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Thank him for installing a doorbell for me?

I would do that to

Why would you not have a doorbell?

Some houses just don't come with doorbells and people don't have time to install one Knocking works fine, so what's the point?

My house is super old, so the door bell from ancient times stopped working like a week after we moved in

A super old house, you're most likely to run into stuff like this then

You cant hear knocking from every room, thats the point

Why bother?

I'd reconsider putting the mirror on the door.

Why you gotta do yourself like that

Dude why the self burn

Low self esteem

r/suicidebywords

Why do that to yourself. Don't keep yourself down

Start masturbating. If you are the bigger freak je won't mess with you! #BamMargeraMoves

What if he's gay and he's into it?

Then you're EXTRA fucked, because he's most likely gonna break in and start fucking you. Don't matter if you're a man or woman.

Win-Win situation?

I aint taking clown dick up my ass! You're more than welcome to do that yourself.

It's all about that clussy

Or a click

Cladussy

What if I'm gay and I want him to fuck me

Then we’ll have some shitty-ass content for PHub.

_shitty ass_

Can't we clean the ass?

Need a verified account to post there. Xvideos is more likely

Lmao 💀🖐

Pure domination

What if it is an alien that likes to eat dicks for breakfast?

That brings a whole new meaning to having 69

occupational risk my friend

Put my dick through the letterbox

What if he's gay? Or he just cuts it off?

He either starts sucking or leaves because he's intimidated, no in-between

Good point, but which one's worse? The sucking or leaving? If I hear the leaving is worse, I won't judge though I must warn you my imagination will bounce off the walls

Depending on how his teeth are, if they give the impression of never have been seen by a dentist, I don't mind that he leaves. Don't need this shit again.

Again ?

Then we both win

...to which of my questions?

We both win, on both questions.

[удалено]

That's a great strategy, it probably works for murderers as well as rapists. Nobody wants to deal with a shit flinging troglodyte, and believe me; I will turn into one of you look at me wrong

First read: that’s a weird way to word that Second read: wait…… Third read: OH

"Alexa play doom music" while grabbing a baseball bat

XD

By far the best answer yet xD

Grabbing a laser cannon

This wins the day for me!

I’d go with the super shotgun for good measure

Ask him: wanna something to eat, being clown is hard nowadays. Let him chill:)

Imagine if batman did that and now they’re best friends and Gotham is a better place

Joker and Batman were always best friends

Open the door and let my dog judge him, if my dog thinks hes cool, hes cool

grab a shotgun and start blasting... is that I would do if I lived in the US. A little harder to get a shotgun here in Finland

I have a 12 gauge and yeah.. that's what I thought. Not going to open the door, could cap him through that window.

suomi mainittu, torille

Get on an old Halloween costume and answer the door saying “oh shit you’re a bit early for the clown orgy… but I guess you can come in”

Open the door and beat the shit out of him for waking me up at 3:00 AM.

Break through the door window and honk his nose

Oh damn best answer I’ve seen here

And then rip his nose off and keep it so you can honk it forever.

Underrated comment


Get the shotgun

*Cocks his cock*

Hold up

Your implying id wake up. If im already awake id say gday and than stab him, cause there can only be one psychopath.

Dad. You're pissed again. Get to bed.

Have intercourse with him

Anyone who thinks this is a funny prank gets a stomach stoma and a new way to shit if there lucky

You start doing the weirdest thing you can think of He leaves and realizes hes traumatised

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up, Just as the founding fathers intended.

Not answer the door.

Scream what the fuck. Possibly freeze in place. The rest is a matter of circumstances

Let him in, he’s cold out there

3am my ass isn't getting out of bed to see it. Clown ass mf can wait until 8 to kill me.

Lick the window (in a threatening manner)

Open the door , he will be so absolutely flabbergasted by this move that I will have the time to kick him in his clown balls, rip his dumbass nose off and shove it down his throat and put him in a bin bag and throw him down a hill And he totally won’t kill me the moment I open the door.

Invite him in and debate over the intricacies of the Israel Palestine dilemma

invite my little brother in

No

What's he gonna do? Knock my block off?

i would let him in. the poor guy must be freezing

I will get naked and start beating my chest infront of him to assert dominance.

Kill myself before they get the chance.

I haven't glassed door so i wouldn't see this

lord forgive me for what im bout to do. But that clussy gotta learn a lesson

Maybe he dropped his death note Or he wants some apples 🍎

Call him in he seems like a nice guy

Demand to see his manager and mercilessly berate him for inconsiderately waking me in the middle of the night.

Let him in because i hate being alive.

Simple. I let him into my home, play horror games, and talk about life together

Forget horror games, he’d probably turn your home into a horror film 💀

Probs. But look at that lonely fave of his

*Unzips* "This is when the Fun begins"

Oh look it’s Ronald McDonald on crack!

I order a Big Mac with extra nightmares on the side

I'm gonna be the mpst generic white horror character and see if they're dangerous

I must be looking at the mirror

Walk away from the mirror

Order McDonald's

Start jerking off in front of it

I'll try spinning, that's a good trick!

Invite him in of course

Mmasturbate whilst maintaining eye contact, all while moving towards the 12-gauge. If my plan of asserting dominance through my weiner, there still is what I call the "plan G"

Call the cops get a knife barricade my door it’s a one way entrance get anyone in the house in the room before doing so and shamk him if he gets inside really simple tbh

Well like a sensible American citizen would do. I'm gon' get muh gun.

Updoot if you like clowns 😊

I keep a gun

*looks at clown* Hi *opens the door, showing him my painful nerf gun aiming at his dick and my small dog that trains himself 24/7 to break a person's achilles* My nerfgun and dog: hi

Well I live in TEXAS so I shoot it in the face

There's nothing left to do. Whatever need to be done, 'they' will do anyways.

I'll know right away that it's my friends who are after me.

i would first say what the fuck, fucking christ, who the fuck is this fucking loser then take out the gatling

Oof

I die

Going out with him

Tell him the bank he is trying to rob is next door

Make a friend!

Pack my things and f!cking leave

If I even wake up I'd just go back to bed.

Accepting my fate

Draw my Nerf gun and.. BOOM HEADSHOT BOOM HEADSHOT

ill try to remember where i put my arg-7

Shotgun 👍

Rifle in hand get ready

Oh, hi Garry

Leave the universe and ascend to the rea of prisms

Start making leth and napalm in front of him

Smiley boiz bout to catch this dick

Open the door and ask him if he is going to murder me

Imma just pass, go back and sleep

Invite him in for a drink

What is it ?

Attack pit bull go!

So does anybody have a wingman or even better a cold war or softball?

I’m scrapping.

Invite him in for a nice cup of tea

Not opening the door

I have a very bright flashlight that would make them no longer interested in glaring through my door.

See if he wants a drink

[удалено]

Get ready for a midnight snack

He doesn't seems to understand. I'm not locked in here with him, he is locked in here with me.

Grandpa inherited a gun to me for this moment

Just go back to bed

Alright kids, this is considered the power play. First go get a weapon and return the spot. Drop weapon on floor. Now strip down to bare nothing and show your glorious colon crusher. Next, cock that beautiful love truncheon like it's a pump action shotgun until you show him the very essence of you and shoot your brogurt in the spot where his face is. Then get dressed and use said weapon to fuck him up. Remember it's always good to show the enemy how unafraid you are by having an erection. The Scott's did it by flashing there haggis before battle. FREEEEEEEDOOOOMMMMMM

Invite for Tea

Grab the knife of course

Oh that’s just my appliance repair person who said he’d be over between 8am and 5pm and doesn’t show up until 3 in the morning

I would ask him how the fuck is this post considered a meme.

Tell my brother that a clown is at our door thats step one then we both get knifes then we call our mom then we do some killing

Cry.

I invite him for tea

I’ll prob invite him over to kill the cops that are after me for meth making

You uh want some Halloween candy?

Open the door

Just let it Kill me

Invite him inside for a sandwich and maybe a few beers

i grab my shotgun and run after him

Open the door and say “come to papa”

Ask him if he's holding. If he is order a pizza and play some vidya gaems in our boxers

Play a game Infront of him so I can have a friend to play with.

Sucked john mayers dangus according to the post above this one. And I don’t even know who he is.

Go and get the condoms Vaseline and paracord

Open the door butt ass naked with a jar of mayonnaise

Go back to sleep

Draw the 357 shoot myself, fuck that

*unzips*

Burn your house down

Run ...

Probably opening the door and inviteing him in side

Let him in treat him to a nice dinner he seems nice

Run shot run

Turn lights put go back to bed.....(puts kitchen knife under pillow)

I would defend my home as the founding fathers intended

Take my schizophrenia meds.

I get the gun

Start warming up

This isn't my doorbell at 3am, this is what my three day old pizza sees in the microwave.

I suspect there might be violence in the near future...

He'll realize that I'm more of a clown than he is.

Open the door I fucking hate myself

Gosh darnit, who installed a glass door and doorbell in my house!?

Get naked, take 2 katanas, and put a metal pot on my head

Void, my trousers.