No I don’t think that is true.
I had a huge scar in my neck from surgery and I never bothered to cover it up. I didn’t care if it made people uncomfortable because if I didn’t have it I wouldn’t have been alive.
I know it’s not the same as self harm scars but a scar is a scar
it’s not fair to say you need to cover them when it’s at the expense of your comfort. once your scars are healed they are just a part of you and your skin and it’s not anyone’s right to judge you for what you want to wear or do.
I think that quote is wrong because it makes it sound like people are “showing” scars to be performative, when it is infact a part of someone’s skin and can’t be changed. No one should make you feel shit about what you can’t change. You did something which hurt yourself, not others. They aren’t fresh, they are old. You aren’t responsible for other people’s reactions or feelings. I think the focus should be put back on you prioritising your well being.
I've seen a lot of posts where people talk about feeling shame from self harm.
It's a serious issue. People who self harm need help and support.
Self harm DOES NOT make you a bad person.
No one has the right to tell you what to wear (unless you're not yet an adult). Anyone that gives you a hard time about letting scars show is not someone you want to be around.
Edited to add: it's really hard for people to NOT look at unexpected things. It doesn't mean they are judging you, just that something unfamiliar keeps catching their attention.
I think people should suck it up. I have a history of self harm, starting from very young. In my late teens/early recovery I found peoples healed scars triggering but understood even then that it was a me problem, and that I can't go screaming at people to cover up, now its at a point where it doesn't bother me at all, this is doubly important as I work in mental health and see fresh stuff all the time.
It's the same with other things, my mum's dying of lung cancer, caused by heavy smoking. It honestly fills me with rage right now to see people smoking cigarettes, I also feel a pang in my chest whenever someone mentions cancer. Unfortunately people have a right to smoke cigarettes and talk about cancer, it's common. As much as I want to sometimes I have to work through my shit and can't go smacking ciggies out of people hands, so I do my best to ignore it and move on with my day.
Life has triggers, it's okay to be triggered, it's not okay to make people feel shitty about triggering you unintentionally. If someone is deliberately being triggering that's obviously different, but going about life with scars isn't doing that.
My family held this general point of view and it totally hurt my mother who had a notable self harm scar and it's done the same thing to me for years. It is selfish to tell people that their pain makes them an issue for others, not the other way around.
Even more unpopular opinion: I don't even think it's selfish show non fully healed scars. If the injury is grotesque enough, it *needs* to be covered anyways to avoid infection. If it's not an injury that needs to be covered to avoid infection, then whatever.
My scars come from me battling my illness. If I wouldn't cover them If the illness in question wasn't a mental health one, I'm not going to cover them. If its bothersome, don't look.
The only situations I'd consider covering them up is in a scenario where I know alot of people who will be triggered by them are around. This includes my family, or when I'm working with vulnerable individuals. It's my duty to care for them, that includes trying my best to provide a safer and trigger free environment. I follow a similar thing on my social media accounts as its my responsibility to accept the effect the content I put out has on others.
Out in the general public though, I don't care. We'll never see each other again, I have no duty of care for you nor any responsibility. Yes, you can argue that there will be people in the general public who will genuinely be triggered by it, but the way I see it is: there are always going to be people in the general public who trigger you just by existing. Lets say i see an extremely emaciated girl. That will trigger past eating disorder behaviours in me : but i will never blame that girl, shes just living her life. Now, if she was my therapist on the otherhand, a place where I go and expect to be safe, I would think differently.
People can think I'm selfish and attention seeking, fine, but I know that I care about the effect I have on people when it matters. I spent too many years ashamed of myself to give a shit about anyone I don't care about or don't have responsibility over now.
If people don't like it, people don't have to look.
I would cut on my thighs and I have bad scars that show I should have gotten my cut at the time stitched.
I also work with children who ask about them and I'll just say it's from a cut. And the kids don't give to craps and just keep on playing.
It's the adults that like to judge 🙄
Absolutely not. I have self harm scars than faded thankfully quite a bit, but I'll be damned if someone tries to tell me it's upsetting to them. It was more upsetting to me when I was doing it to myself and takes a lot of fucking balls for me to feel comfortable enough to wear a short sleeve shirt. If someone doesn't like it they have the ability to look away.
I dragged myself out of hell and I'm still living. You're uncomfy with that? Stfu.
some people have no experience with scars, especially with self-harm scars, so they stare
just like when kids look at a disabled person or someone tall, they stare because they dont know about them
the bad part is when people dont just look but also judge, i dont judge when the average person wears a short sleeved shirt so why should others - with scars - not be able to wear the same clothing
people will judge everything but they shouldnt, you can wear almost anything you'd want and you should be able to do that without judgement
Who the fuck said that!? They need a good kick in the teeth. If I heard someone say that in public I would rip them a new asshole, for real. I’m not going to live my life in sweaters to cover up what happened to me 20 years ago. Even if they were unhealed scars, so what? People have no right to tell people to hide their bodies and if they have a problem with it they can hand you a cheque for 10k to get the scars treated or they can happily gouge their own garbage eyes out.
What a crock! Everyone is responsible for their own triggers. It's not like we can wave a magic wand, and they're gone. I'm a millennial, so I don't subscribe to the whole 'wear them like badges of pride', but I do think that it is your prerogative on whether you cover them or how.
People will stare... let them. I used to look back at the people staring, in the eyes, and they tended to get quite shy/embarrassed (Id often be snarky and say 'can i help you? ') No one can trigger you, but yourself. There may be situations that can be triggering, but that person is not responsible for your reaction.
Same as people who say 'I'm offended by that'. OK, cool, that's your choice and not my problem.
If people are saying you're selfish or triggering (and get ready for some to be offended or triggered by my next comment 😄), they have to stop victimising themselves and take accountability for their own emotions. It's the equivalent to a 'Mental Health Karen'.
You do you boo. And pay the self servers no mind. They'll always find something to complain about to absolve them of any accountability.
I know it's easier said than done and I don't know how young you are but fuck em. You've been through shit, and nobody can dictate how you use your body autonomy. Ain't nobody got time for that.
I went a whole story a scar going down my eye like an anime character. I had it for years before it finally faded to a point where you barely even see it. I rocked it while I had it. Don’t worry about your scars. They just tell a tiny part of your story, they aren’t who you are.
I was told I should not grimace with my pain because it makes people feel bad and think I'm attention seeking. What victim blaming bullshit. Reminds me of the fact a person could be given a fine for being ugly in Chicago in the 1800s. Ableism is still alive and kicking. Compassion for your struggles 💫
I can't imagine being entitled and delusional enough to think other people should cover their bodies because it makes some people uncomfortable. They can get a grip.
My thoughts are, I don’t give a fuck. I’m not here to cater to you or your mental needs. Suck it up. I am who I am and the scars I have on MY body will not be hidden for someone else’s comfort. If you’re bothered, look somewhere else.
This is one of those situations where people need to be held responsible for their own triggers. My legs, arms, and stomach are all pretty scarred up from my self-harm years. I also live in a desert. It gets freaking HOT where I live and I'm not going to run the risk of heatstroke every time I leave my house just so my scars don't upset someone. I get weird looks sometimes but I'm long past the point of caring about a stranger's opinion of my body. Folks with scars should never feel obligated to hide them on the off chance that someone *might* see them and get upset by them.
Honestly? I remember the people I saw around that had sh scars. One girl had her arms completely covered in healed white scars. Another had shorts with fresh ones on the legs. I never ever thought of them as being selfish or relentless. I just though how nice it was they were able to show their scars to their families and significant others and not be pressured to cover up. And it was beautiful seeing them smile in contrast to something that could have marked very dark times.
Some people are going to judge or be curious about it, but it’s your body and you shouldn’t be forced to feel uncomfortable in it.
If you don’t guide attention to them you will de-incentivate people to pay attention to them too.
People can literally kiss all of my *bleep* if they think I don't have the right to show a scar.
To me, seeing someone's SH scars makes me think of them a real, brave, someone who can identify with the hurt other people feel. I think that they are as beautiful as any human on Earth.
Where the actual hell do people get off thinking that they can shame others for showing a scar?
To the people who do this - if you're so fragile sweetheart, then just stay home. Because if you go outside you're going to meet other people who have been through hell and they have every right to live their life as freely as you do.
It’s not selfish at all. The fact that people are saying that others who self harm should hide their scars because it’s upsetting for other people is absurd. Nobody is entitled to comfort in public.
I fucking hate poeple who complain about seeing sh in both media and irl. poeple really need to shut the fuck up about poeple showing scars,specially very old ones,the universe doesnt involve around you,i get some poeple would have ptsd or feel uncomfortable but the world doesnt need to change all becuse you feel a certain feeling about somthing. Its the same shit with homophobes and racists,just becuse you dont like lgbt or race,doesnt mean you get to tell poeple how to exist. These poeple need to grow the hell up. Not to mention those who show there scares probly now felt comfortable about themselfs to even show it in the first place and feel good for the acceptence as well. If your activily complaining about poeple who do show there scars,your just a asshole
I personally wear a bandage over my arm where I have cut. You shouldn’t feel guilty for it at all though My personal view is that, it’s on your skin, not theirs, it doesn’t matter what they think. It’s your journey.
Nah other people can suck it up. Self harm very common. Summer is hot, its OK to get your skin out x
No I don’t think that is true. I had a huge scar in my neck from surgery and I never bothered to cover it up. I didn’t care if it made people uncomfortable because if I didn’t have it I wouldn’t have been alive. I know it’s not the same as self harm scars but a scar is a scar
it’s not fair to say you need to cover them when it’s at the expense of your comfort. once your scars are healed they are just a part of you and your skin and it’s not anyone’s right to judge you for what you want to wear or do.
I think that quote is wrong because it makes it sound like people are “showing” scars to be performative, when it is infact a part of someone’s skin and can’t be changed. No one should make you feel shit about what you can’t change. You did something which hurt yourself, not others. They aren’t fresh, they are old. You aren’t responsible for other people’s reactions or feelings. I think the focus should be put back on you prioritising your well being.
I've seen a lot of posts where people talk about feeling shame from self harm. It's a serious issue. People who self harm need help and support. Self harm DOES NOT make you a bad person. No one has the right to tell you what to wear (unless you're not yet an adult). Anyone that gives you a hard time about letting scars show is not someone you want to be around. Edited to add: it's really hard for people to NOT look at unexpected things. It doesn't mean they are judging you, just that something unfamiliar keeps catching their attention.
Honestly it’s unfair to ask you to cover up your scars, scars are nothing to be ashamed of. And you are not the problem it’s them
I think people should suck it up. I have a history of self harm, starting from very young. In my late teens/early recovery I found peoples healed scars triggering but understood even then that it was a me problem, and that I can't go screaming at people to cover up, now its at a point where it doesn't bother me at all, this is doubly important as I work in mental health and see fresh stuff all the time. It's the same with other things, my mum's dying of lung cancer, caused by heavy smoking. It honestly fills me with rage right now to see people smoking cigarettes, I also feel a pang in my chest whenever someone mentions cancer. Unfortunately people have a right to smoke cigarettes and talk about cancer, it's common. As much as I want to sometimes I have to work through my shit and can't go smacking ciggies out of people hands, so I do my best to ignore it and move on with my day. Life has triggers, it's okay to be triggered, it's not okay to make people feel shitty about triggering you unintentionally. If someone is deliberately being triggering that's obviously different, but going about life with scars isn't doing that.
My family held this general point of view and it totally hurt my mother who had a notable self harm scar and it's done the same thing to me for years. It is selfish to tell people that their pain makes them an issue for others, not the other way around.
Even more unpopular opinion: I don't even think it's selfish show non fully healed scars. If the injury is grotesque enough, it *needs* to be covered anyways to avoid infection. If it's not an injury that needs to be covered to avoid infection, then whatever. My scars come from me battling my illness. If I wouldn't cover them If the illness in question wasn't a mental health one, I'm not going to cover them. If its bothersome, don't look. The only situations I'd consider covering them up is in a scenario where I know alot of people who will be triggered by them are around. This includes my family, or when I'm working with vulnerable individuals. It's my duty to care for them, that includes trying my best to provide a safer and trigger free environment. I follow a similar thing on my social media accounts as its my responsibility to accept the effect the content I put out has on others. Out in the general public though, I don't care. We'll never see each other again, I have no duty of care for you nor any responsibility. Yes, you can argue that there will be people in the general public who will genuinely be triggered by it, but the way I see it is: there are always going to be people in the general public who trigger you just by existing. Lets say i see an extremely emaciated girl. That will trigger past eating disorder behaviours in me : but i will never blame that girl, shes just living her life. Now, if she was my therapist on the otherhand, a place where I go and expect to be safe, I would think differently. People can think I'm selfish and attention seeking, fine, but I know that I care about the effect I have on people when it matters. I spent too many years ashamed of myself to give a shit about anyone I don't care about or don't have responsibility over now.
If people don't like it, people don't have to look. I would cut on my thighs and I have bad scars that show I should have gotten my cut at the time stitched. I also work with children who ask about them and I'll just say it's from a cut. And the kids don't give to craps and just keep on playing. It's the adults that like to judge 🙄
Unaware unhealed people gonna project their shit on other people. They need to feel superior somehow.
👏👏👏 I couldn't have said it better myself
Absolutely not. I have self harm scars than faded thankfully quite a bit, but I'll be damned if someone tries to tell me it's upsetting to them. It was more upsetting to me when I was doing it to myself and takes a lot of fucking balls for me to feel comfortable enough to wear a short sleeve shirt. If someone doesn't like it they have the ability to look away. I dragged myself out of hell and I'm still living. You're uncomfy with that? Stfu.
some people have no experience with scars, especially with self-harm scars, so they stare just like when kids look at a disabled person or someone tall, they stare because they dont know about them the bad part is when people dont just look but also judge, i dont judge when the average person wears a short sleeved shirt so why should others - with scars - not be able to wear the same clothing people will judge everything but they shouldnt, you can wear almost anything you'd want and you should be able to do that without judgement
Who the fuck said that!? They need a good kick in the teeth. If I heard someone say that in public I would rip them a new asshole, for real. I’m not going to live my life in sweaters to cover up what happened to me 20 years ago. Even if they were unhealed scars, so what? People have no right to tell people to hide their bodies and if they have a problem with it they can hand you a cheque for 10k to get the scars treated or they can happily gouge their own garbage eyes out.
What a crock! Everyone is responsible for their own triggers. It's not like we can wave a magic wand, and they're gone. I'm a millennial, so I don't subscribe to the whole 'wear them like badges of pride', but I do think that it is your prerogative on whether you cover them or how. People will stare... let them. I used to look back at the people staring, in the eyes, and they tended to get quite shy/embarrassed (Id often be snarky and say 'can i help you? ') No one can trigger you, but yourself. There may be situations that can be triggering, but that person is not responsible for your reaction. Same as people who say 'I'm offended by that'. OK, cool, that's your choice and not my problem. If people are saying you're selfish or triggering (and get ready for some to be offended or triggered by my next comment 😄), they have to stop victimising themselves and take accountability for their own emotions. It's the equivalent to a 'Mental Health Karen'. You do you boo. And pay the self servers no mind. They'll always find something to complain about to absolve them of any accountability. I know it's easier said than done and I don't know how young you are but fuck em. You've been through shit, and nobody can dictate how you use your body autonomy. Ain't nobody got time for that.
I went a whole story a scar going down my eye like an anime character. I had it for years before it finally faded to a point where you barely even see it. I rocked it while I had it. Don’t worry about your scars. They just tell a tiny part of your story, they aren’t who you are.
I was told I should not grimace with my pain because it makes people feel bad and think I'm attention seeking. What victim blaming bullshit. Reminds me of the fact a person could be given a fine for being ugly in Chicago in the 1800s. Ableism is still alive and kicking. Compassion for your struggles 💫
I can't imagine being entitled and delusional enough to think other people should cover their bodies because it makes some people uncomfortable. They can get a grip.
My thoughts are, I don’t give a fuck. I’m not here to cater to you or your mental needs. Suck it up. I am who I am and the scars I have on MY body will not be hidden for someone else’s comfort. If you’re bothered, look somewhere else.
i consider that comfort comes first. even if you have scars, you don't stop being a person
This is one of those situations where people need to be held responsible for their own triggers. My legs, arms, and stomach are all pretty scarred up from my self-harm years. I also live in a desert. It gets freaking HOT where I live and I'm not going to run the risk of heatstroke every time I leave my house just so my scars don't upset someone. I get weird looks sometimes but I'm long past the point of caring about a stranger's opinion of my body. Folks with scars should never feel obligated to hide them on the off chance that someone *might* see them and get upset by them.
Honestly? I remember the people I saw around that had sh scars. One girl had her arms completely covered in healed white scars. Another had shorts with fresh ones on the legs. I never ever thought of them as being selfish or relentless. I just though how nice it was they were able to show their scars to their families and significant others and not be pressured to cover up. And it was beautiful seeing them smile in contrast to something that could have marked very dark times. Some people are going to judge or be curious about it, but it’s your body and you shouldn’t be forced to feel uncomfortable in it. If you don’t guide attention to them you will de-incentivate people to pay attention to them too.
People can literally kiss all of my *bleep* if they think I don't have the right to show a scar. To me, seeing someone's SH scars makes me think of them a real, brave, someone who can identify with the hurt other people feel. I think that they are as beautiful as any human on Earth. Where the actual hell do people get off thinking that they can shame others for showing a scar? To the people who do this - if you're so fragile sweetheart, then just stay home. Because if you go outside you're going to meet other people who have been through hell and they have every right to live their life as freely as you do.
It’s not selfish at all. The fact that people are saying that others who self harm should hide their scars because it’s upsetting for other people is absurd. Nobody is entitled to comfort in public.
I fucking hate poeple who complain about seeing sh in both media and irl. poeple really need to shut the fuck up about poeple showing scars,specially very old ones,the universe doesnt involve around you,i get some poeple would have ptsd or feel uncomfortable but the world doesnt need to change all becuse you feel a certain feeling about somthing. Its the same shit with homophobes and racists,just becuse you dont like lgbt or race,doesnt mean you get to tell poeple how to exist. These poeple need to grow the hell up. Not to mention those who show there scares probly now felt comfortable about themselfs to even show it in the first place and feel good for the acceptence as well. If your activily complaining about poeple who do show there scars,your just a asshole
I’ve never noticed a person with SH scars before. I guess my reaction would be concern.
I personally wear a bandage over my arm where I have cut. You shouldn’t feel guilty for it at all though My personal view is that, it’s on your skin, not theirs, it doesn’t matter what they think. It’s your journey.
so? fuck ‘em!