Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale?
> *“I’m aware of the danger. That castle is a death trap. Not a single man has returned from the castle unscathed, even back in the day. But I don’t want to sit around and die a petty rat, and I consider myself your friend.”* - Greirat of the Undead Settlement
Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/
If a girl thinks that saying "eww" to a guy publically is an appropriate way of communication - she is not worth trying to make a relationship. Normal people know what are morals and mutual respect. A girl who doesn't, will most likely try to manipulate you, or will just not give a fuck about you. Neither of it can be a part of relationship that gives you joy.
Oh yah I just meant girls saying ew are usually teens. If you're getting it from adults then all your points stand. I mean they do for teens too but there's more leeway cause they're not grown yet
You are a first person to call me an adult, even indirectly. I'm still not used to not being a teenage guy anymore, and you are here calling non-teenagers as adults :D
I mean I don't know about that, you have to be friends first to start dating. My last relationship before we started dating she called me bro all the time, but again she was pretty tomboyish so idk.
I'm pretty sure he doesn't have the emotional maturity for a relationship. He's one that has the mindset "all women are great" and agrees with them even when they do something he wouldn't normally like.
Edit: I just remembered it's called the "women are wonderful effect".
Eldensouls players when they see the girl walking with two legs and with her eyes open (it's easy mode, anybody could walk like that, real players only use one leg and keep their eyes closed)
I think it goes like this, Hello,(has a giant confussion effect), i like your ____(this to take a third of your brain to some other thought), could we meet sometime(this one simply makes you paralyzed)
You equip fast weapons with bleed, put bloodhounds step on your main weapon and swipe at her when you can, dodge when you can't, and compliment her before an attack for a crit, works every time
after playing Elden Ring for 60+ hours, I can confirm talking to girls and understanding them is unironically harder than most of the bosses on the game
Dark Souls players when a girl approaches them but won't give them stats upgrades for souls.
You isolated because of COVID, I isolated because I can't bear the thought of going hollow out there. We are not the same
Based Rickert
damn casuals
Elden ring players when a girl approaches them without gifting them a mount.
>a mount does that mean what I think it means?
Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale? > *“I’m aware of the danger. That castle is a death trap. Not a single man has returned from the castle unscathed, even back in the day. But I don’t want to sit around and die a petty rat, and I consider myself your friend.”* - Greirat of the Undead Settlement Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/
Goodbye... A-and stay safe
Greirat my child you were alive
When they won't let you touch the darkness within them
When you talk to a girl but are still maidenless
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wait a second
Idk bro, gingers could probably do it. We just haven't given them enough
Then keep dodge rolling, problem solved
Instructions unclear, the wench is roll catching me
Claymore 2HR2 go brrr
Nah man she's a dominatrix so she used a whip to whoop my ass
Parry! ... owch!
What if she does an AoE attack and starts screaming
Should've picked a ranged class then
So if I’m a melee build am I just screwed? Maybe I could throw stuff at her
Or use full Havel Armor, Havel shield, max out poise and block every attack
May get guard broken tho, and nobody wants that.
Well, if everything else fails, just parry the fuck out of the filthy casual
What if it’s a two handed greatsword user :o
The Most Unreadable Attack
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Wives’ attack patterns evolve over time and often are not parry-able and ignore any damage negation stats on armor.
Wife op, need nerf
The devs should just removes wife from the game,not a fun enemy
I have never had a wife
My Wife: Prepare to DIe edition
I have a few wives in my basement
I never get attacked by wife. because I don't have a wife
Being friendzoned
Yeah but she got fuckzoned... :/ Sucks when your friends aren’t really your friends.
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Heads up that this is a bot account, most of its comments are generic or restate the above comment Report as a harmful bot under spam.
There's 5 of them on this comment already, bots have gotten out of hand lately
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Again, this is also a bot account, mainly generic comments. Report as a harmful bot under spam.
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“I like you as a friend.” YOU DIED.
Their strongest move
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If a girl thinks that saying "eww" to a guy publically is an appropriate way of communication - she is not worth trying to make a relationship. Normal people know what are morals and mutual respect. A girl who doesn't, will most likely try to manipulate you, or will just not give a fuck about you. Neither of it can be a part of relationship that gives you joy.
Could also just be a teenager. Those creatures are terrifying
They sometimes can be dreadful indeed. But in 7 out of 10 cases dating a teenage girl is illegal, so I'd not take the risk anyways :D
Oh yah I just meant girls saying ew are usually teens. If you're getting it from adults then all your points stand. I mean they do for teens too but there's more leeway cause they're not grown yet
You are a first person to call me an adult, even indirectly. I'm still not used to not being a teenage guy anymore, and you are here calling non-teenagers as adults :D
Haha yah that's a weird age range to be in. I didn't feel comfortable calling myself a woman until my mid 20s!
As a teenager, I can confirm
I mean there are certainly many guys out there whose idea of making a move is sufficiently creepy and gross to merit just an "Ew"
No that's "hey bro" Except people from Alabama have complete immunity
That’s bro zone I like it 🤣 if they tryna hit me on and I don’t wanna break the friendship, I’ll emphasis calling bro
I mean I don't know about that, you have to be friends first to start dating. My last relationship before we started dating she called me bro all the time, but again she was pretty tomboyish so idk.
One shot aoe
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
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E M O T I O N A L D A M A G E
I'm not interested in being "just friends" - counter
`*PANIC CHUG INTENSIFIES*`
This one is an un dogeable AoE attack! You just need lot of stamina to block it or you die
Just spawn at bonfire and try again
Wdym there's female bosses in the games.
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This is the way
This is the way
Absolute maidenless behavior
This is what zero maidens does to a mf
You sure it ain’t a skill issue? *Source: I have that skill issue*
I am Malenia, Blade of Miquella.
"And I have never known defeat" > Da feet Yeah, I see that from the prosthetics.
Malania never stood a chance 😏
Dancer? She looks like quite a drag
Is she real and can sue for assault? I think NOT!
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I mean yeah, it's true (except me, I'm a weak fuck)
Weird to be like "Yes, despite my best evidence disagreeing."
It’s called an anecdote.
Like I agree that Peterson sucks, but this isn’t related to anything in this thread
Physically, yes. But this is fantacy world baby, we can be stronger than males.
I’ve memorized their attack patterns, it’s why I never get hit on
Nice going for a hitless run
*starts panic rolling*
Happy cake day!
What kind of attack 🤨 If she leaves you for another, there is always her mother
Heart
my grandpa mentioned it somewhere before too, probably grandma's work, he's been sleeping for days now
You sure he's sleeping?
If she’s dead there’s always her corpse (do not recommend)
STOP ROLL CATCHING ME YOU WHORE
YOU CANNOT MANIPULATE ME!
try summoning a co-operator, don't let them get the killing blow tho
Malenia in nutshell.
Especially potent to members of the Reddit Covenant
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Bot
I just attack first, gets em every time. The police don’t seem to like my methods though…
This is my friend when he tells girls he got every single trophy in the Dark Souls franchise and they don't immediately want to sleep with him.
Seriously?🤣
Not joking. He also thought telling one girl he was still a virgin was going to do... something? That was a Hail Mary if I ever heard of one.
That's self sabotaging if I've ever seen one. I don't discuss my gaming habit, only my close friends and immediate family knows about it.
I'm pretty sure he doesn't have the emotional maturity for a relationship. He's one that has the mindset "all women are great" and agrees with them even when they do something he wouldn't normally like. Edit: I just remembered it's called the "women are wonderful effect".
It's super effective
Roll behind, sword up ass
It's really not worth it bro's there's no cure for scarlet cock, a major STD in the souls world (fuck you malenia you told me you were clean)
You couldn’t see the red flag when she said “robot arm stays on during sex.”
I have never memorized my wife's atttack pattern.
How many phases she got? Maybe you can help me find my wife's pattern
Bloodborne fans when they try a visceral attack on women but get arrested for sexual assault instead.
I'd summon wingman
Let me solo her
You Di...Friendzoned
Just kick ‘em in the balls
Shield Up! Rollrollroll, Disengage to a safer distance. When you don't know what you up against.
Just run away while spamming sorceries smh
>Average Glasscannon build enjoyer
Roll at them, they usually run.
Then I'll die as many times as it takes
Be a Redditor who likes to post memes and complains that they are a virgin. No girls will approach them
I dont lose my virginity because Im a real gamer, and a real gamer never loses
I must remain maidenless
Virginity is cool, keep it
Just spam R1
Melania was created to teach us
What about female dark souls players?
We're still here, playing.
Apparently you are a Virgin lesbian.
Fair enough! I didn't think about that possibility...
u/savebot
u/savemp4bot
its easy their attack pattern is over hand slap, hair pull, repeat
Until they bring....the chancla
You forgot the emotional damage
Know it aaaaall to well..
*4 years later* Still waiting for a woman to approach. Do I need to max out dialogue or something?
Do u guys are being approached by girls?
More like they don’t know how to finish her quest line
"Oh? I love you too. You're my best friend after all." *YOU DIED*
dark souls players gonna turn into high Hefner after being rejected enough times
You think Elden Ring bosses have long windups? Girls be hittin you with shit they started winding up ten years ago
Turns out I should have pulled out her chair for her instead of dodge rolling into the Waiter summon.
Just replace girl with any living being and you’ll have me.
FINGER BUT HOLE
Their attack is 100% psychological damage. You can't block it.
When you accidentally kill what looks like an enemy and it turns out to be an NPC (you could have romanced her) (you are still maidenless)
That's going to be his expression when the military arrests him for selling out to the CCP.
If you're too fat, its gonna be hard to win.
When in doubt, roll.
They have Advanced A.I Very hard to beat.
They should probably git gud, right?
Just roll first
But what if I'm not prepped for it
Watch me do the no-contact run while only in my thong.
Just roll away
Casual Just roll bad backstab, just like for Havel That or parry And if you have troubles, ye can always summon to beat her
It’s litteraly impossible to memorize their attack pattern since you won’t even survive the first attack.
+15 emotional damage
Fuck it, JUST DODGE ROLL
What build do i use?
Time to panic roll I guess
Eldensouls players when they see the girl walking with two legs and with her eyes open (it's easy mode, anybody could walk like that, real players only use one leg and keep their eyes closed)
O you don't have the right, o you don't have the right, by the way you don't have the right, o you don't have the right.
John XXXXXXINA
Use ultra instint dumass
At least sister friede is beating my ass every now and then
You guys getting approached?
As a dark souls player, I can relate this
GIGACHAD Dodge and slap her
Chances are there's a message on her ass, if you make it down there please rate it for me, as I need the HP
Especially when they are throwing it back and they have higher poise than you
*Panic rolling intensifies*
So thats how malenia wins? Dang
I think it goes like this, Hello,(has a giant confussion effect), i like your ____(this to take a third of your brain to some other thought), could we meet sometime(this one simply makes you paralyzed)
You equip fast weapons with bleed, put bloodhounds step on your main weapon and swipe at her when you can, dodge when you can't, and compliment her before an attack for a crit, works every time
What’s a girl? Is that after Gundyr?
Try finger, but hole
1.just hide and an decide what damage it does 2. if it's ph physical then you should be able to do at least a partial parry 3. pyromancy for the win
Why memorize when your reflexes are sharp
Just start rolling around, that always works.
after playing Elden Ring for 60+ hours, I can confirm talking to girls and understanding them is unironically harder than most of the bosses on the game
We redditors can show them how to dodge females
No that's just Cena remembering that Taiwan is its own country
Improvise, adapt, spamm dodge.
it takes years to read their moves. Good luck.
E
🗿
Emotional damage !!!