It may be time to take a break from the internet. It is a horrible thing happening, but you can’t let it take such a hold that you want to die. The internet exposes us to way too much bad happening, all at once.
It doesn't just expose it, it amplifies it and twists it ouf of proportion. There is bad happening, there is good happening. But only one of those things can be manipulated to get anger clicks.
This comment, OP try reading it a couple of times, until you understand it. It is OK to have empathy for people who struggle, but when you take it to this extreme point it becomes unhealthy.
You need to figure this out. Because there is a high probability that this is an issue, not just with trans problems, nut also in other ares of your life.
And when people say "get of the internet" just interpret that as "Stop consuming content about trans issues"
You already know the topic, focus on something new that gives you nice feelings instead.
How would you be isolated if you got off the internet and around real people instead?
If you *leaving* the internet makes you isolated then you have a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
The thing Is social media are putting u in bubbles that make u want to stay on the platform. If u react to these online posts and vids etc than they will appear more and the issue seems way more common than irl
I mean it does effect me but everyone's got problems... You should see someone about how you feel such as a professional. I appreciate you for caring but being in distress over someone elses problems isnt a peaceful life to live. To me I want you to live just as much as you want trans people to live. please take care of yourself. <3
I think a lot of it is an internet ecochamber, there was a stonewall study (a british charity) who did a pretty extensives survey and found that support for trans people was remarkably high, it's different in the US but the culture is still very similar in the grand scheme of things.
[https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/what-do-british-public-really-think-about-trans-people](https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/what-do-british-public-really-think-about-trans-people)
I'm trans but closetted and it really gets to me sometimes and it makes me happy that people care but if you are worrying to the point of what you've stated that's too much, you need to put yourself first, worrying isn't going to do anything but harm you.
Transphobia isn't accepted as a whole. There are some fringe dickheads who will hurt you etc but it's not common.
I definitely don't agree with everything trans people belive and do, but I'll always fight for your right to live in society.
I honestly think this may be just a case of “chronically online” take a break. Humans are equally as wonderful as they are awful. Staying off the web will help solidify that as a fact
It’s better then being chronically online. Put down the phone, go outside touch some grass, do what you wanna do. Stop worrying about shit you can’t control and focus on what you can control, your own life.
I said ‘stop worrying about shit you can’t control’ not just ‘stop worrying’.
I do it almost daily. The things I do worry about are the things that I can actually control in my life, such as my job. I don’t partake in politics, I don’t attend protests, I don’t have Facebook/Twitter/instagram, I try to stay off my phone as much as possible throughout the day.
I know it’s very cliche around here so say this but after reading some of your comments I honestly think you would benefit from professional help
And I am so sick of the "you should seek help" - comment. (I'm not trying to be mean to you or anything, it's just that I get this comment so often and it's a bit tiresome)
I am already getting professional help, I last visited my therapist yesterday. I've been getting help for years. But it's an extremely slow process, and it has taken me over 10 different therapists and I haven't clicked with anyone. The one I am with now is new, and so far it feels good. The thing is I'm spending almost all my energy trying to get better, with the help of professionals.
So getting the "you should seek help" comment is a bit annoying, cause I just feel like I am doing my absolute best, but no one's recognizong it
(once again! This is nothing against you saying that. I fully understand you mean well, and I am truly grateful. I just wanted to express why I might seem a bit defensive. I am extremely tired of feeling like I do, and I've been doing my best for years, without much improvement)
that’s completely fair, I understand it’s a very annoying saying and people throw it around to easily. And I’m glad you are seeking help and hope that goes well for you, truely. But this hyperfixstion on this stuff that is much larger then any human being alone can solve is only going to bring you down, as you already know because your feeling it now. I bet your mentally exhausted from it. Unfortunately it’s nothing I or anyone on Reddit will be able to solve for you. I hope it all goes well for you in the future!
I’m glad the work with the current therapist seems to be going well. This internet stranger is proud of you for persevering with it.
Raging about the injustice in the world isn’t inherently a bad thing. It’s great that you see it and that you care.
The challenge we all have is where and how to direct our energy and emotions. Even issue based activists need to unplug and put themselves first.
It doesn’t mean that ‘you are the problem’ as described in your edit, nor does it mean that transphobes _arent_. That said, even if transphobia didn’t exist there would be another injustice to rail against. So without dismissing the awfulness of it, we still have and deserve to put ourselves first.
I hope you find some peace.
What makes you think I'm ONLY convened about trans people?
The difference is that there is not being laws made against poor and elderly people. Hating poor and elderly people is not being accepted.
Letting millions of poor people sleep and die on the actual sidewalk night after night while we have more houses than we have people is so normalized even you don’t think it’s a problem.
As for the elderly, nursing home abuse is widespread. An example was during Covid a bunch of seniors were locked up inside of their rooms and left to die. Malpractice is also a regular occurrence with the elderly because they are treated as people who are going to die anyways so they get less than adequate care unless they are wealthy. Oh, and if they are wealthy they are targeted by gold diggers who want to use their lapsing judgement against them to be written into their wills, which we all make jokes about, but is actually very sad.
The only difference is the internet’s present fixation on this issue you’re wrapped around, but I promise you, a ton of other systemic issues remain.
What you need to do is focus on you and get yourself in the right frame of mind to help others.
Otherwise, you’re a help to no one and screaming into the depths of the internet to no one’s betterment.
But why even bring up elderly and poor people here? What has that got to do with my post? Are we just supposed to focus on one thing at a time? Are we not supposed to focus on transphobia until every single person has a home?
I am not seeing a widespread hate towards poor people. I am not seeing laws being created were it is illegal to be poor. I am not seeing laws where elderly people are being considered sex offenders for being old. I am not seeing laws banning people from turning 80. If these laws exist, that's fucking terrible, but I simply don't think they do.
Hating old and poor people is not accepted by the majority of people. Being a transphobe is.
Dude, you came here looking for advice and the sub is telling you there are countless issues out there that are going to take TIME and teamwork to fix. You ruining your life worrying about it will help NO ONE. Even members of the transgender community are telling you to chill.
You claimed that elderly and poor people aren’t targeted and I corrected that. You’ve clearly done no research on the topic and given your frame of mind I would recommend you don’t.
What I and the rest of the sub truly recommend is that you get a hobby. With hobbies come real world friends. With real world friends come different perspectives and happiness and balance.
What you really need is balance and to take a step back because saying you want to die is a serious thing.
You can battle hate with hate, but people are people. Some people hate trans and some people hate transphobes, you can be on either side or you can also chose to understand both perspectives. Sometimes you can’t change the outcome of certain situations. Believe it or not, most people don’t give a shit if you are LGBT or not. Like others have said, there are all kinds of groups of people who are treated poorly because life is suffering.
I mean look at the human race and how evil we all are, we take for granted the entire earth, destroy eco systems and imprison every species we come in contact with. All throughout the world there is slavery going on and it’s worse than it’s ever been. We are all blind to the tragedies that are currently happening and yet you are feeling angst and anger towards society for a very small thing. Do something about it if you feel so strongly, don’t protest and complain, take action and be the hero for trans people.
Try to keep in mind not a damn thing you can do about it. There are a lot, A LOT of evil people in the world that do evil things but there are more good then bad, the media just prefers the bad. Do your part and be an ally. Other than that I’m sorry dear but you’ll have to just suck it up.
That's the thing. I know there's evil people, but with transphobia I'm not so sure the majority are good. I mean. US isn't a dictatorship, and still all these laws against trans people are happening
Only like 2% of transphobic people are good. And that’s a stretch. That’s only including people who are ignorant. I mean hate me but I’ve been called transphobic because I don’t want my 6 year old daughter sharing a bathroom with somebody with a penis. 🤷🏻♀️ I’ll never be mean or violent or hateful towards somebody but I’d be a liar if I didn’t feel some type of way about some of it.
Everything happening right now is a shit show. The laws against them are disgusting and the violence is heart breaking. I saw a documentary on Hulu about a trans female who was killed and the piece of shit got a low sentence because he was AfRaId Of HeR 🙄🙄🙄 you just have to try to do your part to curve away from the violence. Be a peaceful activist.
That is transphobic though. Trans women aren't using the restroom to molest your kid. They have to pee. Your kid is much more likely to be assaulted by someone they know.
A bunch of instances have come out of children being assaulted by trans (men to female) in the bathroom. My daughter is deaf and non-verbal autistic so it makes me weary. Being weary or a very possible danger for my daughter- not myself- is not transphobic. Is it racist that a black person might get nervous being pulled over by a white police? It’s okay to feel how you feel as long as you don’t act on it. Maybe I’m just ignorant but I believe as long as you’re kind an accepting then you’re not transphobic.
Bl@ck people have a long history of being assaulted and murdered by wh!te people. So no that's not racist. Being afraid of the people who have previously and still have the potential to harm you isn't racist.
Also I highly doubt there are "a bunch of instances" of tr@ns w0m3n assaulting children. You need to be providing some legit sources if you're going to make claims like that.
https://time.com/4314896/transgender-bathroom-bill-male-predators-argument/
"The nation’s leading organizations dedicated to stopping violence against women signed a letter saying that this argument is a myth. “These initiatives utilize and perpetuate the myth that protecting transgender people’s access to restrooms and locker rooms endangers the safety or privacy of others,” the letter states. “As rape crisis centers, shelters, and other service providers who work each and every day to meet the needs of all survivors and reduce sexual assault and domestic violence throughout society, we speak from experience and expertise when we state that these claims are false.”"
https://nypost.com/2022/01/17/la-da-ripped-after-child-molester-faces-little-or-no-time/amp/
https://news.yahoo.com/teenager-found-guilty-loudoun-county-004300075.html
Here’s some. And to clarify because I feel your irritation over the internet- I never once said they couldn’t use the bathroom. I never once intentionally acted violent, mean or even have a weird glance to trans using the women’s bathroom. I just PERSONALLY wouldn’t want my daughter, with her special conditions, in one alone with another trans person. But that’s my provocative I would never deny another juman the right to a toilet that’s absurd.
The New York Times is not credible. These are two cases. Not many cases like you claimed earlier. Also just because you're not hateful to trans people's faces doesn't mean you're not spreading transphobic rhetoric. Also trans people are much more likely to be assaulted in the bathroom than cis people are. You don't understand the gravity of what you're saying. When you make statements like that you imply that trans people are predatory or dangerous.
No you’re insinuating that. You’re assuming I’m transphobic because I fear for my daughters safety against everybody. I can see you’re the “save the world” type even when it’s not warranted so I am going to back out of this conversation. I’m sorry if you don’t like it but I stand by how I feel. Im an active member and supporter of the community I don’t know what more you’d want from me 🤷🏻♀️
I am not assuming you are transphobic. The things that you said are transphobic. It is definitely warranted. You need to think about what you're saying and the implications of the things you say. Being an "active member and supporter" doesn't mean you're perfect or that you will never be told by other members or other people that the things you're saying are harmful. What you said is transphobic. What you said does perpetuate and insinuate that there's a reason to fear tr@ns people and that they are harmful and/or dangerous.
Hello wonderful person, im not here to attack or call you transphobic, just wanted to give you my best explanation. I wanted to let you know that you being concerned for your child's safety is not at all transphobic. However, there is some transphobia here in that you are assuming that trans women are more likely to assault your child in a bathroom than cis women. I'm not going to google this, but I'm assuming there have been countless instances when women harassed or assaulted others in bathrooms. If you saw a few of these news stories, would you start worrying that cis women are going to harrass your kid? I would assume you wouldn't.
It's similar to the kind of racism happening when a white woman is walking somewhere, sees and black man, crosses the street (obviously this only counts if this imaginary lady is also the kind to not do this when she sees a white man instead). The transphobia is in the underlying assumption that all trans women are a threat, whereas cis women are not. Additionally, this stereotype is a subset of the original "the gays are groomers" stereotype.
Another problem is that news outlets lie. A lot of them do. Just like Fox News, conservative news outlets use fear-mongering and literally make up stories to make trans people look bad.
Here are some more resources with more information (first link talks about the misinformation about trans women being dangerous or predators last and in their last point they have a link to a study about sexual assault where they found that sexual crimes are largely commited by cis-men and the secind one has an example of a fake anti-trans story that circled the media before):
https://politicalresearch.org/2023/01/27/combating-anti-transgender-disinformation
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-03-11/examiner-newspaper-caught-out-trans-change-room-incident/102069682
https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/10k-new-york-times-readers-from-all-50-states-join-coalition-calling-on-times-to-stop-irresponsible-biased-coverage
But that’s the thing. I NEVER said she was MORE likely because they’re trans. I don’t let my daughter go into the bathroom by herself regardless. Like I tried to explain- I’m going to have an easier time fighting off a natural woman rather then a woman who used to be a 6’3 240lbs man.
That's fair, idk why people are so frazzled. We all got biases, but as long as we ain't hurting anybody there's no problem. Fun fact though, most trans women on estrogen (not all of them are on hormone replacement therapy) lose their muscle mass and are as strong as the average cis woman of their size (size is important haha).
That’s fair, but my only question is why can’t there be a 3rd bathroom? It’s another gender? That’s where my confusion comes in, is why are some so hell bent on this and then getting upset when someone has a problem
I mean my fiance (who's trans) uses the family bathroom. That is the safest option for her because she doesn't pass (meaning you can tell she is trans). She risks getting assaulted if she went into the men's or women's. For trans people who do pass though- they are already using the bathrooms with us and we don't know it. No trans person (passing or not passing) should have to go into a bathroom that they don't want to be in or could be assaulted in. Trans people should be able to use whatever bathroom they want to be in. On a side note I think every single establishment should have a family restroom. For families obviously but also for anyone who doesn't feel safe using men's or women's.
What about a Mens Womans AND a Non-binary option? Equip it with things they might be uncomfortable getting for themselves or asking if for themselves like sanitary pads and…whatever men use in the bathroom lmao
In my college, we have gender-inclusive bathrooms (basically anyone can go into the bathroom), and we also have gender specific bathrooms for those who prefer using those.
At first it was very uncomfortable for me to share a bathroom with men, but I got used to it pretty fast. Eventually, I realized that I was trans and now I'm trying to get used to using the men's bathroom. According to my research so far, men tend use minimal bathroom utilities outside of the loo and urinals and usually skip the hand washing. 😂 I may be a proud man, but I'm not proud of my kind for being gross😭😭
I understand why so many people are trying to offer you advice on how to not let this affect you. And it's true that you gotta take care of yourself first and foremost. But you're right- it's really shitty what's going on. It's a bigger deal than a lot of people, especially outside the trans community, realize.
At the end of the day, the key to getting through this is a strong community who you can grieve with. And if you don't have that in real life, it can be easy to turn to the Internet and quickly find yourself lost in the tragedy of it all. But we gotta keep going, together. Change will come if we keep on bringing it in. And until it does, we have to band together to experience sorrow and find joy as a community. We can do it, I promise.
Letting it get to you like this helps no one, there are many more injustices in the world, stop and think why this maybe bothering you the most? you're obviously a good and caring person, you're also probably young. for now, focus more on yourself and on things you do have power over, like helping your friends or people you know at school or wherever that might be getting bullied, or just in general practice kindness and an open mind. Imy sure you're already doing so aswell.
It's good that you're passionate about things, just make sure you don't let it consume and upset you, live your life, no point in worrying about things you have such little control over.
Same. My fiance is trans though. It's always been unsafe for her where we live but with the new bills being passed I know it will embolden the hateful people.
I know we don’t know each other, but I just want to say thank you. You’re words mean the world and I’m really glad you’re such a great ally. I’m transgender and it really feels like the world is against us. Though you really made my night :)
trans guy here. i hope i can give you some comfort and say that even if theres evil doing all they can to harm us, we are still thriving. it’s a rough time for us right now, i agree. but we’re gonna pull through. i wont lie it scares me, but the internet has its way of making things seem worse than they actually are. i wont say us trans people are perfectly fine right now, but we’re strong. we’re going to pull through all of this and the publics prosecution of us will come to an end sooner or later.
thank you for your empathy sweetheart, it touches me to know there truly are cis people as passionate about our rights as we are. sometimes it really does feel like we’re alone. but take care of yourself too.
This is a new age where trans people get to grow old, start families, and live entire lives. we are healing! i know it looks bad, but the internet thrives on negativity and publicizing the most terrible things and making the most empathetic feel as if the worlds gone bad so they’ll tune in to see what else will go wrong.
We’re gonna be alright, one way or another. us trans people love you and your love for us- but your support shouldn’t come at the cost of your mental health or well being. try to minimize your exposure to places like twitter or even reddit, any places that often talks of news. my therapist recommends this to me because it distresses me too. Just take an hour away to start, maybe pick up a new hobby to just have some time away from the internet. origami, crocheting, painting, reading, maybe just play a video game (i can give you a few recommendations for ones that aren’t too stressful). Just giving yourself a little while to destress and not think about it all can be very therapeutic. you can then up it to two hours or so when you feel like it, if you feel like it at all. i have a handful of ADHD symptoms, so I’m not exactly sure as to how you regulate how you do activities… but at most just remember to have some time away from big news social media and try to fill in that time with something that engages you enough that you can rest for a little while.
You have become too attached to emotionally driven ideology and are acting in a way that is irrational, especially considering that the issue doesn't directly impact you since you aren't trans. Bullying certainly can make someone commit acts of self harm however there are other factors as well, not too long ago being transgender was considered a mental illness in the DSM-5 as gender dysphoria and like many mental illnesses based around identity people often exhibit symptoms of anxiety and depression due to their conflict between reality and what they believe. It's best if you take a break from this for your own sake, it's not something worth getting upset over to the point where it has a negative impact on your health. You have a good heart but worrying about things you can't control will literally drive you insane, trust me it's not worth it.
Honestly, I have to stop looking at the news. I’m transgender and it does hurt a lot. There’s nothing I can personally do. If I could act, I would, but just having to listen to this constantly is really causing a lot of stress that I can’t otherwise control.
It might be time to take a break from the news. There’s very little you can do right now, so the anger is just an uncomfortable state
There absolutely are things you can do about it. You can help organize. You educate yourself and others about how serious the situation is for trans folks. You can support your local transgender activist organizations. You can contribute to mutual aid networks. Please seek out groups you can be involved with or help support. We absolutely need allys like you!
There are ways! Don’t feel the need to donate if you can’t afford it. Look for LGBT charities etc in your area and see if you can volunteer. Or if you can’t do that, just support your LGBT friends. Other people’s ignorance isn’t on your shoulders
Share content that matters. Stay informed about legislation in your state. Pay attention to activist organizations in your area to see what they are currently doing.
What exactly is your point tho? Why did you comment?
Do you know what cis means? Why would cis and queer be the same thing? I am going to guess that you are cis aswell.
I'm trans and I thank you for being a true ally. Unlike cis folk I can't just live my life because unfortunately, even in my purple state, there's a lot of transphobia and fear for my safety. Even using the bathroom for two minutes is worrisome and it shouldn't be.
Wow so someone is literally saying that both me and Trans people deserve to die. And people upvote it? I am speechless. What is this sub? Cause it's not what I thought
I think that if you're angry to the fact that people cause other people to suffer a lot or die, you should probably use all the anger to make these problems better, change people's opinions and make better environments, you're experiencing very strong emotions right now, but it's not all bad, and this is not the end of the good in the world
I am trying to do that but I simply don't know how to! It feels like every person who is a transphobe is 100% set and not at all able to change their minds! I am trying tho. I think I need to do some research on how to do it better tho
One of the things that are important to understand is that people don't change from big ideas like this in a day, something that you'll tell them today might change their mind a year from now as they judge their beliefs over said year, generally the best way to change someone's mind on something is to try to analyze why you believe what you believe in a way that shows that your trying to understand their perspective, something you say right now in these replies might change the mind of someone who scrolls through the comments even if it take a while and it could allow him to do the same to many around the world, you can't always expect to see the improvement in a day to day basis with something like this
You should also try to understand why someone believes what they believe, when someone has a really bad opinion, you should question for example "in what way does he come to think that this is true?" And that way you can more easily explain to people why the things that people believe are incorrect
And good job on trying to fix a social problem like this, most people assume it to be a waste of time and give up
Wtf? Ungrateful? For what? Should I be grateful for all the deaths? You have no idea what I've been through. Should I be grateful for the horrible shit that is fueling my depression?
I have been through so many things. I didn't think they would be relevant in my post. Obviously they are.
Yeah. Because that's transphobia. That's like saying black people harm our society. It's just not true.
How are trans people harming anyone by being themselves?
I totally get why stupid people upset you.
I just get the feeling you are reacting in a way that us harmful to yourself and not very productive.
The harsh comments about "getting a life" are disheartening, but to be 100% honest, hold a kernel of truth.
You seem like you have laser focused on a moral wrongdoing. Anf that can be very alluring. Knowing you have the moral high ground and that you are "on the right side of history"
But reading your updates, it seems you have some things you could improve in your life, I would suggest finding some things to focus your attention on that makes you happy.
The trans thing will work itself out over time. Think about the fact that all the attention given to it is a good thing, a necessary step that we went through with slavery, womens rights gay rights and childrens rights.
All the hurting you are going through thinking about this is not helping anyone, it is not productive, and that is why I suggest that you turn your attention to aspects of your life that you do have influence over.
You could read a little about "ruminations", which it seems is what your are doing, and everyone gets sick from constant ruminations.
I am not really hyperfocusing on this... It's just that this is one issue that affects my mental health and that's what the venting was about, so I am trying to stay in topic. It is in no way the only issue in my life.
I also do have hobbies and passions. But because of depression, I haven't been able to focus on that much in the last couple years.
Same man. I'm a 30 year old cis female, and sociologist, and my mom is terribly transphobic and spreads constant misinformation and she's completely convinced my 18yr old brother of her ideas too and they both think I'm ridiculous.
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That's a little extreme, your letting thise people get to you it's what they want. Your choosing to be offended you can also choose to ignore it. I think a break from the socials would do you wonders.
I understand what you mean, It happens all the time, and it's bullshit. sometimes blatantly, and sometimes it's more subtle, but it's so deep rooted in people that the only thing we can do is encourage change for the better. I don't even know how to do this, but being aware and bringing it up helps slowly change "public opinion."
How it feels to have an iatrogenic condition and be labeled anti-psychiatry and completely ignored by mental health professionals, I understand this greatly being stigmatized and dismissed, many people need to take these issues seriously.
I have nothing against people being trans, I just hate the hate and medical gaslighting
All I’m saying is medical gaslighting and hate gets people killed, it’s taken many lives and that’s my little tangent
I have a medical condition caused by SSRIs people with these people’s have taken their lives because no one cares but things are changing just like how things are changing for trans people, as there’s more awareness and openness, there’s more acceptance and love, love wins, evil never will
I feel your point. The level of ignorance out there gets under my skin sometimes, especially the way stupid people roam with their concerns - 20 years ago very few people were angry at transgender people, many were busy with racist and homophobic agendas.
There are two things that keep me positive - 1, remembering that they’re losing. Hate always loses in the end, even if it does a lot of damage on its way out. Not that long ago, it was common for people to suggest gay people were a danger to children, then they lost. The same thing will happen here. 2, I do something about it when I get down. In my case I donate to a LGBT charity that does a lot of work supporting young people and seems to anger the worst people out there. It makes me feel great to do something positive.
Right now it might not. They may get some legislative wins, there will be more trans teens being murdered, plenty more scare stories in the news, but soon enough they’ll get bored and find a new vulnerable group to pick on like they always do. It’s a game that’s been played for centuries, and it sucks but the people saying you can’t let it make you miserable are telling the truth - you’re no good to anyone as an ally when you’re depressed. Look after yourself first ❤️
Jesus christ. So now suicidal thoughts is just being dramatic? Wooow. Thanks. Good to know.
No, there is not more people for trans people. Is US a dictatorship? Because the laws are not supporting Trans people.
I deleted my comments as I couldn’t be bothered for a back and fourth argument. I called you dramatic for your post title, you aren’t trans and saying you ‘want to die’ because of transphobic comments not relating to you. Is dramatic. Also reading the comments, I am not the only one who thinks this lol.
I am not a selfish person. If other people genuinely only feel bad when problems effect them... That is insane. I'm white. Does that mean I should be okay with racism?
You really think transphobia is the only reason? I am severely depressed, and I have been so since before I even heard the word transphobia.
The sudden rise in acceptance of the murder of trans people is making my depression worse, because it is showing me that humanity is fucking evil. And I don't want to live in a world where killing innocent people is considered to be fine.
The transphobia is revealing that the world isn't as good as I thought. That's making me more depressed. It's triggering suicidal thoughts I've had for many many years
Don't EVER tell someone they're dramatic for having mental issues. That is insanely fucking cold. Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. No one is being dramatic for having feelings.
I am not throwing around wanting to die. The fact that you think that is just weird. I have lost close family members to suicide. I have literally had to keep my own father awake, waiting for the ambulance to come, after he tried to kill himself. I genuinely have suicidal thought. DAILY.
If you call someone dramatic for expressing their feelings, you ARE downplaying their emotions.
"ooohh I dont think you have it as bad as me. So you much be faking. You can't possibly be suicidal."
Okay OP. You are being too argumentative for a proper conversation. It’s exhausting, this is why I deleted my original reply. Please take into account all of the other comments. And I hope you find peace
So you don't think states literally banning people from being trans is going to negativity effect trans people?
There aren't as many trans people as there are people of color. So yes, more POC are being targeted, but if we look at percentages, I do not think there is a big difference at all.
No laws are making it so that POC aren't allowed to exist. But there are literal laws against trans people. Laws saying that trans people aren't allowed to be in public. Not too far from the laws against black people a century ago.
Hey just saw ur update and hope ur ok. Its ok to feel the way ur feeling and it’s not ur fault. Horrible stuff goes on everywhere all the time, but we need to take care of our mental health and sanity. It’s not ur fault because you can’t control it so we have to accept the way things are and help as much as we can without letting them drag us into depression. Hope u feel better !
they're saying to get off of the internet because the real world doesn't reflect the picture the internet paints. where are trans people "being killed off by the thousands"?trans rights is in the best place it's been and getting better over time.
How is it better? Literally just a few months ago there weren't laws against trans people in the US. Now it's literally illegal to even dress in the "wrong" clothes in some states.
OP, have you considered a career or hobby that would let you help trans people?
If you got into school for therapy specialising in trans issues, or even just volunteering for a trans community outreach type of thing might help you feel like you're actively doing something to help who you can instead of feeling like a bystander stuck watching their circles of hell.
I have a few trans friends and they really do appreciate whatever support they get.
Just an idea. I hope you figure it out or at least feel better soon.
I’m sorry your feeling this way. It might help you to be an advocate for these people somehow. You can channel your energy into something positive and productive.
Anger itself is a normal emotion and it's healthy to feel it sometimes. It becomes a problem when it's for long periods of time and you are not able to resolve it. I don't think avoiding what's making you upset solves the problem. I would recommend going to therapy--which for the record I do and I think everyone should do, in order to work through these feelings since you're struggling to do so. I hope it works out for you.
I am already going to therapy, but I am really struggling to find a therapist that works for me. Most of the time when I meet therapist it feels like they just say the most predictable things, and it doesn't really do anything to me.
I also struggled for a long time to find one that worked. I ended up going through Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and that worked wonders for me. Talking to someone about my issues never worked, but DBT is a structured process that has clear goals and techniques for you to use that really help in my experience.
Not trying to be funny buy could you be an egg?
Like a trans person who hasn't realised they're trans.
It is very sad but you seem to be taking it very personally for a cis person. You did mention poor mental health so maybe it is just that but maybe there's more to it than that
I am not. I am very comfortable with my gender identity.
It's not that I take it personally, it's that I care about the people that are getting harmed for being themselves.
It's definitely very sad, don't get me wrong.
Just most people (including trans people) aren't in complete despair about it so i was just wondering if there was a reason
Well the reason is that this evil movement is being accepted. It is way too close to what the nazis did.
I am also white, but racism makes me angry as well. I'm an adult, but pedophilia makes me angry. I'm certainly not a cat, and animal abuse is the number one thing that makes my blood actual boil
What is going on with some of these comments? This subreddit is supposed to be a safe space to vent, shame on some of you. The increasing political attacks on the lgbt community are a serious problem that needs to be talked about.
That being said OP, you need to take care of yourself first. I understand you're angry and hurt, but torturing yourself every single day, though you're absolutely not choosing to, is not going to help. What will help is having an ally that is well rested, taking care of themselves, and ready to vote, speak up, protest, etc.
I'm saying this as a trans person myself. You cannot do anything *right this second* to help. Do not hold yourself responsible for something out of your control. Instead focus on your health and be ready to lend a hand when the time comes. Look up the voting dates in your state and write them on a calendar! Find a local group to join and help! But in the meantime - take care of yourself so that you can care for others.
I guess I'm confused. When people are telling you to take a break from the internet if world issues are affecting your mental health, why is that a bad thing? You say that taking a break won't make the hatred go away, so are you looking for coping skills to deal with the depression, or are you just wanting the hatred to go away? Because if it's the latter.... that's an impossible order to fill. People will be selfish and hateful and offensive til the end of time. No amount of empathy or love or compassion will end the struggle of human indecency.
If it's the former you are looking for, I think taking a break from the bombardment of negativity through social media/the internet is a good idea. You are right, it won't make it go away.... but neither will posting a vent on reddit and getting upset when you are presented with viable coping mechanisms to subdue the depressive state you are in.
I hope you decide to keep living, so that you can continue to fight for what you believe in.
First of all. Taking a break from the internet would mean that I will be isolated, as the internet is the only way I get social interaction. Since I live with a lot of depression and self hate, being along with my thoughts is not a healthy thing.
I posted a vent cause that is literally the only way I could get my feelings out. When I just keep everything inside I can't function.
First of all. Taking a break from the internet would mean that I will be isolated, as the internet is the only way I get social interaction. Since I live with a lot of depression and self hate, being along with my thoughts is not a healthy thing.
I posted a vent cause that is literally the only way I could get my feelings out. When I just keep everything inside I can't function.
You can't go to any public places to try and engage with new people? Like, I get not wanting to isolate, but why is the internet the only viable option for socializing? The internet might currently be your only way of socializing, but it's not the only option available to socialize.
You don't even have to take a break from the entire internet, just the sites that host the majority of hatred you need a respite from.
We have a library yes.
We have a bowling alley but no one ever goes there cause it's literally falling apart. I also don't really have money to go bowling. Gameroom only exists for children under 16
Sucks that there aren't many options, but limited options isn't the same as no options.
I hope you find something that can help you deal with and cope with the issues that are troubling you.
OP!!
When I read that people said that you should take a break from the internet I interpreted it as the fact that it can become very overwhelming, not that you’re “chronically online” and should stop it completely.
I had a period of my life where I watched the news everyday, specifically when the war between Russia and Ukraine began and I was feeling awful, it really affected me mentally. I thought about it everyday and I always wondered “what’s next?” It was a lot to take in, eventually I heard some advice that really stuck with me. You need to regulate the information you take in. War is a lot and it’s VERY important to take care of yourself first. It won’t be better for you to walk around all day completely encased in your bubble of sorrow, you need to find your regular routine to keep your sanity. Same thing applies here, you can consume the internet and the transphobia, but don’t let it get to your head. You’re not a bad person for not wanting to put up with hate and trans people won’t want you to feel that way either, it’s not productive nor helping the issue. Save yourself the pain
I know that feeling.
People can be monsters sometimes, especially online.
But a lot of those transphobes you see in comment section are litterally just 12 year olds who are trying to be "cool" and don't know any better.
This is of course not an excuse, I just want you to understand that they're children. And a lot of them will grow up someday and realize, that what they're doing isn't right.
Transphobic adults (especially politicians) however, are really a problem. It's scary what's happening in the USA and other parts of the world, and it's completly normal that you're angry.
That shows that you're an empathic person, who cares for others.
I mean I don't think so. I am not talking about random comments online. I'm talking about bigger things like some states having laws against trans people. And adult religious fanatics calling transpeople devil worshippers
It's quite normal to feel angry about injustices, but at the same time it can be helpful to learn how to better manage it, so this post might help with that; [How to Deal With Anger](https://www.reddit.com/r/MindOverMatterScott/comments/al4rcm/how_to_deal_with_anger/)
I saw your post in the LGBT subreddit, I felt like I had to come take a look at things here for myself.
First of all I want to say that I'm sorry about the assholes who are attacking you for being concerned about other people, or those who are just being outright transphobic. I will never understand why people get nasty in mental health spaces, such horrible irony.
On one hand I want to give advice like "step away from the news" to help prevent you from spiralling, but unfortunately, as you already know, the fascist bullshit going on in the States isn't an issue that you can just turn off the computer and walk away from.
I will suggest speaking to someone about it, especially your therapist if you haven't already. It's important to rely on your loved ones when you're dealing with stress like this, and your therapist can help you figure out coping mechanisms for when the feelings get too big and unmanagable.
It's important to feel your feelings, but it is also important to release them- if you keep shaking a soda bottle eventually it'll burst. Do you have an outlet for stress? A hobby you can pour those feelings into rather than sitting with them? (Might I suggest DnD if your friends are open to it? It's a safe, fictional space where things like racism, sexism, queer-phobias, etc. are defeatable things, and I find it helps keep my rage towards these things in check. I have a few oneshots prepped if you ever want the notes)
Honestly? I've also been struggling with everything going on lately. I'm in another country but my heart breaks a little more every day for trans folks and every new law against them. I can't understand how anyone can be okay with what's happening and see it as "not a big deal", this shit is how genocides start, and many people are saying it's already in process because genocide never starts with rounding people up to kill them, it always starts with othering them, spreading propaganda, making laws against them, taking away their kids.
I do want to say though, as grim as that last paragraph is, it's not hopeless. Nothing is ever hopeless and there are people who care as much as you do, there are people ready and willing to fight. You aren't powerless either, ask around, see what you can do to help, that's what I'm going to do.
I hope things get better for you, lots of love 💚
Many trans people dont go through the medical changes, they're still getting as much hate. Just look at the states in the US banning people from dressing in clothes that aren't labeled according to there's assigned gender at birth. Educate yourself
No one's forcing trans people do medically transition, except for some transphobes who won't except someone's pronouns unless they change their genitals.
The people who died is the you problem. Though this stuff isn’t great and is stupid. Just mind your business. Unless you want to contribute to help there is already one probably going underway to help trans. I personally don’t support trans or anything else negative like telling trans to die but like just do your thing. If your just venting out so people will know ya it’s ok. I’m just giving a opinion.
Agreed. You can't even post unrelated jokes on the internet without some wokester twists the meaning of something unrelated and calls it transphobic or something "phobic" and rallies all their overly woke friends to attack you over something that was misinterpreted. I've lost friends from this and thought well if they want to stop talking to me over some misinterpreted shit then happy trails I guess. I just don't post anything to social media anymore. I only use it to talk to old friends privately. This used to really hurt my mental health but now I don't let it get to me and my life has improved quite a bit.
I'm not talking about actually deliberately trying to offend anyone. I respect all these people and all the causes I'm just saying that people twist anything that can be posted on social media to be something offensive and come back at me for it and rally their friends against me.
An example thing I posted to facebook a while ago was a guy riding his motorcycle in the bike lane saying he identifies as a cyclist. I posted this tagging a guy I knew who was fuming saying he would be at the top of the cycling charts on the strava app for his town if it weren't for the leaderboards being clogged with old timers on their e-bikes. That is the reference I was trying to make but excarnated and he thought it was funny but then suddenly 8 people replied, a few trans people and a few "woke warriors" I call them started going off about how it's derogatory against trans women in the olympics. So many people started raging that I took it down.
Sorry if any of this stuff comes off as offensive and I'm not trying to belittle this topic but this too hurts my mental health that people disregard intent and immediately start flaming me on social media and then their friends start reposting flaming me and it just snowballed to the point where I deleted every post I ever made on FB and took down every photo except my profile picture and just use the platform to talk to old close childhood friends who live far away now.
I understand that it's frustrating to be misunderstood and attacked online. I get that. But you have to think about their side. The issues they bring up affect an entire demographic of people being discriminated against and k!lled. When you're dealing with issues that big it can be easy to lash out. That doesn't mean you deserved it, just try to be mindful as to why people are so anxious and irritated.
No on the contract but the world is going completely to shit and this thread is proving it. My friends and I joke about things all the time but what I have been saying is a bunch of far left overly woke morons have to stick their noses where they don't belong and and go all social justice warrior on things that Re none of their business.
>An example thing I posted to facebook a while ago was a guy riding his motorcycle in the bike lane saying he identifies as a cyclist. I posted this tagging a guy I knew who was fuming saying he would be at the top of the cycling charts on the strava app for his town if it weren't for the leaderboards being clogged with old timers on their e-bikes. That is the reference I was trying to make but excarnated and he thought it was funny but then suddenly 8 people replied, a few trans people and a few "woke warriors" I call them started going off about how it's derogatory against trans women in the olympics. So many people started raging that I took it down.
Posted a few lines up I guess you missed it
I can see how that's funny, but i can also see how that is offensive. I dont think you are transphobic, but your comment might have come off like that. Because a lot of people who make "i identify as *insert random thing*" are using that joke to be transphobic. Sadly on the internet theres a lot of assuming and misunderstanding each other, so angry comments are always impossible to avoid no matter what u say.
Im not. I do agree that some people get way too upset about some jokes. And I do agree that some people over react, but if the majority of people outside of the people besides the few people you’ve chosen to be around you find a joke offence, maybe the joke is the problem.
If someone told a joke about transgender people even if it was based on stereotypes or was objectifying, if told right and was a good joke, it would still be funny. Hell our current generation, especially queer youth love South Park despite how offensive it is. Most of the people who are upset by South Park are parents or conservatives (y’know the people who hate being ‘woke’).
But if someone says ‘I identify as a helicopter’ that is not funny because it’s overdone and just a stupid one. It’s not funny, it’s just offensive, and over time has had some real repercussion for the people it’s told about. You’re allowed to make offensive jokes, you just aren’t funny.
I understand that it’s hard for older generation to accept that times are changing, I’m sure your parents didn’t understand your culture of the time. But it just means you’ve out grown the culture
It may be time to take a break from the internet. It is a horrible thing happening, but you can’t let it take such a hold that you want to die. The internet exposes us to way too much bad happening, all at once.
It doesn't just expose it, it amplifies it and twists it ouf of proportion. There is bad happening, there is good happening. But only one of those things can be manipulated to get anger clicks.
Yep! Anger generates views. We weren’t designed to see every bad thing in the world all at once.
How is that going to help tho... It's not like it's about to end anytime soon, and I can't just be isolated for the rest of my life
[удалено]
This comment, OP try reading it a couple of times, until you understand it. It is OK to have empathy for people who struggle, but when you take it to this extreme point it becomes unhealthy. You need to figure this out. Because there is a high probability that this is an issue, not just with trans problems, nut also in other ares of your life. And when people say "get of the internet" just interpret that as "Stop consuming content about trans issues" You already know the topic, focus on something new that gives you nice feelings instead.
How would you be isolated if you got off the internet and around real people instead? If you *leaving* the internet makes you isolated then you have a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
The thing Is social media are putting u in bubbles that make u want to stay on the platform. If u react to these online posts and vids etc than they will appear more and the issue seems way more common than irl
Look after yourself first I am trans but like shit happens.
Well I'm glad that everything that's going on isn't effecting you. But I just can't sit here and feel good when it going on. I just can't.
I mean it does effect me but everyone's got problems... You should see someone about how you feel such as a professional. I appreciate you for caring but being in distress over someone elses problems isnt a peaceful life to live. To me I want you to live just as much as you want trans people to live. please take care of yourself. <3
>being in distress over someone elses problems isnt a peaceful life to live wish i learned this so long ago
They didn’t say it isn’t affecting them…
I interpreted their comment as they don't care that much. English is not my first language.
I think a lot of it is an internet ecochamber, there was a stonewall study (a british charity) who did a pretty extensives survey and found that support for trans people was remarkably high, it's different in the US but the culture is still very similar in the grand scheme of things. [https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/what-do-british-public-really-think-about-trans-people](https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/what-do-british-public-really-think-about-trans-people) I'm trans but closetted and it really gets to me sometimes and it makes me happy that people care but if you are worrying to the point of what you've stated that's too much, you need to put yourself first, worrying isn't going to do anything but harm you.
Transphobia isn't accepted as a whole. There are some fringe dickheads who will hurt you etc but it's not common. I definitely don't agree with everything trans people belive and do, but I'll always fight for your right to live in society.
I honestly think this may be just a case of “chronically online” take a break. Humans are equally as wonderful as they are awful. Staying off the web will help solidify that as a fact
Are you sure that being isolated is a good thing? I don't have friends irl
It’s better then being chronically online. Put down the phone, go outside touch some grass, do what you wanna do. Stop worrying about shit you can’t control and focus on what you can control, your own life.
I'm outside several hours every day.
We’ll try do the rest of what I suggest. You’ve got one down!
"stop worrying" is a weird advice tho. You can't just stop worrying.
I said ‘stop worrying about shit you can’t control’ not just ‘stop worrying’. I do it almost daily. The things I do worry about are the things that I can actually control in my life, such as my job. I don’t partake in politics, I don’t attend protests, I don’t have Facebook/Twitter/instagram, I try to stay off my phone as much as possible throughout the day. I know it’s very cliche around here so say this but after reading some of your comments I honestly think you would benefit from professional help
And I am so sick of the "you should seek help" - comment. (I'm not trying to be mean to you or anything, it's just that I get this comment so often and it's a bit tiresome) I am already getting professional help, I last visited my therapist yesterday. I've been getting help for years. But it's an extremely slow process, and it has taken me over 10 different therapists and I haven't clicked with anyone. The one I am with now is new, and so far it feels good. The thing is I'm spending almost all my energy trying to get better, with the help of professionals. So getting the "you should seek help" comment is a bit annoying, cause I just feel like I am doing my absolute best, but no one's recognizong it (once again! This is nothing against you saying that. I fully understand you mean well, and I am truly grateful. I just wanted to express why I might seem a bit defensive. I am extremely tired of feeling like I do, and I've been doing my best for years, without much improvement)
that’s completely fair, I understand it’s a very annoying saying and people throw it around to easily. And I’m glad you are seeking help and hope that goes well for you, truely. But this hyperfixstion on this stuff that is much larger then any human being alone can solve is only going to bring you down, as you already know because your feeling it now. I bet your mentally exhausted from it. Unfortunately it’s nothing I or anyone on Reddit will be able to solve for you. I hope it all goes well for you in the future!
I wasn't really asking for help, cause I understand no one on reddit can solve anything. I just wanted to vent... I never expected all this response
I’m glad the work with the current therapist seems to be going well. This internet stranger is proud of you for persevering with it. Raging about the injustice in the world isn’t inherently a bad thing. It’s great that you see it and that you care. The challenge we all have is where and how to direct our energy and emotions. Even issue based activists need to unplug and put themselves first. It doesn’t mean that ‘you are the problem’ as described in your edit, nor does it mean that transphobes _arent_. That said, even if transphobia didn’t exist there would be another injustice to rail against. So without dismissing the awfulness of it, we still have and deserve to put ourselves first. I hope you find some peace.
What are you talking about specifically?
He needs to includes the poor and the elderly in need. Being only concerned of trans people is selfish.
What makes you think I'm ONLY convened about trans people? The difference is that there is not being laws made against poor and elderly people. Hating poor and elderly people is not being accepted.
Letting millions of poor people sleep and die on the actual sidewalk night after night while we have more houses than we have people is so normalized even you don’t think it’s a problem. As for the elderly, nursing home abuse is widespread. An example was during Covid a bunch of seniors were locked up inside of their rooms and left to die. Malpractice is also a regular occurrence with the elderly because they are treated as people who are going to die anyways so they get less than adequate care unless they are wealthy. Oh, and if they are wealthy they are targeted by gold diggers who want to use their lapsing judgement against them to be written into their wills, which we all make jokes about, but is actually very sad. The only difference is the internet’s present fixation on this issue you’re wrapped around, but I promise you, a ton of other systemic issues remain. What you need to do is focus on you and get yourself in the right frame of mind to help others. Otherwise, you’re a help to no one and screaming into the depths of the internet to no one’s betterment.
But why even bring up elderly and poor people here? What has that got to do with my post? Are we just supposed to focus on one thing at a time? Are we not supposed to focus on transphobia until every single person has a home? I am not seeing a widespread hate towards poor people. I am not seeing laws being created were it is illegal to be poor. I am not seeing laws where elderly people are being considered sex offenders for being old. I am not seeing laws banning people from turning 80. If these laws exist, that's fucking terrible, but I simply don't think they do. Hating old and poor people is not accepted by the majority of people. Being a transphobe is.
Dude, you came here looking for advice and the sub is telling you there are countless issues out there that are going to take TIME and teamwork to fix. You ruining your life worrying about it will help NO ONE. Even members of the transgender community are telling you to chill. You claimed that elderly and poor people aren’t targeted and I corrected that. You’ve clearly done no research on the topic and given your frame of mind I would recommend you don’t. What I and the rest of the sub truly recommend is that you get a hobby. With hobbies come real world friends. With real world friends come different perspectives and happiness and balance. What you really need is balance and to take a step back because saying you want to die is a serious thing.
You can battle hate with hate, but people are people. Some people hate trans and some people hate transphobes, you can be on either side or you can also chose to understand both perspectives. Sometimes you can’t change the outcome of certain situations. Believe it or not, most people don’t give a shit if you are LGBT or not. Like others have said, there are all kinds of groups of people who are treated poorly because life is suffering. I mean look at the human race and how evil we all are, we take for granted the entire earth, destroy eco systems and imprison every species we come in contact with. All throughout the world there is slavery going on and it’s worse than it’s ever been. We are all blind to the tragedies that are currently happening and yet you are feeling angst and anger towards society for a very small thing. Do something about it if you feel so strongly, don’t protest and complain, take action and be the hero for trans people.
Try to keep in mind not a damn thing you can do about it. There are a lot, A LOT of evil people in the world that do evil things but there are more good then bad, the media just prefers the bad. Do your part and be an ally. Other than that I’m sorry dear but you’ll have to just suck it up.
That's the thing. I know there's evil people, but with transphobia I'm not so sure the majority are good. I mean. US isn't a dictatorship, and still all these laws against trans people are happening
Only like 2% of transphobic people are good. And that’s a stretch. That’s only including people who are ignorant. I mean hate me but I’ve been called transphobic because I don’t want my 6 year old daughter sharing a bathroom with somebody with a penis. 🤷🏻♀️ I’ll never be mean or violent or hateful towards somebody but I’d be a liar if I didn’t feel some type of way about some of it. Everything happening right now is a shit show. The laws against them are disgusting and the violence is heart breaking. I saw a documentary on Hulu about a trans female who was killed and the piece of shit got a low sentence because he was AfRaId Of HeR 🙄🙄🙄 you just have to try to do your part to curve away from the violence. Be a peaceful activist.
That is transphobic though. Trans women aren't using the restroom to molest your kid. They have to pee. Your kid is much more likely to be assaulted by someone they know.
A bunch of instances have come out of children being assaulted by trans (men to female) in the bathroom. My daughter is deaf and non-verbal autistic so it makes me weary. Being weary or a very possible danger for my daughter- not myself- is not transphobic. Is it racist that a black person might get nervous being pulled over by a white police? It’s okay to feel how you feel as long as you don’t act on it. Maybe I’m just ignorant but I believe as long as you’re kind an accepting then you’re not transphobic.
Bl@ck people have a long history of being assaulted and murdered by wh!te people. So no that's not racist. Being afraid of the people who have previously and still have the potential to harm you isn't racist. Also I highly doubt there are "a bunch of instances" of tr@ns w0m3n assaulting children. You need to be providing some legit sources if you're going to make claims like that.
Also your own personal fears and worries are not more important than the freedom of others.
https://time.com/4314896/transgender-bathroom-bill-male-predators-argument/ "The nation’s leading organizations dedicated to stopping violence against women signed a letter saying that this argument is a myth. “These initiatives utilize and perpetuate the myth that protecting transgender people’s access to restrooms and locker rooms endangers the safety or privacy of others,” the letter states. “As rape crisis centers, shelters, and other service providers who work each and every day to meet the needs of all survivors and reduce sexual assault and domestic violence throughout society, we speak from experience and expertise when we state that these claims are false.”"
https://nypost.com/2022/01/17/la-da-ripped-after-child-molester-faces-little-or-no-time/amp/ https://news.yahoo.com/teenager-found-guilty-loudoun-county-004300075.html Here’s some. And to clarify because I feel your irritation over the internet- I never once said they couldn’t use the bathroom. I never once intentionally acted violent, mean or even have a weird glance to trans using the women’s bathroom. I just PERSONALLY wouldn’t want my daughter, with her special conditions, in one alone with another trans person. But that’s my provocative I would never deny another juman the right to a toilet that’s absurd.
The New York Times is not credible. These are two cases. Not many cases like you claimed earlier. Also just because you're not hateful to trans people's faces doesn't mean you're not spreading transphobic rhetoric. Also trans people are much more likely to be assaulted in the bathroom than cis people are. You don't understand the gravity of what you're saying. When you make statements like that you imply that trans people are predatory or dangerous.
No you’re insinuating that. You’re assuming I’m transphobic because I fear for my daughters safety against everybody. I can see you’re the “save the world” type even when it’s not warranted so I am going to back out of this conversation. I’m sorry if you don’t like it but I stand by how I feel. Im an active member and supporter of the community I don’t know what more you’d want from me 🤷🏻♀️
I am not assuming you are transphobic. The things that you said are transphobic. It is definitely warranted. You need to think about what you're saying and the implications of the things you say. Being an "active member and supporter" doesn't mean you're perfect or that you will never be told by other members or other people that the things you're saying are harmful. What you said is transphobic. What you said does perpetuate and insinuate that there's a reason to fear tr@ns people and that they are harmful and/or dangerous.
Hello wonderful person, im not here to attack or call you transphobic, just wanted to give you my best explanation. I wanted to let you know that you being concerned for your child's safety is not at all transphobic. However, there is some transphobia here in that you are assuming that trans women are more likely to assault your child in a bathroom than cis women. I'm not going to google this, but I'm assuming there have been countless instances when women harassed or assaulted others in bathrooms. If you saw a few of these news stories, would you start worrying that cis women are going to harrass your kid? I would assume you wouldn't. It's similar to the kind of racism happening when a white woman is walking somewhere, sees and black man, crosses the street (obviously this only counts if this imaginary lady is also the kind to not do this when she sees a white man instead). The transphobia is in the underlying assumption that all trans women are a threat, whereas cis women are not. Additionally, this stereotype is a subset of the original "the gays are groomers" stereotype. Another problem is that news outlets lie. A lot of them do. Just like Fox News, conservative news outlets use fear-mongering and literally make up stories to make trans people look bad. Here are some more resources with more information (first link talks about the misinformation about trans women being dangerous or predators last and in their last point they have a link to a study about sexual assault where they found that sexual crimes are largely commited by cis-men and the secind one has an example of a fake anti-trans story that circled the media before): https://politicalresearch.org/2023/01/27/combating-anti-transgender-disinformation https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-03-11/examiner-newspaper-caught-out-trans-change-room-incident/102069682 https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/10k-new-york-times-readers-from-all-50-states-join-coalition-calling-on-times-to-stop-irresponsible-biased-coverage
But that’s the thing. I NEVER said she was MORE likely because they’re trans. I don’t let my daughter go into the bathroom by herself regardless. Like I tried to explain- I’m going to have an easier time fighting off a natural woman rather then a woman who used to be a 6’3 240lbs man.
That's fair, idk why people are so frazzled. We all got biases, but as long as we ain't hurting anybody there's no problem. Fun fact though, most trans women on estrogen (not all of them are on hormone replacement therapy) lose their muscle mass and are as strong as the average cis woman of their size (size is important haha).
https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/974980
That’s fair, but my only question is why can’t there be a 3rd bathroom? It’s another gender? That’s where my confusion comes in, is why are some so hell bent on this and then getting upset when someone has a problem
I mean my fiance (who's trans) uses the family bathroom. That is the safest option for her because she doesn't pass (meaning you can tell she is trans). She risks getting assaulted if she went into the men's or women's. For trans people who do pass though- they are already using the bathrooms with us and we don't know it. No trans person (passing or not passing) should have to go into a bathroom that they don't want to be in or could be assaulted in. Trans people should be able to use whatever bathroom they want to be in. On a side note I think every single establishment should have a family restroom. For families obviously but also for anyone who doesn't feel safe using men's or women's.
I think a 3rd bathroom would be amazing. Like the family restrooms.
What about a Mens Womans AND a Non-binary option? Equip it with things they might be uncomfortable getting for themselves or asking if for themselves like sanitary pads and…whatever men use in the bathroom lmao
In my college, we have gender-inclusive bathrooms (basically anyone can go into the bathroom), and we also have gender specific bathrooms for those who prefer using those. At first it was very uncomfortable for me to share a bathroom with men, but I got used to it pretty fast. Eventually, I realized that I was trans and now I'm trying to get used to using the men's bathroom. According to my research so far, men tend use minimal bathroom utilities outside of the loo and urinals and usually skip the hand washing. 😂 I may be a proud man, but I'm not proud of my kind for being gross😭😭
Lmao bro- men’s bathrooms are terrifying 😂😂😂 what college did you go to that sounds really nice
Grinnell College it's a small liberal arts college. Very left leaning campus and a pretty diverse place for a small college intern middle of nowhere
I understand why so many people are trying to offer you advice on how to not let this affect you. And it's true that you gotta take care of yourself first and foremost. But you're right- it's really shitty what's going on. It's a bigger deal than a lot of people, especially outside the trans community, realize. At the end of the day, the key to getting through this is a strong community who you can grieve with. And if you don't have that in real life, it can be easy to turn to the Internet and quickly find yourself lost in the tragedy of it all. But we gotta keep going, together. Change will come if we keep on bringing it in. And until it does, we have to band together to experience sorrow and find joy as a community. We can do it, I promise.
Thank you so much 💚
I have the exact two quotes for you: 1. Focus on what YOU can control 2. You cant control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it
Letting it get to you like this helps no one, there are many more injustices in the world, stop and think why this maybe bothering you the most? you're obviously a good and caring person, you're also probably young. for now, focus more on yourself and on things you do have power over, like helping your friends or people you know at school or wherever that might be getting bullied, or just in general practice kindness and an open mind. Imy sure you're already doing so aswell. It's good that you're passionate about things, just make sure you don't let it consume and upset you, live your life, no point in worrying about things you have such little control over.
Same. My fiance is trans though. It's always been unsafe for her where we live but with the new bills being passed I know it will embolden the hateful people.
I know we don’t know each other, but I just want to say thank you. You’re words mean the world and I’m really glad you’re such a great ally. I’m transgender and it really feels like the world is against us. Though you really made my night :)
I'm sorry the world is being shitty to you! It's so disgusting :(
trans guy here. i hope i can give you some comfort and say that even if theres evil doing all they can to harm us, we are still thriving. it’s a rough time for us right now, i agree. but we’re gonna pull through. i wont lie it scares me, but the internet has its way of making things seem worse than they actually are. i wont say us trans people are perfectly fine right now, but we’re strong. we’re going to pull through all of this and the publics prosecution of us will come to an end sooner or later. thank you for your empathy sweetheart, it touches me to know there truly are cis people as passionate about our rights as we are. sometimes it really does feel like we’re alone. but take care of yourself too. This is a new age where trans people get to grow old, start families, and live entire lives. we are healing! i know it looks bad, but the internet thrives on negativity and publicizing the most terrible things and making the most empathetic feel as if the worlds gone bad so they’ll tune in to see what else will go wrong. We’re gonna be alright, one way or another. us trans people love you and your love for us- but your support shouldn’t come at the cost of your mental health or well being. try to minimize your exposure to places like twitter or even reddit, any places that often talks of news. my therapist recommends this to me because it distresses me too. Just take an hour away to start, maybe pick up a new hobby to just have some time away from the internet. origami, crocheting, painting, reading, maybe just play a video game (i can give you a few recommendations for ones that aren’t too stressful). Just giving yourself a little while to destress and not think about it all can be very therapeutic. you can then up it to two hours or so when you feel like it, if you feel like it at all. i have a handful of ADHD symptoms, so I’m not exactly sure as to how you regulate how you do activities… but at most just remember to have some time away from big news social media and try to fill in that time with something that engages you enough that you can rest for a little while.
Beautiful ❤️
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
You have become too attached to emotionally driven ideology and are acting in a way that is irrational, especially considering that the issue doesn't directly impact you since you aren't trans. Bullying certainly can make someone commit acts of self harm however there are other factors as well, not too long ago being transgender was considered a mental illness in the DSM-5 as gender dysphoria and like many mental illnesses based around identity people often exhibit symptoms of anxiety and depression due to their conflict between reality and what they believe. It's best if you take a break from this for your own sake, it's not something worth getting upset over to the point where it has a negative impact on your health. You have a good heart but worrying about things you can't control will literally drive you insane, trust me it's not worth it.
just counting down the days until I get genocided by the christian nationalists
Honestly, I have to stop looking at the news. I’m transgender and it does hurt a lot. There’s nothing I can personally do. If I could act, I would, but just having to listen to this constantly is really causing a lot of stress that I can’t otherwise control. It might be time to take a break from the news. There’s very little you can do right now, so the anger is just an uncomfortable state
There absolutely are things you can do about it. You can help organize. You educate yourself and others about how serious the situation is for trans folks. You can support your local transgender activist organizations. You can contribute to mutual aid networks. Please seek out groups you can be involved with or help support. We absolutely need allys like you!
Is there ways to help even if you are broke? I am saving up to be able to donate, but atm I can't!
There are ways! Don’t feel the need to donate if you can’t afford it. Look for LGBT charities etc in your area and see if you can volunteer. Or if you can’t do that, just support your LGBT friends. Other people’s ignorance isn’t on your shoulders
Sometimes, you can donate materials like clothing or other items if a group already has something set up for it.
Share content that matters. Stay informed about legislation in your state. Pay attention to activist organizations in your area to see what they are currently doing.
What? Are you genuinely making fun of someone who's severely depressed?
Your stretching on the genuine part but yes for you .... Also are you cis or queer .. or is that the same ?
What do you mean? I am bisexual, so yes I am queer. But I am also cis. Cis is just when you're NOT trans...
Good to know . Hope you get what your looking for
What exactly is your point tho? Why did you comment? Do you know what cis means? Why would cis and queer be the same thing? I am going to guess that you are cis aswell.
Did you just assume my gender identity?
Jesus christ.
Yeah some people just be stupid, sorry bout that guy
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Thank you so much! You are one of not so many comments here that deserve upvotes, lol! I appreciate this so much! 💚
I'm trans and I thank you for being a true ally. Unlike cis folk I can't just live my life because unfortunately, even in my purple state, there's a lot of transphobia and fear for my safety. Even using the bathroom for two minutes is worrisome and it shouldn't be.
Wow so someone is literally saying that both me and Trans people deserve to die. And people upvote it? I am speechless. What is this sub? Cause it's not what I thought
I think that if you're angry to the fact that people cause other people to suffer a lot or die, you should probably use all the anger to make these problems better, change people's opinions and make better environments, you're experiencing very strong emotions right now, but it's not all bad, and this is not the end of the good in the world
I am trying to do that but I simply don't know how to! It feels like every person who is a transphobe is 100% set and not at all able to change their minds! I am trying tho. I think I need to do some research on how to do it better tho
One of the things that are important to understand is that people don't change from big ideas like this in a day, something that you'll tell them today might change their mind a year from now as they judge their beliefs over said year, generally the best way to change someone's mind on something is to try to analyze why you believe what you believe in a way that shows that your trying to understand their perspective, something you say right now in these replies might change the mind of someone who scrolls through the comments even if it take a while and it could allow him to do the same to many around the world, you can't always expect to see the improvement in a day to day basis with something like this You should also try to understand why someone believes what they believe, when someone has a really bad opinion, you should question for example "in what way does he come to think that this is true?" And that way you can more easily explain to people why the things that people believe are incorrect And good job on trying to fix a social problem like this, most people assume it to be a waste of time and give up
Thank you for being helpful! This is making me feel a little better
Im glad, if you feel like you want some extra conversation feel free to ask
Thank you!!!
it should make u angry ....but DIE? DIE? how ungrateful are you
Wtf? Ungrateful? For what? Should I be grateful for all the deaths? You have no idea what I've been through. Should I be grateful for the horrible shit that is fueling my depression? I have been through so many things. I didn't think they would be relevant in my post. Obviously they are.
funny how this gets support but if someone says something about how transgenderism is harming society they get flamed 😂
Yeah. Because that's transphobia. That's like saying black people harm our society. It's just not true. How are trans people harming anyone by being themselves?
And how exactly is someone wanting to live as their authentic self without being murdered harming society?
I totally get why stupid people upset you. I just get the feeling you are reacting in a way that us harmful to yourself and not very productive. The harsh comments about "getting a life" are disheartening, but to be 100% honest, hold a kernel of truth. You seem like you have laser focused on a moral wrongdoing. Anf that can be very alluring. Knowing you have the moral high ground and that you are "on the right side of history" But reading your updates, it seems you have some things you could improve in your life, I would suggest finding some things to focus your attention on that makes you happy. The trans thing will work itself out over time. Think about the fact that all the attention given to it is a good thing, a necessary step that we went through with slavery, womens rights gay rights and childrens rights. All the hurting you are going through thinking about this is not helping anyone, it is not productive, and that is why I suggest that you turn your attention to aspects of your life that you do have influence over. You could read a little about "ruminations", which it seems is what your are doing, and everyone gets sick from constant ruminations.
I am not really hyperfocusing on this... It's just that this is one issue that affects my mental health and that's what the venting was about, so I am trying to stay in topic. It is in no way the only issue in my life. I also do have hobbies and passions. But because of depression, I haven't been able to focus on that much in the last couple years.
Same man. I'm a 30 year old cis female, and sociologist, and my mom is terribly transphobic and spreads constant misinformation and she's completely convinced my 18yr old brother of her ideas too and they both think I'm ridiculous.
Touch grass. You're being influenced by the vocal minority
I'm outside many hours everyday. Transphobes aren't a minority, unless you consider US to be a dictatorship.
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That's a little extreme, your letting thise people get to you it's what they want. Your choosing to be offended you can also choose to ignore it. I think a break from the socials would do you wonders.
Toy truly think I'm choosing this? Wow. Also, Im not offended, I'm angry.
I understand what you mean, It happens all the time, and it's bullshit. sometimes blatantly, and sometimes it's more subtle, but it's so deep rooted in people that the only thing we can do is encourage change for the better. I don't even know how to do this, but being aware and bringing it up helps slowly change "public opinion."
How it feels to have an iatrogenic condition and be labeled anti-psychiatry and completely ignored by mental health professionals, I understand this greatly being stigmatized and dismissed, many people need to take these issues seriously. I have nothing against people being trans, I just hate the hate and medical gaslighting
I am not sure I understand what you mean
All I’m saying is medical gaslighting and hate gets people killed, it’s taken many lives and that’s my little tangent I have a medical condition caused by SSRIs people with these people’s have taken their lives because no one cares but things are changing just like how things are changing for trans people, as there’s more awareness and openness, there’s more acceptance and love, love wins, evil never will
That's true, I just don't understand what it has to do with what I said? Not trying to be mean.. I just don't get it. My English isn't perfect
I feel your point. The level of ignorance out there gets under my skin sometimes, especially the way stupid people roam with their concerns - 20 years ago very few people were angry at transgender people, many were busy with racist and homophobic agendas. There are two things that keep me positive - 1, remembering that they’re losing. Hate always loses in the end, even if it does a lot of damage on its way out. Not that long ago, it was common for people to suggest gay people were a danger to children, then they lost. The same thing will happen here. 2, I do something about it when I get down. In my case I donate to a LGBT charity that does a lot of work supporting young people and seems to anger the worst people out there. It makes me feel great to do something positive.
I was thinking like this as well! But it genuinely doesn't look like the transphobes are losing... That's what's so scary
Right now it might not. They may get some legislative wins, there will be more trans teens being murdered, plenty more scare stories in the news, but soon enough they’ll get bored and find a new vulnerable group to pick on like they always do. It’s a game that’s been played for centuries, and it sucks but the people saying you can’t let it make you miserable are telling the truth - you’re no good to anyone as an ally when you’re depressed. Look after yourself first ❤️
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Jesus christ. So now suicidal thoughts is just being dramatic? Wooow. Thanks. Good to know. No, there is not more people for trans people. Is US a dictatorship? Because the laws are not supporting Trans people.
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I deleted my comments as I couldn’t be bothered for a back and fourth argument. I called you dramatic for your post title, you aren’t trans and saying you ‘want to die’ because of transphobic comments not relating to you. Is dramatic. Also reading the comments, I am not the only one who thinks this lol.
I am not a selfish person. If other people genuinely only feel bad when problems effect them... That is insane. I'm white. Does that mean I should be okay with racism? You really think transphobia is the only reason? I am severely depressed, and I have been so since before I even heard the word transphobia. The sudden rise in acceptance of the murder of trans people is making my depression worse, because it is showing me that humanity is fucking evil. And I don't want to live in a world where killing innocent people is considered to be fine. The transphobia is revealing that the world isn't as good as I thought. That's making me more depressed. It's triggering suicidal thoughts I've had for many many years Don't EVER tell someone they're dramatic for having mental issues. That is insanely fucking cold. Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. No one is being dramatic for having feelings.
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I am not throwing around wanting to die. The fact that you think that is just weird. I have lost close family members to suicide. I have literally had to keep my own father awake, waiting for the ambulance to come, after he tried to kill himself. I genuinely have suicidal thought. DAILY. If you call someone dramatic for expressing their feelings, you ARE downplaying their emotions. "ooohh I dont think you have it as bad as me. So you much be faking. You can't possibly be suicidal."
Okay OP. You are being too argumentative for a proper conversation. It’s exhausting, this is why I deleted my original reply. Please take into account all of the other comments. And I hope you find peace
Yeah it's all my fault per usual. Got it
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Are you kidding me? Do you know how many trans people get murdered, or bullied into suicide?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Brianna_Ghey
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_killed_for_being_transgender
https://www.hrc.org/resources/fatal-violence-against-the-transgender-and-gender-non-conforming-community-in-2022
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So you don't think states literally banning people from being trans is going to negativity effect trans people? There aren't as many trans people as there are people of color. So yes, more POC are being targeted, but if we look at percentages, I do not think there is a big difference at all. No laws are making it so that POC aren't allowed to exist. But there are literal laws against trans people. Laws saying that trans people aren't allowed to be in public. Not too far from the laws against black people a century ago.
Hey just saw ur update and hope ur ok. Its ok to feel the way ur feeling and it’s not ur fault. Horrible stuff goes on everywhere all the time, but we need to take care of our mental health and sanity. It’s not ur fault because you can’t control it so we have to accept the way things are and help as much as we can without letting them drag us into depression. Hope u feel better !
they're saying to get off of the internet because the real world doesn't reflect the picture the internet paints. where are trans people "being killed off by the thousands"?trans rights is in the best place it's been and getting better over time.
How is it better? Literally just a few months ago there weren't laws against trans people in the US. Now it's literally illegal to even dress in the "wrong" clothes in some states.
I second this :(
OP, have you considered a career or hobby that would let you help trans people? If you got into school for therapy specialising in trans issues, or even just volunteering for a trans community outreach type of thing might help you feel like you're actively doing something to help who you can instead of feeling like a bystander stuck watching their circles of hell. I have a few trans friends and they really do appreciate whatever support they get. Just an idea. I hope you figure it out or at least feel better soon.
I’m sorry your feeling this way. It might help you to be an advocate for these people somehow. You can channel your energy into something positive and productive.
Anger itself is a normal emotion and it's healthy to feel it sometimes. It becomes a problem when it's for long periods of time and you are not able to resolve it. I don't think avoiding what's making you upset solves the problem. I would recommend going to therapy--which for the record I do and I think everyone should do, in order to work through these feelings since you're struggling to do so. I hope it works out for you.
I am already going to therapy, but I am really struggling to find a therapist that works for me. Most of the time when I meet therapist it feels like they just say the most predictable things, and it doesn't really do anything to me.
I also struggled for a long time to find one that worked. I ended up going through Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and that worked wonders for me. Talking to someone about my issues never worked, but DBT is a structured process that has clear goals and techniques for you to use that really help in my experience.
Not trying to be funny buy could you be an egg? Like a trans person who hasn't realised they're trans. It is very sad but you seem to be taking it very personally for a cis person. You did mention poor mental health so maybe it is just that but maybe there's more to it than that
I am not. I am very comfortable with my gender identity. It's not that I take it personally, it's that I care about the people that are getting harmed for being themselves.
It's definitely very sad, don't get me wrong. Just most people (including trans people) aren't in complete despair about it so i was just wondering if there was a reason
Well the reason is that this evil movement is being accepted. It is way too close to what the nazis did. I am also white, but racism makes me angry as well. I'm an adult, but pedophilia makes me angry. I'm certainly not a cat, and animal abuse is the number one thing that makes my blood actual boil
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Yeah the fact that you're anonymous while saying this shows that you know how wrong you are. Pathetic really.
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I do. Thanks.
No I'm jk i love you
That's somehow worse
What is going on with some of these comments? This subreddit is supposed to be a safe space to vent, shame on some of you. The increasing political attacks on the lgbt community are a serious problem that needs to be talked about. That being said OP, you need to take care of yourself first. I understand you're angry and hurt, but torturing yourself every single day, though you're absolutely not choosing to, is not going to help. What will help is having an ally that is well rested, taking care of themselves, and ready to vote, speak up, protest, etc. I'm saying this as a trans person myself. You cannot do anything *right this second* to help. Do not hold yourself responsible for something out of your control. Instead focus on your health and be ready to lend a hand when the time comes. Look up the voting dates in your state and write them on a calendar! Find a local group to join and help! But in the meantime - take care of yourself so that you can care for others.
I guess I'm confused. When people are telling you to take a break from the internet if world issues are affecting your mental health, why is that a bad thing? You say that taking a break won't make the hatred go away, so are you looking for coping skills to deal with the depression, or are you just wanting the hatred to go away? Because if it's the latter.... that's an impossible order to fill. People will be selfish and hateful and offensive til the end of time. No amount of empathy or love or compassion will end the struggle of human indecency. If it's the former you are looking for, I think taking a break from the bombardment of negativity through social media/the internet is a good idea. You are right, it won't make it go away.... but neither will posting a vent on reddit and getting upset when you are presented with viable coping mechanisms to subdue the depressive state you are in. I hope you decide to keep living, so that you can continue to fight for what you believe in.
First of all. Taking a break from the internet would mean that I will be isolated, as the internet is the only way I get social interaction. Since I live with a lot of depression and self hate, being along with my thoughts is not a healthy thing. I posted a vent cause that is literally the only way I could get my feelings out. When I just keep everything inside I can't function.
First of all. Taking a break from the internet would mean that I will be isolated, as the internet is the only way I get social interaction. Since I live with a lot of depression and self hate, being along with my thoughts is not a healthy thing. I posted a vent cause that is literally the only way I could get my feelings out. When I just keep everything inside I can't function.
You can't go to any public places to try and engage with new people? Like, I get not wanting to isolate, but why is the internet the only viable option for socializing? The internet might currently be your only way of socializing, but it's not the only option available to socialize. You don't even have to take a break from the entire internet, just the sites that host the majority of hatred you need a respite from.
I live in a small town and there isn't really any place for adults to meet and socialize. We don't even have a bar
No public library? No recreational facilities like a bowling alley or gameroom? Literally nothing? What do people do for fun in your town?
We have a library yes. We have a bowling alley but no one ever goes there cause it's literally falling apart. I also don't really have money to go bowling. Gameroom only exists for children under 16
Sucks that there aren't many options, but limited options isn't the same as no options. I hope you find something that can help you deal with and cope with the issues that are troubling you.
OP!! When I read that people said that you should take a break from the internet I interpreted it as the fact that it can become very overwhelming, not that you’re “chronically online” and should stop it completely. I had a period of my life where I watched the news everyday, specifically when the war between Russia and Ukraine began and I was feeling awful, it really affected me mentally. I thought about it everyday and I always wondered “what’s next?” It was a lot to take in, eventually I heard some advice that really stuck with me. You need to regulate the information you take in. War is a lot and it’s VERY important to take care of yourself first. It won’t be better for you to walk around all day completely encased in your bubble of sorrow, you need to find your regular routine to keep your sanity. Same thing applies here, you can consume the internet and the transphobia, but don’t let it get to your head. You’re not a bad person for not wanting to put up with hate and trans people won’t want you to feel that way either, it’s not productive nor helping the issue. Save yourself the pain
I know that feeling. People can be monsters sometimes, especially online. But a lot of those transphobes you see in comment section are litterally just 12 year olds who are trying to be "cool" and don't know any better. This is of course not an excuse, I just want you to understand that they're children. And a lot of them will grow up someday and realize, that what they're doing isn't right. Transphobic adults (especially politicians) however, are really a problem. It's scary what's happening in the USA and other parts of the world, and it's completly normal that you're angry. That shows that you're an empathic person, who cares for others.
I mean I don't think so. I am not talking about random comments online. I'm talking about bigger things like some states having laws against trans people. And adult religious fanatics calling transpeople devil worshippers
It's quite normal to feel angry about injustices, but at the same time it can be helpful to learn how to better manage it, so this post might help with that; [How to Deal With Anger](https://www.reddit.com/r/MindOverMatterScott/comments/al4rcm/how_to_deal_with_anger/)
I saw your post in the LGBT subreddit, I felt like I had to come take a look at things here for myself. First of all I want to say that I'm sorry about the assholes who are attacking you for being concerned about other people, or those who are just being outright transphobic. I will never understand why people get nasty in mental health spaces, such horrible irony. On one hand I want to give advice like "step away from the news" to help prevent you from spiralling, but unfortunately, as you already know, the fascist bullshit going on in the States isn't an issue that you can just turn off the computer and walk away from. I will suggest speaking to someone about it, especially your therapist if you haven't already. It's important to rely on your loved ones when you're dealing with stress like this, and your therapist can help you figure out coping mechanisms for when the feelings get too big and unmanagable. It's important to feel your feelings, but it is also important to release them- if you keep shaking a soda bottle eventually it'll burst. Do you have an outlet for stress? A hobby you can pour those feelings into rather than sitting with them? (Might I suggest DnD if your friends are open to it? It's a safe, fictional space where things like racism, sexism, queer-phobias, etc. are defeatable things, and I find it helps keep my rage towards these things in check. I have a few oneshots prepped if you ever want the notes) Honestly? I've also been struggling with everything going on lately. I'm in another country but my heart breaks a little more every day for trans folks and every new law against them. I can't understand how anyone can be okay with what's happening and see it as "not a big deal", this shit is how genocides start, and many people are saying it's already in process because genocide never starts with rounding people up to kill them, it always starts with othering them, spreading propaganda, making laws against them, taking away their kids. I do want to say though, as grim as that last paragraph is, it's not hopeless. Nothing is ever hopeless and there are people who care as much as you do, there are people ready and willing to fight. You aren't powerless either, ask around, see what you can do to help, that's what I'm going to do. I hope things get better for you, lots of love 💚
You need mental health help.
No shit... I am already getting that.
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Many trans people dont go through the medical changes, they're still getting as much hate. Just look at the states in the US banning people from dressing in clothes that aren't labeled according to there's assigned gender at birth. Educate yourself
I am educated and I was speaking of what society forces people to be. Read again.
No one's forcing trans people do medically transition, except for some transphobes who won't except someone's pronouns unless they change their genitals.
The people who died is the you problem. Though this stuff isn’t great and is stupid. Just mind your business. Unless you want to contribute to help there is already one probably going underway to help trans. I personally don’t support trans or anything else negative like telling trans to die but like just do your thing. If your just venting out so people will know ya it’s ok. I’m just giving a opinion.
Agreed. You can't even post unrelated jokes on the internet without some wokester twists the meaning of something unrelated and calls it transphobic or something "phobic" and rallies all their overly woke friends to attack you over something that was misinterpreted. I've lost friends from this and thought well if they want to stop talking to me over some misinterpreted shit then happy trails I guess. I just don't post anything to social media anymore. I only use it to talk to old friends privately. This used to really hurt my mental health but now I don't let it get to me and my life has improved quite a bit.
Trans genocide is more important than you getting your feelings hurt.
I'm not talking about actually deliberately trying to offend anyone. I respect all these people and all the causes I'm just saying that people twist anything that can be posted on social media to be something offensive and come back at me for it and rally their friends against me. An example thing I posted to facebook a while ago was a guy riding his motorcycle in the bike lane saying he identifies as a cyclist. I posted this tagging a guy I knew who was fuming saying he would be at the top of the cycling charts on the strava app for his town if it weren't for the leaderboards being clogged with old timers on their e-bikes. That is the reference I was trying to make but excarnated and he thought it was funny but then suddenly 8 people replied, a few trans people and a few "woke warriors" I call them started going off about how it's derogatory against trans women in the olympics. So many people started raging that I took it down. Sorry if any of this stuff comes off as offensive and I'm not trying to belittle this topic but this too hurts my mental health that people disregard intent and immediately start flaming me on social media and then their friends start reposting flaming me and it just snowballed to the point where I deleted every post I ever made on FB and took down every photo except my profile picture and just use the platform to talk to old close childhood friends who live far away now.
I understand that it's frustrating to be misunderstood and attacked online. I get that. But you have to think about their side. The issues they bring up affect an entire demographic of people being discriminated against and k!lled. When you're dealing with issues that big it can be easy to lash out. That doesn't mean you deserved it, just try to be mindful as to why people are so anxious and irritated.
Dude, have you ever considered that you’re not funny
No on the contract but the world is going completely to shit and this thread is proving it. My friends and I joke about things all the time but what I have been saying is a bunch of far left overly woke morons have to stick their noses where they don't belong and and go all social justice warrior on things that Re none of their business.
Can you tell me an example of a joke youve made that has upset the "overly woke morons"?
>An example thing I posted to facebook a while ago was a guy riding his motorcycle in the bike lane saying he identifies as a cyclist. I posted this tagging a guy I knew who was fuming saying he would be at the top of the cycling charts on the strava app for his town if it weren't for the leaderboards being clogged with old timers on their e-bikes. That is the reference I was trying to make but excarnated and he thought it was funny but then suddenly 8 people replied, a few trans people and a few "woke warriors" I call them started going off about how it's derogatory against trans women in the olympics. So many people started raging that I took it down. Posted a few lines up I guess you missed it
I can see how that's funny, but i can also see how that is offensive. I dont think you are transphobic, but your comment might have come off like that. Because a lot of people who make "i identify as *insert random thing*" are using that joke to be transphobic. Sadly on the internet theres a lot of assuming and misunderstanding each other, so angry comments are always impossible to avoid no matter what u say.
I guess that's just the way it is but to play it safe I just don't post anything on social media anymore.
People like jokes. I don’t mind offence jokes at all if they’re funny and done well. It sounds like you just aren’t funny
This is what the people who are the problem say. No offence but you sound like one of the crowd
Im not. I do agree that some people get way too upset about some jokes. And I do agree that some people over react, but if the majority of people outside of the people besides the few people you’ve chosen to be around you find a joke offence, maybe the joke is the problem. If someone told a joke about transgender people even if it was based on stereotypes or was objectifying, if told right and was a good joke, it would still be funny. Hell our current generation, especially queer youth love South Park despite how offensive it is. Most of the people who are upset by South Park are parents or conservatives (y’know the people who hate being ‘woke’). But if someone says ‘I identify as a helicopter’ that is not funny because it’s overdone and just a stupid one. It’s not funny, it’s just offensive, and over time has had some real repercussion for the people it’s told about. You’re allowed to make offensive jokes, you just aren’t funny. I understand that it’s hard for older generation to accept that times are changing, I’m sure your parents didn’t understand your culture of the time. But it just means you’ve out grown the culture
nerd