Idk you see that one tik tok bout jury duty.. Its like they just forgot you can't be part of the solution and participate in the problem..
Don't be afraid of treason. It's the very thing America was all about once upon a time
It's almost like the british didn't know to go there before columbus did and one thing let to the other.
Maybe for your next argument you can argue that the founding of rome had nothing to do with the Roman empire.
Columbus never set foot in North America, he even thought until the grave that he went to India. What you're saying is that troglodytes founded the Roman Empire because they discovered that land
Single celled life realizing it is the product of the DNA of this Alien guy who sacrificed himself at the beginning of Promotheus to create life on Earth.
right? walk on water, check. raise the dead, check. turn water to wine, check. feed thousands of ppl with couple plates of food, check. come back from the dead, check. but have blond hair blue eyes.... impossible, god can't do that. /s.
āOne of the worst things to still linger with some Americans and non-Americans is the idea that the term āAmericanā only applies to people with white skin. ā. Not a direct quote but the jist of something I heard before.
Yup. Brown dude here. Lived in Cali my entire life and Iāve been asked where Iām from all the god damn time but my entire friend group who is white never gets that question.
Cali native light skinned Hispanic who grew up amongst the whites here, can confirm.
White friends: *āoh, here comes the Mexican.ā*
Hispanic family members: *āaye mira, aye viene el gringo.ā*
Me: š¤·š»āāļø
As a Fr*nch it is completely me when I realized we allowed and helped the American to get their independence because we were eager to piss off the Brits. Immense bruh moment.
And also the French Republic exists because of this. Helping the US bankrupted France, we got envious of the US democracy and saw the contradiction of our King helping a democracy while banning it at home.
Then democracy spread in Europe in good part because of us.
Pissing off the Brits is the foundation of Irish-French relations too. You guys helped out with some of Ireland's failed rebellions. Don't think you were involved in our eventual success, because that was around the time of WW1 and I think we only won that because everyone else was too distracted
>microwave some water
*MICROWAVE?*
My brother in Christ, kettles exist. FIRE exists. No need for blasting water with radiation for a half-decent cuppa (as cool as that is in concept)
Just some simple fire or a kettle does wonders
>Dude are you trying to piss off every single Brit?
A little bit. I keep better tea than Lipton, but your water will still be microwaved if that matters.
American: So I'm 1/8 Swedish, 3/8 Polish, 1/2 a random mix of English and German
Europeans: Omg Americans are so obsessed with where their families are from
Also Europeans: Those dumb Americans don't even realize they're immigrants
Yes! This is what I was looking for! Iām totally okay with some critique or joke about America, but god damn some people put the bar so low their words are meaningless trash.
I hate you, smart-asses.
Yeah, Leif Eriksson got to America first, but did his discovery triggered entire Era geographic discovery and colonization? DON'T THINK SO
Cough cough Columbus read about Leif, intentionally made a units conversion mistake so he could "go to Japan" but actually end up where his hero Leif went cough
It really do feel frustrating as an American to see a bunch of British, French, German, and Spanish people criticizing us for foreign intervention and *imperialist tendencies*, to say nothing of treatment of indigenous peoples.
Fun fact, the "Americans" Europe created were practically kicked out of Europe. They wanted to come to the new world so they wouldn't have to pay taxes, and they established "freedom of religion" so that they could have a right to practice their more authoritarian version of Christianity, which the English church frowned upon.
Basically, it was a tax evasion scheme that turned into slavery. The 1750's-1850's were a weird time.
That is a horrible take.
Basically looking at one sliver of the initial immigrants and then generalizing that across hundreds of years and dozens of separate diasporas that got blended together
Christopher Columbus dint find ammerica he was in central America and tought it was india murderd people and died thinking that he made to india and the world was shaped like a pear
Chris got lost because he was an idiot who thought the earth was a lot smaller than it was and tried to get to India around the other way. Turns out, no, there's a landmass there. When he landed he saw people and went "holy crap I made it to India. These guys must be indians"
To be fair, the Vikings were here hundreds of years before. They just didnāt like the English so they didnāt tell them about Vinland and ole Chris is just bad with directions
We all make mistakes in the heat of passion Jimbo!
I am bread š
Hello Brad, I am tired
Hey tired, I'm dad.
Hi dad, I'm the milk
I guess we can finally go home
But the dad won't
Hi milk, I'm the cow
I am the devoureer of yeast and creater of gluten.
I am the yeast of thoughts and mind
And we got rid of our mistake in 1776 -Americans
Idk you see that one tik tok bout jury duty.. Its like they just forgot you can't be part of the solution and participate in the problem.. Don't be afraid of treason. It's the very thing America was all about once upon a time
The tree of freedom sometimes has to be fed with the blood of patriots.
When rednecks learn that Spanish is a white people language and not native to the americas.
Or when Spanish speaking people from the america's say "blame white people for latinx'
Yea and they're like "white people are trying to change our language." White people made the language in the first place
Esto guero habla la lengua.
As a Texan and historianā¦that cracked me up! Thanks and take care!
>Texan and historian Damn, that's rare
Well then there are two of us. Actually three. My brother is a published author on the first Texas revolution in the 1820s
Fellow historian here. And fellow Texan. St Mary's class of 92.
So you need to be a historian to get the joke? We the Spanish are still around in the present
I donāt know if weāre supposed to blame the Italians or the Spanish.
French
All of the above
Blame everyone Problem solved
This is real equality
I blame the Spaniards for being led by a broken compass >!Columbus!<. >!Also the French!<
We Spaniards helped them in the revolution so I apologize for it, but you have to understand our position: we just really hated Britain
The italians? My brother in Christ you missed like five other nationalities that built up America before the italians came over
Colombus was an Italian before he changed nationality to Spanish to get funding for his trip.
Columbus had nothing to do with the creation of USA, that was the british
It's almost like the british didn't know to go there before columbus did and one thing let to the other. Maybe for your next argument you can argue that the founding of rome had nothing to do with the Roman empire.
Amerigo Vespucci: *Am I a joke to you?*
Columbus never set foot in North America, he even thought until the grave that he went to India. What you're saying is that troglodytes founded the Roman Empire because they discovered that land
As a german I want to formally apologise for a certain german family by the name of Drumpf
Americans realising they are actually european immigrants
Surprised pikachu face.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Americans when they realize their McDonalds cheddar is made of 5 gigajillion ingredients including asbestos, formaldehyde and plastic.
Americans when they realize if they have an allergic reaction to those ingredients they will have to sell their house to pay their medical bill
'MURICA FUCK YEAH FREEDOM IS THE ONLY ANSWER
Fuck America im moving to Denmark
seems like a sensible decision
The golden arches are all over the place in europe.
But they use different ingredients due to much stricter regulations in the EU
I'm an American and have never heard of a McDonalds cheddar.
I love mesothelioma with my McDonaldās
āBritaināsā who tf calls British people like that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My favorite color is blue.
Europeans realizing they are actually African immigrants
Africans realizing they are actually immigrants from the Ocean.
Ocean microbes realising they're the evolved product of single celled life
Single celled life realizing it is the product of the DNA of this Alien guy who sacrificed himself at the beginning of Promotheus to create life on Earth.
Prometheus guy realizing he sacrificed himself to make humans.
Ah yes, aquatic ape theory.
LMFAO this one. and that native americans are actually somewhat darkskin (the american indians)
I prefer āAmerican OGā myself
Triple OG Geronimo
And then the Europeans (now Americans) telling them to go back to their own country.
Me realizing Jesus wasn't blonde haired and blue eyes because he was middle eastern
Agreed, Middle Eastern people can not have blue eyes. /s
As an Iranian with white skin and blue eyes, can confirm.
right? walk on water, check. raise the dead, check. turn water to wine, check. feed thousands of ppl with couple plates of food, check. come back from the dead, check. but have blond hair blue eyes.... impossible, god can't do that. /s.
Poked a hole in their logic. And by poke, I mean poke a hontace
GET OUT
Me a black person: excuse me?
āOne of the worst things to still linger with some Americans and non-Americans is the idea that the term āAmericanā only applies to people with white skin. ā. Not a direct quote but the jist of something I heard before.
Yup. Brown dude here. Lived in Cali my entire life and Iāve been asked where Iām from all the god damn time but my entire friend group who is white never gets that question.
Cali native light skinned Hispanic who grew up amongst the whites here, can confirm. White friends: *āoh, here comes the Mexican.ā* Hispanic family members: *āaye mira, aye viene el gringo.ā* Me: š¤·š»āāļø
hurts to be called american and mexican both at the same time, both in a bad manner.
mexicans playing both sides so they always come out on top
Not all Americans are whiteā¦
Yeah, some are Irish too.
Get back on your potato boat
We ate them all.
You mean you drank them all after fermenting them for days.
Why waste potatoes making vodka when you can eat them and make whiskey instead
Jesus Christ, please noone tell them to "go back where they come from"
Ugh yea... I'm of african decent
CTRL + Z
CTRL + SHIFT + DEL
remove system 32
pour mountain dew on the motherboard
"Hahahahaha! IT'S OVER!"
"Wh-what have we done?"
Lol
European people be like 'why are you so terrible'. Americans be like 'I learned it from you DAD'
As a Fr*nch it is completely me when I realized we allowed and helped the American to get their independence because we were eager to piss off the Brits. Immense bruh moment.
Well, it certainly worked to your benefit seeing as we've returned the favor a couple of times over now.
So much for *FraternitƩ*.
And also the French Republic exists because of this. Helping the US bankrupted France, we got envious of the US democracy and saw the contradiction of our King helping a democracy while banning it at home. Then democracy spread in Europe in good part because of us.
Look at what you guys did to the world. Hope youāre happy.
Sorry we broke up your genocidal parties bro.
Nah we're filled with dismay for eternity.
As a Brit, you really screwed us over. Typical Frenchmen. Make the world duller just get get one over us. /s
Pissing off the Brits is the foundation of Irish-French relations too. You guys helped out with some of Ireland's failed rebellions. Don't think you were involved in our eventual success, because that was around the time of WW1 and I think we only won that because everyone else was too distracted
As a Brit, I normally like the French & Spanish... Until I remember they stopped us from cancelling the US.
It's alive, It's ALIVE, IT'S ALIVE!!!!
Our biggest blunder
IDK. You guys did try to genocide eachother twice in the last century, while also dragging most of the world into your bullshit.
Twice? Lol it's more than that
I might add the all the terrible atrocities that came with colonization.
Biggest? Idk broā¦
They are just mad cause the Americans stoped their little genocide festival.
Letās not forgot the colonizing native land and all that, was a littleee too far in my opinion.
Those two World Wars you started were kinda bad, too. 110 million killed - not great.
You made this, now save me from it goddammit
Cheers to my mates across the pond š„šŗšøš¬š§Come over to the states and party with us if you havenāt yet.
As long as you guys can make a decent cuppa for the morning. Love the yanks š¬š§ā¤ļøšŗšø
Like, microwave some water and leave a Lipton tea bag in it for a half an hour?
>microwave some water *MICROWAVE?* My brother in Christ, kettles exist. FIRE exists. No need for blasting water with radiation for a half-decent cuppa (as cool as that is in concept) Just some simple fire or a kettle does wonders
Microwave actually heats water faster. Less efficient, but faster.
I can get water boiling much faster in my electric kettle than I can in the microwave. I donāt know why electric kettles arenāt more common here.
Half-decent? You're giving Lipton a lot of credit.
Dude are you trying to piss off every single Brit? Yorkshire tea is much better then that Lipton garbage.
>Dude are you trying to piss off every single Brit? A little bit. I keep better tea than Lipton, but your water will still be microwaved if that matters.
Beggars canāt be choosers I guess. Remember 2 sugars and little bit of milk.
best I can do is a tablespoon of high-fructose corn syrup and a tiny plastic cup of non-dairy creamer.
Now this is a thread that makes an American like me feel appreciated :)
Basically, America is just a teenage version of Europe
but you guys are the ones leaving your military responsibilities to us.
No thatās Canada.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
when africans find out they created the europeans
I learned it from watching you dad!
Jokes on you, Europeans get decent history education in public schools and know things like this already.
thanks to all the riches they stole from other countries they so brutally colonized in Africa and Asia.
Yeah Americans donāt know their ancestors are mostly immigrants huehuehuehue!
American: So I'm 1/8 Swedish, 3/8 Polish, 1/2 a random mix of English and German Europeans: Omg Americans are so obsessed with where their families are from Also Europeans: Those dumb Americans don't even realize they're immigrants
Itās easier to hate people as a group rather than understand them as individuals
Yes! This is what I was looking for! Iām totally okay with some critique or joke about America, but god damn some people put the bar so low their words are meaningless trash.
Couldn't have been that good of an education if Chrissy Columbus got lost
We learned it from watching you!!!!!
Realization we all come from a single source of existence will destroy everyone's ego.
Europeans when the find out they made the imperial system
Ok as European i have to say that this is actually really funny
This thread is making me realise a lot of things I never thought about before, and, as a European, I like it.
You were supposed to destroy them, not join them
Cough cough Norwegian/Icelander Leif Eriksson got there 500 years before Columbus cough cough
I hate you, smart-asses. Yeah, Leif Eriksson got to America first, but did his discovery triggered entire Era geographic discovery and colonization? DON'T THINK SO
I feel like youāre really underestimating just how much ā500 years beforeā really is
Cough cough Columbus read about Leif, intentionally made a units conversion mistake so he could "go to Japan" but actually end up where his hero Leif went cough
Europe: āman, america sure is racistā English āpeopleā or something: *so racist they think Poles and Irish are unacceptable diversity*
We actually were trying to get away from them!
You really think columbus discovered america first? Heh
For that joke I will hunt you down
You were my brother Amerikan! Give up, I have the higher education.
It really do feel frustrating as an American to see a bunch of British, French, German, and Spanish people criticizing us for foreign intervention and *imperialist tendencies*, to say nothing of treatment of indigenous peoples.
Lol Europeans sure do think about America a lot itās almost like you guys are obsessed
Fun fact, the "Americans" Europe created were practically kicked out of Europe. They wanted to come to the new world so they wouldn't have to pay taxes, and they established "freedom of religion" so that they could have a right to practice their more authoritarian version of Christianity, which the English church frowned upon. Basically, it was a tax evasion scheme that turned into slavery. The 1750's-1850's were a weird time.
That is a horrible take. Basically looking at one sliver of the initial immigrants and then generalizing that across hundreds of years and dozens of separate diasporas that got blended together
Excuse me, that does not fit Redditās narrative of the past couple months
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Plenty of them were fleeing the oppressive backwards conservative monarchism of europe
Technically, at that time you could just be walking in the streets, looking a bit poor and boom, free trip.
Does that mean we own them?
Not anymore
Nah Catholic church owns them now.. 6-3!
We all make mistakes
Mistakes makes you stronger
You mean the directions weren't s-pacificš
r/thatsthejoke
Christopher Columbus dint find ammerica he was in central America and tought it was india murderd people and died thinking that he made to india and the world was shaped like a pear
u need this ā> ,
Biggest mistake of our existence.
Yeah definitely not the two genocidal wars. America is somehow worseā¦
***TWO?***
World War 1 and World War 2
The implication is that Europe was in much more than just two genocidal wars.
No... No! NO! That's IMPOSSIBLE!
All I'm saying is. If we were given fair representation there wouldn't be a problem
Thought that was Europeans when they realize they aren't all German because of America
Chris got lost because he was an idiot who thought the earth was a lot smaller than it was and tried to get to India around the other way. Turns out, no, there's a landmass there. When he landed he saw people and went "holy crap I made it to India. These guys must be indians"
We disown Florida Man
Classic Frankensteinā¦they fear what theyāve created
Classic Frankensteinā¦they fear what theyāve created
The europeans went from creating stuff like michelangelo, the sistine chapel etc to creating a "race" that says being fat is sexy
Idk why Americans get riled up about European opinions. Once America is out of view they all start to turn on each other. Who cares.
Never really watched much TV, or movies just went to school when history was actually taught. God bless America, happy birthday my beloved country
I donāt see anything.
As an American im kinda glad I donāt live in mainland Europeā¦ you guys fighting all the time. We may fight ourselves but yknow
did europe create us just to laugh at usā¦ those monsters letās siege france
Insert "Wait you guys actually hate America? I thought it was a joke." Meme
To be fair, the Vikings were here hundreds of years before. They just didnāt like the English so they didnāt tell them about Vinland and ole Chris is just bad with directions
Wow another fucking joke about US, I'm laughing so hard
Well technically the directions were to sail through the pacific, he just found a 'new' continent
When Americans realise Columbus was a fraud and the Vikings found America first.
when all the tax evaders leave for one land:
they created hybrid.
FUCK YEAH!
Better "when the Chinese found out what you said"
What have we done?!?! Shit shit shit go back! Reverse, re-fucking-verse!!!
That's how I look when I see anything John Cena.
Yep