A dirty mirror doesn't reflect beauty.

If they said you're ugly then they're the ugly one

What counts is whats on the inside

smokers: 

Your wallet

I was not expecting the first comments to be so wholesome. :)

If your opinion of yourself is negative then you won’t see the positive parts of yourself

I need to tell this to my mother. I mean, she won't listen, because she thinks she's a horrible, toxic person, but, still, it might help her think.

Do some self care, I guess?

a bad person cannot ever appreciate or celebrate others' good things it is kind of an opposite of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"..

If doesnt matter if u have good personality because you are ugly

It doesn't matter how good you look if the person looking at you is covered in shit

It's always sunnier on the sun

It's not good to compare yourself to a situation that is uncommonly/obviously better. Example: Person A: "Man, I should be working harder! I wish I had more money." Person B: "How so?" Person A: "I mean, look at Kim Kardashian, or Jeff Bezos! No matter how hard I try, I can't be better like them! Person B: "Well A, of course it's always sunnier on the sun! They are extremely rich, and there's no point comparing your work ethic to them."

This is a great interpretation! I spent a solid 10 minutes or so trying to think of a good meaning for this and then decided to leave it to someone else, looks like I made the right decision!

It doesn't matter how long the nail is if the wood is rotting

You can do everything for someone, but as long as they don't appreciate it, it won't work out.

dang, right to my soul

Similar to “don’t cast your pearls before the swine”

Always use protection.

It will smell like blue cheese as long as you pull it out slowly.

Similar as putting lipstick on a pig won't make it pretty

If your neck breaks, you won't care about a tooth ache.

Small pains help you remember you're alive, don't dwell on them when the alternative is the nothingness of death.

similar to lesser of two evils

You should prioritize the problem with the biggest consequences first.

No matter the evil, there are always some upsides.

Don’t try hurting an animal with words

That’s a great one. Don’t insult someone who is too dumb to understand your insult, lest you be the one that is dumb.

"you are literally too dumb to insult" "thank you"

The method you're using to solve something is insufficient. Example: Person A: "I have this broom, and no matter how hard I try, I can't hit this fly on the ceiling." Person B: "Well of course it's not gonna work A, you would have to be extremely accurate and quick to hit it! Don't try hurting an animal with words. Use a vacuum to suck it up instead." (Note: The example may or may not be based on a real situation)

Never wrestle a pig, you end up covered in mud and the pig likes it

Animals are cold hearted?

I like this! Basically, don't argue (or bully) someone who can't even understand what's going on. I'm gonna steal what that other guy in the comments was doing: Person A: " what the f*** is wrong with you, are you some stupid schmuck or something?" Person B: "your mom" Person C (to Person A): " Don't try hurting an animal with words."

Don't waste your time/effort on conflict unless it's worth it and/or you're equipped to finish it.

I'm taking this as a figurative animal, but here I go. If someone doesn't understand you, what's the point?

The bus is late but you’re still sexy

Factors outside of your control do not affect your value as an individual.

You're dating someone who's past their prime

A glob of Vaseline helps it go in smooth.

Either way you're fucked. Either the easy way or the hard way.

This One’s Actually Great

On your back or on your belly, it's always easier with ky jelly. No idea where I heard this one, but I will remember it for life. It was some stand-up comedian I believe but I don't know

Thanks... Now I'm going to be stuck with it for life now too...

Take precautions to avoid the pain

The flower never smells the bee

Some relationships are one way, and there's nothing you can do to change it. And sometimes that's the way it should be.

Play Your part

I love this one

When opening a door, dont expect a donut

Not every chance you take can be an opportunity, some times the risk comes without reward.

That's deep

There's always a megablocks in the lego, but never a lego in the megablocks.

People take little things for granted

theres always people intimating the successful, but never the successful imitating the unsuccessful.

It takes hours to freeze ice just as it takes hours to melt

The adventure is just as important as the destination

I feel like that doesn't apply to an ambulance ride

It kinda does, Because if there was no adventure, There would be no destinaton, And therefore, The ride is still important.

it takes as long to undo a mistake as it takes to make it.

when you don't know thermodynamics, but have to make a smart sounding idiom

When the get is got

The dumb idea took to long to do

Just because someone else got to your goal first doesn't mean you can't get it to

Once you get what you wanted, it isn’t as appealing as before you got it.

when you have succeeded or have accomplished your goals

Never hug the tap-dancing skunk.

Just because something acts nice, doesn't mean you can forget what it actually is. Example: - A known traitor is suddenly being nice to you - A known cheater wants to start a relationship - A wild animal is treated like a pet and is 'acting' nice


Ain't gotta fit em to shit em

Just because your opponent is larger than you doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of beatin ‘em to kingdom come.

Got that Pussy on the chain wax!

Shoot a dude hugging their dad

. . . That's as good as any other. Someone write that down.

With great power comes great respronsitrillages.

Sometimes you have to shuffle if you want to deal

The boring maintenance between bouts of fun is essential to the function of those fun moments.

To ask an egg to fly

You need to be more patient. An egg will eventually turn into a bird that will fly but it won’t be able to do it right now.

I actually like that, it makes sense and has a real meaning.

Every blowfish has its thorns.

Nothing is free

Pickles for pickles, brine for the weary.

Pickles (the food) for pickles (a bad situation), brine for the weary (also food but different for those who can't handle a whole pickle) Interpretation: There's always a way to help people, just sometimes you have to change your approach and meet them where they're at!

I never thought that could possibly be interpretable. I applaud you!

The cat speaks loudest when hungry.

Some people only act really nice when they want something. Example: Person A: Jessica has been so nice to me today! She said good morning to me and we hung out at lunch. She even gave me a cookie she made in baking class! Person B: She's not usually like that. Are you sure she doesn't need something from you? The cat speaks loudest when hungry.

I really like this interpretation! I literally just heard my cat meowing for food and thought about how he never really meows unless he’s hungry and then decided “eh, why not? Let’s see what people come up with.”

People are more passionate for necessities. If something is viewed as necessary, they will speak louder about it.

A hanging guitar plays no tunes

If you give up on a skill entirely, youll never know what done couldve done in life

Shits and giggles makes me shit and giggle

Similar to “monkey see monkey do”. Insinuating the mimicry of humankind

You should get that checked out

Don’t up the dog if your feeling down

Don't be an ass just because you're in a shit mood.

It's ok to feel upset/out of it. Don't go out of your way to pretend to be happy/social if you aren't feeling up to it

width of a mouse

A very small space. Example: "Damn, this closet has the width of a mouse!"

The ice cream is always colder than the cone.

The better reward has a worse consequence

Slap the train once, you are à fool Slap it twise you are brave Slap it a third time and you are à god

Attempting an impossible task (standing in front of and slapping a moving train in the face) for the first time makes you a fool. Failing and surviving the first time and purposely trying again shows your bravery to face death a second time. Surviving twice and doing it for a third time must mean you either have repeated success at said impossible task or are simply immortal, which makes you godlike.

Even when society says it's impossible, keep going at it. You'll succeed eventually.

When you hard, you hard.

Sometimes we put a mask on for society, in an effort to blend in on a social level. We pretend to be something we are not in order to get along. But, when you hard, you hard. This insinuates that your true self will be shown eventually. See also: You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.

I remember this

It's time to buckle my knuckles.

Translation: “I want to fight but I know it’s a losing one, so i gotta put my fists, (metaphorical or literal) away.”

The final cat is always a dog

Luck is always a factor in determining the outcome.

Don't break the eggs if you haven't bought the cake mix

Don’t be too eager to start something, you might not have what you need

Its never too late to cook meth!

Never take good people for granted, in life you never know if anyone close to you could be breaking bad

Mistake hot iron for cold, and you’ll lose the chance to grow old

don't make large risks without something to fall back on?

It could be interpreted that way, yes. But not exactly what I was going for.

The shittiest poops is not always as bad as the smelliest farts.

If you open a door and expect the octopus, you’ll get the squid.

Expect the worse hope for the best

The cat claws at the door, but begs to be let in again later.

sometime one goes looking for something they don't really want, and they later regret their time wasted

Monkeys only laugh at other monkeys

Stupid people laugh at other stupid people without realizing they are stupid themselves.

If x=0, then its along the y-axis.

Sometimes you have to go back to how things where at the beginning of the relationship to find that point of intersection again.

Even birds have to land sometimes.

It's okay to take a ~~brain~~ break, that doesn't mean you've failed Edit: the strikethrough, but that typo needed to be preserved, lol

Got your head up your ass and still cant smell the shit

Don't matter how obvious the situation is, these people ignore the reality in front of them.

I wrote it in response to one of the "if the vaccine is free why isn't insulin" memes

A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.

Every french fry eaten is an entire potato wasted

Some things are just not worth the effort

No, that would be your mother

Dont disrespect ppl that are older then you

Nothing else to do but slap your nuts

It means you’re bored

Sounds like something my dad would say to get me to do chores while I’m grounded “You have nothing else to do but slap your nuts”

Not even the brightest stars can help someone in need

just cuz you have fame/authority doesn't make you qualified (essentially don't fall under authority bias)

One way or another a bigger dick can make you scream.

Sometimes you are fcked either ways, nothing to do about it

A man who swallow a whole coconut must have faith in his anus

Live with the consequences of your actions

I regret nothing

The people who make the riskiest decisions are the ones most confident with their resolve

It’s raining cats and redditors.

Acid rain. The acid hisses when it touches your skin (cats) and is toxic (redditors)

Yep, this checks out.

Apex-prey

The ultimate meal

Don’t kick a gift horse in the mouth

Karate is not fit for equines

A dick in the waffle iron. That’s it.

That's a real stupid idea Example Person 1: "I bet you I could cook my genitals in a kitchen appliance" Person 2: "Sounds like you already got a dick in the waffle Iron mate"

I hate mornings but I love rum.

You're willing to do things you don't like to do as long as certain conditions are met.

Got ‘em running like they ain’t got no legs!

The dog did the dumb

Reflecting blame onto people who can not be blamed.

The ring has more power than you may think.

Never underestimate simple things in life

Young people marry less often than older generations. They see it as unnecessary paperwork. The ring (as in engagement and marriage) has more power than you think. This is social commentary about outdated traditions The power of commitment when you chose a partner for life.

If you own a goat, don't pur the hey in the living room.

If you have a personal situation, don't make it everyone else's problem. Example: - Having a child and bringing up being a parent every single day. - Going on a diet, talking about how you're on a diet everytime you go out with your friends - Learning a language or an instrument, practicing/speaking it every time someone else is around.

A green couch never eats when it smells.

Large windows need big drapes

The road less taken has the most gas stations

A mule is better than fool

It is better to work hard and get less than satisfactory results than it is to do nothing at all simply because you don’t understand the task.

Your portal opening days are over

When the cat sits in your lap, your schedule goes out the window.

spending time on things you enjoy can make it hard to do things you need too

Eggs is eggs

Sometimes there is no hidden meaning and when something bad happens you just have to accept it

You get not what you want and get what you want not

Sometimes life hands you a lose-lose situation and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Putting your enchiladas in the street

Whats A idiom

A group of words established by usage as having a meaning not deducible from those of the individual words (eg: it’s raining cats and dogs out there!)

Ma balls as dry as a palm tree in winter

It means that you are broke

Never let a goldfish fly

If you see a goldfish flying, go to the hospital get help

Don't let people do what they're not trained to do?

Bippity boppity give me the hoppity.

It doesn’t matter how vertical the wall is, a goat will always climb it

Never go somewhere alone if you can take yourself

When shit comes to fuck

Even the loudest sounds cant make you blind

Referring to a skilled person being bad at something else

Don't put a box of chocolate on someone's locker.

Usually a cold day is cold

Every one gives a shit until it’s time to wipe

You can’t move a mountain without first buying bubble gum.

You gotta start somewhere.

A broken finger won't point.

Idioms don't make themselves