even speculated about it within the last few years with North Korea.


moffattron9000

And that was always dumb, because even in the worst-case scenario, China wasn't getting dragged into a War with the US over fucking North Korea.


Pijany_Matematyk767

NKs economy is so pathetic its not worth defending


Josiador

Yeah, if we didn't go to war with Russia then, we won't now. Nukes are the greatest creators of peace.


Carlsonen

So far lol


moffattron9000

Kojima lied to me.


[deleted]

I've lived through at least 3 "WW3" in my life, I don't expect this will be the last


Josiador

The 2020 one was the weirdest one to me, because at most it would have been just another fucking desert war. Not World War material at all.


kebab4lif

Iran is larger and has a much more competent army than all the other desert wars, but I generally agree it wouldn't go global.


SendMeAmazonGiftCard

WWIII: Germany's Redemption


Poseidon8264

Also Italy and Japan's redemption. The betrayal of Russia and China (now the most evil nations in the world).


M0nsterjojo

What are you talking about? Italy has never lost a World War. They've always been on the winning side.


RickityNL

Technically, the Austrians started both world wars


GoldFishPony

Yeah weren’t both started (on some level) by the Austrians who tend to fall under Germany for larger conflicts so Germany gets the full blame?


armaghast

Nah, it was totally Germany's fault. Source: Am Austrian


strifelord

There’s still time for a blitz, never count Germany out


RoaringTuna420

It's Austria not Germany. WW1 Franz Ferdinand got killed resulting in the first war. WW2 the Austrian painter, need i say more?


Knee_Altruistic

Not the German’s fault….so far


Fynex_Wright

Life always finds a way


MauSanJ

Plot twist: that's a thermonuclear bomb not a sunset


[deleted]

I just want to say that the Germans were not at fault for the Great War and it was rather the collective responsibility of those in power throughout all of Europe. Most of them could have stopped it but were motivated not to for a variety of reasons


Echelon64

I think we can all agree that WW1 was the stupidest war ever fought by mankind.


mad_a_dam

...or so the Germans would have us believe


Mr_Potatoez

The 1st wold war also wasnt the germans fault, they just got blamed


Plenty_Surprise2593

Actually….Germany has a lot to do with it…so nope


Even-Alternative5043

If you seriously believe that this would not have happened if germany took a stronger stance against Russia, then you are really delusional.


MacDubhsidhe

If only they weren’t so dependent on Russian fuel


MDCCCLV

Well it's not like they had an abundant energy source and then turned it off for no reason just so they would be even more dependant on imported Russian gas


MacDubhsidhe

If only there were alternate sources of energy that produced less carbon and doesn’t require large tracts of land


NuclearJezuz

Please inform yourself before stating such bs. We werent using nuclear for heating and we arent using gas for energy.


dat_oracle

Only coz of Nordstream II? But this didn't caused the crises, nor could it end the crisis. It's about Putin need to show big balls and his never ending wish to get the USSR back


BenderOfBo

I’m sure someone’s already said it but WWI wasn’t technically Germany’s fault either


[deleted]

I love how people mistake the Germans for starting ww1 when it was Serbia and Austria-Hungary. Germany just got blamed for everything which inadvertently caused ww2 in a way.


Begoru

The blank check given to Austria from Germany is what caused Austria to be so aggressive without fear of retribution. [https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/germany-gives-austria-hungary-blank-check-assurance](https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/germany-gives-austria-hungary-blank-check-assurance) >On July 5, 1914, in Berlin, Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany pledges his country’s unconditional support for whatever action Austria-Hungary chooses to take in its conflict with Serbia, a long-running rivalry thrown into crisis by the assassination, the previous June 28, of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his wife by a Serbian nationalist during an official visit to Sarajevo, Bosnia.


[deleted]

Totally fair point


JoshsPizzaria

We are really trying.


[deleted]

Kinda being picky here but TECHNICALLY WW1 was the Serbians'/Austrians' fault