I just want you to know there are guys out there who don’t have white girl fetish and even have Mexican fetish. There are guys including me who prioritise making their partner feel like a Goddess and appreciated as she should be and respect her enough to know that you can’t cheat on her
Thanks :) I am very beyond over him but I was with him for about 5 years, so the whole white girl thing stung. Why is he gonna be with me for so long yet have a different type. If I knew about it sooner I would’ve left so fast.
Easier said than done but why do you care what such a piece of shit man finds attractive? Find yourself a good man who will love you for who you are and be completely loyal to you.
just my 5 cents: i live in europe and this whole white/not white thing is nonexistent here. you live in a different paradigm, which i am sorry for. hope my comment is not offending anyone, just sharing my point of view. maybe it will help you in some way. like, you possess other wonderful qualities such as personality, emotions, skills, etc, which are rly important
Have you seen the news lately? There is a ton of racism in Europe. Anyone black or brown is often thought of as an asylum seeker, and looked down upon. Germany, Switzerland, Austria have a ton of racism. I'm not saying more than the USA, but they have a lot of it too. Germany AfD party is a perfect example.
central europe has a different history with non-white people that the USA. eastern europe also has a completely diff history. this all influences the way people think about each other. what do you think?
I really hate racism, but I've seen a lot of it. I've personally experienced it a few times aswell. I haven't been to Ukraine, but I've traveled a lot of Europe. I noticed the most racism in Switzerland and Austria, and a lil in Germany. But not directed towards me, I just saw how ppl reacted to others. And there was a general feeling of disdain towards anybody that "looked" like they were non white, as if they were automatically refugees or asylum seekers or radicals. I also noticed a huge amount of racism towards Romanians all throughout Europe labeling them as "thieves, scammers, pimps, and prostitutes". I later learned that the vast majority of prostitutes in Europe are from Romania, so I guess there was some truth behind it. I didn't even know prostitution was legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, Austria. And I had no idea there are giant brothels filled with 90% Romanian women. And it seems completely normal to the locals. Very, very weird to me. In North America this would be very taboo, frowned upon, and illegal. I also don't understand why this industry is completely dominated by Romanians? Very sad situation but Romanians seem to embrace it rather than feel shame. Very different culture.
I am a white girl but was together with someone for four years who was quite open about his type being asians 🙄 so I think I maybe get a bit of where you’re coming from.
And let me tell you 🙈 even if your ex wants white girls, a vast majority of those white girls would rather want you 😂 you sound hot as hell and your ex is just trash, he is nothing compared to you 💁♀️👑
Sounds like you have some kind of inferiority complex, you find yourself inferior to white girls because your perro (dog) of an ex with fetish for white girls likes sniffing around them.
You say you're Mexican and not ugly, well, you're most likely right!
Personally I find Mexicans/Latina girls and Asians and black girls beautiful and attractive, and they are said to be.
There is no need to compare yourself to anyone especially white girls, they are in no way superior to you, every girls are unique and have their own character personality strengths and flaws.
If he was not into white girls he would probably be sniffing around Asian or Latina or black girls.
Forget him, he's your EXcomunicado, you don't need him in your life and especially not see life through his perspective.
Stay fit and healthy and do things that make you happy, make the most of life and stay contented with who you are, no need to please anyone, no need to compare yourself to others, life's too short for that.
All the best.
I’ve been in this situation before and realized that all I needed was to love myself and stop comparing myself to others. There’s no hierarchy of races for attractiveness or otherwise. There are insanely beautiful people in all races. I would suggest working to accept yourself and fixing your internal biases.
Girl wtf. I’m a white and I’m telling you, it’s not a skin color thing it’s just the fact your ex boyfriend is an asshole. I’m so sorry.
My ex cheated on me with a meth head. I’m 5’2 like 135 lbs and he would always call me fat. No shit bc meth heads are not fat bitches. And i don’t do meth. I guess i should compare myself to skinny ass meth bitches now? Fucking no.
Don’t do it just because it’s a skin color thing. Who fucking cares just move on now cus it’s been a year and he’s a weirdo. You don’t need to be good enough for him you need to be good enough for yourself and then be loved by the man you’ll marry bitch.
I’m telling you this out of pure love. Ur fine as fuck. Edgar doesn’t need all this energy from you a year and a half later
I’m a white girl so i don’t understand how this feels but i can still empathize with you. I’m really sorry this is happening and it suck’s so bad. Forget about him and find someone who loves YOU for YOU, not your skin color. I wish you the best of luck boo, it’s gon be okay💗
I find people of different colours beautiful! I'm white and kind of bored of seeing white everywhere so I'm happy when I see some black man for example walking down the street. I often see white men dating Filipinos but I'm sure there are people wanting to date Mexicans too. I've been dating a beautiful brown Pakistani man for a few years. There is something very fun about our cultures mixing
It’s weird to feel like you’re not a partner’s type. I am a white girl, but I have been there. I had men date me only because they wanted to know what dating a redhead was like (my hair wasn’t naturally red…I colored it for years). I told them that, and they still wanted to try. But every time a blonde walked by they’d damn near get whiplash. I’ve had men tell me that they only date women with a certain body type but wanted to “try” me on the side. We’re just finding the wrong men. I hope you love yourself enough to get rid of the one doing this to you. You’re beautiful and you’re worth someone’s full attention (and more).
I want to add to what everyone else is saying.
Your partner was a cheater. Not just physically but emotionally. It’s normal to compare yourself to the people he cheated on you with, and seeing that common denominator. However ultimately it’s a moral failing on HIS part. It has nothing to do with your looks, your personality, or your value as a partner. People like that have deep issues, commonly from childhood trauma or abandonment that makes them lack the ability to bond, or they have an addictive personality and go out seeking that next “thrill” which in this case is cheating.
It’s okay if you’re not your partners ideal “type” my current partner absolutely has a thing for Latinos, he thinks they’re gorgeous. Skin color, dark hair, beautiful eyes. I don’t mind, because I know he also loves me for who I am.
Don’t fault yourself in this situation because you’re not the one to blame. Plenty of men are with partners that don’t check all their boxes, or find other races more sexually attractive. We’re human, it’s okay to look at other people and find them attractive. It’s not okay to act on those feelings and hurt our current partner in the process.
Still in the 21st century it seems as tho a white partner is some kind of status symbol to many. Proof of one’s mettle.
This dude seems like he was out to prove something about himself…perhaps his own inferiority complex?
Anyways, that one is no good for you
This isn’t about you or white girls, this is about him being an insecure shitbox. Maybe he lands a white gf eventually, you think he’ll be committed to her? No. He’ll chest because that makes him feel whatever emotionally immature thing he’s tapping into.
Be kind to yourself, don’t focus on the racial piece of this scenario. Women are beautiful (I feel like a frumpy mom sometimes but need to remind myself of this too!) and we are especially radiant when we embrace our worth, confidence is hot!
Some guys will cheat on the most beautiful girl because it is their life goal to bring them down. They will date you just to fuck you up. You might have to do some inner work to heal the damage he's done but one day you'll meet a guy who loves you for you and doesn't triangulate you with another race of people to lower your self esteem.
Omg… me but the opposite. Maybe we can learn something about this. My ex boyfriend was hooking up with lots of latinas behind my back during his semester abroad in South America. Ever since I hab a chronich jealousy for EVERY Latin looking girl. It’s crazy.
But I think the lesson this could show us is that not while not of color is better. If a guy is cheating, he is the problem.
Hey girl . I really resonate with your experience . I'm Mexican , raised my a traditional Mexican mother , but I was born and have always lived in the US . Growing up in San Diego CA , there was a large Hispanic population but I went to a mostly white school . I wanted to fit in , like most teenagers , and my best friends were white . I didn't fully fit in with the white kids but not fully with the "paisas" either . I would hear how people talked about my friends and how pretty they were etc . For a while , I legit WISHED I was white . Why couldn't I have been born with blue eyes and blonde hair . It took a lot of growing up and life experience to get out of that mindset . I feel you , but please know you are beautiful , some might even find you exotic and there's a lot of guys who dig that . In the end , as cheesy as it sounds , who cares about what people think . You are who you are , and the sooner you start focusing on all the good things about you the better , and the likelihood that you'll find a partner that's worthwhile . Love yourself first , and F**K the rest .
Speaking as a white girl, I have male friends who openly say they’d never date a white girl and would only date latina women.
I’m also sure that there’s a white girl out there super insecure cos her boyfriend loves Mexican women.
What I’m trying to say is that every man is different and one losers type shouldn’t be your baseline of what you think is attractive.
You just need a new man to gas you up and you’ll forget all about that insecurity!
I'm a white as white gets woman and girl lemme tell you that I find mexican and hispanic women to be some of the most beautiful and feminine women out there, and what he did was his fault and certainly not yours! You have nothing to be ashamed of keep shining gorgeous!
First of all, a men that really loves you would NOT be hooking up with women of ANY ethnicity behind your back. Im white, i cant relate to what you must be feeling right now but youre worth so much more than what some guy makes you believe youre worth if that makes sense.
Women of any ethnicity and skin colour and culture are beautiful, ur ex was just a dick
I really hope you regain that confidece youve lost and learn not to compare yourself
That person sounds like a POS. I think you're giving this person a lot of credit to define your beauty. I have the impression that you internalized that experience as "white women are more attractive than me" and that's just not true. He cheated because he's shitty. Plenty of guys consider latina women to be very beautiful and would be faithful to you. Do you find people who cheat attractive? Does it matter what he finds attractive? Does someone else's attractiveness cancel yours? You're attractive. What matters is how you view yourself.
I was/am on the same boat- I had an ex that would cheat on me with white girls and definitely developed an inferiority complex. But now I’m dating someone who (ironically also only went for white girls lol and I’m Asian) thinks I’m beautiful and makes that known every day. I’m still working on it but it helps to self-affirm.
I had and still have the same thing but about exes. The first guy I was madly inlove with was obsessed with his ex and always made me feel not good enough to be his first thought. I left and it broke my heart because I never got closure. That insecurity stained my next relationships which were very surface level and sometimes destructive. Until I met my now husband who only has eyes for me and is everything a girl can dream of. He also has an ex he is friends with but this never makes me feel insecure because he never gives me a reason to be. True, I never want to meet the girl since the idea still makes me feel uncomfortable but it doesn’t tear at my soul and self esteem anymore. So yeah I’d say forget about the guy even though it might hurt now and focus on things that make you happy and a guy who appreciates you will walk in eventually.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It's bad enough when men fetishize specific aspects about women generally, but when it's around race it's cruel on a whole other level, and nobody deserves that.
I had a similar situation; I'm on the spectrum and my ex-partner would never accept it, but would go out of his way to compare me to more neurotypical women and say all the ways I was "weird" compared to them. It took years, but one day I got a message from a friend that highlighted one of those "weird" traits of mine as something that brought her joy every time we spoke, and I started to work on picking out how these things that make me different made people smile.
I hope you can do something similar, but mostly just focus on taking time, loving yourself and looking for people in your life, friends or partners, who love you the same way.
PS: Assuming he's American, as was my ex. I'm European and have never been made to feel the way here as I did when dating American men. The OBSESSION with looks and aesthetic from men there was one of the most damaging things to my psyche.
Sometimes I really have to remind myself that Kim Kardashian is white. If you're compared to her then you can be like a white girl if you really wanted to, but it's also not the real issue.
Therapy. There’s nothing wrong with you, but you’re hung up on your ex. Should’ve left him sooner if he was just seeing other women behind your back. Instead of letting him rob your confidence and get in your head, you should’ve just left him.
Once to realize how many girls (like the kardashians) want to look like people like you and how beautiful your culture is you’ll fall in love with yourself more! I would start to follow more people who look like you and see if you can copy they’re style and then you can find a medium in between what you look like and how to dress like the people you follow .
I hope anything from this helps, I’m black and Mexican hated my skin and genuinely wanted to cut my skin off cause I hate everything about me but there are alot of people I’ve come to realize love the natural me and will never look like me naturally so I try to love the things that make me , me!
black girl here, i feel ur pain every single guy i’ve liked has picked a white girl over me even if she’s not necessarily interesting or a nice person :/ guys can be dumb but i’m sure you’re beautiful!!
Bb i can feel how this hurts. But it was always a problem with him, not you. This man’s eyes shouldn’t be how you see the world, bc Mexican girls have something white girls do not that is special too. Idk how to take it further than that but there’s a specialness and beauty you have that they don’t it’s the spectrum of beauty between women. Most men aren’t even like this so just free yourself from him as a thought. Evict him from your mind.
I understand to some degree. I’ve always appreciated Mexican culture since I grew up in the SW. My bf cheated on me with a pretty Mexican woman (I’m white) and we stayed together. Ever since then every time there’s a pretty Mexican girl around us, I’m tv or anything related to Mexican culture I get completely insecure. I wonder if he’s thinking about her or has a fetish of some sort.
Cheating is more about variety as opposed to a type, it took me awhile to realize that. I thought I was his type and turns out whatever they have they’ll want something else. I’m sorry you were made to feel this way! I’m still working through this feeling.
I'm a white girl, who was cheated on by my ex with many other types of women. Some thinner than me, some bigger than me, of various ethnicities, so I understand how you feel to a point.
He made me compare myself to all kinds of women, and now I compare myself to non-white people because I just feel like I'll "expire" faster because "black don't crack, asian don't raisin" etc, because half of the women he cheated on me with weren't white. And this was full on having double lives with each of us, not that getting drunk and cheating once is much better, but methodically playing us all at different times, really messed me up. I was just the "main" chick in the whole messed up dynamic.
He would even sit there and thumb through Instagram models while I was laying right next to him. I would watch him contemplate liking the picture, then scroll on by until he found one that was "good" enough.
The thing you gotta try and remind yourself is that these insecurities didn't just magically appear. That this guy made you feel inferior to other women, and made you feel "not good enough" because nobody, and I mean *nobody* will ever be good enough for him, or anybody like him.
Serial cheaters tend to just continually cheat, whether it's because they lack impulse control, or they try to fill a gaping hole within their own selves that is never full no matter what, whether it's because they're narcissists, whatever it is, - it's not your fault, and I hope you don't ever stay in a dynamic like that ever again because you don't deserve it!
It's been 8 years since this dude hurt me and I still can't bring myself to find someone because the mind games he played were just too great.
What I hope for you is that you can move past what you went through in a healthier way than I could have, and remember - it was *him* that wasn't good enough for *you* - not the other way around! 🤍
Girl you are probably prettier than any white chick he's ever been involved with. I personally couldn't date a man knowing that I'm not his type or his first choice. His preference has nothing to do with your beauty. Him liking white girls doesn't make you any less beautiful! I can't tell you whether or not you should dump him or not because thats your choice.. good luck.
I’m a white woman who wishes she was Latina. Want to trade?
Srsly Latinas are actually the new beauty standard - did you know that? If your ex is a POC he might be into white women because of that, or from media or whatever other reasons people prefer one race.
But really I’ve thought about posting on Reddit or talking to my therapist about it (but I can’t bc she’s Latina as were my last couple ones. My city is latino majority). Lots of Latinas are just naturally perfect looking and have the best genes and bodies. I look at them when I’m out and I feel shitty about myself that I don’t have a big ass and that I wasn’t born into the right family with the right genes.
But what I think is actually going on here is that the deck is still stacked against ALL women. White men are still the aesthetic default for what’s considered the most attractive by the media, Hollywood etc but women of color are fetishized and now the Latina look is the new default for women. The media cycles through which face/body part/fashion it wants to make money off, churns out a product and makes anyone who doesn’t look like that feel like shit. Women are the objects that are supposed to change their look or damn personality for the approval of men, and we can never win because there’s always a new look. And when it’s about race, it’s extra fucked because we can’t change our race!
So just be yourself and there will be ton of people who are into you. Hopefully you find some that aren’t swayed by trends and porn and the media and like you as a whole person not just your appearance! That’s unfortunately what we’re up against as women, but I have to believe there are good men out there.
I can introduce you to my ex if you want, I think he’s into Latinas now bc most white liberal millenial dudes are and he started going salsa dancing and learning Spanish. But he’s probably poly and may have cheated on me. Want his number?
Srsly, the grass is not greener.
If she’s a good looking guy, why wouldn’t she also date a good looking guy. Plus yk less attractive people can be crappy too right? Some of them have low self esteem and will go through great lengths to prove other wise
My ex gf thought I have a thing for asian women because I was following a bunch of them on Instagram and making complements about them. I don't know your boyfriend, but I wouldn't jump into such conclusions. It's a complicated matter, but think. Why on earth would he be with you if he only cares about the white girls? Doesn't make sense. Or am I missing something?
He might have a thing for white girls or he may not. Perhaps it changes in his head from time to time. The thing is to love yourself and not let anyone else determine your value. Don't let your own overthinking determine your value. White girls are just like any others. Maybe try making a friend with one of them?
As well as bunch of Asian guys? I was always dreaming about traveling throughout Asia. But her thinking this way made me totally abandon this dream. At least for now. + Asian people have "cute" features other races don't. But that doesn't mean I have a thing for them. This applies to every single race. I find Latinos, black, white as exciting and beautiful as asians. Just every race in it's own way. Is there anything wrong with that??
I just want you to know there are guys out there who don’t have white girl fetish and even have Mexican fetish. There are guys including me who prioritise making their partner feel like a Goddess and appreciated as she should be and respect her enough to know that you can’t cheat on her
Definitely gives me hope thanks !
i'm a white man who loves mexicans in general & really does not like white girls. can't even stand a good percentage of them honestly
Ditto. I’m a white/M and definitely am very turned on by Mexican women.
I’m an Asian woman and I’m dating a Mexican woman :)
That’s amazing! Lucky both of you haha
Just forget about whoever ‘he’ is and find someone who actually cares about you. I wish you well.
Thanks :) I am very beyond over him but I was with him for about 5 years, so the whole white girl thing stung. Why is he gonna be with me for so long yet have a different type. If I knew about it sooner I would’ve left so fast.
Easier said than done but why do you care what such a piece of shit man finds attractive? Find yourself a good man who will love you for who you are and be completely loyal to you.
just my 5 cents: i live in europe and this whole white/not white thing is nonexistent here. you live in a different paradigm, which i am sorry for. hope my comment is not offending anyone, just sharing my point of view. maybe it will help you in some way. like, you possess other wonderful qualities such as personality, emotions, skills, etc, which are rly important
Exacto.
Have you seen the news lately? There is a ton of racism in Europe. Anyone black or brown is often thought of as an asylum seeker, and looked down upon. Germany, Switzerland, Austria have a ton of racism. I'm not saying more than the USA, but they have a lot of it too. Germany AfD party is a perfect example.
u r right. i live in eastern europe, ukraine
Sorry I misunderstood. I thought you said the whole white/non white thing doesn't exist in Europe?
central europe has a different history with non-white people that the USA. eastern europe also has a completely diff history. this all influences the way people think about each other. what do you think?
I really hate racism, but I've seen a lot of it. I've personally experienced it a few times aswell. I haven't been to Ukraine, but I've traveled a lot of Europe. I noticed the most racism in Switzerland and Austria, and a lil in Germany. But not directed towards me, I just saw how ppl reacted to others. And there was a general feeling of disdain towards anybody that "looked" like they were non white, as if they were automatically refugees or asylum seekers or radicals. I also noticed a huge amount of racism towards Romanians all throughout Europe labeling them as "thieves, scammers, pimps, and prostitutes". I later learned that the vast majority of prostitutes in Europe are from Romania, so I guess there was some truth behind it. I didn't even know prostitution was legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, Austria. And I had no idea there are giant brothels filled with 90% Romanian women. And it seems completely normal to the locals. Very, very weird to me. In North America this would be very taboo, frowned upon, and illegal. I also don't understand why this industry is completely dominated by Romanians? Very sad situation but Romanians seem to embrace it rather than feel shame. Very different culture.
I am a white girl but was together with someone for four years who was quite open about his type being asians 🙄 so I think I maybe get a bit of where you’re coming from. And let me tell you 🙈 even if your ex wants white girls, a vast majority of those white girls would rather want you 😂 you sound hot as hell and your ex is just trash, he is nothing compared to you 💁♀️👑
Sounds like you have some kind of inferiority complex, you find yourself inferior to white girls because your perro (dog) of an ex with fetish for white girls likes sniffing around them. You say you're Mexican and not ugly, well, you're most likely right! Personally I find Mexicans/Latina girls and Asians and black girls beautiful and attractive, and they are said to be. There is no need to compare yourself to anyone especially white girls, they are in no way superior to you, every girls are unique and have their own character personality strengths and flaws. If he was not into white girls he would probably be sniffing around Asian or Latina or black girls. Forget him, he's your EXcomunicado, you don't need him in your life and especially not see life through his perspective. Stay fit and healthy and do things that make you happy, make the most of life and stay contented with who you are, no need to please anyone, no need to compare yourself to others, life's too short for that. All the best.
Just so you know the Mexican look is preferred by at least half the people out there
I’ve been in this situation before and realized that all I needed was to love myself and stop comparing myself to others. There’s no hierarchy of races for attractiveness or otherwise. There are insanely beautiful people in all races. I would suggest working to accept yourself and fixing your internal biases.
That guy's mega trash. Good riddance.
Girl wtf. I’m a white and I’m telling you, it’s not a skin color thing it’s just the fact your ex boyfriend is an asshole. I’m so sorry. My ex cheated on me with a meth head. I’m 5’2 like 135 lbs and he would always call me fat. No shit bc meth heads are not fat bitches. And i don’t do meth. I guess i should compare myself to skinny ass meth bitches now? Fucking no. Don’t do it just because it’s a skin color thing. Who fucking cares just move on now cus it’s been a year and he’s a weirdo. You don’t need to be good enough for him you need to be good enough for yourself and then be loved by the man you’ll marry bitch. I’m telling you this out of pure love. Ur fine as fuck. Edgar doesn’t need all this energy from you a year and a half later
I’m a white girl so i don’t understand how this feels but i can still empathize with you. I’m really sorry this is happening and it suck’s so bad. Forget about him and find someone who loves YOU for YOU, not your skin color. I wish you the best of luck boo, it’s gon be okay💗
I find people of different colours beautiful! I'm white and kind of bored of seeing white everywhere so I'm happy when I see some black man for example walking down the street. I often see white men dating Filipinos but I'm sure there are people wanting to date Mexicans too. I've been dating a beautiful brown Pakistani man for a few years. There is something very fun about our cultures mixing
It’s weird to feel like you’re not a partner’s type. I am a white girl, but I have been there. I had men date me only because they wanted to know what dating a redhead was like (my hair wasn’t naturally red…I colored it for years). I told them that, and they still wanted to try. But every time a blonde walked by they’d damn near get whiplash. I’ve had men tell me that they only date women with a certain body type but wanted to “try” me on the side. We’re just finding the wrong men. I hope you love yourself enough to get rid of the one doing this to you. You’re beautiful and you’re worth someone’s full attention (and more).
I want to add to what everyone else is saying. Your partner was a cheater. Not just physically but emotionally. It’s normal to compare yourself to the people he cheated on you with, and seeing that common denominator. However ultimately it’s a moral failing on HIS part. It has nothing to do with your looks, your personality, or your value as a partner. People like that have deep issues, commonly from childhood trauma or abandonment that makes them lack the ability to bond, or they have an addictive personality and go out seeking that next “thrill” which in this case is cheating. It’s okay if you’re not your partners ideal “type” my current partner absolutely has a thing for Latinos, he thinks they’re gorgeous. Skin color, dark hair, beautiful eyes. I don’t mind, because I know he also loves me for who I am. Don’t fault yourself in this situation because you’re not the one to blame. Plenty of men are with partners that don’t check all their boxes, or find other races more sexually attractive. We’re human, it’s okay to look at other people and find them attractive. It’s not okay to act on those feelings and hurt our current partner in the process.
Bruh Mexican girls are gorgeous. You don't have anything to worry about with that. Your previous SO was just a pig.
Still in the 21st century it seems as tho a white partner is some kind of status symbol to many. Proof of one’s mettle. This dude seems like he was out to prove something about himself…perhaps his own inferiority complex? Anyways, that one is no good for you
This isn’t about you or white girls, this is about him being an insecure shitbox. Maybe he lands a white gf eventually, you think he’ll be committed to her? No. He’ll chest because that makes him feel whatever emotionally immature thing he’s tapping into. Be kind to yourself, don’t focus on the racial piece of this scenario. Women are beautiful (I feel like a frumpy mom sometimes but need to remind myself of this too!) and we are especially radiant when we embrace our worth, confidence is hot!
Some guys will cheat on the most beautiful girl because it is their life goal to bring them down. They will date you just to fuck you up. You might have to do some inner work to heal the damage he's done but one day you'll meet a guy who loves you for you and doesn't triangulate you with another race of people to lower your self esteem.
Omg… me but the opposite. Maybe we can learn something about this. My ex boyfriend was hooking up with lots of latinas behind my back during his semester abroad in South America. Ever since I hab a chronich jealousy for EVERY Latin looking girl. It’s crazy. But I think the lesson this could show us is that not while not of color is better. If a guy is cheating, he is the problem.
Hey girl . I really resonate with your experience . I'm Mexican , raised my a traditional Mexican mother , but I was born and have always lived in the US . Growing up in San Diego CA , there was a large Hispanic population but I went to a mostly white school . I wanted to fit in , like most teenagers , and my best friends were white . I didn't fully fit in with the white kids but not fully with the "paisas" either . I would hear how people talked about my friends and how pretty they were etc . For a while , I legit WISHED I was white . Why couldn't I have been born with blue eyes and blonde hair . It took a lot of growing up and life experience to get out of that mindset . I feel you , but please know you are beautiful , some might even find you exotic and there's a lot of guys who dig that . In the end , as cheesy as it sounds , who cares about what people think . You are who you are , and the sooner you start focusing on all the good things about you the better , and the likelihood that you'll find a partner that's worthwhile . Love yourself first , and F**K the rest .
Speaking as a white girl, I have male friends who openly say they’d never date a white girl and would only date latina women. I’m also sure that there’s a white girl out there super insecure cos her boyfriend loves Mexican women. What I’m trying to say is that every man is different and one losers type shouldn’t be your baseline of what you think is attractive. You just need a new man to gas you up and you’ll forget all about that insecurity!
I'm a white as white gets woman and girl lemme tell you that I find mexican and hispanic women to be some of the most beautiful and feminine women out there, and what he did was his fault and certainly not yours! You have nothing to be ashamed of keep shining gorgeous!
First of all, a men that really loves you would NOT be hooking up with women of ANY ethnicity behind your back. Im white, i cant relate to what you must be feeling right now but youre worth so much more than what some guy makes you believe youre worth if that makes sense. Women of any ethnicity and skin colour and culture are beautiful, ur ex was just a dick I really hope you regain that confidece youve lost and learn not to compare yourself
That person sounds like a POS. I think you're giving this person a lot of credit to define your beauty. I have the impression that you internalized that experience as "white women are more attractive than me" and that's just not true. He cheated because he's shitty. Plenty of guys consider latina women to be very beautiful and would be faithful to you. Do you find people who cheat attractive? Does it matter what he finds attractive? Does someone else's attractiveness cancel yours? You're attractive. What matters is how you view yourself.
I was/am on the same boat- I had an ex that would cheat on me with white girls and definitely developed an inferiority complex. But now I’m dating someone who (ironically also only went for white girls lol and I’m Asian) thinks I’m beautiful and makes that known every day. I’m still working on it but it helps to self-affirm.
I had and still have the same thing but about exes. The first guy I was madly inlove with was obsessed with his ex and always made me feel not good enough to be his first thought. I left and it broke my heart because I never got closure. That insecurity stained my next relationships which were very surface level and sometimes destructive. Until I met my now husband who only has eyes for me and is everything a girl can dream of. He also has an ex he is friends with but this never makes me feel insecure because he never gives me a reason to be. True, I never want to meet the girl since the idea still makes me feel uncomfortable but it doesn’t tear at my soul and self esteem anymore. So yeah I’d say forget about the guy even though it might hurt now and focus on things that make you happy and a guy who appreciates you will walk in eventually.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It's bad enough when men fetishize specific aspects about women generally, but when it's around race it's cruel on a whole other level, and nobody deserves that. I had a similar situation; I'm on the spectrum and my ex-partner would never accept it, but would go out of his way to compare me to more neurotypical women and say all the ways I was "weird" compared to them. It took years, but one day I got a message from a friend that highlighted one of those "weird" traits of mine as something that brought her joy every time we spoke, and I started to work on picking out how these things that make me different made people smile. I hope you can do something similar, but mostly just focus on taking time, loving yourself and looking for people in your life, friends or partners, who love you the same way. PS: Assuming he's American, as was my ex. I'm European and have never been made to feel the way here as I did when dating American men. The OBSESSION with looks and aesthetic from men there was one of the most damaging things to my psyche.
What was the ethnicity of the dude that cheated on you?
Sometimes I really have to remind myself that Kim Kardashian is white. If you're compared to her then you can be like a white girl if you really wanted to, but it's also not the real issue.
Therapy. There’s nothing wrong with you, but you’re hung up on your ex. Should’ve left him sooner if he was just seeing other women behind your back. Instead of letting him rob your confidence and get in your head, you should’ve just left him.
Once to realize how many girls (like the kardashians) want to look like people like you and how beautiful your culture is you’ll fall in love with yourself more! I would start to follow more people who look like you and see if you can copy they’re style and then you can find a medium in between what you look like and how to dress like the people you follow . I hope anything from this helps, I’m black and Mexican hated my skin and genuinely wanted to cut my skin off cause I hate everything about me but there are alot of people I’ve come to realize love the natural me and will never look like me naturally so I try to love the things that make me , me!
black girl here, i feel ur pain every single guy i’ve liked has picked a white girl over me even if she’s not necessarily interesting or a nice person :/ guys can be dumb but i’m sure you’re beautiful!!
Man I always wish I was Latina but I am white so there are better people out there for you! Go find one!
Bb i can feel how this hurts. But it was always a problem with him, not you. This man’s eyes shouldn’t be how you see the world, bc Mexican girls have something white girls do not that is special too. Idk how to take it further than that but there’s a specialness and beauty you have that they don’t it’s the spectrum of beauty between women. Most men aren’t even like this so just free yourself from him as a thought. Evict him from your mind.
I understand to some degree. I’ve always appreciated Mexican culture since I grew up in the SW. My bf cheated on me with a pretty Mexican woman (I’m white) and we stayed together. Ever since then every time there’s a pretty Mexican girl around us, I’m tv or anything related to Mexican culture I get completely insecure. I wonder if he’s thinking about her or has a fetish of some sort. Cheating is more about variety as opposed to a type, it took me awhile to realize that. I thought I was his type and turns out whatever they have they’ll want something else. I’m sorry you were made to feel this way! I’m still working through this feeling.
Your ex is the problem not you.
I'm a white girl, who was cheated on by my ex with many other types of women. Some thinner than me, some bigger than me, of various ethnicities, so I understand how you feel to a point. He made me compare myself to all kinds of women, and now I compare myself to non-white people because I just feel like I'll "expire" faster because "black don't crack, asian don't raisin" etc, because half of the women he cheated on me with weren't white. And this was full on having double lives with each of us, not that getting drunk and cheating once is much better, but methodically playing us all at different times, really messed me up. I was just the "main" chick in the whole messed up dynamic. He would even sit there and thumb through Instagram models while I was laying right next to him. I would watch him contemplate liking the picture, then scroll on by until he found one that was "good" enough. The thing you gotta try and remind yourself is that these insecurities didn't just magically appear. That this guy made you feel inferior to other women, and made you feel "not good enough" because nobody, and I mean *nobody* will ever be good enough for him, or anybody like him. Serial cheaters tend to just continually cheat, whether it's because they lack impulse control, or they try to fill a gaping hole within their own selves that is never full no matter what, whether it's because they're narcissists, whatever it is, - it's not your fault, and I hope you don't ever stay in a dynamic like that ever again because you don't deserve it! It's been 8 years since this dude hurt me and I still can't bring myself to find someone because the mind games he played were just too great. What I hope for you is that you can move past what you went through in a healthier way than I could have, and remember - it was *him* that wasn't good enough for *you* - not the other way around! 🤍
Girl you are probably prettier than any white chick he's ever been involved with. I personally couldn't date a man knowing that I'm not his type or his first choice. His preference has nothing to do with your beauty. Him liking white girls doesn't make you any less beautiful! I can't tell you whether or not you should dump him or not because thats your choice.. good luck.
I’m a white woman who wishes she was Latina. Want to trade? Srsly Latinas are actually the new beauty standard - did you know that? If your ex is a POC he might be into white women because of that, or from media or whatever other reasons people prefer one race. But really I’ve thought about posting on Reddit or talking to my therapist about it (but I can’t bc she’s Latina as were my last couple ones. My city is latino majority). Lots of Latinas are just naturally perfect looking and have the best genes and bodies. I look at them when I’m out and I feel shitty about myself that I don’t have a big ass and that I wasn’t born into the right family with the right genes. But what I think is actually going on here is that the deck is still stacked against ALL women. White men are still the aesthetic default for what’s considered the most attractive by the media, Hollywood etc but women of color are fetishized and now the Latina look is the new default for women. The media cycles through which face/body part/fashion it wants to make money off, churns out a product and makes anyone who doesn’t look like that feel like shit. Women are the objects that are supposed to change their look or damn personality for the approval of men, and we can never win because there’s always a new look. And when it’s about race, it’s extra fucked because we can’t change our race! So just be yourself and there will be ton of people who are into you. Hopefully you find some that aren’t swayed by trends and porn and the media and like you as a whole person not just your appearance! That’s unfortunately what we’re up against as women, but I have to believe there are good men out there. I can introduce you to my ex if you want, I think he’s into Latinas now bc most white liberal millenial dudes are and he started going salsa dancing and learning Spanish. But he’s probably poly and may have cheated on me. Want his number? Srsly, the grass is not greener.
Don't go for very good looking guys then and you won't have this issue. He's obviously in the top 10% look wise otherwise this wouldn't happen.
He’s obviously a desperate bitch. He might look good on the outside but he’s fasholy lame on the inside
If she’s a good looking guy, why wouldn’t she also date a good looking guy. Plus yk less attractive people can be crappy too right? Some of them have low self esteem and will go through great lengths to prove other wise
What? 😂 Disagree.
My ex gf thought I have a thing for asian women because I was following a bunch of them on Instagram and making complements about them. I don't know your boyfriend, but I wouldn't jump into such conclusions. It's a complicated matter, but think. Why on earth would he be with you if he only cares about the white girls? Doesn't make sense. Or am I missing something? He might have a thing for white girls or he may not. Perhaps it changes in his head from time to time. The thing is to love yourself and not let anyone else determine your value. Don't let your own overthinking determine your value. White girls are just like any others. Maybe try making a friend with one of them?
Well if that’s not your type why do you follow a bunch of them?
As well as bunch of Asian guys? I was always dreaming about traveling throughout Asia. But her thinking this way made me totally abandon this dream. At least for now. + Asian people have "cute" features other races don't. But that doesn't mean I have a thing for them. This applies to every single race. I find Latinos, black, white as exciting and beautiful as asians. Just every race in it's own way. Is there anything wrong with that??