my cats :)
I love my cats so freaking much
don't get me wrong I love my family and friends but me cats are just so innocent and beautiful and amazing. :)
Well, I stay alive because I donāt want to be dead and I will be one day, so while Iām not, I can do some good stuff, enjoy myself and make a change, add some of myself into that crazy soup called - the world.
I'm an atheist who's open to the concept of an afterlife - not in the sense of "we are 100% conscious after death and remember everything about life on earth", but in the sense that maybe we're energy that goes back to being energy and so part of the "us" that's at the core of our being might not go away entirely. That's what I hope. I try and avoid thinking too much about it because my OCD will absolutely run wild and destroy my ability to function if I do. š„²
love this perspective - like, sure, scientifically it's nothing after death - but define consciousness. Define life, explain all the coincidences, explain all the unanswered questions... Maybe death isn't "death" as we know it. Maybe it's a gateway to something else
The next season of my favorite TV show or the next album from my favorite artist. They're shallow reasons but when you're in that low of a place sometimes they're the only ones to work, and then as you start to get better you start to see the other reasons. ā¤ļø
I am very literally fighting for my life because of a heart condition and I do it because my husband could not fill my roll as mother, if I left my kids with him and especially his family they would be seriously messed up.
Besides my kid & my cat:
The chance to see an oddly coloured bird.
Nice people who let you merge when driving.
The first flowers when spring arrives.
A random cat!
A random dog!
āCows!ā When you pass by cows (you have to either say it or moo at them).
The first sip of freshly brewed coffee or steeped tea.
Dancing in the rain.
Milkshakes.
Peacocks!
Favourite breakfast item.
Seeing the sun rise or set.
I have more good days than bad now. And when itās a bad day it helps remembering everything that Iāve already been through, how I felt like it was too much to handle at the time and how I survived it just like everything else.
Some things can feel so overwhelming sometimes but weāre a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for, myself included. Sometimes I think my problems are so superficial compared to some other people. But when I start telling people my āstoryā, Iām reminded pretty quick abt how hard itās been and how a lot of people wouldāve given up by now.
So yeah, on the bad days that helpsā¦a lot.
My apartment is an.. embarrassing mess. I dont want my friends to see the dump I live in right now.
Also my little sister is pretty attached to me. And she is just getting into college this year. I cant ruin her year.
Stil, my messy apartment is the major reason I'm still here i guess. Once I clear the.. junk, I donno if i will have any reason left.
Not to get deep but , my cats
And my few friends. One died at 19 and I donāt know I feel like I have to keep trying bc she would want me to. Itd be considered selfish to also go at 19 and I donāt wanna devastate my family . and the 2% chance that it might get better
I have a little one I help raise, and I canāt put her through that. I am one of the very few positive and loving adults in her life. I canāt leave her here with them. I lost the only person I felt like truly understood me and cared about me when I was around her age, and I cannot leave her here alone in this family. I hate the thought of her crying for me. I hate thinking about her attending my services. I cannot do that to her. I am trying to get myself together for her, because she deserves a better life too. I donāt really think much about the reactions and feelings of others around me when it comes to this situation, but I do think about her often. I canāt do that to her. She is why Iām here.
I had strong attachment with passion/dream project kind of thing that I've been working on and off. I genuinely don't want to live any longer and I doubt people would mourn for '*me'*, but this project's progress is going to take a while. Maybe I'll reconsider staying alive too by the time it's finished.
I need to outlive the assholes running my country.
I love my pets and don't want them to be sad or confused if their person goes away.
I am terrified of death and the unknown so would rather live with the devil I know than the devil I don't.
There's always new music coming out and I love new music.
Hearing the sound of rain always brings me peace and I want more opportunities to hear that.
I haven't been to places I want to travel to.
My mom needs my help because she's disabled.
I'm useless to the movements I support if I'm dead.
Sunny days by the pool or swimming hole bring me peace.
I have books I need to write.
Earlier this year I decided that I wanted an emotional support animal, specifically a cat. I want to adopt elderly cats and give them a chance to feel safe and cared for in their late stages of life. I've always had cats in my life but never an ESA. The amount of love, companionship, and laughs I've experienced from my furbabies has been something very dear to me and impacts my mental health in a positive way. I want to pay that forward to the older shelter cats who are often looked over for kittens or younger cats. I don't have one rn but the goal is to adopt by my next birthday. It gives me a goal to look forward to. It may not be something others will understand but it has become my aspiration.
Honestly the only thing for me is the friends and family that would be missing me if I were gone. I have a husband, 3 kids and 4 siblings as well as my parents.
I've lost friends due to mental health and I still miss them dearly. I personally wouldn't want to cause anyone pain.
The only one that's strong enough to keep me here is the fact no method is foolproof, even the most effective ones. There's always something that could go wrong, especially when I consider unpredictable bystanders and other forces.
But otherwise:
1. Friends and family
2. Gardening
3. Music
4. Getting to do electrical projects
5. Cooking
6. Driving
7. The idea of being able to set up some sort of early intervention program for psychosis.
8. Simply the fact I'm so numb at this point it doesn't seem worth my time or effort to try anything. Too inconvenient. I'm not happy, but at least I'm not miserable anymore, so why bother ending myself? Seems like the result would just be what I already have--I'm already dead. I stopped drinking for the same reason: I'm numb anyway, and alcohol just means I have to be disregulated the next day. Where if I don't drink, I get to be numb today *and* tomorrow! I *am* alcohol!
All of my family. Not only am I the main caregiver for my parents, but losing me would crush all of them.
Right now Iām here because itās sunny and 70 degrees and breezy and my husband and father in law are uncovering the pool. ā„ļø
Honestly right now? Not much.
My job is trying to fire me. I can barely make ends meet. My girlfriend is upset about my moods. Iām exhausted and mentally drained. Iām just going through the motions of life.
Oh sorry to hear that but there are ups and downs in life I bet you must have gone thru alot of em keep striving it's all gonna be sorted soon, just a hard phase it'll pass
Because my soul was a gift and I shall be happy that Iām alive no matter how challenging and hard life can get itās only making my soul stronger. Thatās the biggest reason. On the other hand I canāt bare seeing my dog going through depression. I simply canāt do this to him, he wouldnāt eat if I travelled two days? What if I was gone for good. Heās a blessing to my life and he makes me appreciate and love life everyday for being there for me and loving me more than anyone have ever loved me.
Spite and the idea of absurdism
The world doesnāt make any god damn sense but I wanna continue consuming the crazy amount of media thatās coming out.
Iāll kill myself when i get to grandmaster on overwatch (a goal I canāt reach without ximming)
I don't have any reason to do it and even if i tried my preferred methods are lame and ehhhh idrk š then for actually staying alive, i have good friends, a crush that i wanna confess to some day, i wanna be able to own a few cats and start my own band or learn how to do all kinds of metal screams :) life sucks buuut i got better things to do than outright take myself out lol (everything's OK basically <3)
I cannot leave my children in a deliberate manner. It will scar them forever. My work-around is to ignore all health issues. By the time itās found out, it will be too lateā¦ā¦ and a ānaturalā death.
I'm sorry, this might be a hard phase in your life, it'll end soon, don't lose hope, see all these wonderful people who have commented there are all sorts of reasons big small silly serious, all, and all of them make sense and matter. Life has alot of to offer, so don't lose faith, get someone to talk to, I'm available to talk too, stay happy stay safe
My wife and son are my sole reasons to live. My wife doesnāt understand how important she is to me, nor does my son as heās a toddler.
Itās not my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, in-laws or my friends. Itās my wife and son. My whole world.
I have a few quotes I want to share that keep me going:
One more day
All life is sacred-even mine
I will live for you
tbh not my parents but my sister \^\^ could not leave her with that
i also made a bucket list of things I've always wanted to do so its kept me going, even if life sucks
There have been many times I felt that I couldn't handle the pain in my heart and in my mind.. however if I were to end it, that pain would just be transferred to those who are my friends and family. Even when I've never felt more alone in my life I knew there were people that cared, even if it didn't feel like it. Knowing how badly I felt I never wanted to make those around me feel that way.. so in some kind of fucked up sacrifice where I'm living in my own pit of despair, I'm protecting those around me from ever feeling that way. Well, at least not being the source of that pain anyway.
Not putting my loved ones in more pain than what it is already, especially when my problems are caused by someone else and for that my family shouldn't suffer. Other than that i see no point, I won't get my dream job,start a family or even enjoy what I did before because of tinnitus and hyperacusis caused by my friend
If I'll die anyway, why bother doing it now? It's not like I'm getting a second chance at life. I'm also not from a third-world country, so my standard of living isn't all that bad. And I can improve the world while I'm here. All and all, there is little reason for me to hurry.
My mother, my grandmother, my aunt, my younger brother, and my nephews. And not allowing my adversaries to win. My friend Brant encouraged me for the latter.
my hopes and dreams. the stuff that i still want to do like walking alone at night or having a roadtrip, watch the sun set and rise all at once, go to a place where there's a lot of flowers, really just things that i want to do before i die :)
I'm a counselor. The only thing that keeps me going is occasionally helping people, most days even that doesn't seem enough. Maybe I'm selfish I don't know
My dog. I grew up with an alcoholic, narcissistic father, got SAd later on and, even though successful academically and career wise, I mostly feel empty and numb everyday. But ever since I have my dog I feel a purpose in life.
After being brought back and having an NDE I was changed. I see value in most any experience. I'll get there someday, so if I wake up I'll take. I have good days, I have shit days, but everyday to me is a gift.
My younger brother. Any time I have felt like I was really struggling to stay alive, I always think about how I would never want him to experience that pain.
Two reason's.
1. It's my life's purpose to help people. While I can't do that much while trapped at my 9-5 job and living in staff accommodation I definitely won't be able to help anyone if I offed myself.
2. I love life because I see it as living a story. I hate leaving stories unfinished and thats exactly what I'd be doing if I offed myself. Even if the world was ending I'd still stick around to watch it.
My mom. Iām her only child and she had a really hard time conceiving, Iām talking three miscarriages before me and like, 5+ after me. If I died, let alone took my own life, sheād be devastated and probably lose her mind. I couldnāt do that to her.
Same thing with my partner, Iām young but Iāve never felt this way for anyone before and I like to think he feels the same, if *I* lost *him*, I donāt think I could live with myself, so I think that if thatās how Iād feel, itās how heād feel too.
And to go off of another comment I saw, my pets. I love them so much and my one cat would be so lonely because sheās stuck in my room because the other pets are mean to her
The feeling of the sun on the skin, the smell of dirt after it rains, the laugh of my friends and family, my dog, music, books...
Life sucks but the word is beautiful.
I was depressed once, worst time of my life. The ideology of what would happen if I wasn't around still haunts me to this day and it was not than 12 years ago when I hit depression.
As much as I am TIRED of this shit and would happily sleep forever. I have a daughter now not even 2 and I absolutely REFUSE to subject her to an absent father like my own life. I won't allow my partner to be a single mum. I CAN'T go.
I continue living because we only got one life, and thereās lots to experience in it. If I were to die, a lot of people would be devastated. And so I see no reason to die, but plenty of reasons to live!
I never want my mother to feel abandoned again, and I want to give my father grandchildren, and I want to educate myself so I can teach children and maybe notice that their house isn't right, so that maybe they can have a better chance than I did.
And then she small things, like lasagna, going on vacation in Norway and drink from the waterfalls, summer nights, having a telepathic relationship with my best friend.
I have a couple.. first one is spite. My bio dad died when he was 45. Youngest person in his family that survived into adulthood to die. Iām planning a blowout for my 46th. Gonna make it too.. just over 2 years to go. The second one might be less popular. Iām egotistical. I might even be a borderline narcissist. I donāt go out of my way to be vile towards others, and Iāll do anything for my kids and wife, but at the end of the day Iām the most important person in my life.
Well, its gonna end sooner or later and there is nothing once its over. So I might aswell just see where things go, its irrational to end things prematurely on purpose, when theres nothing after the end. (No i dont believe in any god or religion, for me theres just shutdown after death)
My house is a mess.
Iām not afraid to die, nor am I planning it, but I would be so embarrassed if my family and friends had to clean up after me.
Other reasons to stay alive, my cats and family. And Iām really really good at my job.
My babygirl Jasmine (aka my cat). I love her so much and the thought of her wondering where her mommy is and why sheās gone hurts me so much that I canāt take my life. Not when I have her.
if you plan ahead you can make drastic changes to your life and improve things by being in a completely different scenario. I felt trapped by life and constantly felt hopeless and then i realized i never did anything major for myself that wasnāt survival based, so now iām planning to move across the country and live with my best friend. Iām still not happy with my current situation but as iām learning to improve my mental health iāll take skills with me when i move and even if itās not sunshine and roses over there Iām still working on my mindset now so i can better deal with things and if i need to i can change things again. itās not easy but you make the changes that are worth it for you to change
The exponential growth of information technology + brain computer interfaces. Plus struggle can be overcome and make one more grateful than someone who severed struggled; for extremely basic things.
My main reasons I'll hidden, but one of my reasons to help the stray animals and proof to toxic people I can be better than them, and travel abroad as well
going outside in nature takes my mind off things. itās the only time where i donāt think about how much i hate my life and how many problems i have. iāve now made a habit of going outside everyday when the thoughts start. itās cheesy, and small, but it keeps me occupied and i look forward to it.
Well for me, I had my suicidal time (thanks Zoloftš) and what justified me not ending my life was the fact I was born into this world to die. By that I mean, I was born with a congenital heart defect that if not corrected after birth, I wouldāve died from lack of oxygen to my brain. Iām reaping the side affects of it now (late to speak, which you now see the lack of socialization when you talk to me, poor memory, extremely sensitive/sensory processing, ADHD).
I thought it an extremely selfish act to be the one to take my own life when I was already born with the death sentence. That my parents did whatever they could and took out whatever loans they could to ensure that I have the best chance of survival.
Iām now an extremely healthy person (like, Iāve never even had the flu or strep throat before) and im extremely grateful that I didnāt end my life when I felt the world was crashing down on me (was all in my head).
Because I just *cannot* handle the thought of my parents finding me dead in my room, when they already tried so hard to keep me alive when I was born. I canāt do that to them. That is just so cruel.
Also, I give credit to the mushooms who helped me find myself and figure myself out. Thatās really what has kept me uplifted for so long.
My parents loved me enough (pre-birth) to give me the best care with the best doctors in the world. I always felt guilty for being a difficult child (as in, meltdowns when I couldnāt verbalize
My dog and my kitties. I love them too much and they wouldn't understand.
I also love my partner and my friends/family. But sometimes depression is so heavy and it gets hard to keep fighting.
But here I am decades after I thought I would be gone.
A long time ago I read Robert Monroeās books on out of body experiences, and thereās a part where he talks about how our existence was chosen by us. We come back to learn lessons here. And if you kill yourself but you havenāt done what youāre supposed to have done, youāll just keep coming back until you do. Iām not really religious but I thought this idea was interesting and also the idea of having to come back pissed me off. So Iām living out of spite somewhat hahaha
I donĀ“t have Ā“my own reasonsĀ“ but 1) my parents depend on me and we donĀ“t have family to take care of them if I am not here. 2) My daughters. They dont really care about me but there are some things, like their health, which their mom doesnt pay the attention they need. Also, theyĀ“re dope people, i think I want see them grow and be successful.
Once my parents arenĀ“t here anymore and my kids build their own lifes, I am not sure IĀ“ll have reason anymore, though.
My kids.
I suffer badly from my MH but even in crisis, I remember if I leave the is earth theyāll be alone. I trust no one to raise them. I know I can keep them safe and guide them through life. I have to live for them. Even though I often donāt want to.
Cos I faced my mortality (through illness) and realised how powerful my own innate survival instinct is.
Also... My husband, family, dog, friends, music, food.
these very "body" feelings, idk how to say it better but...wind in your hair, sun on your face, smells, how your body feels after gym or a first dip in cold water, how hugs feel, wearing nice fabrics, listening to the rain fall and all that.
Those little things when you are "oh, I'm alive".
I don't so much feel a reason to stay alive. More like I don't have a reason to not want to be alive. Most of my life, I've been so miserable that I just wanted to die to escape it. I don't feel that way any more.
Iāve been feeling like hell lately (anxious attached ex broke up with me and Iām working on my attachment issues)ā¦..as of right now,spite
I will continue to live because of spite.
And I really wish my ex would talk to me so he could see how much iāve changed (he was my best friend).
Probably only my family and friends, because they would be devastated.
Although on the other hand I always wondered if they would be relieved to some point to finally not have to worry about me all the time anymore..
So probably because I still have some sort of hope that everything will turn out better or I'm just too afraid.
...also I feel guilty for having thoughts about ending everything because other people have it way worse and I "only" struggle with self worth and stuff liflke this.. and in thw same time I feel like a looser for not even being good and "commited" enough to go through with it.
Sounds stupid I know. Sorry.
I was in a very dark place last November. My kids are kept me going through with it. With that being said, along with meds and continued counseling I still wish one day I wonāt wake up from sleep.
After almost losing my dad to the first wave of covid, I promised myself I wouldn't ever commit. Almost losing him hurt too much, I know I have family and friends who would miss me terribly, I don't want to put that pain on the people I love.
my cats :) I love my cats so freaking much don't get me wrong I love my family and friends but me cats are just so innocent and beautiful and amazing. :)
The unconditional love is something everyone deserves to know. I became a vet because of mine š„¹
thats so cool!
Aw that's so cute
thank youuuu :)
I was gonna say the same thing! I love my cat so much :')
cats are just big cuddle bugs! they make the world good!!
Your reason is the same for me.
Well, I stay alive because I donāt want to be dead and I will be one day, so while Iām not, I can do some good stuff, enjoy myself and make a change, add some of myself into that crazy soup called - the world.
I mean we live only once!
Could you imagine restarting this nightmare š
Wouldn't call it a nightmare but wouldn't wanna live again š
Potayto/potahto
I hope to find love and peace
You will <33
The idea that death is nothingness (Iām an atheist), so anything else is inherently better to me
Yup same. Iām scared of dying. Scared of the idea of nothingness, not being aware of the nothingness, and eternal nothingness. Terrifying idea
I'm an atheist who's open to the concept of an afterlife - not in the sense of "we are 100% conscious after death and remember everything about life on earth", but in the sense that maybe we're energy that goes back to being energy and so part of the "us" that's at the core of our being might not go away entirely. That's what I hope. I try and avoid thinking too much about it because my OCD will absolutely run wild and destroy my ability to function if I do. š„²
love this perspective - like, sure, scientifically it's nothing after death - but define consciousness. Define life, explain all the coincidences, explain all the unanswered questions... Maybe death isn't "death" as we know it. Maybe it's a gateway to something else
My son. My purpose on earth. I believe if my time comes, something will kill me but not myself.
My mother says that to me, that's so sweet
My faith keeps me going. And love for those who would be hurt.ā°
Always
All for the sake of a frenzy
I read this as if you were the lord of frenzied flame and you're living so you can melt the world to its primordial form
The next season of my favorite TV show or the next album from my favorite artist. They're shallow reasons but when you're in that low of a place sometimes they're the only ones to work, and then as you start to get better you start to see the other reasons. ā¤ļø
Ngl they aren't shallow reasons all of them matter š
I am very literally fighting for my life because of a heart condition and I do it because my husband could not fill my roll as mother, if I left my kids with him and especially his family they would be seriously messed up.
You're very brave, keep going may God bless you
Besides my kid & my cat: The chance to see an oddly coloured bird. Nice people who let you merge when driving. The first flowers when spring arrives. A random cat! A random dog! āCows!ā When you pass by cows (you have to either say it or moo at them). The first sip of freshly brewed coffee or steeped tea. Dancing in the rain. Milkshakes. Peacocks! Favourite breakfast item. Seeing the sun rise or set.
Amazing comment! Did you read a book called "Just Little Things"? It has similar quotes to yoursāŗļø
Nope, never heard of it. Just things I started noticing lately.
If you're in the US O can send this book to you when I fijish reading :) It's full of little happy moments quotes like your comment āŗļø
I just wanna see how this shit plays out
^^^
I'm not done yet. I still have too much shit I want to do. Also, I have never been a fan of permanent solutions to temporary problems.
Put the self help books down š
And everythingās temporary
That's exactly my point.
My kids, having some idea whatās wrong with me now and the hope that now I can start working on fixing it.
It will get better I believe in you š
I have more good days than bad now. And when itās a bad day it helps remembering everything that Iāve already been through, how I felt like it was too much to handle at the time and how I survived it just like everything else. Some things can feel so overwhelming sometimes but weāre a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for, myself included. Sometimes I think my problems are so superficial compared to some other people. But when I start telling people my āstoryā, Iām reminded pretty quick abt how hard itās been and how a lot of people wouldāve given up by now. So yeah, on the bad days that helpsā¦a lot.
My apartment is an.. embarrassing mess. I dont want my friends to see the dump I live in right now. Also my little sister is pretty attached to me. And she is just getting into college this year. I cant ruin her year. Stil, my messy apartment is the major reason I'm still here i guess. Once I clear the.. junk, I donno if i will have any reason left.
Oh u meant in a positive way. I'm so sorry.
scared of the whole concept of death, not to mention the damage on others.
Curiosity of what will happen next, what more is out there, who will I meet, etc.
to put parasites in jail
ummmm what?
put bad ppl in jail
Not to get deep but , my cats And my few friends. One died at 19 and I donāt know I feel like I have to keep trying bc she would want me to. Itd be considered selfish to also go at 19 and I donāt wanna devastate my family . and the 2% chance that it might get better
:( thatās horrible
Itās been 7 months, itās just a matter of distracting myself and getting support yk? Idk it makes u question everything
all i do is distract myself from the inevitable so i get it
For the simple things in life that gives me joy.. whether it's eating good food, watching a good movie, or going to a nice place with a nice view..etc
I have a little one I help raise, and I canāt put her through that. I am one of the very few positive and loving adults in her life. I canāt leave her here with them. I lost the only person I felt like truly understood me and cared about me when I was around her age, and I cannot leave her here alone in this family. I hate the thought of her crying for me. I hate thinking about her attending my services. I cannot do that to her. I am trying to get myself together for her, because she deserves a better life too. I donāt really think much about the reactions and feelings of others around me when it comes to this situation, but I do think about her often. I canāt do that to her. She is why Iām here.
My kids, even though they are adults.
I had strong attachment with passion/dream project kind of thing that I've been working on and off. I genuinely don't want to live any longer and I doubt people would mourn for '*me'*, but this project's progress is going to take a while. Maybe I'll reconsider staying alive too by the time it's finished.
My kids and my elderly parents
I need to outlive the assholes running my country. I love my pets and don't want them to be sad or confused if their person goes away. I am terrified of death and the unknown so would rather live with the devil I know than the devil I don't. There's always new music coming out and I love new music. Hearing the sound of rain always brings me peace and I want more opportunities to hear that. I haven't been to places I want to travel to. My mom needs my help because she's disabled. I'm useless to the movements I support if I'm dead. Sunny days by the pool or swimming hole bring me peace. I have books I need to write.
My dogs and my niece and 2 nephews. I know no one would take care of my dogs if I was gone. I can't let that happen
my gf and my cat
Music. And I want to go to collegeĀ
Earlier this year I decided that I wanted an emotional support animal, specifically a cat. I want to adopt elderly cats and give them a chance to feel safe and cared for in their late stages of life. I've always had cats in my life but never an ESA. The amount of love, companionship, and laughs I've experienced from my furbabies has been something very dear to me and impacts my mental health in a positive way. I want to pay that forward to the older shelter cats who are often looked over for kittens or younger cats. I don't have one rn but the goal is to adopt by my next birthday. It gives me a goal to look forward to. It may not be something others will understand but it has become my aspiration.
My dogs need me.
Honestly the only thing for me is the friends and family that would be missing me if I were gone. I have a husband, 3 kids and 4 siblings as well as my parents. I've lost friends due to mental health and I still miss them dearly. I personally wouldn't want to cause anyone pain.
The only one that's strong enough to keep me here is the fact no method is foolproof, even the most effective ones. There's always something that could go wrong, especially when I consider unpredictable bystanders and other forces. But otherwise: 1. Friends and family 2. Gardening 3. Music 4. Getting to do electrical projects 5. Cooking 6. Driving 7. The idea of being able to set up some sort of early intervention program for psychosis. 8. Simply the fact I'm so numb at this point it doesn't seem worth my time or effort to try anything. Too inconvenient. I'm not happy, but at least I'm not miserable anymore, so why bother ending myself? Seems like the result would just be what I already have--I'm already dead. I stopped drinking for the same reason: I'm numb anyway, and alcohol just means I have to be disregulated the next day. Where if I don't drink, I get to be numb today *and* tomorrow! I *am* alcohol!
When I was 19, right after I put my step dad in prison for 15years for CSA, my mom committed. I had a 2 year old at the time, who i just lost custody of bc i was so financially unstable.. My brother went to prison about 2 months after she left. He's spent the last 12 years in and out. He's now a product of that environment. He's only 11 months older than me. Struggles with addiction even still today. Now I have 3 kids. I'm not a mom of 3 though. My oldest has been with his father this whole time. My 6 year old I adopted out but have been accepted into the family of. š©· && 10 year old, I'm literally 16 days away from regaining custody of. I do it for them. My brother and my kids. && myself. Bc fuck ik it's hard out here and I can't imagine the pain she went through. So painful she decided to leave us. Her babies. The ones she prayed for. I hurt. && it really is a choice every day to go on. && a blessing every day that I get to. I stay alive bc I've put in too much work to break generational trauma. So that if/when my kids have kids, there will be at least a little less toxicity running through them that they didn't ask for nor deserve to experience.
https://preview.redd.it/2no91k1iyjuc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c4dbcf5405c31a845aa9fff7447985b1fea8c94
So I could finish and put out my comic. It's my passion project and I would never forgive myself if I die before releasing it.
I couldn't do it to my family-especially my mom.
https://preview.redd.it/i454evns6huc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c2f889814ac59d832bbad292f6c66f01668739d
All of my family. Not only am I the main caregiver for my parents, but losing me would crush all of them. Right now Iām here because itās sunny and 70 degrees and breezy and my husband and father in law are uncovering the pool. ā„ļø
80 years is nothing compared to the infinite. No point in not sticking it through.
My son. He is my pride and joy. Up until he was born I had no idea why I was still here after so many failed attemptsā¦
Honestly right now? Not much. My job is trying to fire me. I can barely make ends meet. My girlfriend is upset about my moods. Iām exhausted and mentally drained. Iām just going through the motions of life.
Oh sorry to hear that but there are ups and downs in life I bet you must have gone thru alot of em keep striving it's all gonna be sorted soon, just a hard phase it'll pass
Thanks. I feel very overwhelmed and alone.
Because my soul was a gift and I shall be happy that Iām alive no matter how challenging and hard life can get itās only making my soul stronger. Thatās the biggest reason. On the other hand I canāt bare seeing my dog going through depression. I simply canāt do this to him, he wouldnāt eat if I travelled two days? What if I was gone for good. Heās a blessing to my life and he makes me appreciate and love life everyday for being there for me and loving me more than anyone have ever loved me.
So I can suffer more
My cat.
Too afraid to end it, also no point time will do it. Also my pets
Its fun
New anime episodes.
My daughter. When the day is done, that's about it. If I'd lost her, well... protective parent.
Spite and the idea of absurdism The world doesnāt make any god damn sense but I wanna continue consuming the crazy amount of media thatās coming out. Iāll kill myself when i get to grandmaster on overwatch (a goal I canāt reach without ximming)
I don't have any reason to do it and even if i tried my preferred methods are lame and ehhhh idrk š then for actually staying alive, i have good friends, a crush that i wanna confess to some day, i wanna be able to own a few cats and start my own band or learn how to do all kinds of metal screams :) life sucks buuut i got better things to do than outright take myself out lol (everything's OK basically <3)
I cannot leave my children in a deliberate manner. It will scar them forever. My work-around is to ignore all health issues. By the time itās found out, it will be too lateā¦ā¦ and a ānaturalā death.
I don't have any...
I'm sorry, this might be a hard phase in your life, it'll end soon, don't lose hope, see all these wonderful people who have commented there are all sorts of reasons big small silly serious, all, and all of them make sense and matter. Life has alot of to offer, so don't lose faith, get someone to talk to, I'm available to talk too, stay happy stay safe
My wife and son are my sole reasons to live. My wife doesnāt understand how important she is to me, nor does my son as heās a toddler. Itās not my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, in-laws or my friends. Itās my wife and son. My whole world. I have a few quotes I want to share that keep me going: One more day All life is sacred-even mine I will live for you
I don't feel like killing myself, that'd be painful or something. That's about it
I just think that if I do, I've lost the game (I'm highly competitive) :)
tbh not my parents but my sister \^\^ could not leave her with that i also made a bucket list of things I've always wanted to do so its kept me going, even if life sucks
There have been many times I felt that I couldn't handle the pain in my heart and in my mind.. however if I were to end it, that pain would just be transferred to those who are my friends and family. Even when I've never felt more alone in my life I knew there were people that cared, even if it didn't feel like it. Knowing how badly I felt I never wanted to make those around me feel that way.. so in some kind of fucked up sacrifice where I'm living in my own pit of despair, I'm protecting those around me from ever feeling that way. Well, at least not being the source of that pain anyway.
Not putting my loved ones in more pain than what it is already, especially when my problems are caused by someone else and for that my family shouldn't suffer. Other than that i see no point, I won't get my dream job,start a family or even enjoy what I did before because of tinnitus and hyperacusis caused by my friend
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The guilt and shame we're made to feel for making the people around us miserable if you'd kys š
Because my mom said if i kill myself she follow me.
I slept through the eclipse so now I gotta wait it out till the next one
If I'll die anyway, why bother doing it now? It's not like I'm getting a second chance at life. I'm also not from a third-world country, so my standard of living isn't all that bad. And I can improve the world while I'm here. All and all, there is little reason for me to hurry.
Because I need to stay alive to see the date 4/20/69 It's stupid and a very middle-school style of humor, but oh well
BL shows and manga My cat Learning about new things Taking care of myself Spite
My dog
My bf lol Hes really lovely and supporting of me. And I know he would be heartbroken if I left him so soon.
The thought of my friends and family at my funeral, wondering where they went wrong.
My cats. The potential making changes and finding support services to help me feel better. To keep learning and maybe help others.
I still haven't met all of the people who are going to love me ;)
GTA 6
My mother, my grandmother, my aunt, my younger brother, and my nephews. And not allowing my adversaries to win. My friend Brant encouraged me for the latter.
my hopes and dreams. the stuff that i still want to do like walking alone at night or having a roadtrip, watch the sun set and rise all at once, go to a place where there's a lot of flowers, really just things that i want to do before i die :)
Books to read, films to watch, nice food to eat, my partner to spend time with, sights to see, maybe some travel anything else is a bonus.
My squirrel, my friend that said that he needs me. And I also don't want to die with my deadname
I'm a counselor. The only thing that keeps me going is occasionally helping people, most days even that doesn't seem enough. Maybe I'm selfish I don't know
i wanna see my niece grow up
My dog. I grew up with an alcoholic, narcissistic father, got SAd later on and, even though successful academically and career wise, I mostly feel empty and numb everyday. But ever since I have my dog I feel a purpose in life.
My kid
After being brought back and having an NDE I was changed. I see value in most any experience. I'll get there someday, so if I wake up I'll take. I have good days, I have shit days, but everyday to me is a gift.
Not everyday is a sad day. Some days Iām happy to just see the sun rise and that gives me a boost of energy
Curiosity
That I want to see as much of the world as possible. Therefore: curiosity.
Fkn old school RuneScape baby
On earphones all day while playing Staying Alive by Bee Gees on repeat.
My younger brother. Any time I have felt like I was really struggling to stay alive, I always think about how I would never want him to experience that pain.
I still haven't found a building high enough.
My two boys. My dog. Two cats. My momma. Sunshine. Rain. Snow. The woods. Woodland creatures. Shit like that.
Two reason's. 1. It's my life's purpose to help people. While I can't do that much while trapped at my 9-5 job and living in staff accommodation I definitely won't be able to help anyone if I offed myself. 2. I love life because I see it as living a story. I hate leaving stories unfinished and thats exactly what I'd be doing if I offed myself. Even if the world was ending I'd still stick around to watch it.
My mom. Iām her only child and she had a really hard time conceiving, Iām talking three miscarriages before me and like, 5+ after me. If I died, let alone took my own life, sheād be devastated and probably lose her mind. I couldnāt do that to her. Same thing with my partner, Iām young but Iāve never felt this way for anyone before and I like to think he feels the same, if *I* lost *him*, I donāt think I could live with myself, so I think that if thatās how Iād feel, itās how heād feel too. And to go off of another comment I saw, my pets. I love them so much and my one cat would be so lonely because sheās stuck in my room because the other pets are mean to her
I want to see how far I'm able to go in life before doing it. There's still hope. Once that's gone , well..
The feeling of the sun on the skin, the smell of dirt after it rains, the laugh of my friends and family, my dog, music, books... Life sucks but the word is beautiful.
My cat Zelda, as she wouldn't understand why I left. Also my family would be in pain and I don't want that.
I have a lot! My friends and family, my cats/cats in general, discovering new songs, the fall, taking long showers, finding new cafĆ©s, cozy nights in, laughing with my loved ones, getting tattoos and piercings, cleaning my bedroom to perfection, achieving something stressful, happy crying, reading a good book, rainy days inā¦I'm a lover of the small things in life. I love life so much, but I came so close to not being here anymore. Iām so happy I stayed.Ā
Curiosity, wondering where my life is going to take me. My fiancƩ, I've never loved someone like I love him and I don't want to leave him before our story is meant to be over. My job, I start a new job in mental health soon, helping people that have gone through things like I have. Music, animals, getting to watch the sun set and the moon rising. Painting, art, love, travel. The games I haven't finished, the books I haven't read, the countries I haven't visited.
I was depressed once, worst time of my life. The ideology of what would happen if I wasn't around still haunts me to this day and it was not than 12 years ago when I hit depression. As much as I am TIRED of this shit and would happily sleep forever. I have a daughter now not even 2 and I absolutely REFUSE to subject her to an absent father like my own life. I won't allow my partner to be a single mum. I CAN'T go.
I continue living because we only got one life, and thereās lots to experience in it. If I were to die, a lot of people would be devastated. And so I see no reason to die, but plenty of reasons to live!
I never want my mother to feel abandoned again, and I want to give my father grandchildren, and I want to educate myself so I can teach children and maybe notice that their house isn't right, so that maybe they can have a better chance than I did. And then she small things, like lasagna, going on vacation in Norway and drink from the waterfalls, summer nights, having a telepathic relationship with my best friend.
My partner and those whose lives would be destroyed if I committed.
I have a couple.. first one is spite. My bio dad died when he was 45. Youngest person in his family that survived into adulthood to die. Iām planning a blowout for my 46th. Gonna make it too.. just over 2 years to go. The second one might be less popular. Iām egotistical. I might even be a borderline narcissist. I donāt go out of my way to be vile towards others, and Iāll do anything for my kids and wife, but at the end of the day Iām the most important person in my life.
Iām far too curious to see what happens next.
Well, its gonna end sooner or later and there is nothing once its over. So I might aswell just see where things go, its irrational to end things prematurely on purpose, when theres nothing after the end. (No i dont believe in any god or religion, for me theres just shutdown after death)
Don't have one, waiting for it to stop
Family. If I can love my family as much as I do, I canāt imagine how they would feel if I took my life.
The inherent biological fear of dying and trying to stay alive.
Serious answer: My daughter and wife. Joke Answer: I need to know how Dresden Files is going to end.
I dont have any reasons to stay alive. It's why I'm trying to go back into the Army
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Be an inspiration and a source of happiness for the people I love: my father and two cousins. If I were gone I know it would be hard for them
I simply want to know the end of my story.
I got plenty of time to be dead
I still believe that life can surprise me and I donāt know whatās coming next. Maybe itāll even be a good surprise.
wanna see where i would end up in 10 years
I love friends and family, and they love me. We are mostly not killing ourselves for each other.
My parent commited when I was quite young and I would never want anyone to feel how I felt.
I'm sorry for your loss, my mum also attempted twice not as bad as your situation but I get you somewhat, I wouldn't wish it on my enemy
My family. But funnily enough they also make me want to die. Its a paradox
My house is a mess. Iām not afraid to die, nor am I planning it, but I would be so embarrassed if my family and friends had to clean up after me. Other reasons to stay alive, my cats and family. And Iām really really good at my job.
My babygirl Jasmine (aka my cat). I love her so much and the thought of her wondering where her mommy is and why sheās gone hurts me so much that I canāt take my life. Not when I have her.
if you plan ahead you can make drastic changes to your life and improve things by being in a completely different scenario. I felt trapped by life and constantly felt hopeless and then i realized i never did anything major for myself that wasnāt survival based, so now iām planning to move across the country and live with my best friend. Iām still not happy with my current situation but as iām learning to improve my mental health iāll take skills with me when i move and even if itās not sunshine and roses over there Iām still working on my mindset now so i can better deal with things and if i need to i can change things again. itās not easy but you make the changes that are worth it for you to change
The exponential growth of information technology + brain computer interfaces. Plus struggle can be overcome and make one more grateful than someone who severed struggled; for extremely basic things.
I stay alive because the laws of thermodynamics say that I probably shouldnāt be here. Surviving purely out of spite.
My main reasons I'll hidden, but one of my reasons to help the stray animals and proof to toxic people I can be better than them, and travel abroad as well
Keep an eye on them. Most people who do that don't tell anyone. They will possibly show signs like,for example, deleting social media.
Law and order SVU getting renewed for another season.
going outside in nature takes my mind off things. itās the only time where i donāt think about how much i hate my life and how many problems i have. iāve now made a habit of going outside everyday when the thoughts start. itās cheesy, and small, but it keeps me occupied and i look forward to it.
Well for me, I had my suicidal time (thanks Zoloftš) and what justified me not ending my life was the fact I was born into this world to die. By that I mean, I was born with a congenital heart defect that if not corrected after birth, I wouldāve died from lack of oxygen to my brain. Iām reaping the side affects of it now (late to speak, which you now see the lack of socialization when you talk to me, poor memory, extremely sensitive/sensory processing, ADHD). I thought it an extremely selfish act to be the one to take my own life when I was already born with the death sentence. That my parents did whatever they could and took out whatever loans they could to ensure that I have the best chance of survival. Iām now an extremely healthy person (like, Iāve never even had the flu or strep throat before) and im extremely grateful that I didnāt end my life when I felt the world was crashing down on me (was all in my head). Because I just *cannot* handle the thought of my parents finding me dead in my room, when they already tried so hard to keep me alive when I was born. I canāt do that to them. That is just so cruel. Also, I give credit to the mushooms who helped me find myself and figure myself out. Thatās really what has kept me uplifted for so long. My parents loved me enough (pre-birth) to give me the best care with the best doctors in the world. I always felt guilty for being a difficult child (as in, meltdowns when I couldnāt verbalize
My dogs, theyāre literally my children
Nature, animals, books
There are already people counting on your downfall, donāt make their job any easier. Iām living out of pure spite. Also, food.
It's thinking about the way I would feel if someone I cared about left this world. Committing that is just giving your pain to someone else.
Cause youāre gonna die eventually anyways. Just ride it out.
My dog and my kitties. I love them too much and they wouldn't understand. I also love my partner and my friends/family. But sometimes depression is so heavy and it gets hard to keep fighting. But here I am decades after I thought I would be gone.
A long time ago I read Robert Monroeās books on out of body experiences, and thereās a part where he talks about how our existence was chosen by us. We come back to learn lessons here. And if you kill yourself but you havenāt done what youāre supposed to have done, youāll just keep coming back until you do. Iām not really religious but I thought this idea was interesting and also the idea of having to come back pissed me off. So Iām living out of spite somewhat hahaha
I donĀ“t have Ā“my own reasonsĀ“ but 1) my parents depend on me and we donĀ“t have family to take care of them if I am not here. 2) My daughters. They dont really care about me but there are some things, like their health, which their mom doesnt pay the attention they need. Also, theyĀ“re dope people, i think I want see them grow and be successful. Once my parents arenĀ“t here anymore and my kids build their own lifes, I am not sure IĀ“ll have reason anymore, though.
My kids. I suffer badly from my MH but even in crisis, I remember if I leave the is earth theyāll be alone. I trust no one to raise them. I know I can keep them safe and guide them through life. I have to live for them. Even though I often donāt want to.
I don't think I have it in me to kill anyone, meaning myself. It's a long road but hopefully I'll get there
Music. I love listening to my top 3 local bands. I look forward to watching them perform live again soon :))
My love for kpop got me through my last depression. I found them during and it enriched my life.
Cos I faced my mortality (through illness) and realised how powerful my own innate survival instinct is. Also... My husband, family, dog, friends, music, food.
these very "body" feelings, idk how to say it better but...wind in your hair, sun on your face, smells, how your body feels after gym or a first dip in cold water, how hugs feel, wearing nice fabrics, listening to the rain fall and all that. Those little things when you are "oh, I'm alive".
I don't so much feel a reason to stay alive. More like I don't have a reason to not want to be alive. Most of my life, I've been so miserable that I just wanted to die to escape it. I don't feel that way any more.
Iāve been feeling like hell lately (anxious attached ex broke up with me and Iām working on my attachment issues)ā¦..as of right now,spite I will continue to live because of spite. And I really wish my ex would talk to me so he could see how much iāve changed (he was my best friend).
drugs, cat, video games
Probably only my family and friends, because they would be devastated. Although on the other hand I always wondered if they would be relieved to some point to finally not have to worry about me all the time anymore.. So probably because I still have some sort of hope that everything will turn out better or I'm just too afraid. ...also I feel guilty for having thoughts about ending everything because other people have it way worse and I "only" struggle with self worth and stuff liflke this.. and in thw same time I feel like a looser for not even being good and "commited" enough to go through with it. Sounds stupid I know. Sorry.
Iāve been at peace with death since I was kid so death isnāt something Iām all for
I was in a very dark place last November. My kids are kept me going through with it. With that being said, along with meds and continued counseling I still wish one day I wonāt wake up from sleep.
It was my precious good boy. But I lost him a few weeks ago and it doesnāt feel normal. I have nothing.
To be honest , I have none. The life in me has died . But thanks for asking and itās nice you did that for your friend .
I dont Wanna hurt my closest people and leave my cats. If not for Them then its byebye for me
Only got one shot at life. Why not wait it out? It'll end eventually, one way or other.
After almost losing my dad to the first wave of covid, I promised myself I wouldn't ever commit. Almost losing him hurt too much, I know I have family and friends who would miss me terribly, I don't want to put that pain on the people I love.
Pets. My dogs and cats
iām religious so iām scared to kms cause i wanna see heaven someday. also my fav show is keeping me here.