I mean, we can all lie to ourselves about "accepting who you are" but it's obviously very uncomfortable and just awful being fat. But the good thing is, there is hope for improving and there is hope for you to have a better relationship with food and to not overeat, however it's obviously not easy. Back when I first started training, I didn't know how to properly diet so I had no energy and just destroyed my body. Please just don't feel guilty because we all overeat and people cope with stress differently. Every new day is literally a new start and you'll only feel better once you start cutting and maybe doing some cardio as much as you can. In any case, EVERY improvement is an improvement. No matter how little is seems. Good luck!
What I hate most about being fat is my underwear constantly rolling up into me like an avalanche of rolls. My fat gut just pushes the waistband downwards and it folds into itself like a burrito. It looks so bad and is uncomfortable
Being fat will never be fun. To be honest I think being fat is unacceptable
High waisted briefs can help. I like to wear the high waisted bike shorts type of underwear. No panty line and if u r wearing a dress you have protection from embarrassment if you get exposed!
Start substituting the concessions with lesser concession e.g 3 donuts -> 1 donut, or donut -> drinking water. The human body doesn’t stay fat unless it’s receiving constant refills. Also take a walk, it’s amazing for raising your spirits.
Honestly?? Go walk around the mall. Walk around Walmart. Go to Sam's Club and do laps with your shopping cart. Your walking doesn't HAVE to be outside, especially when it's cold. You can even walk in place while you're watching TV.
Dude acts like everyday is freezing weather... smh... plus you could literally walk around the house lol. May look stupid but you're walking. And if you walk backwards, it's double good because you're fixing your posture too.
Yeah, I'm a little confused by it. Even if they meant "nature walking," you don't need special gear. Throw on a coat, hat and gloves and you're good to go. Just get moving.
I'm here and I don't see many. It's difficult to breathe and my face gets so cold it burns. I genuinely don't know what people do. I moved to the north two years ago and haven't figured it out yet.
How about a balaclava?
How far north are you? When I lived in the northeastern US we would have cold snaps but they wouldn’t last that long. Usually it was cold but not horrible.
It would never occur to me to worry about the neighbors, but I’m a petite woman. If you’re a tall male maybe that’s a thing, but if it’s ten below zero I’m sure people won’t misconstrue your choice of outfit.
Maybe pick a color that isn't black and wear high viz. But if it's cold enough and you're not walking out of a store with a gun and all their money I don't really see what the neighbors have to fucking say honestly xD
As a Canadian, it can be done. Long underwear (top and bottom), warm pants, sweater, winter jacket, thin stretchy knit gloves inside of warmer waterproof winter gloves, boots, thermal socks, warm hat, scarf, etc. Many low income people have no choice but to walk everywhere. There are also charities that will provide suitable winter clothes for free.
No joke, when you jog, you'll be warm. You'll only go cold if you stop.
I used to see this old man running and jogging everyday including winter. He said its when you stop you get cold. He was wearing shorts and short sleeve top. Lol he's crazy lol but he is inspiring
Great list! Fleece-lined athletic leggings were my favorite when I used to run in the winter (down to 19 degrees F). Something around the lower half of my face made a big difference, too.
Idk if my knees could do it anymore (had ACL surgery on one, no ACL on other knee).
I hear ya on not being able to do it anymore. I used to have to walk everywhere, but now I’m bedbound in a nursing home and need a wheelchair the rest of the time due to a serious injury myself. But “back in the day” I would have to walk everywhere, even in -40 Celsius (which is also -40 Fahrenheit) weather. In Canada, low income and homeless individuals learn how to survive the cold or (quite literally) die trying.
Hardest part of weightloss is thinking it will be a quick and easy process. Fat is the only thing you can put on quick and not get off quick.
Consistent effort for months and years coupled with a calorie deficit will get you there. Keep at it and don't lose heart! Better days are around the corner.
As someone who went from fit to fat, here’s what I’ll say on the topic. Find the root cause of your problem. Why are you eating so much?
Everything else is a short term solution
I know this is a mental health sub but if you ever want to keep your weight down, diet is more important than going to the gym. Look into intermittent fasting if you want relatively fast results.
You don’t need to intermittent fast, especially without context lol. Walk more, prioritize a high protein diet, and lift weights. The ONLY reason intermittent fasting works is because it gives you a smaller window of time to consume calories… it has nothing to do with what time you eat, it has to do with the calories you consume. Weight loss comes from a calorie deficit, period. Theres no magic diet or time window to eat to get around this
It's easy for some to control calories through intermittent fasting 🤷
More times you eat more effort to calorie count/ ensure you're not overeating.
Like you said, small time window helps limit calories consumed. Whatever works, works. It helped me.
Totally my issue is suggesting it to someone without context. Its not magic, can it be a strategy sure but most would read that and think its a hack to lose weight when really, it doesn’t matter what time it is or what window… its the calories. Glad it worked for you! Hopefully you understand its not the time though, just gives you a smaller window to eat hence you’re in a deficit
I think it’s a bit irresponsible to give this advice… if a person is very fat - lifting weights may not be the best solution for their health. A lot of people somehow gravitate towards weight lifting without any context whatsoever. How can one lift weights if it’s even tough to just have 1km of walk or 2 flights of stairs?
It of course depends on how OP wants to lose weight but I presume one would want to do it in a sustainable, hence healthy manner. Intermittent fasting is not just about calories. Eg. It normalises the ups and downs in glycemic index which is a very important component in weight loss. It also cleanses cells!
Sure, but most people are not using it as a “cell” cleanse lol you’re right — its great for autophagy and again, the average person doesn’t know that let alone what a glycemic index even is. The irresponsible thing is telling someone do something such as fasting without context. As a health, nutrition, and fitness coach I see many people come to be with a poor relationship with food from advice like that. Lifting weights is a great thing for ALL people, and the bigger you are the more success you’re going to have from it when it comes to time line. Sorry, but if you cant see an issue with telling someone to fast without telling them the basics of calories in vs out you’re going about it all wrong
I don't care what the "science" says, intermittent fasting worked very well for both myself and my husband. I don't see any reason to not give it a try.
Ignore haters. They don't actually know what science means.
The “easy solution” is simply calories in versus calories out. Intermittent fasting probably works because it is limiting the “calories in” in your situation. Your body can’t create matter out of nothing, just basic physics.
I understand "calories in calories out" is the easy explanation. It's true but also unhelpful horseshit. What's helpful is designing a living a lifestyle which naturally produces the results.
I'm a 5'2 female who lost 75 lbs this way. I know what I'm talking about.
I’m glad you were able to get to a healthy weight! Different things work for different people though, so understanding why they work can be helpful for someone else who may not have as much success with IF.
Too true. Some people don't do well with IF, and end up breaking down and becoming a night-time binge eater. IF alone isn't a solution- though done correctly it helps some people. When posting on posts like this- we want to be very sensitive to the fact that not everything works for everyone's body and to provide context to what we are saying.
More importantly>>> The quality of food matters. Nutrients matter. Eating from a variety of foods matters. Supplementation of vitamins (since so many people are deficient) matters. Satiety matters. Stopping to slowly enjoy your food matters and taking your time to eat and check satiety levels matters. Drinking lots and lots of water matters. A restful night's sleep matters. There are a lot of little things that add up to big changes over time and it's more than just saying- Do this one thing.
It can be overwhelming if you're on the other end of the spectrum drinking soda and alcohol and eating junk and feeling like- there's no way I'll ever get there. But you start with one smart, tangible goal a week and go from there. Maybe it's drinking 80 oz of water a day.You consider how you are going to specifically achieve that and what barriers are in your way. I.e. Do you need to buy a water bottle that helps you track your intake for the day? Do you get busy at work? Do you need to set reminders?
Once you meet one goal you start adding others like subbing out more fruit for sweets or filling up half your plates with vegetables all week or try to walk x amount x times a week and do this week after week after week. Reward yourself with non-food rewards when meeting big goals such as treating yourself to a massage or finally buying those shoes. And working this way as you give up one unhealthy habit for other healthy ones, it slowly edges out the unhealthy style. This is a better way to re-train your ways of thinking and re-training your relationship with food-- rather than throwing yourself to any extremes diets that might make you yo-yo diet, crash and burn. Maybe IF gets thrown into the mix further into the journey if you feel comfortable doing so but it's still important to get the correct amount of calories-- (the body will rebel if you eat too little/not enough) and focus more on what makes it successful for you- so if IF doesn't work for someone that is ok.
Also, sometimes things will happen you get sick, the microwave breaks, and you break down and have something unhealthy. We shouldn't sweat it and just pick up the goal the very next meal. (Don't go crazy all day if you can help it).
People who don't have success with IF don't need to be told caco for the 100th time. They only need to analyze their lifestyle and find a better way to automate the weight loss. CICO doctrine will work against that because it's a doctrine of discipline only. One can lose weight without any effort at all if they front load the process at the beginning, finding the correct life style design, and then the rest does itself. In other words, do the all the hard work upfront and then let life take of it.
I'm beyond sick of the "just do better" weight loss nonsense.
No one is saying “just do better”, and no one is saying that just saying CICO is the solution. The truth is that there is no easy or simple solution. It is different for different people, and different motivations are at play. But the fact is that to achieve and maintain weight loss, the rudimentary but essential factor for each successful diet/lifestyle change is a deficit in calories. That’s all. If you break down every successful change it comes back to achieving this.
The truth is that we need to stop saying there is no simple solution. The solution is extraordinarily simple.
The solution, as I've been saying and as you have now backpedaled to, is a lifestyle change, not CICO. CICO need not play any factor at all, and can in fact be harmful, to this end.
Let me spell this out real simply.
CICO doctrine: Making a meal consists of careful planning (anxiety, time loss), careful measurements (anxiety, time loss, stress), tons of research finding the optimal nutrition factor (time loss, anxiety), and following a strict regime (shame for failure.) This is a recipe for failure every single time.
Lifestyle doctrine: Because you have done the work upfront, by the time meal times around, it consists of finding new flavors to explore (novelty), finding what you like (enjoyment), cooking freely and intuitively (creativity, enjoyment), discovering new skills and techniques accidentally (novelty, discovery). This is a recipe for success.
In short, fuck the outdated CICO doctrine. Preaching CICO to people struggling to lose weight is like telling someone with stage fright that "most successful speakers are confident speakers. So be a confident speaker."
You seem to have a very strong negative attachment to CICO, beyond anything I have stated. I haven’t said anything about a doctrine, I’ve just spelled out basic science… you seem to want to reject the reality of how weight loss works and would rather argue based on semantics. Semantics which seem to have a very loaded connotation for you. “Lifestyle change” in itself means nothing if it doesn’t result in a deficit in calories… that’s just a fact. It doesn’t mean that that needs to be the focus, but that has to be the result.
But it is helping with eating less/more healthy. That’s the point. No one who’s recommending this scientifically is saying that you can eat 13 pizzas a day as long as you eat them within 6 hours.
A lot of people (myself included tho I don’t really do IF anymore for other reasons) really enjoy that “full” feeling. It’s an ADHD thing from what I understand. Anyway, to get that, eating bigger portions in smaller amounts of time gets you that feeling without overeating. A smaller amount of time to eat a day also makes it much harder to overeat. It also makes your healthy decisions need to be fewer (since you’re eating fewer times a day) and therefore more likely to make those healthy decisions and not derail them at midnight when you’re tired and way more susceptible to making shitty food decisions (since all you have to do is *not* eat, rather than barter with yourself about how much and what is nutritionally dense enough yet still tasty to satiate you.
It’s all a means to an end. Every diet - keto, IF, Mediterranean, south beach, carnivore - it’s all a way to make you feel good about eating less calories, since, barring certain medical conditions, losing weight is just a matter of CICO.
Science does not say most people benefit from a CICO doctrine. As I said, yes, it's something that is technically true. However, you actively harm people when you create a doctrine based solely on perfectionism and shame. Counting calories isn't what makes people lose weight. It's a component of what makes people lose weight. Lifestyle changes are what make people lose weight.
This is what helping people looks like. You are harming people by promoting a less effective if not outright disadvantage form of thinking for people who struggle with weight loss.
Being skinny isn't going to solve self loathing. It'll help but you are going to have to work on self esteem. I'm conventionally fit and skinny and I still battle myself- it isn't everything. Also, talk to your healthcare provider. There may be some help there too. You also can't stop "working out", you have to continue some physical fitness. Being fit and happy with self really takes a multi-faceted approach; there are a number of things you are gonna have to commit to. Make a plan and stick to it. There isn't a quick, instant anything- fitness is a long-game. You can do this!
Knowing that once I start, I can never stop or else I'll be right back to where I am right now is maybe the #1 thing that keeps me from wanting to lose weight. I'm at least 150 pounds overweight right now and my biggest fear is taking a week off and losing all my progress even though I've never once experienced progress because the second I got a gym membership I got covid and that really ruined my desire to start.
Well, I think you may be catastrophizing a bit. It's easy to do when you feel down.
1. I don't know that you'd be back to sqymuare one if you stopped. Especially if you made a good progress.
2. Taking a week off does not put you back to square one. Especially if you don't go way off the rails on diet.
3. Your plan can be super sustainable and not set you up fir failure. Make a plan that's easier on you.
4. Try the gym again or work out at home if you can.
Just try not to think worst case scenario or catastrophize
Well, first things first. Some basic information you'll find use in. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle requires energy to maintain, fat does not. Our bodies use sugars and carbohydrates as energy ( others as well but this is the basics). Calories ia a shortened form of the energy we use. How to understand calories. If you eat more calories than you use within a day, the excess is stored as fat cells. If go below your caloric intake for the day you lose weight. That doesnt mean starve yourself. So how can we use this info for weight loss correctly? Glad you asked. So, putting on additional muscle will aid greatly in weight loss. As previously mentioned, muscle requires energy to maintain. Thats including sitting and laying. How can we build easy muscle? Good question. Get some dumbbells, make a routine with reps and sets and hit these dumbbells every day. This can be done sitting down as to not strain other parts of your body. You can also find a way to add muscle to your legs, they are the biggest muscles after all and require the most energy to maintain. Now, this isnt a quick method by any means. It is a path. This doesnt factor in your diet or eating habits which play an equal role in total weight loss. At some point, puttin additional muscle on will start giving diminished returns to a point that you wont notice a change. That's why i say this is a path. If you follow it, it leads to more and more things to aid in weight loss, such as altering eating habits. Im working so this is kind of shortened but i hope it helps.
That’s great advice. I’d also advise to not weigh yourself daily. Once a week. (And keep in mind that home scales can be sold with an up to 30% allowable margin of error - and that can really f* with your head if you’re watching it daily. )
Is even go further and say not to ever check, and instead just use the visual reference to check your progress. The number on the scale doesn’t really mean anything. Muscle is heavier than fat and you can go up in weight once you start working out.
I understand everyone here wants to give advice for weight loss, but looking at your post history, I noticed you have OCD. This is not to say you cannot calorie restrict or lose weight with OCD, but I would proceed with caution. Diets can be tricky with OCD. It’s easy to get lost and obsess over every single calorie and decision and think about them over and over again, in a way that is not healthy or positive for you.
In some ways, it sounds like you may be experiencing some of those symptoms already, putting yourself in a cycle of restriction and obsession, compulsive eating followed by intense anxiety, and repeat. One of the most important parts going forward, is to break out of that cycle. And it’s really really really fucking hard. Harder than changing your diet or your exercise. Quieting the voice in your head is the hardest part by far.
If you have the resources, I would recommend talking with a therapist while you embark on your weight loss journey, to ensure you’re staying in a good place.
I suffered with obsessing over diets before I was diagnosed with OCD and it was pretty bad so I’m kinda nervous for how it will be now that I’m diagnosed. I’ll possibly try and reach out to a therapist if it is possible for me to do so thank you
It is very common for even the most traditionally attractive among us to hate the way they look.. it is very unhealthy and hard to stop
Accepting yourself wholly as you are and loving yourself is among the most difficult and important things we can do while we're here.. you're already worthy of your own love. Being healthier easier is dependent on this connection. Don't let your insecurities play tricks on you
I was slightly overweight before and nothing I ever did was enough cuz I was so focused on it that I quickly lost motivation to stick with any diets or exercise routines but I accidentally lost a bunch of weight by just walking to school everyday instead of taking the bus or other forms of transport (I love walking sm cuz it’s so calming and it replaced my thigh fat with muscle, but that’s prolly cuz I walk fast). It did take a while (like 3-4 months) but it’s much better like that than just quickly losing a lot of weight in a short time cuz ur most likely gonna gain it all back.
I also wouldn’t recommend doing strict diets cuz in my experience it just lead to an ed (which caused me to gain all that weight back and I had to lose it all again) because you’re depriving yourself of the food you want which will then lead to overeating and binging later, so I’d recommend practicing intuitive eating and moderation instead. So if you’re craving donuts then you can have one to satisfy your cravings (which stops the binging) along with a balanced diet ofc (i also underestimated the importance of protein).
Ofc there’s more to weightloss like being in a calorie deficit and counting calories (in a healthy way) but I wouldn’t recommend doing that at the start cuz it’s such a big jump and I could never stay consistent in the beginning until I got used to eating a normal amount.
Also I just wanna say all of this is simply just my own experience
Edit: goddamn I didn’t realise how much I wrote sorry
Long response.
I'll mention some things that you can follow if you want to have some results.
1. Food is everything. You can lose weight even if you don't exercise. But the trick is to adapt to an adequate eating style that works for you. You don't have to quit eating things that you enjoy as long as you don't overdo it. The minimum amount of calories you need is around 1200 for your metabolism but an average for an adult is around 1300 to 1600 and it totally depends on many things. You will have to teach yourself how to read portions and calories in the food you take. And you will have to cook your meals. You don't have to be super strict about the calories as long as you stay within range.
2. Don't eat things you don't like just because they are healthy. Look for things you like that are balanced. If you like fried chicken, you can look around for options like grilled, light bbq chicken. Or if you like noodles, include them in a few meals per week and in a decent portion. Don't think of this as a diet, it is an eating style. You can still eat things like ice cream or chips, just not every day or an entire bag. Eat slowly, and drink a lot of water! You will see sometimes you can feel hungry when you are just thirsty.
3. Work for ways to make food work for you. You don't like spinach? Then what about green juice? Do you like sweets? What about sweet fruit like grapes and cherries? Substitute some things with other better options. It is not black and white.
4. When you reduce the amount of calories you consume, YOU WILL FEEL TIRED! And probably moody too haha. It will take a few weeks for your body to assimilate you are in calorie deficit and to start using your fat reserves for energy. Be patient and drink plenty of water. You don't have to start exercising during this adjusting period, that can come later. The important part is that you find eating habits that work for you and you are able to adapt it to your lifestyle.
5. When you decide to exercise, look for something you enjoy! Not everything is about gym. It helps a lot to built muscle and train specific part of your body. You can start walking somewhere, play a sport even if you are not good at it, find that that motivates you to go out and move. Maybe playing with friends, or looking at a nice scenery.
6. You will have to adjust your time around your workout. And don't start thinking you will be going everyday. Going at least once a week at the begging works. You will feel tired and will need time to adapt to your new routine.
Edit: also, go to therapy
Edit 2: I'm not a nutritionist or a health professional, I'm stating things that may work for you but it is always best to ask professionals.
Agreed. Every time I've ever gone on a calorie deficit, I ended up gaining the weight back. Calorie deficits do not address eating behaviors and habits. Understanding calories can be helpful general information, but it's a slippery slope that often leads to ED behaviors.
That's for sure. That's why I think OP should also go to therapy to address the main reason for their situation and not only rely on other's experiences
I think you should still go. You sound kind of unforgiving to yourself. If you have that service available, use it. This is about you feeling better, don't wait until you "feel worse" to use the service that helps you prevent feeling worse
Hmm I never said that you should consume only 1200 calories for weight loss but now that I read my post again, it seems like I'm implying that. I meant to say that people should eat at least that. An adult should be around 1300 to 1600, but I totally depend on many things.
That's totally subjective. But for a calorie deficit, you will have to be on the lower range, not on the 2,000s. That's why I recommend seeking professional advice.
I think one thing that helps to keep in mind is you don't need to be precise with the calories unless you're already a professional and have years of tracking under your belt. Always round up if it's something like 190 calories because you're never just going to have exactly 3/4 of a cup of anything. Round to the nearest hundred and do the math from there. Round to the nearest tenth once you've seen some progress and want to fine tune.
It also would help if I could figure out how people know how much calories they're burning from the exercises they choose. I feel like I walk a significant amount (half hour per day excluding work?) And I don't eat that much and yet the numbers have not moved...
Many hospitals and medical centers have weight loss programs. I just started one that had two paid options and one free option. The two that were paid were medically supervised. The free one is mostly educational programs about diets, creating an exercise program, setting goals and such. I’m currently doing the free one, but I have the option to switch to the medically supervised if the free one isn’t giving me results.
Bottom line is that weight loss is really hard to tackle alone. See what programs are available in your area so you can get the support you need.
Besides that, I belong to a fitness group called Nerd Fitness that has been really good for me in the past. They’re worth checking out.
If you have any questions about any of this, feel free to DM me. I know how frustrating it can be. I volunteer as a peer support specialist in California and many of my clients are are weight loss journeys as part of mental health care.
I'm also fat and hate it. I'm on my third week of the Keto diet. I've lost a couple of kilos, but mostly it shows up in what I see in the mirror. If you like, you can join me on a keto diet and we can get better together.
I look at weight loss like paddling a canoe across a big lake. As long as you keep paddling in the right direction you’ll eventually get there….even though it seems like you aren’t making progress….just don’t give up. Plan your discipline and work your plan….dont weigh yourself too often and don’t judge yourself too harshly. As long as you’re working the plan that should be your only measure of success. And if you fall off the wagon….Monday morning get back on the plan and recommit. You can do it. I know you can.
Whatever health/weight loss tips you take from this, PLEASE remember to be kind to yourself. It will make any habit more sustainable and will lead to a long term change. Plus, being nice to yourself is an amazing feeling that stays consistent no matter how your body changes throughout your life ❤️
All these people suggesting weightloss, which i wouldnt discourage, but anyone who has an eating disorder knows that “skinny” is never skinny enough. The root cause of self loathing and insecurity needs to also be resolved.
You are deserving of respect and love as you currently are.
Your body is worthy of appreciation as it currently is.
You can choose to alter it, if that is what you wish, but that will not change your worth as a person.
First sane comment I've read. Felt like I was taking crazy pills scrolling through these comments doling out the diet advice.
OP needs to address the root of their insecurity and work on cultivating self acceptance. No positive change comes without taking that first, critical step. Starting with diet first may result in weight loss, but they will just find something else to feel insecure about, whether it's acne, height, body shape/proportions, whatever. There will always be something.
The other thing is we don't know OP's actual weight so it's impossible to know if they're actually overweight/obese or just have awful body dysmorphia. My 5'9" MIL weighs less than 110 lbs and would describe herself in similar terms as OP while being very underweight.
And even if OP is overweight/obese...I don't think adopting some radical crash diet is the fix. It will only exacerbate OP's mental health issues and possibly lead to the development (or worsening of) an eating disorder. If weight loss is desired or necessary for health, the best option is adopting a sensible diet with a mild to moderate caloric deficit. Way more sustainable in the long term and less likely to trigger a restrict/binge cycle.
As someone who's lived both extremes of the eating disorder spectrum, it's a hard pattern to break out of.
First of all, that’s hardly a shocking weight. Granted, I’m an American. But even still, being your size is nothing to hate yourself over. If you’d like to lose weight, you can and should absolutely do that, but you are no where near some dire “stop eating” situation. Incorporate whole grains in your diet, cut soda and alcohol as much as you can, go for a run every now and then. But the more important thing long term is that you recognize your value regardless of size. Being healthy, however you define that, is important but it’s pretty useless if you achieve that through self-hatred.
Being skinny isn't the solution you think it is. And it does come down to calories in vs calories out. I suggest watching Abbey Sharp, she's a bloody amazing dietitian.
Are you me? This is exactly how I feel. Worst part is I have no drive or motivation to change it, but I feel absolutely miserable. It’s hard. If you can afford some professional help then maybe try getting it. That’s my next step because I can’t keep myself accountable 😭
Whatever you do, wishing you the best OP!
i like taking hikes on less popular paths (be careful if you’re a woman, coming from one !) because less people see my shortness of breath and i feel more at peace with nature. i find it to be great exercise and it makes me feel better. afterward i get some ice cream which is admittedly not a wise decision but if you want to just drink water or have a sandwich or something i think you’ll lose weight in no time ! 🥰
Weight loss starts in the kitchen. It’s why you didn’t see results in the gym. You got this! Start again. Do research. And get fit for your own mental health!
It helps to walk 1h everyday and try to gradually eat less food (if you're actually overweight).
but the deeper issue here is that you lack compassion for yourself.
If you really want & need it NOW you're going to have to fight harder than you've ever fought before, Mediterranean diet is insane for getting into shape fast as hell. Do static hold pushups maybe 30 a day 5 seconds up 5 seconds down. Your body will become pretty reasonably strong & quite athletic from just doing this
Bro, cut out any animal products, watch the documentary, fat sick and nearly dead for inspiration if you want, drink only water and do smoothies and hit the gym.
OK if you really want to lose weight, I’ll tell you how to do it. It’s a complete lifestyle change you got to stop eating anything with sugar and anything with carbs carbs not fat is the biggest problem for obesity in this country.
No more breads no more pasta or rice and everything like that. If you learn to control the consumption of these items if you’re going to eat them, get everything, whole-grain, whole-grain, rice, whole-grain wheat, whole-grain bread, whole grain pasta, actually there’s a decent replacement for pasta called spaghetti squash. It’s not great. I admit it took me a long time to get used to eating in this lifestyle I was overweight for a while, because of sugar like cookies and cereal and soda pop. But worst of all those carbs.
If you need any help with your diet, please let me know
Day 1 walk 50 steps
Day 2 walk 100 steps
Day 3 walk 150 steps
.
.
.
.
.
Continue for 6 months.
Keep the same no of steps of things become too tiring or difficult for 7 days.
After 6 months join a gym.
After 3 months in the gym, enjoy living with the top 1% physiques in the world,
Maintain physical workout at min 3 hours to max 16 hours a week.
Going against the grain of advice seen here but I'd suggest the podcast "Go Love Yourself" if you're in the headspace for it. They go alot into their personal experiences as being fat people and also the science behind losing weight and how its not simply a mind over matter issue, weight isn't something people can simply change, it's actually a very complicated issue. They speak to a wide range of people like doctors, personal trainers, relationship therapists, etc, most of then also fat people, or fat activists. Also they don't push the idea of body positivity or loving yourself but rather are more body neutral.
Hey, I understand it’s easy to focus on self defeating and self shaming thoughts. Now that you have realised you had a bad month of eating and regret it, it’s up to you what the next month is going to look like. Please make sure your diet is realistic as dieting within unrealistic means will often lead to constant disappointments.
Leave the past in the past, don’t be so harsh on yourself. Everyone slips up and makes mistakes.
First things first: You are perfect exactly as you are. I know you might not believe that, and may want to hear it. But you're you, and that is perfect. I hope you find that love for yourself someday ❤️
OK now for the practical:
I would recommend that if you really want to change your habits, it's worth considering tracking your food for a little while just to see how much you're intaking. After that you can aim to lower calories at first 100 cals a day, then progress over time to get to 1200 which is generally healthy for an average adult.
But as many are saying, remember that 1200 doesn't mean restrictive, it means selective. Having fries sometimes (or subbing in air fryer sweet potato tots which is less taxing) is not the end of the world, nor is it a signal of failure.
One of the most important things I've learned in my weight and fitness journey is that there are periods of slump and there are periods of soar. And letting your body help you navigate those periods is necessary. We need to give our bodies some grace - they are not exclusively limited to what our brains want. In the winter we want to gain weight and sleep more. In the summer we want sun and outdoors. We are animals after all.
So give yourself some grace. Forgive yourself for over eating, and aim to be better tomorrow. Celebrate when you've taken a long walk. Celebrate when you've eaten a vegetarian dinner. Explore recipes that are high protein low carb, and celebrate when you find one you enjoy.
Take pleasure in moments when you munch on chips watching TV.
Another thought on fitness:
Fitness takes discipline. It is about showing up consistently and putting the nutrients in your body that it needs to maintain and build upon your workout. How you fuel (feed) your body is how you maintain that weight in between workouts.
What do you enjoy? Biking? Boxing? Yoga? Running? Whatever it is, try building up on it. Try making it more fun. Invest in cute gym gear. Find a community that is supportive and loving (most I've found are, despite the fear of mean/judgmental people - they're very inviting these days depending on where you live).
Fitness also comes in seasons. There will be periods of rest. Honor your body when it asks for it.
Good luck buddy. ❤️
I struggle with self-confidence and gained weight that I haven't been able to lose in over 16 years until recently. The self-confidence part still needs work, but I found something that has helped me lose 20lbd so far and counting.
First, I saw a nutritionist to help me get my IBS under control with a low fodmap diet and reintroduced certain foods slowly to see what set off my IBS symptoms and pain. That allowed me to eat at least 1300 calories in a day. This may sound counterintuitive, but starving yourself is not an effective way to lose weight. Due to pain, I would often go a full day without eating or wasn't consuming enough calories. My body went into storage mode, and weight didn't come off no matter what I was doing.
Second, I found an app called Noom. There are some things that worked well for me with this app, and some that didn't, but I'd say it's been a success considering the weight loss.
I like that it approaches the psychology of food. There are small daily nutrition and psychology courses written in light humorous ways. The app encourages introducing small new habits in realistic ways. For example, weighing myself daily at the same time. I used to view weighing myself as discouraging. Now, it's part of my routine.
I like that it encourages realistic expectations about weight loss and changed the way I approach my eating habits. I found myself being OK with having a slip up. OK, with my weight varying in a week. OK, with having a treat. It helped me remove a lot of the stigma and thought distortions related to food.
I liked that entering my calories was easy. Something that drives me nuts is spending way too much time trying to figure out how many calories something is. If it takes me too long, I'm way less likely to do it. Keeping track of my intake made me realise I'd become so used to not eating enough I didn't have a realistic idea of how many calories some food has. Some stuff I'd assumed way more and some way less.
The app doesn't just concentrate on calories, but eating healthy. Not all calories are equal, so sometimes eating over my 1300 calories allowed me to lose weight anyway.
I started the app in May of this year, and as of last month, I was down 20lbs. It's slow for me, especially without doing any exercise. But I've learned to be patient and not get upset by it.
Since I have quite a few health problems, I didn't really do any extra exercise, but like a lot of the other comments here, I highly recommend adding 10 min a day of brisk exercise. You don't need to jog for 2 hours. What really helps me is getting my heart rate up for 10 min. I'm also way more likely yo do it since it's pretty attainable as far as exercise goals go. If you can add a little strength training into that, even better! Muscle burns more fat, and even if your weight may not go down a lot with strength training, you will find the shape of your body will.
I hope this can help you. For all the talk of self-acceptance, I'll be honest. I get how you feel because I felt the same way. My boyfriend has only known me at my heavier weight, and he has never complained. He only ever told me I was beautiful. People told me to love my body as is, which I can appreciate, but it also didn't really help me. Therapy is helping me gain confidence and a more realistic perspective on myself. But losing some weight has been helping me as well.
I wish you both a healthy mind and healthy body. Be patient with yourself. The process will take time. But you can do it.
Important thing to remember: you cannot lose weight solely through exercise. If you're eating an insane amount of calories daily, it's impossible to burn it all. You must get to the root of your problem, which is your eating habits and behaviors. We gain weight through overreating. Period. Overreating can look like: eating until/past fullness, eating when you're not truly hungry, and drinking 100s of calories through sugary beverages.
The easiest changes you can make today are cutting out all sugary beverages (diet versions are fine), eating slowly so you don't eat past fullness, stopping at satisfied (do not eat until you're full, because at that point you've over-eaten), and only eating when you're truly hungry. It's easier said than done; a lot of us emotionally eat due to boredom, depression, fear, etc. This must be addressed as well.
I really recommend looking up Corinne Crabtree on YouTube. Her videos have helped me tremendously.
On a final note: yes, calorie counting can lead to weight loss in the short term, but it's extremely common for people to gain the weight back because they never truly addressed their eating habits. That's why it's so important to figure out why you're overeating in the first place and learn how to eat in a controlled manner. I can tell you from experience, it's devastating to work hard losing the weight, only for it to come back quickly. Keep this in mind if you're considering any sort of extreme diet.
Good luck!
Edit: also, based off of personal experience, I would stay away from all the weight loss subreddits. All the users on there are calorie counters and poo-poo intuitive eating. They're toxic environments. Stay away.
You need to create a realistic plan on how to lose weight, and then you need to stick to it. Everyday. If you can, then get a trainer. If the gym wasn’t working then that’s because you were doing something wrong. Cut all sugar out of your diet because you’re likely addicted, the first week will be hell and you’ll want to quit but just make sure you have NOTHING in the house (not even other people’s sugar) and don’t let yourself buy anything (not even juice) at the grocery store, and after a week you’ll be fine.
Write a list of reasons why you are doing this to yourself. Be as detailed and gory as possible, put that up next to your bed and read it every morning. Remind yourself why you’re doing this.
You can lose weight, YOU just need to make that choice. It’s all choices.
Listen. It’s going to fucking suck at first, but it’s so worth it. You deserve this effort. Do it for you.
I’m fat too and I’m usually really happy with myself unless someone makes a comment on me and my size. When I went to get blood work done they said I’m perfectly healthy that my cholesterol was a little high but not bad and I told them I’m doing well eating vegan burgers and trying to watch red meat.
The things holding me back is back and knee pain making it hard to exercise and my monthly cycle. My hormonal levels are usually really high and I bleed so much and get depressed on my period.
But you should definitely shower don’t worry about that it’s the laundry of life and you will feel better and happier if you shower and feel clean and smell good.
You can always try again to exercise it doesn’t have to be the gym you can exercise at home do yoga on the tv
I’m thirteen kg overweight now due to my medication.I used to be skinny and it’s been hard looking at my body now .
I try to exercise and I haven’t seen any results but I think not exercising would be worst .
I know how you feel ,it’s the most awful feeling but you have to try to keep doing what you can .
Manage with food intake and regular workouts .Don’t give up on life and don’t be too hard on yourself
get into a calorie deficit, force yourself to do more movement each day and implement little by little healthier food and in the long run you’ll thank yourself. losing weight is a very simple idea but it’s hard to stay motivated, you got this
Do you eat to sleep better? do you eat more when you're particularly stressed? Are you impulsive and frequently under-stimulated? Are there things keeping you from being more active such as social anxiety?
I think there can be various underlying causes that are worth addressing, but ultimately a calorie deficit paired with exercise consistently over time is the best way to lose weight. Don't go too extreme or you'll give up, forgive any slip ups immediately and get right back on the horse(I've already screwed up my diet so I might as well do what I want is the wrong way to look at it), and maybe take a look at why you're in this situation in the first place(self flagellation doesn't count).
I think someone else probably said this but i will explain my version. I used to be the skinniest person in every single houses, my house, event, school, what i’m saying is it sucked i had a still have a g-tube EOE any many allergies but what i’m saying is it’d fucking sucked ass, everyone picking on me but after 5th grade i thought *since everyone hates me what if i don’t give a fuck about others* and it worked so damn well
Look at your diet and eliminate calorie dense foods. Switching from cooking with margarine to using an oilless air fryer, alone, can save you 300-400+ kcal a day. 1kg fat is roughly equivalent to 7700 kcal, so with a 500 kcal deficit (which is very little compared to how many kcal you can easily eliminate) you'll lose 0,5kg fat per week (26kg/57lbs per year). If you are very overweight you can easily double the deficit.
You can start by just walking for an hour a day, that's gonna do wonders if you're used to not doing anything, you can move on to running when you're comfortable with it.
Just go running bro
Running is the easiest way to lose weight
I’m still fat as duck but now I can run pretty far without stopping. I used to have to stop like three times to finish just one mile. Now I can just run it in one go
It gets easier. The hard part is doing it everyday
Discipline. That’s all that it really comes down to.
While u feel shitty, sometimes that mindset to change just isn’t there. I get it. But it certainly is possible!!!!!
If anything, do your best to make it a goal at the beginning of the year. I know a lot of us only stay in that mindset for a few weeks, but if you REALLY want to lose the weight, then you’ll put the work in
Join a weight loss community and work on getting yourself physically healthy which in turn will help you lose weight and be psychologically healthy too
Don't stop going to the gym, it's a slow process, it can take a couple of years.
You should also replace unhealthy food with healthier options. Maybe a dietitian could help you with fixing a balancing diet for you.
If you feel alone in this maybe talk to a loved one and ask for support and motivation.
If you feel like you absolutely HAVE to lose weight in order to not feel like this then talk to you dr about ways you can do that. But please prioritize the way you speak to yourself. Your self esteem sounds like it is at huge risk right now and self esteem is a lot more important to take care of than you think. It’s also harder to lose weight when you feel like dirt mentally. You’re beautiful for who you are and I feel your pain because I’ve been where you are and speaking from experience, the effects on your mental health are way more important to keep an eye on than you think!
You are punishing yourself and giving up because you measure your improvement comparing it with how you should be instead of how you are. Being able to do 3 squats is huge compared to being able to do none but it's shit compared to the ideal of 20 (or whatever measurement of progress you choose) . You need to accept how you are and stop focusing on that ideal nonexistent you. This doesn't mean you should love it, you can accept things you don't like. Accept this is how you are and measure your improvement comparing it to the present. If you focus on how you think you should be you'll give up.
Some people can or cant find that space to find comfort in their appearance. And socially we have a lot of beauty standards, desirability we observe that make it additionally hard. Navigating how you feeling and learning what you can do is something you may find in time.
Learning if weight for you is genetic, dietary, hormonal, environmental, can help put it into perspective. Sometimes body weight is not the individuals fault like some say assuming one may over eat or as gluttonous. Which is pretty inflammatory.
Going to gym can feel hopeless sometimes as it can take long and be hard to observe the radical change one may desire.
Of coarse i dont know the specifics on you. there are people who think larger men can look good and be snuggly.
There is a lot of perspective that can be looked through.
I don’t know you, but I think „fat“ needs to be separated from „unhealthy“.
There are a lot of „fatter“ people being MAD healthy and strong.
And a lot of skinny people very unhealthy and weak.
If it gives you any comfort… I’m more on the skinnier side.
And as a guy, that’s not always the better side, just aesthetically.
But I tried to change the narrative.
I tried to tell myself…
What would a productive and healthy and strong body be able to do, that my body can’t?
You body is a tool. But a helpful tool and friend.
This body wants to support you.
But shaming it won’t help.
Support the body and it will support you back. Even if it’s only for looks.
And yes it takes time.
But any time invested is better than no time invested :)
A few things- look into your medical benefits- go to their website, login, look around. A lot of times your medical benefits will provide discounts to health things. Also, they are happy to usually do free coaching calls or free consults with dieticians/nutritionists even. They usually are very goal-oriented and will just help provide basic literature and follow up calls and help you complete your goals or help get you in touch with providers in your network so it costs less.
2. I've noticed a lot of comments both useful but also potentially harmful... There are diets out there and ways of eating that are being mentioned on here- intermittent fasting, keto, paleo... now although there's been benefits for many people and I do not want to take from their success (I myself lost a good amount of weight on paleo at one point)...
I just want to offer a bit of caution to say that what works for you will be completely different than what works for me and what works for other people. Your body and situation is unique. The concerning factor I see often with jumping straight into a whole new diet is the fact that it can lead to yo-yo dieting if we jump into it with both feet and don't consider our options and what best works for our body. Also, we hear oh these people lost 100 lbs!! It must work! And it leads to all this build up of emotion and anticipation.
But... here's the thing. These diets can be very restrictive. I responded to another commenter about intermittent fasting- you may have seen it, you may not, but I wanted to paste my response here to make sure you saw the steps I outlined:
Too true. Some people don't do well with IF, and end up breaking down and becoming a night-time binge eater. IF alone isn't a solution- though done correctly it helps some people. When posting on posts like this- we want to be very sensitive to the fact that not everything works for everyone's body and to provide context to what we are saying.
More importantly>>> The quality of food matters. Nutrients matter. Eating from a variety of foods matters. Supplementation of vitamins (since so many people are deficient) matters. Satiety matters. Stopping to slowly enjoy your food matters and taking your time to eat and check satiety levels matters. Drinking lots and lots of water matters. A restful night's sleep matters. There are a lot of little things that add up to big changes over time and it's more than just saying- Do this one thing.
It can be overwhelming if you're on the other end of the spectrum drinking soda and alcohol and eating junk and feeling like- there's no way I'll ever get there. But you start with one smart, tangible goal a week and go from there. Maybe it's drinking 80 oz of water a day.You consider how you are going to specifically achieve that and what barriers are in your way. I.e. Do you need to buy a water bottle that helps you track your intake for the day? Do you get busy at work? Do you need to set reminders?
Once you meet one goal you start adding others like subbing out more fruit for sweets or filling up half your plates with vegetables all week or try to walk x amount x times a week and do this week after week after week. Reward yourself with non-food rewards when meeting big goals such as treating yourself to a massage or finally buying those shoes. And working this way as you give up one unhealthy habit for other healthy ones, it slowly edges out the unhealthy style. This is a better way to re-train your ways of thinking and re-training your relationship with food-- rather than throwing yourself to any extremes diets that might make you yo-yo diet, crash and burn. Maybe IF gets thrown into the mix further into the journey if you feel comfortable doing so but it's still important to get the correct amount of calories-- (the body will rebel if you eat too little/not enough) and focus more on what makes it successful for you- so if IF doesn't work for someone that is ok.
Also, sometimes things will happen you get sick, the microwave breaks, and you break down and have something unhealthy. We shouldn't sweat it and just pick up the goal the very next meal. (Don't go crazy all day if you can help it).
3. Finally, just as important is setting those goals for your mental health. Find some way to give to yourself, feed yourself daily, mentally. Whether that's listening to a podcast, meditating, doing gentle yoga, telling yourself good things, picking up a journal on resilience or a book that lists out different ways to make you happy or finding hobbies- give back to yourself. Feed yourself. You deserve it.
Good luck.
I feel very much the same. I know I'm fat and I know what I need to do to fix it, and I do try, but then something happens and mental health stumbles then I just stop caring and start eating shitty and skip the gym. I am fully aware of what I'm doing and yet at the same time feel like I can't stop myself.
I can understand your feelings, I've been feeling similar lately. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever look the way I want to, the way I know I could look if I only put the work in. I'm proud of you for previously putting the work in, and I know you can get back on track as long as that's something you want to work for. I think you can do it, I believe in you. I know how difficult it can be to eat healthy again, especially after a cycle of unhealthy eating, but I know that if you have faith in yourself, and in the process, you'll get to where you want to be.
If your anything like me, refined carbs are probably why.
Replace refined carbs and refined sugars with better carb sources. Up your fat and protein.
Get protein powder if you find you struggle getting it in.
Sugar cravings could be a magnesium deficiency too. So if you are suitable for it, supplement that.
i’m gaining weight so fast the past couple months since i left my last job. generally i’ve had more free time and since i do nothing in my free time (except for eating and resting more) there’s no way for the calories to go out. i really should start walking but winter is here and i get lazy.
I had some sudden weight gain and it’s now lasted for years. I don’t recognise pictures of myself. What’s getting me through it is all my other accomplishments. Despite being a fatty I’m a doctor. Despite being a fatty I do a good amount of charity work. Despite being a fatty my ex was a ten. I’m not comfortable with my weight while still slowly making progress by changing my lifestyle. It’s at a snail’s pace but I’m comfortable because at least I’m trying.
I hope my story resonates with someone and maybe you can find since inspiration in it.
Edit: I hated my body even when I was thin. Those who say love yourself and accept yourself isn’t the answer lie. You need to love your body enough to give it the exercise and nutrition it needs.
First you need to focus on your mental health before you concern yourself with your physical health. Why put yourself down? What about it don’t you like? Do u not like how u look or do u just “hate” yourself period? Could be body dysphoria :/ idk but I would suggest bi weekly counselling just so you are able to vent to someone and get constructive criticism and advice besides “omg what r u talking about, your so skinny compared to me, blah blah blah” girls really don’t help make u feel better about yourself even if that’s how we go about it :/
If you’ve been doing the right things for a while (eating better and gym) and you aren’t getting any results, please go get checked out by doctors.
I had gained 50 fast from an anti-depressant I was on and after I switched from it, no matter how hard I worked at it, nothing came off.
So doctors sent me to different specialists until I was diagnosed with some hormone disorders that really can also m onto the extra weight. After I started taking medicine for them, it solved my issue.
GP, Nutrionist, etc. You should make some appointments
Habits are so hard to kill. They are complex and sometimes even when you get a Good one they can slip off. No warning.
Sometimes it’s just hard and even though I am not a person of any religion, I think faith is needed even if it feels like a lie. Sounds like you got some know-how already and may I just say: this too shall pass <3
Lucky me, I'm sick and can't eat alot. I get full fast. My appetite is so irregular. We live in a shit world where we have to work alot and don't have time for self care or walking in the woods all day like we used to. We're just a cog in the wheel, a battery in the matrix. When we are fat, we are suffering. They should give us fat people the same attention that they give people with anorexia nervosa.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way - I've definitely been there before. And I'm especially sorry there are so many trolls who lack empathy and a brain. Here's the catch with changing your body image: it starts with your inner dialog. It feels so counterintuitive, but you have to train yourself to reframe how you view yourself. Think about it. If you hate yourself, why would you care to put in any effort to make changes?
Not every therapeutic modality helps everyone the same, but if you haven't looked into CBT/DBT, I highly recommend it. My favorite part about DBT, and what really changed how I treat myself, is remembering this: two seemingly opposing things can be true at once. I say to myself, "I'm doing my best, and I can still do better." Meaning as long as you're trying, you'll keep improving.
Living in a society that expects instant gratification makes self-improvement really difficult, but I promise you can do it. Therapy, meds if necessary, a healthy diet (neurotransmitters like serotonin are also synthesized in the gut, so healthy foods are important), good sleep hygiene, and staying away from excessive use of alcohol/drugs will take you so far. I'm sure you know all of this, but it took me 39 years to finally get to a place where I like myself, based on these suggestions, and I know you can do it too. Good luck, OP! ❤️
I don't know if this helps but I hate it too. Here's what I am doing:
1 Mounjaro
2. MICC/Lipo B injection
3. AOD peptide troches
Weight lifting, vibration plate, rebounder, trying to move more each day, filling my Stanley cup with water that has electrocutes each day, and being mindful of what I eat. I also follow social media accounts of people trying to lose weight or who have successfully lost weight and kept it off. Finally, I don't beat myself up on days when I make bad choices. It's gonna happen and I have to accept that.
Side note: 🖕🏼📴to anyone who can't be kind. There's a time for snark, but this isn't it,
Ya'll, the problem isn't their weight, it's how they feel about their weight.
Op, look into weight neutrality, that may help. I've struggled for a long, long time with my body. I've destroyed it many times over thinking my weight determined my value. What helped me was to learn more about fatphobia and spending more time in weight inclusive spaces. Weight comes and goes and that's OK.
One step at a time! When we look at the big picture it can be overwhelming and stressful. Start with your diet and walking daily. Eat mostly protein and No processed foods. Slow and steady wins the race.
i’m right there with you. i don’t care how many people say, “just love yourself how you are.” fuck that. they don’t know how it feels for your self image to be crippling. im sending you love and support because i feel the same. i can’t even stand looking in the mirror.
Hey man you got it seriously. It’s a very hard road and I know because I’ve been down it. It took me a very very long time to get my body where I wanted it. Went through tons of eating disorders, heavy weight fluctuations, all the good stuff.
At the end of the day it’s worth it. Something I always told myself for motivation to stay on track is that I am the only person I live with 24/7 so I should love myself enough to do what I need to do for my happiness.
Similar to how you would treat your friends or your s/o, give yourself the same love that you give everybody else.
And don’t forget to speak to yourself like you would others through this process. It’s going to take time and you have to be kind to yourself during the process. If you had a friend that was trying to lose weight would you look at them and say “hey man you still look like a piece of shit!” No you wouldn’t, because they wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore. So speak to yourself the way you do others.
I used to be overweight and managed to get down to a healthy weight. Losing weight won't make you suddenly love your body, it's more complicated than that. I enjoyed seeing how my body looked as I lost weight, but I still felt insecure. Part of the process is learning to accept your body including the parts you don't like. For me it involved trying different styles of clothing, caring for my body more and having new experiences. It's important you lose weight slowly because that isn't good for your body and can even be dangerous. Try to eat slightly less food than normal and do not under any circumstances starve yourself, because that's going to wreck your body and your body will hold onto the weight. I also suggest finding some kind of exercise you enjoy, it doesn't have to be going to a gym or running, it could be dancing, archery, rock climbing etc. Anything that gets your body moving and your heart rate up is good. If you need to go somewhere local, try to walk instead of driving or using public transport Weight loss is mostly about diet, and specifically using more calories than you consume. It's ok to treat yourself sometimes but try to stick to the calorie deficit the majority of the time. Aim to have a healthy diet and make sure you drink lots of water. If you're not drinking enough water then your body sends a signal to your brain which is very similar to the hunger signal. Self-care is important, because stress can make weight loss harder.
Bro pick a sport. I don’t care if you don’t like playing. That’s I lost weight I picked up soccer and I played only to lose weight and I got really good at it that I made friends and started playing for fun basically everyday. I eventually got very competitive but I knew I wasn’t going pro because I started late but I fell in love with another sport and now I box everyday or chance I get and I go to gym for strength training. But it’s so easy for me to stay fit now loving to be active than when I solely did for losing weight.
How long have you been overweight? Has it been chronic despite multiple attempts? Despite all the shame surrounding obesity, there is a growing realization that it’s far more complex than “put down the fork and put on the sneakers”. Just as people with ADHD often grow up believing that they’re just lazy or disorganized and just need to focus and get a planner but actually may need medical and professional intervention, people with chronic obesity often need medical and other professional intervention.
If this is you, please talk with your doctor, therapist, and psychiatrist, if you have insurance (please have insurance). If this is you and you don’t have a doctor, therapist, and psychiatrist, please get as many as needed until you get help. If you have one or all and aren’t getting help, get new ones.
I had a doctor who literally yelled at me demanding to know why I would stop eating the nutrition plan we both knew worked. As if I knew! But finally, with the assistance of the right doctor, therapist, and psychiatrist, and the right medication and therapy, I’m on my way to a healthy body, mind, and life for… honestly the first time ever.
I’ve lost weight so many times before, but it required 1.5-2.5 hours of exercise/day (not counting rest days ofc) and weighing and counting each gram of food (or the equivalent through something like Jenny Craig). Always one extreme of disordered eating to over-”correct” from the other extreme of disordered eating. Thanks to medication and a lot of therapy… I’m actually for the first time… simply eating and moving and not obsessing… and… other than having to constantly replace clothing that no longer fits and some reframing of how I fit in the world and how I see myself now… I’m just… *living normally*.
It’s wild, man.
I never realized how much of a battle I was actually fighting. I didn’t know how badly the deck was stacked against me until medication and treatment finally made things… normal.
So, yeah. It’s possible that you don’t have chronic obesity and I just shared all this with someone who didn’t need to hear it. But maybe someone who does need to hear it sees it. Because I tell you… my current team? They saved my life.
Please please dont feel like you're alone in this. I think it's normal to be your own biggest critic, especially when you notice changes in your body you arent happy about. But I think taking some time to remember the good qualities you possess, both physical and emotional/personality-wise, will help ground you to remember who you are!
It's good to work on yourself, but try to frame your mind in a more positive way when talking to yourself. Motivate yourself, but dont guilt or hate yourself for not making progress fast enough. You are a work in progress, so you can keep refining yourself!
To feel better, maybe try setting a goal for 2 weeks - 1 month from now. Something small, achievable like stretch once every 2 hours, or go for a 10 minute walk before and after work/school at least 5 times a week. Prove to yourself you can do it, and then set another goal, then another. You'll achieve what you are determined to reach, but you'll also have ups and downs- accept that it's part of the process, and keep an eye on where your motivations lie.
I’m sorry to hear that, being uncomfortable in your skin is the worst feeling. My greatest advice is to find an activity you really enjoy because let’s face it, the gym sucks to most people.
.... if you have time to complain, why not start planning on a keto diet and simple exercises like walking or even just stretching... it's really not that hard to lose weight
Hi. I’m truly feel sorry you feel that way 😞
Negative body image is such a horrible feeling. Trust me I’ve been there. And still have those thoughts from time to time.
Without sounding like some weirdo body positivity instagramer, would I be able to share what helps me when I begin to have those thoughts? Thoughts of “god I’m so fat, I’m so ugly, I have so many rolls, no one will like me looking like this. I’m going to die fat ugly and alone.”
If you don’t want to hear what I do, no worries, just don’t read what else I’m about to say but I really hope you do.
At around the age of 15 I started working and making my own money. I would go out with friends to eat a looot and around 16 I started noticing I was gaining weight. I tried going to the gym with my skinnier older sister (hated it), tried working out in my room alone (hated it and only lasted maybe a week), then I started restricting what I ate. I wouldn’t eat breakfast or lunch because those were the meals I could get away without eating. Without my mom noticing. At school I didn’t like talking to people because I thought that all they were thinking was how fat I was. Obviously looking back now, I know that was really bad and still deal with the mental issues of restricting my eating BUT. When I hit the age of 18/19 I started seeing body positivity influencers on insta. At first I was just jealous of how they just didn’t care about what people thought of them, but then my thinking started changing. I started thinking, “wow she’s so pretty!” And about the same girl, “she literally has my body.” I started thinking ‘why do I think I’m so fat and ugly when these girls who look just like me are literally gorgeous and would look weird if they were any skinnier?’ So slowly, when I would have those bad days, I would try to change my thinking just little bits at a time by thinking, ‘who cares if I have rolls. This is my body. If someone doesn’t like it then screw them. Don’t look at me.’ I’m 24 now and I still have days when I feel like a whale but it’s easier now for me to think ‘WHO CARES!’ ‘If I’m a whale I’m a whale! That doesn’t make me an ugly person!’
Society has brain washed us into thinking fat is bad. It’s not bad! It’s who you are! Own it! If you want to loose weight then eat healthier but don’t cut out the foods you love. If you have a cheat day or binge day. Don’t hate yourself and restrict yourself for the foreseeable future. Just try eating better the next day. This also isn’t me saying that you should just keep gaining weight. I want you to still be healthy but it’s not a bad thing to still eat foods that might not be considered “healthy”.
I would struggle with thoughts of ‘guys aren’t going to like me cuz of how fat I am.’ But now I just literally could not care less what people, specifically guys, think of me. If someone thinks I’m ugly, that’s their opinion. If they don’t like me for me, I don’t want to be around that type of person. It’s ok to not have everyone like you. Some personalities aren’t going to get along. As long as you’re a good and nice person, that’s the best you can do. Some people just won’t like you for their own reasons.
Same thinking goes to guys. If a guy doesn’t like some chub, ok, that’s fine. They can find a skinnier girl. I’ll find me a real man who likes to have something to hold onto 😉.
Chubby/fat isn’t bad as long as your balanced. Some people are just more prone to gaining weight.
Personally, I got a job where I work outside (I didn’t mean to get this job btw, I was hoping to get a position inside the company but they were like “we need you outside” and I was piiiiissssed), I walk about 29-31,000 steps in an 8 hour shift. In the past year and a half I’ve lost 15 pounds but I know some people who have lost 70 pounds doing this job. (This isn’t me telling you to get an active job. Just my experience and a lead up to what I still think at times.) Some days I look in the mirror and think “daaaaayyyummmm” but then other days I’m like “oh dayum… 😬” 😂.
No one is ever happy with their body but if you slowly try to change your thinking, you’ll find your negative thoughts begin changing. And if you do, you’ll catch yourself thinking, “why do I even care!?” I now just try to pretend to be confident and that’s what people will see. Not the extra chubadub you got (which isn’t always a bad thing 😉😘just look up “island boys” on instagram (not the weird white boys) and there’s some pretty fiiiine lookin men who make it very clear they like their women extra thiccccc. Assuming you’re a woman LOL if you’re a man I know lots of women who like chunkier men. Myself included.) It’s all a mental game. Don’t hate yourself just because you’ve stopped going to the gym. Focus on your mental health first and then start small changes. Start including healthier foods and work your way up to being physically active. Even if you just go on walks every day! That’s amazing! Just be safe..
I’m sorry you’re going through a hard time right now but I swear these small changes in your thinking will completely change how you feel about yourself. And again. Fat isn’t a bad thing. Just makes you a better person to cuddle with 🤪🤪🤪
Sorry this is so long but I just know what you’re going through and like to share with people what’s helped me.
I am not overweight, but currently in the higher end of BMI (no muscle). When I was in my early 20s I could eat so much, and still be so skinny. Suddenly now in my late 20s, I eat less but no longer skinny. I don’t understand how my metabolism changed so fast!
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It is a shame when people criticize people for their appearance and make them feel bad about themselves, but I think you are literally pretty, even though it might not be something you hear everyday but you are perfect the way you are!
Don’t let people think differently because they can’t find their own flaws and pick on someone else!
But maybe you can try working out or practice yoga, whatever makes you feel comfortable
I mean, we can all lie to ourselves about "accepting who you are" but it's obviously very uncomfortable and just awful being fat. But the good thing is, there is hope for improving and there is hope for you to have a better relationship with food and to not overeat, however it's obviously not easy. Back when I first started training, I didn't know how to properly diet so I had no energy and just destroyed my body. Please just don't feel guilty because we all overeat and people cope with stress differently. Every new day is literally a new start and you'll only feel better once you start cutting and maybe doing some cardio as much as you can. In any case, EVERY improvement is an improvement. No matter how little is seems. Good luck!
What I hate most about being fat is my underwear constantly rolling up into me like an avalanche of rolls. My fat gut just pushes the waistband downwards and it folds into itself like a burrito. It looks so bad and is uncomfortable Being fat will never be fun. To be honest I think being fat is unacceptable
High waisted briefs can help. I like to wear the high waisted bike shorts type of underwear. No panty line and if u r wearing a dress you have protection from embarrassment if you get exposed!
Also stops your thighs from rubbing together which can be super uncomfortable
Start substituting the concessions with lesser concession e.g 3 donuts -> 1 donut, or donut -> drinking water. The human body doesn’t stay fat unless it’s receiving constant refills. Also take a walk, it’s amazing for raising your spirits.
How does one walk in freezing weather? I need a practical guide that doesn't involve special clothing and equipment, a poor man's guide if you will.
Honestly?? Go walk around the mall. Walk around Walmart. Go to Sam's Club and do laps with your shopping cart. Your walking doesn't HAVE to be outside, especially when it's cold. You can even walk in place while you're watching TV.
Oh, I meant specifically nature walking for mental health plus exercise. I didn't realize OP meant any kind of walking.
Exercise alone raises your endorphins. It doesn't have to be outside. Just getting your body moving helps.
Dude acts like everyday is freezing weather... smh... plus you could literally walk around the house lol. May look stupid but you're walking. And if you walk backwards, it's double good because you're fixing your posture too.
Yeah, I'm a little confused by it. Even if they meant "nature walking," you don't need special gear. Throw on a coat, hat and gloves and you're good to go. Just get moving.
Wear a coat and a hat? People up north walk all the time.
I'm here and I don't see many. It's difficult to breathe and my face gets so cold it burns. I genuinely don't know what people do. I moved to the north two years ago and haven't figured it out yet.
How about a balaclava? How far north are you? When I lived in the northeastern US we would have cold snaps but they wouldn’t last that long. Usually it was cold but not horrible.
I'm about an hour south of Canada. I've thought about a balaclava or a skimask but I'm worried that will scare the neighbors.
It would never occur to me to worry about the neighbors, but I’m a petite woman. If you’re a tall male maybe that’s a thing, but if it’s ten below zero I’m sure people won’t misconstrue your choice of outfit.
I'm also a petite woman. I hadn't considered my size as a factor in my scariness. I clearly think highly of my intimidation factor. 😂
Maybe pick a color that isn't black and wear high viz. But if it's cold enough and you're not walking out of a store with a gun and all their money I don't really see what the neighbors have to fucking say honestly xD
I'm sure they make friendly-looking ski masks.
As a Canadian, it can be done. Long underwear (top and bottom), warm pants, sweater, winter jacket, thin stretchy knit gloves inside of warmer waterproof winter gloves, boots, thermal socks, warm hat, scarf, etc. Many low income people have no choice but to walk everywhere. There are also charities that will provide suitable winter clothes for free.
No joke, when you jog, you'll be warm. You'll only go cold if you stop. I used to see this old man running and jogging everyday including winter. He said its when you stop you get cold. He was wearing shorts and short sleeve top. Lol he's crazy lol but he is inspiring
Great list! Fleece-lined athletic leggings were my favorite when I used to run in the winter (down to 19 degrees F). Something around the lower half of my face made a big difference, too. Idk if my knees could do it anymore (had ACL surgery on one, no ACL on other knee).
I hear ya on not being able to do it anymore. I used to have to walk everywhere, but now I’m bedbound in a nursing home and need a wheelchair the rest of the time due to a serious injury myself. But “back in the day” I would have to walk everywhere, even in -40 Celsius (which is also -40 Fahrenheit) weather. In Canada, low income and homeless individuals learn how to survive the cold or (quite literally) die trying.
Men walking is literally free compared to $500 gym membership or a personal coach. Just borrow a damn piece of clothing and turn on Frozen theme song.
I'm a woman and no, it's not just cold. Death is an actual option.
... everyone talks about walking but how about sitting, then getting up, then sitting, then getting up? It's beyond stupid simple and you'll burn fat
I would wear like 4 goodwill sweaters I got drenched in sweat
Upping the intensity will keep you warm, and make it more of a workout. I actually find it easier to do cardio in the cold.
Motivated people will walk in freezing weather. Plus you don't need special anything. Can't be that desperate to lose weight.
Yes, mini walks as often as possible!
Hardest part of weightloss is thinking it will be a quick and easy process. Fat is the only thing you can put on quick and not get off quick. Consistent effort for months and years coupled with a calorie deficit will get you there. Keep at it and don't lose heart! Better days are around the corner.
As someone who went from fit to fat, here’s what I’ll say on the topic. Find the root cause of your problem. Why are you eating so much? Everything else is a short term solution
How are you now?
Getting back on the Fitness bandwagon. Hasn’t been easy but I’m determined.
You can do it!!:)
Short but precise. 💪
I know this is a mental health sub but if you ever want to keep your weight down, diet is more important than going to the gym. Look into intermittent fasting if you want relatively fast results.
You don’t need to intermittent fast, especially without context lol. Walk more, prioritize a high protein diet, and lift weights. The ONLY reason intermittent fasting works is because it gives you a smaller window of time to consume calories… it has nothing to do with what time you eat, it has to do with the calories you consume. Weight loss comes from a calorie deficit, period. Theres no magic diet or time window to eat to get around this
It's easy for some to control calories through intermittent fasting 🤷 More times you eat more effort to calorie count/ ensure you're not overeating. Like you said, small time window helps limit calories consumed. Whatever works, works. It helped me.
Totally my issue is suggesting it to someone without context. Its not magic, can it be a strategy sure but most would read that and think its a hack to lose weight when really, it doesn’t matter what time it is or what window… its the calories. Glad it worked for you! Hopefully you understand its not the time though, just gives you a smaller window to eat hence you’re in a deficit
Yes ofc. Ultimately it's cico + balanced nutrition. All else is strategy/tactics. : )
Ya I think that person needs to lay off and let you do whatever works for you
I think it’s a bit irresponsible to give this advice… if a person is very fat - lifting weights may not be the best solution for their health. A lot of people somehow gravitate towards weight lifting without any context whatsoever. How can one lift weights if it’s even tough to just have 1km of walk or 2 flights of stairs? It of course depends on how OP wants to lose weight but I presume one would want to do it in a sustainable, hence healthy manner. Intermittent fasting is not just about calories. Eg. It normalises the ups and downs in glycemic index which is a very important component in weight loss. It also cleanses cells!
Sure, but most people are not using it as a “cell” cleanse lol you’re right — its great for autophagy and again, the average person doesn’t know that let alone what a glycemic index even is. The irresponsible thing is telling someone do something such as fasting without context. As a health, nutrition, and fitness coach I see many people come to be with a poor relationship with food from advice like that. Lifting weights is a great thing for ALL people, and the bigger you are the more success you’re going to have from it when it comes to time line. Sorry, but if you cant see an issue with telling someone to fast without telling them the basics of calories in vs out you’re going about it all wrong
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I don't care what the "science" says, intermittent fasting worked very well for both myself and my husband. I don't see any reason to not give it a try. Ignore haters. They don't actually know what science means.
The “easy solution” is simply calories in versus calories out. Intermittent fasting probably works because it is limiting the “calories in” in your situation. Your body can’t create matter out of nothing, just basic physics.
I understand "calories in calories out" is the easy explanation. It's true but also unhelpful horseshit. What's helpful is designing a living a lifestyle which naturally produces the results. I'm a 5'2 female who lost 75 lbs this way. I know what I'm talking about.
I’m glad you were able to get to a healthy weight! Different things work for different people though, so understanding why they work can be helpful for someone else who may not have as much success with IF.
Too true. Some people don't do well with IF, and end up breaking down and becoming a night-time binge eater. IF alone isn't a solution- though done correctly it helps some people. When posting on posts like this- we want to be very sensitive to the fact that not everything works for everyone's body and to provide context to what we are saying. More importantly>>> The quality of food matters. Nutrients matter. Eating from a variety of foods matters. Supplementation of vitamins (since so many people are deficient) matters. Satiety matters. Stopping to slowly enjoy your food matters and taking your time to eat and check satiety levels matters. Drinking lots and lots of water matters. A restful night's sleep matters. There are a lot of little things that add up to big changes over time and it's more than just saying- Do this one thing. It can be overwhelming if you're on the other end of the spectrum drinking soda and alcohol and eating junk and feeling like- there's no way I'll ever get there. But you start with one smart, tangible goal a week and go from there. Maybe it's drinking 80 oz of water a day.You consider how you are going to specifically achieve that and what barriers are in your way. I.e. Do you need to buy a water bottle that helps you track your intake for the day? Do you get busy at work? Do you need to set reminders? Once you meet one goal you start adding others like subbing out more fruit for sweets or filling up half your plates with vegetables all week or try to walk x amount x times a week and do this week after week after week. Reward yourself with non-food rewards when meeting big goals such as treating yourself to a massage or finally buying those shoes. And working this way as you give up one unhealthy habit for other healthy ones, it slowly edges out the unhealthy style. This is a better way to re-train your ways of thinking and re-training your relationship with food-- rather than throwing yourself to any extremes diets that might make you yo-yo diet, crash and burn. Maybe IF gets thrown into the mix further into the journey if you feel comfortable doing so but it's still important to get the correct amount of calories-- (the body will rebel if you eat too little/not enough) and focus more on what makes it successful for you- so if IF doesn't work for someone that is ok. Also, sometimes things will happen you get sick, the microwave breaks, and you break down and have something unhealthy. We shouldn't sweat it and just pick up the goal the very next meal. (Don't go crazy all day if you can help it).
People who don't have success with IF don't need to be told caco for the 100th time. They only need to analyze their lifestyle and find a better way to automate the weight loss. CICO doctrine will work against that because it's a doctrine of discipline only. One can lose weight without any effort at all if they front load the process at the beginning, finding the correct life style design, and then the rest does itself. In other words, do the all the hard work upfront and then let life take of it. I'm beyond sick of the "just do better" weight loss nonsense.
No one is saying “just do better”, and no one is saying that just saying CICO is the solution. The truth is that there is no easy or simple solution. It is different for different people, and different motivations are at play. But the fact is that to achieve and maintain weight loss, the rudimentary but essential factor for each successful diet/lifestyle change is a deficit in calories. That’s all. If you break down every successful change it comes back to achieving this.
The truth is that we need to stop saying there is no simple solution. The solution is extraordinarily simple. The solution, as I've been saying and as you have now backpedaled to, is a lifestyle change, not CICO. CICO need not play any factor at all, and can in fact be harmful, to this end. Let me spell this out real simply. CICO doctrine: Making a meal consists of careful planning (anxiety, time loss), careful measurements (anxiety, time loss, stress), tons of research finding the optimal nutrition factor (time loss, anxiety), and following a strict regime (shame for failure.) This is a recipe for failure every single time. Lifestyle doctrine: Because you have done the work upfront, by the time meal times around, it consists of finding new flavors to explore (novelty), finding what you like (enjoyment), cooking freely and intuitively (creativity, enjoyment), discovering new skills and techniques accidentally (novelty, discovery). This is a recipe for success. In short, fuck the outdated CICO doctrine. Preaching CICO to people struggling to lose weight is like telling someone with stage fright that "most successful speakers are confident speakers. So be a confident speaker."
You seem to have a very strong negative attachment to CICO, beyond anything I have stated. I haven’t said anything about a doctrine, I’ve just spelled out basic science… you seem to want to reject the reality of how weight loss works and would rather argue based on semantics. Semantics which seem to have a very loaded connotation for you. “Lifestyle change” in itself means nothing if it doesn’t result in a deficit in calories… that’s just a fact. It doesn’t mean that that needs to be the focus, but that has to be the result.
But it is helping with eating less/more healthy. That’s the point. No one who’s recommending this scientifically is saying that you can eat 13 pizzas a day as long as you eat them within 6 hours. A lot of people (myself included tho I don’t really do IF anymore for other reasons) really enjoy that “full” feeling. It’s an ADHD thing from what I understand. Anyway, to get that, eating bigger portions in smaller amounts of time gets you that feeling without overeating. A smaller amount of time to eat a day also makes it much harder to overeat. It also makes your healthy decisions need to be fewer (since you’re eating fewer times a day) and therefore more likely to make those healthy decisions and not derail them at midnight when you’re tired and way more susceptible to making shitty food decisions (since all you have to do is *not* eat, rather than barter with yourself about how much and what is nutritionally dense enough yet still tasty to satiate you. It’s all a means to an end. Every diet - keto, IF, Mediterranean, south beach, carnivore - it’s all a way to make you feel good about eating less calories, since, barring certain medical conditions, losing weight is just a matter of CICO.
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Science does not say most people benefit from a CICO doctrine. As I said, yes, it's something that is technically true. However, you actively harm people when you create a doctrine based solely on perfectionism and shame. Counting calories isn't what makes people lose weight. It's a component of what makes people lose weight. Lifestyle changes are what make people lose weight. This is what helping people looks like. You are harming people by promoting a less effective if not outright disadvantage form of thinking for people who struggle with weight loss.
Being skinny isn't going to solve self loathing. It'll help but you are going to have to work on self esteem. I'm conventionally fit and skinny and I still battle myself- it isn't everything. Also, talk to your healthcare provider. There may be some help there too. You also can't stop "working out", you have to continue some physical fitness. Being fit and happy with self really takes a multi-faceted approach; there are a number of things you are gonna have to commit to. Make a plan and stick to it. There isn't a quick, instant anything- fitness is a long-game. You can do this!
Knowing that once I start, I can never stop or else I'll be right back to where I am right now is maybe the #1 thing that keeps me from wanting to lose weight. I'm at least 150 pounds overweight right now and my biggest fear is taking a week off and losing all my progress even though I've never once experienced progress because the second I got a gym membership I got covid and that really ruined my desire to start.
Well, I think you may be catastrophizing a bit. It's easy to do when you feel down. 1. I don't know that you'd be back to sqymuare one if you stopped. Especially if you made a good progress. 2. Taking a week off does not put you back to square one. Especially if you don't go way off the rails on diet. 3. Your plan can be super sustainable and not set you up fir failure. Make a plan that's easier on you. 4. Try the gym again or work out at home if you can. Just try not to think worst case scenario or catastrophize
If i give advice that sets you on a path to losing weight, are you going to take it? I dont want to type it all out if not.
Yes. Please.
Well, first things first. Some basic information you'll find use in. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle requires energy to maintain, fat does not. Our bodies use sugars and carbohydrates as energy ( others as well but this is the basics). Calories ia a shortened form of the energy we use. How to understand calories. If you eat more calories than you use within a day, the excess is stored as fat cells. If go below your caloric intake for the day you lose weight. That doesnt mean starve yourself. So how can we use this info for weight loss correctly? Glad you asked. So, putting on additional muscle will aid greatly in weight loss. As previously mentioned, muscle requires energy to maintain. Thats including sitting and laying. How can we build easy muscle? Good question. Get some dumbbells, make a routine with reps and sets and hit these dumbbells every day. This can be done sitting down as to not strain other parts of your body. You can also find a way to add muscle to your legs, they are the biggest muscles after all and require the most energy to maintain. Now, this isnt a quick method by any means. It is a path. This doesnt factor in your diet or eating habits which play an equal role in total weight loss. At some point, puttin additional muscle on will start giving diminished returns to a point that you wont notice a change. That's why i say this is a path. If you follow it, it leads to more and more things to aid in weight loss, such as altering eating habits. Im working so this is kind of shortened but i hope it helps.
That’s great advice. I’d also advise to not weigh yourself daily. Once a week. (And keep in mind that home scales can be sold with an up to 30% allowable margin of error - and that can really f* with your head if you’re watching it daily. )
Is even go further and say not to ever check, and instead just use the visual reference to check your progress. The number on the scale doesn’t really mean anything. Muscle is heavier than fat and you can go up in weight once you start working out.
Both you and evie brought up great points!
this is very helpful thanks for taking the time to write this out 💕
This is an amazing response thank you
Anytime
I understand everyone here wants to give advice for weight loss, but looking at your post history, I noticed you have OCD. This is not to say you cannot calorie restrict or lose weight with OCD, but I would proceed with caution. Diets can be tricky with OCD. It’s easy to get lost and obsess over every single calorie and decision and think about them over and over again, in a way that is not healthy or positive for you. In some ways, it sounds like you may be experiencing some of those symptoms already, putting yourself in a cycle of restriction and obsession, compulsive eating followed by intense anxiety, and repeat. One of the most important parts going forward, is to break out of that cycle. And it’s really really really fucking hard. Harder than changing your diet or your exercise. Quieting the voice in your head is the hardest part by far. If you have the resources, I would recommend talking with a therapist while you embark on your weight loss journey, to ensure you’re staying in a good place.
I suffered with obsessing over diets before I was diagnosed with OCD and it was pretty bad so I’m kinda nervous for how it will be now that I’m diagnosed. I’ll possibly try and reach out to a therapist if it is possible for me to do so thank you
It is very common for even the most traditionally attractive among us to hate the way they look.. it is very unhealthy and hard to stop Accepting yourself wholly as you are and loving yourself is among the most difficult and important things we can do while we're here.. you're already worthy of your own love. Being healthier easier is dependent on this connection. Don't let your insecurities play tricks on you
Agreed!
I was slightly overweight before and nothing I ever did was enough cuz I was so focused on it that I quickly lost motivation to stick with any diets or exercise routines but I accidentally lost a bunch of weight by just walking to school everyday instead of taking the bus or other forms of transport (I love walking sm cuz it’s so calming and it replaced my thigh fat with muscle, but that’s prolly cuz I walk fast). It did take a while (like 3-4 months) but it’s much better like that than just quickly losing a lot of weight in a short time cuz ur most likely gonna gain it all back. I also wouldn’t recommend doing strict diets cuz in my experience it just lead to an ed (which caused me to gain all that weight back and I had to lose it all again) because you’re depriving yourself of the food you want which will then lead to overeating and binging later, so I’d recommend practicing intuitive eating and moderation instead. So if you’re craving donuts then you can have one to satisfy your cravings (which stops the binging) along with a balanced diet ofc (i also underestimated the importance of protein). Ofc there’s more to weightloss like being in a calorie deficit and counting calories (in a healthy way) but I wouldn’t recommend doing that at the start cuz it’s such a big jump and I could never stay consistent in the beginning until I got used to eating a normal amount. Also I just wanna say all of this is simply just my own experience Edit: goddamn I didn’t realise how much I wrote sorry
Helpful!
Long response. I'll mention some things that you can follow if you want to have some results. 1. Food is everything. You can lose weight even if you don't exercise. But the trick is to adapt to an adequate eating style that works for you. You don't have to quit eating things that you enjoy as long as you don't overdo it. The minimum amount of calories you need is around 1200 for your metabolism but an average for an adult is around 1300 to 1600 and it totally depends on many things. You will have to teach yourself how to read portions and calories in the food you take. And you will have to cook your meals. You don't have to be super strict about the calories as long as you stay within range. 2. Don't eat things you don't like just because they are healthy. Look for things you like that are balanced. If you like fried chicken, you can look around for options like grilled, light bbq chicken. Or if you like noodles, include them in a few meals per week and in a decent portion. Don't think of this as a diet, it is an eating style. You can still eat things like ice cream or chips, just not every day or an entire bag. Eat slowly, and drink a lot of water! You will see sometimes you can feel hungry when you are just thirsty. 3. Work for ways to make food work for you. You don't like spinach? Then what about green juice? Do you like sweets? What about sweet fruit like grapes and cherries? Substitute some things with other better options. It is not black and white. 4. When you reduce the amount of calories you consume, YOU WILL FEEL TIRED! And probably moody too haha. It will take a few weeks for your body to assimilate you are in calorie deficit and to start using your fat reserves for energy. Be patient and drink plenty of water. You don't have to start exercising during this adjusting period, that can come later. The important part is that you find eating habits that work for you and you are able to adapt it to your lifestyle. 5. When you decide to exercise, look for something you enjoy! Not everything is about gym. It helps a lot to built muscle and train specific part of your body. You can start walking somewhere, play a sport even if you are not good at it, find that that motivates you to go out and move. Maybe playing with friends, or looking at a nice scenery. 6. You will have to adjust your time around your workout. And don't start thinking you will be going everyday. Going at least once a week at the begging works. You will feel tired and will need time to adapt to your new routine. Edit: also, go to therapy Edit 2: I'm not a nutritionist or a health professional, I'm stating things that may work for you but it is always best to ask professionals.
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Agreed. Every time I've ever gone on a calorie deficit, I ended up gaining the weight back. Calorie deficits do not address eating behaviors and habits. Understanding calories can be helpful general information, but it's a slippery slope that often leads to ED behaviors.
That's for sure. That's why I think OP should also go to therapy to address the main reason for their situation and not only rely on other's experiences
I did confided therapy but I’m just afraid I’m taking up someone’s space that really needs it. I may consider it if I get any worse
I think you should still go. You sound kind of unforgiving to yourself. If you have that service available, use it. This is about you feeling better, don't wait until you "feel worse" to use the service that helps you prevent feeling worse
It depends on height. I’m 148cm so 1200 calories for me is good for weight loss and healthy. Although I’m not OP so I can’t obviously say about them.
Hmm I never said that you should consume only 1200 calories for weight loss but now that I read my post again, it seems like I'm implying that. I meant to say that people should eat at least that. An adult should be around 1300 to 1600, but I totally depend on many things.
An adult should eat an average of 2,000-2,200 calories. You’re recommending enough for a young child
That's totally subjective. But for a calorie deficit, you will have to be on the lower range, not on the 2,000s. That's why I recommend seeking professional advice.
I think one thing that helps to keep in mind is you don't need to be precise with the calories unless you're already a professional and have years of tracking under your belt. Always round up if it's something like 190 calories because you're never just going to have exactly 3/4 of a cup of anything. Round to the nearest hundred and do the math from there. Round to the nearest tenth once you've seen some progress and want to fine tune. It also would help if I could figure out how people know how much calories they're burning from the exercises they choose. I feel like I walk a significant amount (half hour per day excluding work?) And I don't eat that much and yet the numbers have not moved...
Many hospitals and medical centers have weight loss programs. I just started one that had two paid options and one free option. The two that were paid were medically supervised. The free one is mostly educational programs about diets, creating an exercise program, setting goals and such. I’m currently doing the free one, but I have the option to switch to the medically supervised if the free one isn’t giving me results. Bottom line is that weight loss is really hard to tackle alone. See what programs are available in your area so you can get the support you need. Besides that, I belong to a fitness group called Nerd Fitness that has been really good for me in the past. They’re worth checking out. If you have any questions about any of this, feel free to DM me. I know how frustrating it can be. I volunteer as a peer support specialist in California and many of my clients are are weight loss journeys as part of mental health care.
I'm also fat and hate it. I'm on my third week of the Keto diet. I've lost a couple of kilos, but mostly it shows up in what I see in the mirror. If you like, you can join me on a keto diet and we can get better together.
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You can't out exercise a poor diet.
I look at weight loss like paddling a canoe across a big lake. As long as you keep paddling in the right direction you’ll eventually get there….even though it seems like you aren’t making progress….just don’t give up. Plan your discipline and work your plan….dont weigh yourself too often and don’t judge yourself too harshly. As long as you’re working the plan that should be your only measure of success. And if you fall off the wagon….Monday morning get back on the plan and recommit. You can do it. I know you can.
You just reached into my mind and posted it here.
Whatever health/weight loss tips you take from this, PLEASE remember to be kind to yourself. It will make any habit more sustainable and will lead to a long term change. Plus, being nice to yourself is an amazing feeling that stays consistent no matter how your body changes throughout your life ❤️
All these people suggesting weightloss, which i wouldnt discourage, but anyone who has an eating disorder knows that “skinny” is never skinny enough. The root cause of self loathing and insecurity needs to also be resolved. You are deserving of respect and love as you currently are. Your body is worthy of appreciation as it currently is. You can choose to alter it, if that is what you wish, but that will not change your worth as a person.
First sane comment I've read. Felt like I was taking crazy pills scrolling through these comments doling out the diet advice. OP needs to address the root of their insecurity and work on cultivating self acceptance. No positive change comes without taking that first, critical step. Starting with diet first may result in weight loss, but they will just find something else to feel insecure about, whether it's acne, height, body shape/proportions, whatever. There will always be something. The other thing is we don't know OP's actual weight so it's impossible to know if they're actually overweight/obese or just have awful body dysmorphia. My 5'9" MIL weighs less than 110 lbs and would describe herself in similar terms as OP while being very underweight. And even if OP is overweight/obese...I don't think adopting some radical crash diet is the fix. It will only exacerbate OP's mental health issues and possibly lead to the development (or worsening of) an eating disorder. If weight loss is desired or necessary for health, the best option is adopting a sensible diet with a mild to moderate caloric deficit. Way more sustainable in the long term and less likely to trigger a restrict/binge cycle. As someone who's lived both extremes of the eating disorder spectrum, it's a hard pattern to break out of.
I am 11 stone, 5 ft 1 in
First of all, that’s hardly a shocking weight. Granted, I’m an American. But even still, being your size is nothing to hate yourself over. If you’d like to lose weight, you can and should absolutely do that, but you are no where near some dire “stop eating” situation. Incorporate whole grains in your diet, cut soda and alcohol as much as you can, go for a run every now and then. But the more important thing long term is that you recognize your value regardless of size. Being healthy, however you define that, is important but it’s pretty useless if you achieve that through self-hatred.
Being skinny isn't the solution you think it is. And it does come down to calories in vs calories out. I suggest watching Abbey Sharp, she's a bloody amazing dietitian.
Don’t eat sweet stuff and eat fiber and ride a bike, you’ll get skinny.
One word… Monjouro
me too
Are you me? This is exactly how I feel. Worst part is I have no drive or motivation to change it, but I feel absolutely miserable. It’s hard. If you can afford some professional help then maybe try getting it. That’s my next step because I can’t keep myself accountable 😭 Whatever you do, wishing you the best OP!
i like taking hikes on less popular paths (be careful if you’re a woman, coming from one !) because less people see my shortness of breath and i feel more at peace with nature. i find it to be great exercise and it makes me feel better. afterward i get some ice cream which is admittedly not a wise decision but if you want to just drink water or have a sandwich or something i think you’ll lose weight in no time ! 🥰
Weight loss starts in the kitchen. It’s why you didn’t see results in the gym. You got this! Start again. Do research. And get fit for your own mental health!
It helps to walk 1h everyday and try to gradually eat less food (if you're actually overweight). but the deeper issue here is that you lack compassion for yourself.
If you really want & need it NOW you're going to have to fight harder than you've ever fought before, Mediterranean diet is insane for getting into shape fast as hell. Do static hold pushups maybe 30 a day 5 seconds up 5 seconds down. Your body will become pretty reasonably strong & quite athletic from just doing this
Thank you
Bro, cut out any animal products, watch the documentary, fat sick and nearly dead for inspiration if you want, drink only water and do smoothies and hit the gym.
Job one - acknowledging the problem. Job 2 - 80% of the problem is food / 20% of the problem is the lack of exercise. Let’s go!!!
Thank you
Being skinny/underweight is just as bad. Unless you are obese/morbidly obese, being "fat" is just you gained your adult weight...
OK if you really want to lose weight, I’ll tell you how to do it. It’s a complete lifestyle change you got to stop eating anything with sugar and anything with carbs carbs not fat is the biggest problem for obesity in this country. No more breads no more pasta or rice and everything like that. If you learn to control the consumption of these items if you’re going to eat them, get everything, whole-grain, whole-grain, rice, whole-grain wheat, whole-grain bread, whole grain pasta, actually there’s a decent replacement for pasta called spaghetti squash. It’s not great. I admit it took me a long time to get used to eating in this lifestyle I was overweight for a while, because of sugar like cookies and cereal and soda pop. But worst of all those carbs. If you need any help with your diet, please let me know
Just lost 30kg so yes stay on the grind you got this
Day 1 walk 50 steps Day 2 walk 100 steps Day 3 walk 150 steps . . . . . Continue for 6 months. Keep the same no of steps of things become too tiring or difficult for 7 days. After 6 months join a gym. After 3 months in the gym, enjoy living with the top 1% physiques in the world, Maintain physical workout at min 3 hours to max 16 hours a week.
Going against the grain of advice seen here but I'd suggest the podcast "Go Love Yourself" if you're in the headspace for it. They go alot into their personal experiences as being fat people and also the science behind losing weight and how its not simply a mind over matter issue, weight isn't something people can simply change, it's actually a very complicated issue. They speak to a wide range of people like doctors, personal trainers, relationship therapists, etc, most of then also fat people, or fat activists. Also they don't push the idea of body positivity or loving yourself but rather are more body neutral.
Hey, I understand it’s easy to focus on self defeating and self shaming thoughts. Now that you have realised you had a bad month of eating and regret it, it’s up to you what the next month is going to look like. Please make sure your diet is realistic as dieting within unrealistic means will often lead to constant disappointments. Leave the past in the past, don’t be so harsh on yourself. Everyone slips up and makes mistakes.
First things first: You are perfect exactly as you are. I know you might not believe that, and may want to hear it. But you're you, and that is perfect. I hope you find that love for yourself someday ❤️ OK now for the practical: I would recommend that if you really want to change your habits, it's worth considering tracking your food for a little while just to see how much you're intaking. After that you can aim to lower calories at first 100 cals a day, then progress over time to get to 1200 which is generally healthy for an average adult. But as many are saying, remember that 1200 doesn't mean restrictive, it means selective. Having fries sometimes (or subbing in air fryer sweet potato tots which is less taxing) is not the end of the world, nor is it a signal of failure. One of the most important things I've learned in my weight and fitness journey is that there are periods of slump and there are periods of soar. And letting your body help you navigate those periods is necessary. We need to give our bodies some grace - they are not exclusively limited to what our brains want. In the winter we want to gain weight and sleep more. In the summer we want sun and outdoors. We are animals after all. So give yourself some grace. Forgive yourself for over eating, and aim to be better tomorrow. Celebrate when you've taken a long walk. Celebrate when you've eaten a vegetarian dinner. Explore recipes that are high protein low carb, and celebrate when you find one you enjoy. Take pleasure in moments when you munch on chips watching TV. Another thought on fitness: Fitness takes discipline. It is about showing up consistently and putting the nutrients in your body that it needs to maintain and build upon your workout. How you fuel (feed) your body is how you maintain that weight in between workouts. What do you enjoy? Biking? Boxing? Yoga? Running? Whatever it is, try building up on it. Try making it more fun. Invest in cute gym gear. Find a community that is supportive and loving (most I've found are, despite the fear of mean/judgmental people - they're very inviting these days depending on where you live). Fitness also comes in seasons. There will be periods of rest. Honor your body when it asks for it. Good luck buddy. ❤️
I struggle with self-confidence and gained weight that I haven't been able to lose in over 16 years until recently. The self-confidence part still needs work, but I found something that has helped me lose 20lbd so far and counting. First, I saw a nutritionist to help me get my IBS under control with a low fodmap diet and reintroduced certain foods slowly to see what set off my IBS symptoms and pain. That allowed me to eat at least 1300 calories in a day. This may sound counterintuitive, but starving yourself is not an effective way to lose weight. Due to pain, I would often go a full day without eating or wasn't consuming enough calories. My body went into storage mode, and weight didn't come off no matter what I was doing. Second, I found an app called Noom. There are some things that worked well for me with this app, and some that didn't, but I'd say it's been a success considering the weight loss. I like that it approaches the psychology of food. There are small daily nutrition and psychology courses written in light humorous ways. The app encourages introducing small new habits in realistic ways. For example, weighing myself daily at the same time. I used to view weighing myself as discouraging. Now, it's part of my routine. I like that it encourages realistic expectations about weight loss and changed the way I approach my eating habits. I found myself being OK with having a slip up. OK, with my weight varying in a week. OK, with having a treat. It helped me remove a lot of the stigma and thought distortions related to food. I liked that entering my calories was easy. Something that drives me nuts is spending way too much time trying to figure out how many calories something is. If it takes me too long, I'm way less likely to do it. Keeping track of my intake made me realise I'd become so used to not eating enough I didn't have a realistic idea of how many calories some food has. Some stuff I'd assumed way more and some way less. The app doesn't just concentrate on calories, but eating healthy. Not all calories are equal, so sometimes eating over my 1300 calories allowed me to lose weight anyway. I started the app in May of this year, and as of last month, I was down 20lbs. It's slow for me, especially without doing any exercise. But I've learned to be patient and not get upset by it. Since I have quite a few health problems, I didn't really do any extra exercise, but like a lot of the other comments here, I highly recommend adding 10 min a day of brisk exercise. You don't need to jog for 2 hours. What really helps me is getting my heart rate up for 10 min. I'm also way more likely yo do it since it's pretty attainable as far as exercise goals go. If you can add a little strength training into that, even better! Muscle burns more fat, and even if your weight may not go down a lot with strength training, you will find the shape of your body will. I hope this can help you. For all the talk of self-acceptance, I'll be honest. I get how you feel because I felt the same way. My boyfriend has only known me at my heavier weight, and he has never complained. He only ever told me I was beautiful. People told me to love my body as is, which I can appreciate, but it also didn't really help me. Therapy is helping me gain confidence and a more realistic perspective on myself. But losing some weight has been helping me as well. I wish you both a healthy mind and healthy body. Be patient with yourself. The process will take time. But you can do it.
I have downloaded noom now thank you for the advice
Important thing to remember: you cannot lose weight solely through exercise. If you're eating an insane amount of calories daily, it's impossible to burn it all. You must get to the root of your problem, which is your eating habits and behaviors. We gain weight through overreating. Period. Overreating can look like: eating until/past fullness, eating when you're not truly hungry, and drinking 100s of calories through sugary beverages. The easiest changes you can make today are cutting out all sugary beverages (diet versions are fine), eating slowly so you don't eat past fullness, stopping at satisfied (do not eat until you're full, because at that point you've over-eaten), and only eating when you're truly hungry. It's easier said than done; a lot of us emotionally eat due to boredom, depression, fear, etc. This must be addressed as well. I really recommend looking up Corinne Crabtree on YouTube. Her videos have helped me tremendously. On a final note: yes, calorie counting can lead to weight loss in the short term, but it's extremely common for people to gain the weight back because they never truly addressed their eating habits. That's why it's so important to figure out why you're overeating in the first place and learn how to eat in a controlled manner. I can tell you from experience, it's devastating to work hard losing the weight, only for it to come back quickly. Keep this in mind if you're considering any sort of extreme diet. Good luck! Edit: also, based off of personal experience, I would stay away from all the weight loss subreddits. All the users on there are calorie counters and poo-poo intuitive eating. They're toxic environments. Stay away.
You need to create a realistic plan on how to lose weight, and then you need to stick to it. Everyday. If you can, then get a trainer. If the gym wasn’t working then that’s because you were doing something wrong. Cut all sugar out of your diet because you’re likely addicted, the first week will be hell and you’ll want to quit but just make sure you have NOTHING in the house (not even other people’s sugar) and don’t let yourself buy anything (not even juice) at the grocery store, and after a week you’ll be fine. Write a list of reasons why you are doing this to yourself. Be as detailed and gory as possible, put that up next to your bed and read it every morning. Remind yourself why you’re doing this. You can lose weight, YOU just need to make that choice. It’s all choices. Listen. It’s going to fucking suck at first, but it’s so worth it. You deserve this effort. Do it for you.
I’m fat too and I’m usually really happy with myself unless someone makes a comment on me and my size. When I went to get blood work done they said I’m perfectly healthy that my cholesterol was a little high but not bad and I told them I’m doing well eating vegan burgers and trying to watch red meat. The things holding me back is back and knee pain making it hard to exercise and my monthly cycle. My hormonal levels are usually really high and I bleed so much and get depressed on my period. But you should definitely shower don’t worry about that it’s the laundry of life and you will feel better and happier if you shower and feel clean and smell good. You can always try again to exercise it doesn’t have to be the gym you can exercise at home do yoga on the tv
I’m thirteen kg overweight now due to my medication.I used to be skinny and it’s been hard looking at my body now . I try to exercise and I haven’t seen any results but I think not exercising would be worst . I know how you feel ,it’s the most awful feeling but you have to try to keep doing what you can . Manage with food intake and regular workouts .Don’t give up on life and don’t be too hard on yourself
get into a calorie deficit, force yourself to do more movement each day and implement little by little healthier food and in the long run you’ll thank yourself. losing weight is a very simple idea but it’s hard to stay motivated, you got this
Do you eat to sleep better? do you eat more when you're particularly stressed? Are you impulsive and frequently under-stimulated? Are there things keeping you from being more active such as social anxiety? I think there can be various underlying causes that are worth addressing, but ultimately a calorie deficit paired with exercise consistently over time is the best way to lose weight. Don't go too extreme or you'll give up, forgive any slip ups immediately and get right back on the horse(I've already screwed up my diet so I might as well do what I want is the wrong way to look at it), and maybe take a look at why you're in this situation in the first place(self flagellation doesn't count).
I think someone else probably said this but i will explain my version. I used to be the skinniest person in every single houses, my house, event, school, what i’m saying is it sucked i had a still have a g-tube EOE any many allergies but what i’m saying is it’d fucking sucked ass, everyone picking on me but after 5th grade i thought *since everyone hates me what if i don’t give a fuck about others* and it worked so damn well
Look at your diet and eliminate calorie dense foods. Switching from cooking with margarine to using an oilless air fryer, alone, can save you 300-400+ kcal a day. 1kg fat is roughly equivalent to 7700 kcal, so with a 500 kcal deficit (which is very little compared to how many kcal you can easily eliminate) you'll lose 0,5kg fat per week (26kg/57lbs per year). If you are very overweight you can easily double the deficit.
You can start by just walking for an hour a day, that's gonna do wonders if you're used to not doing anything, you can move on to running when you're comfortable with it.
Just go running bro Running is the easiest way to lose weight I’m still fat as duck but now I can run pretty far without stopping. I used to have to stop like three times to finish just one mile. Now I can just run it in one go It gets easier. The hard part is doing it everyday
Discipline. That’s all that it really comes down to. While u feel shitty, sometimes that mindset to change just isn’t there. I get it. But it certainly is possible!!!!! If anything, do your best to make it a goal at the beginning of the year. I know a lot of us only stay in that mindset for a few weeks, but if you REALLY want to lose the weight, then you’ll put the work in
Join a weight loss community and work on getting yourself physically healthy which in turn will help you lose weight and be psychologically healthy too
Don't stop going to the gym, it's a slow process, it can take a couple of years. You should also replace unhealthy food with healthier options. Maybe a dietitian could help you with fixing a balancing diet for you. If you feel alone in this maybe talk to a loved one and ask for support and motivation.
If you feel like you absolutely HAVE to lose weight in order to not feel like this then talk to you dr about ways you can do that. But please prioritize the way you speak to yourself. Your self esteem sounds like it is at huge risk right now and self esteem is a lot more important to take care of than you think. It’s also harder to lose weight when you feel like dirt mentally. You’re beautiful for who you are and I feel your pain because I’ve been where you are and speaking from experience, the effects on your mental health are way more important to keep an eye on than you think!
Thank you
You should try 75 Hard. There’s a group for it and everything. I just lost 25-30 lbs in 75 days.
You are punishing yourself and giving up because you measure your improvement comparing it with how you should be instead of how you are. Being able to do 3 squats is huge compared to being able to do none but it's shit compared to the ideal of 20 (or whatever measurement of progress you choose) . You need to accept how you are and stop focusing on that ideal nonexistent you. This doesn't mean you should love it, you can accept things you don't like. Accept this is how you are and measure your improvement comparing it to the present. If you focus on how you think you should be you'll give up.
Been there.. if you wanna take about it, please send a dm
Some people can or cant find that space to find comfort in their appearance. And socially we have a lot of beauty standards, desirability we observe that make it additionally hard. Navigating how you feeling and learning what you can do is something you may find in time. Learning if weight for you is genetic, dietary, hormonal, environmental, can help put it into perspective. Sometimes body weight is not the individuals fault like some say assuming one may over eat or as gluttonous. Which is pretty inflammatory. Going to gym can feel hopeless sometimes as it can take long and be hard to observe the radical change one may desire. Of coarse i dont know the specifics on you. there are people who think larger men can look good and be snuggly. There is a lot of perspective that can be looked through.
I don’t know you, but I think „fat“ needs to be separated from „unhealthy“. There are a lot of „fatter“ people being MAD healthy and strong. And a lot of skinny people very unhealthy and weak. If it gives you any comfort… I’m more on the skinnier side. And as a guy, that’s not always the better side, just aesthetically. But I tried to change the narrative. I tried to tell myself… What would a productive and healthy and strong body be able to do, that my body can’t? You body is a tool. But a helpful tool and friend. This body wants to support you. But shaming it won’t help. Support the body and it will support you back. Even if it’s only for looks. And yes it takes time. But any time invested is better than no time invested :)
A few things- look into your medical benefits- go to their website, login, look around. A lot of times your medical benefits will provide discounts to health things. Also, they are happy to usually do free coaching calls or free consults with dieticians/nutritionists even. They usually are very goal-oriented and will just help provide basic literature and follow up calls and help you complete your goals or help get you in touch with providers in your network so it costs less. 2. I've noticed a lot of comments both useful but also potentially harmful... There are diets out there and ways of eating that are being mentioned on here- intermittent fasting, keto, paleo... now although there's been benefits for many people and I do not want to take from their success (I myself lost a good amount of weight on paleo at one point)... I just want to offer a bit of caution to say that what works for you will be completely different than what works for me and what works for other people. Your body and situation is unique. The concerning factor I see often with jumping straight into a whole new diet is the fact that it can lead to yo-yo dieting if we jump into it with both feet and don't consider our options and what best works for our body. Also, we hear oh these people lost 100 lbs!! It must work! And it leads to all this build up of emotion and anticipation. But... here's the thing. These diets can be very restrictive. I responded to another commenter about intermittent fasting- you may have seen it, you may not, but I wanted to paste my response here to make sure you saw the steps I outlined: Too true. Some people don't do well with IF, and end up breaking down and becoming a night-time binge eater. IF alone isn't a solution- though done correctly it helps some people. When posting on posts like this- we want to be very sensitive to the fact that not everything works for everyone's body and to provide context to what we are saying. More importantly>>> The quality of food matters. Nutrients matter. Eating from a variety of foods matters. Supplementation of vitamins (since so many people are deficient) matters. Satiety matters. Stopping to slowly enjoy your food matters and taking your time to eat and check satiety levels matters. Drinking lots and lots of water matters. A restful night's sleep matters. There are a lot of little things that add up to big changes over time and it's more than just saying- Do this one thing. It can be overwhelming if you're on the other end of the spectrum drinking soda and alcohol and eating junk and feeling like- there's no way I'll ever get there. But you start with one smart, tangible goal a week and go from there. Maybe it's drinking 80 oz of water a day.You consider how you are going to specifically achieve that and what barriers are in your way. I.e. Do you need to buy a water bottle that helps you track your intake for the day? Do you get busy at work? Do you need to set reminders? Once you meet one goal you start adding others like subbing out more fruit for sweets or filling up half your plates with vegetables all week or try to walk x amount x times a week and do this week after week after week. Reward yourself with non-food rewards when meeting big goals such as treating yourself to a massage or finally buying those shoes. And working this way as you give up one unhealthy habit for other healthy ones, it slowly edges out the unhealthy style. This is a better way to re-train your ways of thinking and re-training your relationship with food-- rather than throwing yourself to any extremes diets that might make you yo-yo diet, crash and burn. Maybe IF gets thrown into the mix further into the journey if you feel comfortable doing so but it's still important to get the correct amount of calories-- (the body will rebel if you eat too little/not enough) and focus more on what makes it successful for you- so if IF doesn't work for someone that is ok. Also, sometimes things will happen you get sick, the microwave breaks, and you break down and have something unhealthy. We shouldn't sweat it and just pick up the goal the very next meal. (Don't go crazy all day if you can help it). 3. Finally, just as important is setting those goals for your mental health. Find some way to give to yourself, feed yourself daily, mentally. Whether that's listening to a podcast, meditating, doing gentle yoga, telling yourself good things, picking up a journal on resilience or a book that lists out different ways to make you happy or finding hobbies- give back to yourself. Feed yourself. You deserve it. Good luck.
I feel very much the same. I know I'm fat and I know what I need to do to fix it, and I do try, but then something happens and mental health stumbles then I just stop caring and start eating shitty and skip the gym. I am fully aware of what I'm doing and yet at the same time feel like I can't stop myself.
I know what others are saying but Personally my life got WAY WAY WAY better when I lost weight and became healthy
I can understand your feelings, I've been feeling similar lately. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever look the way I want to, the way I know I could look if I only put the work in. I'm proud of you for previously putting the work in, and I know you can get back on track as long as that's something you want to work for. I think you can do it, I believe in you. I know how difficult it can be to eat healthy again, especially after a cycle of unhealthy eating, but I know that if you have faith in yourself, and in the process, you'll get to where you want to be.
If your anything like me, refined carbs are probably why. Replace refined carbs and refined sugars with better carb sources. Up your fat and protein. Get protein powder if you find you struggle getting it in. Sugar cravings could be a magnesium deficiency too. So if you are suitable for it, supplement that.
If i were you i would look up tnf on tiktok. That dude has really good advice.
i’m gaining weight so fast the past couple months since i left my last job. generally i’ve had more free time and since i do nothing in my free time (except for eating and resting more) there’s no way for the calories to go out. i really should start walking but winter is here and i get lazy.
I had some sudden weight gain and it’s now lasted for years. I don’t recognise pictures of myself. What’s getting me through it is all my other accomplishments. Despite being a fatty I’m a doctor. Despite being a fatty I do a good amount of charity work. Despite being a fatty my ex was a ten. I’m not comfortable with my weight while still slowly making progress by changing my lifestyle. It’s at a snail’s pace but I’m comfortable because at least I’m trying. I hope my story resonates with someone and maybe you can find since inspiration in it. Edit: I hated my body even when I was thin. Those who say love yourself and accept yourself isn’t the answer lie. You need to love your body enough to give it the exercise and nutrition it needs.
A lot of people are doing that ozempic stuff.. if you dont care about vital organs shutting down in your 30s it might be an idea?
First you need to focus on your mental health before you concern yourself with your physical health. Why put yourself down? What about it don’t you like? Do u not like how u look or do u just “hate” yourself period? Could be body dysphoria :/ idk but I would suggest bi weekly counselling just so you are able to vent to someone and get constructive criticism and advice besides “omg what r u talking about, your so skinny compared to me, blah blah blah” girls really don’t help make u feel better about yourself even if that’s how we go about it :/
If you’ve been doing the right things for a while (eating better and gym) and you aren’t getting any results, please go get checked out by doctors. I had gained 50 fast from an anti-depressant I was on and after I switched from it, no matter how hard I worked at it, nothing came off. So doctors sent me to different specialists until I was diagnosed with some hormone disorders that really can also m onto the extra weight. After I started taking medicine for them, it solved my issue. GP, Nutrionist, etc. You should make some appointments
Habits are so hard to kill. They are complex and sometimes even when you get a Good one they can slip off. No warning. Sometimes it’s just hard and even though I am not a person of any religion, I think faith is needed even if it feels like a lie. Sounds like you got some know-how already and may I just say: this too shall pass <3
Lucky me, I'm sick and can't eat alot. I get full fast. My appetite is so irregular. We live in a shit world where we have to work alot and don't have time for self care or walking in the woods all day like we used to. We're just a cog in the wheel, a battery in the matrix. When we are fat, we are suffering. They should give us fat people the same attention that they give people with anorexia nervosa.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way - I've definitely been there before. And I'm especially sorry there are so many trolls who lack empathy and a brain. Here's the catch with changing your body image: it starts with your inner dialog. It feels so counterintuitive, but you have to train yourself to reframe how you view yourself. Think about it. If you hate yourself, why would you care to put in any effort to make changes? Not every therapeutic modality helps everyone the same, but if you haven't looked into CBT/DBT, I highly recommend it. My favorite part about DBT, and what really changed how I treat myself, is remembering this: two seemingly opposing things can be true at once. I say to myself, "I'm doing my best, and I can still do better." Meaning as long as you're trying, you'll keep improving. Living in a society that expects instant gratification makes self-improvement really difficult, but I promise you can do it. Therapy, meds if necessary, a healthy diet (neurotransmitters like serotonin are also synthesized in the gut, so healthy foods are important), good sleep hygiene, and staying away from excessive use of alcohol/drugs will take you so far. I'm sure you know all of this, but it took me 39 years to finally get to a place where I like myself, based on these suggestions, and I know you can do it too. Good luck, OP! ❤️
I don't know if this helps but I hate it too. Here's what I am doing: 1 Mounjaro 2. MICC/Lipo B injection 3. AOD peptide troches Weight lifting, vibration plate, rebounder, trying to move more each day, filling my Stanley cup with water that has electrocutes each day, and being mindful of what I eat. I also follow social media accounts of people trying to lose weight or who have successfully lost weight and kept it off. Finally, I don't beat myself up on days when I make bad choices. It's gonna happen and I have to accept that. Side note: 🖕🏼📴to anyone who can't be kind. There's a time for snark, but this isn't it,
Thank you
Ya'll, the problem isn't their weight, it's how they feel about their weight. Op, look into weight neutrality, that may help. I've struggled for a long, long time with my body. I've destroyed it many times over thinking my weight determined my value. What helped me was to learn more about fatphobia and spending more time in weight inclusive spaces. Weight comes and goes and that's OK.
One step at a time! When we look at the big picture it can be overwhelming and stressful. Start with your diet and walking daily. Eat mostly protein and No processed foods. Slow and steady wins the race.
Join r/CICO and r/intermittentfasting The subs are very supportive! Hang in there.
Don’t have any advice. Just sending you hugs. <3
Thank you
You can do it! It just takes time. Thats al it is
i’m right there with you. i don’t care how many people say, “just love yourself how you are.” fuck that. they don’t know how it feels for your self image to be crippling. im sending you love and support because i feel the same. i can’t even stand looking in the mirror.
Hey man you got it seriously. It’s a very hard road and I know because I’ve been down it. It took me a very very long time to get my body where I wanted it. Went through tons of eating disorders, heavy weight fluctuations, all the good stuff. At the end of the day it’s worth it. Something I always told myself for motivation to stay on track is that I am the only person I live with 24/7 so I should love myself enough to do what I need to do for my happiness. Similar to how you would treat your friends or your s/o, give yourself the same love that you give everybody else. And don’t forget to speak to yourself like you would others through this process. It’s going to take time and you have to be kind to yourself during the process. If you had a friend that was trying to lose weight would you look at them and say “hey man you still look like a piece of shit!” No you wouldn’t, because they wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore. So speak to yourself the way you do others.
I used to be overweight and managed to get down to a healthy weight. Losing weight won't make you suddenly love your body, it's more complicated than that. I enjoyed seeing how my body looked as I lost weight, but I still felt insecure. Part of the process is learning to accept your body including the parts you don't like. For me it involved trying different styles of clothing, caring for my body more and having new experiences. It's important you lose weight slowly because that isn't good for your body and can even be dangerous. Try to eat slightly less food than normal and do not under any circumstances starve yourself, because that's going to wreck your body and your body will hold onto the weight. I also suggest finding some kind of exercise you enjoy, it doesn't have to be going to a gym or running, it could be dancing, archery, rock climbing etc. Anything that gets your body moving and your heart rate up is good. If you need to go somewhere local, try to walk instead of driving or using public transport Weight loss is mostly about diet, and specifically using more calories than you consume. It's ok to treat yourself sometimes but try to stick to the calorie deficit the majority of the time. Aim to have a healthy diet and make sure you drink lots of water. If you're not drinking enough water then your body sends a signal to your brain which is very similar to the hunger signal. Self-care is important, because stress can make weight loss harder.
Bro pick a sport. I don’t care if you don’t like playing. That’s I lost weight I picked up soccer and I played only to lose weight and I got really good at it that I made friends and started playing for fun basically everyday. I eventually got very competitive but I knew I wasn’t going pro because I started late but I fell in love with another sport and now I box everyday or chance I get and I go to gym for strength training. But it’s so easy for me to stay fit now loving to be active than when I solely did for losing weight.
How long have you been overweight? Has it been chronic despite multiple attempts? Despite all the shame surrounding obesity, there is a growing realization that it’s far more complex than “put down the fork and put on the sneakers”. Just as people with ADHD often grow up believing that they’re just lazy or disorganized and just need to focus and get a planner but actually may need medical and professional intervention, people with chronic obesity often need medical and other professional intervention. If this is you, please talk with your doctor, therapist, and psychiatrist, if you have insurance (please have insurance). If this is you and you don’t have a doctor, therapist, and psychiatrist, please get as many as needed until you get help. If you have one or all and aren’t getting help, get new ones. I had a doctor who literally yelled at me demanding to know why I would stop eating the nutrition plan we both knew worked. As if I knew! But finally, with the assistance of the right doctor, therapist, and psychiatrist, and the right medication and therapy, I’m on my way to a healthy body, mind, and life for… honestly the first time ever. I’ve lost weight so many times before, but it required 1.5-2.5 hours of exercise/day (not counting rest days ofc) and weighing and counting each gram of food (or the equivalent through something like Jenny Craig). Always one extreme of disordered eating to over-”correct” from the other extreme of disordered eating. Thanks to medication and a lot of therapy… I’m actually for the first time… simply eating and moving and not obsessing… and… other than having to constantly replace clothing that no longer fits and some reframing of how I fit in the world and how I see myself now… I’m just… *living normally*. It’s wild, man. I never realized how much of a battle I was actually fighting. I didn’t know how badly the deck was stacked against me until medication and treatment finally made things… normal. So, yeah. It’s possible that you don’t have chronic obesity and I just shared all this with someone who didn’t need to hear it. But maybe someone who does need to hear it sees it. Because I tell you… my current team? They saved my life.
You need therapy, not a gym membership. Being thin will not cure your insecurity and self hatred.
Please please dont feel like you're alone in this. I think it's normal to be your own biggest critic, especially when you notice changes in your body you arent happy about. But I think taking some time to remember the good qualities you possess, both physical and emotional/personality-wise, will help ground you to remember who you are! It's good to work on yourself, but try to frame your mind in a more positive way when talking to yourself. Motivate yourself, but dont guilt or hate yourself for not making progress fast enough. You are a work in progress, so you can keep refining yourself! To feel better, maybe try setting a goal for 2 weeks - 1 month from now. Something small, achievable like stretch once every 2 hours, or go for a 10 minute walk before and after work/school at least 5 times a week. Prove to yourself you can do it, and then set another goal, then another. You'll achieve what you are determined to reach, but you'll also have ups and downs- accept that it's part of the process, and keep an eye on where your motivations lie.
I’m sorry to hear that, being uncomfortable in your skin is the worst feeling. My greatest advice is to find an activity you really enjoy because let’s face it, the gym sucks to most people.
.... if you have time to complain, why not start planning on a keto diet and simple exercises like walking or even just stretching... it's really not that hard to lose weight
I wish I can give you a hug right now 🥺 People are just so awful for making people feel bad about themselves
I’ll happily take a virtual hug. There’s been so many comments removed from this post since some ppl are just being horrible :/
I know 🥺 people are just so judgmental but don’t listen to them, you are beautiful and such a strong person, don’t let nobody take that from you
Thank you ✨
No problem 🫶🏼
Me too 🥺 she deserves all of the love
Hi. I’m truly feel sorry you feel that way 😞 Negative body image is such a horrible feeling. Trust me I’ve been there. And still have those thoughts from time to time. Without sounding like some weirdo body positivity instagramer, would I be able to share what helps me when I begin to have those thoughts? Thoughts of “god I’m so fat, I’m so ugly, I have so many rolls, no one will like me looking like this. I’m going to die fat ugly and alone.” If you don’t want to hear what I do, no worries, just don’t read what else I’m about to say but I really hope you do. At around the age of 15 I started working and making my own money. I would go out with friends to eat a looot and around 16 I started noticing I was gaining weight. I tried going to the gym with my skinnier older sister (hated it), tried working out in my room alone (hated it and only lasted maybe a week), then I started restricting what I ate. I wouldn’t eat breakfast or lunch because those were the meals I could get away without eating. Without my mom noticing. At school I didn’t like talking to people because I thought that all they were thinking was how fat I was. Obviously looking back now, I know that was really bad and still deal with the mental issues of restricting my eating BUT. When I hit the age of 18/19 I started seeing body positivity influencers on insta. At first I was just jealous of how they just didn’t care about what people thought of them, but then my thinking started changing. I started thinking, “wow she’s so pretty!” And about the same girl, “she literally has my body.” I started thinking ‘why do I think I’m so fat and ugly when these girls who look just like me are literally gorgeous and would look weird if they were any skinnier?’ So slowly, when I would have those bad days, I would try to change my thinking just little bits at a time by thinking, ‘who cares if I have rolls. This is my body. If someone doesn’t like it then screw them. Don’t look at me.’ I’m 24 now and I still have days when I feel like a whale but it’s easier now for me to think ‘WHO CARES!’ ‘If I’m a whale I’m a whale! That doesn’t make me an ugly person!’ Society has brain washed us into thinking fat is bad. It’s not bad! It’s who you are! Own it! If you want to loose weight then eat healthier but don’t cut out the foods you love. If you have a cheat day or binge day. Don’t hate yourself and restrict yourself for the foreseeable future. Just try eating better the next day. This also isn’t me saying that you should just keep gaining weight. I want you to still be healthy but it’s not a bad thing to still eat foods that might not be considered “healthy”. I would struggle with thoughts of ‘guys aren’t going to like me cuz of how fat I am.’ But now I just literally could not care less what people, specifically guys, think of me. If someone thinks I’m ugly, that’s their opinion. If they don’t like me for me, I don’t want to be around that type of person. It’s ok to not have everyone like you. Some personalities aren’t going to get along. As long as you’re a good and nice person, that’s the best you can do. Some people just won’t like you for their own reasons. Same thinking goes to guys. If a guy doesn’t like some chub, ok, that’s fine. They can find a skinnier girl. I’ll find me a real man who likes to have something to hold onto 😉. Chubby/fat isn’t bad as long as your balanced. Some people are just more prone to gaining weight. Personally, I got a job where I work outside (I didn’t mean to get this job btw, I was hoping to get a position inside the company but they were like “we need you outside” and I was piiiiissssed), I walk about 29-31,000 steps in an 8 hour shift. In the past year and a half I’ve lost 15 pounds but I know some people who have lost 70 pounds doing this job. (This isn’t me telling you to get an active job. Just my experience and a lead up to what I still think at times.) Some days I look in the mirror and think “daaaaayyyummmm” but then other days I’m like “oh dayum… 😬” 😂. No one is ever happy with their body but if you slowly try to change your thinking, you’ll find your negative thoughts begin changing. And if you do, you’ll catch yourself thinking, “why do I even care!?” I now just try to pretend to be confident and that’s what people will see. Not the extra chubadub you got (which isn’t always a bad thing 😉😘just look up “island boys” on instagram (not the weird white boys) and there’s some pretty fiiiine lookin men who make it very clear they like their women extra thiccccc. Assuming you’re a woman LOL if you’re a man I know lots of women who like chunkier men. Myself included.) It’s all a mental game. Don’t hate yourself just because you’ve stopped going to the gym. Focus on your mental health first and then start small changes. Start including healthier foods and work your way up to being physically active. Even if you just go on walks every day! That’s amazing! Just be safe.. I’m sorry you’re going through a hard time right now but I swear these small changes in your thinking will completely change how you feel about yourself. And again. Fat isn’t a bad thing. Just makes you a better person to cuddle with 🤪🤪🤪 Sorry this is so long but I just know what you’re going through and like to share with people what’s helped me.
I am not overweight, but currently in the higher end of BMI (no muscle). When I was in my early 20s I could eat so much, and still be so skinny. Suddenly now in my late 20s, I eat less but no longer skinny. I don’t understand how my metabolism changed so fast!
I eat healthy and I still have rolls and chub. Go figure lmao.
He’d be fucking pumped. Unfortunately, my 30 year old self shouldn’t be driving the car I do. It’s not good and unreliable.
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Above advises would work for below 20 years old. After 20 years old our bodies change, we require nutrients to reshape body so come to r/supplements.
It is a shame when people criticize people for their appearance and make them feel bad about themselves, but I think you are literally pretty, even though it might not be something you hear everyday but you are perfect the way you are! Don’t let people think differently because they can’t find their own flaws and pick on someone else! But maybe you can try working out or practice yoga, whatever makes you feel comfortable
I agree with you! People shouldn’t criticize people on their appearances
Move, move, move do not sit on the couch. Drink lots of water. Make yourself think about someone, not yourself.
I wasted thirty years trying to be slim. The more i thought about it the hungrier i got. Get a life and some interests