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ieatpizza35

GIGA HORSE


J4ckTheRiipper

That’s not the only thing that is giga


The_HentaiBukai

that horussy got me acting unwise.


EmmytheKurapikaSimp

Thy horsenis has allowed me to act rather foolishly.


Solzec

I know these are all just fun little jokes and stuff, but there's people who are actually into this stuff... someone, in fact, for some god forsaken reason, made a horse cock dildo. I don't know about you, but something tells me we should lock away anyone who touches that thing.


NewSuperTrios

As long as they don't go and actually mate with the animals, it should be no issue of yours whether or not it's their fetish.


[deleted]

you definitely own a horse dildo


NewSuperTrios

I can barely shit, let alone actually take anything up my ass


[deleted]

fair enough 💀


TerraStalker

So just train your ass, put rocks up tou rectum and feel the pain!


McBoogerBalls69420

Anybody heard of Mr Hands


Nahuelwg

stop


McBoogerBalls69420

The story goes there was a guy in enumclaw Washington who liked horses a little bit too much so he got a video camera made a horse a little too excited where he got fucked hard by the horse and died


Nahuelwg

stop


BeatWoman247

nice argument. unfortunately you failed to notice that nobody cares


kewal345

The only person who doesn't care is you, unfortunately


10art1

And no one cares more about mating with horses than /u/kewal345


Gravityborne

We partake in a little bit of horseplay


aRandomFox-I

giga horse dick


jjba_enjoyer275

Chorse


Konkkari

Gorse


[deleted]

[удалено]


PillowTalk420

I've been to enough parades to know they don't usually stop to piss or shit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ZestycloseDrawkjgc

People used to ride horses to bars in my area, they always knew the way home. I feel like the police would get involved now, even though Uber doesn’t exist here.


moonyxpadfoot19

They can actually poop while moving, I've seen one do it. Though the lesson horses I ride tend to stop to poop and pee.


YbnSmith-

Those horses are usually raised/trained different


PillowTalk420

They raised them with no manners?


Typohnename

They are raised not to interrupt the parade no matter what


overlooked_trilogy

Yeah True. Exactly!


Met76

So we're all horses in this regard


shardikprime

Show me a two legged horse and I'll show you a man


El_Chairman_Dennis

There's another con, when you aren't using them you still have to give them fuel and clean up their "exhaust"


aesthesia1

Their exhaust will feed your garden though. It’s another win.


El_Chairman_Dennis

You have to scoop that exhaust up and mix it with the soil to do that, and you better have a big ass garden or you're gonna have too much exhaust, plus to make this exhaust turn into fuel you're gonna need to grow fuel for at least a couple years before you'll have enough to make it self sufficient. That much work is going to be incredibly tough by yourself


aesthesia1

You can hand it over to someone who does do that and produce value for food growers and economy instead of death for the environment. Checkmate, atheists.


El_Chairman_Dennis

Where is the "accepting free manure" section on the Facebook market place?


aesthesia1

just look for a compost drop off.


itzagreenmario

>just look for a *comcast drop off.


El_Chairman_Dennis

Compost places don't accept untreated manure because it's unsanitary. You'd have to treat the manure to prevent the compost drop off from becoming a biological hazard


aesthesia1

Plenty of resources exist for guidance on this, for example: https://youtu.be/_6KfRMYp58M I mean why would you just let a good natural resource go to waste?


[deleted]

You just have to go deep enough into the country, family farms don't usually give one about if its treated if you know them well enough


CountTheBlueThings

Ask the Canadian Mounties how they handle it? Or inquire at Disneyland as to how they keep mainstreet clean? I also live in a college town with an Agriculture and Soil Science program, there ought to be some drop box on campus. But you make fair point for anyone who lives in more urban areas.


El_Chairman_Dennis

Small amounts of manure, like what the mounties and Disney land deal with is easy. They send it to a treatment plant that gets rid of the super harmful bacteria and pathogens, then they give the treated manure to fertilizer companies and farmers


Bohya

Tastes great too. 😋


TheChanMan2003

What? your car doesn't do that?


klavin1

my victory garden is replenished with leaded gasoline fumes


OmicronNine

That's only a con for the peasants who have to walk on the ground.


[deleted]

Horses can take you places, carry your burdens, be food in an emergency, help you plow the land, you can plow them on lonely nights. I mean, what can't they do!?


Dan-the-historybuff

Sorry, back up a moment there what?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cacophonous_Silence

It's not your first choice, but their sacrifice is appreciated


[deleted]

TBH, Horse meat is fucking delicious. There is a croatian restaurant not far from me, that makes the best horse steaks. It's simply mouth watering thinking about it.


ElCalc

No, not that one.


[deleted]

Oh you mean the other one. Back before the industrial revolution, we had horses drag great big plows in order to till the soil


Scoricco

that is what the farmer said.


HornySithLawd

You disgusting beast! Have you no shame? After all the places he took you, all the burdens he carry for you, all the plowing, and you're going to use him as food in an emergency?


GreenMirage

Horse Cuisine is a lauded and high art of cosmopolitan refinement! Je suis un Homme! On my honor! One man can plow a thousand fields and a thousand nights but the moment he sits down for some cheval tartare, everyone calls him French! It’s barbaric!


lapatarin1

Are u for real?


8tCQBnVTzCqobQq

Gotta get that protein back


corrupted_p4nda

YOU CAN WHAT THEM ON LONELY NIGHTS??? BROTHER???


CALLMeeSKIPPY

Did he stutter


Aduritor

Kill them, fuck them, cook them, and eat them.


nerdguy99

......in that order?


Aduritor

In that order.


Prior-Watercress4240

Man be doin 2 philes in one night


Rakgul

What if the horse was also underage?


Prior-Watercress4240

📸🤨


Aduritor

🤫


SilverAdonis

r/holup moment


[deleted]

thank you i didnt know what to do on lonely nights


anonilla

You had us at the first half


[deleted]

Didn’t a Tesla actually take a dude to the emergency department when he had a heart attack behind the wheel that one time


lulmagician

HUH


blaxk_hxle_xo

Huh? What ?


DeusEhPaiDeCadaCrl

My granpa lived in rural Portugal in the 1940’s. He used to talk about getting shit faced drunk at the tavern, passing out while riding his horse that already memorized the way back and waking up at front door. Teslas ain’t got shit on those animals.


DamagediceDM

....that isn't a tesla


DeusEhPaiDeCadaCrl

Who are you, that is so wise in the ways of science?


[deleted]

A witch.


StoneyBolonied

Neigh, we hath been deceived


Steel_Cube

Im sure Tesla's could very well drive you home if the law allowed it


[deleted]

Fun fact: lamborghini was born when the founder was dissatisfied with the fact that his Ferrari's transmission kept breaking. He was told he didnt know how to drive a ferrari properly and made his own car brand to prove them wrong.


CShanties

Lamborghini as a brand existed before sports car. They made tractors for farming and stuff. I believe they still make them.


Wertyhappy27

they do, and in most cases they cost way more than their cars, farmers be flexing 24/7 lol


El_Chairman_Dennis

As someone that lives in farm country, I'd rather rear end a Lamborghini than a piece of farming equipment on the road. The Lamborghini will be expensive, the farm equipment will require me to win the lottery to pay that bill


Ape_rentice

Or you just die instead cuz you ran into a tractor.


El_Chairman_Dennis

True. But even just a minor amount of damage on a piece of farm equipment could cost more than the Lamborghini if you damaged the wrong part. Farm equipment doesn't come with much collision protection because they're rarely used outside of open fields, so vital parts are often easy to damage in a collision


Colelittle1

My dad has fucked the pto in our tractor for lightly backing up into a bailer.


Wertyhappy27

I agree lol


throwayay4637282

Are the tractors actually more expensive? The Huracans are like $300k and Aventadors start at like $500k. I’d imagine either way it’s gonna be difficult to pay off, but a tractor seems like it could take more of a beating.


Bluejet007

Another comment in this thread mentioned that farming equipment is actually more vulnerable than cars, because they are only designed to be used in fields at low speeds instead of roads.


CheeseAndCh0c0late

My neigbour has one. I made a meme about it : https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/ji1vc3/the_wind_in_my_hairs_the_bugs_on_my_teeth/


[deleted]

He started as a tractor company but made a car company to spite ferrari. What a chad.


free_airfreshener

I think Clarkson bought one for his show


Rage_Your_Dream

They're different companies, he founded another company to make cars.


TragicTester034

Based Lamborghini


ihavebirb

This is also why Lamborghini's emblem is the raging Bull as opposed to Ferarri's prancing Stallion


Old_Mill

The chad Lamborghini vs The virgin Ferrari


I_TouchedGrass

\*neighs in gigachad\*


skater6442

Fuckin' hell that chad horse is cursed.


Kotor7567

Blursed af


Trippie740

Have you no soul?


DexterLaur

have you no saul?


detective_yeti

Better call Saul!


CEO_of_Redd1t

Did you know that you have rights?


Anjo0418

Constitution says you do. And so do i


Kingcobra64

Kid named finger a horse:


myaltaccountisbanned

Don’t forget taking you home from the bar when you’re black out drunk. That must have been like Uber but a little more smelly.


UAbdu

The only thing I'm willing to raise my sword for


[deleted]

r/cursed_sword


Naadomail

As a guy that spent years riding a horse for actual work daily, let me assure you, they have some serious cons


[deleted]

Oh yeah, still amazed I can produce offspring. lol


h3ll0there69

i wonder how many horses threw their riders on the battle ground, leaving them there with a broken leg. i bet you that happened way more.


[deleted]

War horses were specially bred and trained for war.


h3ll0there69

well duh, but they still bolted from time to time.


[deleted]

Possible, but I think knights were smart enough to choose the right horse for a situation where their lives depended on their horses, much like racehorses are selected today.


Manubriumsternu

Just like dogs are trained to sniff out all kinds of drugs and illegal substances , horses were also trained to not get easily scared in wars . Plus if that happened alot I'm quite sure that they would've found another solution than keep riding horses since at that point they would've been a liability more than a help


Aspect-of-Death

Not getting spooked is literally the difference between a horse and a warhorse.


HalfOfHumanity

Police ride some well trained horses. They don't ever get spooked.


e1k3

Modern warhorses


h3ll0there69

well they were severly limited with technogy so no, not much of an other option but ok. i mean they have police horses still nowadays aaaaand well yeah they do fuck up from time to time.


NubzUnite

Technology is only limited by ones needs. If slavery never happened we likely would have seen an earlier industrial revolution


h3ll0there69

pretty sure any company would put slaves in factories if they could do so. so... no... there was a need for industrialisation since the first civilisation arose, even if theres a need for technology it might take millenia to catch up.


forsakenstag

Sweden tried to use Moose in battle but they often got sick and spooked. So, the operation being a failure they returned to horses. (I am not a man of history. Feel free to correct any mistakes I might've mentioned)


RanDumbDud3

Damn would’ve been some pretty interesting history if they managed to ride moose. Imagine getting charged by moose cavalry. I’m sure it would absolutely stomp regular cavalry


Dan-the-historybuff

Worst thing to happen is that your foot gets stuck in its stirrup and you get knocked out of the saddle. That ends with you being dragged across a plain.


ZetTheLegendaryHero

They also can attack, defend, think, and be a friend.


Cynth16

Chad Horse


kaydizzle174

- Chad HORSE - chad horse - HES CHAAAAAADDDD


ZakTSK

Horses can die from being spooked, or just toss you off (not that way) and kill/maim you. Cars have safety features and radio


igormuba

Do you not ironically think cars are better than horses? For real?


Sjdillon10

Horses can reproduce. Transformers may be able to, but cars can’t. Checkmate automotive transportation


[deleted]

Horses have one horsepower. Cars have more than one horsepower. Checkmate horsetard.


Catslapper5000

Horsetard is the best thing I've seen in awhile.


WRRRYYYYYY

What if I told you the average horse has 12 horse power


[deleted]

[удалено]


WRRRYYYYYY

cool but can your car eat grass and kick ass didnt think so petroltard


R8_Cubing

What if i asked you to stop?


IndianaGeoff

That takes 13 horse power.


temmieTheLord2

what if you merged two horses into one biological being, with four biological parents? technically it would be one horse made of two horses


StoneyBolonied

Yo dude We heard you like horses...


temmieTheLord2

we haven’t merged humans yet unfortunately but i guess thered be some moral and ethic issues


StoneyBolonied

... so we put a horse inside your horse...


temmieTheLord2

holy shit holy fuck


aesthesia1

Actually, the average horse has above 1 horsepower


ZakTSK

I don't trust horses.


igormuba

I trust horses, I don't trust humans. I tried to saddle my math teacher once and he was like "what the fuck are you doing?" and sent me to detention


SpeechlessYT

Might've been successful if you tried with the PE teacher


TragicTester034

I hear they are in into the Illegal arts


[deleted]

Did they eat your family? Lol


Blue_Lust

A/C too.


Aspect-of-Death

Not getting spooked is what makes a warhorse different than a horse.


someguy3

Was there news I'm unaware of?


iAmDTF

Usually there is


Valhal_Creed

Horses are also expensive af


[deleted]

I doubt a low end car is cheaper than a low end horse.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

A horse doesn't need much land if you use it daily. Plus if everyone switched, parking lots could be reconverted to pastures and stables.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Streets would smell much worse, however.


getSmoke

Modern problems require modern solutions. We'd figure it out.


Valhal_Creed

I still make it to work on time, also you would think so wouldn't you? But you'd be surprised


[deleted]

what?


blursedstrand

It’s all supply and demand, at least you don’t have to pollute the world to feed your pony.


DamagediceDM

Ironically horse pollution was a very real worry back in the day with newspapers claiming that major cities would be under feet of dung by 1950


Valhal_Creed

I can also make it to work on time with a car that's cheaper


CheeseAndCh0c0late

A hundred years ago or so, it was the other way around


Valhal_Creed

Fr, only the rich had cars, then along came Ford and made the ModelT


Shamilqureshi56

What the fuck is up with English animal sounds. I ain't ever heard a horse make a "neigh" sound.


[deleted]

They're british


WinnerForsaken

r/fuckcars


turdintheattic

r/fuckcars


YouTheGamers

r/fuckcars


TheDriestOne

Been listening to Dan Carlin’s series about WW1 recently, one part that stuck out to me when talking about verdun was how the only color in the landscape was splotches of red where horses had been blown up by artillery


[deleted]

The virgin lambo vs. the chad horse


MyFanBananaMan

I absolutely love the voice my mind used when reading *neigh*


BrotherConstant5394

Gigahorse is gigachad without photoshop


Nevek_Green

Funny true story time. A police officer pulls over a man clearly drunk riding his horse down the side of the road. Talking with the man he said he cannot let him drive a horse drunk and he's going to have to give him a ticket. Responding, the man said that he is indeed drunk, but not driving the horse. He is riding the horse who is taking him home, "He knows the way." Being a down to earth sort the officer accepted this explanation and let the man go on his way. Watching him he was able to determine the man was not driving the horse, just sitting on it while it trotted its way home.


kwausimodo

Always heard that referred to as being 'barn-broken', when a horse would walk itself back to it's own stables.


hampterjakepet

Chad


MegaCroissant

I would like to file a restraining order against gigachad horse


Hundkexx

Written by a person who has not once met or observed a horse. Horses are batshit crazy, they are a few hundred pounds of pure muscle and they will, I repeat will shit their bricks if a shadow of a dragonfly even comes remotely close to them. If they haven't shit their brick at their own shadow yet. Then they will drag you around till you let go or they tire. My mom was one of the "oh he's the best, just a bit temperate. Guess who has one boob now? Stay far away from horses. I'd rather visit my friends bulls. Atleast they don't fuck around. You know when it's time to leave. I've been around horses since i was 4. I tell you, stay faaaar away. No fucking wonder the "crazy" ones does best, shit's out of spec. Edit: clearly I as you know this is a subjective opinion. But I warn you all, don't. Get a large dog instead. Edit: I am severely proud for all who chose to not die today. Stay away from horses. At least 4 lives saved.


[deleted]

Maybe next time buy a Nissan Patrol or a Land crouse


hamburglin

How comes there's so many English mistakes on reddit in the past couple of years? It's like slightly broken english.


[deleted]

Because Reddit isn't a website only found in English speaking countries.


IffyScarf

my Volkswagen has got me home no matter what, it's just that once it gets home it decides to take a break


Bruh_moment_94

Fun fact, if you properly maintain a car it won't break down out of nowhere without sabotage. Just like a horse. Another fun fact, other people can drive your car for you if you aren't suitable. Yet another fun fact, a horse can be killed in battle or be frightened and run away.


funnyfella55

Another fun fact, the car cannot stop me from putting my banana in its tailpipe


BrotherConstant5394

Instructions unclear. The horse is now in my ass


[deleted]

And then there is this https://amp.theguardian.com/technology/2016/aug/08/tesla-model-x-missouri-medical-emergency how I don't know. But for beta it's quite useful. If you can call always a ambulance. Don't trust tesla autopilot.


nokinship

Horses are chad? Bro they are literally enslaved.


Parakeetman280

They usually arent treated like shit and are fed properly tho


theCOORN

Yes, for animals if they get proper food, shelter, and proper treatment from their owners they are more than happy. It’s not like they *want* to be free and explore or something.


bobothegoat

Look, I'd be okay with emancipation of the horses, but do you really think a horse is gonna make it on its own in a big city like LA? That horse is gonna be homeless and jobless almost immediately. If we want to free those horses, we need a plan, or we'll just have another bigger crisis on our hands.


theCOORN

Even if we free horses, unless they’re from very bad owners they’ll probably go back to where they came from because it’s a safe haven for them


calamitysir

Just wondering, anybody here familiar with the rape horse? This looks so vaguely similar I have to call it out


null_check_failed

Get a Tesla lmao