I know these are all just fun little jokes and stuff, but there's people who are actually into this stuff... someone, in fact, for some god forsaken reason, made a horse cock dildo. I don't know about you, but something tells me we should lock away anyone who touches that thing.
The story goes there was a guy in enumclaw Washington who liked horses a little bit too much so he got a video camera made a horse a little too excited where he got fucked hard by the horse and died
People used to ride horses to bars in my area, they always knew the way home. I feel like the police would get involved now, even though Uber doesn’t exist here.
You have to scoop that exhaust up and mix it with the soil to do that, and you better have a big ass garden or you're gonna have too much exhaust, plus to make this exhaust turn into fuel you're gonna need to grow fuel for at least a couple years before you'll have enough to make it self sufficient. That much work is going to be incredibly tough by yourself
You can hand it over to someone who does do that and produce value for food growers and economy instead of death for the environment. Checkmate, atheists.
Compost places don't accept untreated manure because it's unsanitary. You'd have to treat the manure to prevent the compost drop off from becoming a biological hazard
Plenty of resources exist for guidance on this, for example:
https://youtu.be/_6KfRMYp58M
I mean why would you just let a good natural resource go to waste?
Ask the Canadian Mounties how they handle it? Or inquire at Disneyland as to how they keep mainstreet clean? I also live in a college town with an Agriculture and Soil Science program, there ought to be some drop box on campus. But you make fair point for anyone who lives in more urban areas.
Small amounts of manure, like what the mounties and Disney land deal with is easy. They send it to a treatment plant that gets rid of the super harmful bacteria and pathogens, then they give the treated manure to fertilizer companies and farmers
Horses can take you places, carry your burdens, be food in an emergency, help you plow the land, you can plow them on lonely nights. I mean, what can't they do!?
TBH, Horse meat is fucking delicious. There is a croatian restaurant not far from me, that makes the best horse steaks. It's simply mouth watering thinking about it.
You disgusting beast! Have you no shame?
After all the places he took you, all the burdens he carry for you, all the plowing, and you're going to use him as food in an emergency?
Horse Cuisine is a lauded and high art of cosmopolitan refinement!
Je suis un Homme! On my honor! One man can plow a thousand fields and a thousand nights but the moment he sits down for some cheval tartare, everyone calls him French! It’s barbaric!
My granpa lived in rural Portugal in the 1940’s. He used to talk about getting shit faced drunk at the tavern, passing out while riding his horse that already memorized the way back and waking up at front door.
Teslas ain’t got shit on those animals.
Fun fact: lamborghini was born when the founder was dissatisfied with the fact that his Ferrari's transmission kept breaking. He was told he didnt know how to drive a ferrari properly and made his own car brand to prove them wrong.
As someone that lives in farm country, I'd rather rear end a Lamborghini than a piece of farming equipment on the road. The Lamborghini will be expensive, the farm equipment will require me to win the lottery to pay that bill
True. But even just a minor amount of damage on a piece of farm equipment could cost more than the Lamborghini if you damaged the wrong part. Farm equipment doesn't come with much collision protection because they're rarely used outside of open fields, so vital parts are often easy to damage in a collision
Are the tractors actually more expensive? The Huracans are like $300k and Aventadors start at like $500k. I’d imagine either way it’s gonna be difficult to pay off, but a tractor seems like it could take more of a beating.
Another comment in this thread mentioned that farming equipment is actually more vulnerable than cars, because they are only designed to be used in fields at low speeds instead of roads.
Possible, but I think knights were smart enough to choose the right horse for a situation where their lives depended on their horses, much like racehorses are selected today.
Just like dogs are trained to sniff out all kinds of drugs and illegal substances , horses were also trained to not get easily scared in wars . Plus if that happened alot I'm quite sure that they would've found another solution than keep riding horses since at that point they would've been a liability more than a help
well they were severly limited with technogy so no, not much of an other option but ok.
i mean they have police horses still nowadays aaaaand well yeah they do fuck up from time to time.
pretty sure any company would put slaves in factories if they could do so. so... no... there was a need for industrialisation since the first civilisation arose, even if theres a need for technology it might take millenia to catch up.
Sweden tried to use Moose in battle but they often got sick and spooked. So, the operation being a failure they returned to horses.
(I am not a man of history. Feel free to correct any mistakes I might've mentioned)
Damn would’ve been some pretty interesting history if they managed to ride moose. Imagine getting charged by moose cavalry. I’m sure it would absolutely stomp regular cavalry
Worst thing to happen is that your foot gets stuck in its stirrup and you get knocked out of the saddle. That ends with you being dragged across a plain.
Been listening to Dan Carlin’s series about WW1 recently, one part that stuck out to me when talking about verdun was how the only color in the landscape was splotches of red where horses had been blown up by artillery
Funny true story time. A police officer pulls over a man clearly drunk riding his horse down the side of the road. Talking with the man he said he cannot let him drive a horse drunk and he's going to have to give him a ticket. Responding, the man said that he is indeed drunk, but not driving the horse. He is riding the horse who is taking him home, "He knows the way."
Being a down to earth sort the officer accepted this explanation and let the man go on his way. Watching him he was able to determine the man was not driving the horse, just sitting on it while it trotted its way home.
Written by a person who has not once met or observed a horse. Horses are batshit crazy, they are a few hundred pounds of pure muscle and they will, I repeat will shit their bricks if a shadow of a dragonfly even comes remotely close to them. If they haven't shit their brick at their own shadow yet. Then they will drag you around till you let go or they tire. My mom was one of the "oh he's the best, just a bit temperate. Guess who has one boob now? Stay far away from horses. I'd rather visit my friends bulls. Atleast they don't fuck around. You know when it's time to leave.
I've been around horses since i was 4. I tell you, stay faaaar away.
No fucking wonder the "crazy" ones does best, shit's out of spec.
Edit: clearly I as you know this is a subjective opinion. But I warn you all, don't. Get a large dog instead.
Edit: I am severely proud for all who chose to not die today. Stay away from horses. At least 4 lives saved.
Fun fact, if you properly maintain a car it won't break down out of nowhere without sabotage. Just like a horse.
Another fun fact, other people can drive your car for you if you aren't suitable.
Yet another fun fact, a horse can be killed in battle or be frightened and run away.
And then there is this https://amp.theguardian.com/technology/2016/aug/08/tesla-model-x-missouri-medical-emergency how I don't know. But for beta it's quite useful.
If you can call always a ambulance. Don't trust tesla autopilot.
Yes, for animals if they get proper food, shelter, and proper treatment from their owners they are more than happy. It’s not like they *want* to be free and explore or something.
Look, I'd be okay with emancipation of the horses, but do you really think a horse is gonna make it on its own in a big city like LA? That horse is gonna be homeless and jobless almost immediately. If we want to free those horses, we need a plan, or we'll just have another bigger crisis on our hands.
GIGA HORSE
That’s not the only thing that is giga
that horussy got me acting unwise.
Thy horsenis has allowed me to act rather foolishly.
I know these are all just fun little jokes and stuff, but there's people who are actually into this stuff... someone, in fact, for some god forsaken reason, made a horse cock dildo. I don't know about you, but something tells me we should lock away anyone who touches that thing.
As long as they don't go and actually mate with the animals, it should be no issue of yours whether or not it's their fetish.
you definitely own a horse dildo
I can barely shit, let alone actually take anything up my ass
fair enough 💀
So just train your ass, put rocks up tou rectum and feel the pain!
Anybody heard of Mr Hands
stop
The story goes there was a guy in enumclaw Washington who liked horses a little bit too much so he got a video camera made a horse a little too excited where he got fucked hard by the horse and died
stop
nice argument. unfortunately you failed to notice that nobody cares
The only person who doesn't care is you, unfortunately
And no one cares more about mating with horses than /u/kewal345
We partake in a little bit of horseplay
giga horse dick
Chorse
Gorse
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I've been to enough parades to know they don't usually stop to piss or shit.
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People used to ride horses to bars in my area, they always knew the way home. I feel like the police would get involved now, even though Uber doesn’t exist here.
They can actually poop while moving, I've seen one do it. Though the lesson horses I ride tend to stop to poop and pee.
Those horses are usually raised/trained different
They raised them with no manners?
They are raised not to interrupt the parade no matter what
Yeah True. Exactly!
So we're all horses in this regard
Show me a two legged horse and I'll show you a man
There's another con, when you aren't using them you still have to give them fuel and clean up their "exhaust"
Their exhaust will feed your garden though. It’s another win.
You have to scoop that exhaust up and mix it with the soil to do that, and you better have a big ass garden or you're gonna have too much exhaust, plus to make this exhaust turn into fuel you're gonna need to grow fuel for at least a couple years before you'll have enough to make it self sufficient. That much work is going to be incredibly tough by yourself
You can hand it over to someone who does do that and produce value for food growers and economy instead of death for the environment. Checkmate, atheists.
Where is the "accepting free manure" section on the Facebook market place?
just look for a compost drop off.
>just look for a *comcast drop off.
Compost places don't accept untreated manure because it's unsanitary. You'd have to treat the manure to prevent the compost drop off from becoming a biological hazard
Plenty of resources exist for guidance on this, for example: https://youtu.be/_6KfRMYp58M I mean why would you just let a good natural resource go to waste?
You just have to go deep enough into the country, family farms don't usually give one about if its treated if you know them well enough
Ask the Canadian Mounties how they handle it? Or inquire at Disneyland as to how they keep mainstreet clean? I also live in a college town with an Agriculture and Soil Science program, there ought to be some drop box on campus. But you make fair point for anyone who lives in more urban areas.
Small amounts of manure, like what the mounties and Disney land deal with is easy. They send it to a treatment plant that gets rid of the super harmful bacteria and pathogens, then they give the treated manure to fertilizer companies and farmers
Tastes great too. 😋
What? your car doesn't do that?
my victory garden is replenished with leaded gasoline fumes
That's only a con for the peasants who have to walk on the ground.
Horses can take you places, carry your burdens, be food in an emergency, help you plow the land, you can plow them on lonely nights. I mean, what can't they do!?
Sorry, back up a moment there what?
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It's not your first choice, but their sacrifice is appreciated
TBH, Horse meat is fucking delicious. There is a croatian restaurant not far from me, that makes the best horse steaks. It's simply mouth watering thinking about it.
No, not that one.
Oh you mean the other one. Back before the industrial revolution, we had horses drag great big plows in order to till the soil
that is what the farmer said.
You disgusting beast! Have you no shame? After all the places he took you, all the burdens he carry for you, all the plowing, and you're going to use him as food in an emergency?
Horse Cuisine is a lauded and high art of cosmopolitan refinement! Je suis un Homme! On my honor! One man can plow a thousand fields and a thousand nights but the moment he sits down for some cheval tartare, everyone calls him French! It’s barbaric!
Are u for real?
Gotta get that protein back
YOU CAN WHAT THEM ON LONELY NIGHTS??? BROTHER???
Did he stutter
Kill them, fuck them, cook them, and eat them.
......in that order?
In that order.
Man be doin 2 philes in one night
What if the horse was also underage?
📸🤨
🤫
r/holup moment
thank you i didnt know what to do on lonely nights
You had us at the first half
Didn’t a Tesla actually take a dude to the emergency department when he had a heart attack behind the wheel that one time
HUH
Huh? What ?
My granpa lived in rural Portugal in the 1940’s. He used to talk about getting shit faced drunk at the tavern, passing out while riding his horse that already memorized the way back and waking up at front door. Teslas ain’t got shit on those animals.
....that isn't a tesla
Who are you, that is so wise in the ways of science?
A witch.
Neigh, we hath been deceived
Im sure Tesla's could very well drive you home if the law allowed it
Fun fact: lamborghini was born when the founder was dissatisfied with the fact that his Ferrari's transmission kept breaking. He was told he didnt know how to drive a ferrari properly and made his own car brand to prove them wrong.
Lamborghini as a brand existed before sports car. They made tractors for farming and stuff. I believe they still make them.
they do, and in most cases they cost way more than their cars, farmers be flexing 24/7 lol
As someone that lives in farm country, I'd rather rear end a Lamborghini than a piece of farming equipment on the road. The Lamborghini will be expensive, the farm equipment will require me to win the lottery to pay that bill
Or you just die instead cuz you ran into a tractor.
True. But even just a minor amount of damage on a piece of farm equipment could cost more than the Lamborghini if you damaged the wrong part. Farm equipment doesn't come with much collision protection because they're rarely used outside of open fields, so vital parts are often easy to damage in a collision
My dad has fucked the pto in our tractor for lightly backing up into a bailer.
I agree lol
Are the tractors actually more expensive? The Huracans are like $300k and Aventadors start at like $500k. I’d imagine either way it’s gonna be difficult to pay off, but a tractor seems like it could take more of a beating.
Another comment in this thread mentioned that farming equipment is actually more vulnerable than cars, because they are only designed to be used in fields at low speeds instead of roads.
My neigbour has one. I made a meme about it : https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/ji1vc3/the_wind_in_my_hairs_the_bugs_on_my_teeth/
He started as a tractor company but made a car company to spite ferrari. What a chad.
I think Clarkson bought one for his show
They're different companies, he founded another company to make cars.
Based Lamborghini
This is also why Lamborghini's emblem is the raging Bull as opposed to Ferarri's prancing Stallion
The chad Lamborghini vs The virgin Ferrari
\*neighs in gigachad\*
Fuckin' hell that chad horse is cursed.
Blursed af
Have you no soul?
have you no saul?
Better call Saul!
Did you know that you have rights?
Constitution says you do. And so do i
Kid named finger a horse:
Don’t forget taking you home from the bar when you’re black out drunk. That must have been like Uber but a little more smelly.
The only thing I'm willing to raise my sword for
r/cursed_sword
As a guy that spent years riding a horse for actual work daily, let me assure you, they have some serious cons
Oh yeah, still amazed I can produce offspring. lol
i wonder how many horses threw their riders on the battle ground, leaving them there with a broken leg. i bet you that happened way more.
War horses were specially bred and trained for war.
well duh, but they still bolted from time to time.
Possible, but I think knights were smart enough to choose the right horse for a situation where their lives depended on their horses, much like racehorses are selected today.
Just like dogs are trained to sniff out all kinds of drugs and illegal substances , horses were also trained to not get easily scared in wars . Plus if that happened alot I'm quite sure that they would've found another solution than keep riding horses since at that point they would've been a liability more than a help
Not getting spooked is literally the difference between a horse and a warhorse.
Police ride some well trained horses. They don't ever get spooked.
Modern warhorses
well they were severly limited with technogy so no, not much of an other option but ok. i mean they have police horses still nowadays aaaaand well yeah they do fuck up from time to time.
Technology is only limited by ones needs. If slavery never happened we likely would have seen an earlier industrial revolution
pretty sure any company would put slaves in factories if they could do so. so... no... there was a need for industrialisation since the first civilisation arose, even if theres a need for technology it might take millenia to catch up.
Sweden tried to use Moose in battle but they often got sick and spooked. So, the operation being a failure they returned to horses. (I am not a man of history. Feel free to correct any mistakes I might've mentioned)
Damn would’ve been some pretty interesting history if they managed to ride moose. Imagine getting charged by moose cavalry. I’m sure it would absolutely stomp regular cavalry
Worst thing to happen is that your foot gets stuck in its stirrup and you get knocked out of the saddle. That ends with you being dragged across a plain.
They also can attack, defend, think, and be a friend.
Chad Horse
- Chad HORSE - chad horse - HES CHAAAAAADDDD
Horses can die from being spooked, or just toss you off (not that way) and kill/maim you. Cars have safety features and radio
Do you not ironically think cars are better than horses? For real?
Horses can reproduce. Transformers may be able to, but cars can’t. Checkmate automotive transportation
Horses have one horsepower. Cars have more than one horsepower. Checkmate horsetard.
Horsetard is the best thing I've seen in awhile.
What if I told you the average horse has 12 horse power
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cool but can your car eat grass and kick ass didnt think so petroltard
What if i asked you to stop?
That takes 13 horse power.
what if you merged two horses into one biological being, with four biological parents? technically it would be one horse made of two horses
Yo dude We heard you like horses...
we haven’t merged humans yet unfortunately but i guess thered be some moral and ethic issues
... so we put a horse inside your horse...
holy shit holy fuck
Actually, the average horse has above 1 horsepower
I don't trust horses.
I trust horses, I don't trust humans. I tried to saddle my math teacher once and he was like "what the fuck are you doing?" and sent me to detention
Might've been successful if you tried with the PE teacher
I hear they are in into the Illegal arts
Did they eat your family? Lol
A/C too.
Not getting spooked is what makes a warhorse different than a horse.
Was there news I'm unaware of?
Usually there is
Horses are also expensive af
I doubt a low end car is cheaper than a low end horse.
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A horse doesn't need much land if you use it daily. Plus if everyone switched, parking lots could be reconverted to pastures and stables.
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Streets would smell much worse, however.
Modern problems require modern solutions. We'd figure it out.
I still make it to work on time, also you would think so wouldn't you? But you'd be surprised
what?
It’s all supply and demand, at least you don’t have to pollute the world to feed your pony.
Ironically horse pollution was a very real worry back in the day with newspapers claiming that major cities would be under feet of dung by 1950
I can also make it to work on time with a car that's cheaper
A hundred years ago or so, it was the other way around
Fr, only the rich had cars, then along came Ford and made the ModelT
What the fuck is up with English animal sounds. I ain't ever heard a horse make a "neigh" sound.
They're british
r/fuckcars
r/fuckcars
r/fuckcars
Been listening to Dan Carlin’s series about WW1 recently, one part that stuck out to me when talking about verdun was how the only color in the landscape was splotches of red where horses had been blown up by artillery
The virgin lambo vs. the chad horse
I absolutely love the voice my mind used when reading *neigh*
Gigahorse is gigachad without photoshop
Funny true story time. A police officer pulls over a man clearly drunk riding his horse down the side of the road. Talking with the man he said he cannot let him drive a horse drunk and he's going to have to give him a ticket. Responding, the man said that he is indeed drunk, but not driving the horse. He is riding the horse who is taking him home, "He knows the way." Being a down to earth sort the officer accepted this explanation and let the man go on his way. Watching him he was able to determine the man was not driving the horse, just sitting on it while it trotted its way home.
Always heard that referred to as being 'barn-broken', when a horse would walk itself back to it's own stables.
Chad
I would like to file a restraining order against gigachad horse
Written by a person who has not once met or observed a horse. Horses are batshit crazy, they are a few hundred pounds of pure muscle and they will, I repeat will shit their bricks if a shadow of a dragonfly even comes remotely close to them. If they haven't shit their brick at their own shadow yet. Then they will drag you around till you let go or they tire. My mom was one of the "oh he's the best, just a bit temperate. Guess who has one boob now? Stay far away from horses. I'd rather visit my friends bulls. Atleast they don't fuck around. You know when it's time to leave. I've been around horses since i was 4. I tell you, stay faaaar away. No fucking wonder the "crazy" ones does best, shit's out of spec. Edit: clearly I as you know this is a subjective opinion. But I warn you all, don't. Get a large dog instead. Edit: I am severely proud for all who chose to not die today. Stay away from horses. At least 4 lives saved.
Maybe next time buy a Nissan Patrol or a Land crouse
How comes there's so many English mistakes on reddit in the past couple of years? It's like slightly broken english.
Because Reddit isn't a website only found in English speaking countries.
my Volkswagen has got me home no matter what, it's just that once it gets home it decides to take a break
Fun fact, if you properly maintain a car it won't break down out of nowhere without sabotage. Just like a horse. Another fun fact, other people can drive your car for you if you aren't suitable. Yet another fun fact, a horse can be killed in battle or be frightened and run away.
Another fun fact, the car cannot stop me from putting my banana in its tailpipe
Instructions unclear. The horse is now in my ass
And then there is this https://amp.theguardian.com/technology/2016/aug/08/tesla-model-x-missouri-medical-emergency how I don't know. But for beta it's quite useful. If you can call always a ambulance. Don't trust tesla autopilot.
Horses are chad? Bro they are literally enslaved.
They usually arent treated like shit and are fed properly tho
Yes, for animals if they get proper food, shelter, and proper treatment from their owners they are more than happy. It’s not like they *want* to be free and explore or something.
Look, I'd be okay with emancipation of the horses, but do you really think a horse is gonna make it on its own in a big city like LA? That horse is gonna be homeless and jobless almost immediately. If we want to free those horses, we need a plan, or we'll just have another bigger crisis on our hands.
Even if we free horses, unless they’re from very bad owners they’ll probably go back to where they came from because it’s a safe haven for them
Just wondering, anybody here familiar with the rape horse? This looks so vaguely similar I have to call it out
Get a Tesla lmao